All language subtitles for Ghosts.US.2021.S03E02.Man.of.Your.Dreams.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.HEVC-YELLO

I might be a while
if you're waiting

for the shaft
of light, Pete.

Oh, that's okay,
you take your time.

Gives me pleasure
to see you getting pleasure.

Just take it.

[laughs]
Ooh, Jay's new TV arrived

from Amazon Prime.

Didn't he just
order that yesterday?

The modern transport of goods
is truly a marvel.

So much efficiency,
so few horse deaths.

Jay, they're here, you can make
your announcement now.

Okay, here's
the deal, people.

This is for Livings
only, okay?

I need one TV
that isn't dominated

by ghosts
watching trash reality.

Bodybuilder Wives
is not trash.

It's a peek behind the curtain
of seven brave women

and the musclebound men
they love.

Although, Skank Wars...

Sure, that's harder
to defend.

Guys, Jay has been
putting in long hours

planning the restaurant.

He deserves to
relax, kick back,

watch the Knicks lose in 4K.

Good smack talk, babe.

SASAPPIS:
Speaking of the restaurant,

has Jay given
any more thought to my idea

about putting in a pizza oven?

Gas or wood-fired,
I'm not picky,

but, you know,
probably wood-fired.

Sass is asking again
about you buying a pizza oven.

Sorry, Sassarino,

it just doesn't work
with the kitchen layout.

First, tell him
to never call me that again,

and then convey

my deep disappointment about
the oven.

JAY:
So what are we
thinking, babe,

hang it on this wall, right?

Oh, I don't know, I think people

usually put them
above the fireplace.

Sort of a focal point.

What? [laughs]
That's way too high.

You want the TV to be at
eye-level when you're sitting.

It's called
optimal viewing angle.

Oof, that was dripping
with condescension.

That's the attitude
that got Magenta

kicked off of
Skank Wars.

[chuckles] Right,
but if we put it there,

then we'd have the back
of the couch facing the door,

and that's bad feng shui.

PETE:
I got to go with Jay
on this one.

You don't want to be
craning your neck,

and that's coming from a guy
who knows about neck pain.

Agreed. James Madison's
hunting print

was hung several
feet too high.

We could barely
stare at it

for the entire burn
of a tallow candle.

Wow, you guys did not have
a lot to do back then, huh?

Other than
invent democracy?

[clears throat]
Amongst Europeans.

♪ ♪

How are the ghosts
liking the marinara?

Talk of food
remind Thor of Flower.

She also ate food
when alive.

Many times.

- They seem to be enjoying it.
- TREVOR: Well,
he's still struggling.

I feel for the guy,
but she's in a better place.

Any place would be
better than here.

A prisoner in my
ancestral home,

my kitchen reeking
of exotic foods.

It's spaghetti.

So many vowels.

[sighs] I understand
Thor's frustration.

After all, Flower was his
third paramour to be sucked off.

She was?

Oh, that's right,
I keep forgetting.

None of you were around
for Luella or Flat Maria.

Flat Maria?

Until you've seen it,

you can't imagine what a herd of
cattle can do to the human body.

Oh, Jay, this is so sad.

Apparently,
Isaac says

Thor's had three girlfriends,

and they all got sucked off

after dating him.

Aw, poor guy.

Sounds like he's got a
Good Luck Chuck

situation going on.

Good Luck Chuck is a movie
about a guy named Chuck

who slept
with a lot of women.

Flawless premise.

And every woman
that he hooked up with

would marry the next man
that she met.

So, if Jay is correct,

and this is indeed
a Good Luck Chuck situation,

do we believe
that any woman

Thor becomes romantically
entangled with

may end up
getting sucked off?

ISAAC:
Possibly.

[sighs] That poor
Viking bastard.

Interesting.

[snoring]

[up-tempo organ music playing]

ANNOUNCER: Jay Arondekar
at the charity stripe,

game on the line,

to win the championship

and save the world.

Pizza oven.

- What?
- Get a pizza oven.

You want a pizza oven.

You can't live
without a pizza oven.

Shooting two.

[whistle blows]

Yes!

- Whoo!
- Wood-fired!

CROWD [chanting]:
Wood-fired! Wood-fired!

Wood-fired!
Huh?

CROWD:
Wood-fired!

Hey there, Thor.

Am I interrupting
anything?

I thought maybe you could use
some... cheering up.

Not interrupting. Thor
just thinking about emptiness

of universe,
futility of existence,

deliciousness of cod.

Mm.

Poor Thor.

You've been through a lot.

Maybe there's
some way I can...

help you relax.

Oh, yes, that...
very kind.

Mm-hmm. Mm.

I always forget how pungent
that wolf urine is.

Is highest quality.

First squeeze
of dead wolf bladder.

Mm.
Is most coveted.

[chuckles]
So interesting.

[groans]

It is nice.

Don't be afraid
to really get in there.

HETTY:
I believe I'm in as...

deep as I'm
prepared to go.

Question:

what the
H-E-double-hockey-sticks

were you doing in Sam and Jay's
bedroom last night?

What are you talking about?

You thought I was sleeping,
but I wasn't,

'cause of my sleep apnea,

which I assumed I'd get rid of
when I died, but I didn't,

so I'm always a little tired.

SAMANTHA:
Oh, hey, sweetie.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just marking off
where the TV would go,

if, you know, we put it where
Reddit and the Geek Squad

and common sense
say it should go.

- And what are you doing?
- I'm following Samantha
for the day.

It's Wednesday.

Jay, that would mean
the couch goes there,

which is insane.

I don't know,

the couch over there
might look nice.

Oh, the ghosts
are laughing at you.

I was thinking about
switching to Thursdays, but

Wednesday is the day that
Samantha flirts with Kevin,

the water delivery man.

I do not.
What?

Nothing.

So, what is that?

Are you looking up pizza ovens?

Yeah, it was
the strangest thing.

I woke up this morning
absolutely certain

that we should get a pizza oven

- for the restaurant.
- SAMANTHA: I thought you said

it wouldn't fit
with the kitchen layout.

The man's allowed
to change his mind, Sam.

JAY:
I don't know.

I just woke up convinced,

so I'm gonna find a way
to make it work.

You're the chef. [chuckles]

Looks like it's
your lucky day, Sass.

Yeah. Very lucky.

Well,
I have Zoom yoga.

[mocking]: Well,
I have Zoom yoga.

50 bucks says there's not
a single Indian person there.

So, yesterday, Jay says
he doesn't want a pizza oven.

Then you did some weird thing
to him while he slept,

and he just woke up wanting one?

Yeah, pretty cool
coincidence, huh?

What's going on, Sass?

I don't know what you're
talking about.

We are roommates.
I tell you all my secrets.

You know about my Loni Anderson
river rafting fantasy.

- What's your point, Pete?
- The point is, I tell you

everything, and I know there's
something you're not telling me.

And-and if you're doing
something to hurt my Jay...

Would you stop?
Keep your voice down, okay?

I'm not hurting Jay.
Just listen.

It's my ghost power.

Okay? I can subtly
influence Livings

by going into their dreams.
Just don't tell anyone.

Cheese and crackers.
That's incredible.

Holy guacamole.

Would you please stop swearing
cleanly? It's very annoying.

PETE:
It's just, that's one heck
of a ghost power. Cookie Crisp.

I mean, dip my chip, you can
jump into other people's dreams?

Shh! Yes, okay? And no one
knows other than Thor,

who I had to tell because
we were alone together

for many years, and there were
a lot of awkward silences.

So, you can just make people
do whatever you want?

Well, it's not that simple.
I have to gain their trust,

repeatedly show up
in their dreams,

and the person has
to be susceptible.

Luckily, Jay's mind
is like taffy.

Wait, so-so you're, like, always
hanging out with Jay, huh?

- Yeah.
- What-what does he dream about?

Uh, mostly basketball... Cool.

- ...and space travel.
- Love that.

And, sometimes,
he has a dream about Sam

in that, uh,
- Princess Leia bikini.
- Of course he does.

Jay's a real wife guy.

- Hmm.
- But I got to say, I mean,

this doesn't seem ethical, Sass.
I mean, mind controlling people?

Don't you dare
say anything, Pete.

Okay? We're roommates, right?
We keep each other's secrets.

But this affects other people.

I mean, I-I don't think
Sam and Jay

would appreciate
what you're doing.

Well, I know someone
who would appreciate it.

You.

When Jay puts your
favorite camping treat--

s'mores-- on his
restaurant menu.

I can make
that happen,

if you play ball.

Just think about it.

Graham cracker,

chocolate,
and that white stuff

that showed up,
like, 100 years ago.

- Marshmallow.
- Marshmallow.

No! I can't.

Look, the only s'more
I'm interested in

is s'more integrity
around here.

- Ugh. You're so lame.
- Yeah,

that may be true, but at least
I can sleep at night.

Well, I mean, if it
weren't for the apnea,

which, again, is so weird that
that exists in the afterlife.

Mm...

Hey. You doing okay, Trevor?

You look like when Sam and Jay

put parental controls
on the Internet.

I don't think things are
working out with me and Hetty.

Didn't you two
break up?

Oh, right. No, we just
told you all that

so we could sneak around,
which makes the sex hotter.

Child, you two are exhausting.

[scoffs]
I know.

Anyway, I just saw her

trying to seduce Thor.

Wait. What? Our Thor?

"Never learned pronouns" Thor?

Yes. Although, I know it's not
like she's into him for real.

She's just trying
to get sucked off.

Uh-uh. Back up.
Walk me through this.

Okay, Isaac told us
that Flower's actually

the third girlfriend of Thor's
to get sucked off.

Basically, people think
he's like a ticket to heaven.

Interesting.

I mean, it's gross, right?

Using him like that?

Not to mention,
completely rude to me.

Very interesting.

SAMANTHA:
Pete just told me
what you've been up to, Sass.

Are you kidding?

You've been entering
my husband's dreams

to manipulate his thoughts?

Okay, yes, but I really wanted
a pizza oven.

Wait, where's Isaac? I thought
he was shadowing you today?

Yeah, he fell asleep during
child's pose, so I snuck out.

The point is, this is a huge
breach of trust and privacy.

Not to mention, it's creepy.
Just stay out of Jay's head.

I'm sorry. Lesson learned.

- Thank you.
- And you know what?

I'm proud of you, Sam.

What do you mean?

Well, I just think that

another wife, a lesser wife,

might want to use this power
to her own benefit. Like,

I don't know, to win
an ongoing marital dispute.

Did you guys ever decide where
to put the TV, by the way?

What are you saying?

Oh, I think you know
what I'm saying.

And you know where to find me.

Oh, there you are.

Man, I feel refreshed.

Now, down to the desk for
the weekly sorting of the mail.

[singsongy]:
Wednesdays.

[contented sigh]

We need to talk.

Trevor.

Is something troubling you?

Yeah, something's troubling me.

We're secretly hooking up

and you're secretly trying
to hook up with my roommate.

Oh, you're talking about
the Thor thing.

Well, there's nothing
secret about it.

I was most overt,
I left the door open.

We literally can't close doors.

Okay, I get why you're upset.

But if you

truly cared for me,

wouldn't you want me
to get sucked off

by being with your roommate?

Well--In a way,

isn't it you
who's being selfish?

The point is,

I forgive you.

No. No. This?

You and me, is over.

What you did
with Thor was wrong.

And just so you know,
Alberta agrees with me.

Alberta knows about
Thor's magic hammer?

Yeah, and she found your
behavior "very interesting."

- Is that what she said?
- Yeah. Twice.

So...

sorry, sister, but I'm walking
through this door

- and I'm not coming back.
- I've got to go.

SAMANTHA:
Oh, morning, sweetie.

- How'd you sleep?
- Incredible.

Do you know where our tools are?

I did not sleep well.

My tongue literally
slips into my throat.

Which is already
pretty packed real estate.

Why do you need the tools?

I'm going to hang the TV.
I woke up thinking about it

and you know what?
You were right.

- What?
- Really?

Yeah, I mean, who cares about
optimal viewing angle?

You want the TV over the mantle.

No, you don't,
that's what she wants.

I cannot believe you.

Now you're using Sass
to get what you want?

Well, Jay, it was such
a trivial matter.

And not remotely worth
getting worked up about.

But I'm glad it's
behind us now.

You're a bad lady.
A bad, bad lady.

I mean, walking in and seeing
the back of the couch.

I mean, w-what are we, animals?

Right?
Bad lady!

ALBERTA:
You know, I was thinking
about that story

you were telling
the other day.

The one about you
raiding that village

using those big, strong
arms of yours. [laughs]

That's many of Thor's stories.
Can you be more specific?

The one where you ripped a pig
apart using your bare hands.

Do you remember
what type of pig?

Thor? Just the man
I was looking for.

Alberta, mind if I
steal him for a sec?

Actually, we're kind of
in the middle of something.

I bet you are.

Unfortunately, I really must
speak with Thor alone.

Whatever you need to say to Thor
you can say in front of me.

Back off, woman.

Mm. I go first. You owe me.

Your son killed me
and you hid it for a century!

I've been stuck here
longer than you.

If anyone's getting sucked off,
it's gonna be me.

What do you mean,
"sucked off"?

Oh, uh...

You misheard me.

Let's talk about cod.

- Oh, wonderful fish. Flaky.
- Mm.

Enough!

Someone tell Thor
what's going on here.

HETTY:Thor...

we have...

been informed...

that when you date someone,

they tend to get sucked off.

So you just...

using Thor to get to Valhalla?

Preying on Thor's

painful past with Flower,

Luella,

Flat Maria.

My little pancake.
[grunts]

So I need you to use
your power to alert Jay.

Write on the mirror,
send a text message.

I don't want to micromanage,
but he needs to be warned.

Hold up.

This whole time,
Sass has had the ability

to manipulate Livings' dreams?

Yep. And now Sam is getting him

to use it for her own
evil purposes.

I mean, can you believe that?

So, Sass can use his power

to help other people
get what they want?

- Exactly.
- Interesting.

I don't think
it's a good idea.

I mean, we're kind of
pushing our luck here.

Do it or I'll email Jay
and blow up your whole game.

You got this.

[exhales]

The Blorzaks are tracking us.

I want rear shields
to full.
Yes, sir!

Here's your space
report, space boss.

It's exactly what I feared.

That is a lot of space.

Shall we engage
the atomic torpedoes?

Actually, what I think
we need is...

Oh, what was that
thing you wanted?

A Kathy Ireland poster.

She was a Sports Illustrated
swimsuit model. Okay.

The only thing
that can save the ship

is a Kathy Ireland poster.

What?

According to my database,

she's a late 20th century supermodel.

What are you guys doing?

Are you going into
Jay's dreams again?

Pete, go back to sleep, okay?

I'm just helping Trevor.
It's not a big deal.

Pete? Trevor?

What's going on?

Damn it. Dream Jay
is suspicious.

Hey.

You're the pizza ref.

And the old fortune teller
who told me

to hang the TV
over the fireplace.

Chef, the Blorzakian warships--

Not now, Flargon.

Are you...

Are you Sass?

Now he's asking
if I'm Sasappis.

I mean...

[scoffs]

No, I'm not.

Then how did you know
his full name?

Okay, Sam made me do it.

Okay? Sam made me do it

and-and I like the TV
where you wanted it.

[gasps]

You are so busted.

PETE:
You made your bed, Sam.

And now you got to lie in it.

Get it?

Because she's sleeping.

And also guilty
of a deceitful act.

JAY: Hey, sweetheart.
Good morning.

I made you
your favorite frittata.

That's so sweet of you.

There's nothing there.

Because I didn't
make you a frittata.

I lied.

Sucks when you can't trust
your partner, right?

Jay knows, he knows everything.

Yeah, I got that, Sass.

Oh, interesting.
Is your invisible

creepy dream creeper here?

Tell him I tried to warn him.

I-I'm sorry, can
someone catch me up?

PETE: Sass has been
controlling Jay

by entering his dreams,
it's his ghost power.

Seriously? And I get
the fart thing.

Okay, Jay, I'm sorry.
It was very dumb of me.

I only found out about Sass's
ghost power two days ago.

I-I should've told you
right away.

But no, you wanted to win
a stupid argument.

And I don't even
care about the TV.

I care that you
violated my trust.

[sarcastic laugh] But it's not
just you I'm mad at.

He's not mad at me, is he?

I had his back all along.

I got this badge for loyalty.

Oh, no, wait,
that's apple picking.

I do so much stuff
for the ghosts.

Unlike you, I don't
even get to see them.

And now I learn,
all this time,

one ghost had the power to
actually sort of be my friend

and he took that power

and used it to get me
to do even more stuff.

Sam, just please
tell Jay I'm sorry.

Sass says he's sorry.

[laughs]

It's cool.

I guess I just know
where I stand.

Whew. [laughs]
I'm relieved.

Thor?

We owe you an apology.

It was very wrong of us

to try to seduce you
for our own benefit.

The thing is, we were
just jealous of Flower.

Hetty and I
have both had

some very big
suck off-worthy moments.

There's no excuse.

Intimacy is sacred act

between two people
who love each other.

Or between dozens of strangers
at mead-fueled orgy.

You're right,
we're very sorry that we tried

to take advantage of you
at this difficult time.

Thank you. It is difficult.

Flower not just
most adventurous lover,

she also only ghost who ever
really take time to...

listen to Thor.

You know, Thor,

I'd like to hear
the rest of that

"splitting the pig
in half" story.

I also want to hear
about splitting the pig.

You're just saying that.

Damn right we are.

Now, you tell us and we're gonna
listen to every gory detail.

Okay, well,

what a lot of people don't know
is pig has weak spot in spine.

And once you locate spot, well,

you can just rip it in half
just like goat.

[laughs]
Hey, big guy.

Oh, sorry.

I was actually hoping
to catch you alone.

He's wise to the whole
Good Luck Chuck thing, Nancy.

What Good Luck Chuck thing?

I was just waiting
a respectful amount of time

post-Flower, but, uh...

Cards on the table.

I want to climb that tree.

[chuckles]

To the top.[Hetty gasps]

Whew. [grunts]

ANNOUNCER: Arondekar at
the free throw line again,

but this time he's just
sitting sadly on the floor.

What a turn of events.

- Hey, Jay.
- Let me guess.

Hetty wants a mound
of ghost cocaine?

Uh, I mean, if that's something
you could arrange,

I'm sure she wouldn't
turn it down,

but that's not why I'm here.

ANNOUNCER: And now the referee
is sitting down with Arondekar.

This is unprecedented.

I wanted to tell you myself
I'm really sorry, Jay.

I'm never gonna
trick you again.

Partly because now that you
know what I look like,

it won't work,
but mostly because

you don't do that to a friend.

- You want to be friends?
- Yeah.

We had a lot of fun
fighting those Blorzaks.

And if it's not too boring,

maybe we could hang out
once in a while.

I'd like that.

Bring it in.

ANNOUNCER:
He's hugging it out
with the ref.

Jay's opponents are stunned.
One of whom

appears to be his high school
calculus teacher.

Where's your homework, Jay?

[gasps]

Everything okay?

Yeah, babe,
just having a good dream.

And that was Good Luck Chuck.

Hope you all enjoyed, if any
of you are actually in here.

Chuck very lucky.

For in the end,
Chuck find love.

But, alas...

for Thorfinn there will be
no happy ending.

ISAAC:
What's going on?

Why isn't Jay watching
the new TV in the den?

Ugh, they gave up on that.
Too much arguing.

They decided it was better
that no one be happy.

Marriage, am I right?

Hey, please don't say that.
Isaac's engaged.

Marriage is great, Isaac.

Your wife was sleeping
with your best friend.

But I didn't know that.

You're right.
Good point, Pete.

Hey, Jay, what do you say
we put these decorations up?

Halloween is just
around the corner.

Sounds good, babe.

Wait a minute. Halloween.

Remember last year we brought
that super hot maid

back from heaven
with the séance?

Are you saying we should
bring Flower back

from heaven this Halloween?

Can we please have
one normal year?

Yes! This Halloween,

we bring back my girlfriend
from heaven!

Captioning sponsored by CBS

and TOYOTA.

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org