All language subtitles for Sex Education - 01x03 - Episode 3.STRIFE+ION10.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:10,045 --> 00:00:12,885 As she entered the interrogation chamber, 3 00:00:12,965 --> 00:00:15,205 Glenoxi felt her captor eyeing her. 4 00:00:15,525 --> 00:00:21,565 His long serpentine tongue oozed out of his wet, gash-like mouth. 5 00:00:21,645 --> 00:00:26,645 She eyed his pulsating purple penis, inching towards it. 6 00:00:27,005 --> 00:00:30,125 She felt her abdominal sex cavity quiver. 7 00:00:30,205 --> 00:00:33,645 She could almost taste one of his three mucal glands. 8 00:00:33,725 --> 00:00:37,085 As she pulled his glistening phallus inside her, 9 00:00:37,445 --> 00:00:38,445 she felt... 10 00:00:39,885 --> 00:00:40,925 She felt... 11 00:00:42,645 --> 00:00:45,301 "What am I meant to be feeling here?" 12 00:00:47,325 --> 00:00:49,045 "This is your fantasy. 13 00:00:49,525 --> 00:00:50,965 What do we do next?" 14 00:00:51,645 --> 00:00:53,525 "What am I feeling? 15 00:00:53,805 --> 00:00:55,725 And why have I got dick hands?" 16 00:00:58,525 --> 00:00:59,845 I don't know. 17 00:01:07,325 --> 00:01:08,885 Do you use contraception? 18 00:01:09,485 --> 00:01:11,205 Yeah. Condoms. 19 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:14,245 - I didn't notice it split or anything. - Mm. 20 00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:16,885 Condoms aren't always a hundred percent effective. 21 00:01:16,965 --> 00:01:18,325 It certainly appears that way. 22 00:01:18,725 --> 00:01:22,245 Have you considered any other forms of contraception? 23 00:01:22,325 --> 00:01:24,885 Uh, implants, the pill... 24 00:01:25,525 --> 00:01:26,605 I'll think about it. 25 00:01:26,925 --> 00:01:29,685 And how many sexual partners do you currently have? 26 00:01:30,405 --> 00:01:31,605 Male or female? 27 00:01:31,685 --> 00:01:33,925 Just one at the moment. He's a he. 28 00:01:34,005 --> 00:01:36,965 And have you considered the possibility of adoption? 29 00:01:37,725 --> 00:01:40,285 I don't think anyone would want a pregnant 17-year-old. 30 00:01:40,605 --> 00:01:41,605 Heh. 31 00:01:42,845 --> 00:01:44,325 I don't want to do adoption, no. 32 00:01:44,645 --> 00:01:45,645 Right. 33 00:01:46,525 --> 00:01:49,485 And who's gonna be there to collect you after the procedure? 34 00:01:49,565 --> 00:01:50,605 Uh, no one, just me. 35 00:01:50,925 --> 00:01:53,325 Mm. Uh, unfortunately, it's a requirement. 36 00:01:54,485 --> 00:01:56,165 What if I was a serial killer? 37 00:01:56,605 --> 00:01:59,325 Or a hermit? Or my whole family had died in a fire? 38 00:01:59,405 --> 00:02:03,125 - Would I still need to bring someone then? - Yeah. It's our policy. 39 00:02:06,525 --> 00:02:09,405 You think I have a sister? 40 00:02:09,485 --> 00:02:10,885 I don't know, you could have. 41 00:02:11,205 --> 00:02:14,645 We've lived together 17 fuckin' years, Jeffrey. 42 00:02:14,725 --> 00:02:17,325 Wouldn't you know if I had a sister? 43 00:02:18,725 --> 00:02:19,925 When's my birthday? 44 00:02:22,965 --> 00:02:24,045 Fuck you, Jeffrey! 45 00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:25,885 That's domestic abuse. 46 00:02:26,285 --> 00:02:29,445 Forgettin' someone's birthday is not domestic abuse, Cynthia. 47 00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:32,365 Everything all right, love? 48 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,445 Yeah. 49 00:02:35,205 --> 00:02:36,205 Bye. 50 00:03:02,445 --> 00:03:05,206 Sorry. The number you have dialed is not in service. 51 00:04:12,111 --> 00:04:14,765 Oh... Oh! 52 00:04:14,845 --> 00:04:17,845 No. No, no, no. 53 00:04:23,325 --> 00:04:24,981 - Shit! - Are you all right, darling? 54 00:04:25,005 --> 00:04:28,165 I'm fine! I'm fine, Mum! Everything's ordinary. 55 00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:35,085 Shit. Okay... Ugh! 56 00:04:41,525 --> 00:04:44,485 - What have you got on today? - I can't talk right now, Mum. 57 00:04:46,045 --> 00:04:48,845 Well, I'm asking about your school, not your personal life. 58 00:04:48,925 --> 00:04:50,981 I know. I'm late for school. 59 00:04:51,005 --> 00:04:53,621 Well... But it's only 7:15. 60 00:04:53,645 --> 00:04:57,365 Yeah, I got clinic, I got sex clinic. I got homework to do. 61 00:04:57,445 --> 00:04:59,845 - Okay. I love you. - I love you too. Bye. 62 00:05:03,285 --> 00:05:04,405 Don't go in my room. 63 00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:06,765 Why? 64 00:05:08,005 --> 00:05:09,885 No particular reason. It's messy. 65 00:05:09,965 --> 00:05:11,765 I'll clean it. 66 00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:15,125 Okay. 67 00:05:18,445 --> 00:05:21,045 31:23. That's not bad. 68 00:05:21,125 --> 00:05:23,125 - We can do better. - Oh! 69 00:05:23,605 --> 00:05:25,685 - Push him hard today, Coach. - I always do. 70 00:05:26,005 --> 00:05:28,125 Where's the only place that success comes before work? 71 00:05:28,165 --> 00:05:29,325 - The dictionary. - Teamwork? 72 00:05:29,405 --> 00:05:31,421 - Is dream work! - Get in there and swim, swim, swim! 73 00:05:31,445 --> 00:05:32,805 Okay! 74 00:06:15,405 --> 00:06:16,805 Not my business. 75 00:06:17,325 --> 00:06:18,325 Not my business. 76 00:06:40,245 --> 00:06:41,685 Good morning, everyone. 77 00:06:41,765 --> 00:06:44,525 As you all know, we are holding a charity event next week 78 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:48,205 for Ugandan schoolgirls, raising awareness for... 79 00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:50,485 sanitary towels. 80 00:06:51,045 --> 00:06:53,645 No. Um... Period pads. 81 00:06:54,125 --> 00:06:56,365 Hm. Lady things. 82 00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,325 Sanitary products... 83 00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:06,205 And what are you doing here so early, Maeve? 84 00:07:06,405 --> 00:07:08,045 Gettin' a head start, Mr. Groff. 85 00:07:08,205 --> 00:07:09,205 Very good. 86 00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:13,005 - Carry on. - Go with sanitary products, sir. 87 00:07:13,965 --> 00:07:15,205 It's more professional. 88 00:07:16,165 --> 00:07:17,365 Less creepy. 89 00:07:19,085 --> 00:07:20,085 Right. 90 00:07:20,885 --> 00:07:21,885 Good. 91 00:07:22,645 --> 00:07:23,645 Thank you, Maeve. 92 00:07:24,285 --> 00:07:25,405 You're welcome. 93 00:07:30,805 --> 00:07:31,805 Uh... 94 00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:34,125 You're late. 95 00:07:38,205 --> 00:07:40,125 - Drop something? - No. 96 00:07:40,205 --> 00:07:42,125 No? Why are you eyeballing the ground, then? 97 00:07:43,405 --> 00:07:44,525 - I'm not. - You are. 98 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,365 It's unsettling. 99 00:07:48,365 --> 00:07:49,365 Whatever. 100 00:07:49,405 --> 00:07:52,045 - You've got a 7:45, an 8:00, and an 8:15. - Okay. 101 00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:53,445 - Better be quick. - Okay. 102 00:07:53,525 --> 00:07:55,565 Do you want some background of the clients, or... 103 00:07:55,645 --> 00:07:56,925 No, I'm okay. 104 00:07:57,485 --> 00:07:58,485 Okay. 105 00:08:04,285 --> 00:08:07,965 I'm totally in love with Mr. Hendricks, but he doesn't know I exist. 106 00:08:08,325 --> 00:08:09,685 How do I make him see me? 107 00:08:12,005 --> 00:08:13,965 Are you sure? I mean... 108 00:08:14,045 --> 00:08:15,885 My pubes are out of control. 109 00:08:15,965 --> 00:08:18,045 I've only just cut them and they've grown back. 110 00:08:18,485 --> 00:08:19,845 I'm like Wolverine. 111 00:08:20,285 --> 00:08:21,845 And then how did that make you feel? 112 00:08:22,285 --> 00:08:25,525 I fucked a warm melon, and now it stings when I pee. 113 00:08:27,045 --> 00:08:29,165 Now, that is unusual. Hm. 114 00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,605 Hi. Uh... 115 00:08:47,365 --> 00:08:49,525 - Do you have an appointment? - Uh, no. Uh... 116 00:08:49,605 --> 00:08:52,845 But can I just stay in here for a bit? Um... 117 00:08:53,965 --> 00:08:56,325 I... I want people to think I've had sex. 118 00:08:58,725 --> 00:09:00,565 Listen, I hear you. 119 00:09:01,365 --> 00:09:04,085 Peer pressure is hard, but living with regret is harder. 120 00:09:04,165 --> 00:09:05,885 No. Uh, sorry... Uh... 121 00:09:06,285 --> 00:09:07,645 I don't need therapy. I... 122 00:09:07,845 --> 00:09:09,610 I just wanted Molly Bell to see me coming in here 123 00:09:09,611 --> 00:09:10,885 so she thinks I've had sex. 124 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,525 Uh, you don't have to speak. 125 00:09:12,605 --> 00:09:14,685 Oh. Right. 126 00:09:15,285 --> 00:09:16,285 Okay. 127 00:09:41,965 --> 00:09:42,965 Morning, Eric. 128 00:09:43,045 --> 00:09:44,685 Morning, Jean. Love the kimono. 129 00:09:44,765 --> 00:09:46,165 Ooh, love the jumper. Look at that. 130 00:09:46,205 --> 00:09:47,245 Rrrrowl! 131 00:09:48,605 --> 00:09:49,605 Hm. 132 00:09:50,805 --> 00:09:53,125 - What do you want? - Is Otis ready? 133 00:09:53,205 --> 00:09:54,445 No, he's gone already. 134 00:09:54,805 --> 00:09:56,525 He had a project or something. 135 00:09:56,765 --> 00:09:57,885 Didn't he tell you? 136 00:09:58,485 --> 00:10:00,445 Oh, no, uh... He mu... He must have forgotten. 137 00:10:00,565 --> 00:10:02,645 What a silly little man. 138 00:10:03,285 --> 00:10:05,405 - Hm. - Mm. Okay. 139 00:10:05,485 --> 00:10:06,685 It can be hard... 140 00:10:07,765 --> 00:10:09,685 when friends find new interests. 141 00:10:11,245 --> 00:10:12,925 But you mustn't feel left behind. 142 00:10:13,365 --> 00:10:14,920 It can actually be an opportunity for you 143 00:10:14,921 --> 00:10:17,325 to find out what's important to you... 144 00:10:18,205 --> 00:10:20,165 - as an individual. - Yeah. 145 00:10:21,085 --> 00:10:22,565 - Mm. - Do you have any hobbies? 146 00:10:23,485 --> 00:10:24,885 Uh, not really. 147 00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:28,085 I used to sing in church choir, but then I realized I can't sing. 148 00:10:28,165 --> 00:10:30,325 - Right. - And I stopped believing in God. 149 00:10:30,405 --> 00:10:32,125 - That'll do it. - So... yeah. 150 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,365 So... 151 00:10:33,605 --> 00:10:35,205 Cool. Cool. 152 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,725 - Bye, Jean. - Bye, Eric. 153 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:38,965 Yeah. 154 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:42,445 - Jean Milburn? - Yeah, that's me. 155 00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:55,725 Bastard. 156 00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:08,485 E! My man. How's it hangin'? 157 00:11:09,525 --> 00:11:10,885 - Yeah... - What, this? 158 00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:14,125 Ed Sheeran. I mean, say what you want about the little fella, but... 159 00:11:14,205 --> 00:11:16,605 - he's a total genius, right? - Yeah. 160 00:11:16,685 --> 00:11:17,767 I've been meaning to speak to you. 161 00:11:17,768 --> 00:11:19,685 Swing Band are holding auditions today. 162 00:11:19,765 --> 00:11:22,301 - I think you should sign up. - I don't think that's a good idea. 163 00:11:22,325 --> 00:11:23,325 Why would you say that? 164 00:11:23,525 --> 00:11:24,845 Look, me and, uh... 165 00:11:26,365 --> 00:11:29,205 - Swing Band are sh... - Hip. Yes, we are. 166 00:11:29,285 --> 00:11:30,405 But one can only try. 167 00:11:30,685 --> 00:11:32,885 Trying's the whole game. No one can stop you trying. 168 00:11:32,965 --> 00:11:36,045 Well, they can try, I suppose. 169 00:11:36,125 --> 00:11:39,165 No, no, no, but seriously, I think you should swing by. 170 00:11:39,245 --> 00:11:40,245 Excuse the pun. 171 00:11:40,925 --> 00:11:42,405 You could be a really great fit. 172 00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:44,205 - Think about it. - Yeah... 173 00:11:44,285 --> 00:11:45,365 - Okay. - Yeah? 174 00:11:45,885 --> 00:11:47,525 Told you we'd make some money. 175 00:11:48,805 --> 00:11:51,765 - ... show you... - Uh... Sure, okay. 176 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,461 - See you later. - See you. 177 00:11:53,485 --> 00:11:55,805 Hey, Aimee, what are you doing later today? 178 00:11:55,885 --> 00:11:58,245 Going to Kyle's for a smoke. We're a thing now. 179 00:11:58,845 --> 00:12:01,925 - Why? - Basically, I need someone to help me... 180 00:12:02,005 --> 00:12:05,245 When you're stoned, do you ever get a really relaxed asshole? 181 00:12:05,685 --> 00:12:07,645 'Cause the other day, I was doing a bong with Kyle 182 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:09,805 and I literally thought I was gonna shit myself. 183 00:12:09,885 --> 00:12:11,765 Like, I could feel it inching out my bumhole. 184 00:12:11,845 --> 00:12:14,485 - Has that ever happened to you? - Not really. No. 185 00:12:14,565 --> 00:12:16,901 - Sorry, what were you saying? - What do you want, cock biter? 186 00:12:16,925 --> 00:12:19,285 Nothing. Gotta go. Cocks to bite. 187 00:12:20,005 --> 00:12:21,965 Maeve. Oh! 188 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,245 - You look hot today. - Huh. 189 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:24,925 - What are you doing later? - Why? 190 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:27,045 The qualifiers are today at 5:00 and I was gonna ask 191 00:12:27,085 --> 00:12:29,005 - if you felt like watching me swim? - Oh. 192 00:12:29,085 --> 00:12:30,565 Right, um... I can't. 193 00:12:30,885 --> 00:12:33,325 - Why not? What, you busy? - Yeah, maybe I am. 194 00:12:33,965 --> 00:12:36,885 Maybe I live a whole rich life filled with adventure and intrigue. 195 00:12:37,325 --> 00:12:39,925 It is possible to experience things you don't know about, Jackson. 196 00:12:40,085 --> 00:12:42,445 Okay. Uh... Well, I might see you later, then? 197 00:12:42,525 --> 00:12:45,245 If you're not too busy adventuring or intriguing. 198 00:12:48,525 --> 00:12:49,645 Jackson. 199 00:12:50,085 --> 00:12:51,085 Yeah? 200 00:12:52,485 --> 00:12:53,485 Uh... 201 00:12:54,485 --> 00:12:56,565 Uh, good luck later. 202 00:12:57,685 --> 00:12:59,245 Maeve. Hold on a second. 203 00:12:59,325 --> 00:13:02,245 I need to talk to you about your As You Like It essay. 204 00:13:02,605 --> 00:13:04,685 Uh... Interesting use of alliteration 205 00:13:04,765 --> 00:13:07,125 and quite a complex understanding of Shakespeare's ability 206 00:13:07,205 --> 00:13:08,805 - to penetrate the male psyche. - Thanks. 207 00:13:08,845 --> 00:13:10,205 - But... - But what? 208 00:13:11,245 --> 00:13:12,845 It's similar to Simone's. 209 00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:14,725 Very similar, Maeve. 210 00:13:15,485 --> 00:13:18,045 Maybe we're just being churned out like little robots. 211 00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:20,485 - Hm. You're a funny girl. Quick. - Mm-hm. 212 00:13:20,685 --> 00:13:22,725 Why don't you put some of that into your work? 213 00:13:22,805 --> 00:13:25,086 I really don't think you need to be copying Simone's work. 214 00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,845 Please do not get yourself kicked out of school. 215 00:13:27,925 --> 00:13:31,005 It would be a colossal waste of everyone's time. 216 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,565 Aren't you supposed to say something encouraging? 217 00:13:34,085 --> 00:13:35,125 Shine brighter. 218 00:13:38,205 --> 00:13:40,365 So please remember to bring in your baked goods 219 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,605 for the girls in year nine who are raising money for Ugandan... 220 00:13:48,445 --> 00:13:49,685 sanitary products. 221 00:13:51,725 --> 00:13:53,045 As we all know... 222 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,965 well, some of us, uh, more than others... 223 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,685 Uh, that special... 224 00:13:59,125 --> 00:14:02,405 time of the month for women is very normal. 225 00:14:02,485 --> 00:14:05,341 - Where were you this morning? - ... alter their everyday lives 226 00:14:05,365 --> 00:14:08,605 - beyond mild inconvenience. - Something really bad happened. 227 00:14:08,805 --> 00:14:10,605 You forgot to save Zelda again? 228 00:14:10,685 --> 00:14:11,981 So, imagine, if you will... 229 00:14:12,005 --> 00:14:14,685 - I had a... sex dream... - ... that you do not have any sanitary... 230 00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:17,165 - ... about Maeve. - That's brilliant! 231 00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:22,925 About the sanitary things, yaaas! 232 00:14:23,005 --> 00:14:24,925 Uh, anyway, um... uh... 233 00:14:25,045 --> 00:14:27,365 that most uncomfortable thought... 234 00:14:27,445 --> 00:14:30,421 - Oh, my God. Tell me everything. - ... is why the fearless year nine girls... 235 00:14:30,445 --> 00:14:32,525 Was it ALS challenge or just your basic dick sneeze? 236 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,565 - It feels wrong, okay? I don't like it. - No, it's fine. 237 00:14:35,645 --> 00:14:38,245 It's not fine, okay? My brain objectified her 238 00:14:38,325 --> 00:14:41,645 - and I feel like a... like a bad person. - But it's normal! 239 00:14:45,045 --> 00:14:48,445 Menstruation is a very good thing. 240 00:14:49,445 --> 00:14:52,045 Actually, it's... it's good to have a good clean out. 241 00:14:52,405 --> 00:14:53,405 Um... 242 00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,045 Um, it's very healthy, actually, okay? 243 00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:57,725 - Because if... - Sit down. Sit down. 244 00:15:01,125 --> 00:15:03,365 Dude, I am so proud of you. 245 00:15:19,805 --> 00:15:21,805 See you later. 246 00:15:21,885 --> 00:15:23,485 - Lightning! - Pssssh! 247 00:15:25,245 --> 00:15:26,325 - All right, dickhead? - Hi. 248 00:15:26,405 --> 00:15:27,885 Maeve, nice to see you again. 249 00:15:28,325 --> 00:15:29,885 'Cause I saw you this morning. 250 00:15:29,965 --> 00:15:31,605 In school, not in my dreams. 251 00:15:32,805 --> 00:15:33,965 I need to ask a favor. 252 00:15:34,645 --> 00:15:36,045 Oh, yeah? Uh, what is it? 253 00:15:36,125 --> 00:15:38,245 I need you to meet me somewhere after school at 6:30. 254 00:15:39,085 --> 00:15:40,725 - Is this a clinic thing? - No. 255 00:15:41,645 --> 00:15:43,645 If you can't, don't worry. But... 256 00:15:43,765 --> 00:15:45,245 Oh, yeah, Yeah, yeah. No, I can. 257 00:15:45,325 --> 00:15:46,485 - Yeah? - Completely. 258 00:15:46,565 --> 00:15:49,205 - Um, whereabouts, exactly? - Cool. I'll text you the address. 259 00:15:49,285 --> 00:15:50,445 - Cool beans. - See you later. 260 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,365 Cool beans. 261 00:15:56,325 --> 00:15:58,005 She's asking you on a date. 262 00:15:58,085 --> 00:15:59,605 - It's not a date. - It's a date! 263 00:15:59,685 --> 00:16:00,821 - She called me dickhead. - Oh. 264 00:16:00,845 --> 00:16:02,981 You don't call someone dickhead and ask them on a date. 265 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:05,125 She probably knows I had a creepy sex dream about her. 266 00:16:05,205 --> 00:16:07,445 Now she's gonna expose me as the lech that I am. 267 00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:09,245 Uh, okay, she's not a psychic. 268 00:16:09,805 --> 00:16:12,645 Also, chill out. You jizzed your pants, you're not Hannibal Lecter. 269 00:16:12,725 --> 00:16:15,525 - What if I am? - Okay, what happened in this dream? 270 00:16:17,165 --> 00:16:18,325 She was... 271 00:16:18,965 --> 00:16:20,325 - Her pants... - Uh-huh? 272 00:16:20,405 --> 00:16:23,005 And... No, actually, I don't wanna talk about this. 273 00:16:23,085 --> 00:16:26,245 I... Oh, okay. Well, what's at 439 Trently, anyway? 274 00:16:26,325 --> 00:16:28,090 It's a tower block with a load of businesses 275 00:16:28,091 --> 00:16:30,205 and... and a sushi restaurant. 276 00:16:31,765 --> 00:16:34,525 - Why would she want me to have sushi? - Raw fish is an aphrodisiac. 277 00:16:34,605 --> 00:16:37,525 - This is totally a date! - Oh, this is making me feel weird. 278 00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:40,325 - I don't like being out of control. - You'll be fine. 279 00:16:40,405 --> 00:16:42,485 Okay? Whatever it is, just be casual. 280 00:16:42,565 --> 00:16:44,565 Girls like dudes that are casual. 281 00:16:45,325 --> 00:16:46,525 You know, chilled. 282 00:16:47,845 --> 00:16:50,845 But maybe reconsider your outfit just in case it is a date. 283 00:16:50,925 --> 00:16:52,181 - It's not a date. - It's a date. 284 00:16:52,205 --> 00:16:53,405 It's definitely... 285 00:16:54,325 --> 00:16:56,765 - What do you think I should wear? - Ooh! Um... 286 00:16:57,565 --> 00:16:59,645 Okay, uh, think Jon Hamm. 287 00:16:59,725 --> 00:17:00,725 But chilled. 288 00:17:01,125 --> 00:17:02,765 Okay? Like casual Hamm. 289 00:17:03,165 --> 00:17:06,165 I'm not casual, though! And I look nothing like Jon Hamm. 290 00:17:06,245 --> 00:17:07,405 - Yeah, that's true. - My God. 291 00:17:07,645 --> 00:17:08,845 I need some new clothes. 292 00:17:10,205 --> 00:17:12,005 Bye, Casual Hamm. 293 00:17:12,085 --> 00:17:13,845 Oh, this? 294 00:17:13,925 --> 00:17:16,285 Yeah, no, I'm auditionin' for Swing Band, thanks for askin'. 295 00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:20,005 So nice that you care about what's happenin' in my life. 296 00:17:23,765 --> 00:17:24,925 Okay, good night. 297 00:17:25,005 --> 00:17:26,605 Good night. 298 00:17:40,565 --> 00:17:43,485 Good try, Eric! 299 00:17:43,885 --> 00:17:45,965 Huh? Right, team? 300 00:17:46,925 --> 00:17:47,925 You know, 301 00:17:48,925 --> 00:17:50,485 Swing Band's a collective. 302 00:17:50,845 --> 00:17:52,725 I'm merely the guy with the baton. 303 00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:55,365 So I'll leave it to the gang to decide whether or not you're in, 304 00:17:55,445 --> 00:17:58,365 but, remember that Leon has leukemia 305 00:17:58,485 --> 00:18:00,605 and we do desperately need a French horn. 306 00:18:01,405 --> 00:18:02,845 So... 307 00:18:03,325 --> 00:18:04,325 What do we say? 308 00:18:05,525 --> 00:18:07,725 Is Eric in da posse? 309 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,005 Huh? 310 00:18:11,365 --> 00:18:13,045 Show of hands, please. 311 00:18:15,205 --> 00:18:16,805 Can we get a show of hands, please? 312 00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:20,325 And there it is. 313 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:21,725 You're in, Eric. 314 00:18:22,085 --> 00:18:24,125 Congrats, man! 315 00:18:24,565 --> 00:18:26,285 Pull up a pew, Mr. Magoo. 316 00:18:27,285 --> 00:18:28,365 Sit down, girl. 317 00:18:28,445 --> 00:18:30,005 Get outta here! Go on, sit down. 318 00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:33,205 Okay, so... 319 00:18:33,525 --> 00:18:35,685 - Let's watch... - I can practice with you if you like. 320 00:18:36,205 --> 00:18:38,325 Get you up to speed. 321 00:18:38,405 --> 00:18:39,885 Okay, okay, okay. 322 00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:41,365 Great, how about after school? 323 00:18:41,445 --> 00:18:43,245 - Okay, and I want more sax on bar 12. - Yeah. 324 00:18:43,325 --> 00:18:45,045 - Here we go! Good. - Yeah. Coolio. 325 00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,685 Okay, guys, from the top. 326 00:18:47,245 --> 00:18:49,165 One, two, three, four. One! 327 00:18:52,085 --> 00:18:53,125 God! 328 00:18:54,845 --> 00:18:55,845 Oh! 329 00:18:56,805 --> 00:18:58,245 Feel it! 330 00:19:12,205 --> 00:19:15,445 That was tight as fuck. 331 00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:17,125 God! 332 00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,525 Eat it! 333 00:19:20,965 --> 00:19:23,645 At eight weeks, your baby's heart is beating. 334 00:19:24,165 --> 00:19:25,845 At 15 weeks, your baby can see light. 335 00:19:25,925 --> 00:19:27,925 Did you know that at six weeks, your baby can feel? 336 00:19:28,005 --> 00:19:29,005 Shut up. 337 00:19:29,765 --> 00:19:32,285 Life begins at conception. Termination is murder. 338 00:19:33,285 --> 00:19:35,525 - God loves you. - Yeah, well, I wish he'd worn a condom. 339 00:19:35,605 --> 00:19:36,605 Wait, just... 340 00:19:37,685 --> 00:19:40,285 What is wrong with you? Do you hate all life? 341 00:19:42,645 --> 00:19:43,965 I'm fine. Please don't touch me. 342 00:19:49,445 --> 00:19:52,925 Oh! Shittin' hell... 343 00:19:53,245 --> 00:19:54,245 Ah... 344 00:19:54,965 --> 00:19:56,685 That is a lot of steps. 345 00:19:57,485 --> 00:19:59,205 Are you all right, ladies? 346 00:20:00,205 --> 00:20:01,965 You all right, love? Yeah? 347 00:20:03,205 --> 00:20:04,205 Hello. 348 00:20:04,565 --> 00:20:06,485 If you could just give me the form. 349 00:20:06,525 --> 00:20:08,605 I've... I've been here before. 350 00:20:09,365 --> 00:20:11,365 Oh. 351 00:20:14,885 --> 00:20:16,045 Oh! 352 00:20:16,645 --> 00:20:17,645 Right. 353 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:19,845 Bloody hell. 354 00:20:20,325 --> 00:20:23,405 They treat us like toddlers, don't they? All this hand-holdin'. 355 00:20:27,765 --> 00:20:29,325 Well, you're chatty, aren't you? 356 00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:31,565 Don't feel like talking. 357 00:20:32,125 --> 00:20:33,925 Suit yourself, princess. 358 00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:37,125 ♪ I think I'm in love with you ♪ 359 00:20:37,205 --> 00:20:38,925 ♪ I think I'm in love with you ♪ 360 00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,205 ♪ As long as you... ♪ 361 00:20:40,285 --> 00:20:41,925 Oh, Christ on a bike. 362 00:20:42,965 --> 00:20:46,445 - ♪ I think I'm in love with you ♪ - Can... Um... 'Scuse me. Can we, um... 363 00:20:46,525 --> 00:20:48,325 Can... Can we change the channels? 364 00:20:49,045 --> 00:20:52,965 I just really don't think soft porn's the right tone. 365 00:20:53,925 --> 00:20:55,165 Fucking hell. 366 00:20:57,045 --> 00:21:00,325 - Do you mind not doing that, please? - Got it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 367 00:21:03,165 --> 00:21:05,325 ... peninsula of France? 368 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,805 - Oh! Score! - What got into the capital... 369 00:21:07,885 --> 00:21:10,845 - ... leader in 1946... - You any good at quizzes? 370 00:21:10,925 --> 00:21:12,765 - ... original name in '93, which leader? - No. 371 00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,445 The American War of Independence took place 372 00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,085 during the reign of which British king? 373 00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:18,365 Uh, Henry VIII. 374 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:19,485 - George III. - Yeah. 375 00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:21,421 - Whose 1950 novel A Town Like Alice... - Fuckin' tits! 376 00:21:21,445 --> 00:21:24,165 ... is set in the Far Eastern theatre of the Second World War? 377 00:21:34,125 --> 00:21:35,125 Okay. 378 00:21:41,805 --> 00:21:43,245 Otis, it's your dad calling. 379 00:21:43,325 --> 00:21:44,525 I've got a... got a thing. 380 00:21:48,685 --> 00:21:49,685 Hi, Remi. 381 00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,685 Sorry, he, uh... has a thing. 382 00:21:51,765 --> 00:21:54,685 Oh, no, I was hoping to catch you. Did you, uh... 383 00:21:54,765 --> 00:21:57,005 - Did you get the books? - Uh, yes, I did. 384 00:21:57,085 --> 00:21:59,325 Well, could you sign them and send them back to me? 385 00:21:59,405 --> 00:22:01,045 I'll pay for the shipping. 386 00:22:01,125 --> 00:22:02,805 I just need them for this bloody book tour. 387 00:22:02,885 --> 00:22:07,045 - I've got these hardcore fans now... - Will do, okay. Bye. 388 00:22:07,365 --> 00:22:09,205 No, wait. Um... Wait, uh... 389 00:22:09,405 --> 00:22:10,765 How are you getting on? 390 00:22:10,845 --> 00:22:12,125 Have you been writing? 391 00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:13,365 Yes. 392 00:22:13,525 --> 00:22:16,285 Yes, in fact, I'm starting a new book. 393 00:22:16,885 --> 00:22:18,845 A new book? Well, that's... that's great! 394 00:22:19,365 --> 00:22:21,485 So... So who's your new publisher now, then? 395 00:22:21,565 --> 00:22:23,503 'Cause I... I heard through the grapevine 396 00:22:23,504 --> 00:22:26,085 that your old one had to let you go. 397 00:22:28,045 --> 00:22:29,045 I... You know. 398 00:22:29,285 --> 00:22:33,005 I'm floating it around, as you do, just trying to find the right fit. 399 00:22:33,205 --> 00:22:34,245 You know that whole... 400 00:22:34,965 --> 00:22:35,965 rigmarole. 401 00:22:36,005 --> 00:22:37,525 Good for you. 402 00:22:37,605 --> 00:22:40,805 I... I'm just surprised, I guess, that... 403 00:22:40,885 --> 00:22:42,725 that you're writing again, 'cause, uh... 404 00:22:42,885 --> 00:22:44,706 you always found it so hard to focus, didn't you, 405 00:22:44,707 --> 00:22:45,845 when we were together? 406 00:22:45,925 --> 00:22:47,965 I guess being single is freeing, Remi. 407 00:22:48,205 --> 00:22:52,365 Oh! So severe, Jeanie. So severe. 408 00:22:52,445 --> 00:22:55,245 Go on, though, what's it all about, eh? 409 00:22:55,325 --> 00:22:56,325 Elevator pitch. 410 00:22:57,205 --> 00:22:58,205 Sex? 411 00:22:58,765 --> 00:23:00,285 - My patients? - Ah. 412 00:23:00,565 --> 00:23:02,885 Oh! That's one now. 413 00:23:03,205 --> 00:23:06,685 Really important one, fascinating... sexual issues. 414 00:23:06,765 --> 00:23:07,765 Bye, Remi. 415 00:23:08,365 --> 00:23:12,165 Oh, uh... please Skype with Otis this week. 416 00:23:12,245 --> 00:23:14,605 - He gets very down when you don't. - Yes, of course. 417 00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:15,725 Thank you. 418 00:23:16,765 --> 00:23:21,605 Fucking piece of... wanking piece of fucking shit! 419 00:23:21,685 --> 00:23:25,885 Yes, I'm writing a book, you fuck. You don't fucking own words, you... 420 00:23:26,765 --> 00:23:28,885 Shit! 421 00:23:29,245 --> 00:23:31,245 Ow! 422 00:23:33,085 --> 00:23:35,685 Bearded piece of fucking shit. 423 00:23:55,085 --> 00:23:56,805 Take that, Thunderdick. 424 00:24:06,525 --> 00:24:08,645 Hello, Maeve, how are you? 425 00:24:09,805 --> 00:24:10,805 Hey. 426 00:24:11,125 --> 00:24:13,885 It's really nice to hang out with you outside of school. 427 00:24:16,245 --> 00:24:18,805 I really admire your strength. 428 00:24:19,325 --> 00:24:21,885 Excuse me. Are you picking someone up? 429 00:24:23,165 --> 00:24:25,085 I'm... I'm just meeting a friend. 430 00:24:25,885 --> 00:24:27,365 Is she having an abortion? 431 00:24:28,605 --> 00:24:32,325 No! We're just getting some sushi. I think. 432 00:24:32,685 --> 00:24:35,125 Is sushi some kind of sick code for killing your baby? 433 00:24:35,205 --> 00:24:36,205 I don't think so. 434 00:24:36,285 --> 00:24:38,765 We have some pamphlets we think you'd be very interested in. 435 00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:40,301 At six weeks, your baby can feel. 436 00:24:40,325 --> 00:24:42,261 - At eight weeks... - Please, don't do this! 437 00:24:42,285 --> 00:24:44,645 At 15 weeks, a baby can see light. 438 00:24:46,445 --> 00:24:48,741 Which novel by the English Quaker, Anna Sewell, 439 00:24:48,765 --> 00:24:51,165 is subtitled The Autobiography of a Horse? 440 00:24:51,325 --> 00:24:53,245 Horse? Uh... Horse. 441 00:24:53,805 --> 00:24:56,165 - Uh, uh, Sea... Uh, Seabiscuit! - Black Beauty. 442 00:24:56,925 --> 00:24:58,261 - Black Beauty. - Yeah. 443 00:24:58,285 --> 00:25:01,645 Who was deputy leader of the Conservative Party from 1975 to '91... 444 00:25:01,725 --> 00:25:04,781 - I knew you weren't just a pretty face. - ... Thatcher's first Home Secretary... 445 00:25:04,805 --> 00:25:08,645 Hi, um... Sorry, look, I'm looking for, uh... 446 00:25:09,245 --> 00:25:11,085 Maeve, hi. 447 00:25:11,845 --> 00:25:13,085 Hey. 448 00:25:13,205 --> 00:25:15,405 I, uh... I didn't know whether to come in or not. 449 00:25:15,485 --> 00:25:17,405 You didn't specify where to meet you. 450 00:25:17,805 --> 00:25:20,445 Uh... Why are we in an abortion clinic? 451 00:25:24,685 --> 00:25:26,605 - Oh. - I said 6:30. 452 00:25:27,805 --> 00:25:30,125 - On time is late. - What the hell does that even mean? 453 00:25:30,765 --> 00:25:32,605 - And why are you wearing a suit? - Uh... 454 00:25:32,685 --> 00:25:35,005 - Casual Hamm? - Ugh. Just leave, now. 455 00:25:35,085 --> 00:25:36,525 - Just go. - Okay. Yes, sorry. 456 00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:38,125 Leaving. 457 00:25:39,365 --> 00:25:40,885 Do you still want me to wait? 458 00:25:41,125 --> 00:25:43,005 She'll still need someone to take her home. 459 00:25:43,805 --> 00:25:44,805 Okay. 460 00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:49,045 He looks sweet. Don't really seem like your type, though. 461 00:25:49,445 --> 00:25:50,445 He's not. 462 00:25:51,605 --> 00:25:52,925 A little bit of advice, lovey. 463 00:25:53,005 --> 00:25:55,365 If you want a happy life, you keep the sweet ones around. 464 00:25:55,445 --> 00:25:56,845 I don't need a mum, thanks. 465 00:25:56,925 --> 00:25:58,885 Okay, Einstein! 466 00:25:59,005 --> 00:26:01,690 Which novelist and artist illustrated 467 00:26:01,691 --> 00:26:03,365 his own series of novels, Titus Groan, 468 00:26:03,445 --> 00:26:04,925 Gormenghast and Titus Alone? 469 00:26:05,005 --> 00:26:07,885 - Come on, I bet you know this one. - Yeah, it's Mervyn Peake. 470 00:26:07,965 --> 00:26:08,965 - Mervyn Peake. - Yeah. 471 00:26:09,045 --> 00:26:11,421 I think we'd all appreciate a bit of quiet right now, thanks. 472 00:26:11,445 --> 00:26:13,285 ... called Berlin Game and Mexico Set. 473 00:26:13,365 --> 00:26:15,805 What city is in the title of the third book, Match... 474 00:26:26,045 --> 00:26:27,765 She's totally having an abortion, isn't she? 475 00:26:28,205 --> 00:26:30,285 Scumbags, I hope you get raped! 476 00:26:32,685 --> 00:26:33,725 Ugh! 477 00:26:34,005 --> 00:26:35,005 What the hell? 478 00:26:35,645 --> 00:26:37,925 - You okay? - Uh... Yeah. 479 00:26:38,005 --> 00:26:40,925 - Did it get in your eyes or mouth? - I don't think so. 480 00:26:41,005 --> 00:26:42,445 I've got some wipes with me. 481 00:26:42,725 --> 00:26:45,085 - Your friend's gonna burn in hell. - Okay, well, I don't... 482 00:26:45,805 --> 00:26:48,405 see it that way, but thank you for the wipe. 483 00:26:48,805 --> 00:26:50,525 - Can I have a wipe? - Get your own wipe. 484 00:26:54,765 --> 00:26:56,325 People don't normally throw stuff. 485 00:26:56,405 --> 00:26:57,405 Okay, well. 486 00:26:58,045 --> 00:27:00,845 Good luck with that. I'm... I'm going away now. 487 00:27:03,125 --> 00:27:04,805 That bench has got sick on it. 488 00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:08,645 You can sit with us if you like. 489 00:27:09,865 --> 00:27:10,880 But he's... 490 00:27:10,885 --> 00:27:12,965 We're all God's children. Now shut up, Charlie. 491 00:27:17,885 --> 00:27:19,925 ... as Ivanhoe in the 1958... 492 00:27:20,165 --> 00:27:21,445 - Oh, my God! - Come on! 493 00:27:21,525 --> 00:27:22,565 - Dad! - Leave the channel! 494 00:27:22,605 --> 00:27:24,525 - You wanna sort this out? - It isn't fair! 495 00:27:24,605 --> 00:27:25,645 It was the right channel! 496 00:27:25,725 --> 00:27:27,101 This isn't fair! 497 00:27:27,125 --> 00:27:28,125 That's for me! 498 00:27:28,325 --> 00:27:29,885 That's for me. Sorry. 499 00:27:32,085 --> 00:27:34,045 I just saw two pigeons having sex. 500 00:27:35,205 --> 00:27:36,205 Oh. 501 00:27:36,605 --> 00:27:38,445 Great. Well, come on in, then. 502 00:27:38,525 --> 00:27:40,845 Eric, who is your friend? 503 00:27:40,925 --> 00:27:43,525 This is Lily. We're practicing for Swing Band together. 504 00:27:43,605 --> 00:27:46,285 - Don't stop, don't talk, go! - Keep your door open, please. 505 00:27:46,365 --> 00:27:47,405 Yeah, Pa. 506 00:27:49,605 --> 00:27:51,725 - Who are those girls? - My sisters. 507 00:27:53,445 --> 00:27:54,605 It's a girl. 508 00:27:55,165 --> 00:27:56,365 Ooh! 509 00:27:56,445 --> 00:27:57,525 Eric's got a girlfriend! 510 00:27:58,765 --> 00:27:59,805 A girlfriend. 511 00:28:06,005 --> 00:28:07,005 Hey. 512 00:28:08,085 --> 00:28:09,245 It'll be all right. 513 00:28:11,765 --> 00:28:13,005 I promise. 514 00:28:17,805 --> 00:28:19,365 Just take my bloody hand. 515 00:28:40,445 --> 00:28:42,925 Maeve? 516 00:28:43,005 --> 00:28:44,565 Hi, Maeve. I'm Dr. Atwan. 517 00:28:44,645 --> 00:28:45,885 Hop up on the table. 518 00:29:01,365 --> 00:29:04,365 - Maeve, are you right- or left-handed? - Right-handed. 519 00:29:22,445 --> 00:29:26,525 A sharp scratch... 520 00:29:34,685 --> 00:29:36,245 This will make you a little bit sleepy. 521 00:29:39,605 --> 00:29:41,565 So, do you have any hobbies, Maeve? 522 00:29:41,965 --> 00:29:44,365 Oh, the usual. Water polo. 523 00:29:44,925 --> 00:29:45,925 Crochet. 524 00:29:46,565 --> 00:29:48,205 I also run illegal cock fights. 525 00:29:49,805 --> 00:29:51,725 Is this supposed to be knocking me out? 526 00:29:52,365 --> 00:29:53,485 'Cause I don't think... 527 00:30:06,845 --> 00:30:08,725 You can't still be angry with me. 528 00:30:09,365 --> 00:30:11,005 You should be ashamed! 529 00:30:11,325 --> 00:30:12,685 I'm not with them. 530 00:30:12,765 --> 00:30:14,245 I'm just waiting for a friend. 531 00:30:14,925 --> 00:30:16,365 That bench had sick on it. 532 00:30:17,325 --> 00:30:19,765 You spelt "foetus" wrong again, Charlie. It's not that hard. 533 00:30:20,805 --> 00:30:23,165 Maybe I should just leave. You obviously don't want me here. 534 00:30:23,245 --> 00:30:25,285 Oh, right, so the babies aren't that important then? 535 00:30:25,365 --> 00:30:27,525 Okay. I think I am gonna go to the shops. 536 00:30:28,005 --> 00:30:30,205 - Stretch my legs. - I'll come with you. 537 00:30:32,645 --> 00:30:35,205 Okay, well, how about we all go to the shops together? 538 00:30:35,285 --> 00:30:37,645 - I'm not going with him. - Whatever. 539 00:30:48,445 --> 00:30:50,805 Okay, I think we're about ready to start. 540 00:30:50,885 --> 00:30:52,485 Would you like to have sex with me? 541 00:30:52,565 --> 00:30:55,685 What... What are you doing? Why are you naked? 542 00:30:55,765 --> 00:30:57,645 - It's okay. I want to. - Oh! 543 00:30:58,245 --> 00:30:59,405 I'd like to have sex. 544 00:30:59,485 --> 00:31:03,845 I think you're sexy, and I really want to have sex with someone. 545 00:31:04,205 --> 00:31:05,805 - I'm gay! - Fuck! Really? 546 00:31:05,885 --> 00:31:07,045 Yeah, properly. 547 00:31:10,205 --> 00:31:12,405 - You could pretend I'm a boy. - Um, I don't think... 548 00:31:12,645 --> 00:31:16,365 - We could wank each other off. - No. No. No, thank you. 549 00:31:28,685 --> 00:31:30,765 - Is that your boyfriend? - No. 550 00:31:30,845 --> 00:31:32,525 - No, it's Jesus. - Really? 551 00:31:33,045 --> 00:31:34,925 - Uh... - I didn't realize Jesus could be black. 552 00:31:36,085 --> 00:31:39,645 Well, he was probably brown, but, you know, why not black? 553 00:31:40,925 --> 00:31:44,205 God, black Jesus is much sexier than white Jesus. 554 00:31:45,725 --> 00:31:47,325 How come your Jesus has muscles? 555 00:31:47,805 --> 00:31:50,085 Well, he probably had to do a lot of carryin' and stuff. 556 00:31:50,165 --> 00:31:51,845 - What's in here? - Uh, no... 557 00:31:54,645 --> 00:31:56,405 - Do you dress up like a lady? - No. 558 00:31:57,125 --> 00:31:59,886 No, I mean, I like dressin' up, but no, I'm not a ladyboy or anythin'. 559 00:32:00,565 --> 00:32:02,645 Let's do a makeover. 560 00:32:04,125 --> 00:32:06,805 Really? Okay! 561 00:32:21,045 --> 00:32:22,365 Come on, Jackson! 562 00:32:25,925 --> 00:32:27,085 Come on! 563 00:32:27,205 --> 00:32:28,485 Jackson! 564 00:32:29,565 --> 00:32:31,045 Jackson! 565 00:32:37,725 --> 00:32:39,205 On your marks, please. 566 00:32:54,445 --> 00:32:57,205 - He had sex with someone else. - Okay. 567 00:32:57,285 --> 00:32:59,805 It's just so hard to get that image out of my brain, you know? 568 00:32:59,885 --> 00:33:01,460 - Yeah. - I look at him 569 00:33:01,465 --> 00:33:03,381 and all I see is other women with their lady bits, 570 00:33:03,405 --> 00:33:05,165 and he's putting his bits in their bits. 571 00:33:05,245 --> 00:33:06,725 Penetrative sex. It's horrible. 572 00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:09,805 - Have you ever had someone cheat on you? - Um... 573 00:33:10,485 --> 00:33:11,485 No. 574 00:33:13,005 --> 00:33:14,085 When did this happen? 575 00:33:14,645 --> 00:33:16,005 It was before we got together. 576 00:33:17,285 --> 00:33:19,045 I thought you just said he cheated. 577 00:33:19,445 --> 00:33:21,485 He did cheat, on Jesus. 578 00:33:22,245 --> 00:33:24,125 We're supposed to wait till marriage. 579 00:33:24,725 --> 00:33:26,005 But Charlie's born again. 580 00:33:26,485 --> 00:33:28,165 Before he joined our church, he had a... 581 00:33:29,445 --> 00:33:32,725 very different lifestyle, or so I recently discovered. 582 00:33:34,365 --> 00:33:36,765 Well, yeah, I can imagine it's hard 583 00:33:37,005 --> 00:33:39,605 when you're comparing your lack of experience 584 00:33:39,685 --> 00:33:41,685 to someone else's sexual history. 585 00:33:41,765 --> 00:33:44,285 What? No, I have experience. 586 00:33:45,125 --> 00:33:46,365 - You do? - Yeah. 587 00:33:46,445 --> 00:33:50,885 Hand jobs, fingering, oral, 69ing, a bit of anal stuff. 588 00:33:50,965 --> 00:33:53,605 - That's extensive. - Yeah, but no sex. 589 00:33:54,045 --> 00:33:56,645 That's sacred, between a man and woman on their wedding night. 590 00:33:56,725 --> 00:33:58,045 Or it's supposed to be, but... 591 00:33:58,845 --> 00:34:00,245 I'll just be another girl to him. 592 00:34:02,125 --> 00:34:05,885 Jackson! Keep it going, son! Keep your stroke! 593 00:34:05,965 --> 00:34:08,325 You're nearly there! Come on! 594 00:34:10,445 --> 00:34:12,885 Come on, that's right! Go on! 595 00:34:12,965 --> 00:34:14,165 Go! Keep it going! 596 00:34:20,045 --> 00:34:21,525 Yes! 597 00:34:21,725 --> 00:34:24,045 - Yes! - Well done! 598 00:34:24,125 --> 00:34:26,525 Well done, my son! 599 00:34:29,925 --> 00:34:32,005 Yes, Jackson! 600 00:34:33,925 --> 00:34:35,125 Yes! 601 00:34:36,845 --> 00:34:38,365 - Well done, my boy. - Thank you, sir. 602 00:34:38,445 --> 00:34:40,885 - Oh, well done, lad! Well done! - Thank you. 603 00:34:42,365 --> 00:34:44,461 - The school is very proud of you. - Oh, thank you, sir. 604 00:34:44,485 --> 00:34:45,645 Oh! 605 00:34:46,165 --> 00:34:48,005 Thank you, sir. Hey, Mum. 606 00:34:48,085 --> 00:34:49,205 Well done! 607 00:34:49,285 --> 00:34:51,685 Listen, you're gonna have to push yourself much harder 608 00:34:51,765 --> 00:34:53,821 if you're gonna qualify for the counties. 609 00:34:53,845 --> 00:34:56,005 - Look, that was my best time yet. - No, I know. 610 00:34:56,445 --> 00:34:58,205 But we can do better. Yeah? 611 00:34:58,285 --> 00:34:59,645 - Great. - Yeah. 612 00:35:00,365 --> 00:35:02,285 - Nice one. - Well done. 613 00:35:04,765 --> 00:35:06,005 - Well done. - Cheers. 614 00:35:14,605 --> 00:35:15,885 All right... 615 00:35:20,965 --> 00:35:23,221 I know this is none of my business, but... 616 00:35:23,245 --> 00:35:26,006 ... you've kind of involved me here, so I'm just gonna have to say it. 617 00:35:26,205 --> 00:35:29,925 Charlie can't change his past. And what's important is who he is now. 618 00:35:31,045 --> 00:35:33,445 I mean, we all mess up and do impure things. 619 00:35:33,805 --> 00:35:35,205 Doesn't mean we're bad people. 620 00:35:37,605 --> 00:35:38,605 All right? 621 00:35:40,125 --> 00:35:42,845 Besides, didn't Jesus say something about forgiveness? 622 00:35:43,845 --> 00:35:46,005 Yeah, it's pretty much his whole thing. 623 00:35:50,525 --> 00:35:52,445 What do you get someone who's having an abortion? 624 00:35:53,565 --> 00:35:54,645 Sunscreen. 625 00:35:55,005 --> 00:35:56,245 They'll need it in Hell. 626 00:36:09,965 --> 00:36:11,125 Thank you. 627 00:36:16,685 --> 00:36:19,365 It's very annoying that you don't want to have sex with me. 628 00:36:19,445 --> 00:36:21,445 Sorry. 629 00:36:21,965 --> 00:36:23,925 - I just wanna know how it feels. - Yeah. 630 00:36:24,725 --> 00:36:25,845 Have you done it? 631 00:36:26,085 --> 00:36:29,445 Not all the way, but I do watch quite a lot of porno. 632 00:36:29,525 --> 00:36:31,565 - Show me. - You don't wanna see gay porn. 633 00:36:31,645 --> 00:36:32,925 I definitely do. 634 00:36:40,325 --> 00:36:41,565 It's called rimmin'. 635 00:36:42,685 --> 00:36:44,965 - Looks fun. - Mm-hm. 636 00:36:45,045 --> 00:36:46,981 - What do you think it feels like? - What, rimming? 637 00:36:47,005 --> 00:36:48,085 No, sex. 638 00:36:48,645 --> 00:36:49,645 I don't know. 639 00:36:50,285 --> 00:36:51,405 I think it'll be nice. 640 00:36:52,485 --> 00:36:54,965 It feels good to wank, so it must be like that, but better. 641 00:36:55,405 --> 00:36:57,725 And doing it with someone who likes you must be awesome, 642 00:36:57,805 --> 00:36:59,005 because they really get you. 643 00:36:59,085 --> 00:37:01,445 Maybe the two of you become one, like the Spice Girls said. 644 00:37:02,525 --> 00:37:03,645 Oh! 645 00:37:03,725 --> 00:37:04,845 - I'm not sure. - Hm? 646 00:37:04,925 --> 00:37:07,485 - I just wanna feel a dick in my vagina. - Mm-hm. 647 00:37:14,485 --> 00:37:16,565 Lily, it's time for you to go home. 648 00:37:17,165 --> 00:37:18,165 Um... 649 00:37:20,125 --> 00:37:21,325 Thank you for having me. 650 00:37:23,605 --> 00:37:25,405 See you at school, Eric. 651 00:37:35,725 --> 00:37:38,005 It was me who asked to see the rimming. 652 00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:41,125 Sorry. 653 00:37:45,325 --> 00:37:46,485 Dad, it wasn't... 654 00:37:47,245 --> 00:37:48,925 We were just havin' a bit of fun. 655 00:37:49,765 --> 00:37:52,325 - You know, dressin' up for... - It's time for you to grow up. 656 00:37:52,565 --> 00:37:54,685 Get a job, take responsibility. 657 00:37:55,405 --> 00:37:57,445 See what the real world is all about. 658 00:37:59,565 --> 00:38:01,925 Take that stuff off your face before your mother sees. 659 00:38:16,885 --> 00:38:17,885 Hey. 660 00:38:20,365 --> 00:38:21,525 I fixed the sign. 661 00:38:22,405 --> 00:38:23,645 Your sign looks really good. 662 00:38:32,485 --> 00:38:33,485 Um... 663 00:38:34,805 --> 00:38:37,565 When we come out, you won't shout at my friend, will you? 664 00:38:38,565 --> 00:38:39,565 Um... 665 00:38:41,965 --> 00:38:43,085 Probably will. 666 00:38:44,245 --> 00:38:45,565 Yeah, I thought so. 667 00:39:08,485 --> 00:39:09,765 Try and drink. 668 00:39:10,685 --> 00:39:11,685 Mousse? 669 00:39:12,645 --> 00:39:13,645 Um... 670 00:39:14,445 --> 00:39:15,445 Thanks. 671 00:39:21,805 --> 00:39:23,125 Hello, Sarah. 672 00:39:23,765 --> 00:39:25,645 I remember you from last time. 673 00:39:25,725 --> 00:39:27,645 Only vanilla left, I'm afraid. 674 00:39:27,925 --> 00:39:30,845 - I don't like vanilla. - Sorry, it's all we've got. 675 00:39:31,445 --> 00:39:34,285 Can you see if... if there are any chocolate ones left? 676 00:39:34,845 --> 00:39:35,925 We're all out. 677 00:39:36,405 --> 00:39:39,245 Ju... Yeah, but I know that you've got them. So, can... 678 00:39:39,765 --> 00:39:40,965 Can you just go and ask? 679 00:39:41,045 --> 00:39:43,925 'Cause I... I really don't like vanilla, it's not even a flavor. 680 00:39:44,245 --> 00:39:46,525 Like I said, we haven't got any. 681 00:39:46,605 --> 00:39:49,645 Yeah, and like I said, I don't fucking like vanilla. 682 00:39:49,725 --> 00:39:51,885 So I just want a chocolate one. 683 00:39:52,965 --> 00:39:54,485 We're not a restaurant, Sarah. 684 00:39:55,565 --> 00:39:58,045 Maybe there'll be a chocolate one next time you're here. 685 00:40:09,205 --> 00:40:10,205 Oh. 686 00:40:11,125 --> 00:40:12,245 Hey, Einstein. 687 00:40:15,045 --> 00:40:16,565 Wasn't so bad, was it? 688 00:40:18,285 --> 00:40:19,405 I don't like chocolate. 689 00:40:21,445 --> 00:40:23,005 Everyone likes chocolate. 690 00:40:23,925 --> 00:40:24,925 Not me. 691 00:40:29,845 --> 00:40:31,005 Thank you. 692 00:40:34,045 --> 00:40:35,685 You're not as tough as you look. 693 00:40:36,565 --> 00:40:37,885 It's been a shitty day. 694 00:40:38,565 --> 00:40:39,565 Yeah. 695 00:40:43,005 --> 00:40:45,085 Look, don't... don't worry, love. 696 00:40:47,045 --> 00:40:48,245 I got three kids, 697 00:40:48,325 --> 00:40:52,845 and I feel way more guilty about the ones that I had 698 00:40:52,925 --> 00:40:54,125 than the ones I chose not to. 699 00:40:57,365 --> 00:41:01,685 It's better not being a mum at all than being a bad one. 700 00:41:06,165 --> 00:41:07,845 I bet your kids really love you. 701 00:41:10,485 --> 00:41:11,485 Hm! 702 00:41:15,445 --> 00:41:17,645 Oh, fuck off and let me eat my mousse. 703 00:41:18,325 --> 00:41:19,325 Okay. 704 00:41:33,045 --> 00:41:34,085 Hey, Mum. 705 00:41:37,325 --> 00:41:38,365 Let's get you home. 706 00:41:48,165 --> 00:41:49,165 Hi. 707 00:41:51,565 --> 00:41:52,605 You waited. 708 00:41:53,125 --> 00:41:54,205 Of course. 709 00:41:58,445 --> 00:42:00,325 You may have some vomiting or nausea. 710 00:42:00,405 --> 00:42:02,605 If the vomiting continues for more than 24 hours, 711 00:42:02,685 --> 00:42:04,165 then you should inform the clinic. 712 00:42:04,525 --> 00:42:06,485 Some bleeding is typical, 713 00:42:06,565 --> 00:42:09,765 but if it's very heavy, then you should call us straightaway. 714 00:42:09,845 --> 00:42:10,845 - Okay. - Okay? 715 00:42:12,365 --> 00:42:13,365 Not a word. 716 00:42:17,285 --> 00:42:19,525 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 717 00:42:26,605 --> 00:42:27,885 Do you want a sandwich? 718 00:42:30,885 --> 00:42:32,205 You're so weird, Otis. 719 00:42:33,765 --> 00:42:36,085 You should meet my mum if you think I'm weird. 720 00:42:36,165 --> 00:42:38,965 All she does is talk about sex. She has zero boundaries. 721 00:42:39,725 --> 00:42:42,245 She teaches this workshop called "My Yoni, Myself." 722 00:42:43,365 --> 00:42:44,645 "Yoni" means vagina. 723 00:42:45,765 --> 00:42:48,045 She hates my dad, too. He lives in America. 724 00:42:48,605 --> 00:42:51,925 But yeah, she's constantly asking me inappropriate things, 725 00:42:52,005 --> 00:42:54,165 and she thinks it's totally acceptable. 726 00:42:54,685 --> 00:42:55,885 She's basically mental. 727 00:43:01,605 --> 00:43:02,845 My mum's a drug addict. 728 00:43:05,165 --> 00:43:07,005 She tries not to be, but... she is. 729 00:43:08,805 --> 00:43:10,125 I haven't seen her for a while. 730 00:43:11,925 --> 00:43:16,525 And I have a brother as well. He's the funniest guy I know, but... 731 00:43:18,085 --> 00:43:19,645 he's a bit all over the place. 732 00:43:19,725 --> 00:43:20,725 Not the most reliable. 733 00:43:24,325 --> 00:43:25,885 - I didn't... - Don't say sorry. 734 00:43:26,885 --> 00:43:27,885 Okay. 735 00:43:33,525 --> 00:43:36,645 - Are those flowers for me? - Uh... Yeah. 736 00:43:38,885 --> 00:43:41,245 - Seems a bit inappropriate now. - No. 737 00:43:41,565 --> 00:43:42,685 No, I like 'em. 738 00:43:43,125 --> 00:43:45,325 Nothing says "Happy Abortion" like a bouquet. 739 00:43:59,725 --> 00:44:00,965 This is me. 740 00:44:03,005 --> 00:44:04,965 Do you want me to come in? I can just... 741 00:44:05,045 --> 00:44:06,685 No, it's OK. You can go. 742 00:44:07,645 --> 00:44:09,645 - I'll see you later. - Okay, yeah. 743 00:44:14,845 --> 00:44:16,485 Sorry, I... I'm walking you in. 744 00:44:16,565 --> 00:44:18,725 - I said I'd walk you home, so... - Otis, I'm fine! 745 00:44:18,805 --> 00:44:21,005 No! You might bleed or hemorrhage. 746 00:44:21,085 --> 00:44:23,005 Or you could have a reaction... 747 00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:30,925 Do you want me to come inside with you? 748 00:44:31,005 --> 00:44:33,245 - Just in case... - I'm not inviting you in. 749 00:44:34,565 --> 00:44:36,645 I'll text you if I die. 750 00:44:37,165 --> 00:44:38,485 I'll keep my phone close. 751 00:44:44,965 --> 00:44:46,885 If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you. 752 00:44:49,045 --> 00:44:51,725 I have a hatchet and I know a good place to hide a body, okay? 753 00:45:06,125 --> 00:45:08,485 - I spoke to Coach. - Mm? 754 00:45:08,565 --> 00:45:10,805 We need to focus on the county trials. 755 00:45:11,205 --> 00:45:13,725 You don't want to let an opportunity like this pass you by. 756 00:45:13,805 --> 00:45:15,205 - I know. - Do you? 757 00:45:15,805 --> 00:45:17,701 That's the voice you use when you're not listening. 758 00:45:17,725 --> 00:45:20,765 Mum. It's okay, all right? I know. 759 00:45:21,525 --> 00:45:23,445 You don't wanna live with regret, trust me. 760 00:45:23,525 --> 00:45:26,205 I'm gonna book you in with a dietitian first thing tomorrow morning. 761 00:45:49,445 --> 00:45:51,725 Glenoxi seized her interrogator. 762 00:45:52,325 --> 00:45:55,005 "Enough talk. It's time to fuck." 763 00:45:55,405 --> 00:45:58,525 She grabbed his giant purple penis 764 00:45:58,605 --> 00:46:01,725 and thrust it towards her abdominal sex cavity. 765 00:46:03,045 --> 00:46:04,765 But his phallus grew limp. 766 00:46:05,525 --> 00:46:08,125 "I'm gay," said the interrogator. 767 00:46:09,845 --> 00:46:13,525 Disappointed, Glenoxi left the room. 768 00:46:13,605 --> 00:46:16,765 Her quest for a mate would lead her across the galaxy, 769 00:46:16,845 --> 00:46:21,685 until she found an alien dick to deflower her once and for all. 770 00:46:32,925 --> 00:46:35,485 Okay, ladies, that was fantastic. 771 00:46:36,045 --> 00:46:37,645 Restore the floor. 772 00:46:37,725 --> 00:46:40,965 Right, okay, let's take a break. When we come back, I'll be... 773 00:46:41,045 --> 00:46:42,485 Oh, hi. 774 00:46:42,565 --> 00:46:46,525 Just gettin' a glass of water. Kegel exercises are really thirsty work. 775 00:46:46,965 --> 00:46:49,765 Oh! Your mum told us all about your big news. 776 00:46:50,205 --> 00:46:51,205 Congratulations. 777 00:46:51,645 --> 00:46:52,645 What news? 778 00:46:53,005 --> 00:46:54,525 Your ejaculation. 779 00:46:55,325 --> 00:46:56,605 Well done, you! 780 00:47:19,925 --> 00:47:21,365 How was it? 781 00:47:21,445 --> 00:47:23,725 Tell me everything. Did you feed her sashimi? 782 00:47:23,805 --> 00:47:26,085 - Um... It... It was nothing. - Uh... 783 00:47:26,165 --> 00:47:28,045 She just wanted me to pick something up for her. 784 00:47:28,125 --> 00:47:30,005 - What? - Oh, just a thing. 785 00:47:31,925 --> 00:47:33,245 Hey, I, um... 786 00:47:34,165 --> 00:47:36,285 I auditioned for Swing Band today and I got in. 787 00:47:36,365 --> 00:47:37,365 - You got in? - Mm-hm. 788 00:47:37,405 --> 00:47:38,485 Nice one. 789 00:47:38,565 --> 00:47:40,605 - Yeah, it's pretty great. - I told you! 790 00:47:40,685 --> 00:47:41,685 It's pretty great. 791 00:47:41,686 --> 00:47:43,605 Then this girl offered me sex, which was weird. 792 00:47:43,685 --> 00:47:45,261 She might be crazy. 793 00:47:45,285 --> 00:47:46,885 I think you'd like her. 794 00:47:48,325 --> 00:47:49,365 Who's that? 795 00:47:49,525 --> 00:47:50,525 Um... 796 00:47:51,285 --> 00:47:52,285 No one. 797 00:47:53,165 --> 00:47:54,565 - You ready? - Yeah. 798 00:47:54,645 --> 00:47:56,045 All right. You're gonna get bombed. 799 00:47:56,125 --> 00:47:58,685 Oh, please. You only won last time because you blue-shelled me. 800 00:47:58,765 --> 00:47:59,765 - Yeah. - So don't try it. 801 00:47:59,845 --> 00:48:01,605 - It's true. - Don't try... Exactly. 802 00:49:57,766 --> 00:50:02,766 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 57936

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