All language subtitles for Ghosts.US.(2021).S02E15.A.Date.to.Remember.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.10bit.DDP5.1.x265-YELLO

Missed a comma there, Sam.
Thank you.

SASAPPIS:
I think you're gonna want
an apostrophe there.

I mean, does she not see
the squiggly red line?

Um... (chuckles)

Hello, Flower. It is,
uh, me, Thorfinn.

Uh, could I talk to you
in the other room?

Well, no, 'cause
I'm in this room. Duh.

Thor, we're gonna
find out anything

you have to say anyway,
so just go ahead.

(clearing throat):
Okay, well,

you remember the other day
when you said you would go on

one-on-one date with me?

I was wondering...

if you still want to. Wow.

It's been a long time
since I was on

a regular two-person date.

I used to go on a lot of
three-person dates, some four.

There was one date I don't have
a totally accurate number for,

but it was however many people
could fit in a VW Bus.

Look, Flower,
we don't have to...

She didn't say no, Thor.
She just said she's nervous,

and then overshared about
some sort of road orgy.

There's no way they were all
wearing seat belts.

No. Thor...

I'm ready.

It's time.

(chuckling):
Okay, well...

I'll pick you up
at your room tonight, uh...

Cool.

See you then.
(others chuckle)

That's fantastic.
Congrats, buddy.

Thor been dreaming
of this moment

ever since that
magical day when

Flower get eaten by bear.

Oh, so what do you have planned?

Well, truth is

the only thing Thor know
about dating

is from what I learned
on reality TV.

But Thor can't
take Flower

on hot-air balloon trip

or to private concert
with unknown country music star

whose label also owned
by the network.

You don't need
any of that stuff, Thor.

You can throw her a great date
right here at Woodstone.
Really?

Do others who actually
have success at dating agree?

Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, I know you guys can't eat,
but I could ask Jay

to cook a delicious meal
for you to smell.

That would be amazing.

And I could give you
your very own concert

after dinner. Yes.

A-And I could perform some
one-man improv for you guys.

Absolutely, if time.

We'll play it by ear.

Tonight is gonna be
best first date ever.

(chuckles)

♪ ♪

Isaac, what are you
doing in here?

I'm welcoming Nigel.

He just moved in
to the library.

Well, I've been waiting
for you by the window.

Have you forgotten about
our weekly ponder?

Weekly ponder?
ISAAC: Yes.

Hetty and I meet regularly
to stare out of the window

in the upstairs den and ponder
life's great mysteries.

Why are we here?
What is our purpose?

Do fish have nightmares?
You know, that type of thing.

Well, please,
do not let me keep you.

Are you sure?
The last thing
I would want

is to come between you
and your best friend

for the most special
of traditions.

Well, then it's settled.

Let's go, Isaac.

Although, if I may be so bold,

what if I were to
join the ponder?

Oh, that's interesting.

And yet, there really is
only room for two

to comfortably stare
out that window.

Well, it's lucky
I'm of slender build.

I could insert myself
right between the two of you.

How wonderful.

Indeed.

(Jay laughs)

You want to postpone

our Valentine's dinner date
to instead have me cook

a four-course meal
for two ghosts to smell?

Okay, sounds like
Jay's on board.

Babe, you got to start learning
how to say no to the ghosts.

I know it's a big ask, but
it's really important to Thor.

Well, can't he just do it
another night?

There's some concern
in the ghost community

that Flower could
change her mind.

And to be fair,
we weren't going out

on the actual
Valentine's Day anyway.

Right, because on that night,

I was making food for humans
in exchange for money,

which we're apparently
now using to make

throwaway food
for invisible people.

You can eat the stuff afterwards.

Why did you say "you"
can eat it afterwards?

'Cause Thor has
a very specific menu in mind

which isn't exactly my taste.

Hmm.
He wants to
surprise Flower

with his favorite foods.

He's very proud of his culture.

Okay. What do Vikings eat?

Cod. (chuckles)

Obviously,
and some other things.

Boiled antlers,
rams' testicles, pig heart,

horse because special occasion.

I'll make a list.
I do love cod.

See? (chuckles)
You're gonna love it.

NANCY:
And who's this guy?

Once again,
that's Lord Landingham.

He is the main character
of Bodices Barons.

As I've said
several times now. Right.

Ah, Hetty, just the person
I've been looking for.

I'm hosting a welcome tea
tomorrow night

to properly greet
my new housemates,

and I wanted to extend
an invitation.

Tomorrow night, you say?

Assuming I am not

released from
this endless purgatory...

(laughs) I shall be there.

(chuckles) Splendid.

I will see you then.

Nancy.

(grunts softly)

Well, that was rude.

What was?

He invited me
right in front of you.

Now, he has every reason

to not want something like you
at his formal event,

but still,
he could've waited for you

to crawl back down to your lair
before approaching me.

Ah, no worries.

Captain Crumpet actually
invited me yesterday.

I'm sorry, Nigel invited you

before he invited me,

the lady of the house?

That's what it looks like.

Well, this challenge
shall not go unanswered.

Nigel will rue the day

he courted Hetty Woodstone
as a rival.

Now, who's this bald guy?

Once again,
it is Lord Landingham.

He took his hat off. Oh.

THORFINN:
Can't believe big night
finally here.

Are you sure silverware
properly laid out?

What about those beard braids?
Are they okay?

You're just nervous
'cause this is

your first date ever,
but don't worry.

You're gonna do great.
JAY: Yeah, big guy.

You're amazing, and Flower
has almost no other options.

Yeah. Just stay calm.

You're putting
too much stress on this.

(chuckles) No pressure.

It's just that if date go badly,

Flower will never
want to go out again,

and then things awkward forever,

and then Thor be miserable
for all of eternity

and want to die but unable to.

Uh, babe, I don't think that's
where the salad forks go.

Oh, by the eye
of the All-father,

this is a disaster!

Okay, for your first course,
this is my take

on sour rams' testicles,

which I've paired with
an oaky cab, because why not?

Okay. They are loving the
smell of your testicles.

Happy Valentine's Day to me.

So, what was last
two-person date you have?

And follow-up--

how does this compare?

Um, it was with this guy Michael.

And we just...

hung out and listened to music.

It's not a great idea
to bring up exes.

Right, right.

Thor forget
rules of dating.

Never bring up
other contestants,

and never eat big meal
before fantasy suite.

There you go. (chuckles)

So, Thor,
tell me about this dish.

Did you eat it a lot
when you were alive?

In my family,
we would eat as last meal

before my father
would ride off into battle.

Mm-hmm.
But one spring,

Father did not return.

And we never
eat testicles again.

Oh, Thor.

(sighs) I-I wish
I could try them.

What do they taste like?

Truth is, been so long,

Thor not remember
what they taste like.

This is sad for Thor
that this memory is lost.

(gasps) I have an idea.

Sam could try them

and describe them to us.

(chuckles):
Yes.

Sam, please.

In memory of
my father,

try the testicles.

Uh, Jay, the
ghosts are asking

if you could eat
some of the dish

and describe it to them.

Isn't that something
you could do?

Yeah, any person okay.

What? Women
aren't allowed?

That's so unfair,
but also,

out of respect to
your culture, okay.

Fine. (sighs)

Mm.

Well?
Yeah, it's not great.

Why is it so chewy?

THORFINN:
Mm, yes, all coming
back to Thor.

This is...

very special moment.

Aw, Thor.

I love this side of you.

Ugh! Oh, God.

The cab just
enhances the flavor.

Oh, this is
a disastrous pairing.

♪ When life gets you down ♪

♪ With a nasty surprise ♪

♪ All you need to get by ♪

♪ Are beers, trucks
and wives... ♪

Is cover of
Luke McKewk song.

Very famous unknown
country singer.

Oh.

All right, hello.

I am Pete Martino,
your one-ghost improv troupe.

All I need to get started is
a non-geographical location

and something you wouldn't want
your boss to find out about.

Just yell 'em out, folks.
Oh. Pirate ship,
and I'm stealing staples.

Pirate ship
and stealing staples.

Got it. (clears throat)

Where arrr me staples?

(both laugh)

Impossible.
Had to know suggestion

ahead of time.

You have a gift, Pete.

How much longer?

Oh, Pete says he has
45 minutes in him.

Cool.

Well, this is where I live.

Yes, of course.

I had such a great time, Thor.

All that stuff you planned,

and you didn't mention murder
even once.

Thor saw many openings
but held back.

Can share on second date.

(clears throat) I mean,

if there is second date.
(chuckles)

Sorry.

Thor get ahead of Thorself.

Oh, I think you've got
a pretty good chance.

Thor...

tonight was perfect.

♪ ♪

(electrical buzzing, crackling)

Sorry.
(chuckles)

I'm finally
ready to try

that thing you've been
asking me to do.

Really?
Yes.

But just this once and
just for a few minutes,

we can engage in... pillow talk.

Yes! The walls are
coming down, baby.

Don't read into it.

I still view you largely
as a replacement

for the washing machine.

But matters are on my mind,
and I need an ear to bend.

I'm here. You bend
any part of me you like.

Well, I've been slighted
by Nigel

with a pointedly tardy
invite to his tea party,

and I have to develop a strategy
to put him in his place.

Got it.

Remember the story you told

about Mamie Fish
and how she didn't

invite you to
her daughter's debut,

so you threw a rival party
to ruin it?

(gasps) Yes.
I crushed that little girl.

So do that.

It's a pretty good idea, right?

You are one of the smartest
washing machines

I've ever come across.

TREVOR:
How about I show you
my spin cycle?

HETTY:
Oh, my.

♪ Beers, trucks and wives. ♪

Thorfinn just came in
looking chipper.

Ooh. Did my man
get lucky last night?

(chuckles)
Thorfinn is gentleman,

so I simply say
that date went very well

and I leave out part where
me and Flower make out big-time.

(gasps) They made out.
My man.

Nothing revs up a lady
like some good improv, huh?

Hey, guys.

Hey. Good morning, Flower.

So, last night was
pretty special.

Oh, yeah?
What'd you get up to?

(both laughing)

Very funny.

Why are we laughing?
What's funny?

Do you not remember date?

Ugh, I'm so bad at those.

I want to say...

April 35th?

No, that sounds wrong.

Ah.

She does not remember
perfect night together.

I'm so sorry, Thor.

We redo.

Tonight.

Everything
exactly the same.

Uh... (chuckles) no.

Jay and I actually have
Valentine's Day plans

that we already moved once
for your first date.

Exactly. So you cancel again.

Which is how original
perfect night began.

(laughs)
We're off to great start.

What's happening
to our plans?

I think you know.

So, what do you think?

Isn't tonight also
Nigel's welcome tea?

Girl, I don't want to step
on any toes.

I'm sorry-- toes have
already been stepped upon.

By Nigel.

He is throwing a welcome tea

on the one night
that happens to be

the half birthday of
this house's most beloved ghost?

(chuckling):
That's true.

What was he thinking?

Plus, I heard him calling jazz
American filth.
(gasps)

Let's take this
limey bastard down.

So you're throwing
a competing party

just to spite Nigel?

That sounds like a powder keg
that could explode,

causing tons of
unnecessary drama in the house.

So you're in?

Uh, yeah. Love it.

Thank you for doing this.
(giggles)

I would very much like

for you...

to come to my party.

Oh! Wow.

Thanks, Hetty.

But I'm supposed to go
to Nigel's thing.

Oh, it's making me beg.

THORFINN:
This is not right.

Where last night
sat two candles,

now there's only one.

Does that really matter?

Yes! Everything must
be exactly the same,

because it will lead
to perfect kiss

at the end of perfect night.

Were you wearing that
blouse last night?

Yes.
Hmm.

It's not great color on you, but...

we play the hand
that we are dealt.

We would eat as last meal
before my father

would ride off into battle.

What do they taste like?

(exhales sharply)

(groans)

♪ All you need to get by ♪

♪ Are beers, trucks and wives. ♪

(laughs)
Thank you.

I'll take a non-geographical
location and, uh,

something you wouldn't want
your boss to find out about.

Right. Okay.
I'm going to say pirate ship

and, uh... Oh, boy.

(whispers):
Staples.

Tables?

Staples.

What?

Last night was staples.

I mean, um...
where am I?

Wait, I'm confused.

You actually
remember the date?

But date went so well.

Why did you lie?

Because... (sighs)

I didn't want it
to go well.

I'm sorry.

I got to go.

♪ ♪

Relationships are harrrd.

Sorry, once I fire up this
engine, I can't turn it off.

Okay, okay, I'm here.
The party can begin.

Oh, no.

That was a joke
that was entirely reliant

on the party
having already begun.

Where is everyone?

It appears that
they're elsewhere.

Your entire house
has stood me up.

But why?

(Alberta exclaims)

Oh, another half trip
around the sun.

What a ride. (laughs)

Man, you're really dominating
Nigel's welcome tea.

Mm-hmm.

And what is going on here?

SASAPPIS:
Hetty's throwing
an epic party

on the same night as
Nigel's party, for some reason.

And go.

Hetty, is this true?
Why would you do that?

Nigel said he invited you.

Oh, he did, he did invite me,

after he invited
this basement dweller.

Uh, please send Nigel
my regrets.

So this is revenge
for some perceived slight?

No, that slight was very real.

You have acted most cruelly

toward someone
I care about very much.

And I would not have
expected that

from my supposed best friend.

(gasps)

Isaac, wait.

Okay, can I get a suggestion
of a children's game

and something you wouldn't want
to eat for lunch.

What are you doing?

Saving this party.

Hey, Flower, got a sec?

I don't want to talk
about it, Sam.

Well, Thor is devastated,

and I just canceled two
Valentine's dates in a row

to watch my husband choke
down some rams' balls,

so I think you kind of have to.

(sighs)
What did you mean, you didn't
want the date to go well?

Because, if it went well,

then Thor and I
could end up together,

and it might be really amazing
and we could fall in love.

Those are all good things.

No, Sam, don't you see?

Good things don't last.

And I don't want
to get hurt again.

Not after what happened
with Michael.

Michael? Is that the guy
you mentioned at dinner?

Uh-huh.

You can tell me, Flower.

We met in law school.

You were in law school?

Yeah. Well, not always
in law school.

A lot of times,
we were outdoors,

walking from
one building to another.

Sure.

We were planning a wedding
for after we graduated.

But the universe
had other plans.

♪ Tonight you're mine ♪

♪ Completely ♪

(chuckles)

♪ You give your love ♪

♪ So sweetly... ♪

That was my last
one-on-one date.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't want to feel
that kind of pain again,

so I never allowed myself
to get close to just one person.

Even Ira.

But last night with Thor,

it made me feel like
I could be happy with just him,

and it was scary.

I'm really grateful you
trusted me with all this, but...

I think there's someone else
you might want to share it with.

That weird basement ghost girl.

No.
The mailman?

Thor. Just tell Thor. Right.

I understand if
neither of you

feel like talking
to me right now,

but I owe you both an apology.

Indeed, you do.

The truth is,

I acted the way I did
because I was jealous.

At first, of course,
I was happy

that you and Nigel
had gotten together,

but then he moved in,

and I started to worry that
perhaps I might be left behind.

And I may have
used the slight

as an opportunity
to lash out.

Hetty, I had no idea
you felt that way.

If it makes you feel any better,
I must admit

I was a little threatened
by your closeness with Isaac.

It's hard to be
the significant other

when there's
such a significant... other.

That may be why I issued
a late invitation.

Huh. So it was a snub.

One I deeply regret.

Oh.

Huzzah!

Our wounds are healing. (laughs)

And apply this knowledge
as a salve:

There's enough of old Higgintoot
to go around.

(laughing):
Oh, indeed.

I was being completely silly.
As was I.

Such a détente calls for tea.

I shall summon Sam
to summon Jay.

(laughter)

You don't regret
the late invite.

Half birthday, my ass.

Isaac shall be mine.

Over my dead body.

(both scoff)

Yeah, so that's what's
behind my hang-ups

with a two-person thing.

Very sorry that happened.

That is very hard, but...

also, what I'm hearing is that

Thor so great at dating
that it is scary.

(both laugh)

The thing is, Flower,

Thor cannot die.

Thor already dead. But...

beyond all that,
I know about pain, Flower.

I know about loss.

You recall powerful
testicle story?

Of course.

It was probably the most moving
testicle story I've ever heard.

Thor not saying that
no bad things can ever happen,

but when they do, maybe we could
be there for each other.

Maybe we can.

You saying that you are open
to dating Thor?

Okay. What the hell?

Yes!

Wait.

How will I know
you remember this conversation?

Here's a little
secret, Thor.

I may forget a lot of stuff,

but I always remember
the important things.

Like our date.

And that kiss in the hallway.

You remember?

I could use a refresher.

Okay, well,
we were in the hallway.

I was faced north very sto...

Come here,
you murderous bastard.

Happy Valentine's Day.
(chuckles)

Well, happy six days
after Valentine's Day.

I'm sorry that your favorite
restaurant blacklisted us

after we canceled
twice in a week.

Ah, that's okay.

No, it's not okay.

You were right-- I do need to
say no to the ghosts more often.

Especially when
it's about something

that's important to us.

Thank you.

To our ghost-free dinner.

Uh, Sam, is it
really ghost-free?

I swear. I called in a favor
to guarantee absolute privacy.

Look, Thor, I just need Sam
to light a candle.

It is time for my aromatherapy.

Sorry. Not on the list.

Come on, I just need
a quick channel change.

And I'm just feeling
kind of lonely right now.

I miss Jay.

ALBERTA:
Sam, come on!
Let us in!

SASAPPIS:
Let me smell the lamb!

This is nice.
PETE: Sam!

Uh-huh.
♪ Tonight you're mine ♪

♪ Completely... ♪

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