All language subtitles for Fellow Travelers with Tommy DiDario

welcome everybody we are so excited to

be here today I am so happy to be

hanging out with the two of you Matt and

Jonathan thank you again for making time

for us let's hear it one more time for

the

[Applause]

boys so today we are going to dive into

the series of course we're going to show

a couple Clips we're going to do a

little uh fan Q&A and we're going to

just have some fun and talk about

something that means so much to so many

people I don't want to waste a second I

want to Dive Right In H your

performances in this series are so

beautiful they're so powerful and

mesmerizing I was watching this series

with my husband like ripping the couch

the entire time I I I just couldn't

believe the the art that we were so

lucky to watch for the two of you how

did playing these

characters change or affect your sense

of self and identity as two gay

men we're going hard

first

yes

yna go you want to go yeah go um I would

just say the way Hawk sort of raged

Against the Machine was so inspiring to

me the way he found his own personal

freedoms within a society and a world

that told him he didn't deserve them he

shouldn't have them and the sad thing is

that the cost of all that for him was

the the loss of Love um so I think of

real true intimacy openly um that you

know he doesn't really get to start his

a really authentic life until he's 65 um

but I think there's something about his

intelligence and and and and way of kind

of working the system in a way to to

find his own personal freedoms that was

inspiring to me and also um certain

aspects of his life that made me very

grateful for all that we have living in

the times we live in and um because of

people like that who who fought in their

own way uh to give us these rights

today yeah I

um there's so much I think that uh

there's so much that you think you're

going to find out purely on the basis of

being able to tell a story like this

which I you know obviously I haven't

seen before and the invitation to go

back to the 50s and work your way

through to the 80s and to see um the

sort of evolution of of queer culture in

that time and the queer experience in

America Through The Eyes of Hawk and

obviously Tim as well um and I think I

came came away with so much more than I

thought possible which I think is what

I've the way that I definitely am

changed is understanding exactly how you

refer to it as a piece of art I think

when something is that profound in the

experience of making it and you're

following you know Matt's footsteps and

being there to support him and Ron as

well and Robbie Rogers produced it I

just felt like I was it's spoiled me and

possib w't speak from that but for in

the future because you just think it it

might might never be that rich again and

um there's so much about Tim obviously

that in his spirit and um the resilience

of both these characters and their

choices that they make they're in um you

know it's like a part of over like 35

years and there's no right or wrong

there's no right or wrong choice when

you're experiencing that level of

Oppression and constant um you know

crushing of spirit um so to be able

to say goodbye to the story and to

realizing the world that we're living in

now but to experience that I think

unlocked in me I think some some sort of

courage or a sense of self and a sense

of confidence actually which I I I

didn't really have before I don't think

in that specific way and emotionally

both of your characters deal with such

interesting things I mean for you Matt

you're playing a very repressed man and

I imagine that's very different than who

you are right and for you Jonathan

you're playing someone dying of AIDS and

that's something that you're not

familiar with and you have to go to

these places that emotionally just cuts

you open and you put it all out there so

how did playing your respective

characters affect you in that

sense well I just in terms of playing it

I would say it was kind of like a flip

it was the opposite of what you usually

do you normally a character shadower the

darker aspects of themselves or what

they conceal and hide from others and

they sort of lead with their love and

vulnerability and best face forward and

Hawk was sort of the inverse of that um

um because of circumstances in his life

between his father and his family life

and the platoon he lost he's he's so his

intimacy his love the the sweeter

aspects of himself are actually his

shadow self and he leads with a much

more assertive controlled measured

manner so it was sort of the the inverse

of how I usually approach a character

which was really liberating and fun and

new for

me yeah it yeah

also with Matt like you know when

because you read the script and there's

obviously so much on the page but what I

remember now that you know it's amazing

that we can talk about fellow Travelers

again with a bit more you know in uh

with in hindsight but um the the the

level of like you just are so aware of

what Hawk is feeling at every point and

there's no doubt that his love is there

for so many things

and I just think that yeah it's so it's

a performance that I just think

completely smashes it out you you know

anyway and for you emotionally like how

did you how did you go there how did you

get there and play Someone So Sick So

authentically when you haven't walked in

those shoes before but you handled it

with such care and such respect well I

think that's the yeah I mean the the

pressure that I felt going into it is

the the need to pay respects to so many

people that came us and there's

something that happens when I suppose uh

you

know yeah i' yeah the the the San

Francisco Ward scenes which were

obviously in episode 8 we there was a

day where it fell on world AIDS day and

um I think it started with a scene with

Allison Williams amazing um and the

scene where she comes to visit Tim and

then we ended up with you know going

through all of those scenes with Hawk

and um I think what was amazing about

this particularly is that everyone who

was surrounding it everyone who s of was

designing it had and so many people do

have uncles and brothers and loved ones

that they'd lost or that were living

with AIDS or they had looked after their

you know you go into makeup in the

morning and Jordan I remember Jordan

vividly talking about caring for three

of his friends um staying you know

sleeping on the floor of their bedrooms

at night and it was just so real that at

times it was actually you know obviously

overwhelming but as it should be because

I think that exactly is why Ron wanted

to write this story it's why he took

from the book and expanded into the 80s

and I think that was what I was found

fascinating especially telling the story

of of the AIDS and the act up um you

know when they come up at the end is

that you realize there is a you know

it's joining the dots back to the 50s

and about how you know queer the queer

queer Community has dropped uh at

various times in history and it all

stems back

from um sort of horrendous sort of Nar

narratives that are spun in

fear-mongering and so it sort of I don't

know it felt it felt emotional and

upsetting and uh but never for a second

not energizing and um yeah it brought a

joy because it felt that I don't know

there were some sort of angels

surrounding it all it was an atmospheric

change I felt every decade help like I

felt like the texture of the air between

us changed a little bit and I think that

was a Testament to the respect and the

love you brought to the work and in

every time period especially the 80s and

uh our production designer and a crew

who was so respectful of the material it

was like there was like a

real tone on set of

respect uh for the work for the material

and for the generation that we lost and

and all the people whose stories we were

taking part in and you felt like this

sense that like there were just these

voices that kind of wanted to come

through the story because there were so

many obstacles we hit over the course of

pre-production and production and while

we were filming and putting it out and

all these things and then we put it out

and then there was a strike and but

something just wanted to come through in

this story um and all these things that

seemed like obstacles ended up being

just kind of launching pads for us that

helped us out in the end and also it was

like incredibly I mean it doesn't sound

it but it was incredibly fun as well to

me and uh it was you and I think what I

do really when I say uh we've been

spoiled it's like I really do understand

now what like representation means in

terms of um when you do turn up and

you're opposite an actor who without

having to say it you're looking at each

other in these scenes going this is what

we've hoped and wished and thought that

you know we missing or and everyone is

that sort of level of focus that meant

that everyone was so respectful of it

but everyone just like lent in and those

days were long but uh you know with Noah

and gelani as well it's um The Love

Story I think in fellow Travelers that

isn't talked about as much as the one of

friendship um particularly you know

where you know they end up together in

the 80s and and you Marcus and Frankie

going to the West Coast and Tim

following them and I think that's

something that I have taken away from

fellow Travelers like what it actually

means to be on a set where you you're

not you know obviously as a white gay

man and you're still at the peak of

privilege on the pride flag but it made

such a difference to not have to filter

anything or there was so there was so

much energy gained from not having to um

to you know having a shorthand um that

was an emotional tapestry but it's also

hilarious and um so yeah I think that's

that's the sort of energy that was I

found in that I was like I get it now

like I and I've always

understood yeah what Ally should I don't

know something magical about it yeah

there was a real aspect of found family

too and I feel like that bled over into

the cast as well yeah well I think

that's one of the many reasons why this

series is so magical you watch it and

every character feels so connected to

one another I mean the two of you it's

not easy to play a love story over four

decades like let alone in one movie or

one show and over one time period That's

challenging enough to make it really

believable and honest and authentic to

play that over four decades is a

testament to the work that you two have

done to really connect with one another

and it's obvious I mean even in the

Green Room backstage I'm like these guys

are like brothers to each other like

it's so fun to see that relationship

translate you know from onscreen to

offscreen I'm curious to know there are

so many powerful scenes throughout this

series I can think of five right now at

the top of my head but if you had one

scene that you think will forever stay

with you forever will stay with you like

in 30 40 years you'll say that that

scene that

scene yeah what would it

be

um I've started everyone you got to do

this terrible

oh there's so many different ways in

which you could answer that question

I'll start with the lowest common

denominator which is

um no I feel terrible do you know what I

I will say please I will never I will

never forget the Fire

[Laughter]

Island what about Fire Island well

there's so there is a lot in Fire Island

that I'll never forget but I do remember

um I you know obviously it's so

important to the story so we mustn't

laugh but the um obviously the Garden of

Eden

sequence and and it was just it was it

was amazing because you know obviously

you had to show the the cruising area

the um

tick do oh um me me thank

you me me tick dock y' I did not know we

were going in this direction but here we

are we're all friends here it's right um

I yeah and they amazing um actors that

came on to recreate it and it was just

there was just one shot where I think we

just you know obviously it was just like

kind of it was you know I got nervous

Giggles mhm m M yeah um so that I

remember but also there's other really

important I I think every time we

entered a new decade together that first

scene we got I mean I have so many

there's too many to just bring it down

to one but every time I got to see what

Johnny was doing with the character in a

new decade and the temperature change

and kind of seeing the history of the

character that he was bringing in the

time period since the last time I'd seen

him and was always so revelatory to me

and just getting to be present with that

and work off of that was so I don't know

it's just really memorable to me I I'll

never forget the first day we were in

the 70s the first day we were in the 60s

the first day we were in the 80s it's

all kind of seared into me and um it was

just such a partnership from the get-go

and um it was always like a yes s and

getting to see that and then trying to

bring what I was trying to bring and

then feed off that and make it present

and make it happen when they were

filming and not we never talked about it

very much we kind of just tried to make

it happen when the scenes were happening

um there was another one obviously the

last scene of the show no one had told

me that we were going to have real

patches of the AIDS quilt and it was one

of those moments where I was just

leveled just walking onto that set and

and then you have to just get out of

your way as an actor and let it all come

through and trust this history that we'

created of 30 5 years together um and it

was one of the last things we filmed and

just walking and looking at those

squares and and seeing the real Roy con

square and it was just um I mean how

could you ever forget a moment like that

it was it was um Beyond moving and a

profound gift to get to even be in the

same frame as the aid sill so yeah that

that scene was unbelievable it was one

of the most powerful scenes of the

series for sure and what a what a gift

be able to be a part of that and to

honor so many people in the way that the

both of you did and there's a big

initiative to um to have the a quilt

displayed permanently which I think

everyone should get behind yeah

beautiful you know there's a lot of

scenes that I think are more obvious

that stand out but there's also to me

scenes that are smaller that stand out

in different ways and we have a clip of

one um the clip is Hawk and Tim sleeping

if my friends can get that one ready and

we're going to watch it and then I want

to talk about it for a minute because I

think it's very relatable

so so the clip I was talking about we

are going to play this was a different

one but I'm glad we have it I was like

I'm like okay when you said it was

relatable

I but it is a clip I also picked because

I do love how we so clearly see who both

of these characters are in this moment

talk to me about what playing each of

them in this scene meant to you

well you do see them I suppose at their

absolute um at their polar opposit and I

mean it's so painful isn't it for Tim

clearly does believe in God and he

believes in many things and he's

confused by it um and to be opening your

heart to someone who um is shutting you

out and then you know taking you know

taking the piss out of is painful like

it's hard for him but also I think

what's so brilliant about

Hawk his survival technique is to go and

then to shut shut down and I think

that's also exactly what gives their

relationship momentum um as we know sort

of in you know sort of cyclical

relationships I guess but um yeah what

do you think oh we filmed that at 4:00

in the morning do you remember um it was

the last thing we filmed that night I

think it's a scene that really encaps

Ates the Obstacle of their relationship

uh it sort of is all-encompassing in

terms of what they're both struggling

with um and what they can express what

they won't express what they should be

able to express but what they can't for

one reason or another whether that's

self-imposed or societally imposed and

and the real boundaries around Hawk's

heart that are even though he does have

tremendous feelings uh preventing them

from being able to you know have the

love they they should have but also

ultimately I don't know maybe a decision

that keeps them both safer in the long

run who knows you know at that time you

know at the height of the lavender scare

in DC I suppose also Tim has never felt

that pure you know he talks about the

love that he feels as pure as anything

that he's felt in prayer and so I think

what's so confusing and so amazing about

that experience for him which I'm sure I

hope we can relate to is just that once

you fool for someone it's there's

nothing that should get in the way of

that as and obviously Hawk is um has got

so much life experience and he plays he

knows how to survive and Tim doesn't um

yeah I think it really set up your

relationship and like you said that kind

of dynamic that we see throughout the

course of it and to your point I mean it

was protection in a way right I mean you

could literally be I think that's how

Hulk qualifies it for himself you know

for sure yeah yeah and to play that so

stoically and so powerfully I think

really resonated in that moment that

maybe there is something we can't see

behind that right maybe it is about

protection and safety I do want to play

the Hawkin him sleeping clip if we have

it if we have

it because I think it's a really

interesting

moment that scene to me so little is

said but so much is said and I don't

know how many people in the audience

today who are part of the community feel

this way but for me I I know there were

moments where I felt like I had to sneak

around and be ashamed and hide who I was

for fear of what someone might think for

fear of being outed um and seeing the

two of you in that moment feeling that

so vividly like it broke my heart and

it's not such an obvious emotional scene

but it really broke my heart did you

feel that did you have that kind of same

experience shooting

it yeah I mean it's just so sad that

anyone has to live like that but I yeah

the stakes are so present aren't they

the security and the safety that they

afford each other and they're so they

sort of hold each other in a really

beautiful way when they're allowed to

and they're given space to and then the

moment the difference between a door and

what that means for these people at that

point especially um but yeah it's uh

unfortunately it's a panic and an

anxiety that I think we're all born with

um I hope that changes but uh yeah so

it's it's it is sad to play but it's um

it's easily

accessed yeah sadly I mean it's um I

feel like it was an undertone throughout

the entire series the sense of longing

and and and um unable inability to

express everything that needed to be

expressed to really you know have a full

relationship that's open to the world

and you know there's something that's

bifurcated in that I think and I don't

know for me it was like I I could relate

to it certainly growing up up in Texas

and figuring out my own identity and

playing a game that felt like it was

high stakes to me at the time to just

survive and get to New York City um so

yeah it was I think it was an undertone

throughout the whole show but something

really anyone from our community can

relate to on some level so and

specifically at that time I suppose as

well just the fact that a neighbor and

even a dog could be the thing that you

know ends your career like loses you

your family you know it's it's w it's

wild and it's such a beautiful you know

Ron is such an

incredible Craftsman of moments to go

from that the most Serene like innocence

of their love to to the the reality of

the world outside I think is just

brilliant and therefore I always think

in those moments of shock and Duality

where you're suddenly exposed to

something as an audience emotion can

really and that's what I think he he

really understands as well in

storytelling yeah it's unexpected I also

feel like anytime we got to be supine we

were so excited because we were so tired

because it was such a a long filming

schedule I was like you look so

beautific when you're sleeping in that

I'm like he was probably so happy that

he got to lay

down 15 minutes did the two of you have

a favorite decade that you got to

play they're all so good yeah I mean

it's funny when you're talking about

moments do you really remember but I do

actually I remember a lot about the

first scene when Tim comes back with

information about the executive order it

was quite late we that was another night

shoot but I remember really then it felt

to me that it was so like it was the

moment where we were going I don't know

how to say it I'm so bad at talking

about process but it felt like uh if you

imagine putting up a tent it was like we

had chosen the spot we were going to put

our tent up and then it was like

watching each other hammer down the guy

ropes and it felt like what happened in

that

scene was created the the

um uh the blank the sort of canvas by

which then you'd grow anyway but then I

feel like there were there were lynchpin

scenes in every decade that followed I

really remember another and they seem to

always be perilous night shoots but in

the in episode seven in Fire Island the

um

and um getting back to my favorite

moment no the um this is a different

moment in episode 7 but the uh the the

late night conversation where Tim

reveals that he's actually seeing

someone in San Francisco and there was

something and then you know I can't

yeah yeah no I'm with

you yeah they all really did resonate in

a different way and and there were times

I was always kind of excited to get this

like I'd spoken about get to see what

the next decade was going to be like and

what people were bringing and Johnny and

Allison and galani and Noah all brought

such Nuance to the performances in each

decade it was just such a joy to get to

watch and take in and play with play

opposite and um there were different I I

mean I think there was something really

nice about the banelli and freedom of

Fire Island even though Hulk was like

harboring that really tragic secret the

whole episode like we had been so

buttoned up in the 50s for three

episodes straight and it was so

repressed and bottled up and every

director had been like you not allowed

to emote you they're all in you don't

give anything away you are cold you are

the best poker player and then getting

to just kind of let some of that go and

suddenly be in short shorts on the on

the beach with you I was like what is

happening right now I don't know but I

love it and so it was just it was that

was kind of a special moment to get to

have it was your volcanic

shimmy been brewing the there was also

CU similarly in episode 6 as well do you

remember the scene around the fireplace

I was thinking about this

this week about it was it was about what

I mean is that the relationship to their

um to the assumed intimacy that happens

and especially in episode six where Tim

at that point is

um uh you know he's with Father Lawrence

and he's um been in seminary and he's

burning you know it's so so sort of

devout at that point and there were

these key moments where it's like how do

they address each other physically um

did you remember we I remember that was

when people ask about whether we talked

about scenes and we I feel like we

didn't really until that was one where

we took ourselves off and we were like

actually what is this and it was a bit

where he you know is hugging Tim and Tim

is trying to pull away and I feel that

that sort of intimacy was also in this

the scene that I was talking about in

episode seven or you know where it's

like and I thought that was just so

interesting and sometimes really comp

you know so complicated because you have

to to you have to sort of team up and

actually

oh we did and it's when you're so

grateful to have a scene partner like

Johnny who makes you better and and

inspires you to do better and be better

every day because we would sidebar and

we would like you know we'd go okay we'd

block this scene and we like okay we

have like a loose idea what this is but

like now let's really talk about like

what's really going on like what would

be this being what if we tried this and

and then just let it come to life when

they called action but I feel like those

some of those sidebar moments we have

were really and this is Ron's writing

one the day for everyone involved in

this project but they were really

integral to some of the moments with our

characters totally and it's because of

his detail that there were you know

there were so many different way but

there's just the Nuance it's just it's

incredible isn't it because it's like if

you're dancing with someone and you can

freestyle and like you can you know uh

come together in freestyle but then to

actually have a choreograph moment where

you both can really just go hang on what

you know what do you what we say you

know what are we saying together what we

saying as actors about what we think

these gay men will be experiencing of

these humans yeah lose sense of the

eight count too and just find the

freedom in it you know yeah we have so

many dance

metaphors we're here for it we're here

for them all keep them coming there's so

many scenes as you mentioned that that

are very you know intimate and close and

you have to have so much trust with one

another so what is it about one another

that makes you feel safe because you're

really putting your full self into each

other's hands

kindness literally and figuratively yeah

um sense of humor yeah H I think it's

just who Johnny is from the first time

we met and we sat down at that coffee

shop which we've talked about at naum

I'm sorry gold struck coffee on

Cumberland Avenue loud shout outs to you

in Toronto um and we just we just

decided like we were gonna have each

other's back and and I think we both

come from the theater initially and we

have like a sense of what that processes

and you know in theater when you're in

that rehearsal room you have to have

each other you have to really take some

bold risks and have each other's back

and and be be willing to get ugly and

fail and make have bad takes and do

things that aren't right and I just

always had that sense from him and I I

feel like the intimacy on the show was

so well written um that and I've said

this before but the characters were

never the same after an intimacy scene

as they were before and to me that's the

mark of a really good intimacy scene

that's integral to the story and it was

such a it was the most I've ever been um

first of all I think it's one of the the

first times I've not really dissociated

when I've been in intimacy scenes and I

because it felt like an acting scene to

me because what they were doing was such

a reflection of both of their reactions

to an oppressive Society Hawks raging

against it a need for control and Tim I

don't want to put words in your mouth

but being more willing to let go and be

open to things and and um and the way

they had this

therapeutic um way of coming together

that that for for Hawk especially it

felt like it was the freest he ever was

in the 50s you

know

yeah I think what's no I I I appreciate

that answer and I think that it's really

rewarding to see that offscreen

relationship as I mentioned earlier it's

so clear it's it's there and that's what

part of the magic is with the series you

really feel it yeah and also I think

with Matt as well you have to remember

that was there from the get-go and um

you were there in the pitch meetings Ron

and Robbie invited you on board and so

from my experience Matt was the well I

spoke to Ron first but you know we had a

screen test and in terms of leadership

you don't get better really than Matt um

because there's no sense of hierarchy

but it was just uh an everpresent um

sort of sensitivity and kindness and but

with that I don't mean it was just

always really fun and the work was you

you know you led was such a bright light

um and I think that really allows

everyone to have an amazing time and you

need that in a leader of a series like

this um it was really Ron you

know can't take can't no I I'll tell you

why because I was so and I've talked

about this too I'm sorry I was cynical

about this initially I was not cynical I

was doubtful and I was trying to protect

my own heart because I love the story so

much I was trying to protect from the

disappointment of it not going but the

first time I read one of Ron's scripts I

thought they're going to make this show

like it's really gonna happen because

his writing was just it was undeniable

and he was there for pretty much every

take of every scene we did and I I

looked to him and when I was you know

exhausted on our 60 whatever of the week

I I looked to Ron and this guy who was

just like you could see this was his

baby and you needed to treat it as such

you know it was it was so inspiring to

see you're right and also you can make

huge you can make big swings when you've

got someone like Ron like just

completely looking out for you and it

and my gosh does he Lov the characters

yeah I mean if it's I'm not even sure

it's possible more than us but he does

and uh uh I do I remember on Fire Island

when we we' done three episodes in the

50s and I do remember that was the one

time I sat by the pool outside and I'd

gotten you know my Tash on and I was

like is this

gonna I'm N I was like I'm n how do you

Stitch you know the how do you carry the

spirit forward of and he just said

Johnny he said you do you do your thing

but he's like I've got the story I've

got it in my you know and I will conr

and and it really is true that his it's

his construction of that story in the

writing of it in the conception of it

but in also the day-to-day filming of it

and then the edit you know so much and

also there was so many details as well

interestingly that did you know that

weren't inv involved in the final story

which um just shows how much of a wealth

there is in his brain about these and I

have no idea how you do that um but it

felt it yeah it felt like you know

having watched the Olympics a couple

weeks ago it's like having one of those

spotters doing when you're doing the

gymnastics and you just know you're

going to get caught so why not go for

the Simone bars number three yeah

absolutely that you mentioned feeling a

little I'm sorry I'm still over Simone

biles number three we love Simone biles

we love Mobile's moment she's from my

hometown Spring Texas she really all

right I want to pick up on what you just

said though for a minute you felt a

little almost cynical in the beginning

that this wouldn't actually happen right

did you think that the world maybe

wouldn't be ready for a story like this

did you have that

fear again and I it's my fault but I

feel like maybe cynical is the wrong

word doubtful might be more accurate and

again I I was self self protecting

admittedly but I thought okay I knew how

much money it would take to make a

period piece and I thought are they

really going to put the money in into

all this and are they really going to

let it be an lgbtqia plus love story and

then are they going to let members of

our community actually be at the

creative Helm of that story like I just

I don't I couldn't recall seeing a lot

of things out there in the world like

that so I was just doubtful but you know

we were so blessed to be at showtime and

ultimately Paramount plus and and

freemantle because you know when you're

developing things a lot of times you get

these really restrictive notes like oh

yeah don't do that that's going to

alienate this part of the audience don't

do that that you know women aren't going

to like that or you know you get those

kinds of notes and they were the polar

opposite they were like go farther

embarrass yourself push yourself scare

yourself we dare you to push this as far

as you can we're like what and so I feel

like that a permission like bled all the

way over into our work as actors as well

or we could just jump off a cliff and I

knew Johnny would catch me and and if it

was you know or or Ron would edit it out

or whatever we'd have to do you know

we he could spot me like Simone and um

but yeah it all did yeah like I don't

know we were just very we were just I

was so moved and inspired by the fact

that we had people who weren't all

members of our community who were there

with the power with the decision- making

capability to say no we believe in you

go go further tell your story to the

furthest extent that you can and that

that you know obliterated every amount

of cynicism I ever had honestly well to

be a part of a show that not only is

credited with saving people's lives

literally it's it's there's so many

stories of people who write about that

to also healing families and

relationships to your point it's not

just for people in the community it's

literally healing a world of people

through your work which I think is a

huge Testament and thank God this series

was made am I right thank God thank

God all right boys we got some fan

questions up in here are you ready for

them yeah okay I'm not responsible for

anything that's about to come out of my

mouth I love it Peter H Peter H thank

you for your question

what is something in today's world that

you wish your characters would be able

to see or experience PS congrats on the

Emmy

nominations Tim would be living his best

life yeah God he would yeah I mean he

would be so proud of the of bits of how

you know how communities uh progressed

um my goodness what a question

question I

mean God there's so much I mean he yeah

there's so much I mean he would I mean

the fact that I think for him it would

be about education and about the

inclusion of queerness and and gayness

in schools I think which I know you know

we still have in the UK but I think he'd

be incredibly proud I mean there such an

Earnest response but yeah he just I

think he would just love gay marriage

and just be

able and to be able to be with he's so

he loved

so fiercely and um I think yeah he would

have wanted to stand by someone and to

be able to let go of all that shame I

think and he would have done as well

yeah I would love to see a photo album

him and just a bunch of different

weddings like enjoying it

all totally okay I'm going to go Earnest

drought too um I would say not that that

that was beautiful he said I'm just

saying I'm not going to try to make

people laugh um I would say it would be

so beautiful for Hawke to get to see a

world where he could have everything

that he thought he needed to sacrifice

everything to have but also not have to

sacrifice any of that to have it does

that make sense a world where he could

have the job in the government have the

life in Italy also have the life love of

his life and also not have to feel like

just kissing him him in public wasn't a

completely revolutionary act beautifully

said all right Laura Laura's up next

Matt what was your favorite scene or

performance of Jonathan's and Jonathan

what was your favorite of Matts I can

answer that sorry I I I my my mind is

blown with the performance of the

polygraph test I just think it's one of

the most stunning sequences performed on

TV I do I really I think how do you do

that there's nothing seemingly happening

physically but you know exactly what is

going on and the building pressure and

everything that Hawk is as an animal is

featured in that sequence and I think

yeah I think it's beautiful and yeah and

you can't really compare it to a thing I

think it's it's very kind of you to say

we had an amazing director who I feel

like did so much of that

work but but what but yeah thank you

that thank you I to say thank you not

good with compliments got it honestly um

I I mean it's so hard for me to pick

just one cuz Johnny was so brilliant in

so many of our scenes and just the what

he would bring to the table would force

me into the moment and bring me right

there with him and I just feel like I

feel like um a lot of it w and I'll just

go sequentially okay um the 50s when you

wrote uh when you when you hung out of

the party and I make you write the

letter I mean just seeing everything his

character was going through but also

having to like steal myself from that

was like one of the hardest things I've

ever had to do that one of that the

scene I was referring to yes that was it

that and and just the the the subtlety

and the Nuance of seeing this lost kid

who was so ahead of his time it was just

all written across your face and you

know I love you in the

70s I think a lot of people did just

saying yeah but also just the beauty of

what he brought from the 60s because I

knew what happened in the 60s and I saw

him bring that in in the 70s and it was

like it was the first time I saw you as

like a fully realized

man and it was like whoa it was it just

it just brought me right into the scene

because with the first scene we shot in

the 70s

uh was our sort of day trip to the beach

where and he checks in on walk and he's

sort of studying and you come out the

sea and um yeah I I remember likewise

seeing you know the it was unbelievably

Mo like the sort of the spiraling of

Hawk was so evident but we hadn't seen

each other until we got to the beach yes

and yeah so that was I remember that it

was another one of those scenes that

you're talking about that Ron writes

it's so unexpected and such a just to

position emotionally because Hawk at the

time is like flirting with death trying

to kill himself and see if he has the

courage to swim out far enough that he

can't make it back and he pushes himself

that day and then he gets to the beach

and there's the love of his life waiting

for him yeah who like brings him back to

life and there's also something about

him at that point has developed the

ability to sit and observe and not you

know em be led by his emotions and yeah

it's so interesting when the person that

you that knows you intimately you can't

hide behind and at that point Hawk is

just with all tension is holding on to

try some semblance of being okay and Tim

can just see which I think is yeah yeah

it's

powerful I mean I'm sitting up here

grinning like a fool because how

satisfying is it to hear them talk about

these scenes that we've been watching

and loving right for so long it's truly

amazing to hear you you know kind of

pick them apart in that way all right

Nicole C is watching I have to say one

other scene I'm sorry I'm sorry y'all

sorry Nicole C sorry the last scene we

had together in the 80s oh yeah

outside the strength and the poignancy

you you don't understand how great an

actor you have to be to play Tim in that

scene and not lean into the

sentimentality too far but have it be

earned and just come from the soul and

just come through the eyes so

beautifully and in such a human way that

it really would was like wow that's like

that's like the degree of difficult ulty

on that is unheard of and just it was

one of the most beautiful things I've

ever seen that is really that is Ron

that

is that is that it really is but also

you know technically in a scene like

that I remember we cross shot that Do

You Remember by that and and so

basically what you see is a live

reaction because you know you know when

you film a scen sometime so I don't know

like on sometimes it's just you film you

know what I mean do you know yeah um so

we were both being filmed at the same

time yeah yeah um and um and it was so

it was silent and and and you know

usually there was something it was like

was it like a gentle snowfall yeah there

was was there in moments yeah yeah and

there was a sequence that wasn't in the

finished edit where Tim and Hawk arrive

at the gala do you remember yes yeah oh

and there was the young activists that

were fight oh yeah

yeah that meant a lot to you

huh yeah but I mean yeah it just they

Rose you know they Rose their fist to

Tim and I think Hawk sort of

acknowledged it but I mean it was just

yeah I

mean I think the the scene you know

obviously the de you know that's the the

in you know that's the big operatic

moment I suppose and I think the whole

crew and everyone it was something there

was a Simplicity to it by that point

because all the work's done you know for

Tim as well and that's what's so they've

had their amazing and that's the end of

their

amazing um beautiful sort of operatic

life romance romance that that's it and

I think there was not much more to say

and it was clear for Tim for the first

time in his life um and that's to do

with Ron that is literally to do with

Ron's experience and his understanding

of you know his own life I suppose but

also interpreting other people's and

that's what made it so I think it was

yeah I do think it was so how you know

the nerve because we didn't get episode

8 for a while yes and as we were

building momentum and you're like oh my

gosh like you see nor and gelani and

knowing the sort of wealth of you know

with Allison coming in and getting a

sense of that because it was so me and

Matt for so long and then you'd see bits

you'd be like oh my God this is and

never doubting it but just being so

excited to see how a master can tie that

all up and and it was amazing how he did

it and there were a lot of things in

flux up until the very end yeah remember

there didn't used to be a milk scene or

the milk scene was very different

[Applause]

do you do

you do you remember what there was do

you remember yes well there were many

iterations but are you talking about the

candle wax the candle

wax I'm a little

speechless all right we were finding

these things out like a week before we'd

do them and so it was it was but Ron had

the whole thing mapped out in his mind

and he knew had a Tetris in the perfect

thing to really bring the full Arc of

the relationship so and he knew that it

was the AIDS Quil that he was going to

that that was his vignette that um and

he I think points you know there were

conversations about it could end in

different ways and he just just he's

like that is how it ends and I think

that was one of his first images that

came to his head when he considered

adapting the novel I just think it's so

powerful the zooming out and then yeah

no it's it it brought many people to

tears I'm sure of it um sticking on

theme with different scene work this is

from Nicole C who's watching on the live

stream

Hawks breakdown on Fire Island and the

way in which Tim really takes care of

him is so moving what was each of your

experience like filming

that

well I mean go ahead no you you go ahead

go well I just no

no oh no no you say

it no I mean it

was I don't know why my brain goes to I

just

remember I think I'm no it's I mean it

was so emotionally it was you know huge

and upsetting and you know M it's so

easy to obviously as Tim look after Hawk

when Matt was giving that performance

but I do remember your wig fell off a

little

bit your wig fell off your wig fell off

oh did oh you put it back on

yeah so that they wouldn't lose the

tears coming out of my eyes I I was like

stay in it stay in it it's okay yeah it

was because it was quite you know it was

a real yeah it was a handsy scene in

many

ways um

I you know that honestly that was the

that was one of the more challenging

things I've ever had to do in my life it

was

obviously so raw emotionally but what

Destiny did that was kind of a favor to

us but was also terrifying there was no

like cut between we had to play out the

whole sex scene all the way through the

end of the breakdown so there was no

it's not like they separated out the two

uh which was obviously kind of

terrifying as a performer but timately I

think all all the the drug fueled uh

just banan desire and it mixed with the

anger and the frustration and the turn

in the scene I think she really did us

all a great service in that you know and

that and that she let us play out the

entirety of it you know and and that's

another example of Ron's what M like how

you think the scene you know is so it's

so indulgent in the the power play

between the three of them and their

needs are all so explicit and then for

it to be for the picture

of um Jackson to be spotted I think it

was that was like a wild ride but that's

you know I just again just you know

you're seeing you're seeing a sort of a

Lamborghini at work there and you just

sort of you know all Tim has to do you

know you just have to listen and and be

there but it was brutal but I did feel

that I felt everything that you I felt I

and that was one of those moments that

we talked about in that coffee shop

where you were there for me on every

level not only when we were filming but

when the cameras were in between and

every everything else and it is a

testament to to Ron's writing though

because it is so reflective you know

it's almost the same way with his

alcohol intake that you don't come for

that secret he Harbors or he lashes out

at you and it was It was kind of an echo

of that when he has a tragic secret if

you try to find it or uncover it he

attacks

well we're going to finish up with two

lighthearted questions from the audience

Megan would like to know what Hawk and

Skippy support brat

summer Megan I love you what a great

question that's part

one skippy for sure right he's he's like

friends with Charlie

XCX yeah she he was at um her birthday

party the other day

um I think that's basically what Fire

Island was for them they yeah wasn't it

yeah um hulke likes watching the twinks

enjoy brat

summer and and other people too but

maybe so I think that answers who is the

bigger

brat oh my

gosh probably Hawk

yeah okay you mean a BU as people or our

characters I think we should go for both

no don't make us do that I don't even

know what brat summer means I don't

either I'm still trying to figure it out

there's a dance on Tik Tok I know that

yeah I like that we'll learn it and

we'll do it and we'll post it

okay last

question um and this is I guess a lot of

people asked it so many names on this

lots of milk

questions Jack and Jonathan Jonathan how

how much milk did you drink what kind

was

it it's oat milk for me um uh I drank

probably about 17

lers no no do you know what we did that

really quickly we did it was a take and

a half yeah after about yeah I mean 20

hour no no 17 hour day yeah it was a

long um I remember at the beginning of

that you knowing that scene that was at

the end of the day and you look down at

the call sheet and like we've done one

we've done one scene and we've got seven

to go and it's like it was literally

two: in the morning yeah yeah I mean it

was what you know uh but yeah so

actually not not that much milk um but

it was for me it was oat okay did you

mind that when opportunity to talk about

your your charity if you want to oh yeah

she's a great audience to talk to

is beautiful thing that Jonathan did

that parlayed some of the work and

awareness we did on the show and and

turned it into something much bigger in

a great way to give back to the

community yeah well I think I do think

that's something that is was totally

inspired by you know obviously inspired

by fellow shelers but just the

experience of telling the story um and

uh and yeah I mean the the T-shirt sold

out straight away but I think that's

because of Matt's

command well the name of the

organization is is is the Shameless fund

and we can look online about yeah it can

and it's G to you know it will um yeah

I'm excited I'm really excited it feels

like sort of um a really interesting way

of of being able to support multiple

Charities as we go forward and um 2025

will be the year where we can start um

you know identifying the grants and but

there's amazing ways in doing thing

because it's kind of overwhelming I

think when uh when you know you get

asked to get involved with different

charities and I just sort of felt um

obviously you know wanted to there's so

many brilliant causes out there and so

wanted to come up with a way that you

could disperse um and also raise the

profile of um nonprofits and um because

you know how else do you it's sense of

overwhelm is and over Charities and

anyway Shameless fund will be a way that

you can support those um by you know

hopefully buying some viby stuff along

the way yeah well good on you you

guys this has been one of the most

gratifying interviews I've gotten to do

on my my career I love when I get to

highlight work that actually says

something and that means so much to so

many people and to talk to two

Trailblazers in the community going out

there and fighting the good fight

through ART because I think nothing is

more powerful than that and I know this

whole room is grateful for your gifts

and your Artistry I'm so grateful for it

and I think my friend Celeste is

backstage I want to celebrate the night

and kick it off with a little glass of

oat milk

yeah yeah baby the other character in

the series so grab a cup oh

my thank to these two gentlemen thank

you for a beautiful night thank you Tomy

thank you cheers cheers cheers cheers

everybody and we have one more clip

we're going to play on our way out so

sit enjoy the clip and we're going to go

enjoy some thank you everybody for

coming out tonight it means so much to

us Tommy thank you so much for this Q&A

and hosting we love you thank you so

much