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1
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,261
How's that? Is that good for you?
2
00:00:12,285 --> 00:00:14,381
Not really.
You're just dry humping my leg.
3
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,341
Okay, um, let's switch positions.
4
00:00:20,165 --> 00:00:22,125
What about this?
5
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,061
Oh, leg cramp!
6
00:00:24,085 --> 00:00:28,901
Oh! Ooh! Okay. Oh, yeah.
7
00:00:28,925 --> 00:00:30,885
Oh! Oh!
8
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,621
Oh!
9
00:00:32,645 --> 00:00:34,261
Do you have to be so vigorous?
10
00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,645
Sex is meant to be vigorous.
11
00:00:36,045 --> 00:00:38,261
- Oh!
- Okay, time out. Time out.
12
00:00:41,765 --> 00:00:44,661
Um...
13
00:00:44,685 --> 00:00:47,760
Do you want me to go down on you? Ruthie?
14
00:00:48,605 --> 00:00:50,661
Or we could watch Blue Planet?
15
00:00:50,685 --> 00:00:54,245
Okay.
16
00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:01,461
Well, the silky sharksare a beautiful shark.
17
00:01:01,485 --> 00:01:03,926
And what makes them even more fascinating
18
00:01:03,950 --> 00:01:06,389
is that there are thousands of them here.
19
00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:21,101
Minge!
20
00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:23,061
That's enough.
21
00:01:23,085 --> 00:01:24,661
Settle down.
22
00:02:04,485 --> 00:02:05,981
- Ah-ha!
- Hey.
23
00:02:06,005 --> 00:02:07,821
- You're in love with Maeve.
- What?
24
00:02:07,845 --> 00:02:10,021
- I'm not... I'm not in love.
- Mm-hm.
25
00:02:10,045 --> 00:02:10,941
Don't be ridiculous.
26
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,101
You've been glued to your phone
for, like, three weeks,
27
00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,821
and every time she texts you,
this happens.
28
00:02:14,845 --> 00:02:16,741
- What happens? Oh, sorry.
- Watch it, breadstick.
29
00:02:16,765 --> 00:02:17,981
Okay. Have a nice day.
30
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:21,621
This! You turn into smiley,
happy cupcake Otis. It's weird.
31
00:02:21,645 --> 00:02:23,261
I don't know what you're talking about.
32
00:02:23,285 --> 00:02:25,661
Maeve and I are work colleagues
and we're friends. That's it.
33
00:02:25,685 --> 00:02:28,581
- Yeah. Friends.
- Boys and girls can be friends.
34
00:02:28,605 --> 00:02:30,821
Yeah, sure. Their
genitals can be friends.
35
00:02:30,845 --> 00:02:33,061
I thought you said Maeve was
with Jackson now, anyway.
36
00:02:33,085 --> 00:02:35,981
They're not with each other.
They're just, you know...
37
00:02:36,005 --> 00:02:38,861
Having super-hot, athletic,
sweaty intercourse?
38
00:02:38,885 --> 00:02:40,405
- Casual sex.
- Uh! Uh!
39
00:02:41,005 --> 00:02:43,141
You seem to know a lot
about her relationship status.
40
00:02:43,165 --> 00:02:45,861
Yes, because we're friends
and friends share things.
41
00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:47,005
Like bodily fluids?
42
00:02:47,565 --> 00:02:48,565
Hey, look.
43
00:02:49,405 --> 00:02:50,981
- Still looking for a job?
- Hah, yeah.
44
00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,741
Nice try, but you can't distract me
45
00:02:52,765 --> 00:02:54,925
from the fact
that you're clearly in love with Maeve!
46
00:03:28,285 --> 00:03:30,605
- That was good.
- Yeah.
47
00:03:37,445 --> 00:03:38,653
I haven't seen you for a while.
48
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,501
I thought you didn't
wanna hook up anymore.
49
00:03:40,525 --> 00:03:42,045
- I've been busy.
- All right.
50
00:03:44,005 --> 00:03:45,381
Do you wanna hang out later?
51
00:03:45,405 --> 00:03:47,165
- We just had sex.
- I mean, like...
52
00:03:47,765 --> 00:03:49,485
You know, hang out.
53
00:03:50,445 --> 00:03:52,941
Jackson, I'm not offended
that you wanna keep this a secret.
54
00:03:52,965 --> 00:03:54,261
It's casual and it works for me.
55
00:03:54,285 --> 00:03:56,925
You don't have to try
and be honorable and shit. Okay?
56
00:03:57,645 --> 00:03:58,645
See you later.
57
00:03:59,685 --> 00:04:00,725
Sh...
58
00:04:09,965 --> 00:04:11,485
Oh, my God. Jackson is so hot.
59
00:04:12,325 --> 00:04:15,205
Jackson is looking at us. God.
60
00:04:17,805 --> 00:04:19,941
- Jackson's approaching us.
- Mind if I join you?
61
00:04:19,965 --> 00:04:21,301
- Jackson is here.
- Uh...
62
00:04:21,325 --> 00:04:22,845
- You know Maeve, right?
- Nah.
63
00:04:23,285 --> 00:04:24,461
Yes, you do. He does.
64
00:04:24,485 --> 00:04:27,901
Well, yeah, I mean... we're friends.
We're just friends, you know.
65
00:04:27,925 --> 00:04:29,405
- Hey, man, I'm...
- Handsome.
66
00:04:29,805 --> 00:04:32,485
- Sorry, you are...
- Eric.
67
00:04:33,405 --> 00:04:34,405
Eric.
68
00:04:35,485 --> 00:04:37,605
Some people know me as Tromboner.
69
00:04:39,845 --> 00:04:41,181
- So, I need your help.
- Me?
70
00:04:41,205 --> 00:04:42,741
I mean... me?
71
00:04:42,765 --> 00:04:45,421
- Well, Maeve and I, we're, you know...
- Boning.
72
00:04:45,445 --> 00:04:46,701
Yeah. And it's great.
73
00:04:46,725 --> 00:04:49,661
But I've sort of realized that I want her
to hang around with me more.
74
00:04:49,685 --> 00:04:51,381
- Mm.
- You know, afterwards.
75
00:04:51,405 --> 00:04:52,271
After the boning. Mm.
76
00:04:52,295 --> 00:04:54,229
Yeah, so I thought you could help me out.
77
00:04:54,885 --> 00:04:57,661
You want him to help you get Maeve
to be your girlfriend?
78
00:04:57,685 --> 00:04:58,685
Yeah.
79
00:04:58,925 --> 00:05:01,101
Yeah, I don't really know what I can do.
80
00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,141
So...
81
00:05:02,165 --> 00:05:04,221
- Well, I mean, you're her friend.
- You're her friend?
82
00:05:04,245 --> 00:05:06,501
And I heard you
sort of give out sex advice.
83
00:05:06,525 --> 00:05:08,341
- Yeah, he does.
- Yeah.
84
00:05:08,365 --> 00:05:11,245
So I thought
you were the right person to talk to.
85
00:05:12,485 --> 00:05:15,181
I mean, I can pay, if that's the problem.
86
00:05:15,205 --> 00:05:17,101
- I...
- Oh, shit, I've gotta run.
87
00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:18,461
- Let's catch up later.
- Wait, no.
88
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,986
I really appreciate this, man. Take care.
89
00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:21,565
- Yeah.
- This...
90
00:05:27,725 --> 00:05:29,125
Is that Jackson's new girlfriend?
91
00:05:30,125 --> 00:05:32,925
Oh! Ha! You are like a pimp.
92
00:05:33,485 --> 00:05:36,005
And not the cool Snoop Dogg kind.
93
00:05:36,525 --> 00:05:38,381
Hm!
94
00:05:40,645 --> 00:05:41,645
D.
95
00:05:43,445 --> 00:05:44,685
D.
96
00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:47,125
E.
97
00:05:47,565 --> 00:05:50,221
And on this one
you just drew a picture of a...
98
00:05:50,245 --> 00:05:52,461
That's a... It's a woman's behind.
99
00:05:52,485 --> 00:05:54,125
There. There's a...
100
00:05:55,085 --> 00:05:57,501
- That's a bumhole, there's a vagina.
- You won't be laughing
101
00:05:57,525 --> 00:06:00,221
when you throw yourself off
a motorway bridge at the age of 35
102
00:06:00,245 --> 00:06:02,325
because of the failure you have become!
103
00:06:06,285 --> 00:06:08,965
I have spoken to the dean
at Mountview Military this morning.
104
00:06:10,365 --> 00:06:12,581
- Dad, I...
- Your name is on the waiting list.
105
00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:13,936
You have until the end of term
106
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,909
to get these grades up
and change my mind.
107
00:06:35,365 --> 00:06:37,341
Sorry I'm late. I had a, uh...
108
00:06:37,365 --> 00:06:38,365
Had a thing.
109
00:06:39,085 --> 00:06:40,981
Get it together, we've got clients.
110
00:06:41,005 --> 00:06:43,765
Roger. Affirmative. Good to go.
111
00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:49,621
It's like the more we try,
the worse it gets.
112
00:06:49,645 --> 00:06:51,685
Like we can't get in sync
or find a rhythm.
113
00:06:52,325 --> 00:06:55,061
When we're having sex, I feel like
I've never seen a vagina before.
114
00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:57,165
But I have, I've got one
and I've looked at it a lot.
115
00:06:57,445 --> 00:06:59,901
It's got to the point where when
I think about touching Ruthie,
116
00:06:59,925 --> 00:07:02,461
I get really panicked, because
I know it's gonna be really bad.
117
00:07:02,485 --> 00:07:04,421
Like when you put together
a bookshelf from IKEA
118
00:07:04,445 --> 00:07:06,341
and you realize
you don't have the right screw
119
00:07:06,365 --> 00:07:07,941
and the whole thing was a waste of time
120
00:07:07,965 --> 00:07:09,805
and then you just hate everything
about Sweden.
121
00:07:10,325 --> 00:07:11,534
Ruthie, tell him how bad it is.
122
00:07:11,558 --> 00:07:13,349
Look, I don't know why we're doing this.
123
00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:16,301
It's not like some advice
from a 16-year-old straight dude
124
00:07:16,325 --> 00:07:17,645
is gonna magically fix us.
125
00:07:18,165 --> 00:07:19,165
It's stupid.
126
00:07:19,485 --> 00:07:21,781
Yeah, well, I mean, you're right, Ruthie.
127
00:07:21,805 --> 00:07:23,541
I'm not particularly well-versed
128
00:07:23,565 --> 00:07:25,885
in the intricacies
of lesbian sexual relations,
129
00:07:26,165 --> 00:07:27,165
but I think,
130
00:07:27,645 --> 00:07:28,699
if I can learn a bit more
131
00:07:28,723 --> 00:07:30,901
about your emotional
relationship to one another,
132
00:07:30,925 --> 00:07:33,341
I might be able to get closer
to the root of the problem.
133
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,565
We don't have a problem
with our relationship.
134
00:07:36,485 --> 00:07:38,045
We're in love and it's great.
135
00:07:38,685 --> 00:07:39,685
We're just...
136
00:07:40,205 --> 00:07:41,341
inexperienced.
137
00:07:41,365 --> 00:07:43,405
This is my first lesbian relationship.
138
00:07:43,805 --> 00:07:44,941
Me too.
139
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,525
First, I mean,
lesbian sex therapy session.
140
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,365
So have you got any ideas, Kinsey?
141
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,885
I'd like to have an orgasm
sometime this century.
142
00:07:52,525 --> 00:07:54,021
Yeah, leave it with me.
143
00:07:54,045 --> 00:07:56,301
I'll do some research
and see what I can come up with.
144
00:07:56,325 --> 00:07:57,325
Yeah, brilliant.
145
00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,445
Thanks, thank you.
146
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:04,125
How'd it go?
147
00:08:05,325 --> 00:08:06,565
Might be a tricky one.
148
00:08:12,405 --> 00:08:13,525
Ah...
149
00:08:16,965 --> 00:08:18,285
I'm so sorry.
150
00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:20,794
I'm sorry, I'm coming
down with something.
151
00:08:20,818 --> 00:08:22,141
Nothing serious, though.
152
00:08:22,165 --> 00:08:23,981
Do you want to come in
and we can get started?
153
00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:25,565
- I'm just gonna grab my...
- Follow me.
154
00:08:39,965 --> 00:08:41,205
Have a seat.
155
00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:43,165
I won't bite.
156
00:08:48,805 --> 00:08:49,805
So...
157
00:08:50,245 --> 00:08:51,645
scrotal anxiety.
158
00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,285
Your email implies you've been struggling
with this for a while.
159
00:08:56,445 --> 00:09:00,725
Why don't you start by telling me
your earliest memory of your scrotum?
160
00:09:02,725 --> 00:09:04,221
Oh, goodness.
161
00:09:04,245 --> 00:09:05,941
I'm sorry, I completely forgot.
162
00:09:05,965 --> 00:09:07,261
I, uh...
163
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:10,245
- I'm having my bathroom redone.
- Yeah, I know.
164
00:09:10,645 --> 00:09:12,045
I have my tools outside.
165
00:09:13,605 --> 00:09:15,845
So I'd better go and get them, right?
166
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,325
Earliest memory,
167
00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:25,525
I'd just turned five.
168
00:09:26,725 --> 00:09:28,085
And I was looking down,
169
00:09:28,725 --> 00:09:29,765
and thought,
170
00:09:30,685 --> 00:09:33,205
"Oh, there are my balls."
171
00:09:38,925 --> 00:09:41,901
The topic for this year's sixth form
essay competition is
172
00:09:41,925 --> 00:09:44,701
"Every great dream
begins with a dreamer."
173
00:09:44,725 --> 00:09:45,981
Entry is compulsory.
174
00:09:46,005 --> 00:09:49,061
This is a fantastic opportunity
that could look very good
175
00:09:49,085 --> 00:09:51,085
on your university applications
next year.
176
00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:54,861
Are any of you even listening?
No, I didn't think so. Anyway...
177
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:57,421
Here's some more information.
Take it or leave it.
178
00:09:57,445 --> 00:10:00,565
I'll be interested to see your take
on this, Maeve. Genuinely.
179
00:10:10,725 --> 00:10:12,861
- I'm giving the money back.
- No, hold up.
180
00:10:12,885 --> 00:10:16,181
You have a rare opportunity here to use
your power for self-interest.
181
00:10:16,205 --> 00:10:17,334
What do you mean?
182
00:10:17,358 --> 00:10:20,101
You keep the money. Give Jackson
the wrong advice. Make trouble.
183
00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:21,621
Okay, that is unethical
184
00:10:21,645 --> 00:10:23,141
- on so many levels.
- Oh!
185
00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,605
Yeah, unethical or...
186
00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,141
badass?
187
00:10:27,165 --> 00:10:28,261
- Completely unethical.
- Ugh!
188
00:10:28,285 --> 00:10:29,885
Eric, I'm giving the money back.
189
00:10:30,365 --> 00:10:31,901
Okay? End of story.
190
00:10:31,925 --> 00:10:34,405
Well, after you then, Captain Morality.
191
00:10:36,645 --> 00:10:37,981
Otis!
192
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,245
You tracked me down.
193
00:10:39,685 --> 00:10:41,925
Listen, I...
I need to give this back to you.
194
00:10:42,405 --> 00:10:45,021
I feel uncomfortable talking
behind Maeve's back. It's wrong.
195
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,165
It's unethical and it's just wrong.
196
00:10:47,485 --> 00:10:48,901
- I get it.
- All right, cool.
197
00:10:48,925 --> 00:10:50,900
Yeah. No problem. You're
an honorable guy.
198
00:10:50,925 --> 00:10:54,221
- Great. Here's the money.
- Maeve is such a head-fuck, man.
199
00:10:54,245 --> 00:10:57,341
Like a Rubik's Cube. She says one thing
and then does something else.
200
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,501
And I can't keep up.
201
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,581
- Know what I mean?
- Not really. But here you go.
202
00:11:00,605 --> 00:11:02,101
We'll have crazy amazing sex, yeah?
203
00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:04,306
I'm talking, like,
transcendental-level shagging.
204
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,461
- Okay, stop!
- Aaah!
205
00:11:05,485 --> 00:11:07,461
And then she ignores me for days.
206
00:11:07,485 --> 00:11:11,461
But then, she wants to do it again
and round and round we go.
207
00:11:11,485 --> 00:11:14,461
She's like some sexy merry-go-round,
and I can't get off.
208
00:11:14,485 --> 00:11:15,661
She's not an object!
209
00:11:15,685 --> 00:11:17,581
Ohh... What?
210
00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:19,781
Uh... I said she's not an object.
211
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:23,084
You keep describing her as inanimate
objects, but she is a person.
212
00:11:23,605 --> 00:11:25,661
Have you even thought
about asking her what she wants
213
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,805
or what she likes?
214
00:11:27,205 --> 00:11:29,141
- Well, what does she like?
- Lots of things.
215
00:11:29,165 --> 00:11:31,821
Um... Female writers, for a start.
216
00:11:31,845 --> 00:11:32,925
Oh, like The Hunger Games?
217
00:11:33,165 --> 00:11:36,701
More like, uh, Virginia Woolf
or Roxane Gay or Sylvia Plath.
218
00:11:36,725 --> 00:11:40,701
She also has a great taste in music.
Joy Division, Nirvana, Bikini Kill...
219
00:11:40,725 --> 00:11:42,765
But she's not a snob.
I mean, she'll listen to pop.
220
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,941
And she has a really dark sense of humor.
221
00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:45,981
I didn't know that.
222
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,661
What are you... What are you doing?
223
00:11:47,685 --> 00:11:49,821
I'm taking notes. This is super helpful.
224
00:11:49,845 --> 00:11:51,621
No! No! I'm not helping.
225
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:53,381
- This is not helping.
- Yeah, it is.
226
00:11:53,405 --> 00:11:56,181
Stop pulling your pricks and
get out here! 40 lengths!
227
00:11:56,205 --> 00:11:57,445
Get a move on, Jackson.
228
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:00,061
Thank you so much. You're a lifesaver.
229
00:12:00,085 --> 00:12:02,061
- Take care.
- Yeah.
230
00:12:02,085 --> 00:12:03,085
Bye, Jackson.
231
00:12:05,295 --> 00:12:06,461
Oh, no.
232
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,141
Good job.
233
00:12:10,165 --> 00:12:11,221
Good job.
234
00:12:23,605 --> 00:12:24,941
Ugh.
235
00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:26,461
Go get herpes somewhere else, guys.
236
00:12:33,365 --> 00:12:34,445
Oh, hey, Maeve.
237
00:12:35,485 --> 00:12:37,181
You're not actually reading
Virginia Woolf.
238
00:12:37,205 --> 00:12:38,965
Why wouldn't I be? She's
a brilliant mind.
239
00:12:40,685 --> 00:12:42,005
Who's the big-nosed chick?
240
00:12:42,445 --> 00:12:46,141
A fierce, feminist voice
of 20th-century Britain, obviously.
241
00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:48,501
I've never seen you read before.
Is this some kind of joke?
242
00:12:48,525 --> 00:12:50,701
No! I read all the time.
243
00:12:54,845 --> 00:12:55,845
Hey.
244
00:12:57,645 --> 00:12:59,981
Do you know you are the only person
245
00:13:00,005 --> 00:13:03,525
to take this book out of the library
since 1972?
246
00:13:04,165 --> 00:13:05,380
Not anymore, apparently.
247
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:12,941
So now he's a feminist!
248
00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:15,101
You've made the hottest guy in school
even hotter.
249
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:17,301
He's basically Ryan Gosling. Well done.
250
00:13:17,325 --> 00:13:19,621
You don't understand. He's like a Jedi.
251
00:13:19,645 --> 00:13:23,341
Okay? He just talked, and no matter
what I did, he got what he wanted.
252
00:13:23,365 --> 00:13:26,621
The one thing you had going for you
was that you're all woke and shit.
253
00:13:26,645 --> 00:13:29,341
Kind of counters
the whole lame virgin thing.
254
00:13:29,365 --> 00:13:31,565
Now he's checking his privilege.
It's game over.
255
00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:33,501
- It's not a game.
- It is a game.
256
00:13:33,525 --> 00:13:35,805
- Because Maeve and I are just friends.
- Hm.
257
00:13:36,325 --> 00:13:38,605
Anyway, she's not gonna fall
for this whole performance.
258
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:41,285
Oh, my God, I love Virginia Woolf.
259
00:13:42,245 --> 00:13:43,901
Nice guys finish last.
260
00:13:43,925 --> 00:13:46,565
Especially when there's a nicer guy
with rock-hard abs.
261
00:13:55,845 --> 00:13:57,901
Ruby thinks Kyle should change
the way he dresses,
262
00:13:57,925 --> 00:13:59,461
but I think he looks nice.
263
00:13:59,485 --> 00:14:01,661
He has been wearing
a lot of trackie bottoms recently,
264
00:14:01,685 --> 00:14:03,605
but that's only
'cause he set his jeans on fire.
265
00:14:04,245 --> 00:14:05,501
What?
266
00:14:05,525 --> 00:14:07,261
He's got second-degree burns
on his thighs,
267
00:14:07,285 --> 00:14:09,566
but he was blazed when it happened,
so it only hurt a bit.
268
00:14:10,245 --> 00:14:11,301
Hey, Maeve.
269
00:14:11,325 --> 00:14:13,061
What do you think Woolf meant by,
270
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:15,821
"The history of men's opposition
to women's emancipation
271
00:14:15,845 --> 00:14:17,037
is more interesting, perhaps,
272
00:14:17,061 --> 00:14:18,949
than the story of that
emancipation itself"?
273
00:14:20,285 --> 00:14:23,021
That men are dicks, and selective
castration is our only hope.
274
00:14:24,285 --> 00:14:25,725
You know, you are so dark.
275
00:14:26,546 --> 00:14:27,540
What?
276
00:14:27,564 --> 00:14:29,429
Your humor, it's dark. I like dark humor.
277
00:14:31,045 --> 00:14:32,221
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
278
00:14:35,325 --> 00:14:37,005
He's being so weird.
279
00:14:37,605 --> 00:14:39,125
I think he's peacocking.
280
00:14:39,725 --> 00:14:40,805
But with words.
281
00:14:42,285 --> 00:14:44,381
Girls, less chatting, more running!
282
00:14:46,525 --> 00:14:48,125
- Look! Look, look, look!
- I know! Okay!
283
00:14:49,525 --> 00:14:52,661
♪ Ten thousand hours of fallin' asleep ♪
284
00:14:52,685 --> 00:14:55,021
♪ To singer-songwriters' tunes ♪
285
00:14:55,045 --> 00:14:56,701
♪ In my ear ♪
286
00:14:56,725 --> 00:14:58,205
Are you listening to Sløtface?
287
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:02,965
Oh, what? Sløtface?
Yeah, their new album is incredible.
288
00:15:03,205 --> 00:15:04,501
Since when do you like punk?
289
00:15:04,525 --> 00:15:05,605
Oh, wait, do you like punk?
290
00:15:06,165 --> 00:15:07,965
- Among other things.
- Ah!
291
00:15:08,445 --> 00:15:10,981
Well, I've actually got a spare ticket
for this local band night.
292
00:15:11,005 --> 00:15:12,365
Pussyfest. Do you wanna come?
293
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:15,725
- Maybe.
- All right, it's a date.
294
00:15:16,565 --> 00:15:19,501
Actually, I can't.
I've got an essay to write.
295
00:15:19,525 --> 00:15:21,101
- Huh?
- Have fun, though.
296
00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:22,565
♪ She's sneaking around ♪
297
00:15:23,405 --> 00:15:24,925
♪ Checking up on you ♪
298
00:15:27,165 --> 00:15:28,445
She's not gonna text you.
299
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:30,565
She's texting Jackson now.
300
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:33,021
Who needs a friend
when you have a boyfriend?
301
00:15:33,045 --> 00:15:34,861
Uh, he's not her boyfriend. Okay?
302
00:15:34,885 --> 00:15:37,301
I mean, I wouldn't care if he was,
but he's not.
303
00:15:37,325 --> 00:15:38,501
He's literally not.
304
00:15:39,925 --> 00:15:41,885
Well, well. Appears you were wrong.
305
00:15:43,393 --> 00:15:44,461
I've gotta go.
306
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,701
See, Maeve and I still run
a sex clinic together.
307
00:15:46,725 --> 00:15:48,085
And that's still weird.
308
00:15:50,605 --> 00:15:52,645
That's really, really weird.
309
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:05,765
- ♪ Hey, your face is a mess ♪- What?
310
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,981
- Is the music too loud?
- ♪ Come in, baby ♪
311
00:16:09,005 --> 00:16:10,021
N... No, it's fine.
312
00:16:10,045 --> 00:16:14,005
- ♪ You can dry the tears on my dress ♪
- Okay.
313
00:16:14,445 --> 00:16:16,621
- ♪ She's hurt you again ♪
- How's it going?
314
00:16:16,645 --> 00:16:19,725
Quite a bit of mold,
but, uh, it's fixable.
315
00:16:20,365 --> 00:16:21,421
Great.
316
00:16:21,445 --> 00:16:24,125
- I mean, that's fine.
- Yeah.
317
00:16:26,245 --> 00:16:27,725
Are you writing another book?
318
00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:29,101
Uh...
319
00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:32,525
I mean, I saw that you've...
you've written books,
320
00:16:32,885 --> 00:16:34,445
this morning, in your office.
321
00:16:34,805 --> 00:16:37,725
Yes, I did. A very long time ago.
322
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:41,245
But, um... I don't really write anymore.
323
00:16:42,525 --> 00:16:43,525
Why?
324
00:16:45,765 --> 00:16:47,445
Well, um...
325
00:16:48,565 --> 00:16:51,045
I wrote that last book with my...
326
00:16:51,405 --> 00:16:52,405
ex-husband.
327
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:56,045
And we split just after the publication.
328
00:16:56,365 --> 00:17:00,965
And I tried, but, to be honest, um...
329
00:17:01,725 --> 00:17:04,045
the fear creeps in a
bit as you get older.
330
00:17:05,045 --> 00:17:06,805
I don't know why I'm telling you that.
331
00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:09,165
Fuck fear.
332
00:17:10,205 --> 00:17:11,205
I'm sorry?
333
00:17:11,645 --> 00:17:12,765
Fuck the fear.
334
00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:15,925
Tomorrow, you could be driving along
in your car, happily,
335
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:21,141
and then, uh, smash you, uh, head to head
with an 18-wheeler truck
336
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,085
and you're squished to the road,
and you're dead.
337
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:26,125
Just a waste of time.
338
00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:28,245
So fuck fear.
339
00:17:31,205 --> 00:17:32,205
Hello, darling.
340
00:17:33,405 --> 00:17:34,685
- Hi.
- Hi.
341
00:17:35,845 --> 00:17:37,541
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. Yeah.
342
00:17:37,565 --> 00:17:39,661
- Homework stuff.
- Well...
343
00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:42,805
I should leave you to it.
344
00:18:14,925 --> 00:18:15,925
Sorry.
345
00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:17,245
It's okay.
346
00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:18,605
Hello!
347
00:18:18,885 --> 00:18:20,501
Are you a friend of Otis'?
348
00:18:20,525 --> 00:18:22,765
No, I'm here to pick up my father.
349
00:18:23,925 --> 00:18:26,941
You know, intense European dude.
Thinks he's a comedian.
350
00:18:26,965 --> 00:18:29,981
Piercing blue eyes. He's got "fuck"
written across his hand...
351
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:36,021
Don't be a man-child,
get a move on. I'm late for work!
352
00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:46,085
I am ignoring you. Hurry up.
353
00:18:48,005 --> 00:18:49,965
Please can I use your bathroom?
354
00:18:50,205 --> 00:18:51,965
Yes. It's upstairs.
355
00:18:52,285 --> 00:18:53,285
Thanks.
356
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:04,685
Mum!
357
00:19:05,045 --> 00:19:07,101
You're not my mum.
358
00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:09,101
I just... I'm not...
359
00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:10,301
This is research!
360
00:19:10,325 --> 00:19:12,005
Uh...
361
00:19:16,885 --> 00:19:19,485
You should probably think about
gettin' a lock on this door.
362
00:19:20,405 --> 00:19:21,605
Where's the bathroom?
363
00:19:22,085 --> 00:19:24,165
- Uh, on your left.
- Thanks.
364
00:19:32,445 --> 00:19:34,261
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
365
00:19:34,285 --> 00:19:35,925
Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.
366
00:19:36,685 --> 00:19:38,661
Oh, don't annoy me.
367
00:19:38,685 --> 00:19:40,021
How have you pooped?
368
00:19:40,045 --> 00:19:41,045
Oh, yuck.
369
00:19:41,485 --> 00:19:43,861
Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck,
yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.
370
00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:45,965
Okay, stay.
371
00:19:46,405 --> 00:19:48,245
Yeah, you should feel bad.
372
00:19:49,845 --> 00:19:51,485
Ugh.
373
00:19:53,005 --> 00:19:57,141
Uh... Francis, Bacon, get back here!
374
00:19:57,165 --> 00:19:58,861
Oh! Come on! Come on!
375
00:19:58,885 --> 00:20:00,085
What the hell?
376
00:20:00,805 --> 00:20:02,405
Uh, Francis!
377
00:20:03,085 --> 00:20:04,245
Bacon!
378
00:20:06,965 --> 00:20:08,085
Shit.
379
00:20:09,445 --> 00:20:11,845
Oh, okay. Come on, guys, come on.
380
00:20:12,405 --> 00:20:13,645
Oh. Come on.
381
00:20:14,085 --> 00:20:15,645
Hey.
382
00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:20,005
Sorry, new job. Dog walker.
383
00:20:20,725 --> 00:20:21,725
Gay.
384
00:20:25,085 --> 00:20:26,165
Quiet, Madam.
385
00:20:27,045 --> 00:20:28,725
Be quiet, Madam.
386
00:20:29,405 --> 00:20:30,405
Um...
387
00:20:33,005 --> 00:20:34,501
She's not my dog. She's my mum's.
388
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:37,061
Yeah, she's cute.
389
00:20:37,085 --> 00:20:39,325
She's a champ. Okay?
390
00:20:40,485 --> 00:20:42,445
She's like the Kim Kardashian
of tiny dogs.
391
00:20:43,045 --> 00:20:44,045
Oh.
392
00:20:46,565 --> 00:20:47,941
Up, Madam.
393
00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,301
Up! Show me tits.
394
00:20:49,325 --> 00:20:52,525
- Good girl. Oh! Good girl.
- Hey!
395
00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:54,325
That is wicked.
396
00:20:54,685 --> 00:20:57,165
Hey, Madam sounds a bit like Adam.
397
00:20:58,805 --> 00:21:00,741
What are you trying to say?
398
00:21:00,765 --> 00:21:03,581
Nothing. Nothing. Okay, bye. Bye, um...
399
00:21:10,525 --> 00:21:12,141
- Madam! Madam!
- Um...
400
00:21:12,165 --> 00:21:13,341
I'm so sorry.
401
00:21:13,365 --> 00:21:15,741
Uh, I've gotta drop these off,
but I can come back...
402
00:21:15,765 --> 00:21:16,516
Don't bother, okay?
403
00:21:16,540 --> 00:21:18,789
You shouldn't be walkin' dogs
if you can't control them.
404
00:21:19,605 --> 00:21:20,845
Just fuck off.
405
00:21:22,685 --> 00:21:24,925
Madam! Madam!
406
00:21:25,245 --> 00:21:27,021
♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪
407
00:21:27,045 --> 00:21:28,301
- ♪ La-la-la ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
408
00:21:28,325 --> 00:21:30,381
♪ Spring in the air ♪
409
00:21:30,405 --> 00:21:32,261
♪ Filled with love ♪
410
00:21:32,285 --> 00:21:35,245
♪ There's magic everywhere ♪
411
00:21:36,605 --> 00:21:42,261
♪ When you're young and in love ♪
412
00:21:42,285 --> 00:21:45,021
♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪
413
00:21:45,045 --> 00:21:47,581
♪ Life seems to be ♪
414
00:21:47,605 --> 00:21:49,661
♪ Just a dream ♪
415
00:21:49,685 --> 00:21:52,085
♪ A world of fantasy ♪
416
00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:59,205
♪ When you're young and in love ♪
417
00:21:59,965 --> 00:22:02,861
♪ Each night seems just like ♪
418
00:22:02,885 --> 00:22:05,301
♪ The fourth of July ♪
419
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:09,565
♪ With stars that spangle the sky ♪
420
00:22:10,645 --> 00:22:12,981
♪ The moon at night ♪
421
00:22:13,005 --> 00:22:14,941
♪ Shines so bright ♪
422
00:22:14,965 --> 00:22:18,301
♪ Seems to shine twice as bright ♪
423
00:22:19,245 --> 00:22:24,565
♪ When you're young and in love ♪
424
00:22:25,005 --> 00:22:26,621
You can't even walk a dog!
425
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:29,741
- ♪ So many teardrops ♪
- The mind boggles!
426
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:31,781
- ♪ Are bound to fall ♪
- Think about poor Madam!
427
00:22:31,805 --> 00:22:35,541
- ♪ True love can conquer all ♪
- Won't last five minutes!
428
00:22:35,565 --> 00:22:38,461
- ♪ When you're ♪
- Are you happy?
429
00:22:38,485 --> 00:22:41,341
- ♪ When you're young and in love ♪
- You broke her heart. Your own mother.
430
00:22:41,365 --> 00:22:44,541
It wasn't me. I swear it wasn't my fault.
431
00:22:44,565 --> 00:22:47,781
- Excuses, excuses. Go on, go!
- ♪ Young and in love ♪
432
00:22:47,805 --> 00:22:51,485
- ♪ Young and in love ♪
- ♪ Young and in love ♪
433
00:22:51,965 --> 00:22:54,061
♪ Young and in love ♪
434
00:22:54,085 --> 00:22:56,221
- ♪ Young and in love ♪
- Fuck!
435
00:22:56,245 --> 00:22:58,461
♪ Young and in love ♪
436
00:22:58,485 --> 00:23:00,501
♪ Young and in love ♪
437
00:23:00,525 --> 00:23:03,181
♪ Young and in love ♪
438
00:23:26,365 --> 00:23:27,365
Hello.
439
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:29,365
Hi.
440
00:23:32,725 --> 00:23:33,725
Okay, then.
441
00:23:34,125 --> 00:23:35,125
I heard a thing.
442
00:23:38,525 --> 00:23:39,446
Okay.
443
00:23:39,470 --> 00:23:42,229
This thing concerns your virginal status.
444
00:23:43,165 --> 00:23:45,205
Excuse me?
445
00:23:45,605 --> 00:23:48,421
I heard on the grapevine
that your cherry remains unpopped.
446
00:23:48,445 --> 00:23:51,261
- That's none of your business.
- Yeah, let's skip the faux modesty.
447
00:23:51,285 --> 00:23:53,405
- I'm down if you are.
- Down?
448
00:23:54,365 --> 00:23:55,725
Deflowering the maiden.
449
00:23:56,765 --> 00:23:59,245
Breaking the lawn chair,
skinning the fish.
450
00:24:00,085 --> 00:24:01,900
- Your dick in my vagina.
- What do you say?
451
00:24:01,924 --> 00:24:03,189
Yeah, um...
452
00:24:04,925 --> 00:24:05,965
Wait, sorry, who are you?
453
00:24:06,605 --> 00:24:08,005
Whoever you want me to be.
454
00:24:10,485 --> 00:24:11,485
Also, I'm Lily.
455
00:24:12,445 --> 00:24:15,765
Well, thanks, Lily, but, um...
456
00:24:16,245 --> 00:24:18,005
I'm gonna have to politely decline.
457
00:24:18,325 --> 00:24:19,325
Okay.
458
00:24:19,765 --> 00:24:21,701
Well, if you change your mind,
459
00:24:21,725 --> 00:24:23,925
you can usually find me in music room B.
460
00:24:24,725 --> 00:24:25,980
Or algebra club.
461
00:24:27,085 --> 00:24:28,085
Bye, then.
462
00:24:28,605 --> 00:24:29,605
Bye.
463
00:24:33,085 --> 00:24:34,821
Woof-woof-woof! O-Dawg!
464
00:24:34,845 --> 00:24:36,941
Uh... J... Dude.
465
00:24:36,965 --> 00:24:38,821
Just wanna say thanks for the help, man.
466
00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:40,501
Me and Maeve have been texting all night.
467
00:24:40,525 --> 00:24:42,261
- She's, like, mad brainy.
- Yeah. I know.
468
00:24:42,285 --> 00:24:44,341
I'm actually into
some of this stuff too, you know.
469
00:24:44,365 --> 00:24:47,061
- It is good to look outside your bubble.
- Yeah, I guess it is.
470
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:49,181
- It's all thanks to you, man.
- You know what, Jackson?
471
00:24:49,205 --> 00:24:50,181
- I...
- Ah, that's her!
472
00:24:50,205 --> 00:24:51,541
- I didn't...
- Gotta go. Thank you.
473
00:24:51,565 --> 00:24:52,461
- Wait.
- Yeah?
474
00:24:52,485 --> 00:24:54,045
Okay.
475
00:24:54,485 --> 00:24:56,485
Yo!
476
00:25:08,845 --> 00:25:09,845
It's for you.
477
00:25:10,845 --> 00:25:12,861
It's soup, for a sick person.
478
00:25:12,885 --> 00:25:15,061
Oh, no! Oh, you shouldn't have done that.
479
00:25:15,085 --> 00:25:18,301
I'm feeling so much better today.
Just a scratchy throat.
480
00:25:18,325 --> 00:25:21,005
Still, uh... eat the soup.
It's good for you.
481
00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:24,101
No one's ever made me soup before.
482
00:25:24,125 --> 00:25:25,165
It's just soup.
483
00:25:27,685 --> 00:25:29,205
Okay, back to work, then.
484
00:25:29,965 --> 00:25:30,965
Excuse me.
485
00:25:32,525 --> 00:25:33,565
Excuse me.
486
00:25:54,525 --> 00:25:55,605
Mm!
487
00:26:35,885 --> 00:26:37,405
Why don't you just go out with him?
488
00:26:38,445 --> 00:26:40,085
Let's do a mind map.
489
00:26:40,445 --> 00:26:42,421
- What's that?
- Oh, it's just writing stuff down.
490
00:26:42,445 --> 00:26:45,165
But in a fun way that engages
all sides of your brain.
491
00:26:45,525 --> 00:26:46,725
You mean both sides.
492
00:26:46,965 --> 00:26:47,941
Yeah, all of them.
493
00:26:47,965 --> 00:26:49,501
It's really good for hard decisions
494
00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,781
like, should I get a fringe,
495
00:26:50,805 --> 00:26:53,261
even though Mum says
it'll make my face look chubby?
496
00:26:53,285 --> 00:26:56,341
Or should I tell Mum I hate her
and run away from home?
497
00:26:56,365 --> 00:26:57,365
Hm?
498
00:26:57,965 --> 00:27:00,645
So, let's start with Jackson's nice bits.
499
00:27:01,205 --> 00:27:02,685
Okay. Um...
500
00:27:03,125 --> 00:27:04,485
He's good at sex.
501
00:27:05,045 --> 00:27:07,405
Like, properly good.
502
00:27:07,725 --> 00:27:08,805
Mm!
503
00:27:09,245 --> 00:27:11,925
- Uh, he's attractive.
- And he's popular.
504
00:27:12,245 --> 00:27:14,325
Mm-hm. And he's going places.
505
00:27:14,765 --> 00:27:16,365
Like, he's not a slacker.
506
00:27:16,605 --> 00:27:18,581
No, he's probably gonna be president
or something.
507
00:27:18,605 --> 00:27:21,205
We don't have presidents
in this country, Aimee.
508
00:27:24,045 --> 00:27:25,045
Okay, what else?
509
00:27:27,365 --> 00:27:28,965
Do you have things in common?
510
00:27:29,325 --> 00:27:30,445
Yeah, we do.
511
00:27:30,845 --> 00:27:31,965
- Weirdly.
- So...
512
00:27:32,805 --> 00:27:33,885
Cons?
513
00:27:34,965 --> 00:27:37,180
- I don't want a boyfriend.
- I don't get it.
514
00:27:37,805 --> 00:27:39,685
Having a boyfriend is the best thing.
515
00:27:39,925 --> 00:27:41,165
What's so good about it?
516
00:27:44,325 --> 00:27:46,181
You always have someone to hang out with.
517
00:27:46,205 --> 00:27:48,420
And, like, last week, I
got chased by a fox,
518
00:27:48,444 --> 00:27:49,869
and Kyle threw a shoe at it.
519
00:27:51,165 --> 00:27:52,685
It was so romantic.
520
00:28:04,605 --> 00:28:07,661
This is good. It's really helpful,
being in the water, isn't it?
521
00:28:07,685 --> 00:28:08,656
It's freeing us up.
522
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,621
We're really figuring out how
our bodies can intertwine.
523
00:28:11,645 --> 00:28:14,205
It's working well for me.
Is it working for you?
524
00:28:14,965 --> 00:28:15,965
No.
525
00:28:21,405 --> 00:28:22,405
How's it going, guys?
526
00:28:23,365 --> 00:28:24,541
What are you doing?
527
00:28:24,565 --> 00:28:26,621
I don't want you to think
I engineered this situation
528
00:28:26,645 --> 00:28:27,941
for my own sexual gratification.
529
00:28:27,965 --> 00:28:29,325
That would be super creepy.
530
00:28:29,670 --> 00:28:31,085
Hence the backwards stance.
531
00:28:31,425 --> 00:28:33,865
This is even creepier.
Just turn around. Stop being creepy.
532
00:28:36,245 --> 00:28:40,701
Well, like I said before, I am
a sex and relationship therapist.
533
00:28:40,725 --> 00:28:43,301
You are a teenager with
an inflated sense of self-importance.
534
00:28:43,325 --> 00:28:44,701
Right. Well, I have a hunch
535
00:28:44,725 --> 00:28:46,853
that this is more to do
with your relationship
536
00:28:46,877 --> 00:28:48,189
than your physical intimacy.
537
00:28:48,605 --> 00:28:50,581
- How's your communication?
- We've known each other
538
00:28:50,605 --> 00:28:52,965
since primary school,
and we talk for hours.
539
00:28:53,445 --> 00:28:55,445
- It might help.
- Interesting.
540
00:28:55,805 --> 00:28:57,421
How long have you guys been together?
541
00:28:57,445 --> 00:28:58,501
About four months.
542
00:28:58,525 --> 00:29:01,661
We both came out around the same time
and it just happened.
543
00:29:01,685 --> 00:29:02,581
Interesting.
544
00:29:02,605 --> 00:29:04,421
I'm sure you find
lots of things interesting,
545
00:29:04,445 --> 00:29:06,701
but our problem is with the sex,
not the relationship.
546
00:29:06,725 --> 00:29:08,645
So we're just gonna
figure this out on our own.
547
00:29:09,565 --> 00:29:11,021
Uh...
548
00:29:11,045 --> 00:29:14,340
Well, come back when you're ready
to talk about your relationship.
549
00:29:15,205 --> 00:29:16,965
Good session, team. Great progress.
550
00:29:32,125 --> 00:29:33,485
How's it going with Jackson?
551
00:29:34,925 --> 00:29:36,325
- What do you mean?
- I mean...
552
00:29:37,125 --> 00:29:39,165
You guys seem to be spending
a lot of time together.
553
00:29:39,805 --> 00:29:40,965
What do you care?
554
00:29:41,645 --> 00:29:43,285
I was just asking. Sorry.
555
00:29:44,725 --> 00:29:47,445
He does seem keen for us
to hang out more, but...
556
00:29:48,925 --> 00:29:50,125
I don't really get it.
557
00:29:50,805 --> 00:29:52,165
Like, we have loads of sex.
558
00:29:52,885 --> 00:29:54,645
So why'd he wanna complicate things?
559
00:29:55,005 --> 00:29:58,205
It's stupid.
Anyway, I don't do boyfriends.
560
00:30:00,685 --> 00:30:01,685
Why not?
561
00:30:03,125 --> 00:30:04,124
You know in rom-come,
562
00:30:04,148 --> 00:30:06,981
when the guy finally realizes
he's in love with the girl,
563
00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:09,301
and he turns up
with a boom box outside her house,
564
00:30:09,325 --> 00:30:12,325
blasting her favorite song,
and everyone in the audience swoons?
565
00:30:13,085 --> 00:30:14,701
Yeah, that makes me sick.
566
00:30:17,045 --> 00:30:18,365
Okay, but seriously,
567
00:30:18,965 --> 00:30:20,325
what's wrong with boyfriends?
568
00:30:22,005 --> 00:30:23,925
It's just someone else
to let you down, isn't it?
569
00:30:29,125 --> 00:30:30,620
You really think so?
570
00:30:36,765 --> 00:30:37,765
What the hell?
571
00:30:38,645 --> 00:30:39,781
What?
572
00:30:41,125 --> 00:30:42,125
Ah!
573
00:30:45,245 --> 00:30:46,525
Like that, do you?
574
00:30:47,925 --> 00:30:48,925
Don't fucking...
575
00:30:56,925 --> 00:30:59,581
So... why don't you wanna
go out with Jackson?
576
00:30:59,605 --> 00:31:01,461
- I mean, really.
- No.
577
00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:03,045
We don't do that therapy thing.
578
00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:04,965
Save that for the clientele.
579
00:31:08,645 --> 00:31:09,645
Fine.
580
00:31:10,365 --> 00:31:11,765
I'm me and he's him.
581
00:31:12,325 --> 00:31:13,381
Meaning?
582
00:31:13,405 --> 00:31:17,141
Come on, Otis, he's Jackson and I'm...
You know.
583
00:31:17,165 --> 00:31:18,301
Maeve.
584
00:31:18,325 --> 00:31:21,541
No, I'm a grotty, stinky cock-biter
who lives in a caravan.
585
00:31:21,565 --> 00:31:23,541
Come on! You're not. Look...
586
00:31:23,565 --> 00:31:24,805
You're not that stinky.
587
00:31:25,645 --> 00:31:27,685
Plus, I thought it was a scrote you bit?
588
00:31:28,085 --> 00:31:29,181
Dickhead!
589
00:31:29,205 --> 00:31:30,205
Oh!
590
00:31:36,925 --> 00:31:39,725
You look like the Cookie Monster.
591
00:31:40,925 --> 00:31:42,005
Wait...
592
00:31:43,685 --> 00:31:45,421
Ooh! Okay.
593
00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:47,645
Ow! Yeah, let's go.
594
00:31:48,365 --> 00:31:49,365
- Okay.
- Yeah.
595
00:31:51,085 --> 00:31:52,085
You coming?
596
00:31:52,605 --> 00:31:53,605
No.
597
00:31:53,845 --> 00:31:56,125
- What? You just said we better go.
- I'm staying here.
598
00:31:56,565 --> 00:31:57,565
Why?
599
00:31:58,125 --> 00:31:59,125
Um...
600
00:31:59,605 --> 00:32:00,805
Exercise.
601
00:32:01,365 --> 00:32:02,805
Yeah, but school is closing.
602
00:32:03,565 --> 00:32:04,565
Yeah, but...
603
00:32:05,765 --> 00:32:06,885
exercise.
604
00:32:07,805 --> 00:32:08,805
Okay.
605
00:32:16,365 --> 00:32:18,205
You're compellingly odd, Milburn.
606
00:32:23,445 --> 00:32:24,925
Fucking go away.
607
00:32:26,925 --> 00:32:29,805
Must have been
one hell of a blow job, Wiley.
608
00:32:37,085 --> 00:32:38,085
Otis.
609
00:32:38,565 --> 00:32:39,565
Uh...
610
00:32:43,445 --> 00:32:44,445
Promise not to laugh.
611
00:32:45,645 --> 00:32:48,621
I might have a mild to moderate crush
on Maeve.
612
00:32:48,645 --> 00:32:50,725
Yeah, no shit. What gave it away?
613
00:32:52,125 --> 00:32:53,125
She, uh...
614
00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,845
She touched my eyebrows
and now I have an erection.
615
00:33:01,725 --> 00:33:03,421
You said you wouldn't laugh.
616
00:33:03,445 --> 00:33:05,261
Ugh. It won't go away.
617
00:33:05,285 --> 00:33:06,301
It's been half an hour,
618
00:33:06,325 --> 00:33:07,925
and it's really cold.
619
00:33:08,485 --> 00:33:10,085
There's only one solution.
620
00:33:14,365 --> 00:33:15,565
Okay.
621
00:33:16,485 --> 00:33:17,725
It's just wanking.
622
00:33:21,765 --> 00:33:22,765
Oh, God.
623
00:33:31,725 --> 00:33:32,901
♪ I can't get no ♪
624
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:35,245
♪ Satisfaction ♪
625
00:33:36,365 --> 00:33:37,645
♪ I can't get me no ♪
626
00:33:38,485 --> 00:33:39,805
♪ Satisfaction ♪
627
00:33:40,925 --> 00:33:42,965
♪ And I try and I try ♪
628
00:33:43,405 --> 00:33:45,405
♪ And I try, try, try ♪
♪ Try, try, try, try ♪
629
00:33:45,685 --> 00:33:46,925
♪ I can't get no ♪
630
00:33:47,885 --> 00:33:49,101
♪ No, no, no ♪
631
00:33:49,125 --> 00:33:51,845
Ah, stop! Ah! No!
632
00:33:52,445 --> 00:33:56,021
AC/DC! AC/DC! Okay.
633
00:33:56,045 --> 00:33:58,445
Adam and the Ants,
Aerosmith, Alice in Chains.
634
00:33:58,725 --> 00:34:00,781
The Blues Brothers. Bowie, David.
635
00:34:00,805 --> 00:34:03,101
The Byrds. Okay.
636
00:34:04,805 --> 00:34:06,221
- Did you do it?
- No.
637
00:34:06,245 --> 00:34:08,621
I alphabetized my music collection
and it went away.
638
00:34:08,645 --> 00:34:09,941
It's okay, man.
639
00:34:09,965 --> 00:34:10,656
Next time.
640
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:12,781
We won't speak of this ever again, okay?
641
00:34:14,565 --> 00:34:15,565
Otis!
642
00:34:17,525 --> 00:34:18,525
You got a minute?
643
00:34:19,725 --> 00:34:20,725
Yeah.
644
00:34:23,885 --> 00:34:25,485
I know the drill.
645
00:34:26,085 --> 00:34:27,085
Bye, Jackson.
646
00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:32,205
So I'm gonna ask Maeve out,
properly this time.
647
00:34:33,245 --> 00:34:35,205
- How do you think I should do it?
- Jackson...
648
00:34:35,685 --> 00:34:37,901
you're a smart guy.
I'm sure you can figure it out.
649
00:34:37,925 --> 00:34:39,941
But I need your help.
Everything you said worked.
650
00:34:39,965 --> 00:34:42,781
- I don't want to screw this up.
- I'm all out of advice, sorry.
651
00:34:42,805 --> 00:34:45,965
Come on, man. Look, we talk, we laugh.
We have crazy good sex.
652
00:34:46,405 --> 00:34:47,805
Now I just wanna seal the deal.
653
00:34:49,725 --> 00:34:50,725
Well...
654
00:34:51,485 --> 00:34:52,885
what do you usually do?
655
00:34:53,965 --> 00:34:57,685
Well, usually I say, "Do you wanna
go out?" And then they say yes.
656
00:34:58,485 --> 00:34:59,485
It's that easy?
657
00:35:00,125 --> 00:35:02,021
Well, it's just not usually this hard.
658
00:35:02,045 --> 00:35:03,301
Okay, do you even like Maeve?
659
00:35:03,325 --> 00:35:05,261
Or have you just never
not got your way before?
660
00:35:05,285 --> 00:35:06,285
No, I like her.
661
00:35:06,805 --> 00:35:08,941
I wake up and I'm thinkin' about her.
662
00:35:08,965 --> 00:35:10,621
I go to sleep and I'm thinkin' about her.
663
00:35:10,645 --> 00:35:11,805
It's driving me insane.
664
00:35:12,925 --> 00:35:14,485
I think she could be the...
665
00:35:15,405 --> 00:35:16,405
the one.
666
00:35:17,605 --> 00:35:19,261
Wait, sorry.
667
00:35:19,285 --> 00:35:21,341
Sorry. You're right.
I'll figure this out on my own.
668
00:35:21,365 --> 00:35:23,365
- You've helped out enough.
- Yeah.
669
00:35:24,445 --> 00:35:27,765
You know, it's weird.
You're my age, but wise.
670
00:35:28,725 --> 00:35:29,725
You're like my mum...
671
00:35:30,165 --> 00:35:31,365
in a little man's body.
672
00:35:32,038 --> 00:35:33,494
Like a little mum man.
673
00:35:33,519 --> 00:35:34,519
No offense.
674
00:35:39,845 --> 00:35:41,125
Make a grand gesture.
675
00:35:42,845 --> 00:35:44,245
What, like flowers?
676
00:35:44,885 --> 00:35:45,885
Grander.
677
00:35:46,525 --> 00:35:47,981
Like a giant teddy bear?
678
00:35:48,005 --> 00:35:49,021
Much grander.
679
00:35:49,045 --> 00:35:51,541
Think, like...
like rom-com grand, you know?
680
00:35:51,565 --> 00:35:53,165
Public, passionate.
681
00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:55,605
Heart on your sleeve,
running through the rain...
682
00:35:56,085 --> 00:35:57,805
If it seems too much, go bigger.
683
00:35:58,325 --> 00:35:59,605
- If you want her...
- Yeah.
684
00:35:59,965 --> 00:36:00,965
...show her how much.
685
00:36:01,685 --> 00:36:02,685
Trust me.
686
00:36:03,445 --> 00:36:04,605
All right. Thanks, man.
687
00:36:05,965 --> 00:36:07,445
You really are a good guy.
688
00:36:15,285 --> 00:36:18,221
You are stone cold evil.
689
00:36:18,245 --> 00:36:20,261
Look, you told me to screw over Jackson.
690
00:36:20,285 --> 00:36:21,701
All right? This was your idea.
691
00:36:21,725 --> 00:36:23,965
I say lots of stuff.
You're not supposed to listen to me.
692
00:36:24,645 --> 00:36:27,221
- This is bad. You're a bad person.
- Stop saying that.
693
00:36:27,245 --> 00:36:28,661
Why are you now suddenly bad?
694
00:36:28,685 --> 00:36:30,361
Because I'm in love
with Maeve, all right?
695
00:36:30,385 --> 00:36:31,741
There, I admit it. Are you happy?
696
00:36:31,765 --> 00:36:34,541
Well, not really.
I think I prefer Cupcake Otis.
697
00:36:34,565 --> 00:36:35,781
I need to stop Jackson.
698
00:36:35,805 --> 00:36:37,941
Uh, then he'll know
that you're in love with Maeve.
699
00:36:37,965 --> 00:36:40,021
Then I need to warn Maeve
about what he's gonna do.
700
00:36:40,045 --> 00:36:42,073
Then she'll know that you
took money from Jackson
701
00:36:42,097 --> 00:36:43,101
and gave him bad advice
702
00:36:43,125 --> 00:36:46,045
- because you're in love with her.
- All my options are dog shit.
703
00:36:46,485 --> 00:36:47,485
Yep.
704
00:36:48,165 --> 00:36:49,165
I'm going home.
705
00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:52,125
Okay.
706
00:36:52,645 --> 00:36:54,925
Well, have a nice night, bad man.
707
00:36:57,605 --> 00:36:59,205
Thank you for all your work.
708
00:36:59,885 --> 00:37:01,621
And for the soup.
709
00:37:01,645 --> 00:37:03,205
It was very good.
710
00:37:03,645 --> 00:37:05,565
I, uh... washed it.
711
00:37:06,045 --> 00:37:08,005
I told you, it's the best soup.
712
00:37:12,725 --> 00:37:15,285
- Oh. It's okay.
- Clumsy man.
713
00:37:15,605 --> 00:37:16,605
I...
714
00:37:19,245 --> 00:37:20,245
Thank you.
715
00:37:27,045 --> 00:37:28,485
You are a strange woman.
716
00:37:34,765 --> 00:37:35,765
Goodbye, then.
717
00:37:36,165 --> 00:37:38,165
Just put those in there.
718
00:37:39,285 --> 00:37:41,165
Thank you. Goodbye, Jean.
719
00:37:43,085 --> 00:37:44,405
Bye, Mr. Builder.
720
00:37:56,165 --> 00:37:58,045
- Hello.
- Uh...
721
00:37:58,805 --> 00:37:59,965
Finish your research?
722
00:38:00,925 --> 00:38:03,141
My... Yes.
723
00:38:03,165 --> 00:38:04,701
Oh, my God. Yes, I did.
724
00:38:04,725 --> 00:38:07,341
It was actual research, by the way.
725
00:38:07,365 --> 00:38:08,941
It's... It's hard to explain.
726
00:38:08,965 --> 00:38:11,045
But, um, I needed
to know about scissoring.
727
00:38:12,045 --> 00:38:14,165
Okay. I'm Ola.
728
00:38:15,085 --> 00:38:16,221
I'm Otis.
729
00:38:16,245 --> 00:38:18,501
I got something for you.
To help with your research.
730
00:38:18,525 --> 00:38:19,645
My dad installed it.
731
00:38:23,205 --> 00:38:25,141
You know we're already recording it.
732
00:38:25,165 --> 00:38:27,045
Come on, let's get the fuck out of here.
733
00:38:27,485 --> 00:38:28,885
- Hey.
- See ya.
734
00:38:29,365 --> 00:38:30,405
See ya.
735
00:39:23,645 --> 00:39:24,901
Eric!
736
00:39:28,485 --> 00:39:31,901
Eric!
737
00:39:41,605 --> 00:39:43,261
Dad, I think I know who...
738
00:39:43,285 --> 00:39:46,725
Go get hot water and bleach.
I don't want your mother seeing this.
739
00:40:04,885 --> 00:40:06,685
- Who are you pervin' on?
- Aah!
740
00:40:07,645 --> 00:40:09,285
No one.
741
00:40:09,845 --> 00:40:11,325
Well, um...
742
00:40:11,805 --> 00:40:14,125
Ruthie, but I'm not perving,
I'm just watching.
743
00:40:15,005 --> 00:40:16,005
Never mind.
744
00:40:16,805 --> 00:40:18,365
Shame the scissoring thing didn't work.
745
00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:20,645
I'm so skint right now.
746
00:40:24,765 --> 00:40:25,765
Uh...
747
00:40:27,725 --> 00:40:30,445
- What's that?
- It's your cut. I treated someone.
748
00:40:33,245 --> 00:40:34,565
You're a fucking gem, Otis.
749
00:40:44,805 --> 00:40:45,885
Tromboner.
750
00:40:47,005 --> 00:40:48,045
Hey, Adam.
751
00:40:48,765 --> 00:40:49,885
Did you find Madam?
752
00:40:51,925 --> 00:40:53,045
Can you smell...
753
00:40:54,445 --> 00:40:55,445
dog shit?
754
00:40:58,205 --> 00:40:59,965
Wiley, can I speak to you for a second?
755
00:41:01,405 --> 00:41:03,381
No chemically induced hard-on today?
756
00:41:03,405 --> 00:41:05,901
You're so funny,
you make my dick hurt. Listen...
757
00:41:05,925 --> 00:41:08,661
Uh, that essay thing Sands
was banging on about. Write it for me.
758
00:41:08,685 --> 00:41:11,221
- I can pay.
- The hand-in's tomorrow. Sorry.
759
00:41:11,245 --> 00:41:12,685
Shit, I really need this.
760
00:41:14,125 --> 00:41:15,165
Come on, I can pay double.
761
00:41:18,125 --> 00:41:19,125
Triple.
762
00:41:21,125 --> 00:41:22,125
Okay.
763
00:41:22,725 --> 00:41:23,725
Great.
764
00:41:26,725 --> 00:41:30,725
What did you buy
from the supermarket today?
765
00:41:31,805 --> 00:41:33,925
Only you could make French unsexy.
766
00:41:36,725 --> 00:41:39,845
You do not want to kiss
your girlfriend anymore.
767
00:41:40,725 --> 00:41:41,765
Hm?
768
00:41:42,405 --> 00:41:46,260
You like someone else.
769
00:41:48,645 --> 00:41:50,460
Look, Tanya is my best friend.
770
00:41:51,525 --> 00:41:54,405
She was really supportive of me
when I came out and everything.
771
00:41:56,125 --> 00:41:57,902
So when she came out too, I thought...
772
00:41:57,926 --> 00:42:00,061
You might as well be in a relationship.
773
00:42:00,085 --> 00:42:03,165
We're so close, I thought it would be
the perfect relationship,
774
00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:05,685
but when we have sex...
775
00:42:06,525 --> 00:42:07,965
it just feels wrong.
776
00:42:08,605 --> 00:42:10,165
And when I'm doing it with Jessa...
777
00:42:12,205 --> 00:42:13,445
everything just works.
778
00:42:17,005 --> 00:42:18,085
I don't know what to do.
779
00:42:20,685 --> 00:42:22,565
You have to tell Tanya the truth.
780
00:42:23,605 --> 00:42:24,805
It would kill her.
781
00:42:27,765 --> 00:42:30,045
You can't choose who you're attracted to.
782
00:42:31,805 --> 00:42:32,805
You can't...
783
00:42:33,125 --> 00:42:34,925
You can't engineer a relationship.
784
00:42:38,365 --> 00:42:39,805
You have to do what's right.
785
00:42:41,725 --> 00:42:44,485
I still think it's weird
a teenage boy is a sex therapist.
786
00:42:44,805 --> 00:42:46,301
C'est la vie.
787
00:42:47,410 --> 00:42:49,805
This is an urgent announcementfrom your Head Boy.
788
00:42:50,325 --> 00:42:54,005
Will all sixth formers please head
to the canteen now?
789
00:43:07,765 --> 00:43:09,981
Has anyone seen Jackson?
790
00:43:10,005 --> 00:43:11,765
Uh... Maybe it's a fire drill?
791
00:43:14,325 --> 00:43:16,541
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
792
00:43:16,565 --> 00:43:18,261
- Maeve!
- Look. He's gonna make a speech.
793
00:43:18,285 --> 00:43:20,421
Yes, Moordale!
Sorry for the interruption,
794
00:43:20,445 --> 00:43:22,461
but, hey, it's just
your education, right?
795
00:43:24,045 --> 00:43:26,261
There's somebody in this crowd
who is very special to me.
796
00:43:26,285 --> 00:43:27,965
And no, it's not you, Mr. Groff.
797
00:43:30,445 --> 00:43:31,965
This person is pretty damn incredible.
798
00:43:33,205 --> 00:43:34,445
She's one of a kind.
799
00:43:35,205 --> 00:43:37,365
But I was an idiot
because I wanted to hide how I felt.
800
00:43:38,285 --> 00:43:40,965
Well, I'm not gonna
keep it secret anymore.
801
00:43:41,485 --> 00:43:42,525
Maeve Wiley...
802
00:43:44,005 --> 00:43:46,485
this is for you.
803
00:43:48,725 --> 00:43:49,821
I think he's gonna...
804
00:43:49,845 --> 00:43:52,461
...sing.
805
00:43:52,485 --> 00:43:54,605
No. No! No, no, no, no, no!
806
00:43:55,525 --> 00:43:57,061
♪ You walk like a dream ♪
807
00:43:57,085 --> 00:44:00,141
♪ And you make like you're queen ♪
♪ Of the action ♪
808
00:44:02,325 --> 00:44:04,741
♪ You're using every trick in the book ♪
809
00:44:04,765 --> 00:44:06,501
♪ The way that you look ♪
810
00:44:06,525 --> 00:44:09,285
♪ You're really something to see ♪
811
00:44:10,045 --> 00:44:14,621
♪ You cheat and you lie ♪
♪ To impress any guy that you fancy ♪
812
00:44:14,645 --> 00:44:15,765
♪ Guy that you fancy ♪
813
00:44:16,125 --> 00:44:18,941
♪ But don't you know ♪
♪ I'm out of my mind? ♪
814
00:44:18,965 --> 00:44:20,701
♪ So give me a sign ♪
815
00:44:20,725 --> 00:44:24,765
♪ And help to ease ♪
♪ The pain inside me, baby ♪
816
00:44:25,205 --> 00:44:26,141
♪ Baby ♪
817
00:44:26,165 --> 00:44:28,781
♪ Love really hurts without you... ♪
818
00:44:28,805 --> 00:44:31,685
I'm in Swing Band.
Why didn't they ask me to play?
819
00:44:32,605 --> 00:44:34,981
♪ And, girl, you're breakin' my heart ♪
820
00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,861
♪ But what can I do? ♪
821
00:44:36,885 --> 00:44:38,125
- ♪ Baby ♪
- ♪ Baby ♪
822
00:44:38,405 --> 00:44:41,005
♪ Love really hurts without you ♪
823
00:44:42,045 --> 00:44:44,605
♪ Love really hurts without you ♪
824
00:44:45,005 --> 00:44:46,901
♪ And, girl, you're breakin' my heart ♪
825
00:44:46,925 --> 00:44:49,101
♪ But what can I do? ♪
826
00:44:49,125 --> 00:44:50,621
- ♪ Baby ♪
- ♪ Baby ♪
827
00:44:50,645 --> 00:44:53,165
♪ Love really hurts without you ♪
828
00:44:54,125 --> 00:44:57,021
♪ Love really hurts without you ♪
829
00:44:57,045 --> 00:44:59,485
Will you please be my girlfriend?
830
00:45:00,775 --> 00:45:02,085
You dickhead.
831
00:45:03,645 --> 00:45:04,741
♪ Come on ♪
832
00:45:20,725 --> 00:45:22,301
Well, that was unexpected.
59570
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