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1
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,878
♪
2
00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:12,708
I still think bottles
are the best move.
3
00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,666
No, they're not because
you can't crush a beer bottle
4
00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,190
-on your forehead.
-Sure, you can.
5
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:18,322
Yeah, if you want blood
everywhere.
6
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,803
Listen, hey, we're forgetting
the most important thing here.
7
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:22,239
We're partying
with Danny Poker tonight.
8
00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:23,806
-Do you know what that means?
-Strippers!
9
00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:25,503
-Mmm! Hoo hoo hoo!
-♪ One, one, one, tens
10
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:26,809
-♪ On them 20s, chick
-Oh, dude, we're, like,
11
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,332
in his squad now.
12
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:29,551
We're going squad-deep
with Danny Poker.
13
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:30,943
-[sighs]
-Squad goals accomplished.
14
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,511
Man, we are gonna drink
our dicks off.
15
00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:35,426
-[door opens]
-'Sup, bitches?
16
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,211
Hey.
17
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:38,255
Oh.
18
00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:41,650
Sweatpants to
the strip club, huh?
19
00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:44,870
Damn it, I knew I should've worn
my Adidas nylons, man.
20
00:00:44,914 --> 00:00:46,089
You know,
extra sensitivity.
21
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:48,265
-I actually had them on.
-You did?
22
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:51,051
But then I decided to change
to my cargo pants
23
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:53,053
'cause, you know,
I need all these pockets
24
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:55,359
for all the extra numbers
I'm about to get.
25
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:56,491
-[laughs]
-Yeah, boy.
26
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,232
-Clyde, shoes.
-Oh, shit.
27
00:00:58,275 --> 00:00:59,624
Clyde, take your
fucking shoes off, man.
28
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,104
-Sorry. All right, guys.
-Hey, Danny, look.
29
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,410
Brought two different types
of beer.
30
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:03,672
I got these awesome
old-school cans
31
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:04,890
or you got these stupid
old bottles.
32
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,283
-Which one you want?
-Neither.
33
00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,198
I'm still getting over
last night.
34
00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:10,157
Oh, really? Wow.
35
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,897
-What were you drinking?
-Cocaine.
36
00:01:11,941 --> 00:01:13,508
-Oh.
-Oh.
37
00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:16,163
In fact,
no anything tonight.
38
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:17,860
I've been going hard
for the past six months,
39
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:20,167
so I just need a night
to flush these pipes out--
40
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:21,603
my dick pipe,
my leg pipes,
41
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,126
-my stomach pipes and...
-Yeah.
42
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,736
-Butt pipes, all that stuff.
-Sounds great.
43
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,347
So maybe just a couple
of girls.
44
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,349
Yeah, one or two-- one
for each of us or whatever.
45
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:29,959
The reason
I called you two
46
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:32,527
is 'cause all 20 of my go-tos
are on the rag.
47
00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:34,442
I knew they were spending
too much time together.
48
00:01:34,485 --> 00:01:38,141
-Perils of an orgy.
-So tonight, super mellow.
49
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:39,708
No drugs,
no strippers.
50
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:42,493
Just a quiet movie night.
51
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:43,973
Yeah.
52
00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:46,062
Can we at least call it
Boys' Night In?
53
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,194
Oh.
54
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:50,719
-Fine.
-Yes! Mm!
55
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:53,243
♪
56
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,796
♪
57
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,276
[crying]
58
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,365
I can't marry you,
Jim.
59
00:02:28,409 --> 00:02:30,715
I'm dying.
60
00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:32,587
I'm going to meet
my god now.
61
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,807
But you are
my goddess, Diane.
62
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:38,810
-You.
-[sobbing]
63
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,857
And my religion
is loving you.
64
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,554
Okay, we can have
one beer!
65
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:44,903
Here, have a little bit
of mine.
66
00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:46,557
There you go
and there you go.
67
00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:48,342
Here's to one beer.
68
00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:50,082
To show ourselves
we can.
69
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:51,301
-Yeah.
-Prove to myself
70
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,129
that I don't have
a problem.
71
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,478
Here's to
not drinking.
72
00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:56,611
Cheers.
73
00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,830
♪
74
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:13,802
Oh, fuck.
75
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,026
[groaning]
76
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,987
-[bones crunch]
-Ugh.
77
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:30,297
Danny?
78
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:32,908
-Did we, uh...
-Huh?
79
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:35,867
Did we at least
use protection?
80
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:38,130
Jesus!
Get dressed.
81
00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:40,132
I don't wanna look
at your little Pokémon.
82
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,135
-[spine cracks]
-[groans]
83
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:44,920
Wait a second.
84
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,313
Wait, where's
my diamond belt?
85
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:49,141
I don't know.
I don't know.
86
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:51,274
We must've gone shopping
at some point last night
87
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,058
'cause I seem
to have picked up
88
00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:55,060
this rather fashionable
white scarf,
89
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:58,281
which I am rocking
so hard right now.
90
00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,674
It's got a pretty
distinct odor.
91
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,197
[sniffs]
92
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,286
But, hot Carl, do I look good.
Look at this.
93
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,809
You don't seem to understand,
all right?
94
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,289
I'm missing
my lucky belt
95
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,725
and I'm dressed
like fucking Claude.
96
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,640
-Clyde.
-Who cares?
97
00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:11,338
Wait--
wait a minute, you--
98
00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:12,861
you're literally wearing
Clyde's clothes right now?
99
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,210
Yeah, either that
or I went on a cruise
100
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,646
to the gay Bahamas
last night.
101
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:16,908
What the fuck
is Clyde wearing?
102
00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:19,433
[clearing throat]
Clyde! Hello!
103
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,435
He's around here naked
just like me. I can feel it.
104
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,306
Clyde, are you just
bumming around, buddy?
105
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,742
No, no, no,
no, no, no!
106
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,178
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no, Danny.
107
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:27,615
Danny, Danny,
Clyde's not here,
108
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:28,833
but his phone
and his keys are.
109
00:04:28,877 --> 00:04:30,313
Oh, shit,
he's not here.
110
00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:31,401
Clyde's not here.
Something's wrong.
111
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,185
Clyde! Clyde!
112
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:35,144
Fuck. How the fuck
did we black out so hard?
113
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:37,320
Hey! Danny Poker
doesn't black out.
114
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:38,930
Okay,
then you can help.
115
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,323
I just don't remember
anything right now.
116
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,368
[burps]
117
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,847
Look, we just need a clue.
118
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:44,327
-That's a good idea.
-[clatters]
119
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,286
-Shit.
-Just look for clues.
120
00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:48,026
Ah! Hey.
121
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,681
I never forget
a meal.
122
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:55,338
That's Mongolian beef.
123
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,253
Dude, that was
in my ass.
124
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,907
Tasted a little assy.
125
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,300
Shitzakaya.
126
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:01,779
This must be where we ate
last night.
127
00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,390
-Let's go.
-[slurping]
128
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:06,480
-Is that your beer?
-Nope.
129
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,133
My beer's
pretty quiet today.
130
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:09,744
[slurping]
131
00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:12,181
-What the fuck?
-All right, that admittedly
132
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:14,009
is a whole thing that we are
gonna have to deal with later,
133
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,750
-okay?
-I'm not going anywhere!
134
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:17,404
There's old-ass strangers
up in my place.
135
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,014
Your belt.
136
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:20,276
Oh, dear God.
You're right.
137
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,843
I almost forgot.
138
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:23,714
-There's no time to waste.
-We'll be back.
139
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,631
-♪
-[sniffs]
140
00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:30,199
Danny, Pac-y,
you're back!
141
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:31,679
-[laughing]
-You know us?
142
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:32,854
[squeals]
143
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,551
Uh,
144
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,423
well, I really hope
you know us
145
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,120
'cause running up
to a total stranger
146
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:39,948
and sticking your tongue
in their mouth is kind of rude.
147
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:41,253
[moans]
148
00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:42,298
And you're just
keeping it there.
149
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,517
Okay, wow.
Even ruder.
150
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,519
You guys were hilarious
last night,
151
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:47,172
especially Clyde.
152
00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:49,087
Everyone here
loves you.
153
00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:51,655
And I love you,
Danny Poker.
154
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:53,178
That's-- I'm so happy
for you guys.
155
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:55,137
Did you say Clyde?
Hi-- hi, I'm sorry.
156
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,530
-Did you say Clyde?
-Yes.
157
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,749
[stammering]
Okay, so did we leave together?
158
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,969
What were we doing? When was
the last time you saw him?
159
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,623
You guys
went downstairs
160
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,146
and that's the last
I saw of him.
161
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:05,408
Went downstairs?
Okay.
162
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:06,757
Where-- where
is downstairs from here?
163
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:08,498
D-- how long
were we down there for?
164
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:10,065
Where--
where is exactly
165
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:13,416
-is the downstairs?
-Dude! Go downstairs. Now!
166
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,809
Okay.
Is it down there?
167
00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:16,941
♪
168
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,923
You look delicious.
169
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:44,012
A...
170
00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:45,187
...4.
171
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,318
[whirring]
172
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,236
[grunting]
173
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:54,065
[grunts]
174
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:08,645
Whoa.
175
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,883
[cheering]
176
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:32,626
[yelling]
177
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:35,106
[snorts, coughs]
178
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:38,153
[coughs, retches]
179
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:41,156
Ugh.
180
00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:43,419
I knew you'd be back.
181
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:50,426
Last night,
182
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,168
on this very ring
we stand now,
183
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,170
I saw a fierce warrior.
184
00:07:55,213 --> 00:07:57,868
Never in my 40 years
of training
185
00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,479
have I seen a fighter
186
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:01,655
with so much
potential
187
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:03,961
and yet also so--
188
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:07,487
so, uh, drunk.
189
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:10,402
You were tore up like,
"Whoa."
190
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:13,014
-"Like whoa"?
-No, no. "Whoa!"
191
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,450
You're talking--
you're talking about me?
192
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,539
-Mm.
-I was--
193
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:19,063
-I was good?
-Not good.
194
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,544
-Amazing.
-Yeah!
195
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,981
I have dedicated
my life
196
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:26,114
to the ancient
and rich tradition
197
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,856
of underground
sumo fight club.
198
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,945
-Right.
-But never
199
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,555
have I trained
a yokozuna.
200
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,296
Yodazuda.
201
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:35,689
After what I saw
last night,
202
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:38,300
you could be
that fighter.
203
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,128
Holy shit.
Wait, wait!
204
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:42,260
If you saw me here last night,
did you see my friend?
205
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:44,436
-Did you see Clyde?
-Clyde?
206
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,177
Yes, I saw him.
207
00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:47,744
And I saw him leave
with the Yakuza.
208
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:49,659
-The "Ya-kuza"?
-Yak-uza.
209
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,879
-Ya-kuza.
-Ya-ku-za.
210
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:54,534
-Ya-kuza!
-Hmm, nah.
211
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,448
Yakuza.
212
00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:59,060
-[groans, slurps]
-Oh, hey.
213
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,627
-Ooh, feeling that.
-Danny, I did it.
214
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,150
I did it, Danny.
I found another clue.
215
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:04,761
I found another clue.
Clyde is with the Yakuza.
216
00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:07,590
-If we find the Yakuza...
-We find my belt.
217
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:08,591
Yes, exactly.
218
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,288
Now, the question is
219
00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:12,247
where to find
the Yakuza.
220
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:13,683
Yakuza?
221
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,467
They conduct
all their business at Chillax,
222
00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:17,252
an authentic
Japanese bathhouse.
223
00:09:17,295 --> 00:09:20,168
-Do they, now?
-Hey! I said both hands.
224
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:21,822
Oh.
225
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,388
Oh, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
226
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,652
Thank you. Okay, Danny,
let's go, come on.
227
00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:28,176
-Just give me, uh, five, uh...
-Yeah, yeah.
228
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:29,699
[clicks tongue]
Yeah, take your time.
229
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:31,396
-Oh, boy.
-Slow down.
230
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,007
-There it is. Okay.
-Okay, good.
231
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,443
-Good stuff.
-Hold on one second.
232
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,097
Oh, yeah.
233
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,881
Come on, Danny. Please,
let's fucking go! Come on.
234
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:39,796
God damn it.
Don't you fucking bark at me
235
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,493
when I'm mid-bender.
236
00:09:41,537 --> 00:09:42,886
I wasn't interrupting you.
I just--
237
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:44,409
Can I have one
for the road, babe?
238
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,586
Thank you.
239
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,240
Don't be fooled
by the peaceful chimes.
240
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:52,635
The Yakuza are some bad
motherfuckers.
241
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,376
Bad motherfuckers.
242
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,465
That's lovely.
243
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,947
Hi.
Hi there.
244
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,992
Um, we don't have
a reservation,
245
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,559
but do you take
walk-ins?
246
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,865
[burps]
247
00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:07,563
We're here to see
a Mr. Yakuza.
248
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,521
Also, I'm gonna have to take
a hangover shit
249
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,001
in, like,
10 minutes.
250
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,221
♪
251
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:14,570
Which one
is Mr. Yakuza?
252
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,180
Okay.
[clears throat]
253
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,358
Hey, man, I'm sorry
I snapped at you earlier.
254
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,056
That was
disrespectful of me.
255
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,493
It's just, any time
after I ejaculate,
256
00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:26,669
I'm just so angry, you know?
It just-- 'cause, you know,
257
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,323
I'm not getting sexed up
anymore.
258
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,064
Yeah. No, you don't have
to apologize for that, man.
259
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,631
You know, I get mad
when I'm not getting any, too.
260
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:32,849
Yeah, I feel like
I'm mad all the time.
261
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,372
Oh!
262
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,113
I'm not hiding
anything up there.
263
00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:39,682
Pac, Danny!
Come, come.
264
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:42,163
Take a chillax.
[chuckles]
265
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,034
You need girl?
266
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:45,949
You need whiskey?
267
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,777
You need uni, huh?
268
00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:50,214
Tell Ohno. I get it for you
right here, right now.
269
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,825
Oh, okay.
Well, in that case,
270
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,870
uh, we kind of need
Clyde back.
271
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:56,220
I'm sorry. That is one wish
I cannot make true.
272
00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:57,700
Why-- why exactly
is that
273
00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,136
the one wish that you can't
make true?
274
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,573
Because you lost him to me
in a bet.
275
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:02,879
What?
276
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,141
♪
277
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:06,448
The first rule
of fat fight club
278
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:08,363
is nobody wants
to talk about it.
279
00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:11,018
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
280
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:16,327
How about I'll bet
any amount of money
281
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:19,548
that my boy Pancake
whup this dude's ass.
282
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:22,246
Pancake!
Is that because I--
283
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,031
is that 'cause
I flatten people?
284
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:25,728
No, it's 'cause
you just tried
285
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:28,209
to order blueberry pancakes
at a Japanese restaurant.
286
00:11:28,252 --> 00:11:29,645
-They're so delicious.
-Oh, do me! Do me!
287
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,429
I want a nickname.
288
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:32,561
No.
289
00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:33,823
What do you say?
290
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:36,217
You want in
on this action, hmm?
291
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,089
Cash bets bore me.
292
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,135
Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo!
293
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,571
Okay.
294
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:44,399
That-- I bet this dude.
295
00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:46,270
You bet Clyde
to the Yakuza?
296
00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:48,098
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
297
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:49,839
-Don't put this on me.
-Uh!
298
00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:51,754
From the sounds of it, you were
supposed to be a sure thing.
299
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,669
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
300
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,279
Oh, my God,
you're right.
301
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,716
I'm responsible.
302
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,239
I lost the fight.
I lost my friend!
303
00:11:58,282 --> 00:11:59,631
Oh, no.
304
00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:01,068
You won the fight.
305
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,113
-I did?
-Yes.
306
00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:06,203
-Well...
-Danny here bet on other guy.
307
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,510
Changed his mind
at last minute.
308
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:10,164
[chuckles]
309
00:12:10,207 --> 00:12:12,340
You can see
why I'd do that.
310
00:12:12,383 --> 00:12:13,689
I mean, come on.
311
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,691
-[stammering]
-What?
312
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,085
Hey!
Now we're talkin'!
313
00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,608
All right.
But, hey,
314
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,871
cheers to you for winning
the fight, buddy.
315
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,307
-Good job!
-Kanpai.
316
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:25,222
Get 'em up.
Get 'em up, up, up, up!
317
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:26,310
Okay, well,
w-where is he?
318
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:27,703
Is he safe?
Is he okay?
319
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,967
Let's just say Clyde
is just fine.
320
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:34,449
[laughing]
321
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:35,929
That doesn't make me
feel very good.
322
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:38,105
Oh, listen. Okay,
how do we get my clothes--
323
00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:39,759
-Clyde back?
-Clyde. [clears throat]
324
00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:42,022
-I don't need your money.
-You don't?
325
00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:43,893
Okay, great.
Good place to start.
326
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,765
So why don't you just go ahead
and give him back to us
327
00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:47,723
like a-- like a gift?
Like a regift.
328
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:51,031
The only way you get Clyde back
is by fighting.
329
00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:55,339
You lost him in a fight,
you win him back in a fight.
330
00:12:55,383 --> 00:12:57,124
Double or nothing.
331
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,299
Okay.
332
00:12:58,342 --> 00:12:59,517
I'm in.
333
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:01,084
What's double
or nothing?
334
00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:03,434
You win,
you get your friend.
335
00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:06,307
I win,
336
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,962
I get you, big baby.
337
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,227
He does look like
a baby.
338
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,838
Yeah. Yeah, a big baby
that's gonna kick some ass.
339
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,753
Sounds like I was
pounding ass last night
340
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,363
-left, right, and center.
-Bro, that doesn't--
341
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,017
I don't think that's
what you were doing.
342
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,627
Okay, so I'll beat
whoever the fuck I have to beat
343
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:23,933
-to get him back.
-I was hoping
344
00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:25,674
you would say that.
345
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:28,851
I would like you to meet
my grand champion.
346
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,722
Yokozuna!
347
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,768
More like Yoko-who-na.
Pfft.
348
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,074
I got this.
349
00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:42,343
I don't got this.
350
00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:47,043
That Yoko Ono dude
is gonna crush you.
351
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,958
Really?
352
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:50,394
Don't worry, don't worry.
It's gonna be very funny.
353
00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:51,961
-Okay. Okay, well...
-I can't wait.
354
00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:53,484
...thanks, Danny.
You know, your support on this
355
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:54,746
means the world to me.
You're just, like,
356
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,052
a real champion,
you know?
357
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,837
You're really,
really solid, bro.
358
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,361
-Thanks.
-Oh, Jesus!
359
00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:01,579
-Whoa.
-That bartender
360
00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:02,754
just Snap'd me
her snatch.
361
00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:04,234
-That's her snatch?
-Oh!
362
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,671
I'm so horned up right now.
God damn it!
363
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,935
God, I don't know what I did
to deserve this woman.
364
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:11,285
-She is amazing.
-I'm so horny for you, Danny.
365
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,417
[stammering]
I'm hap-- happy for you.
366
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,376
I'm sorry. It's just, you know,
you found something real,
367
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:18,074
-something genuine there.
-Ay, chi-mami!
368
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:19,380
It's just, you know,
if I'm scared,
369
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,903
imagine how poor Clyde
is feeling.
370
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:22,426
He's not one of the strong ones
like us, Danny.
371
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,601
We're the pillars
of the community,
372
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:24,820
you know what I mean?
373
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,908
If I know Clyde
like I think I do,
374
00:14:25,952 --> 00:14:27,301
he's fucking terrified.
375
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:28,476
You like your bah-bah?
376
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:31,218
Yeah? You like
your bah-bah?
377
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:33,220
You like
that Papa Clyde
378
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,222
is giving you
your bah-bah?
379
00:14:35,265 --> 00:14:37,050
You want
some bubbles? Yeah?
380
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,008
Oh, yeah,
you want Papa Clyde
381
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:41,184
to go in there
and get some bubbles
382
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:44,013
'cause Papa Clyde loves you
berry, berry much.
383
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:46,363
We gotta make sure
we don't get your di-di wet.
384
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:48,061
We can't get
your di-di wet.
385
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,106
Here,
let me move this.
386
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,934
What the fuck is this?
387
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,327
This feels
like sandpaper.
388
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:56,330
Hey, buddy-boy, is this
comfortable for you?
389
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:57,897
I didn't think so.
I can't have
390
00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,508
my buddy-boy's balls
tucked in 40 grit.
391
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:02,423
Let me take care of this.
I'll be right back.
392
00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:08,603
Hey, Coach.
393
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:09,691
Put me in.
394
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:12,955
Make me a champion.
395
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,739
Sorry.
396
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:16,872
-No can do.
-What?! Why?
397
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,047
I'm in a pickle here.
398
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:20,876
I only make
grand champion.
399
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,269
First two weeks,
400
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:24,662
we break down
what type of man you are.
401
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:26,577
Next two months,
we learn--
402
00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:28,753
Actually, the fight
is tonight.
403
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:32,975
We have to skip a lot.
404
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,629
-Sure, sure.
-Tonight, really?
405
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,022
Yeah, in, like,
four hours.
406
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:39,721
Huh, well, we should
really begin.
407
00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,288
Prepare yourself
408
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:44,595
for the most intense
training in your life.
409
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:47,337
[yelling]
410
00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:50,253
♪
411
00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:55,171
In sumo,
fat equals muscle.
412
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,956
♪
413
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,010
[yells]
414
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:11,144
I can't eat
any more. Mm.
415
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:19,674
In sumo,
sleep is cardio.
416
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,981
♪
417
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,778
Oh!
[laughs]
418
00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,823
♪
419
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,521
You're ready.
420
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:42,653
Yes, I am.
421
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,394
♪
422
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,008
[chatter]
423
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:59,670
Out there
is opportunity.
424
00:16:59,714 --> 00:17:03,196
In here is chocolate chip
cookie dough.
425
00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:06,851
In here is a ninth grade
reading level.
426
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:08,723
-Seventh grade.
-Even better.
427
00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:10,768
-Yeah.
-Opportunity.
428
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,422
Chocolate chip
cookie dough.
429
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,424
-Ninth grade reading level.
-Seventh grade.
430
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:18,950
This is where the rubber
meets the road.
431
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:20,517
♪
432
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,651
[exhales]
433
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,877
Oh, shit.
Time-out.
434
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,879
Time-out.
I got it in my eyes.
435
00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:36,968
-[spits]
-On my right...
436
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:39,884
-[coughs]
-...winner of the Emperor's Cup
437
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:41,930
six years running,
438
00:17:41,973 --> 00:17:46,413
the mighty Yokozuna!
439
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:48,632
-[cheering]
-Boo!
440
00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:50,939
Nothing!
He ain't got shit.
441
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,767
On my left...
442
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:55,639
-Pac!
-Pancake!
443
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:57,467
No, come on.
No, don't call me that.
444
00:17:57,511 --> 00:18:00,122
-Come on, man.
-All right, you know the deal.
445
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,037
Actually, a quick refresher
if you don't mind.
446
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,604
Three rounds,
447
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,867
nothing touches sand
but the soles of your feet,
448
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,956
-and stay in the circle.
-Oh, yeah.
449
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,479
Piece of pancake.
450
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:11,394
♪
451
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:15,006
Seize your opportunity.
452
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:17,096
You are a natural, Pac.
453
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:21,752
Is this it?
454
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,667
We just stare
at each other?
455
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,104
-For how long?
-Hai!
456
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,583
Oh, shit!
457
00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:28,933
[grunting in slo-mo]
458
00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:30,718
[cheering]
459
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,546
The fuck?
460
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,069
Relax.
461
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,984
Remember
your training.
462
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,551
I just slept
and ate a bunch.
463
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:38,900
You said I was
a fucking natural.
464
00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:40,380
Oh.
465
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:41,598
I was wrong.
466
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,819
♪
467
00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:49,563
♪
468
00:18:58,398 --> 00:18:59,529
Oh, Clyde!
469
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,794
[cheering]
470
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:05,056
Okay?
471
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:06,319
Yeah!
472
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,498
-Yes!
-[whooping]
473
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:14,805
[laughing]
474
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:17,068
-[blowing raspberries]
-[grunts]
475
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:18,287
Shit.
476
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:23,510
[chanting]
Pancake! Pancake!
477
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:26,469
Pancake! Pancake!
478
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:28,254
I love you,
Pancake!
479
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,430
Pancake! Pancake!
480
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:34,303
♪
481
00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:41,441
Oh!
482
00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:42,964
[growls]
483
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:45,358
[cheering]
484
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:47,316
♪
485
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,277
[grunts]
486
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,887
[grunting in slo-mo]
487
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:54,236
Shit!
488
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,281
[grunts]
489
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,414
[whistles]
490
00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:00,024
-[cheering]
-[grunts]
491
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,375
[grunting]
492
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:14,474
[slo-mo]
No!
493
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:19,435
[laughing]
494
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,263
Yeah!
495
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,961
[cheering]
496
00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:27,443
Oh, that's why the loincloth
was so rough and thick.
497
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:30,098
They should really specify
no fabric softener.
498
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:33,841
Your new grand champion
of the world!
499
00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:35,408
Pancake!
500
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:37,236
No, no, no, no.
Not Pancake.
501
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,629
Pac, Pac, Pac, Pac!
502
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,675
[cheering continues]
503
00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:50,510
-Pac!
-Dude!
504
00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:51,772
-Yo!
-Dude!
505
00:20:51,815 --> 00:20:53,208
Shit, Clyde,
you believe it?
506
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,427
I beat that big
son of a bitch, man!
507
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,342
-I did it! I saved you.
-Oh, my God!
508
00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:58,822
-My belt!
-Oh!
509
00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:01,085
-Oh, my belt!
-Oh.
510
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:03,610
I missed you so much.
[sobbing]
511
00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:11,357
Pancake
back in the house!
512
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,097
Know what, I still don't know
if I love that nickname.
513
00:21:13,141 --> 00:21:14,490
-It's, uh...
-Wait, wait.
514
00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:15,926
One thing I'm still
confused about
515
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:18,102
is how did we end up
switching clothes?
516
00:21:18,146 --> 00:21:20,409
Well, you were convinced
if we switched clothes,
517
00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:23,020
we can also switch bodies
like in "Freaky Friday."
518
00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:24,370
You just went
on and on about that.
519
00:21:24,413 --> 00:21:25,893
What?
[laughs]
520
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,982
Man, I must've been
fucked up!
521
00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:29,592
Yeah-yer!
522
00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:32,160
To think I'd want
that baby dump of a body.
523
00:21:32,203 --> 00:21:33,509
[laughing]
524
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:34,728
Wait, Clyde,
I don't understand.
525
00:21:34,771 --> 00:21:35,816
How do you remember
all that?
526
00:21:35,859 --> 00:21:36,904
I wasn't drunk.
527
00:21:36,947 --> 00:21:38,253
I mean,
we said one beer, right?
528
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,559
We even toasted
to one beer.
529
00:21:39,602 --> 00:21:40,908
A toast is sacred.
530
00:21:40,951 --> 00:21:41,952
What?
531
00:21:41,996 --> 00:21:44,259
We got shit-faced.
532
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,044
-[slurping]
-Who the fuck are these people?
533
00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:49,656
Mom, Dad! Oh!
534
00:21:49,699 --> 00:21:51,222
Oh.
535
00:21:51,266 --> 00:21:53,268
Thank you
for letting them move in.
536
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,314
So kind of you,
Daniel.
537
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:56,619
He's just the kind
of guy
538
00:21:56,663 --> 00:21:58,360
I wanna marry
and settle down with.
539
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:02,233
[giggles]
540
00:22:02,277 --> 00:22:04,497
♪
35958
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