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IT'S TRUE: THE GREATER THE VILLAIN, THE MORE HE THRIVES.

KAREL ČAPEK, THE GARDENER'S YEAR

Gardens can be planted in a number of ways.

The best method is to find a gardener to do it.

MAIL

You have new neighbors.

That enough?

Hello.

My name is Hrdlička.

We're newcomers here.

We bought a little house, more like a cottage.

- Hello. - Let me...

Everyone recommends you.

Is it organic?

Don't worry, they told us you only take cash.

Where did I put it?

This should be enough...

Great, thanks. Sorry...

For gardeners, weather lore has an urgent legitimacy.

We certainly believe that "if St. Matthew finds ice, he breaks it."

And if he doesn't, we expect St. Joseph, the celestial axeman, to chop it up.

We know that "if March comes in like a lion, it will go out like a lamb."

And we also believe in the three ice saints,

the spring equinox, St. Swithin's Day, and in other such predictions.

Clearly, people have had bad experiences with the weather since time immemorial.

You should know that despite these bad experiences,

gardeners welcome and usher in spring year after year,

and their very existence testifies to the undying,

miraculous optimism of the human race.

Good morning...

Can I talk to you for a minute?

It won't take long.

Grafting, eh?

What a beautiful view.

It's really beautiful around here.

Thank you.

The palace is in very bad shape.

The new owner is trying hard to preserve it.

But that beautiful, historical, yet completely broken-down property

can only be saved by a timely and comprehensive reconstruction.

And that involves a large financial investment.

Nevertheless, my client is willing to back it,

but only if the surrounding area also undergoes development.

So this is about business

and I'd like to talk to you about it.

Look...

I've been in real estate long enough to assure you

that the amount he's offering is so high

that you'll be able to start over

with modern facilities, new equipment, and maybe even employees.

Not to mention a new house.

I'd just like you to think about it.

No one would offer you more.

April - that's the true and blessed month of the gardener...

PRIVATE PROPERTY UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY PROHIBITED

ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK

The human gardener was created by culture and not by natural evolution.

If he had come from nature he would look different:

He'd have legs like a beetle so he wouldn't have to squat,

and he'd have wings - both for the beauty of it

and also so he could hover over his raised vegetable beds.

Or he could be strapped to a harness and swing over his crops.

Or at least he could have four arms, a cap on his head, and nothing more.

But since the gardener is outwardly adapted as imperfectly as the rest of you,

he has no choice but to show what he can do:

He balances on the toes of one foot,

floats like a czarist ballerina,

straddles a 4-meter width,

treads as lightly as a butterfly or wagtail,

fits on a square inch of soil,

maintains equilibrium against all the laws of inclined bodies,

reaches every height and avoids everything else -

all while trying to hold on to his dignity

so that people don't laugh at him.

That idiot won't let me drive in.

PRIVATE PROPERTY UNAUTHORIZED ENTRY PROHIBITED

So, you're the gardener...

You can drive through but no other cars are allowed.

New owner, new rules.

You can't put up with this.

Go ahead and post your phone number here so people won't have to hunt for you.

I'm sorry, but the sale announcement was posted on the notice board.

We also mentioned it in our newsletter,

so you could have weighed in before the council approved it.

We no longer had a way to finance that ruin of a palace,

and the state refused to manage it.

On top of that, the owner promised that he wouldn't block the road.

After all, he doesn't need it at all.

He has access to the palace from the front, so it doesn't make any sense.

Take it off.

Your pressure is fine.

Your blood work is too... You'll live to be 100.

Hi.

Thanks.

CONSTRUCTION. HEATING. SCAFFOLDING...

Hi...

I was just passing by...

So I thought I'd stop and ask if you'd thought it over.

Look, I understand...

I understand your relationship to the place,

but in my experience everything is for sale.

And sometimes such a sale is highly advantageous.

Give us a call!

Try as he might, no revolution will speed up germination,

and a lilac will not bloom before May...

But I will deliberately not celebrate Labor Day,

but rather the holiday of private property.

For this is my land, literally spattered with my sweat and blood.

For when a man cuts a twig or shoot,

he almost always cuts into his finger,

which is also just a twig or shoot.

A person who has a garden irrevocably becomes a private owner.

Then not just any rose grows on it, but his rose.

Then he doesn't say or even see that the cherries are blooming,

but that his cherries are blooming.

POLICE

Hey.

This is a public access road.

When it's publicly accessible, anyone can use it.

And not you or even the property owner can decide who uses it.

By law, you have to leave it open to traffic.

Does it look like it's closed?

Bye.

I work for a private agency.

Can this be happening in 21st-century Europe?

Hey, if you don't let customers in, you can also be sued for damages.

We sent the new owner an official request to make the road accessible.

His representative replied that we should stop harassing him,

stating that it's private property.

However, it's clear that it's a public access road

in accordance with § 7 subsection 1: the law on surface communications.

According to § 19 of the law on surface communications,

everyone is allowed to use surface communications - all types of roads -

in the usual way and for the purposes they are intended to serve.

So the public must be allowed access to all communications,

including roads on private property.

As I told you.

It's a pity you yourself didn't buy that stretch of road from us a long time ago.

Hey...

Maybe you didn't have the brakes set?

The question is this: Is there more than 10,000 crowns damage?

In other words, is the damage significant in the eyes of the law?

In any case, if you want to report it we have to call the national police.

If you want to report it as a crime, you have to do it with us.

I see that you've diversified your fleet of vehicles, eh?

At least the barrier will stay down and there'll be peace.

As of now, we have no information about the perpetrator.

So it's a criminal complaint against an unknown perpetrator...

What can you tell us about it?

June is the main time for making hay.

And as we know, haymaking is a time of storms.

I can't keep coming here. I have to patrol almost the whole district.

They came to see me too.

But I won't sell...

...if you don't.

Hi.

I was just passing by, so I thought I'd ask if anything's changed.

Did you lose my business card?

The price I quoted isn't final...

The owner is willing to negotiate.

Oh, yeah...

I looked at the old maps and found something interesting:

Your nursery always belonged to the palace.

The stable, the barn,

the steward's house...

Give me a call.

The Road Administration Office has determined that there's been a violation.

That's good news.

The problem is that the Road Office doesn't know who owns the barrier.

The security agency allegedly knows nothing.

The owner of the palace claims he didn't put up the barrier

and didn't hire the agency.

And if I understood correctly,

if the barrier isn't connected to the ground by a solid foundation,

the property owner has no obligation to remove it.

That's right.

But if the Road Office finds out who owns the barrier

and decides on its removal,

then according to its decision the barrier should be removed.

And if even then it isn't removed,

the administrative code stipulates

that we can carry out the decision in another way.

The office would see to the removal at the liable party's expense,

which it would then collect.

It can also impose fines...

And impose them repeatedly.

And in terms of civil law,

I think it'd be appropriate to consider

if usage gives you certain rights, and to what extent.

Then you could consider filing a lawsuit.

And only then, if they did nothing, could it come to the actual removal.

That is, the executor would come and remove the barrier.

Yep.

Report it to the criminal police.

Tell them the names of the people blocked by the barrier

and they'll take their statements.

Just between us...

hire a private security agency.

Get some proper guys and let them fight it out at the barrier.

It's the law of nature...

"The stronger dog gets to fuck."

It's going to be hard to prove...

Couldn't insects have done it?

That's enough.

As far as I can tell, you don't have any security cameras.

Have you thought about getting them?

Okay, we'll write it up as suspicion of a crime by an unknown perpetrator.

Or do you have a suspect in mind?

The canonical law of gardeners says that roses are bud grafted in July.

NURSERY

But the main concern in July is watering and sprinkling the garden.

If the gardener waters with a watering can,

he counts the cans like a motorist counts kilometers.

"Phew," he declares with the pride of a record holder.

"Today I carried 45 cans."

If you only knew what a pleasure it is

when cool water gurgles and murmurs on parched soil,

when in the evening it sparkles on flowers and leaves

overloaded with eager rain.

Then the whole garden exhales with moisture and relief,

just like the sigh of a thirsty pilgrim.

"Aaaah," says the pilgrim wiping the foam from his beard.

"That was a thunderous thirst. Innkeeper, bring me another!"

And the gardener runs for another can to slake that July thirst.

Hello...

It's nice that you relocated.

We don't have to drive so far.

Well?

- How about some strawberries? - Give us a kilo.

- Do you spray them? - Don't worry, he doesn't.

Historic Preservation has received several reports of damage to a cultural monument.

They'll be dealing with the matter.

The Building Department unequivocally asserts that modifications are being made

to the palace without a building permit, and they've assessed a sizable fine.

The Road Administration Office agreed to issue a preliminary measure

to open the road to the public until the matter is definitively resolved.

It will be in effect all day with no restrictions.

Currently, the Road Office is trying to deliver their decision.

So far they're having little success.

The property owner has permanent residence outside the country.

But we're doing what we can.

It's very difficult to prove who did it.

Chemical analysis revealed the presence of a highly toxic herbicide.

But only your fingerprints were on the container.

I want you to know I'm rooting for you. Really.

But don't mess with those people.

You better insure everything.

Greetings!

Just sell it to him.

August is the usual time when the residential gardener

quits his garden of wonders and goes on vacation.

Don't you want to give your husband a talking to?

It usually goes like this:

When the sun's so-called life-giving rays exceed 50°C...

When the grass turns yellow, the leaves on the plants dry up,

and the branches of the trees droop from thirst and heat,

then, as a rule,

the gardener's hose bursts so he can't water.

Or something happens at the water company

and no water flows at all.

Didn't they tell you?

WATER SYSTEM REPAIRS

They're overhauling the water main. It will take a month, maybe longer.

What are you waiting for? Till they kill you?

MOVING VAN

They reported a problem with the water main, so this entire branch was shut off.

We'll arrange for a tank of drinking water as soon as possible.

Otherwise, there's no news from any of the offices.

I'd suggest protecting yourself

against the inactivity of our administrative agencies.

At least we've pushed the relevant agency to resolve things more swiftly.

Would you agree to file a lawsuit?

I'm really sorry about all this.

But when we sold out we had no idea what would happen.

You know I'm just an employee here, right?

From the gardener's perspective,

September is a rewarding and remarkable month.

Bark beetle?

You might think we're not doing anything, but we have nothing to go on.

We'll write it up.

Know this, you unbelievers,

that September is the chosen month for everything that flowers again.

It's the month of the second bloom,

the month of ripening grapes.

Full of deeper meaning,

these are the mysterious advantages of the month of September.

Above all, it's the month when the earth reopens

so that we can plant again.

Now is the time to put into the earth whatever should be established by spring.

What's this? Get lost!

Get lost! Leave the area!

We're from the Historic Preservation Office...

We're here to inspect the property, and they wouldn't let us...

- Leave, this is private property! - ...use the main entrance.

You want me to sick him on you? Is that what you want?

- Tell your employers that this isn't over. - Goodbye!

Settle down now...

Your pressure isn't good.

It could be due to stress.

Look here...

I'd advise you...

...to sell it to them. You'll feel better.

In all honesty, we all will.

Hello?

Okay, we'll sell it to you.

Unfortunately, the situation's changed. The owner is no longer interested.

Just so you know, October is the first spring month.

A month of underground sprouting and germination,

hidden blossoming, and swelling buds.

Among all the months, October is for planting and transplanting.

In early spring, the gardener stands over his beds

as buds begin to peek out here and there,

and he says thoughtfully: "It's a bit bare and empty here,

I'll have to add something." And he goes and does it.

- Hello. - Hi...

The state is completely failing you. Media coverage could help.

We've spoken with some...

some local people and everyone is scared.

We interviewed the mayor and she's scared too.

We thought we could put a GoPro in your bird pens

in order to catch the person who's doing it. Well?

You don't have to answer right away, just think it over.

In the meantime, we'd like to film a little if you don't mind.

Okay... Go ahead.

We're in a onetime greenhouse...

Can I? We're in a onetime greenhouse that was destroyed by an unknown perpetrator.

Can you hear me?

Blink if you can hear me.

Blink twice if you can see me.

You were seriously injured. It was touch and go.

You lost the pulse in your leg.

You have two broken ribs and a dislocated left elbow.

You almost lost your left eye...

We saved the leg. We'll see about the eye.

It's good you have two, right?

Know this, Mr. Gardener, that in these autumn days you can still transplant.

First, the bush or tree is dug around as deeply as possible.

Then it is lifted from beneath with a spade,

whereupon the spade usually breaks in two.

The property owner is no longer my client. Don't contact me again.

I'm going to ask you some questions.

The man who attacked you, do you know what he looks like?

All the complaints and submissions are still under review.

Following the media coverage of your case, the supervisory authorities

began to check into all administrative agencies involved in the matter.

They're looking at it with regard to the time limits imposed by law.

And that wasn't even at our request.

Is there anything we can get you?

No!

Of course, everything is now done.

Brrr, it's freezing!

A person can't even enjoy their garden in winter.

Well, then heat it up for me.

Let's let the garden sleep under a light blanket of snow.

It's good to think about other things.

We have a full table of unread books, so let's get to them.

We don't need to interview you or anything.

Can we just film you lying there?

Let's use a wide-angle static shot.

Handheld.

You don't mind?

How long do you want it?

The officials didn't approve our addition.

So now it's too small for us, isn't it?

How is your husband doing?

Have you gone crazy? Stop that!

God, it burns!

Do you suspect anyone?

For the gardener, not even January is a time of inactivity.

CRIMINAL INVESTIGATOR

An accusation of grievous bodily harm has been made against

an employee of the security agency that was guarding the route.

How is it possible that this man still works for the company?

So far there is insufficient evidence to place the accused in custody.

Aren't you afraid that there could be another attack?

As I say, it hasn't...

In February, another seasonal job involves hunting for the first signs of spring.

The gardener's autumn already begins in March with the first snowdrop that blooms.

I know there are many fine professions, like writing for a newspaper,

voting in parliament, sitting on a board of directors,

or signing official documents.

But as fine and meritorious as all those are,

such professionals don't cut the figure nor have the monumental, well-rounded,

and directly sculptural bearing of the man with a spade.

Sir, when you stand on your vegetable bed,

one foot propped on a spade,

wiping sweat from your brow, and saying "Phew,"

you look just like an allegorical statue.

It would be enough to carefully dig you out

and place you, roots and all, on a pedestal bearing the inscription

"The Triumph of Labor" or "Lord of the Land."

Or... something like that.

Subtitle transltaion by: John Brent