All language subtitles for Mean Girls 2 2011_track3_[eng]

There are times in your
life when you find yourself

in very awkward situations.

I mean, just look
at that face, Jo.

Abby needs you.

We need you.

And we're willing to pay.

And this would
be one of those moments.

But I swear, it's not like I'm
selling my kidney or anything.

Although, that would
have been less painful.

But I'm getting
ahead of myself.

Let me start at the beginning.

And it's the big day, the
qualifying race of the Indy 500.

- She takes her position...
- This is my dad.

...revs the motor
of her stock car, hoping...

To not crash and burn on
the last lap of adolescence.

- Oh, that's my girl.
- Dad built engines
for race cars.

And so did I.

Ignore the pigtails.
I was more naive back then.

Because of his work,
I changed schools

two times a year
for the past eight years.

This doesn't make me
a loner with a highly evolved
defense mechanism or anything.

OK, fine, it does.

Today, everything
was about to change.

It was my first day
at North Shore High,

the last stop before
Carnegie Mellon University,

my dream school.

My rules of survival
were simple:

Don't stand out,
never raise your hand in class

and watch your back
at all times.

New town, same school,
same parking lot.

Everyone obsessed with the
freedom of their first car.

It's an identity, like
the muscle cars who think
they own the road,

and check out
every passing vehicle.

- Smart cars who don't fit in.
-

- Whoa!
- The "I'm so perky I might

shake off my tube top"
cutesy cars.

-
- And then there's the most
dangerous vehicle on the road,

the high-performance,
high-maintenance sports cars.

♪ Like a girl changes clothes ♪

If they liked you,
your life was all green lights.

- Hi.
- Hi.

If they didn't,

you were nothing more than a
wreck on the side of the road.

♪ That you're not
gonna change ♪

♪ 'Cause you're hot
Then you're cold ♪

♪ You're yes
Then you're no ♪♪

At North Shore,
they were called the Plastics,

and Mandi Weatherly
was the number one Plastic.

She dotted her name with a
signature heart above the "I."

Probably because she didn't
actually possess that organ.

Her two sidekicks
were Chastity Meyer,

who was stupid enough
to hit a home run with
any boy willing to play,

and Hope Plotkin,
uber-hypochondriac,

who believed that germs
led to ugliness,

and ugliness led to death.

And thus, my number one rule
for survival: no girl drama.

-
- Actually,
no drama, period.

Please, please, don't be ruined!

And in high school,
an already embarrassing moment
can go from bad...

- Whoa!
- Oh!

...to worse.

- Are you OK?
- How bad do I look?

She couldn't
have looked worse.

- You look great.
- Really? Thanks.

I'm Abby Hanover.
Yeah, you must be new.

I'm part of the welcoming
committee. Well, there's
only two of us really and...

...and I'd... I'd love
to show you around.

- Are they gone?
- Yeah.

Listen, I think I can find
my way to the front office,
thanks.

So, Jo, I see your
dad's big in NASCAR.

Well, let me set
your mind at ease.

We know how to deal with
celebrities here at North Shore.

One of our lunch ladies
was on the first season
of American Idol.

- Good to know.
- Yeah, it was pretty hot.

- And, uh, we're also
aware of your many moves.
- OK.

'Cause we're aware that students
who move around a lot

often wind up as
serial killers or actors.

Hey, did
I mention we have an
excellent drama department?

I'm not really into drama,

but I do know you have
an advanced shop class.

Ah, menial laborer
rather than intellectual.

I can respect that.

Um, the cheerleading squad

will be going to the public
library for a field trip.

Now, last year, we had
some problems with that,

where we had 12 girls go,

and we had 15 girls come back.

I know
how much you all love vampires,

but remember,
the school nurse will be

heading up the blood drive,
so sign up for that now.

Home ec's down the hall, miss.

Actually, as refreshingly
sexist as that is,

I'm here for Advanced Shop.

- Drafting class.
- Right.

Well, we lost Mike to that
circular saw incident,

so you can be
Tyler's partner.

OK, everybody, get started
on your birdhouses.

Trusses or triangles,
I don't care.

That's about all
I can deal with right now.

- Hey, Tyler, I'm Jo.
- Hey.

- What's his deal?
- Well, uh, Mr. Giamatti

bleeds Texas A&M maroon and
white, and they lost Saturday.

Well, if they want
to be taken seriously,
they better beat the Longhorns.

Don't let Giamatti
hear you say that.

And just
when a guy seems all dreamy

and has eyes
you can fall into...

So we have to build
a lame birdhouse. Um...

I guess you could decorate it.

...he opens his mouth
and sounds like an ass.

Wow, thanks.

But I was thinking I could

carve the dovetail joint.

- I'm impressed.
- That makes one of us.

In every school,
students have their lunch gang.

As my dad says, your racer is
only as good as your pit crew.

Cutest dog ever, Mandi!

Thanks! Coco Chanel really
sets off my new purse.

You had her checked
for rabies, right?

Too bad you couldn't
get the new Prada bag
with the fringe.

Would've totally
matched her brown fur.

Hello! Fringe is so out.

And I'm at the top
of the wait list for the new,
patent leather Prada satchel.

But you've already waited, like,
six months for the fringe...

Of course, Mandi,
fringe is so past tense.

Vogue says crimson
is the new accessory,

and you're totally
gonna rock that look.

Oh, I know.

Lost much, little freshies?
Scram.

Ten dogs in a minute.
Let's do this!

You guys are goin' down.
We're gonna win, come on.

- Yeah.
Yeah, let's go, let's go.
- Come on.

- Nick, focus!
- Come on, man.

Chastity, stop drooling.

You know what Mandi
thinks about you and Tyler.

What are you talking about?

Do not play dumb with me.

I don't have to play dumb.

Besides, the cashier
totally sneezed on your salad.

Ew!

- Ugh!
- Pay up, you two losers.

-
-

Ugh, God,
Nick is just so nasty.

I'm only dating him
'cause he's probably
getting a full ride to UCLA.

You know, one week
in LA and I'll be

a bikini model-hyphen-reality
star-hyphen-awesome!

- I heard Amy Hall
is totally into him.
- Oh, she wouldn't dare.

Nickie, over here.
I missed you.

- Hey, babe.
- Hey, have you
been lifting weights?

- Oh, dude, your rat-dog
just tongued me.
-

Shut up, Nick. You'll hurt
Coco Chanel's feelings.

- Aah!
- No groping
south of the equator.

- Or north, creep.
-

Wow, the hot chick can
really handle herself.

- Wonder what else
she can handle.
-

- Who the hell is she?
- Her name is Jo, Jo Mitchell.

She's in my bio class.

Somebody said she came
somewhere, from, like,
Florida or Texas.

Then I also heard that she's
an exchange student from Russia.

Oh, what did they
exchange her for?

She's kinda pretty,
don't you think?

Well,
if you're into pleather.

Hello, there.
Hi, Coco Chanel.

Go back to Mandi, go on.
Go, go, go.

- All right, just a little bit.
-

-
- Where's Coco Chanel?

Bad little girl.

-
-

-
-

Oh, my God! Who did that?

- Who fed Coco Chanel?
- It was Abby.

- Abby did it.
- You? Again?

I'm sorry, I didn't know.
I'm really sorry, Mandi!

I'll buy you another purse.

Or you can just have mine.

Is that what I think it is?

- Uh-oh, duck.
- I love ducks.

It's, um,
the Prada fringe purse.

My dad got it for me
last month, but...

Last month? Ugh, just go!

- Aah!
- Oh!

Stay down there,
and don't ever look at me again.

Better yet, don't even
breathe the same air.

Hey. Well, how was it?

I saw a girl become
roadkill in the cafeteria.

Gotta love high school.

Speaking of my escape,
has my Carnegie Mellon
application arrived?

Hey, you know,
I was lookin' today,

and I saw that the
University of Ohio has a
great architectural program.

You could stay close to home,

transform Toledo into an
architectural wonderland.

Dad, what's going on?

I'm applying early decision
to Carnegie Mellon.

Eh, what do you wanna
go there for, huh?

They don't even
have a good mascot.
I mean, a Scottish terrier.

Who's gonna be
intimidated by that?

Plus, you, uh...

You qualify
for in-state tuition here.

Oh, my God.

What happened to my tuition?!

Aw, Jo...
Look, I'm sorry.

I kept hoping that
the market would rebound,

but my investments are
in the tank, and now NASCAR
sponsors have cut spending...

Then make them
un-cut spending!

Mom went to Carnegie Mellon,
I... I have to go there.

- She loved it!
- I know, I know.

I'm sorry I let you down.

I know you're disappointed,
Jo, and that's OK.

Honey, you don't always
have to be so strong.

Strong?
I was trying not to panic.

But when you've moved
as much as I have,

you kinda get attached
to the idea of settling down
in one place for four years.

In this case,
my mother's alma mater.

My dad and I have been
on our own for a long time.

My mom died before I was one.

So life wasn't exactly
your typical warm
and fuzzy greeting card.

But I wasn't the only one
in my own personal hell.

Abby was hoping that her
swollen, black ankle

might be enough for Mandi
to forget about her dog's
infamous upchuck.

And it might have been,

if not for the
two's long history.

Jealousy is a funny thing.

They had lived across
from each other for years.

And while Mandi, seemingly,
had everything,

Abby had more.
She had two parents

who went a little overboard
for their darling Abby.

First, there was the infamous
moon bounce war at age five.

Mandi's was cool,

but Abby's
was three stories high.

Yay!

Then, the French
Revolution Halloween meltdown

at age 11.

Mandi flaunted her
store-bought peasant costume,

until she spotted Abby's
utterly perfect,

hand-stitched,
Marie Antoinette royal gown.

And finally, the great bra
incident of junior high.

- Hi, Mandi.
- Hi.

Well, that had more
to do with nature.

Still, Mandi might have
found someone else to hate,

if Abby hadn't
done the unthinkable.

Mandi, oh, my God! Someone has
a better parking space than us.

Hey, babe, who snagged
the plush disabled spot?

I guess you're number two now.

Two? Two?

Mandi hated
being number two.

- This is war.
- Oh, God.

- Elliot, we need
a little favor.
- Sure.

- Chastity.
-

- Hey.
- Anything.

- You're on
the Web team, right?
- Of course.

Trained in Java and C++.

I also have my Math Club Card,
Hacker Membership,
Journalist Pass,

- and I do a little salsa
for the ladies.
- Oh!

How can I be of service?

- Oops.
-

- Sorry.
- Oh, gross!

Abby Scabby's face
looks as red and pussy
as it did in seventh grade.

Zit cream much?

Mandi was creative,
ruthless, unrelenting.

- I'd seen her kind before.
- Need a napkin?

And this was
just the beginning.

Brutal.

You know, most girls would
have laughed, texted back
or posted a status update.

Do I look like most girls?

-
-

Oh, God.

What a paint job!

Need another one?

Hey, Abby, let me
give you a ride home.

I don't bite.

- Nice house.
- Thanks.

Abby? Honey, what's wrong?

- May I help you?
- Oh, hi.

I gave Abby a ride home from
school, and she dropped this.

What happened to Abby's car?
Did she have an accident?

She had an accident,
didn't she? Was she hurt?

No, it wasn't an accident.
It was just some
girls at school.

Again? I knew we should have
sent her to St. Mary's.

Right. Well, tell Abby,
Jo said goodbye.

She's a wreck.

Our poor baby, she keeps saying
that everybody hates her.

I'll buy her
some new clothes,
a week at a spa.

Money's not gonna
fix this, Sidney.

She's sobbing her eyes out,
and I don't know what to do.

If only she had some friends.

Listen, Jo, she's devastated.

But it's her senior year,
and I want it to be perfect.

I mean,
just look at that face.

She needs you. We need you.

And we're willing to pay.

- What?
- For you to be her friend.

Two, three, 4,000
to get you started.

- You're crazy.
- Wait, please.

I have more money
than I know what to do with.

And if I can't buy
my daughter's happiness,
then what is it worth?

- You can't buy friends.
- OK. Don't call it a friend.

Call it her bodyguard,
guardian angel,
fairy god-sister.

There must be
something you want.

Some dream I can
help come true.

A new car?
A trip to Europe? College?

College.

Today's economy,
it's rough out there.

You need money for college,
and it isn't cheap.

- Let me pay for yours.
- Forget it.

Look, just try it out
for 30 days, risk-free.

I guarantee you'll
be happy you did.

And just for trying,
I'll buy your college books
for freshman year,

which are yours to keep,
no questions asked,
as my little gift to you.

Sidney
was pretty convincing,

and I should have
realized why.

He was the king
of infomercials.

He could sell anything from
meat juicers to cat toilets

to my college tuition.

I knew it was crazy.

But Abby'd have
a good senior year,

and I'd get my dream of
Carnegie Mellon University.

I figured, who would it hurt?

Four hundred people
already viewed it.

That computer geek
lived up to his promise.

Which is like a rarity in life,
that anyone ever comes through.

Especially fathers and doctors.

Not my legs,
Chastity, my face.

Getting all
red and splotchy. Ugh.

- Uh-oh.
- What?

You're never
gonna believe this.

What do you mean?

Someone posted a link on
your page to another video.

Look, it's that new girl, Jo.
She totally bailed Abby out.

Ugh, who is this girl?
Some bad-ass biker chick?

- There's tons of comments.
- Ugh.

- All the guys think she's hot.
- OK.

So she's hot.

She's well-connected.

I mean, she's
pretty much one of us.

So we'll just need
to make it very clear that,

from here on out, she's only
nice to the people we like.

- Agreed?
-

Mandi, can I get a quote
from you on the school play,

or the lacrosse team, or just,
like, anything, really?

God, I am not up for the
paparazzi this morning.

It's so embarrassing
how much they love me.

I'm Mandi, with an "I."
And you're Jo, right?

- That's me.
- So, Jo, since you're new here,

I thought we'd help
you out, let you know
who to hang out with.

- Us.
- The real welcoming
committee had arrived.

- And who not to.
- Did I say "welcoming?"

Uh, oh, wow.

Thanks.

But I think I can
figure that out on my own.

Really? Well, I... I haven't
been impressed so far.

- Excuse me?
- But I'm a benevolent
dictator,

so why don't we discuss
over a non-fat, no-sugar
raspberry Frappuccino

- at the coffee joint?
- We only use Skinny-and-Sweet.

It's like cellulite in a straw,
but without the cellulite.

As scientifically interesting
as that sounds,

I'll have to pass.

Oh, it wasn't a question.

Oops. Guess I answered anyway.

Oh, my God. Hi.

I'm Quinn Shinn,
editor of the school paper.

That was unbelievable.
Nobody turns Mandi down.

- I just didn't feel like going.
- You're kidding, right?

No, the Plastics are goddesses.
And Mandi can, like, ruin you.

I wrote one article
on school uniforms,

and she put strawberries
in my yogurt.

How horrible for you?

Oh, I had an allergic reaction
to the strawberries,

swelled up like a big Arothron
hispidus. That's a blowfish.

Be careful, Jo.

Thanks, but I'm
not that worried.

Hey, what's up?

So you dropped your notebook,
but I gave it back to your dad.

Pretty cool sketches.
Are you an artist?

Look,
it's cool, I get it.
You don't have to...

- Get what?
- Principal Duvall sent you.

But look,
the welcoming committee
was just a stupid idea.

I mean, really, you're the first
new student here in ages,

so you're off the hook.

- Thanks for the ride, though.
- Sure.

Registration
for AP test has closed.

Now...

Uh, now, we all know the
tradition here at North Shore

is to, uh, use
the Homecoming Dance...

...to fund-raise
for charity, OK?

‘Cause otherwise you all
would just the think

the world revolves around
you and football.

And it doesn't, OK?

I told you not to walk
in front of...

Babe, I already chose your
tuxedo, rented the limo and...

Oh, red rose corsage,
not a frigging carnation.

- Mandi, you are so
winning Homecoming Queen.
- Totally winning.

...the school nurse
will be heading up
the blood drive,

- so sign up for that now.
- Please.

Like I'm letting that
petri dish of a clinic
stick a needle in me.

I know!
And no matter what I said...

- Hey, uh, do you know
where I could catch the bus?
- I think it just left.

Classic. This is why I really
need to fix my bike today.

Do you know any good
auto parts shops? I've
gotta get a new spark plug.

Well, I... I think
there's Pete's Auto right
next to the coffee joint.

I could give you
a ride if you want.

I mean, I really
owe you one anyway.

Sweet, thanks.

Oh, look, it's Jo!
Hey, Jo!

- Hey.
- She's with Abby Hanover!

Hi.

Thanks for the lift.

Do you wanna come inside?

I'll probably break something,
but... but sure.

- Who's that?
- Um, my mom.

She's really pretty.

Yeah. She was.

- What are these?
- Um...

That's the Sydney Harbor
Bridge and a skyscraper
I've been designing.

Kind of hard to tell,
I'm a crappy artist.

- I could help, if you want.
- Really?

Uh, you're pretty talented,
based on those sketches I saw.

You should see
my paintings sometime.

Uh, actually,
you don't have to.
It's a bad idea...

No, that'd be really cool.

OK. You ready to
go change a spark plug?

My gosh,
is that a friend?

Maybe you were right.

Girls aren't
so bad after all.

Hello, Mr. Winkle!

Are those illegal parts?
I'll bet you're running
a chop shop over there.

Well, I've installed
security cameras,
and I'll be watching you.

- You hear?
- Goodbye, Mr. Winkle.

Jo Mitchell, you have
no idea how scary I can be.

Hey, Abby! How are you?

- Ah!
-

- I can't get up!
- Are you all right?

I don't know.
Pull me as hard as you can.

OK.

- Now what?
- Uh, help me up.

OK.

Seriously? Who would ever
think of something so childish,

yet brilliant,
except a bunch of mean girls?

- Hey, Mandi.
- Hi.

- Now, what do we do?
- I would've
strangled her right there...

Meet me in the bathroom.

Bring any spare clothes
that you have.

...if I could
get off the Vespa.

Wow. Bad-ass!

- So cool.
-

Coming through!

Sorry!

Are you OK?

This is all my fault.

You should've never
hung out with me.

Mandi's gonna make
your life a living hell.

Abby, you can't live in fear.

- Did you find me
something to wear?
- Just my art smock.

That'll have to do.
Thanks.

- Do you need my help?
- I think I got it.

- How do I look?
- Great.

-
-

- Hey, nice look.
- It's not funny.

- I'm not joking, it's hot.
- Thanks.

No unauthorized
videos of my students
on the monitor.

By the next day, I hoped
everyone would have forgotten
about my wardrobe malfunction,

but it wasn't
what I was expecting.

Apparently, holding your
head high after a Mandi
vendetta earned you points.

- Oh, my gosh, this is so cool!
- You started it.

It was your smock.

- It's cute.
- It's pathetic.

I could smear paint
all over my Versace,
but I have taste, style.

They're just sheep.

Chastity, make out with
the student intern in the
front office, get Jo's file.

Hope, stalk her.

I want to know everything.

Wow, this is amazing.

You shouldn't waste your
talent on sketches for me.

Oh, I don't mind.

All right, what
should we work on first?

Um, well, I love
building cars with my dad,

but I wanna... I wanna
design something more
lasting and permanent.

I.M. Pei, for instance,
designs the most
amazing buildings,

- and Joseph Strauss...
- Built the Golden Gate Bridge.

Yeah, my family
went there last summer.
It's pretty awesome.

- Well, then, why don't
we start with San Francisco?
- All right, cool.

Oh, um, yeah, and if my dad
asks, this is a school project.

He thinks artists are,
like, homeless hippies, so...

- I don't wanna
get you in trouble.
- Oh, no, no, no!

I need some more samples
for my portfolio anyway.

I'm applying
to NYU Design School.

- Or, as I tell my dad,
Columbia Pre-Med.
-

These are...
They're incredible.

Thanks.

Tyler, late. Sit.

While I was breaking
all my rules with Abby,

I figured I could enjoy
a few other things

North Shore had to offer.

He could walk in late
any day he wanted.

♪ You're taking over my heart ♪

♪ Taking over my head
Making me rewind ♪

♪ Everything that you said
I can't concentrate ♪

♪ My mind hesitates
Everything that you do ♪

♪ I stop on a dime
When you come around ♪

♪ It's always the same
Don't you know you're
my favorite distraction? ♪

- Hey.
-

Oh. Hi.

OK, everybody, big day today.

A&M beat Arkansas
in overtime on Saturday. Yes!

Oh, and today,
we commence the great
egg-drop project.

Young lady, that is where
we drop a boiled egg in a
parachute without it breaking.

You'll be judged
on style and structure.

And if you'd just like
to opt out and bring in
deviled eggs for the class...

Tempting, but doesn't the
top student have the option

to submit for the Thompson-Bird
Architecture scholarship?

Yes, not that any
of you slackers care.

Eligibility for the scholarship
requires a 4.5 GPA,

at least a 2300 on your SATs,
math and verbal,

top scores
on all class projects

and a glowing letter of
recommendation from me.

- And as you know,
I don't glow often.
-

Let me guess,
we're gonna have to win.

Pretty much.

Well, then maybe we should
get in some extra study time.

Go to a movie or something?

- Tomorrow night?
- Sounds good.

- Hey!
- Guess what?

Tyler just asked me out.

It was amazing,
having a friend to confide in.

Jo, you can't.
It'd be a big mistake.

- Or not.
- You don't know who he...

He's my shop partner,
and I've seen him
without a shirt.

Good enough for me.

♪ Can't stay this way forever ♪

♪ Let's stay this way forever ♪

Oh, my God!
Tyler is a total traitor.

- She's so crossed the line.
- Who has?

That bitch, Jo.
God, Nick, keep up.

And give me your car keys.

Don't.

- Where you goin'?
- Nowhere. Out with a friend.

Your friend's got a nice car.
And your friend is also a guy.

Goodbye, Dad.
I'll be home by ten.

-
- Nice wheels.

Nick insisted
I borrow his car.

I figured you take
cars pretty seriously,
so I took him up on it.

Does that mean
I get to drive?

Yes.

- Oh, thank you.
- After you.

Thank you very much.

♪ Doctor, won't you
help me please? ♪

♪ Don't know where to go
I'm down on my knees ♪

♪ I need you ♪

- ♪ I need you ♪
- ♪ My mother said pick
the very best one ♪

♪ The very best one is Y-O-U ♪♪

I gotta admit, Jo,
you did pretty good.

No screaming
on the roller coaster,

a solid stomach
on the Gravitron.

And kicking your ass
at bumper cars.

I like a guy who
can take the heat.

Oh, really?

How many guys
are you looking at?

Come on, Jo.

Four schools in three years?

How many? Six boyfriends?
A dozen?

None.

But I'm sort of breaking
all my rules this year.

You've never
had a boyfriend?

Shut up! So I never
played Spin the Bottle,

I never suffered through
Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Never...

...kissed anyone?

♪ So I fell into your hands ♪

♪ I don't know
where we'll land ♪

♪ I'm just going
with the flow ♪

♪ Giving me love, love, love ♪

♪ Ah, ah ♪

♪ Giving me love, love, love ♪

♪ Ah, ah
More than I ever need ♪

♪ Your love ♪♪

...beginning
of the blood drive this
month, so sign up now.

That's it from me,
I'm your principal.

You know me.
I'll see you in the hallways.

Remember, stay left,
or right...

- How'd it go?
- Perfect, you had
nothing to worry about.

-
-
Hello, North Shore,

Last night,
our new girl Jo Mitchell

had a first date, and more.

Come on, Jo. How many?
Six boyfriends? A dozen?

None. But I'm
sort of breaking all
my rules this year.

Oh, God. This isn't happening.

- You've never
had a boyfriend?
- Shut up!

So I never played
Spin the Bottle,

I never suffered through
Seven Minutes in Heaven, I...

Never... kissed anyone?

That's right,
Jo Mitchell is a virgin!

-
- She's a virgin?

Ah, young love.
Isn't it pathetic?

Jo, I'm so sorry.
It's gonna be OK, I promise.

Emergency slumber party?

Thanks, Abby.

You're the best. I'm...

I'm sorry I didn't listen.

And Abby was the best.

Which only made me feel worse.

I was totally lying to her,

the one person who
kept having my back.

Maybe I deserved
Mandi's torture.

Jo, I'm sorry, I didn't...

How could you
set me up like that?

I hope you and Mandi
are very happy together.

I can't believe him!

Jo, how are you holding up?

Elliot wanted to do a story
on virgins in high school,

but I totally nixed it.

- Uh, hi. You're Jo, right?
- Yeah.

Guys. Last year,
all three of us fell
for this jerk of a senior.

We put out, and he
dumped us the next day.

We should have waited,
like you, for the right guy.

- Yeah, no kidding.
- Yeah.

Tyler wasn't exactly
the right guy.

He was just another one
of Mandi's puppets.

Yeah, well, we just
wanted to tell you
we think you're awesome.

- Yeah, definitely.
- See you around.

Thanks!

Why does he even
put up with her?

Why wouldn't he? You can't
choose your siblings.

- What? Siblings?
- I thought he told you.

- Tyler is Mandi's stepbrother.
- I'm such an idiot!

- I thought they
were just hooking up.
- Oh, gross!

But now you see
why it was so easy
for Mandi to bug your date.

No way, not Tyler. It had
to have been someone else.

Oh, my God.
We were in Nick's car.

- You dick! You bugged the car?
- Come on, man.

- I thought it was fun...
- Don't you turn
your back on me, Nick!

What are you gonna do,
Tyler? You're gonna hit
your best friend?

- Break it up!
That's enough!
- Can't you take a joke?

- I'm gonna mess you up!
- You don't scare me!

- You don't scare me.
-

Punch me!
Bring it on!

Well, that was fun.

Hope, what else do we
have on the Virgin Queen?

Well, a 4.5 GPA, high SATs,
three AP classes and...

Oh, she's applying for
architecture scholarships.

Her dream,
Carnegie Mellon University.

- Hm.
- OK, so one more time.

She's never made out
with anyone... ever?

Or this week?

Hey, not so fast.

Uh, today's your lucky day.
We got a sale going on.

- Twenty percent off
all grade changes.
- Look, just leave me alone.

Look, I'm just trying
to say I'm sorry, OK?

I was clouded by lust.

And if it helps,
I got kicked off the
Web team for abuse of power.

You're still a jerk.

At least your shirt's funny.

Nice fight in the cafeteria.
I could smell the testosterone.

Does this mean I'm forgiven?

Well, it's not your fault that
your dad married Mandi's mom.

But next time, warn me
that you live with Mandi

in a totally platonic way.

Wait, you thought...?

Dude, gross!

But despite Quinn
and Abby's urging,

I refused to stoop
to Mandi's level.

Besides, I was having
so much fun with my new
friends, I almost didn't care.

You coming?

Who are those girls?
Do they even go to our school?

I was just looking
at the Homecoming Web site,

and everybody's talking
about the hot, new couple.

Nick and I are the
hottest couple in school.

Not anymore.

So this was it,
the first challenge.

Success was worth 100 points,

and I needed every point
I could get to qualify
for the scholarship.

Boiled egg in the structure.
No breaks, no bruises.

- Ready?
- Ready.

And... drop!

OK, who
switched the eggs?

Who? No one?

Oh, well. Who's next?

Mandi had found a new part
of my life to destroy:

my chance at the
Thomson-Bird scholarship.

Our next experiment
didn't go much better.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

Hope called her doctor
on speed dial

and switched our CO2
for laughing gas.

Whoa!

Hey, guys, I'm here.

Seriously, Chastity?

I said "incognito",
not "like a flamingo"!

- Oh.
- Go.

Ew! Ew! Ew! There's poo
on my Jimmy Choo!

Shake it off, shake it off.

Go, slow.

Faster!

Uh, I can't go any further.

What is the matter with you?

Funnel.

The funnel!

- Oh, there you go.
- Right. Secret weapon?

- Oh!
- Hope, a fanny pack, never OK.

Coffee?

Perfect.

- Dad, what's going on?
- It's ruined.

- The whole motor is gummed up.
- What? What happened?

- It was running
perfectly yesterday.
- I don't know.

I don't know, maybe
it's the fuel, a faulty part.

It doesn't matter
because Jimmy and the boys are
expecting a trial run tomorrow.

Dad...

We can figure something out.

There's not enough time,
and there's not enough money.

Maybe I can call in a favor,
uh, beg for an extension,

tell 'em it was some kind of
fluke accident, I don't know.

But this was
definitely no accident.

Mandi had gone too far.

Mess with me, fine.

Mess with my family...

...you're dead.

It was as if all my
girl hormones had
kicked into overdrive,

and I was out for blood.

The Plastics were going down,

and I didn't care
what rules I had to break...

...to make her pay.

- What happened?
- Mandi happened.

Is that all you got?

Going after my dad,
you spoiled,
narcissistic bitch!

That's his job,
not some play-toy for you!

- But it was so much fun.
-

The way I figure it, no job,
no income, no house, no JoJo.

- Right?
- I don't run away that easy.

Get over yourself, man-hands.

You're just a passing phase.

I'm here for the long run.

Oh, yeah?
Are you sure about that?

Ooh! Coffee?

Abby, you don't need
to do this with me.

Of course I do.
It's what best friends are for.

There's something
I need to tell you.

This was it,
the moment to tell Abby

I'd made a deal with her father
that I totally regretted,

and beg for forgiveness.

But looking at her,

the idea of losing my first
best friend in a long time,

I couldn't do it.

So, what do you
need to tell me?

I, um...

You should know, my
last BFF relationship

crashed and burned.

She became snobby
and judgmental

and used guys
as pawns of warfare,

which is saying a lot,
considering it was fourth grade.

Geez!
Sounds like a mini-Mandi.

- But don't worry,
we're nothing like that.
-

Success! OK.

I grabbed all the archived
papers with the Plastics,

which was pretty much
every issue.

- If there's dirt,
we'll find it.
- What's this?

Mandi's Annual Birthday Bash.
Everybody wants to be invited.

But, of course, they aren't.
Mandi never allows anybody to
throw a party when she does.

Is that so?

I am so excited.

Tonight is gonna
be the perfect night.

It should be.
It's costing my dad enough.

Our dad, Tyler.

You know, most people
would die to be my brother.

That's only because they don't
know what you're really like.

You mean perfect,
awesome and popular?

More like conceited,
vain and vindictive.

You're only happy when
making others miserable.

But high school
will end, Mandi.

And then what
will you have left?

This is a bad idea.
Nobody's gonna show up.

Of course they will. Who wants
to go to some expensive party

with cocktail dresses
and raw fish,

where Mandi talks
about how awesome she is?

People who think
Mandi's awesome.

No one
actually thinks that.

Trust me, it's just years
of social brainwashing.

-
- Ooh!

Wait, why aren't
you guys ready? Huh?

- People will arrive any minute!
- We are ready.

No! No!

- Abby, no! Honey!
- Mom...

I bought you all those
party clothes for a reason.

Now you don't have
an excuse, because
you're actually the host.

Huh? Come on. Come on, come on!
Come on, let's go.

- Come on, sugar, let's go!
-

Come on! My little girl
is throwing a party!

- Seriously?
- Mom, stop.

Now, Jo, you know
you're not gonna have
this little body forever.

- Mom!
- I'm just saying
she oughta show it off.

- Mom, just stop!
- In something like this.

- Ugh! Ilene Hanover!
- Definitely.

I knew it!

- Invitation, miss?
- I don't have one.

Oh, no, I'm sorry,
it's invite only.

Okay.

Thank you, thank you all so much
for coming to my birth...

Where... Where is everyone?

♪ Spend it up so big ♪

♪ So the whole world
knows my love for you ♪

♪ So big
My heart is so big ♪

♪ My love is so big
For you ♪

♪ For you, for you ♪

Wow! I can't believe this!

I can't believe this
is my house, my party!

Believe it.

- You both look amazing.
- Thanks, you're
not so bad yourself.

This party rocks!
Only where's the food?

Oh, I heard Mandi's
serving nigiri sushi.

- That's sushi.
- Pizza's coming.

Pizza.

This is a disaster
of epic proportions!

I mean,
don't panic, Mandi.

Maybe they just got
the wrong address.

Or... what if Jo and Abby

are throwing a party tonight?

Stating the
obvious much, moron?

- What are we gonna do?
- Not go over there?

He's inside!

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Now I wanna do it up
so big ♪

Hope, do you still have that
vile medicine from your doctor?

You mean the ipecac?
Of course.

-
- Oh!

♪ Before she got your boy
doing crazy things ♪

♪ That I never
thought I'd ever do ♪

Elliot hasn't stopped
staring at you all night.

Really? But he's Elliot.

Thanks.

Oh, thank God,
I'm starving.

Do these smell funny?

Maybe the delivery guy
mixed up our order.

- Here you go. Thanks.
- No problem. Glad to help.

- Wait! Don't eat that.
- What? Why?

Because I'm not the only one
who paid the pizza guy.

OK, it's done.

Their party's about to
get extremely unsanitary.

- What'd I miss?
- Oh, nothing, honey bear.

We just have
a party to attend.

Oh, and I wouldn't wear
nice shoes if I were you.

Perhaps galoshes.

- Happy not your birthday!
- Really, Chastity?

Joke.

Wait, nobody's puking.

Oh, thank God!

I mean, damn it!

Where's the pizza?

What the hell happened?

God, Nick, go do something!

- Look at those two.
- God, what does Tyler
even see in her?

Get over it
already, Chastity.
My brother is off-limits.

Like what you
say matters, Mandi.

You can't even
throw a birthday party.

Shut up!

I'll be right back.

Man, the food's all gone.

Oh, Nick, I saved you
a piece of pizza.
One second.

Why is Mandi here?

Well, I think she was hoping
to gloat over a party disaster,

which, if I can count
on Nick, won't take long.

- Bon appetit.
- Thank you.

Mandi, can I see
your invitation?

Because I'm pretty sure I left
"Vapid Bitch" off the list.

You think you're so clever,
but you're not.

You're just using my brother
to get back at me, and I'm gonna
make sure that he knows that.

Not everything
is about you, Mandi.
Especially not my love life.

At least I have one.

Where's your boyfriend
on your birthday?

You wanna see
a love life, little virgin?

I'll show you.

-
-

Oh, my God,
did he just...?

Oh! Oh God,
move! Move!

Yep. Sorry
about your patio.

Oh, totally worth it!

♪ Concerning nobody else,
just you ♪

And we didn't
just stop there.

Abby, Quinn and I set out
to disband the Plastics

once and for all.

We called ourselves
the Anti-Plastics.

Not very original,
but it got the point across.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

- ♪ So here's my confession ♪
- We gathered our forces.

But as the Anti-Plastics grew,

Mandi started recruiting
for her side.

♪ It's time, it's time ♪

♪ I want my name
on the marquee ♪

♪ I want you to want me ♪

It was time to break
apart the founding members,

starting with Chastity.

So we simply
tipped Principal Duvall.

Oh! Oh, Principal Duvall!
A note.

Her weakness:
a raging libido.

OK, where's the back stairwell
that's a herpes infection
waiting to happen?

- C-wing.
- Thank you.

♪ Never let me go ♪

♪ So I can feed
your addiction
in the stereo ♪

♪ I could be just
your type of high ♪

Elliot, let me borrow that.

♪ You're talkin'
about the narcissist ♪

The camera! Get to class.

For the love of all
that's sanitary,
get outta there, people!

♪ Let the music
just take control ♪

♪ So here's my confession ♪♪

You wait right here,
young lady.

You officially earned
detention for a week.
Unbelievable.

No, no, no!
In solitary confinement.
Let's go, move it.

- Principal Duvall.
- What?

- The announcements!
- Oh, yeah, let's go!

- And action!
- Good afternoon, everybody.

We have a winner for the
Homecoming Dance Charity.

The winner
is the Humane Society.

So... Where did
you come from?

Get outta here! I'm talking
about the importance of
neutering here, people!

- How could you do that?
- Do what?

Rat out all of my
make-out spots! You're
the only one I told, Mandi.

Now, who's gonna do my homework
and tell me I'm special?

- Sorry.
- Hey!

For Hope,
who'd been a hypochondriac

since contracting mono
from a water fountain,

we said goodbye to Mandi's
"no bodily fluids" rule.

-
- Ew! Oh, my God, oh, my God!

- I'm gonna contract E. coli.
- Even worse, you have a zit.

I knew ugliness was contagious!

Hope booked
an emergency healing massage
and seaweed facial.

♪ Takes a flash
to figure it out ♪

♪ But in your memory
you might find some holes ♪

♪ Oh, like the last six hours
That made you realize... ♪

Unfortunately, there
was a mix-up at the spa,

and Hope ended up resembling
the Wicked Witch of the West.

It still hadn't faded
after an entire weekend.

Mandi! What is wrong with you?

You didn't pick me up.
I had to ride my Schwinn.

I don't pick up ogres.

And green, definitely
not your color.

Wha...?

Why hasn't it washed away?

I added some
long-lasting henna ink.

Don't you think
that's a bit much?

Come on,
she deserved it.

♪ Time to do
the walk of shame ♪

♪ Hide your face... ♪♪

Peace out!

Nobody'll ever see that.

With Chastity
and Hope down,

there was only
one Plastic left.

Cupcakes! Cupcakes!

Red velvet,
or perhaps devil's food cake?

- Thank you!
- Traitor!

- You don't own me, Mandi.
- Oh, yeah?

Oh!

I don't like you right now!

You totally lost my vote.

Yummy frosting, though.

Nice job, Quinn.

You truly are an amazing
investigative reporter.

I've been obsess... I mean,
watching them for years.

Just needed to dig
a little deeper.

Hi!

Hey.

- Hey!
- Hey!

- Hi.
- Hey!

- Hello, girls.
- Hey!

- I already got my dress.
- Hey.

- Oh, hey, Abby.
- OK, Jo, this year the music
better not suck at the dance.

- You have sway
with the DJ, right?
- Of course.

- What are your requests?
- OK...

- We could get that guy who...
- You know, if she keeps

inviting everybody
to join our group,

there won't be any room left.

At least Mandi understood
the importance of exclusivity.

Someone has to be
the proletariat.

That's lower class.

Hey, kid.
Lend me a hand, huh?

Jimmy gave me an extension
on delivering the engine.

Um, sorry, Dad.

I've got shopping with Quinn
and a movie with Tyler,

and I still have
to make my campaign buttons.

Busy, busy!

Busy, busy.

- Hey, Jo.
- Hi.

- Hey!
- Hi.

- Hey, what's up?
- Hey.

- What's up?
- Hi.

I wonder how much
sugar is in this.

- You did not just ask that.
- What?

Jo, you ate, like,
two funnel cakes, a hot dog

and a bag of kettle corn
on our first date.

And you didn't wear
these crazy studded boots.

Come on.
You're kidding me, right?

- Using me to make
Chastity jealous?
- Look, I was just...

Starting to act a hell
of a lot like Mandi,

which is not the kind of
girl I want to be dating.

Hey, I am nothing like Mandi.

Oh, really? Running
for queen, humiliating people,

using their secrets against
them, dressing like you're
on the cover of Rolling Stone,

which, OK, it's kinda
hot sometimes,
but not the part

where you suddenly care about
what everyone else thinks.

Jo...

What happened to that girl
I met in shop class?

And when I got home,
there it was,

waiting for me:
my future.

How had I almost forgotten?

The fat letter!

- It's good news, right?
- The best.

Ah, Jo. Look, honey,

I feel lousy
about your tuition fund.

But, honey, that doesn't mean
that you shouldn't be excited.

I mean, CMU, that's...
that's big stuff!

And if I can just get
this engine finished,

or... what about that
architectural scholarship?

The scholarship.

But somehow,
all this campaigning

and preening and plotting
had gotten in the way.

I didn't even know
what my grade was
in shop class anymore.

Oh, hey, I almost forgot. Um...

Abby's dad dropped
this off for ya.

So does she know where
she's goin' to college yet?

Um, Abby wants art school, but
her dad's more of a pre-med guy.

Well, just make sure that
she knows that to, um,
to win the race...

You gotta be in the race.

But what if I wanted out?

What if I wanted
to forfeit the race

because I didn't
deserve to win?

Got something
that's real revolutionary.

It's gonna revolutionize
your gardening experience.

Hey, Mr. Hanover.

Abby's not home
from the movie yet, is she?

No,
thought you'd be with 'em.

- But glad you're here.
- Listen, Mr. Hanover, I...

- I brought back the money.
- Jo, what, are you crazy?

The money's for you,
every damn penny.
You've earned it.

Hiring you to be her friend was
the best money we've ever spent.

Please, Mr. Hanover,
I can't.

Jo, I'm sending it
right back to you.

I'd give a bonus,
if I gave them.

Which I don't.

Is it true? Did my dad pay
you to be friends with me?

Quinn finally
got her big story.

She quoted Mandi
as a witness.

Why would Quinn do this?

How could you?

- I was gonna
tell Abby everything.
- Face it, Jo.

The Plastics
are the originals,

and they don't have to pay
anyone to be their friend.

No! You just sold out
your friends for free!

Oh, what,
like you sold me out?

God, I trusted you.

You know what?
You go to hell, Jo Mitchell.

I wish I never even met you.

Just
to see their faces.

You were so good, Mandi.
I totally voted for you.

- It's too bad this
didn't come out earlier.
- Why?

Well, from what I hear, Jo is
a shoo-in for Homecoming Queen.

It's too late for people
to change their votes.

- That is, if she's eligible.
- Eligibility is based
on matriculation.

- So she'd have to be
expelled or something.
- Oh.

Wouldn't that be a tragedy?

This is gonna be
the best senior prank ever.

The best.

OK, so tell me again
why we don't keep the money?

- That's a lot of money.
- Then there's no dance,

and if there's no dance,
I'm not the queen.

I don't know.

Money can't do this.

As many of you know,
we had a robbery last night.

Now, the evidence strongly
suggests that the thief

was a student,
because of his wanton disregard
for school property.

This student, or students,
clearly degenerates,

stole the money that was
intended for helpless animals.

Now, unless
the money is returned,

I have no choice but
to cancel the Homecoming Dance.

-
- This is your principal,

signing off for today,

reminding you to stay left
or right, not center.

Miss Mitchell, I received
an anonymous tip today
that you stole the money.

That's a lie.
I would never do that.

Well, apparently you did.

We had a policeman go
to your shed this afternoon.

And I'm afraid we
found the stolen money.

- How did that get there?
- I didn't steal it, I swear!

Somebody must've
put it there, and...

I would bet anything
it was Mandi.

Well, now, Miss Weatherly
may be the spawn of Satan,

but unless you have proof,

there's nothing I can do
except expel you.

It officially
couldn't get much worse.

I'm also sorry to say
that I'm gonna have to report
this to Carnegie Mellon,

and they very well may
rescind your admission.

Miss Mitchell, where are
you going? Come back here!

- Did you hear about Jo?
- I can't believe it.

- What a fake.
- I knew it.

I knew it all along,
and I tried to warn people.

I tried to protect
you all from her.

- Mandi, you are
like a saint.
- Yeah, a total saint.

- Oh, yeah, a real martyr.
- You mean a real bitch!

Wait. As much as
we all might like that,
I can't let it happen.

This is crazy! Shouldn't she be
locked up in juvie or something?

Girls, why don't we
settle this like ladies...

Screw being ladies,
and screw being girls!

I'm sick of the mind games
and the backstabbing
and the set-ups.

I know you framed me, Mandi.

So we're gonna settle this
like men, on the battlefield.

- Oh, please.
- That's right.

I challenge you...

...to a football game,

- Powder Puff style.
- No way.

I... I don't do sports.

Aw, you scared?

Can't take the heat, Mandi?

I thought you were
the best at everything.

I thought people trembled in
the presence of the Plastics.

You wanna win?

The only way you're gonna
become queen is by default.

Fine, you're on.

But be prepared to lose.

You know, you
and your team of one.

I realized
a little too late that
I no longer had any friends.

But if I had to take on
all the Plastics by myself,
I would.

All right, let's get
to class, everybody.
...hang out in the hallway.

- Do you really
think she did it?
- I don't know anymore.

Certainly not about Jo.

Hey, Mr. Hanover,
this was in our mailbox.
It's for you.

- Listen, you're Jo's
boyfriend, right?
- Ex-boyfriend.

Huh, awkward.

Thing is, I've got
something for Jo.
It's the money, actually.

Would you give it to her?
A deal's a deal. It's not
her fault Abby found out.

- She gave the money
back to you?
- Of course.

I was expecting it, really.

I knew she'd love Abby
once she got to know her.

I just needed
to make that happen.

So remember, you can't wear
red or pink to the dance.

Those are my colors.
And I'm wearing my hair up,

'cause it's best for the crown,
so wear yours down.

- Quinn, are you listening?
- Yes, absolutely. Hair down.

Hey, Abby.

- Look, just don't.
- But...

You know, Jo may
have lied to me,

but at least she
taught me one thing.

Stand up for myself.
So... get lost, Quinn.

Fine, hate me.

But you should know I don't
think Jo stole the money.

I think Mandi did.

- How do you know?
- Because I sort of gave her

the idea to get Jo expelled.

Also, Jo spent an awful lot
of time putting together

and sending out college
applications for you.

She even put together
your portfolio.

I helped her make about
a dozen of those with
journalism equipment.

I hope you get
into art school, Abby.

I really do.

So Mr. Hanover just called.

Apparently, one of his
distributors is sending
new parts for the engine.

That's great, right?

We can finish the car in time
for Jimmy and the new racer.

So, you, uh...
You heard from Abby?

I've texted, called.

I tried her
NorthShoreCentric page.

No luck. That girl
really hates my guts.

But I can't blame her.
I'm not sure why you
don't hate me.

Listen, kid, I'm not proud
of what you did to Abby,

but I know
that you care about her.

- And you're
certainly not a thief.
- At least someone believes me.

Oh, I don't
think it's just me.

- Am I seeing things?
- We haven't forgiven you yet.

Not even close.

But we can't let you
take the fall for Mandi.

- That's right,
we've got your back.
- Mandi's goin' down.

-
- I knew it.

I knew Mandi set me up, and...

...you guys came to rescue me.

I don't deserve you.

Oh, my God, are you crying?

- No, I never cry.
-

All right, now come on,
we have a game to prepare for.

And you're right,
Mandi needs her ass kicked.

And we have an idea
to prove your innocence.

- Do you think you can do it?
- Hack into their
security system?

Not easy, but not impossible.
I just have to detect
their wireless signal,

then hack into their computer
and find their security account.

- Uh, wait, got it.
-

They named their Wi-Fi
"AlwaysWatching?"

What's their
pass code, “666”"

It'll take a few days, but if
Mandi planted the evidence,

I'll find the footage.

But... I want
something in return.

I knew it. I knew
he wouldn't do it for free.

What do you
want, Elliot?

A date to the dance,
with Abby.

Oh, um, hey,
good luck at the game.
I'll be rooting for you.

Uh, even got my
own side biz going on.

Odds are 30 to one
in Mandi's favor.

- What? Why?
- You haven't heard?

Mandi had managed
to recruit the captain
of the rugby team...

...a fifth-year senior
who felt no pain...

...and the three-time
Junior Division Karate
Champion onto her team.

But we weren't backing down.

And neither was Mandi.

She wasn't going
to pull any punches.

It was time to end this
once and for all.

- Got it?
- Yes, sir!

Good!

Hi, baby!
Oh, you look so cute.

- Our little athlete.
- Mom, Dad, come on.
You know you can't be in here.

- Just go.
- You're right, you're right.
We need to find a seat.

- The bleachers
are already filling up.
- Yay! Yay!

- I'm gonna vomit.
- It's gonna be OK, I promise.

- What's the worst
that could happen?
- We lose?

-
- Is everybody decent in here?

I don't want a sexual
harassment lawsuit... again.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, we're good.

Principal Duvall, what are you
doing here on a weekend?

Well, I've tried to turn
a blind eye to this game,

but the fact that you made
the challenge in my presence,

and you've plastered
the school with posters
made that kinda hard.

Thought you guys would wimp out.

But I guess now
I will have to intervene.

Mainly because Mandi's team
wants to file a lawsuit.

- What are you talking about?
- Jo, due to your expulsion,

you are not allowed
on school grounds.

Thus, you cannot play the game.

- Damn it! Mandi was
counting on this.
- I know.

- You know?
- Yep, which is why I looked
into this issue days ago.

You know, technically,

the football field
is public property
since it's on park land.

You know, the school
only rents it for games.

So all we needed was a permit,
which I have right here.

Oh! Well, great then.

I guess you are just not
allowed in the locker room.

Oh. See ya!

Well, I guess my
job here is done.

Ha-ha! Let's go, team!

Kill! Maim! Dismember.

-
-

Whoo! Yeah!

-
- Yeah! Whoo!

-
- Go, Abby!

The big day was upon us,

and we were going
to take the Plastics down.

Come on, girls!

We were ready
for anything.

Didn't expect to see me here?

I'm still gonna
kick your team's ass.

OK, girls, listen up.

Football is a religion,
and you are now in church.

Do not disgrace this field.
We'll play by playground rules.

Fumbles that hit the ground
are live balls.
Four downs and out.

No punts, no extra points
and a touchdown is seven points.

Get it? Got it? Good!

We will flip a coin to see
who receives the ball.

- Pink Team, you call it.
- Heads.

- Heads it is.
- We'll receive.

All right, shake hands.

-
- OK, then.

Ow!

Run, moron, run!

- Take it, take it.
-

- There's no nunchakus
in football!
- Man.

Ball, now!

Touchdown!

Yay!

-
-

So listen. My dad always
says to win the race,

you've got to be in the race.

So think of the worst thing
the Plastics have done to you,

and knock them down.

If they're gonna play
full contact, so are we.

Fumble-rooski on two.

- Break!
- Break.

Yeah!

- Yay!
- Yeah, Jo!

Good job, honey!

What... What's goin' on?
What... What are you doing?

-
- Yes!

Touchdown!

That's not fair!
She can't do that.
Can she do that?

- You girls can really play.
Who knew?
- Thank you.

Damn it, we're tied.

I swear, if you let
that psycho Jo near me,
I will end your social lives.

- Time for D and D.
- Ooh, dirty dancing?

Yeah, Chastity, dirty dancing.

No! Down and dirty, OK?
Down and dirty.

Let's get ‘em. Go!

OK, they were big,
they were bad.

- We were dead.
-

I can't see. I can't see!

- Nothing?
How bad's your vision?
- I'm legally blind!

Number one!

-
- Just freshening up.

-
- Smells like lavender
and ocean breeze, doesn't it?

- Oh, come on!
- Come on, girls.

Enough of this,
let's play football!

All right.
My muscles are mush,

my lungs are about to burst
and just look at us.

- I agree, we're totally
not gonna lose.
-

- Gesundheit.
- Cover your mouth.

- Really? ‘Cause
they have the ball.
- We have to take a stand.

- We can't let them score.
-

- Gesundheit.
- Dude, cover your mouth!

- OK, I got it.
- Jo! I did it!

- Look, he did it!
- He did what?

- Yeah. Yeah.
-

Is that yours?

Cool, Mandi is goin' down!

I told you.

Let me see that,
let me see that.

- Ling... Come on!
- What?

What are you waitin' for?
This is football! Come on!

Makin' everyone else do
your dirty work, Mandi?

You're still gonna lose.

Give me the ball.

Now!

Is that Nick Zimmer?

One, two,
three... hut.

No, no, no! No, no!
Come on, man, it was her idea.

Right there, Mandi! Number one!
You're not number one anymore.

But I love you, baby.
It wasn't my idea.
Why are you handcuffing me?

- Get off me!
- I'd love to.

Let me go!
Get off me!

- That's not me!
- It sure looks like it's you,
Miss Weatherly.

Are you crazy?
Do you know who I am?

I am Mandi Weatherly!
My mother will sue you!

How dare you touch me!
She'll sue all of you!

Let me out of here!
I'll have you fired!

I'm so sorry for the
misunderstanding, Jo.

Consider yourself
officially un-expelled.

And I'll make some calls and
sort things out college-wise.

-
- Yeah!

♪ Gonna live like
it's the end of the world ♪

♪ Gonna party like ♪

♪ Turn it up, turn it up
Mash it up ♪

♪ It ain't the
end of the world ♪

♪ Party like, like
it's the end of the world ♪

♪ We're gonna party like... ♪

I figured at this point,

I might as well go for the
whole high school experience.

♪ 'Cause we got each other
Turn it up ♪

♪ Turn it up, mash it up
It ain't the end of the world ♪

♪ Turn it up, turn it up
Mash it up ♪

♪ It ain't the end
of the world ♪

All right, quiet down,
everybody. Quiet.

Stop your dancing,
stop your fun.
Stop it right now.

Quiet down.

Quieter. Good.

Well, you should all
be very happy to know

that we raised $6,800 for
the Humane Society, huh?

All right, forget it.
Um, I know the announcement

you guys really care about,
so let's get to it.

The Homecoming King is...

- ...Elliot Gold?
- My God, it's you!

- Elliot Gold.
- Go!

- Whoo!
-

Wow. Elliot really
is going to rig

the presidential election
someday, isn't he?

Yep. Just as soon as
the voting goes hi-tech.

-
- Congratulations.

- Thank you.
- Sure.

And your Homecoming Queen...

- ...Abby Hanover.
-

Oh, my God!
I've never won anything!

- Go! You won, go!
-

Yeah, Abby!

You won!
That's so awesome!

- That crown is mine! It's mine!
- Get out of here!

- No, don't reach for me!
-

Get out of here! You're not
allowed on school grounds!

- Get off me!
- Oh, I'm sorry.

Uh,
a little to the right.

- Give me that.
- I'm legally blind.

There.

Here's your Homecoming King
and Queen, let's give it up.

-
- Make some room, let them
have their first dance.

You guys have a good time.
No dirty dancing, I'm watching.

-
-

I have a feeling Elliot wasn't
the one who rigged this vote.

Well, we both know
crowns aren't my thing.

So you dropped
out of the race?

Sometimes, it's not
about winning the race,

it's just about
being a part of it.

Besides...

...I have enough already.

♪ We cry and we live
and we die ♪

♪ Mon cheri
Oh, I'll always love you ♪

♪ Mon cheri
Just a fool for you ♪♪

OK, well,
it's not like we all lived
happily ever after.

Mandi and Nick did get
community service
instead of jail.

And her mom donated a new
library to North Shore,

so Principal Duvall
let her graduate.

But she never
regained her status.

Quinn took over Mandi's role
as lead Plastic.

But we had a deal:
She let the senior class
end their year in peace.

She also wrote an award-winning
article on the "Social
Dynamics of Mean Girls."

Chastity finally
looked up her name, and
joined the Abstinence Club.

And Hope finally braved
her fear of water fountains
and public germs...

♪ Crazy girl ♪

♪ Crazy, crazy, crazy, girl ♪

-
- ...only to catch
a nasty case of swine flu.

From then on,
she swore to overcome
her fears, and, instead,

put her trust in antibiotics
and hot doctors.

Tyler decided to go
to Penn State,

which, by total coincidence,
was only a few hours away
from my school.

As for me, I managed to earn

my Carnegie Mellon tuition
with Sidney's help after all.

The man could truly
sell anything,

even my shop class project.

A birdhouse and
security camera, all in one.

Only $19.99.

Mr. Hanover even compromised
on Abby majoring in art,

so long as she went
to a top college, which
worked out perfectly for me.

- So how does it look?
- Nice crown.

Thanks. I thought it
went with the t-shirt.

So I guess my dad
was right after all.

To win the race,
you have to be in the race.

Sometimes it just takes a
little girl drama to find
out who your friends are.

And, once you have that, you
can survive almost anything...

- ...even high school.
-

♪ I know, I know ♪

♪ Every day you're
getting closer ♪

♪ The time is ticking slow ♪

♪ And I know, I know ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ There's no room
to be impatient ♪

♪ I don't mind waiting ♪

♪ What's your name?
One day you're
gonna know mine ♪

♪ Going on this way... ♪

♪ My mama would say ♪

♪ You're gonna find
the right one ♪

♪ At the right time ♪

♪ It ain't right for me
to know ♪

♪ Who you are
I should have met you first ♪

♪ But that's not
how it works ♪

♪ So I'm giving all control ♪

♪ Hoping, praying
Wishing, waiting ♪

♪ For you ♪

♪ Yes, I know, I know ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ Every day you're
getting closer ♪

♪ The time is ticking slow ♪

♪ And I know, I know ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ There's no room
to be impatient ♪

♪ I don't mind waiting ♪

♪ I know, I know ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ Every day you're
getting closer ♪

♪ The time is ticking slow ♪

♪ And I know, I know ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ There's no room
to be impatient ♪

♪ I don't mind waiting ♪

♪ Wait forever on the line ♪

♪ I'm looking for a sign ♪

♪ A little bit of winds
below these clouds ♪

♪ There is a light ♪

♪ To let me know
that it was all worthwhile ♪

♪ ‘Cause I know, I know ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ Every day you're
getting closer ♪

♪ The time is ticking slow ♪

♪ And I know, I know ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ There's no room
to be impatient ♪

♪ I don't mind waiting ♪

♪ I know, I know ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ Every day you're
getting closer ♪

♪ The time is ticking slow ♪

♪ And I know, I know ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ There's no room
to be impatient ♪

♪ I don't mind waiting ♪♪