All language subtitles for Ghosts.US.(2021).S01E09.Albertas.Fan.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.10bit.DDP5.1.x265-YELLO

Let's go, Sam!
We don't have all day!

Okay, you
- literally have eternity.
- Oh, that's right.

Thank you for reminding me
of my endless purgatory.

[door closes]
MARK:
Morning, Sam.

Oh. Hey! Who's this
cute little guy?

This is my son David.
Uh, hope it's okay.

My wife's out of town
for a few days.

Ugh. Why are the good ones
always married?

And alive?

Hurtful.

Well, we're very happy
to have you, David.

Welcome to the team.

Should I put him on my crew?

Think he's too young
to hold a hammer?

Are you mad?
Children under seven

aren't suitable for hard labor.

Pirate!

[gasps]
Pirate?

I was a delegate of
the Second Continental Congress.

- Pirate!
- Damn my ruffled
colonial garb.

Uh, there's
nothing there, buddy,

but I love
your imagination.

And he's off.

[squeals]

Hang on, that kid can see you?

Yeah, it's rare.
But, occasionally,

young children can see ghosts.

Sometimes, when child
has imaginary friend,

is actual ghost.

Other times, kid just crazy.

[chuckles] Once, a sweet
little girl saw my arrow

and called me a
monster. [chuckles]

- Oh.
- But it's okay.

What am I gonna do?
[chuckles]

Cry myself to sleep?

For weeks?

- Got him.
- Oh, great.

Well, we'll be back soon.

We're just gonna take
a quick walk.

- We?
- Yes.

As in the royal we.

Here we go,

and we are going outside.

[scoffs]

♪

How many of those steps
did we get today, Sam?

Only 3,000.

Not pointing any fingers,
but Hetty was really dragging.

Well, excuse me
for dying in heels.

Plus, I did not sleep. You
know I suffer from nerves.

At least when I was alive,
I could take laudanum.

What's laudanum?

It's a simple mixture
of alcohol and morphine.

You should try it, Samantha.

Oh, sure, I'll pick some up
next time I'm at the alchemist.

Well, I didn't always require
such elixirs.

When I was a little girl,

an angel-voiced servant
would sing me to sleep.

Some footman or butler.

His name was Gordon.

I was there, as ghost.

I think you're right.
It may have been Gordon.

I don't know.
We paid them

so we didn't have to
remember their names.

Hey!

There's a strange jalopy
in the driveway.

Who's that?

Land ship!

All right.

We know, baby.[sighs]

We know.

[door closes]
Hey, Sam.

This is
Todd Pearlman,

and he's, uh...
he's some kind of historian.

Historian?

Well, I think we know
where this is going.

Welcome, Todd. What
brings you to our house?

Uh, have you ever heard
of Alberta Haynes?

- What?
- Step aside, Isaac.

The name rings a bell.

Alberta Haynes was a singer,

a wonderful singer.

[chuckles] Tell us
something we don't know.

Believe it
or not,

she died right here
in this house.

Someone died
in this house?

I'm shocked.

TODD:
I'm actually writing a book

on Alberta's life and career.

What? A book about me?

Did you hear that, Isaac?

Well, come on in
and sit down.

Oh, sorry for the mess.

We're in the middle
of turning the house

into a bed-and-breakfast.

Sam, stay on topic. Me.

So, uh, you study singers?

Jazz musicians, yes.

But Alberta is my specialty.

I'm actually the head curator
of the Alberta Haynes Museum

in Altoona, Pennsylvania.

Wow, there's a whole museum
- about you, Alberta.
- Oh!

Died. I just died again.

- Who's the nerd?
- He is historian who's
not here to study Isaac.

Thank you, Thor!

Her life story is
an inspiration.

I mean, born in Tulsa
to Jamaican parents...

Mm, tell it.

As a young woman,
she came to Harlem

during the Great Migration

with nothing
but a dream in her heart

and a boatload of talent.

Can we record this? Whip out
that damn iPhone, Sam.

Oh, she sounds like
an incredible person.

Sam, ask him about my murder.

Oh, no, not
this again.

How exactly did
Alberta die?

Oh, her death is hotly debated
amongst academics.

I mean, the official cause
was a cardiac event,

but, between you and me,

I've always suspected foul play.

[Alberta laughs]

I told you all
I was too important

to die of a heart attack.

Well, if you're excited
about being murdered,

I am excited for you.

Who would want
to kill her?

Mm, it's hard to say.

I mean, someone as...

beautiful and as talented

as Alberta... Oh.

...would attract many rivals.

Genius. Mwah!

This man is a genius.

Oh, Sam, tell Todd

my old trunk's upstairs
if he wants to look at it.

You know,
I-I just remembered something.

Upstairs,

there's this trunk.
It's full of stuff

that seems
like it's from the '20s.

So maybe that
could belong

to this Alberta person.[Alberta cackles]

"This Alberta person"?

Girl, like we ain't besties.

[chuckles]

Ooh, you so good.

[birds chirping]

TODD:
Wow.

Sheet music, letters,

moonshine, a mink scarf.

PETE:
That is

a handsome trunk.[chuckles]

Handsome and heavy.

I remember
lugging that thing over

from the motel
the night I performed.

You didn't
- stay here?
- Oh, no, wasn't allowed,

'cause, you know, racism.

- Ah.
- Well, if it helps,
I don't see color.

Literally. It cost me
several games of Risk.

[chuckles softly]

This is a treasure trove.

I'm gonna need
a good amount of time

to get through these materials.

Well, uh, uh, take
all the time you need, Todd.

I don't want
to impose, but...

would you consider
allowing me to stay the night?

You said this place
was a B&B, correct?

Well, yeah, but it's-it's not
exactly open yet. [chuckles]

Well, I could be
your first guest.

You know what, Todd, uh, the
rooms, they're not really ready.

Uh, we haven't
even started picking out

those tiny little soaps.

I don't need
any of that fancy stuff.

I mean, this room is fine.

Wait, hold up.
This is my room.

I can give you $500.

BOTH: Welcome to
the Woodstone Bed-and-Breakfast.

THORFINN:
Time for afternoon walk!

[chuckles]

Oh, hadn't you heard?
Afternoon walk's been canceled.

- Why?
- Well,

apparently, this
bearded historian fellow

is spending the night.

Samantha and Alberta
are busy tending to him.

Okay, so we go together.
Just the two of us.

You and me? Alone?

- Yes!
- Yes, but th...

that wouldn't be the
walking crew, now would it?

Give us a chance to catch up.
We never talk.

Right. We never do. That is
a true thing you're saying.

I am free, you are free.

We both love walking.

Also true statements.

So really no reason
not to proceed.

Yes, I-I'm having
trouble thinking of one.

Will be fun.

- Okay!
- Yes!

Let's go!

- Together!
- Oh, God.

[laughs]
Friendship!

We have a stranger
in our house,

and-and I think
it feels weird.

Jay, that's sort of what
running a B&B is.

I mean, I understand it,
theoretically.

But now
that-that it's happening,

it just-- it feels weird.

Well, I think
it's gonna be fun.

It's a dry run.

This is a chance for us
to prove to ourselves

we can do this.

You guys
are gonna be great.

The mainthing is

you want to get in good
with the travel agents.

[sighs]
Little secret:
we basically run

the whole hospitality game.

Pete, travel agents
don't really exist anymore.

- What?
- Yeah, people
just kind of book

their own travel now.

But they don't have
the contacts,

the personal relationships.

They don't know who to fax.

Hey. I didn't pack
for an overnight, obviously.[exclaims, groaning]

So, would I be able

to borrow some pajamas?

Sure. Yeah.
Jay can lend you

a T-shirt
and some pajama bottoms.

- What?
- Cool.

Oh, and, also,

if I don't eat
soon...

[exhales]
we're gonna have a problem.

I-I'm hypoglycemic,

so it's kind of urgent.

We will definitely fix
something up for you.

Thanks.

He wants to put
his junk in my jam-jams?

Jay, this is running a B&B.

This is what separates us
from the hotels of the world.

People expect a personal touch.

Something personal's
getting touched all right.

Can you focus? What do we
have that we can cook Todd?

There's nothing in the fridge.
We got to go to the market.

We don't have time
for that. Uh, just...

Here.

Cook him this.

This chicken expires today.

[groans]
Those dates

are just to make you throw
stuff away and buy more.

I wrote a whole article on this.

It's a scam by big chicken.

- Big chicken?
- Yeah. So stop
acting like one

and just cook it.

Damn, girl.
I love that wordplay.

Okay, there's weather
in Chicago

and you need a
same-day change

to a plane ticket--
what do you do?

It's a button on your phone.
I'm sorry, Pete.

Jiminy.

[exhales sharply]

You know, it sort of feel

like Thor doing
all the work in conversation.

I tell seal story.
I tell salmon story.

I tell
other salmon story...

I'm gonna level
with you, Thorfinn.

You and I,

we get along fine,

but we are not

"hang out alone together
outside the group" type friends.

And that's okay.

But we used to be closer.

What are you talking about?

Nothing.
[chuckles]

Nothing at all.
Just...

return home in silence.

That is a good idea.
[exhales]

Sort of like salmon
returning home

to spawning ground
in springtime.

Which reminds me
of third salmon story.

Maybe we can walk
a little faster.

There was a bear
and a badger...

[inhales deeply]

[sighs]

Okay, that's, like, the fifth
time he's sniffed your coat.

Clearly, there's
something off

- about this fellow.
- The man

is an academic.

He's just looking for clues.

See, this is how you connect
with history.

Hey, Todd, uh, we brought you

a fresh towel.

And some
regular-sized soap.

I'm so sorry about that.

Thank you
for that delicious chicken.

- Hmm.
- Did you know

that Alberta's father
was actually a chef, too?

Yeah, her
family lived

above the restaurant
he worked in.

Ah, Daddy could slay
the stove. [chuckles]

He should've had
his own restaurant,

but, again, racism.

Thank you for letting me stay.
It's... [sighs]

it's, like, a six-hour drive

- back to Altoona.
- What made you

choose Altoona as the
location for the museum?

Must be a new music city.

A 21st century
New Orleans, no doubt.

[chuckles]
TODD:
Well, uh, actually,

the museum is in my garage.

ISAAC:
Ah, as all

the best museums are.

Technically, it's...
my mom's garage.

Oh, you live
with your mom.

- That makes sense.
- ALBERTA:
Well, academics

are often underpaid.

[chuckles]
Just wait

till his book comes out.

So when does
your book come out?

Oh, it's planned
for a summer release.

But, really, whenever.
[chuckles]

That's the beauty
of self-publishing.

Bro, that's not even
a real book.

Come on, Todd.

Hey, do you want to see
something from my, uh...

personal Alberta collection?

Yes.

I carry it with me

everywhere.

It's my most prized possession.

Oh, God,
what is this gonna be?

Voilà.

Sorry, what am I
looking at here, Todd?

It's Alberta's toenail.

Oh, hell no! Uh-uh!

TREVOR:
Out of my room.
I want him out of my room.

Why do you have that?

What is wrong with you, Todd?

I got it online.
[breathes heavily]

Really nothing you can't get
on there. [chuckles softly]

- Still, why?
- You know,

in Jurassic Park, when they
clone all those dinosaurs

from just a little bit of blood?

Well, maybe I
could, one day,

make an Alberta from
just a little bit of nail.

Dare to dream, Todd.

Who knows? Maybe
we'd end up together.

No, we would not!

Oh, God.
The hell we would.

Well...
[grunts]

Oh.

[grunts]

Time to hit the shower.

[grunts, exhales]

ALBERTA:
Oh!

My... God!

Oh. [cries]: No!

No. Oh, God.

No. Oh, don't make me
hate my own face.

Todd, you creepy nut.

Well, look at it this way,
from here on out,

all our other guests are
gonna seem normal in comparison.

I don't think I can handle
any other guests after Todd.

I mean, do you really think
we're cut out for this?

Not with that attitude.

Are you serious?

We turned our entire lives
upside down,

and you want to bail
after one difficult guest?

One difficult guest?

That's like saying
Charles Manson

was one difficult neighbor.

Look, he's not dangerous.
He's just weird.

And he's only gonna be here
for another couple hours.

We need to find a better
way to vet our guests.

Oh, like some sort of licensed
go-between, perhaps?

Oh, if he could hear me,

that would have been
a powerful rejoinder.

[groans]

Sam,

I couldn't sleep
a wink last night.

Just haunted by my own face.

Oh, Alberta, I'm
sorry. It's awful.

Nobody is
happy about it.

Good morning,

everyone!

Greetings and salutations.
[chuckles]

Almost nobody.

Alberta,

you're down here.
I could've sworn

I just saw you upstairs.

Ha-ha. I get it, Isaac.

No, I'm sorry, that
was merely your visage

on a 35-year-old
man's back.

My mistake!
[laughing]

I said I get it!

You happy now?

[grunting softly]

THORFINN:
Shh, shh.

Nap time,
little one.

[sighs]

Shh.[yawning]

Is okay.

♪ Sweet little baby

♪ Drift off to sleep

♪ Dream of stabbing Danish men

♪ Laughing while they weep

♪ When you are a warrior

♪ You'll be
strong and tall ♪

♪ You'll pillage

♪ Villages,
slit men's throats ♪

♪ And bash
their heads ♪

♪ Against the wall.

There you go,
Hetty.

There you go.

Yes.

There you go,

David.

Drift off
into the Netherlands,

into the
dream realms,

burning ships,

sieging villages.

Listen, uh,
I was just having fun.

I apologize.

- I'm sorry.
- Yeah, well, I probably
had it coming.

[chuckles softly] Look, I know
I wasn't famous in my day,

but when Todd showed up,
for a second, I thought,

"Wow, the world remembers
Alberta Haynes."

But the truth is, the
only one who remembers me

is some creepy weirdo with
a jar full of toenails.

Child, that's my legacy.

To be fair,
it was just the one toenail.

[chuckles] It's not
just about Todd.

You know, my daddy
couldn't achieve his dreams

because the world held him back.

But he always told me I could.

That's why I wanted
to be a star,

so that his struggle
would have been worth it.

I guess I failed him.

Hi. Uh, have you guys
seen Sam?

It's Todd.
I think he's dying.

[groaning]

[Samantha gasps]
JAY:
Oh, my God.

What is happening?

Did anybody
see anything?

That-That's E. coli face.
That's the chicken.

Can you not?
Call 911.

- PETE:
- What is he
talking about?

- The chicken?
- Look,

we fed him some chicken
that was...

at its expiration date.

Sam, those dates are
on there for a reason.

Guys, he looks
really sick.

If he dies,
he could become a ghost,

and I'm not spending eternity
with my stalker.

Yeah, and I'm not sharing
a room with him.

We're doing
a rotation thing.

W-Wait. Okay, wait.

What percentage of people
who die become ghosts?

It's actually fairly
low. I would say,

mm, like, maybe
five percent?

- That's not that high.
- Are you willing to
take that risk, Sam?

'Cause, remember, he's gonna
become your problem, too.

- What do we do?
- We need to get him
off the property.

Okay! I called an ambulance.
They're on their way.

Jay, you're
not gonna like this,

but we have to drag him
off the property.

JAY:
- What?
- Mm-hmm.

W-We cannot let
him die here.

He could
become a ghost

and we'd be stuck
with him forever.

You mean invisible Todd,
roaming the hallways,

collecting everyone's toenails?
I do not like that.

- None of us do.
- Okay, okay, okay,

but-but how are
the two of us

gonna carry him?[Todd groans]

[clinking, clank]

[exhales][strained grunt]

I did not sign up for this.[grunts]

I-I need a break.
This is too hard.

Uh-uh! Come on!
No breaks!

You'll sleep
when you're dead.

Why do we sleep?

- We just do!
- We just do! Let's go!

Let's move
this body.[vehicle approaching]

Well, he's not technically
a body yet.[siren whoops]

[car doors open, shut]
You're gonna be okay, Todd.
The paramedics are here.

- Hey.
- Why is he out here?

You're not supposed
to move him.

Sorry. We were
just trying to help.

[groaning]

JAY:
You're gonna
be fine, Todd.

Ooh!

I really hope
we didn't kill him.

What?

Nothing.

[door shuts]

It was you.

You sang to me.

Yes. Uh, tried to teach you
to say "Thorfinn,"

but eventually decide
"Gordon" pretty cute.

All these years,

why didn't you say something?

Well, I always assume,
after you die, you remember me.

Excited to say hi,
catch up, old times.

But instead it seem
you more have terror

of Thor and a lot of saying
my pelts smell bad.

You were so sweet to me,

and I have just been awful.

Thor get it.

Pelts do smell.

Used to soak them in wolf urine
to ward off bear.

You were there for me
when no one else was.

Thank you.

Gordon miss Hetty.

Welcome back.

Mmm.

Oh. Yeah, that is
quite pungent.

[sniffles]

I just got off the phone
with the hospital.

He's gonna be okay.

Oh, we didn't kill
our first guest.

How 'bout those Livings,

trying to carry that creepy Todd
out on that blanket?

[laughing]
PETE:
Hey, hey,

who-who am I?

"Oh, no, this is too heavy.

I need to take a nap."

I didn't say that!

-[laughing]: Yes.
- Yes, you did.

"Expiration dates
are a hoax."

Oh, very funny.

Y'all, stop trying to make
me laugh. I'm still upset.

Sam, be honest--
would it help my chances

if I got your face
tattooed on my back? [laughs][laughs]

Please don't do that.
[chuckles]
- PETE:
- Ah. See?

This right here,
this is what it's all about.

These little moments.

These are the things
we're all gonna remember.

[other groaning]
Shut up, Pete...

- You ruined it.
- Womp!

[giggles]

What is going on?

Oh, the ghosts are throwing
down some newfound wisdom.

Oh, boy. Last time
that happened,

our gazebo burned down.

They're saying the moments
you really remember

are the ones you spend
with the people you love.

Look, running the B&B
will be hard,

but at least we get
to do it together.

Remember, when we were back
in the city,

we worked so many hours,
we barely saw each other.

I know. We're really
lucky to get to do this.

And I'm sorry. I just...

I kind of freaked out a little.

Was it the toenail?

It wasn't not
the toenail.

Right.[phone chimes, buzzes]

My buddy Neal just
sent me a link.

Woodstone Mansion
is blowing up.

- Currently?
- ALBERTA:
Oh!

- Run for your lives!
- To the cholera pit!

It's the safest place![whimpering]

Just relax, everybody.

That's
an Internet term.[pants, whimpers]

It sometimes is a good thing.

Oh. Never mind.

Oh, please be a good thing.
Please be a good thing. [sighs]

Oh, my God, it's Todd.

An exciting morning here
at Hudson Valley Memorial,

where a visiting jazz historian
nearly died

after being poisoned.

Can you tell us
what happened?

Well, I was staying at the
Woodstone Bed-and-Breakfast...

- Oh, no.
- We're finished.

...when I discovered
a very old bottle of moonshine.

So I drank from it.

REPORTER:
Why would you do that?

TODD:
I'm a curator and collector
of all things

relating to jazz legend
Alberta Haynes,

and I have reason to believe

that she was the very last
person to drink from it.

And I wanted to put my lips
where hers had been.

Okay.

So it turns out the
bottle had poison in it?

Yes, I spoke to the doctors,
and they informed me

they believe it was strychnine.

I've often assumed
that Alberta was murdered

by a jealous rival.[gasping]

And now I know
I was probably right.

REPORTER:
Back to you, Jerry.[gasping]

You know
what this means?

This means
we didn't almost kill Todd.

Todd almost killed Todd.

You know what this also means?

I was murdered.

Oh, yeah,
look at you.

Hey, babe? Babe,
look at this.

This has, like,
50,000 views already.

W-Wait, 50,000?

What-what do you mean, "views"?

What is views? Is that people?

- Yeah.
- Check out these comments.

A lot of "This guy's
a creep," but, also,

there's a ton of people
just saying really nice things

about Alberta."Just listened
to her album.

"She's incredible.

How did I never hear
of her before?"

Daddy would be proud.

♪ Because I'm famous!

[laughs] Ooh!

Look at them numbers going up!

55,000.

Ooh! 56,000!

Oh, child,
I could watch this all day!

Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Sam, Sam, Sam.

What's the record? Is it me?

[laughs]

Oh, God, Todd, I love you,

you freaky bastard!

You did it!

Ha-ha!

And she's back.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah! Alberta Haynes, honey!

Ma Rainey who?

Billie Holiday where?

[laughing]
Buster Smith what?

It's about Alber-ta Haynes!

Ha-ha!
[whoops]

♪ Sweet little baby,
drift off to sleep ♪

♪ Dream of stabbing
Danish men ♪

♪ Laughing
while they weep. ♪

HETTY:
No, it's creepy at this age.

THORFINN: Thor feel it, too.
Very weird, yeah.