All language subtitles for The Neighborhood S01E20

[man panting]

Hey, Calvin.

Hey, how was your run?

Oh, it was great; I did five
miles but I could really use...

...some new shoes.

Oh, my bad.

I thought you were
gonna say "cool down."

Hey, did you see the ambulance

in front of Mr. Benson's
last night?

Yeah.

Any idea what happened?
I want to get some intel

so I can update our
neighborhood Facebook page.

We have a neighborhood
Facebook page?

How many people are on it?

[chuckles] Well,
as soon as you accept

my friend request, two.

So do you know what happened
to Mr. Benson?

Yeah.

He dead.

Whoa, wha-what? Calvin.

That-- that's terrible.

You wouldn't say that
if you knew him.

I mean...

there's a reason that people
in this neighborhood

called him
"Mean Mr. Benson."

I didn't know they
called him that.

Yeah, probably like
you don't know

they call you "Bobblehead Dave."

Oh, I know it
and I love it.

So what was so mean
about Mr. Benson?

Oh, everything.
The man has terrorized

this neighborhood
since I was a kid.

Always yelling at people
to cut their grass

or pull their trash cans up.

And if ever I had a ball
or a Frisbee go into his yard,

never saw it again.

[chuckles] You know,
that actually reminds me.

I accidentally
threw our Frisbee

into your backyard
the other day.

Green one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Haven't seen it.

Well, you know--

I'm sure Mr. Benson
wasn't all bad.

I mean, take my
Aunt Phyllis.

Nobody liked her,
but once you got over the fact

that she treated her pets
better than people

and pretty much despised
all of humanity,

she made the most delicious
rhubarb pie.

Well, Mr. Benson was so mean,

not even the Jehovah's Witnesses
would knock on his door.

And they talk to anybody.

I know, aren't
they the best?

But then they're always like,
"We got to go now, Dave."

So, do you know when
they're having his funeral?

I don't know.
He was such a loner.

There probably
won't be one.

And even if there was,
no one would go.

Man, that's so sad, Calvin.

Yeah...
We should
do something

to remember him.

We should put his death on
the neighborhood Facebook page.

What-- So you'll accept
my friend request?

Sure. Just as soon
as he does.

♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood.

Mm.

Oh.

Okay.

"Ten Ways to Please Your Man."

All right, well, let's see

what's on the menu
for this weekend.

Okay, okay, I ain't mad at that.

I see you, number seven.

[chuckling]:
Okay.

Oh, number nine, you just
a little ol' freak.

[laughs]

Let's see what number ten is--
Oh, hell no.

No, nuh-uh, oh.

No, uh-uh.

[grunts]

Oh.

[Tina grunting]

Hey, babe. Oh, hey, Calvin.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's all this?

Well, we just came
from the church meeting

about Mr. Benson passing.

And since he didn't
have any people,

I offered to throw
the repass here.

What?
And then I discovered

that a repass was kind of like
a funeral after-party

and we were off to the races.

Uh, hold on, Tina.

We're not hosting a repass
for somebody I hated.

I wouldn't host one for
myself and I love me.

[chuckles]

Look, I didn't like him
any more than you

but it's the Christian thing
to do and besides,

I've thrown plenty of stuff
for you that I didn't want to.

Like what? Like that end of the year
banquet

for your bowling team
where you all just

sat around and complained
about being robbed.

They overwaxed the lanes, Tina.

[groans]

You know, this repass
has your name

written all over it.

Oh, you mean like my Frisbee?

Hey--

Calvin, don't worry, okay?

I'm pitching in, too:
I'm picking up flowers

and I volunteered
to say a few words on

on Mr. Benson's behalf. But you didn't
even know the man.

And I'm about to change that.

I'm gonna ask people
in the neighborhood

for their fond
memories of him.

Oh, okay.
Here's one.

For Halloween,
he threw rocks at me

and yelled at me,
"Get off my lawn, Wack Ninja!"

I wasn't even a ninja, Dave.

I was a black ghost.

[laughs] Okay.

Calvin, I've never seen
a black ghost.

Well, trust me.
In this neighborhood,

you don't want to walk around
with a white sheet

over your head.
Okay.

Fine, you know what?
Maybe Mr. Benson was

a little bit grumpy.

But I believe that if
you look hard enough,

there's something nice
to say about everybody.

Oh, see? This is about
your bitter old aunt

and her bitter rhubarb pie.

Oh, no, no, no.

My aunt was bitter.

The rhubarb pie was
incredible, Calvin.

It's so nice of you guys
to host Mr. Benson's repass.

Well, it's the
right thing to do.

Get the neighborhood
together,

everybody brings
food and bam!

There's enough leftovers
that Mama doesn't

have to cook for a week.[laughs]

Hey, Mom.

Hi, sweetie.

I've been thinking
about Mr. Benson.

Where do people go
when they die?

Oh, um...

uh, well...

that's a good question.

And the answer
is very complicated.

You see, existence
is a complex thing...

Do you know, Miss Tina?

Well, of course I do.

If you're good, you go
to this glorious place

in the sky called Heaven,
filled with angels

and toys and all the
candy you can eat.

Cool.

See, Mom? Simple.

Well, that wasn't exactly
the answer I was gonna give.

I know, girl, but I
got a repass to plan.

We would have
been here all day.
[chuckles]

I didn't even think about
all the questions

this was gonna raise for Grover.

Well, why don't you just
tell him what you think?

Because that's exactly
what my parents did to me.

They told me what to believe.

I-I'd rather have Grover
figure it out for himself.

I respect that.

I mean, it's blasphemous,
but I respect it.

[laughs]

Hmm.

And what's this?

Looks like somebody wants
an early birthday present.

CALVIN:
Hey, babe.Hey.

Got the food for the repass.

Calvin, what is this?
I told you to get finger foods.

Oh, I did.

You can eat these day-old
bagels with your fingers.

Oh, he's just
being cheap because

Mean Mr. Benson
never paid him

for mowing the lawn
in the summer of '79.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Is there a statute
of limitations

on making a black ghost cry?

Calvin, don't you think

you're being
a little ridiculous?

Just let it go.

Oh.

This from the lady
who had to switch

grocery stores for
being called out

for having more than 12
items in the express lane.

If they're gonna
count gum as an item,

it shouldn't be at the register.

Hey, hey.

Turns out half
my childhood

was in Mean Mr. Benson's
backyard. [chuckles]

Oh, lookee here.

It's Marty's little army doll.

Hey, man. He was
a prisoner of war

for 15 years.

Welcome home, soldier.

So much has changed.
[groans]

Oh, what's that?

Oh, no, Malcolm
still lives here.

Mom, what's a massage parlor?

What? What--

Why would you ask that?

I'm looking for
Heaven on Google Maps

and it says it's
a massage parlor in Koreatown.

Oh, okay, I-I, uh...

I think that's enough
screen time for today.

Hey.

I've been meaning
to talk to you about

what Miss Tina said
about Heaven.

Okay.
It's just that

not everyone sees "heaven"
the same way Miss Tina does.

They don't?
No.

For example, some people
believe that heaven

exists inside your heart.

And others believe that
heaven is here on Earth

and that our souls
just keep coming back

as a new being,
like a turtle or a horse.

Cool. I want to come
back as a dung beetle.

What?

Why would you want that?

It's the world's
strongest insect.

It can carry a thousand
times its body weight.

Yes. Of dung.

I know!

Hey, Dad, I'm gonna be
a dung beetle.

Oh, awesome, buddy.
World's strongest insect.

[sighs]

Hey, babe.
Hey.

Did you have any luck
finding out about Mr. Benson?

No. I went door-to-door
through the entire neighborhood

and the only thing
I heard about him

was that he was from New Orleans

and they wish he had died there.

Geez, he sounds like
a real Aunt Phyllis.

I know, but you--

I'm not giving up until
I find his rhubarb pie.

And you will.

Because you can find
the good in anybody.

Thank you.

But you really got
to stop inviting

the Jehovah's Witnesses
to stay for dinner.

Hey, Miss Kim.
Uh, I knocked on your door

earlier, but I guess
you weren't home.

Oh, no, I was there.

I saw you, Bobblehead Dave.

I, well, you know,
I was just wondering

if you had any positive memories
about Mr. Benson

from before he died.No.

That old bastard.

Tina, how much did we
pay for all this food?

About a half
a bowling party,

not including the trophies
you bought yourselves.

Well, I think it's a
waste of our money

and a waste of
our hospitality.

And why nobody
eating these bagels?
Oh, no.

[pained grunt]

They're delicious.

Oh, shoot, here comes
Miss Kim. Hide me.

Oop-- [laughs]
Too late.
No, no, no.

Oh, Marty.

Aren't you looking
like a whole snack?

Uh, don't you mean
Malcolm?

Ah, Malcolm
got too old.

[laughs]

Well, little brother,
do not break her heart.

Or her hip.

[clears throat]

Marty, you know, I
need someone young

to keep up
with me and...

you look like you've
been working out.

Well, you know, I have been
taking the stairs at work.

[both shouting]

CALVIN:
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

You want to run, go outside.

And who left my door open?

I'm not trying to air condition
the whole neighborhood.

You don't have the A/C on.

Well, they don't know that.

Hey, little boy, come on,
get out of my chair.

You don't have a job,

you haven't earned
the right to recline.

Fine. Mean Mr. Butler.

W-What'd you call me?

He called you Mean Mr. Butler,
you old bastard.

Hey, guys, I really
need your help.

It's down to the wire and no one
has said a single nice thing

about Mr. Benson.

Do you have anything
I can work with?

Well, there was
that one summer he hired us

to plant a vegetable garden.

Oh, right, we grew all those
beautiful tomato plants.

That's exactly
what I'm looking for.

Yeah, then he pelted us
with them

when we rode our bikes
on the sidewalk.

Okay, well, uh,

so far, that's the one to beat.

Hey, I just got called
Mean Mr. Butler.

What? By who?

That little punk,
Apple Head Fred.

Oh.
Oh.

What is he talking about?
I'm not mean.

Well, Dad, just last week,
you called the city

on Kayla Watkins's
lemonade stand

because she didn't have
a "permit."

I was looking out
for the neighborhood.

That little hustler was cutting
the sugar with Sweet'N Low.

Yeah, you're a real pillar
of the community, Pop.

That's what I keep saying.

Look, everybody around
here loves me.

Especially the kids.
You know what?

I'll prove it. Oh, no, no.
No.

No, no, no. No, don't. No.

No...

Hey, little rascals.

Who wants cake?

M-Mom...

Berlene, you better toughen
that little boy up,

'cause he's gonna get
beat up in high school.

So has Grover figured out
the afterlife for himself yet?

Yep,

and he wants to come back as
the world's most disgusting bug.

[laughs]

You must be proud.

You know what? I am.

He's a smart kid.
He'll figure it out.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

Do you believe in heaven?

Yeah, I do.

But I mean, how can any of us
be sure what it's really like?

It's called faith, Gemma.

It's like driving around
with an expired license.

You got to trust and believe
that you won't get caught.

And so far, I haven't.
That's Jesus.

[laughs] Well, I guess the good
thing is we all get to paint

our own picture of
what heaven is.

Well, all I know is,
in my heaven,

everybody that I love is there.

Ooh, and they're waiting for me
at a Prince concert.

[both laugh]

In my heaven, it's
the Backstreet Boys.

Ooh, and I can eat
all the cheesecake I want

and never gain a single pound.

Well, Gemma Johnson,
I hope to see you in my heaven.

Aw, I hope I see you in mine.

And if you go first,
will you save me a seat

at your Prince concert? Oh, most definitely.

And if I go first, I'll save you
a spot at the Backstreet Boys.

I'm good.

[chuckles]

Hey, Kayla.

Nice seeing you... Don't even.

You shut down
my lemonade stand.

Snitch.

Well, it's people like you
that make it hard

to support black businesses.

Well, okay, to answer
your question, Grover,

as scientists, we learn about
the law of conservation,

which states that
energy can neither be

created nor destroyed.

But if my mama asks, it's what?

All Jesus all the time.

Yeah.

What do you think, Malcolm?

Well, there's actually
this great book...

I'm out. Yeah, me, too.

So, so, what I'm saying is

that Mean Mr. Benson might
just be the most repulsive,

vile, despicable human
I've ever come across.

And I hope he rots in hell.

Okay. Well...

Thanks, Reverend.

CALVIN:
Hey, Dave.

Thank God, man, look,

I need to hear this.
Please tell me,

there's something good
in everyone, right?

I wish I could, but it's a lie.

It is a damn, dirty lie.

No, no. Come on,
that's not true.

It-- no, some people
will only be remembered

for yelling at children
and bossing people around

and spewing negativity
up and down the streets.

Well, when you say it like that,
it sounds bad.

Dave, if you're gonna say
something, say it now.

These vultures got me down
to one day of leftovers.

You know what, Tina?

I don't think I'm going to,

because for the first
time in my life,

I don't have
anything good to say.

No, Dave, do not talk like that.

Come on, man.

It's like I tell everyone,

if you look hard enough,

you can find the good
in everybody.

Dad, you have
100% never said that.

Uh, but you have said,

"I wish The Purge
was a real thing."
Yes.

Well, obviously,
you just don't know me.

Just like you didn't know
Mr. Benson.

Yo, can I have
everyone's attention?

Come on. Everybody just gather
around here. Come on, now.

We are here to celebrate
the life of a great man.

Oh, wait. Someone else die?

No. I'm talking
about Mr. Benson,

who some of you refer to
as "Mean Mr. Benson."

Shame on you.

Because more than anything,
Mr. Benson was misunderstood.

Yeah, now,

I know a lot of you know him
as the mean old grouch

who stole your toys or insulted
your Halloween costumes

or yelled at you
about cutting your grass.

Uh, yeah, because he did
all those things.

Yes, he did.

But what you don't know

is the reason why
he did those things

is because he cared
about this neighborhood.

Maybe he kept the toys
that went into his yard

to teach you the value
of your belongings.

And maybe he yelled at you

about mowing your lawn so you
could take pride in your homes.

And just maybe he shut down
a lemonade stand

to teach a young entrepreneur
that some people

know the difference between
taste of sugar and Sweet'N Low.

Hey, yo, do you think Dad
is talking about Mr. Benson

or himself?
I think both.

He may have eaten one too
many dumpster bagels.

Yeah.

So basically...

...what I'm saying
is that before

you call someone mean,

ask yourself is the more
appropriate word

"hero"?

He did it.
He found the rhubarb pie.

Dave, black people
don't slow clap.

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Hey, what are you doing
out here, little man?

Not much. Just thinking
about life and death.

And how much cake I can eat
before my parents catch me.

You know,

you're the only little kid
around here

that doesn't run away from me.

Why would I run away?

I don't know.

Maybe because I'm
Mean Mr. Butler.

I don't think you're mean.

You just always
think you're right.

Mm, for the record,
that's because I am.

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah, shoot.

Where do people go
when they die?

I've asked everyone, and
they all say different stuff.

Hmm. You know,

I've been thinking about that
a lot today, Grover.

You know what I've decided? What?

That maybe we shouldn't
worry so much about

where we go after we die,

as long as we're good to each
other when we're here.

Want a piece of my cake?

[chuckles]
Thanks, buddy,

but I'm kind of
filled up on bagels.

[band playing "When the Saints
Go Marching In"]

Ooh! Ooh, the band's here! Oh.

You got a band?

Yes. Mr. Benson was
from New Orleans,

so I thought we'd
send him out in style.

Well, Calvin Butler, that was a
beautiful speech that you gave.

Oh, thank you, baby.

Well, I found that, uh, page
from the magazine in your chair.Oh...

So how about we keep this
celebration going later

with a number 12?

What's a number 12?

It's a number eight and
a number four at the same time.

[laughs]

Well, all right!

♪

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