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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,745 --> 00:00:07,920 Samantha, as you know, 2 00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:09,922 Trevor and I are now an official couple. 3 00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:12,751 That's right, Sammy, this beefcake is off the market. 4 00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:14,579 You snooze, you lose. 5 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:15,711 Darn. 6 00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:17,626 Anyway, our social calendar 7 00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,280 is filling up quickly, 8 00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:22,065 so if you and Jay would like to get on the books, 9 00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:23,806 I suggest you act with haste. 10 00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:25,634 This afternoon is spoken for, however, 11 00:00:25,764 --> 00:00:26,896 by me and Nigel. 12 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,115 Oh, it's so fun to have another couple 13 00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:29,638 to do things with now. 14 00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,292 I know. Doing things with other couples 15 00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:32,989 is one of the best things about being a couple. 16 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,123 [chuckles] Thor and Flower also a couple now. 17 00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:37,559 Oh, dear. 18 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:40,866 We are available to do things. 19 00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:43,086 Unfortunately, we have plans that night. Oh! 20 00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,871 But Thor not say specific night. 21 00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:47,308 Without a specific night, 22 00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:48,700 how are we supposed to plan anything? 23 00:00:48,831 --> 00:00:50,050 Oh, she's good.[door opens] 24 00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:51,834 - JAY: I'm home! - Jay! 25 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:53,879 Hey, babe, and I'm guessing three to eight 26 00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,142 invisible people from throughout history. 27 00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,926 SAMANTHA: How was New York? 28 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,754 It was freakin' awesome. It was two days of 29 00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,712 wall-to-wall D with my old crew. 30 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,323 Sounds like pure hell. 31 00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:03,846 It was pure bliss. 32 00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,761 Neglore and Devlin were unconscious, 33 00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:07,154 Florin was out of heals. 34 00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,720 It was just me versus the Dracolich. 35 00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:10,940 I pull out my sword, toss my lucky die, 36 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,811 and what do I roll? Natural 20, baby. 37 00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:15,466 I am so sorry I missed it. 38 00:01:15,597 --> 00:01:18,861 - No, you're not. - No, I'm not. But I did miss you. 39 00:01:18,991 --> 00:01:20,993 [chuckles] I root for them. 40 00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:23,474 It's gonna be a bummer watching them wither and die, 41 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,868 but right now, this is nice. 42 00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:29,611 ♪ ♪ 43 00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:34,703 Nay. Ya-da-da-da! 44 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:36,357 Pete, please get out of the way. 45 00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:37,967 No can do, my friend. As you know, the bathroom 46 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,577 is strictly off limits for ghosts 47 00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,188 when the Living is inside. 48 00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:42,885 That's when someone's, like, in the shower, man. 49 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,843 They're just fixing a leaky pipe. 50 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:46,932 Okay, what you're saying may be within the spirit of the rule, 51 00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,935 but I must insist we follow the letter of the law, 52 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:51,720 because of my ethics, 53 00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,069 and what a doctor once called 54 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,897 a slight personality disorder. 55 00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:57,029 - Did you get the sneakers? - I waited in line 56 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,641 for six hours to get these bad boys. 57 00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:02,731 Behold. 58 00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:05,908 The Wind Storm Ultra Five. 59 00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:08,389 Damn! And Sam didn't see you bring these in? 60 00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:09,781 No, no, no, no, no. I brought 'em in 61 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,479 in my suitcase, and then I hid 'em in this tub. 62 00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,611 She doesn't know anything. 63 00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:15,047 Can I smell 'em? 64 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:16,484 I wouldn't consider you a fellow sneaker head 65 00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,529 if you didn't.[sniffs] 66 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,358 [stairs creaking] 67 00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:32,630 Oh![loud crash] 68 00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:35,720 Dude, are you kidding me?! 69 00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:38,419 I hope that didn't wake up that creepy prom ghost. 70 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:41,509 That is, like, twice in two years, dipwad. 71 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,300 Sweet dreams. 72 00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:51,693 [loud crash] 73 00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:59,440 Okay, what about six Wednesdays from now? 74 00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,746 Mm, no, also booked. 75 00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:02,834 It is unfortunate. 76 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,706 It's frustrating for both of us. 77 00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,316 Hey, losers. 78 00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:08,231 Stephanie, what are you doing up? 79 00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:10,015 Please don't make fun of my knees again. 80 00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:11,408 They're normal knees. 81 00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:14,194 That dork Living woke me up, again. 82 00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,631 So what did I miss since last April? 83 00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:19,155 Oh, well, let's see, Elias came back from hell. 84 00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,461 Samantha got possessed. 85 00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:22,245 We all met Tara Reid. 86 00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:23,986 Ooh, we started a podcast about my murder. 87 00:03:24,116 --> 00:03:25,117 I have son. 88 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:26,771 And I'm gay. 89 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:29,905 What's a podcast? 90 00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:32,255 So, what are we smelling for lunch? 91 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,083 Oh, God. 92 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,172 Stephanie. Hi, Trevor. 93 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:37,782 Aren't you happy to see me? 94 00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:38,870 You know, I've been thinking about you, 95 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,307 like, a lot. 96 00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:42,352 Again, not gonna happen. 97 00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,354 You know, I'm technically 54 years old now. 98 00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:46,051 Yeah, but you're not. 99 00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:47,966 Plus, um... [clears throat] 100 00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,926 Well, really, I'm seeing someone. 101 00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,188 Her? 102 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,364 We were copulating secretly 103 00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,018 for a period of time. 104 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:59,239 Initially stirred to passion on the Lord's birthday. 105 00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:03,025 But now we have come out of the shadows. 106 00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:06,333 Thor also have girlfriend now. [laughs] 107 00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,726 We're going on a double date with Trevor and Hetty 108 00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:10,902 at some unspecified point in the near future. 109 00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:12,556 As soon as we can work it out schedule-wise, yeah. 110 00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:15,429 I'm dating Nigel. It's sort of an adorable story. 111 00:04:15,559 --> 00:04:17,126 He's British, and I killed him. 112 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,650 Wow, so is everyone just pairing up now? 113 00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:21,478 There is some movement in that direction. 114 00:04:21,609 --> 00:04:22,784 But no, not everyone. 115 00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,351 It's his knees, isn't it? 116 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,831 And she went there. Gosh darn it. 117 00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,659 SAMANTHA: Hey, Stephanie. 118 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:29,878 I guess the rumors are true. 119 00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,488 Just came to say hi. 120 00:04:31,619 --> 00:04:32,663 Wait a minute, you mean Stephanie 121 00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:33,969 the creepy chainsaw girl? 122 00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:37,494 I mean the totally rad '80s girl? 123 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:38,974 Did I wake her up? 124 00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:41,977 I did go up to the attic to put my suitcase away. 125 00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:45,633 - Anyway, how are you? - Terrible. 126 00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,635 I just found out about Trevor and Hetty. 127 00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,201 Oh, yeah. 128 00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,507 She's upset that Trevor's dating Hetty. 129 00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:52,640 Trevor is dating Hetty? 130 00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:55,295 Seriously? When were you gonna tell me this? 131 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,949 What would you do with that information, Jay? 132 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,299 I don't know, feel included in the goings-on 133 00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:00,343 of my own home. 134 00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,780 I just really, really like him, 135 00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:05,479 and I don't think he's ever gonna give me a chance. 136 00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,308 That's why they call them crushes. 137 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:11,136 If they were easy, they'd call them something different. 138 00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:13,487 That's from Sixteen Candles. 139 00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:14,923 It's my favorite movie. 140 00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:16,664 Me, too. I've been there. 141 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,143 - I know it hurts. - I know. 142 00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,797 I just need to move on and set my sights 143 00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,495 - on someone else. - You should definitely move on, 144 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:25,020 but I'm not sure who else you could be with. 145 00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:26,543 What does that mean? 146 00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,893 No, it's just that you're a high-schooler, 147 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,592 and all the other ghosts are, you know, adults. 148 00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,551 I am 54 years old, young lady. 149 00:05:34,682 --> 00:05:37,119 I Frenched a guy at a Flock of Seagulls concert. 150 00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,295 I don't know what to tell you. 151 00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:42,429 You tell her to stay positive, okay? You never know. 152 00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:45,257 A nice high school kid might show up, 153 00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,912 and he might crash his car, fly through the windshield... 154 00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:49,261 Jay! 155 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,742 Well, excuse me for being a romantic. 156 00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:56,486 You know what? I think you're right, Sam. 157 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:59,402 I should just make peace with being alone. 158 00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:02,100 Thank you so much 159 00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:04,233 for a very helpful talk. 160 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,409 - You're welcome. - Mm-hmm. 161 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:10,021 Oh, hey, Stephanie. You're awake. 162 00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:11,675 What are you up to? 163 00:06:11,806 --> 00:06:14,417 I am going to take down 164 00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:17,507 every couple here at Woodstone. 165 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,640 If I can't be happy, 166 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,643 - no one can. - Cool. 167 00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:23,774 I'm gonna stick my head in the fridge 168 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:30,607 and smell some cheese. 169 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,740 Listen, Trevor, uh, I am sorry 170 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,698 for getting all mad about you and Hetty. 171 00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:36,091 The truth is I'm happy for you guys. 172 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,701 Thank you, Stephanie. 173 00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,442 It kinda sucks, though, for you, right? 174 00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,792 You guys used to just hook up, 175 00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,925 and now you have to do a bunch of boring boyfriend stuff? 176 00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:45,535 Yikes. 177 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,276 Look, boyfriend stuff isn't boring. 178 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,191 Like today, we're doing a double date. 179 00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:50,845 What are you doing? 180 00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:53,630 We're having tea with Isaac and Nigel. 181 00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:56,372 Wow. That sounds right up your alley. 182 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,940 - Not. - THORFINN: Whoa. 183 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,637 She completely changed meaning of sentence 184 00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:01,638 with one word. 185 00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,292 TREVOR: Well, I like tea. 186 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,642 And next time they said that we can watch basketball. 187 00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,731 I'm sure that'll happen. 188 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:10,081 Not! [laughs] 189 00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:12,388 TREVOR: Whatever. 190 00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:15,130 You're just jealous. 191 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,785 And stop trying to get in my head. 192 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:20,744 - So, a Viking and a hippie. - FLOWER: Mm-hmm. 193 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,485 What do you guys have in common? 194 00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,574 [chuckles] Um... 195 00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:27,229 - we both like Viking stuff. - Mm. 196 00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:30,841 I mean, I'm not huge on Viking stuff. 197 00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:33,017 That's not a promising start. 198 00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:36,064 I like horses. Mm. 199 00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:37,892 Yes! Me, too. 200 00:07:38,022 --> 00:07:40,503 - Very delicious. - Oh, no. 201 00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:43,767 Well, I'll leave you guys to it. 202 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,640 [chuckles] 203 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:50,339 Hey, thanks for coming up here. 204 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,472 I was hoping you could help me move this old quilt 205 00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:53,690 onto my bed. 206 00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,431 Which old quilt? This one? 207 00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,041 Yeah, that one right there. 208 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,695 Looks way more comfortable than the one I have. 209 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,611 Thank you. 210 00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:04,092 SAMANTHA: Wait, what are these? 211 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,355 Oh, I don't know. It's, like, shoes or something. 212 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:10,011 Jay was putting them up here when he woke me up. 213 00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,839 Wait, did you not know about these? 214 00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:14,276 Huh, he bought these two days ago in New York. 215 00:08:14,406 --> 00:08:15,756 And he hid them from you? 216 00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,149 That's so messed up. 217 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,109 No, we don't hide things from each other. 218 00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:22,284 I'm sure he just didn't get around 219 00:08:22,414 --> 00:08:24,025 to telling me yet. 220 00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:26,070 No, yeah, yeah. I'm sure you're right. 221 00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:26,941 Not. 222 00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:34,165 So, Nigel, Isaac was telling me 223 00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:37,647 that you don't care for green tea. 224 00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:39,170 [Nigel laughs] 225 00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:41,869 Getting into controversial topics, I see. 226 00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:43,827 Well, be honest. Don't you grow tired. 227 00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:46,569 Of the smell of English breakfast tea? 228 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,440 In England, we just call it 229 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,051 breakfast tea. 230 00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,880 [laughter] 231 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:56,536 Is this whole double date gonna be 232 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:57,711 tea-related conversation? 233 00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:59,408 It's just, it's been an hour. 234 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,193 And-and that's just a long time to talk 235 00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:04,239 about flavored water. 236 00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:07,982 Well, uh, perhaps it wouldn't feel so long, dearest, 237 00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:10,288 if you attempted to participate. 238 00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,900 - Mm. - Okay. 239 00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:16,207 Well, I guess that I like... Mm-hmm? 240 00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:17,992 ...iced tea. 241 00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:19,776 Have you ever had Snapple? 242 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,127 The Diet Peach was pretty good. 243 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,436 [English accent]: And in a bold move, 244 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,918 Iron Chef Arondekar has chosen the parsnip. 245 00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,789 My God, how's he gonna prepare this? 246 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,097 This guy really needs some friends. 247 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,315 Well, when you have imagination, 248 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:38,708 you don't need friends. 249 00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:41,842 I wore headgear till I was 15. 250 00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:44,192 Hey, honey, I just realized that 251 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:46,934 I never got the chance to hear about the rest of your trip. 252 00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:48,500 Oh, well, it was pretty chill. 253 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,459 Just played D with the old crew. 254 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,070 Oh, did I tell you about the showdown with the Beholder? 255 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,812 No, I didn't mean more D stuff. 256 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,161 You were there for two days. 257 00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:58,989 You must have done something else. 258 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,817 Whoa, whoa, whoa, a Beholder showdown. 259 00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:02,427 Let's not race past that. 260 00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:03,472 Nope, that was pretty much it. 261 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,648 So weird. 262 00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:07,389 Why isn't he telling you about the sneakers? 263 00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:10,914 Look, Jay, the truth is I know what you did in New York. 264 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,090 You do? Yes. 265 00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,223 And it's not even a big deal, I just... 266 00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:17,921 I want you to be able to be honest with me 267 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,445 because that is the kind of couple we are. 268 00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:23,710 Okay, fine, I interviewed for the head chef position 269 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:24,711 at my old restaurant. 270 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,582 What?! 271 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,279 You interviewed for a job there? 272 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,412 You just said you knew, and that it wasn't a big deal. 273 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:33,023 This is so much better than sneakers. 274 00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:35,547 I didn't know, and it is a huge deal. 275 00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:38,028 Okay, before somebody says something they're gonna regret, 276 00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,813 let's get back to the Beholder showdown. 277 00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:41,815 Did it use its Ray of Disintegration? 278 00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,207 A shiny nickel says it did. 279 00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,781 I just can't believe you would interview for a job 280 00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,174 in another city without talking to me. 281 00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,045 Wait, what did you think that I was hiding? 282 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,352 Uh, duh, the sneakers in the attic. 283 00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:59,702 Oh, well, those aren't mine, those are Mark's. 284 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:02,139 He keeps 'em here so that his wife doesn't know 285 00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:03,837 how much he spends on shoes. 286 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,665 I don't even have shoes, 287 00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:08,624 and my clothes are basically a potato sack. 288 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,713 I'm just offering a different perspective. 289 00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:12,193 Whatever. The shoes don't matter. 290 00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:14,543 You were looking for a job in the city. 291 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,849 Are you unhappy here? 292 00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:18,634 Well, not exactly. 293 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,854 You know I can't live - in the city, right? - Yeah. 294 00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,464 It's, like, wall-to-wall ghosts. 295 00:11:22,594 --> 00:11:23,944 Central Park looks like the "Thriller" video. 296 00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:26,337 I wasn't gonna take the job. 297 00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,949 I just wanted to indulge in the fantasy for a minute. 298 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,603 - What fantasy? - I don't know. 299 00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,693 Being at the epicenter of the cooking world again, 300 00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:36,434 and working in a busy restaurant 301 00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:39,133 with people that I can see and hear. 302 00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,656 Ouch. That felt pointed. 303 00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,789 JAY: I'm not unhappy here, 304 00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:45,966 I just-- I miss some things about my old life. 305 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,185 Okay. 306 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,579 Well, what can we do? 307 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,016 I don't think there's anything to do. 308 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,281 Wait, what-what-- What was that? 309 00:11:57,412 --> 00:12:01,111 I wanted fireworks. That was just... 310 00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:02,330 That was depressing. 311 00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,201 What are you talking about? 312 00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:06,073 She's been trying to break everybody up, 313 00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:09,946 except for Pete, who has no one. 314 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,253 Stephanie, why would you do that to us? 315 00:12:12,383 --> 00:12:14,298 Oh, my God, no one understands me! 316 00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:16,431 I hate you. I hate all-- 317 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,433 Stop looking at me. 318 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,394 That is one dramatic middle-aged lady. 319 00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:25,570 TREVOR: Guys, what was I thinking? 320 00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:27,050 I had everything so good with Hetty. 321 00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:29,009 It was literally just sex. 322 00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:32,316 But now we're smelling tea and talking about tea. 323 00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:33,665 And she shushes me whenever I bring up anything 324 00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,015 that happened after 1900. 325 00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:37,844 I hear you. Relationships are tough. 326 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:40,629 What do you know about relationship? 327 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,198 Uh, hello? Remember Jessica? 328 00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:45,939 My ex-girlfriend? 329 00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:48,724 - She lived in a car? - No. 330 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,073 Trevor, I think you're thinking about this 331 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:51,466 all the wrong way, buddy. 332 00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:52,859 I mean, the stuff you're doing now, 333 00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,209 the couples stuff, that's the best part. 334 00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,688 - Really? - Oh, yeah. 335 00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:58,429 When I think back on my time with Carol, 336 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,605 I mean, those are the moments that really stand out. 337 00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:03,695 You know, it's that trip to the lamp store, 338 00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:07,003 or those long breakfasts where you 339 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:10,267 sit there reading your separate papers. 340 00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:13,009 And then she glares at you for laughing out loud at Ziggy, 341 00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,142 which you know bothers her, but you can't help yourself. 342 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,491 It's Ziggy! 343 00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,800 The point is, this is the good stuff, buddy. 344 00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,802 Soak it in. 345 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,542 That was so bleak. 346 00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:28,677 Yeah. Thor rattled. 347 00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,377 She lived in a RAV4. 348 00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:35,379 It was just a couple weeks ago, Thor. 349 00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,990 I know you remember. 350 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,210 Very sad, Sass make up girlfriend. 351 00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:46,042 So, that was fun today with your new beau. 352 00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:48,392 [shudders] Yes, it was a delight. 353 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:49,741 We should do it again soon. 354 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,092 Not that soon, though. 355 00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,050 It's just we want to space out the fun. 356 00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:57,140 Oh, drop the niceties. Trevor was a disaster. 357 00:13:57,271 --> 00:14:00,491 He had no opinions about tea. 358 00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:03,233 His knowledge of steam engines was rudimentary at best. 359 00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:05,061 It wasn't that bad.[scoffs] 360 00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,629 Is it really that difficult to carry one's weight 361 00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:09,065 at a social function? 362 00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:11,415 I mean, Elias was a syphilitic philanderer, 363 00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,853 but that man sparkled at a dinner party. 364 00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:16,072 He could drink anyone under the table with class, 365 00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:18,248 and vomit most discreetly. 366 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,860 Things were simpler before, when our union was purely carnal. 367 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:25,255 But now... what can I do? 368 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,692 - Can't go back. - During tea, 369 00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:29,259 did either of you... 370 00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:32,001 Feel his genitals were on display? Yeah. 371 00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,351 I wish I could say you get used to it. 372 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,267 You don't. 373 00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:39,704 [door opens, closes] 374 00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:42,403 Hey, Sam, I'm here for the shoes. 375 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,274 Oh, yeah, sorry about that, Mark. 376 00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:47,625 I just don't want people going - in and out of the attic. - Why? 377 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,323 Oh, that is a fair question. 378 00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,979 Um, there's a rare owl that's nesting there. 379 00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:54,502 We don't like to disturb it. 380 00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:57,026 Oh, I didn't know about this owl. 381 00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:58,462 I love owls. 382 00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,073 Odin has pet owl. 383 00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:01,683 Really? 384 00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,380 Maybe that's a thing we have in common. 385 00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:07,602 Yes. Thor and Flower both familiar with owls. [laughs] 386 00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:11,736 Is definitely basis for entire relationship. Hmm? 387 00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:13,173 There's gotta be another place on this giant property 388 00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:14,565 I could stash these shoes. 389 00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:18,613 How about that barn out back? 390 00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:20,267 You want to put your expensive sneakers 391 00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,095 in some dilapidated old barn? 392 00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,835 Yeah, it's old, but it's got good bones. 393 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,707 And it's actually got a solid roof to it. 394 00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,317 ALBERTA: Ooh, hold on. 395 00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,406 I know my girl. Her wheels are turning. 396 00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:30,930 Guys, I have an idea. 397 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,453 It's, uh, it's just me. 398 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,455 Right. I mean guy... 399 00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:38,850 My guy, my man, my-my dude. 400 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,984 My man Mark. Marky-Mark. 401 00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:44,595 [chuckles weakly] 402 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,597 It never gets less painful to watch. 403 00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:48,991 JAY: Now will you tell me what we're doing 404 00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:50,253 out here in the barn? 405 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:54,040 So, after our little talk earlier, 406 00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:56,129 everything you said was true. 407 00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:57,826 I can't ever go back to the city. 408 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,699 She got a lot of parking tickets. Ah. 409 00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:03,049 So why don't we bring the New York City 410 00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:04,528 food scene to us? 411 00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,313 It'll be like that baseball movie you love. 412 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,489 Major League II? No. 413 00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:10,273 Major League one? The Sandlot? No. 414 00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,579 Bull Durham? Moneyball? 415 00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:12,754 The Natural? Barbarella! 416 00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:14,756 - Just stop guessing. - BOTH: Oh. 417 00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:17,715 "If you build it, they will come." 418 00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,717 Field of Dreams. Field of Dreams. 419 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:22,198 So this is why I brought you out here. 420 00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:25,810 Because this could be your cornfield. 421 00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:28,639 [wings flutter] 422 00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:31,947 It could be a restaurant, a destination restaurant. 423 00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:35,995 Are you saying this could be our Blue Hill at Stone Barns? 424 00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:37,866 A destination restaurant could be a big draw 425 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,781 for the B and B. 426 00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:42,697 Oh, also, a butter churn. People love activities. 427 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:45,221 Mark could help us transform the space. 428 00:16:45,352 --> 00:16:47,006 Yeah, I mean, it all sounds great, 429 00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:49,095 but we don't really have the money for that. 430 00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:52,402 You do if your contractor is your business partner. 431 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:55,536 Hold on. Mark's gonna be around all the time 432 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:58,408 being best friends with Jay, getting into shenanigans? 433 00:16:58,539 --> 00:16:59,888 Don't love that. 434 00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:06,329 Although I am glad that Sam and Jay worked things out. 435 00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,201 And now they're stronger than ever. 436 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:11,378 Just like me and Thor, who love owls. 437 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,424 Oh, thank you, Sam. 438 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:17,297 Now I can tell you that half those sneakers are mine. 439 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:20,300 They're investment pieces. 440 00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:25,044 See? The shenanigans are already starting. 441 00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:27,698 SAM: Hey, Stephanie... 442 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:30,179 Yeah, they already told me, okay? 443 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:31,441 You and Jay are totally fine. 444 00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:32,877 Are you here to gloat? 445 00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:35,010 No, I'm here to thank you. 446 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,838 You made us work through something, 447 00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:39,058 and we are stronger - because of it. - Good for you. 448 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:40,885 I'll just be over here alone for eternity 449 00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:42,844 because I died on prom night, 450 00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:45,499 and there is not a single other teenage ghost on the property. 451 00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:48,154 Wait a minute, you've never met Ralph? 452 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,025 Who's Ralph? 453 00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:53,115 Hey, Ralph, show yourself. 454 00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:55,248 I got someone who wants to meet you. 455 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,863 RALPH: H-Hi. 456 00:18:01,993 --> 00:18:05,258 I'm-I'm Ralph. Ew. 457 00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:06,868 SAMANTHA: What's wrong? 458 00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:08,783 Look at this dork, he's got glasses on. 459 00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:10,263 What, these? 460 00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:14,876 ["If You Were Here" by Thompson Twins plays] 461 00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:24,364 ♪ But would you suspect... ♪Oh, my God. 462 00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:28,019 You look like that under those? 463 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:33,373 ♪ Do not want a part of this anymore... ♪ 464 00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:40,162 So what kind of music do you like? 465 00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:42,295 I only heard music three times in my life. 466 00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:45,820 Whatever. You're so hot. 467 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:48,127 ♪ And I'll have to spend my time on repair... ♪ 468 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:51,086 My own restaurant? I'm so excited. 469 00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:54,307 I'm so excited for you. 470 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:57,397 Oh, and Mark's gonna be around, like, all the time. 471 00:18:57,527 --> 00:19:00,443 Glad you'll have a real-life friend. 472 00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:05,579 You think Mark really likes me, or is it just business? 473 00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,668 I don't want to talk about Mark anymore. 474 00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,452 Now you know how I feel. 475 00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:17,156 Okay, rock, paper, scissors. I win, we ask Sam 476 00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:18,505 to turn on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? 477 00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:20,768 You win, we watch... what is it? 478 00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:22,596 Find Nemo. 479 00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:26,208 Is story of fish on great journey across the sea. 480 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:27,992 All right. [clears throat] 481 00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,820 One, two, three. Ha ha! 482 00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,387 Rock beats scissors. 483 00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:34,085 [cries out] And axe beats all! 484 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,304 [laughing] 485 00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,654 Darn it, that smarts! 486 00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:39,743 - HETTY: How dare you! - TREVOR: How dare me?! 487 00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:40,831 You're selfish, you're a control freak, 488 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:44,052 and you got all your little old-timey rules. 489 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,185 - What's going on? - Hetty and Trevor are having a huge argument. 490 00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,795 Shh, it's getting good. 491 00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,318 It's like dating my teacher, and not in a hot way. 492 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:51,320 You know what's not hot?! 493 00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:53,627 Displaying one's genitalia at the tea table. 494 00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:56,673 It's because of a hero move![groans] 495 00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:59,285 You know what? I'm done. 496 00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:02,984 That makes two of us. 497 00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:06,117 Stephanie will be most pleased with this 498 00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:07,293 a year from now. 499 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:12,472 But she couldn't stop us. Owls. 500 00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:14,604 Owls. 501 00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,173 Do you think they bought it? 502 00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:20,175 Hook, line and sinker. 503 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,960 Then back into the shadows we go, 504 00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:25,833 where this mismatched travesty belongs. 505 00:20:25,963 --> 00:20:28,575 Now take me, you bare-assed libertine. [moaning] 506 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:38,149 Captioning sponsored by CBS 507 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,240 and TOYOTA. 508 00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:44,330 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 37094

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