Original subtitles

In late Victorian London lived many detectives

who were the rivals of Sherlock Holmes.

Carne?

Amberley, my dear chap!

How good of you to come.

I was determined to meet you the moment I had your letter.

Did you have a pleasant voyage?

Well, we sweltered in the Red Sea, stifled at Suez,

and suffered a cyclone in the Bay of Biscay.

You must be half-dead.

No, no, not at all.

It provided admirable training

for the worst part of the journey.

The worst?

Yes, 100 interminable minutes from Southampton

on the London & South Western.

Oh, how very droll.

Still, it's grand to have you back.

Oh, I take that you've somewhere to stay?

Yes, I have, thank you.

I've taken the lease of a house sight unseen.

I've sent Belton and some of the servants ahead

to get things ready.

Now, do you have any pressing engagements?

Only this one, my dear chap.

Splendid. You must come there straight along with me.

We'll celebrate my return with a bottle of champagne.

Oh, it's a capital idea.

I want him watched, Fullalove.

Yes, sir.

Nothing against him yet,

but, by jingo, my nostrils always quiver

when there's a bad smell.

And there's a bad egg, if ever I saw one.

- Hmm? - Yes, sir.

The kind of amateur

that brings us professionals into disrepute, eh?

Well, I'm not having it.

First slip he makes, we nail him. Understood?

Yes, sir.

Well, don't just stand there. Get on with it.

Yes, sir.

Mr. bloody Klimo.

Klimo.

You know, every hoarding at Waterloo bore that absurd name.

What is he, a circus clown or something, is he?

There he is again. What is he?

My dear Carne, you've been away too long.

A month ago, we were all asking the same question.

Klimo is a private detective.

Detective?

And a very astute one.

Really?

You have evidence of his astuteness?

Well, I should have thought

that any man who succeeded in attracting attention to himself

in such a way

that half London had been induced to patronizing him

might be described as "astute."

Well, he certainly must have expended a fortune

on advertising.

Is he a good detective?

Do you remember old Buffy?

Buffy Orpington, yes.

Two weeks ago, he was the victim of the most audacious burglary.

Seems the police were getting nowhere.

So, he's called in Klimo.

Oh, well, it'll be interesting to see

if Mr. Klimo lives up to his reputation.

It certainly will.

Well, tell me, how's your delightful wife?

She's as delightful as ever.

She sends you her fondest love.

Ah, dear Kitty.

You know, I can't wait to see her again.

Well, the sooner the better.

She's been squeaking with excitement

ever since she heard you were coming back from India.

Now, Lady Amberley never squeaked in her life.

She's an English rose,

with just enough thorn in her character

to make her the most enchanting woman I know.

Well, I say, that's damned good, but it's not a bit true.

It describes Cordelia much better.

Oh, yes, the Duchess of Wiltshire.

Yes.

You told me in your last letter they've become close friends.

Does that still continue?

They're practically inseparable.

You are wicked, Cordelia.

Am I, darling?

And where did you meet this monster, Kitty?

Two years ago in Venice,

when Arthur and I were staying with the viceroy.

Ohh. Ohh, that's quite enough, Annette.

Fetch the gown.

You mustn't call him a monster.

But why not, darling? You said so yourself.

You said he had a hump on his back as large as Mr. Punch's.

Poor Simon. He can't help his deformity.

Besides, when you look into those fascinating eyes of his,

you forget all about it.

Beauty and the beast.

The next time you see him, Kitty, you must kiss him.

It could change him out of all recognition.

You haven't changed a bit, Carne.

Hmm?

Still have your little toys, I see.

Yes, force of habit, my dear chap.

You know, I find it relaxes the mind.

Oh, by the way, where's this house you've rented?

Uh...Belverton Terrace.

Belverton Terrace?

Yes, Number 3, Belverton Terrace.

Oh, but that's impossible.

Well, it's hardly impossible, my dear chap.

I've signed the lease.

No, no, I don't mean it's impossible.

It's the most extraordinary coincidence.

Oh? In what way?

- Well, Klimo, the detective -- - Yes.

He's your next-door neighbor!

Oh, no.

Isn't it a gorgeous gown?

I never saw anything so lovely.

Wherever did you get it?

Paris, where else?

Chabrolle made it for me.

The man is a genius. You may go, Annette.

And when are you going to wear it?

At our ball on the 4th of June.

It's terribly low-cut.

Won't Freddy be shocked?

Freddy admires my throat and shoulders.

He says that I'm the first duchess for three generations

to provide a suitable setting for the Wiltshire diamonds.

Lucky Freddy.

I must say, Kitty,

I'm vastly intrigued

by your description of this fabulous Mr. Carne.

Am I going to be permitted to meet him?

I say, isn't that jolly?

The whole street, crammed with carriages.

It really is too bad.

Have they all come to see this fellow Klimo, do you know?

Yes, they say it's like this every day.

Well, I shall certainly have something to say

to those confounded estate agents.

I mean, I have no objection to paying a high rent.

I don't regard a private detective, however successful,

as a desirable neighbor.

Yes. Yes, I see what you mean.

You should certainly have been informed.

Still, it makes a lively scene.

If I want lively scenes, I shall entertain my friends here.

Otherwise, I prefer peace and quiet.

- Is the champagne cooled? - Yes, sahib.

Then serve it immediately.

It wants only 15 minutes to noon, sir.

I was getting anxious.

Yes, you're quite right, Belton.

Come along. We must hurry.

You know, half a bottle of champagne,

and Lord Amberley was quite disinclined to go.

A most affable gentleman, if I may say so, sir.

Not your suspicious kind.

No, you're quite right, Belton.

A delightful fellow who would never suspect anyone.

I'm really rather fond of him.

Oh, tomorrow night I am giving a small soiree,

and I hope that Lord and Lady Amberley

will bring along with them the Duchess of Wiltshire.

The Duchess of Wiltshire?

Forgive me, sir, but I'm amazed.

Would her grace condescend

to honor such a function with her presence

when it is given by a bachelor gentleman --

no matter how distinguished --

to whom she has not previously been introduced.

Yes, admirably expressed, Belton.

But the rules of etiquette in high society

will unbend in certain circumstances

and for certain people.

For Mr. Carne.

Yes, indeed, for Mr. Carne.

You see, I'm not merely rich, socially acceptable,

witty, intelligent, a man of taste,

and a connoisseur of the arts.

I'm also deformed, Belton,

and very sensitive of my deformity.

My friends know this.

They know equally well I will never accept invitations

unless I have previously made the acquaintance of that person

within the privacy of my own home.

I am quite certain the Duchess of Wiltshire

will be there tomorrow night,

quite possibly the duke, also.

Oh, come on, Belton, there's a good fellow.

Get this damn thing off, will you?

It's killing me.

You know, you never fail to surprise me, sir.

I've often puzzled my head

as to why you've saddled yourself

with that contrivance --

I mean, letting it hinder your social life the way you do.

Yes, you're quite right, Belton.

There, uh...

There have been occasions

when that contrivance, as you so aptly put it,

did prove a notable handicap

to the furtherance of my relations with the fair sex.

There.

But the die has long since been cast.

There can be no going back.

One should be prepared to make sacrifices

in order to further a noble ambition.

Yes, sir, to attempt to restore the family fortunes

is indeed a noble ambition.

Yes, I believe so...

especially when it's done at the expense

of those so-called friends

who could well have afforded to help when help was needed

but never lifted a finger.

Well, Belton...

...tell me -- how do I look?

Why, if it isn't Mr. Klimo, the famous detective.

You know, Belton, I think you could be right.

Good!

McVITIE: Good afternoon, Mr. Klimo.

And good day to you, Mrs. McVitie.

Well, now, tell me something -- do we have a full house?

Oh, yes.

At least, it's not too bad.

There's a marquis, three baronets,

two knights, and four honorables,

but then there's seven with no titles at all.

Oh, is there, really?

Well, that's very sad for them, isn't it?

Never mind, Mrs. McVitie.

We have to bear in mind they all pay the same fee.

Well, yes, I suppose that's true.

Who shall I send in first?

Well, now, let's see.

I think we ought to have this in order of seniority, don't you?

Let's have this fellow, the Marquis of Orpington.

Ask him to come in.

McVITIE: Yes.

The Marquis of Orpington is already in.

Have you caught my burglars yet?

Thank you, Mrs. McVitie.

Good afternoon to you, my lord.

Oh, good afternoon to you, Klimo.

Have you caught my burglars yet?

Well, now, let's see.

If your lordship would be kind enough to take a seat...

Mm!

...I'll be with you in a moment.

Well?

Ah, yes, Orpington, you said. That's right, yes, yes.

Oh, damn it, man, have you any news?

Aha. Aha. Oh, good! Good.

Yes, one might even say excellent.

You mean you've caught them?

No, no, your lord, I made it quite clear to you

when you first approached me.

The actual, you see, physical apprehension of the criminal

is a job for the police.

- I've not -- - Unh! Unh! Unh! Unh! Unh!

No, but, you see,

by showing them how the crime was committed,

I have been able to lead them to him,

and I have even, in effect,

sometimes recovered the stolen property.

But how do you rate the chances in my case?

Well, you see, at this moment,

I don't really want to venture an opinion.

Oh?

But I can say with absolute certainty

where Scotland Yard went wrong.

And where did Scotland Yard go wrong?

They assumed all along it was the work of a gang.

They said that one man might have entered the house.

He might even have been able to get the swag away by himself,

but he couldn't possibly have made his getaway down Piccadilly

at 1:00 a.m. in the morning

with half a hundredweight of silver plate

jangling on his back

without being seen by someone.

Pretty obvious, I should have thought.

Exactly -- too obvious.

Oh, you mean that Klimo prefers the notion

that one man did the entire job on his own.

He's quite convinced on that score.

Well, then how did he make his getaway?

Very easily.

Klimo's idea is that this fellow put the silver in a sack,

deposited it among the refuse bins

in the mews behind the house,

and there it remained all night.

Now, he returns 7:00 a.m. the next morning,

driving a pony and cart,

in the guise of a rag-and-bone man,

loads up the sack,

and drives away with £5,000 of my family's silver

under the seat,

calling out "any old iron."

I'm sorry, Buffy, but it's so deuced amusing,

the way you tell it.

It's no laughing matter, Amberley.

The fact that Klimo's made Scotland Yard

look like a bunch of amateurs

isn't going to bring back the Orpington silver.

Jove, no.

Makes a fellow think.

Mean to say, people like ourselves,

with decent possessions --

Yeah.

Seems a pity we have to wait until we're robbed

before turning to a clever blighter like Klimo.

Yeah.

By Jove, yes.

Yes, of course. What a marvelous idea.

Prevention being better than cure.

That's what you're suggesting, isn't it, Amberley?

Oh, something of the sort, yes.

Yes, of course you were.

That's very shrewd of you.

Well, I don't follow your argument.

Well, I was thinking of the Wiltshire diamonds, your grace.

Oh, were you, indeed?

Well, they're world-famous.

200 gems perfectly matched, every one flawless.

Has it occurred to your grace

that every jewel thief in both America and Europe

must long to get his hands on them?

Certainly.

That's why they repose

in the deepest vault in the Bank of England.

Yes, emerging only on those special occasions

when the Duchess wishes to wear them.

Yes, of course.

Your grace, I maintain that the risk of theft

is greatest on just those occasions.

Well, there is a risk. I grant you that.

And I'll admit I'm never very easy in my mind

when I know that the stones aren't locked up in the bank,

but our security measures are good, you know, Carne.

We take every reasonable precaution.

Yes, I don't doubt that.

But, your grace, supposing some ruthless criminal

was at this precise moment in time

planning to rob you of your family heirloom.

Do you think that reasonable precautions would be sufficient?

Well...

No, no, of course they wouldn't.

You see, that's where I think

Amberley's idea here was so brilliant.

Now, supposing this Klimo is the genius that everyone says he is.

Wouldn't there be something to be said for employing him

during what I term to be this period of greatest risk?

By Jove, yes, that's a capital idea.

That's exactly what I had in mind.

Yes, of course.

Protection better than cure.

Yes, yes, exactly.

Yes. That's not bad.

Not bad at all.

You know, I think I'll do it.

Yeah. Tell him the Duke of Wiltshire requires his services.

Always assuming that Mr. Klimo will agree.

Who is she?

Tara.

She represents the female principle

of the Buddha of compassion.

I believe you, Mr. Carne,

though I fear your explanation means very little to me.

Now, don't tempt me, your grace.

I warn you -- the slightest encouragement,

and I can grow very tedious on the subject.

She is supposed to have been born from the tears

that Buddha shed for the sorrows of the world.

How touching.

And are we to expect you at our ball on the 4th of June?

If I receive an invitation.

You shall.

Ah, now, this is delightful!

And I can tell you all about this.

It's from the Mathura period, isn't it?

Yes.

The idea is that women could make a tree burst into flower

simply by touching them.

That's an asoka tree.

Absolutely correct. You know, your grace amazes me.

Oh, there's no need to be so amazed, Mr. Carne.

Arthur and Kitty brought me home a present from India

about two years ago.

It's an old casket with the same motif carved on the lid.

It's a very fine example of its kind.

I would dearly long to see it.

Well, so you shall.

It wouldn't be easy in the normal way.

You see, I had it lined

and turned into a jewel box for the Wiltshire diamonds.

So, normally, it's kept in the bank.

But at the moment,

the jeweler is altering one of the clasps on the necklace.

So I do have the casket at home.

Why don't you call on us tomorrow afternoon at 4:00?

Then you can examine the casket at your leisure,

and you can take home your invitation.

Please say you will.

Oh, dear lady, how could I possibly refuse?

So, the evening went well, sir?

Yes, almost too well.

Sir?

Well, I always suspect it

when a situation seems to be playing into my hands too early

in an enterprise.

What about you, Belton?

Did you discover anything?

I went to Belgrave Square, as you instructed, sir,

and the residence to the right of Wiltshire House

is indeed for sale.

Well, good, good.

Well, that will undoubtedly prove useful to us.

You would use it as a means of access to Wiltshire House?

Only as a last resort.

Breaking and entering is for common burglars.

It involves too much risk and too little imagination.

You have another plan, sir?

Yes. Now, tell me --

who are the estate agents for this empty house?

Messrs. Horniblow and Jimson of Piccadilly.

Good. Well, tomorrow morning

I want you to take the train to Newbury.

You will book in at the Jack O' Newbury Hotel

as Mr. James Braithwaite, a retired tea planter.

Now, as soon as you get there,

I want you to write to Messrs. Horniblow and Jimson

on the hotel stationery,

requesting an order to view.

Say you're coming up to town the following morning

and you'll collect the keys from their office.

Now, I want you to get to know that house by heart,

room by room.

Take wax impressions of the keys so we can have duplicates made.

Now, you will return the key to Messrs. Horniblow and Jimson,

saying that you're interested in the property, yes,

but you haven't yet made up your mind

and you'll probably want to view it again.

Is that clear?

Perfectly clear, sir.

Well, Mr. Carne?

It is most curious and extremely beautiful.

I think I can safely say

in all my experience I've never found its equal.

What is it, Dewhurst?

The jeweler, your grace.

He begs me to inform you that he has completed the work.

Ah. Show him in, Dewhurst.

Very good, your grace.

Simon, you're in luck.

Can he see the diamonds, Cordelia?

Yes, of course he may.

Ah, Monsieur Bouchet, let me see.

Avec plaisir, Madame la Duchesse.

Ah, yes, Monsieur Bouchet, very nice.

I'm pleased.

Thank you, Madame.

Dewhurst, call a hansom for Monsieur Bouchet.

Yes, your grace.

Good day, Monsieur Bouchet.

Your servant, ladies.

There you are, Mr. Carne.

The famous Wiltshire diamonds.

Aren't they gorgeous, Simon?

I nearly faint with envy every time I see them.

Well, take them, Mr. Carne.

Tell me what you think.

Well, although I have examined the jewels

of some of the Indian princes,

I am not really an expert on precious stones.

But these are superb, your grace.

Yes, quite superb.

- But cold. -Cold?

Cold?

Yes, you see, for me, gems such as these only really come alive

against the warmth of a woman's skin.

That is how I appreciate them.

Well, he shall have his chance, shan't he, Cordelia?

Yes, yes, indeed he shall,

if Mr. Carne deigns to come to the ball we're giving

on the 4th of June.

I promised you an invitation, Mr. Carne.

Here it is.

I shall expect a formal acceptance, sir.

Dear lady, you need expect no delay on that score.

And since I am so deeply in your debt,

perhaps I dare ask one more favor.

And what is that, Mr. Carne?

Well, greatly as I admire your diamonds,

it is the casket in which they are kept which intrigues me.

Ah.

You see, next month I am addressing The Royal Society

on the Mathuran iconography of Buddhism

and illustrating it with lantern slides.

Now, I would dearly like to include

some slides of your casket.

Is that all? Of course you may.

But then I would require to borrow the casket

in order to photograph it.

Ah.

Ah, well, that does present somewhat of a problem.

It's due back at the bank in an hour's time.

How long would you require?

Oh, a day would suffice.

Well, then, the day of the ball.

Why don't you call in the morning,

when it's delivered from the bank,

and then you can return it again in the evening

when you come back for the ball?

How would that suit you?

Perfectly.

I'm very grateful to your grace.

Hello, my dear.

Oh, didn't know you had guests.

Ah, good evening, Kitty. How are you?

Oh, Carne, yes, I was expecting word from you earlier.

Yes, yes, I do apologize.

The fact is that Klimo was out of town earlier this morning,

and I myself had an appointment later.

But I have spoken with him.

Good. When is he calling?

10:00 tonight.

10:00?

Well, who the devil does he think he is?

I don't receive private detectives at that hour.

Yes, I did make that quite clear to him.

And?

Well, I'm afraid, your grace,

that this Klimo is a bit of an odd character.

He said it was the only time that it was convenient to him

and if it didn't suit your grace, much as he regretted it,

he would be unable to assist you.

The impudent, damn rascal.

Really, Freddy!

Well, how dare he send such a message to me, huh?

Yes, I quite agree, your grace.

It was a monstrous way in which to address a peer of the realm.

Oh, believe me, I shan't mince words with him

when I give him your answer.

Yes, quite so.

My answer?

That you will not be requiring his services.

But I do require them, Carne.

Oh, all right, tell him I'll see him at 10:00.

Confounded impudence.

The asking price for the property is £30,000.

And until I made it clear that money was no object,

Messrs. Horniblow and Jimson were --

Well, not to put too fine a point on it, sir,

they were inclined to look down their noses at me.

Were they?

That was very unwise of Messrs. Horniblow and Jimson.

One day, Belton, we may make them live to regret that.

That would please me greatly, sir.

Yes, nevertheless, you overcame their prejudice,

and you did all I asked.

In every respect, sir.

Wax impressions of the keys?

The duplicates are already made. I have them here, sir.

Oh, splendid. Yes, that's excellent.

Now, the premises itself?

It shares a common wall with Wiltshire House.

It was designed by the same architect,

and is virtually its twin.

I have prepared a floor-by-floor scale plan of the entire house.

Then you've done admirably well, Belton.

Far better, I regret to say, than your master.

You require more information, sir?

No, I've got all the information I need.

It's not information I need now.

It's inspiration.

I've cracked some hard nuts in my time, but -- but this one...

You see, Belton, the case, as I see it, stands thus --

the diamonds will be brought in the casket from the bank

where it reposes on the morning of the ball.

Now, I shall have access to that casket --

without the diamonds, of course --

from the period possibly extending

from 11:00 in the morning until 9:00 at night,

when I have to return them to the duchess.

Now, after the ball,

the diamonds are gonna be put back in the casket,

the casket placed in the safe,

and the butler and one footman

will stand guard over them all night.

You see, to break in to that house

and in to that particular room during the night

would be virtually impossible,

whereas to rob her grace of the diamonds during the dance

would be equally out of the question.

If I might inquire, sir?

Well, go ahead, Belton.

Are you entirely confident, sir,

that we have not set ourselves an impossible task?

Belton, the one thing I am not at this moment is confident.

The casket, sir?

Yes.

Yes, Belton.

I think our one hope lies with that casket, too.

But how are we gonna turn it to our advantage? Well?

The Lord Amberley is here.

Oh, well, ask his lordship to come in at once, will you?

Thank you, Belton. That'll be all.

Very good, sir.

The Lord Amberley!

Forgive my barging in like this.

Oh, my dear fellow, what an unexpected pleasure.

Now, what brings you here so early in the day?

I've just seen Wiltshire at the club.

He's a damn cold fish,

but, by God, I thought he was gonna have an apoplexy.

Oh, really?

Well, he seemed in perfectly good health yesterday

when I saw him.

Oh, it's not his health, Carne. It's his temper.

I've never seen him so angry in my life.

Oh, really?

Well, what was the cause of this outburst?

Your neighbor.

What, Klimo?

Oh, yes, of course. Yes, I remember now.

The duke was frightfully annoyed yesterday

because Klimo said he couldn't visit him

until 10:00 last night.

Oh, that was only the start.

Wiltshire offered Klimo 1,000 guineas

for the night's work,

and Klimo has turned him down flat.

Oh, no, I don't believe it.

It's as true as I'm standing here.

But that's incredible.

I mean, how could a private detective

possibly turn down such a princely reward?

On the grounds of principle, it seems.

Principle? Private detective?

You go too far.

No, no, I mean it.

He pointed out to Wiltshire

that there were 40 servants resident in the house

and that 200 people were coming to the ball.

Oh, he added that this wasn't taking into account

the members of the Viennese orchestra

or a small army of foreign waiters engaged for the evening.

In the circumstances, he said,

no private detective

could possibly guarantee the safety of the diamonds.

It would be dishonest to pretend otherwise.

Confound it.

You know, I have to admit that I begin to admire this man Klimo.

But couldn't he offer any constructive suggestions?

Oh, yes.

He strongly advised Freddy

to approach Chief Superintendent Vyvyan of Scotland Yard

and ask for discreet police protection.

You know, members of the force patrolling the grounds

and surroundings of the house all night.

Well, that seems like common sense to me.

Well, of course it is.

Well, then he saved the duke £1,000.

You ought to be pleased with Klimo, not angry with him.

Oh, you don't know Freddy.

He likes to get his own way, regardless,

and it infuriates him to discover solid virtues

like honesty and common sense in people he despises.

Yes, private detectives, for example.

Oh, just so, my dear chap.

And when Klimo had the audacity to say

that having saved him £1,000 guineas,

it would be a nice gesture if his grace gave it to charity...

Oh, no, he didn't.

Upon my soul,

I'd have given anything to see old Freddy's face.

Yes, I must say I'd have liked to have seen that, too.

You're gonna have another glass of Madeira, are you?

Oh, yes, yes, thanks.

This your latest toy?

Oh, yes.

Yes, I picked it up from a Chinese peddler in the street.

I couldn't resist it.

What's the trick?

Well, it's perfectly simple.

You see, you take a coin.

Now, you put the coin in there, yes?

Now, you press it in, pull it out.

Your coin's gone.

Now, push it in, pull it out.

You've got your coin back. You see?

Push it --

I haven't seen one of those since I was at school.

- May I? - Yes, yes, of course.

That's ingenious, isn't it?

Yes, and so simple, so marvelously simple,

and yet so effective.

Excuse me.

I promised I'd meet Kitty in Bond Street.

Oh, shocking bad form, dropping in unannounced like that.

I'll try not to do it again.

My dear fellow, never stand on ceremony with me.

Otherwise, we won't be friends.

Besides, you'll never realize how welcome you were.

Gentlemen, there is a barb in the side of Scotland Yard.

This barb has a name -- Klimo.

Since he set up in business a month ago,

there have been five major burglaries in London.

In none of these have the thieves been caught,

nor the booty recovered.

Yet in each case, while we have been following up a false scent,

he has come up not only with a plausible explanation

of how the crime was committed,

but one so convincing

that it stands up to the closest scrutiny.

And what of us, gentlemen, the true professionals?

A single individual

is fast making a laughingstock of Scotland Yard.

How?

Ask yourselves that question.

How is it possible for one man to succeed,

where we,

with all the aids of criminal science at our disposal,

have failed?

Lucky guesswork?

Not in a hundred years.

Could it then be, by some faint chance, a matter of prescience?

Prescience. Inspector Fullalove?

- Yes, sir? - What does prescience mean?

Then let me tell you.

It means foreknowledge.

And if Mr. Klimo is so remarkably prescient,

it isn't because he enjoys second sight.

Oh, dear, no.

I think we are dealing with a highly intelligent criminal

who succeeds in making the best of both worlds.

I think that he plans and executes daring robberies

and then, in the guise of a private detective,

extorts fat fees from his victims

by the simple expedient

of telling them how the crime was committed.

Not once, you will notice,

have his efforts succeeded in the thief being brought to book

nor the stolen valuables being recovered.

Tomorrow night, gentlemen,

the Duke of Wiltshire holds a ball

in his residence in Belgrave Square.

The duchess will be wearing the famous Wiltshire diamonds.

I put their worth, at a conservative estimate,

at £100,000.

His grace had a notion of employing Klimo

as a safeguard against the diamonds being stolen

and offered him 1,000 guineas for his services.

I jest not, gentlemen. 1,000 guineas.

And how does Klimo respond to his lordship's munificence?

He says no.

He says the responsibility is too great for one man.

He says the duke should give the money to the police orphanage

and seek the protection of Scotland Yard.

Gentlemen, gentlemen,

whoever heard of such nobility of spirit, such humility,

such Christian self-denial in a private detective?

No one. And for why?

Because there's no such creature.

If Klimo doesn't want the duke's money,

it's because he wants the necklace instead.

Well, he's overreached himself this time.

His grace has taken Klimo's advice.

Tomorrow night, Scotland Yard will be on the scene,

and we shall be ready for any eventuality.

Any eventuality.

- Good morning, Belton. - Good morning, sir.

Well, what news?

As we rightly surmised, sir,

behind the coping

linking the empty residence with Wiltshire House

is a deep, lead-lined culvert for carrying off rainwater.

I reached the window of the butler's room in six paces,

scratched the paintwork near the catch with my penknife,

and returned again, unseen.

Uh-huh. What about footprints?

Owing to the present dry spell, sir,

the bottom of the culvert

is covered with a dry, sooty sediment.

I left an excellent set of prints both going and returning.

Good.

Let's hope there isn't a fall of rain in the next 24 hours.

Unlikely, sir. The barometer continues to rise.

So far, so good.

You will now resume the disguise and character

of Mr. James Braithwaite.

I want you to call on Messrs. Horniblow and Jimson again.

Say that you're now so interested in the property

that you want their keys back.

Do I go to Belgrave Square?

No, you do not.

You take the first train to Newbury.

There you will send a telegram to the agents,

saying that you have retained the keys

but you'll return them to them

when you come up to town in the morning.

In fact, I want you to come back here immediately.

I can't possibly dress for the Wiltshire ball tonight

without you to help me.

And in the morning?

As Mr. James Braithwaite, you will return the keys.

I am still interested in the property?

No, Belton, no.

Your surveyor has discovered dry rot.

So, leaving a somewhat despondent

Messrs. Horniblow and Jimson,

you proceed by hansom cab

to the premises of Mr. Isaac Benz,

the well-known pawnbroker opposite Chelsea Barracks.

Now, you'll ask to see Mr. Benz personally

about the sale of some valuable diamonds.

In fact, Mr. Benz left Southampton two days ago

for a business trip to New York.

Now, no doubt his assistant will do his best to oblige you

in his master's absence,

but you don't want to deal with him.

Then, muttering something about the inconveniences

of having to go to Amsterdam at such short notice,

you depart.

- Is that clear? - As crystal, sir.

You then go to the public convenience in Sloane Square.

Sir?

Yes. Discard your mustache

and leave your top hat and overcoat in the cubicle

and buy yourself a bowler hat from the nearest hatter

and proceed by hansom to Piccadilly,

where you will walk the rest of the way home.

I want you back here by 11:00.

- Is that clear? - Very good, sir.

May I say it seems an admirably thorough arrangement?

Thank you, Belton. You may.

Thank you, sir.

Now, what time is it?

9:00, sir.

Ah, look, you'd better let me finish dressing by myself.

Bring my breakfast in here immediately, will you?

I have to pick up the casket in one hour.

Very good, sir.

- Oh, Belton? - Sir?

How are Mujib and Asif getting on?

They have been working all night, sir.

Oh, good.

And no doubt will have to work all day.

Well, is the word good?

The master shall see for himself if we have labored well.

Well, the proportions seem to be exact.

Yes, excellent.

Well, it looks all right, but will it do the trick?

If the master will deign to use this, he will see for himself.

Oh, yes.

Yes, this is extremely well done.

Excellent.

You are both great craftsmen.

It was you, master, who provided the clue.

What we have done is very simple.

Yes, but so effective.

Now, here's the real test.

You have eight hours.

Can you, in that time,

reproduce the exact mechanism from this box into this casket?

And bear in mind it has to be easy to remove

and impossible to detect.

Assuredly, my lord.

We have overcome the real difficulty.

All we have to do here

is to adjust the lock and fit the spring.

Four hours will suffice.

Yes, good.

So, he bought the boat,

and Fitzhardy put him up for membership

at the Royal Yacht Squadron.

Mr. Simon Carne, your grace.

Oh, thank you, Dewhurst. Oh, come in, Carne.

We were just having a little quiet reunion

before the invasion begins.

Well, I do apologize for arriving so early.

The fact is, I wanted to return the casket in good time.

Mr. Carne, I do hope you got all the photographs you require.

A dozen plates.

I anticipate excellent results.

I'm deeply grateful to your grace.

Here you are, Carne.

May I raise my glass to the two most beautiful women in London?

Hear, hear! To Cordelia and Kitty.

Oh, Carne, you heard how that fellow Klimo let me down?

Yes. Yes, I did,

and I must say I do feel, in some measure, responsible.

Oh, no, that's nonsense, of course not.

No, I confounded his insolence at the time,

but I've changed my mind since.

Oh, yes, he was right to refuse.

It was asking too much of one man.

And now the whole place

is simply swarming with the most dreadful men from Scotland Yard.

Don't exaggerate, my dear.

Just a few men patrolling the grounds against intruders.

And I've permitted two plainclothes officers

inside the house, disguised as servants.

You know, I've been thinking.

Supposing the necklace was stolen

in spite of your precautions.

Oh, that's impossible.

Yes, but for the sake of argument.

A bit embarrassing to watch Scotland Yard

questioning half fashionable London.

I wouldn't allow it to happen. Unthinkable.

But such a priceless possession --

you would be bound to tell the police, surely.

Perhaps so.

But you know something?

I think I'd call in that fellow Klimo first.

Your grace, the first carriages are arriving.

Oh, hell. All right, Dewhurst.

Well, come on, my dear.

We must go forth and meet the fray.

You know, really Freddy simply hates these functions.

He's the most inhospitable man I know.

I'm not inhospitable, just unsociable.

Come on, Kitty.

-Amberley. - Hmm?

Have you ever examined this casket?

I can't say I have, not closely, no.

Oh, it's an exquisite thing.

As far as I'm concerned,

it's just a cozy nest for those fabulous diamonds.

Ohh!

You may go, Annette.

Well, now, wait a minute, my dear.

This is my privilege, huh?

I think the evening went quite beautifully.

As long as you were pleased, my dear.

I was. I am.

Oh, what a pity.

Back they go into darkness for another three whole months.

Quite so.

Not yet, Freddy, not yet.

Why not?

The diamonds, dear. You must lock them away.

Back in a moment, my dear.

Yes, dear.

I see. So far, so good.

Yes, sir.

So, we've two policemen in the house, patrols in the grounds,

and the diamonds are back in the safe.

Yes, sir.

I shan't rest till they're back at the bank...

No, sir.

...or, better still, till we catch him in flagrante.

Where, sir?

In flag-- Klimo, you fool,

because he's going to try for them, Fullalove.

Oh, yes, he's going to try.

What is it, Dewhurst?

The carriage is waiting, your grace.

Good.

Oh, Freddy, Freddy, one last look at them

before they go away for another three months.

I'll be down directly.

Aah!

What do you mean the diamonds are missing?

The duke hasn't informed us.

I only learned quite by chance, sir.

I overheard the butler telling the coachman.

Coachman?

His grace has sent his carriage to fetch Klimo.

Klimo?!

Well, your grace,

I was wondering, you see, before I haste away,

if I could just examine that casket.

Yes, there it is. Empty!

Well, it's impossible.

I can't believe it!

Oh, my poor Cordelia.

Do you know, Amberley, the shock has prostrated her?

You did the right thing, my dear chap.

If anybody can solve this mystery, Klimo can.

Yes, but how the devil can it have happened?

Ah, well, now, your grace,

I think I'm able to tell you how the crime was committed.

There you are. What did I tell you?

Come on, Klimo. Explain.

Oh, now, now, forgive me, Lord Amberley.

You're quite right. Oh, you're a clever lad.

Yes, yes, the knowledge is very useful,

but the important thing here is to save his diamonds.

Speed is of the essence.

I'll report back in two hours.

Ooh, if you summon the police,

they'll probably want to examine the casket.

I'll leave it with your grace.

Thank you.

What an astonishing man.

Oh, for God's sake, Amberley, give me a brandy.

Oh, very kind of you, my dear fellow.

I'm sorry, your grace.

God damn it, Dewhurst. What's the meaning of this?!

Where's Klimo?

How dare you presume to enter my --

Your grace is impeding the course of justice.

Now, look here --

Is Klimo here, or is he not? Answer me, sir.

He's just left.

And has the Wiltshire diamonds with him!

The fellow's mad.

All right, now, calm yourself.

Calm yourself. No need to worry.

I can help you off with your --

- Thank you, Mrs. McVitie. - There you are.

There we are. Oh, just one moment.

I was forgetting one trifling matter.

Now you may let the police in.

As soon as you've let them in, take those around to Mr. Belton.

Tell him to put them in the usual place, will you?

Yes, very well, Mr. Klimo, if you say so.

Yes, I do. Let them in immediately.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir?

In there.

Ah, well, I do believe

it's Superintendent Vyvyan.

What an unexpected pleasure this is.

That'll do, Mr. Klimo.

You can hand back his grace's diamonds now.

Well, where are they?

- Well? - Nothing, sir.

What? But they must be there somewhere.

No, sir.

Then turn the whole place upside down.

Ah, that's a lovely idea.

Then we're gonna waste even more time in the process.

Well, have you any suggestions, Mr. Klimo?

Yes, I have.

You see, your grace,

the entry to Wiltshire House

was affected through the empty premises next door.

Now, had I been Superintendent Vyvyan,

I would have immediately made inquiries

from the estate agents of that empty house,

Messrs. Horniblow and Jimson.

And then I would spread my neck over every pawnbroker in London.

By this time, I think we might have produced results.

Even now it may not be too late.

But I'm not sanguine, your grace.

I fear that you may never see the Wiltshire diamonds again.

Well, men, what have you to say?

I shall continue with my investigations

in my own way, your grace.

And damn well apologize to Mr. Klimo here.

I'm sorry you missed all the fun, Carne.

It's damn bad luck on Wiltshire.

But, my God, you've got a remarkable neighbor.

Yes.

Yes, I must say, as a student of human nature,

he begins to arouse my interest.

But of course, as one can never make the acquaintance

of a private detective,

I'm afraid my curiosity is likely to remain unsatisfied.

Well, there's a way around that, surely.

Oh? What do you suggest, my dear fellow?

Get yourself robbed, Carne.

Hmm?

Get yourself robbed!