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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:07,790 ♪ 2 00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:09,357 Because when it comes to finishing 3 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,662 ghosts' unfinished business, 4 00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:14,318 our business is "boo-ming." 5 00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,277 Ahem, and with the help of your investment, 6 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:19,019 we can take this thing all the way to the top. 7 00:00:20,977 --> 00:00:22,718 But how? B-but how? 8 00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:24,154 Very good question. 9 00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:25,938 We're going to invest your money 10 00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:27,592 using a very robust 11 00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:29,638 three-point business plan. 12 00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,161 Point number one, 13 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,902 -matching uniforms. -Obviously. 14 00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,643 Number two, 15 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:37,515 -spend money to make money! -Spend money to make money! 16 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:38,951 [imitates explosion] 17 00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:40,083 -And number three... -[sighs] 18 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,954 -...marketing. -We all know 19 00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:43,260 that skywriter planes 20 00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:44,348 are the most effective marketing tool 21 00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:45,567 in the sky today. 22 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:47,090 You put something in the air, 23 00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,396 -I'm gonna see it. -But, dang it, Clyde, 24 00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,354 planes are so expensive! 25 00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,226 Ah, if only there were a way 26 00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:54,402 to make airborne messaging more affordable. 27 00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:57,318 What if I told you there was? 28 00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:01,017 -[coos] -"Pigeonvertising"! 29 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,324 Birds in T-shirts. 30 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:04,716 Guys, you want my honest opinion? 31 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,283 -Yes, please. -You're beating off 32 00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:07,937 the wrong tree, all right? 33 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:10,331 I mean, even if I saw the bird wearing the shirt, 34 00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,159 I don't think I'd care 35 00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:14,291 'cause it's-- it's fucking stupid, you know? 36 00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:16,380 Uh-huh. Yeah. No, I had that thought. 37 00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:17,729 No, you said you liked the T-shirts. 38 00:01:17,773 --> 00:01:20,602 Well, no. I said that I liked tank tops. 39 00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:22,517 It doesn't have shoulders. It's a fucking bird. 40 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,301 Clyde, how many times do we have to go over this? 41 00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,650 Are you kidding me? 42 00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:26,825 Where are the fucking shoulders? 43 00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:28,653 Guys, guys. 44 00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:30,220 I'm sorry. 45 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,526 I'm out. 46 00:01:31,569 --> 00:01:33,049 -Ah. -But... 47 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,357 I will give you my best business advice. 48 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,490 -Go bigger. -That's good. Do you have a pen? 49 00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:41,275 That's the motto for my new dildo line. 50 00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:43,190 It's the way I live my life. 51 00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:46,454 All right. I've had over 97 casts taken of my dick 52 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,978 in the past three days, and I'll be honest with you, 53 00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:51,198 the first one was pretty damn near perfect, 54 00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:54,592 but I said go bigger. 55 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,551 You wanna play the game at my level? 56 00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:59,162 You gotta get your dicks out and show the world 57 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:00,685 -how you fuck. -[unzips] 58 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:03,035 And by that, I mean get a high-profile case 59 00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:04,515 -that makes headlines. -Oh. 60 00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,734 Yeah. Shit. Yeah. 61 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:07,170 Okay, yep. No, good call. 62 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:08,693 That's another way to go. 63 00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:11,261 ♪ 64 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:43,337 ♪ 65 00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,904 Mr. Pacalioglu, welcome to San Damien Prison. 66 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:48,429 You didn't have any trouble getting here, did you? 67 00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,691 No, no, no, no. No, the, uh-- 68 00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,388 the guards made quite the spectacle 69 00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:52,476 of my arrival at the front gate, 70 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:53,912 but my pants are back on now 71 00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,653 and I'm, uh-- I'm feeling good. 72 00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,307 Listen, as I mentioned in my email, 73 00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:58,700 I don't have a lot of money in the budget. 74 00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:00,354 -Mm-hmm. -But I'm hoping this case 75 00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,920 could be some decent exposure for you. 76 00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:04,271 I don't wanna say we're "the" celebrity prison, 77 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:07,187 but any rapist or murderer whose name you would know 78 00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,710 has come through here at some point. 79 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,364 That is exactly the kind of case I'm looking for. 80 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,453 So, uh, do you mind telling me what's going on? 81 00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,456 Cell doors opening on their own. 82 00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:16,848 Mm-hmm. 83 00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:19,024 Floating markers drawing penises 84 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,417 on my guards' faces. 85 00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,853 Got it. Okay. 86 00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:23,159 Very interesting. 87 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,378 Okay, do you mind showing me 88 00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:25,422 where the haunting has occurred? 89 00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:28,033 Mm-hmm. I see. 90 00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:30,035 I'm not sure if it's meant to be threatening 91 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,515 or sensual. 92 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:32,995 Hush, hush, hush, hush. 93 00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:37,347 Okay, now we can clean it off. 94 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:44,267 Oh. [clears throat] 95 00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:46,356 Excuse me. Hi. 96 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,358 What is a beautiful woman like you 97 00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,273 doing in a place like this? 98 00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,362 -Uh, you can see me? -Yeah. 99 00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:53,972 I can. What-- what do you got there? 100 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,539 You got a hummingbird on your boo-- your breast? 101 00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:58,020 I'm dead, dude, and hard-core lesbian. 102 00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:00,109 Oh! No, no, no. I'm not-- I'm not hitting on you. 103 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,676 I'm not even sure how to do that, really. 104 00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:03,155 I just-- just admiring 105 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,245 your hummingbird tattoo, honestly. 106 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,377 Um, I have 67 tattoos on my body. 107 00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:09,901 You like the one generic one on my tit? 108 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,860 Okay, I feel like 109 00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,731 maybe we got off on the wrong tit here, 110 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,907 so I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna take it back. 111 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,474 I'm trying to figure out what you're doing here, 112 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:18,736 if you have any unfinished business 113 00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:20,347 that I can help you with of any kind. 114 00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,957 I was in the middle of inking someone when I died. 115 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,524 I can't leave that canvas unfinished. 116 00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,830 Okay, tattoo. Easy-peasy. 117 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:29,094 -Got it. Let's go. -It's a very special tattoo. 118 00:04:29,138 --> 00:04:30,705 A windmill. 119 00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,663 Owen, my canvas, 120 00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,187 he grew up by a windmill on the shores of Cape Cod. 121 00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:37,712 He played by it every day with his brother. 122 00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,670 He wanted that tattoo to commemorate 123 00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:41,368 the happiest time of his life 124 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,021 before things got tough. 125 00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,501 Before he ended up here. 126 00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,111 Cool. 127 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:47,809 Windmill. Got it. Let's go. 128 00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:50,986 I guess I saw a piece of myself in that tattoo. 129 00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:52,988 Sure, I've said that about a lot of tattoos, 130 00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:54,729 but this one was... 131 00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,687 -different. -Still talking? 132 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,341 -Innocent. -Fine. 133 00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,517 -Pure like... -Come on. 134 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:03,564 ...Mozart or Shakespeare 135 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:06,349 or Patti Smith. 136 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:07,959 Are you still talking?! 137 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,135 Well, she's a bit of a motormouth, inked-up dink, 138 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,703 but, uh, the job seems pretty straightforward, fortunately. 139 00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,488 All I have to do is get this Owen guy out, 140 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,228 finish his tattoo, she'll go into her light, 141 00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:17,839 and Bob's your uncle, we're back in business. 142 00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,493 -Oh, perfect. -Yeah. 143 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,886 -One small problem. -Okay. 144 00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,453 We can't just take an inmate out, 145 00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:25,325 give them a tattoo, and then stick them back in 146 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,543 because he's gonna look like a rat. 147 00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:27,631 Oh, okay. Well, you know, 148 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:28,937 the tricky thing about ghosts 149 00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,678 is that they wants what they wants. 150 00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:31,896 Mm, can't take him out, 151 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:35,639 so we'll just send you in. 152 00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:39,556 That seems more complicated than the words made it sound. 153 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,949 Damn it. 154 00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:43,343 [door opens] 155 00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,214 And this is where you'll be staying. 156 00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,607 And this is Giovanni. 157 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:49,174 He is as non-violent as they come. 158 00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:51,525 Just a very mediocre bank robber. 159 00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:53,091 Hi, I'm Pac. 160 00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:54,745 Pac, pleasure to meet you. 161 00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:56,356 -Yeah. -And what else? 162 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,706 Uh, oh, gym time's in 10. 163 00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,621 And I think that's everything. 164 00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,362 -[chuckles] -Holler if you need me. 165 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,189 -Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. -[door buzzes] 166 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:08,846 First time? You seem nervous. 167 00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:10,848 Uh, yeah, I've, ahem, 168 00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,372 been in holding cells, for sure, 169 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,374 but, uh, you know, this is definitely more... 170 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,071 full-on incarceration than I'm used to. 171 00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:18,073 Well, the good thing about prison 172 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:20,292 is you have all the time to figure it out. 173 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,033 Look at me, 42, 174 00:06:22,077 --> 00:06:23,731 -learning how to read. -Good for you, man. 175 00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:25,167 That's, uh-- that's a good attitude. 176 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,256 Attitude's all we got. 177 00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:29,084 Now, if you'll excuse me, 178 00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:31,303 I'm just under a month away 179 00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:33,175 from finishing chapter two. 180 00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:34,872 Yeah, okay. Yeah, don't let me stop you. 181 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:37,614 -[clears throat] -Chapter two is the best. 182 00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:40,443 Ah! What the fuck are you doing? 183 00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,879 What? I was just-- 184 00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,490 -Huh? -I was just gonna take a pee. 185 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,187 No! Don't pee in the toilet. 186 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,449 That's where I make my toilet wine. 187 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,016 Pee in the sink like a normal person. 188 00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,800 Jesus, what the hell's wrong with you? 189 00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,106 They arrest you for being stupid? 190 00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:52,281 No! 191 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:53,587 Just kidding. 192 00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:55,240 But seriously, pee in the sink. 193 00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,590 Okay. 194 00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,374 "Pant-i-yes. 195 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,158 Panties. Pa..." 196 00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:05,642 "Panties. Pulled down my panties." 197 00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:11,169 Let's go, let's go, let's go! 198 00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:16,131 Yeah, I mean, that's basically it. 199 00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:17,437 Yeah, it's a windmill. 200 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,655 I know what a windmill looks like. 201 00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:20,222 Okay, but that's not really... 202 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:21,658 -Oh, whatever. Where's the guy? -Over there. 203 00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:26,576 See? I barely even got those fan blades started. 204 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,795 It's just an unfinished mess. 205 00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:29,449 Is that a windmill? 206 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,189 Yeah! See, I mean, you can't even fucking tell. 207 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:32,408 It's humiliating. 208 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,931 Way to go, baby. Give it to him. 209 00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:36,194 -Hurry up. -The fuck are you looking at? 210 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,805 Oh, no. Don't worry. 211 00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:39,197 He's a really gentle guy. 212 00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,634 It's just the system has changed him. 213 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,549 Pussy. 214 00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:49,686 I'm just saying that maybe your unfinished windmill 215 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,688 is his finished swastika. 216 00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,124 What? Swastika? 217 00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:55,344 No, those are the sun-soaked fan blades 218 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,912 of a happy windmill-- innocent and pure. 219 00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,130 Okay. 220 00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:00,480 I mean, if you don't finish it, 221 00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:03,178 yeah, it looks a little... swastik-y. 222 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,180 All right. 223 00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,703 I'm just saying. 224 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:11,534 Whoo. Hello, hey, brothers. What are you watching, huh? 225 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,493 -Oh, shit! Whoa! -[TV turns off] 226 00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,277 I'm sorry. Oh, shit! 227 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,148 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about that. 228 00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,542 That is my bad and I am gonna fix it. 229 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,718 Look at this. Oh, shit, it's that thing 230 00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:23,328 where the prong is bent in the wrong direction. 231 00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:25,940 Bend it back and I-- I'll plug it in. 232 00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,811 Just give me a couple seconds here. I can do it. 233 00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:30,074 Shit! No, that's gonna break. 234 00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,772 [exhales] 235 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:34,514 How-- how fucking white are we, right? 236 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,211 So fucking white, man! 237 00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,473 You could shut off the lights in this room 238 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,605 and everything would still glow. 239 00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:40,128 [laughs] You know what I mean? 240 00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:41,738 I should go. I should probably go. 241 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:44,175 You fuck with me time, you live on borrowed time. 242 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:45,916 -White power. -White power! 243 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,222 [clangs] 244 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,353 Back in your cells. Let's go. 245 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:49,746 -Back through here? -Yep. 246 00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:52,575 Okay, cool. Wow, that escalated quick, huh? 247 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,185 -Yeah. Yeah. -[sighs] 248 00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:55,970 That's kind of the way it works in here. 249 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,275 Yeah, I'm getting that. 250 00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,016 Yeah, you want my advice, 251 00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:01,323 you lay low, you be your own best friend. 252 00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,934 Oh, it's just I need to get to Owen somehow, you know? 253 00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,936 He's surrounded by his Nazi buddies 254 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:07,547 and I just-- I don't think they like me very much. 255 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,984 -Nah, they don't. -Fuck. 256 00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:11,333 Gotta get him alone, you know, 257 00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:12,682 or send him a message. 258 00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,075 Can you send people messages in here? 259 00:09:14,118 --> 00:09:15,772 Well, you know, I might be able to help. 260 00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,557 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 261 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,169 Of course, in here we trade favors for favors. 262 00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:22,605 Oh, sure, sure, sure! Yeah, anything. 263 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,303 [stammering] Well, I mean, not anything, 264 00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:26,522 but, you know, within reason. 265 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,784 What did you have in mind? 266 00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:32,180 Read to me? 267 00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:33,224 Read to you? 268 00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:37,315 -So I will just read. -Mm-hmm. 269 00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:38,969 Do you have anywhere in particular you want me to start? 270 00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:41,276 -No. Anywhere is fine. -Okay. 271 00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:43,670 Just snuggle in and read. Here we go. 272 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,541 Okay. 273 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:49,066 "Mr. Green unlatched the velvet strap from her heels 274 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,591 and quietly removed the shoes from her feet. 275 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,593 -[bed squeaking] -He was"-- what's that noise? 276 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,029 Hmm? Nothing. 277 00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,247 Keep reading. 278 00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:57,292 You're a really good reader. 279 00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,554 -I am? -Yeah. 280 00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,642 -Awesome. -Thanks, man. 281 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:02,210 -Yeah. -[chuckles] Okay. 282 00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,820 -Mm-hmm. -"sniffing at her toes 283 00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:06,388 as he bit his lip and quietly removed his pants." 284 00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,042 It's that. That sound right there. Do you hear that? 285 00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,652 -Huh? I don't know. -You don't hear that? 286 00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:12,176 No. It's jail. Sounds like jail. 287 00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:14,831 -Just read. -Jail sounds crazy. 288 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,616 Okay. 289 00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:18,661 -[cooing] -See? Bird shirts 290 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,620 is a good idea, Danny. 291 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,407 [thuds] 292 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,235 Uh... 293 00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,019 oh, wing holes! 294 00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:31,065 Fuck me, wing holes! 295 00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:32,066 Sorry, bird. 296 00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,981 [chatter] 297 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,199 Oh, he's alone. 298 00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:37,027 Uh, hey. Hi, sorry. 299 00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:38,942 I just-- I'm-- excuse me. 300 00:10:38,986 --> 00:10:40,509 Sorry, diabetic coming through. 301 00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,511 [stammering] I just need-- I have low blood sugar. 302 00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:43,947 I gotta-- I gotta talk to this guy. 303 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,819 Excuse me. Hey. Hey, man. 304 00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,516 What's up? It's Owen, right? 305 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:48,996 Better back the fuck off, man. 306 00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:50,824 Hey, so listen, I'm really sorry about earlier. 307 00:10:50,867 --> 00:10:52,173 I ain't looking for no friends, 308 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:53,391 you fake-white doughboy motherfucker. 309 00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,219 Okay, I'll cut the small talk. 310 00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:56,568 I'm here about a tattoo. 311 00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:59,354 I-- fucking shit! [groans] 312 00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:01,312 Windmill. Windmill. Shores of Cape Cod. 313 00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:02,705 You used to play with your little brother. 314 00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,576 Happiest time of your life. [groans] 315 00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:05,882 Where the fuck did you hear that? 316 00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:07,231 If you remove the fork from my hand, 317 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,016 I'll gladly tell you. 318 00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,452 Ah, thank God. 319 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,280 -Okay, so-- -Shh, shh, shh, shh. 320 00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:13,890 Go eat lunch. 321 00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:16,153 Wait for my signal, then meet me in the bathroom. 322 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,112 If anyone asks, we're talking about raping you, all right? 323 00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:21,593 Fantastic. Okay. Is that pudding? 324 00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,987 [chatter] 325 00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:25,728 He gets fucking pulled over by the cops. 326 00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,556 I mean, the guy's dead. 327 00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:29,471 Are you sure you're even white, dude? 328 00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,168 [groans] 329 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:35,782 That was for you, Pac! 330 00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:37,871 Riot! 331 00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:39,960 No. 332 00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:41,962 [men chanting] 333 00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,619 You're fucking dead! 334 00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:55,453 All right, bunk check! 335 00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,325 Everybody back in their fucking cells! 336 00:11:57,368 --> 00:12:00,154 Yeah, that's good. How do we get back? 337 00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:02,286 This way? Okay. Excuse me. 338 00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:07,552 -Why did you shank him? -You wanted to send a message! 339 00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:09,816 -Yeah, not that message! -W-what kind of message? 340 00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,687 I'd like to finish your tattoo. 341 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,907 -I don't have a tattoo. -No, that was the message! 342 00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:16,039 Oh. You could've just told me that. 343 00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,345 No shit. 344 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,129 Hey there. Don't let it scare you. 345 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,914 These things are like rain in Miami. 346 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,393 -Okay. -It'll pass. 347 00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:23,481 So, here's what we're gonna do-- 348 00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:24,787 [grunting, groaning] 349 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,311 -Oh, God! -Oh, shit! Oh, my God. 350 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,052 -[yelling] -No, no, no, no, no! 351 00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:31,620 Jesus! Can one of you open the door, please? 352 00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,013 A little help over here! 353 00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:34,710 A little help. Hey, buddy, a little help? 354 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,716 -[screams] -Mr. Warden? 355 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,109 Sir, can you hear me? 356 00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:44,154 I need your keys so I can go home. 357 00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:46,243 Hey! What about my tattoo? 358 00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:48,463 Oh, you know what? I would love to finish your tattoo, 359 00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:49,856 but I'm right smack-dab 360 00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,466 in the middle of a race riot right now, so-- 361 00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:52,815 unless you know of a better way to get out of here. 362 00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,208 I know a way out. 363 00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,600 So I'm gonna need you to dig around 364 00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:56,863 in those pockets of yours and hand me 365 00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,125 whatever keys I need to get going. 366 00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,691 I never bring my keys to a riot. 367 00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,128 That would make me their first target. [scoffs] 368 00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,651 -Yeah. [blows raspberry] -But don't worry. 369 00:13:02,694 --> 00:13:04,522 -I got a better plan. -Uh, I bet you don't. 370 00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:06,742 Prison break. It's the only way for me 371 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,527 to finish the job I started when I came to this place. 372 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,703 We've been underfunded for 25 years 373 00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:13,314 and the politicians don't give a damn. 374 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,098 But if an inmate were to escape, 375 00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:18,536 especially one as out of shape and unimpressive as you, 376 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,887 well, now that sends a message they can't ignore. 377 00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:23,106 -Oh, I bet it would. -I feel like this plan 378 00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,021 is a little bit more insulting than the last one. 379 00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:26,718 As long as it gets me to that tattoo, 380 00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,982 -I'm in. -Are you serious? 381 00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:30,722 You know what? Fuck you guys. 382 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,463 Fuck your tattoo. Fuck your stupid plans. 383 00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,117 You make it sound so simple 384 00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:35,510 and then it's Nazis and neck stabs all day long. 385 00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:37,251 -Pac! -What? Oh! 386 00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:39,557 Snap out of it! You're talking to empty hallways, man! 387 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,211 You're letting prison get to you! 388 00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,952 Giovanni, I appreciate where you're coming from, 389 00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,519 but right now, I really need you to let me do my thing, okay? 390 00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,260 Fuck you! I'm in. Break me out. 391 00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:49,654 Perfect. We'll do it all with simple household objects. 392 00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:52,396 ♪ 393 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:02,842 [screams] 394 00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,543 Who's Allen? 395 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,593 Oh, an Allen wrench. 396 00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,857 ♪ 397 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,342 Here you go. Get that scent. 398 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:26,778 Now go to Pac. 399 00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:28,606 ♪ 400 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,788 Hey, I'm having a little indigestion. 401 00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:43,099 [exhales] The carrier pigeon is in flight. 402 00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:45,319 Great. What's next? 403 00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,757 Next, we wait for nightfall. 404 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,194 Help! There's something wrong with him! 405 00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:52,543 [moaning] 406 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,676 He just started vomiting at the puss. 407 00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:55,851 [grunts] 408 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,374 I'm sorry! I'm sorry. 409 00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:58,898 Thank you for your service. 410 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,551 Okay, okay. 411 00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:02,205 You sure you don't wanna come with me? 412 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,860 No. I belong here. 413 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,297 But you keep up your end of the deal. 414 00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:08,777 I will. 415 00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:13,216 Promise me, Pac. 416 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:16,263 -Promise me! -I promise! 417 00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,618 -Oh, shit, it worked. -[cooing] 418 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,185 Like a Swiss fucking watch. 419 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,361 Fuck, shit! 420 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:28,971 Fuck. 421 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:31,974 Hey. Hey. 422 00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,584 [cooing] 423 00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:35,543 Psst, psst, psst, psst. [clicks tongue] Come here. 424 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,023 Fuck. 425 00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:39,155 God, I wish I had something to feed you. I-- 426 00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:40,940 Hang on a tick. 427 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,682 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 428 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,510 You like Seltza-Fizz? 429 00:15:46,554 --> 00:15:48,164 -Huh? -[coos] 430 00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,427 Want a little Seltzy? A little Fizzy? Huh? 431 00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:53,517 Yeah. It's kind of like a shitty Halloween candy, right? 432 00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:55,258 Go for it, come on. Oh. 433 00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,956 Oh, something's-- 434 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,783 -[explosion] -Oh! 435 00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,133 [spits] 436 00:16:00,176 --> 00:16:02,483 Right. That's what happens 437 00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:04,528 when you feed Seltza-Fizz to a bird. 438 00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:06,182 Shit. Oh. 439 00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:10,099 I'm sorry. Thank you for your service. 440 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,405 [kisses] 441 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,105 Hey, here comes the easy part. 442 00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:18,064 Use those keys to get into the guards' bathroom. 443 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,153 Go to the second stall under the floor bolts 444 00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:21,241 -and remove the toilet. -Wait, 445 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:22,459 I'm going through a toilet? 446 00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:23,983 It's the biggest pipe we have 447 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,159 and it's our best chance 448 00:16:26,202 --> 00:16:27,899 of squeezing this pig through the straw 449 00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:29,771 -if you know what I mean. -Yeah, the fat comments 450 00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:31,816 are coming through loud and clear, thank you very much. 451 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:33,993 -Oh, shit! -I'm gonna fuck you 452 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:36,386 -through these bars! -I don't consent to that! 453 00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:38,649 -[grunting] -[yelling] 454 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,957 -[grunting] -[panting] 455 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,654 Get back here, you fucking cocktease! 456 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:54,100 [exhales] 457 00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:55,884 Let's do this. 458 00:16:57,973 --> 00:16:59,757 [bolt squeaking] 459 00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:01,498 ♪ 460 00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:15,382 [bolt squeaks] 461 00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:18,646 Hello? 462 00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,824 Huh. 463 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,260 Must be hearing ghost farts. 464 00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,306 -[farts] -[bolt squeaks] 465 00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:28,873 -[farts] -[bolt squeaks] 466 00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:34,488 -[farting] -[bolt squeaking] 467 00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:36,142 [exhales] 468 00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:38,187 [toilet flushes] 469 00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:39,841 ♪ 470 00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:44,976 [grunts] 471 00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,456 Oh, sure, 472 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,502 I'll take a high-profile case. 473 00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:49,938 Ah, yeah. 474 00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:52,114 Prison sounds like a great fucking idea. 475 00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,682 [groans] And then can I crawl through tunnels 476 00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,031 full of human shit 477 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,815 while white people try and kill me? 478 00:17:57,859 --> 00:18:01,167 Oh, yeah, who doesn't fucking love that? 479 00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:02,733 This guy! I-- 480 00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:04,605 Oh, oh, shit! [spits] 481 00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:07,042 Oh, God! Oh, I got shit in my mouth. 482 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,131 Oh, that's definitely shit. [spits] 483 00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:10,872 Oh, fuck. 484 00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:12,352 [exhales] 485 00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:15,746 ♪ 486 00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,358 [sniffs, sighs] 487 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,970 Hey, guard, there's a prison break! 488 00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:25,147 Uh, we got a situation. 489 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,106 Check the security of your cell block. 490 00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:29,108 [urinating] 491 00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:32,546 ♪ 492 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,983 [alarm blaring] 493 00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:43,122 Hey, I know that guy. 494 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,341 Dump the body in the hole. Get in the bag. 495 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,735 Oh, right. Yeah, okay. 496 00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:49,389 What hole? Dump it in what hole? 497 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,739 Hey, asshole! I asked you for one thing. 498 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:52,870 Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna 499 00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,394 make my way to freedom first 500 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:55,743 -and then we'll talk next steps. -Oh, really? 501 00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:57,353 What if I make a bunch of noise? 502 00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:58,615 Don't, don't, don't, don't! Stop! 503 00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,487 Okay. Shh. Stop, stop. Okay. 504 00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:02,141 I'll finish the fucking tattoo. 505 00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,751 Wait a second. 506 00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:05,405 We don't have a tattoo gun. 507 00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,189 How were we gonna deal with that originally? 508 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:09,626 It's a prison tat. You make it work. That's art. 509 00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:11,976 You start with an idea, you work with the reality, 510 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:15,197 and where the two meet, beauty is blossoming 511 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,895 like a-- like a tiny tangerine-- 512 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,070 Shh, okay, shut up. You're not even 513 00:19:19,114 --> 00:19:20,115 making sense anymore. 514 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,508 -Well... -I figured it out. 515 00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,292 -Make a little incision here. -Oh... 516 00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,728 -Oh, fuck. -See, I wouldn't have 517 00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,077 done it that way. 518 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:27,688 That's a lot more blood than I thought. 519 00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:30,169 -Okay. -Yeah... 520 00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,693 -You're like a five-year-old. -Hold on. Stop talking, please. 521 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,000 Okay, look at that. Boom. Windmill. 522 00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,741 That looks like a penis with a fan on it. 523 00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:40,744 What? You clearly have not seen very many penises in your life. 524 00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:41,919 Look at it, it's a windmill! 525 00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,356 Ah. 526 00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:44,574 Okay, fine. Shut up. I'll make a door. 527 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:45,923 Here we go. 528 00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,664 There we go. One door. 529 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:53,540 Oh, yeah, yeah, now I see it. 530 00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:55,716 -Yeah? -It's different. 531 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,196 I like it. 532 00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:00,938 -I love it. -Really? 533 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,157 You guys like it? 534 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,941 I mean, 535 00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:05,987 I usually consider myself more of a colorer than a drawer, 536 00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:08,685 but, you know, once you lock into a theme, it's like-- 537 00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,165 Oh, I'm sorry. 538 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,819 Was I talking too much? 539 00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:13,168 What a cunt! 540 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,822 Uh, eyes on the prize, fat boy. 541 00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:16,650 [radio chatter] 542 00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,173 Oh, shit. 543 00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,220 Uh, sorry, buddy. 544 00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:30,359 [alarm continues] 545 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,237 [sneezes] 546 00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:45,461 I'm alive? 547 00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:49,770 I'm alive! [laughs] 548 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:52,512 I just wanna say sorry for the mix-up. 549 00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:55,341 We have no record of your arrest or why you're here, 550 00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:57,168 so we're legally required to let you go. 551 00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:58,909 -Oh. -But the good news is 552 00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:01,085 this little snafu has ruffled enough feathers 553 00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,826 that we're finally gonna get the funding we need 554 00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:06,047 to ensure a safe and secure prison moving forward. 555 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:07,788 Guess it worked out after all, huh? 556 00:21:07,831 --> 00:21:09,137 [clicks tongue] 557 00:21:13,837 --> 00:21:15,709 -Ahem. -After all, 558 00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:19,539 if someone as unathletic and mentally dull as yourself 559 00:21:19,582 --> 00:21:21,410 broke into our prison and then got out-- 560 00:21:21,454 --> 00:21:23,325 Yeah, all right, I don't need the whole explanation, okay? 561 00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:25,458 I just wanna go home, have a hot toddy, 562 00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:27,286 put this high-profile case on my website. 563 00:21:27,329 --> 00:21:29,853 Uh, no, we can't let you do that. 564 00:21:29,897 --> 00:21:31,290 Testimonial? 565 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:32,378 Sorry. 566 00:21:32,421 --> 00:21:34,249 -Can I get paid? -No. 567 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,730 -Ah. -But thank you for your service. 568 00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:39,472 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. 569 00:21:39,515 --> 00:21:40,647 Yeah. 570 00:21:42,866 --> 00:21:45,173 -Inmate, package! -[door buzzes] 571 00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:50,961 Hey, G. As promised, my end of the bargain. P. 572 00:21:51,005 --> 00:21:53,790 "50 Shades of Green" by S.E. Tabernacle. 573 00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:56,184 Audio recording by Kevin Pacalioglu. 574 00:21:56,227 --> 00:21:58,273 Chapter One: Seduction. 575 00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,535 -[zipper unzips] -"Anastasia was 576 00:21:59,579 --> 00:22:00,971 a painfully shy girl. 577 00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:02,408 She always had been. 578 00:22:02,451 --> 00:22:05,236 At times in her life, she'd often mistaken"... 579 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,152 ♪ 40492

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