Original subtitles

I KNOW YOU'RE SCARED.

BUT IT'S JUST 50 DAYS.

IT'S THE BEST THING FOR YOU.

I'M AMELIA SHEPHERD.

I'M CHECKING IN.

AMELIA'S MOM,

SHE'S AS GOOD AS IT GETS.

SHE IS AS GOOD AS A MOTHER GETS.

AND IT'S HARD TO FATHOM THAT YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING RIGHT,

AND YOU STILL CAN'T CONTROL WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR KID.

THEY COULD STILL END UP IN STAGGERING AMOUNT OF PAIN,

IN REHAB, FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIFE.

IT'S JUST HARD TO WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND

WHEN YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE PREGNANT.

YOUR RECOVERY EXPERIENCE...

IS OUR TOP PRIORITY.

WE PROVIDE A POSITIVE AND A NURTURING ENVIRONMENT

AS YOU EMBARK ON YOUR ADDICTION TREATMENT.

YOU'LL START IN THE DETOX WING, AND THEN WE'LL MOVE YOU

TO A REGULAR ROOM,

AND YOU'LL BE ASSIGNED A THERAPIST

SEPARATE FROM GROUP THERAPY, WHICH MEANS EVERY AFTERNOON.

AMELIA?

AMELIA.

AMELIA, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

IT'S GONNA GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER.

BUT I SWEAR, IT GETS BETTER.

OKAY?

AND IF YOU'RE HIDING ANY OTHER DRUGS,

NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO HAND THEM OVER.

THEY'RE GONNA FIND THEM ANYWAY WHEN YOU HIT THE DETOX BED.

THE MAN I LOVE DIED.

HE DIED.

OKAY, EAT.

MORNING.

HE SAID "PANCAKE."

PANCAKE? REALLY?

YEAH.

WELL, IT ACTUALLY SOUNDED MORE LIKE "PA-KAY,"

BUT HE WAS DEFINITELY GOING FOR PANCAKE.

PANCAKE.

GOOD JOB, PAL.

YEAH.

YOU HEADING TO--

YEAH.

WE TALK ABOUT LUCAS.

WE'RE GOOD WITH LUCAS.

WE'RE WARM WITH LUCAS.

WE'RE...

WE'RE US WITH LUCAS.

WHAT ABOUT YOU AND SAM?

OH, WE'RE DOING GREAT.

YEAH, AS LONG AS WE DON'T TALK ABOUT PREGNANCY

OR ANYTHING BABY RELATED.

ALL RIGHT, WILL YOU MAKE SURE AND TELL ME AS SOON AS YOU KNOW

IF YOU'RE PREGNANT? I WILL.

OKAY, AND, YOU KNOW,

IF YOU EVER WANT SOMEONE TO COMPLAIN TO,

I'M JUST--I'M DOWN THE HALL.

THANK YOU.

YAY!

DOES THIS HURT?

OW!

OKAY. SORRY. I KNOW THIS PART'S NO FUN.

HOW ABOUT HERE?

WHEN DID THE STOMACH PAIN START?

JUST AFTER DINNER.

A FEW HOURS LATER, THE NIGHT ATTENDANT REPORTED

HE DEVELOPED A FEVER.

ALL RIGHT, TOBY.

YOU'RE ALL DONE. LET'S GET YOU DRESSED.

HERE YOU GO.

OKAY, I'M GONNA STEP OUTSIDE,

TALK TO MR. DAVIES FOR A SECOND.

WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME, JIM?

I MEAN, THE GROUP HOME'S ONLY A FEW MILES FROM MY HOUSE.

I COULD'VE JUST COME RIGHT OVER.

COME ON, COOPER.

I HAVE 43 OTHER KIDS JUST LIKE TOBY.

IF I CALLED A DOCTOR EVERY TIME ONE OF 'EM SNEEZED...

LOOK...

I WISH I COULD DO MORE.

I'VE PLACED HIM IN NINE DIFFERENT FOSTER HOMES

IN THOSE FOUR YEARS.

NOBODY WANTS A SICK KID.

LITTLE GUY DESERVES BETTER.

SO HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH THE LUPUS FOUR YEARS AGO,

AND THAT COULD EXPLAIN

THE ABDOMINAL PAIN AND THE FEVER,

BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO SOME MORE TESTS JUST TO MAKE SURE.

DR. FREEDMAN, I DON'T FEEL TOO GOOD.

GIVE ME THOSE TISSUES. COME HERE.

HAVE A SEAT. YOU HAVE A BLOODY NOSE, TOBY.

LEAN FORWARD.

LEAN FORWARD. HERE.

OKAY, JUST HOLD THAT. THIS WILL STOP IT.

LET ME SEE.

OH. OKAY, OKAY. YOU'RE OKAY.

YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.

JUST SAY IT.

EITHER WAY, JUST SAY IT.

YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT.

I'M...

OKAY.

LOOK, I, UH, I KNOW YOU'RE A DOCTOR,

BUT I'M--I'M STILL GOING TO GIVE YOU THE SPEECH,

BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW THIS STUFF INTELLECTUALLY,

YOU NEED TO PROCESS IT EMOTIONALLY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE ME THE SPEECH.

I DO. SO HERE IT GOES.

SOMETHING LIKE 6% OF WOMEN YOUR AGE

GET PREGNANT USING I.V.F., OKAY?

IT'S A--IT'S A SMALL NUMBER.

BUT BETWEEN YOUR COMMITMENT AND MY EXPERIENCE,

WE CAN-- WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

ALL RIGHT? THERE ARE A NUMBER OF OTHER OPTIONS.

SO WHEN YOU DECIDE THAT YOU'RE READY TO DO THIS AGAIN,

WE'LL GET INTO IT.

IT'S NOT OVER, ADDISON,

UNLESS YOU WANT IT TO BE.

ALL RIGHT?

I WANT MY MOM.

I NEED SOMETHING TO HELP. OH, MY GOD. I WANT MY MOMMY.

HEY.

OW.

HEY. HEY, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

IT HURTS.

YEAH, I KNOW.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

HAILEY.

I'M AMELIA.

I WANT MY MOM.

I KNOW. I KNOW. I WANT MY MOM, TOO.

IT HURTS. AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH! THEY'RE ARE BUGS ON ME!

OH, MY GOD. THEY'RE ALL OVER ME. LISTEN TO ME, HAILEY. THERE'S NO BUGS.

THERE'S NO BUGS ON YOU.

HAILEY. OH, MY GOD.

HAILEY, LISTEN, I'M A DOCTOR

AND I PROMISE YOU, THERE'S NO BUGS ON YOU.

THERE ARE. YOU'RE JUST WITHDRAWING FROM THE DRUGS.

OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.

YOUR NERVES ARE FIRING ON THEIR OWN,

AND IT FEELS LIKE ITCHY BUGS, BUT IT'S NOT.

IT'S JUST A HALLUCINATION.

THERE'S NO BUGS. IT'S NOT REAL. OKAY?

THE PAIN IS GONNA STOP.

THERE'S NO BUGS?

NO. LOOK AT ME, HAILEY.

DO YOU SEE ANY BUGS ON ME?

BECAUSE MY SKIN IS CRAWLING, TOO.

I WANT TO RIP MY SKIN OFF, IT IS CRAWLING SO BAD,

BUT DO YOU SEE ANY BUGS ON ME?

NO. OKAY.

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU A DEAL.

IF I SEE ANY BUGS ON YOU, I'M GONNA CALL A NURSE.

AND IF YOU SEE THEM ON ME, YOU DO THE SAME.

BUT IF WE DON'T SEE ANY, IT IS JUST OUR NERVES...

HEALING FROM ALL THE CRAP WE SHOT INTO THEM, OKAY?

AND THEY NEED--THEY NEED TO HEAL, JUST LIKE US.

OKAY?

OKAY.

AH.

OH.

CAN I SIT?

THAT DEPENDS.

DID YOU BRING ME ONE OF THOSE?

THINKING ABOUT RYAN AGAIN?

ALL THE TIME.

CAN'T STOP.

DON'T WANT TO.

YEAH.

YEAH, I HAD A BOYFRIEND WHO DIED.

AND A BEST FRIEND, TOO.

THE BEST FRIEND WAS WORSE.

YOU'RE 18.

YEAH. WHY DO YOU THINK MY PARENTS SENT ME HERE?

I MISS MY BEST FRIEND EVERY DAY.

SHE WAS...

STUPID.

WE-- WE WERE STUPID TOGETHER.

THE BOYFRIEND...

HE WAS A BAD INFLUENCE.

WAS RYAN A BAD INFLUENCE?

NO. HE WAS...

NO, RYAN WAS...

I THINK I WAS THE BAD INFLUENCE.

AMELIA.

YOU HAVE A VISITOR AT RECEPTION.

DR. SHELDON WALLACE.

COULD YOU TELL HIM THAT I'M BUSY?

OF COURSE.

THANKS.

WHO'S SHELDON?

HE'S A FRIEND.

THEN WHY WON'T YOU LET HIM IN?

I SAID SOME THINGS.

I, UH...

I HURT SOME PEOPLE.

BUT THEY STILL COME TO VISIT YOU.

NO ONE COMES TO VISIT ME.

YOU SHOULD LET YOUR FRIENDS IN.

YOU'RE MY FRIEND.

I'M 18.

SO?

HEY, IS THAT ONE OF THOSE H.D... THINGIES?

IF BY "THINGIE," YOU MEAN SUPERCOOL CAMERA, THEN YES.

I'M GONNA SHOOT MASON'S SCHOOL PLAY.

AWW. WHICH ISN'T FOR THREE WEEKS.

HOPEFULLY SPIELBERG HERE CAN GET THE CAMERA WORKING BY THEN.

I WILL FIGURE IT OUT.

YOU'RE JUST GOING WITH THE BASIC EQUIPMENT?

YOU'RE NOT BRINGING A TRIPOD OR A BOOM MIC?

OH.

BOOM MIC.

OH, COOPER.

HOLD ON.

OH, COOPER. COOPER, I'M JUST KIDDING. OH.

YOU KNOW, A LOT OF WOMEN DON'T GET PREGNANT THE FIRST TIME.

I KNOW. YOU HAVE TOLD ME MANY TIMES.

AND I'M GONNA KEEP TELLING YOU THAT

UNTIL YOU LOOK A LITTLE LESS--

LESS WHAT?

MISERABLE? DESPERATE?

I WAS GONNA SAY WISTFUL.

OH.

GOD.

YEAH, I AM. I AM... WISTFUL.

NO NEED FOR THAT.

EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TRY AGAIN YOURSELF,

THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO MAKE A FAMILY.

HELL, MAYBE YOU'LL GET LUCKY,

FIND OUT SAM KNOCKED SOMEONE UP TEN YEARS AGO.

I'M GETTING USED TO THE LITTLE RUG RAT.

MM.

YOU SOUND SURPRISED.

WELL, IT WASN'T EXACTLY HOW I PLANNED IT.

WELL, WHEN IS LIFE EVER?

THE POINT IS,

YOU HAVE CHOICES.

NOT ALL OF US CAN SAY THAT.

SO YOU THINK YOU'LL DO IT?

I MEAN, TRY AGAIN?

I DON'T KNOW.

YEAH. I THINK I AM--

I AM.

YOU KNOW, SAM...

HAD THIS LOOK OF RELIEF

WHEN IT DIDN'T TAKE THE FIRST TIME.

PETE LOOKS RELIEVED EVERY TIME I LEAVE THE HOUSE.

DOESN'T STOP ME FROM COMING HOME.

WOW.

THAT IS DARK.

ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW DARK THAT SOUNDS?

FOR SOME REASON, I'M VAGUELY COMFORTABLE WITH THE DARK.

OKAY.

I'LL HOLD YOUR HAND.

IF YOU WANT TO DO IT, AND SAM DOESN'T WANT TO,

I WILL.

THANK YOU.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

LIMITED LOSS OF WALL FUNCTION. CARDIAC OUTPUT IS GREAT.

I'M LIKING WHAT I'M SEEING, PETE.

YOU SOUND SURPRISED.

WELL, YOUR B.P.'s NORMAL,

NO DYSRHYTHMIAS,

YOUR COGNITIVE SKILLS POST BYPASS--COMPLETELY INTACT.

YOU ARE BACK, PETE.

BACK TO COUNTING THE TEN YEARS I HAVE LEFT. GREAT.

OH, NO, NO. THAT'S NOT WHERE YOU'RE AT.

I MEAN, THERE ARE TONS OF BYPASS PATIENTS THAT LIVE 20,

25 YEARS PAST SURGERY.

AND WITH THESE NUMBERS, I DON'T SEE WHY YOU CAN'T EITHER.

SAVE IT, SAM. I'M A DOCTOR. I'VE READ THE LITERATURE.

OKAY, BUT AS A CARDIOLOGIST, I'M TELLING YOU,

DON'T GO PICKING OUT HEADSTONES.

ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT A SECOND CHANCE TO LIVE A LONG LIFE.

LIVE IT. ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE LUCKY.

THANKS.

ALL RIGHT.

I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.

HOW BAD IS IT?

HE'S A LOT WORSE OFF THAN LAST WEEK.

HIS TEMPERATURE KEEPS SPIKING,

AND HE'S SHOWING SIGNS OF LIVER FAILURE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

UM...

I DID A BLOOD COUNT, I DID A LIVER BIOPSY,

AND, UM... THE LUPUS HAS TRIGGERED

A DISEASE CALLED HEMOPHAGOCYTIC LYMPHOHISTIOCYTOSIS.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

IT MEANS THAT HIS IMMUNE CELLS ARE ATTACKING HIS OWN BODY.

IT'S VERY AGGRESSIVE. HE'S GONNA NEED A ROUND OF CHEMO,

HE'S GONNA NEED A STEM CELL TRANSPLANT,

HE'S GONNA HAVE TO STAY IN THE HOSPITAL FOR SEVERAL WEEKS.

A STEM CELL TRANSPLANT? YEAH.

IT'S VERY SERIOUS, AND HE COULD DIE.

WE NEED TO FIND A STEM CELL MATCH AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

THIS--THIS IS, UH...

WELL, OKAY, IF IT'S AN INSURANCE QUESTION,

I'VE ALREADY CONTACTED MEDICAID.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, JIM,

YOU NEED TO FIND THIS KID A FOSTER FAMILY.

HE CAN'T GO THROUGH THIS ALONE.

WE'VE GONE OVER THIS, COOPER.

LOOK, I-I KNOW. OKAY, HE NEEDS SOMEBODY.

I'M DOING EVERYTHING I CAN, OKAY?

I'LL BE HERE WHENEVER I CAN.

I NEED YOU TO SIGN SOME CONSENT FORMS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UH... I'M JUST SPYING ON MY WOMAN

AND YOUR WIFE.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

WELL, IF I HAD TO GUESS, I WOULD SAY THAT ADDISON

IS TALKING ABOUT DOING ANOTHER ROUND OF I.V.F.

WHILE VIOLET IS...

I'M SORRY, MAN,

BUT YOU ARE SCREWED.

WHAT? WHY?

VIOLET DOESN'T DO ANYTHING HALFWAY GENERALLY.

AND BOTH OF US ARE LOOKING FOR ANYTHING TO DISTRACT US

FROM THE VAST MORASS OF EMPTINESS

OUR MARRIAGE HAS BECOME, SO...

MY MAN...

DO YOU KNOW HOW DARK YOU SOUND RIGHT NOW?

LOOK, MY POINT IS, FILLING ADDISON'S UTERUS

IS GONNA BECOME LIKE AN EXTREME SPORT WITH VIOLET.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

WELL, EVERYTHING YOU SAID MAKES TOTAL SENSE.

SO YOU THINK--

YES. I THINK YOU SOUND FOCUSED AND POSITIVE AND ENERGIZED,

AND THAT MEANS, FOR YOU, YOU'RE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION.

OKAY.

DO YOU WANT ME TO GO WITH YOU?

NO, NO, I-I'LL BE OKAY. THANK YOU...

OKAY.

FOR OFFERING.

HEY. HEY.

SO YOU'RE, UH--

ON MY WAY TO SEE JAKE. RIGHT.

OKAY.

OKAY.

L-ARGININE INCREASES BLOOD FLOW TO THE UTERUS,

FOLIC ACID, WHICH IS OBVIOUS,

PABA, WHICH IS A B-COMPLEX VITAMIN--

I-I-I KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

I'M NO STRANGER TO VITAMIN THERAPIES.

BUT YOU DON'T THINK, IN CONJUNCTION WITH METFORMIN--

WE USE METFORMIN FOR POLYCYSTIC OVARY SYNDROME.

YES, BUT IT CAN ALSO HELP WITH INSULIN RESISTANCE.

WHICH THERE'S NO EVIDENCE YOU HAVE.

OKAY, BUT VITAMIN THERAPY,

PLUS METFORMIN,

PLUS H.G.H. SHOTS--

EQUALS CRAZY.

LOOK, ADDISON, YOU DON'T NEED TO BE DOING ALL OF THIS, ALL RIGHT?

AT LEAST NOT YET.

YOU HAVE--YOU HAVE TWO FROZEN EMBRYOS LEFT.

NO, I WANT FRESH EGGS, FRESH SPERM.

I'M TAKING ONE LAST SHOT AT THIS, JAKE,

AND I WANT THE BEST POSSIBLE ODDS.

YOU WANT THE BEST POSSIBLE ODDS?

YES!

RELAX.

I AM RELAXED!

OH.

AH! OKAY. SORRY.

SORRY.

OW! DONE.

WHY DOES THIS PART NEVER GET EASIER?

IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP OR--

WE'RE AT THE END OF THE SECOND WEEK, SAM.

YOU WANT TO HELP NOW?

NO, I KNOW THAT YOU

AND ADDISON ARE DOING THIS TOGETHER.

WELL, 'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO, RIGHT?

NO. I MEAN, YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE

OR HEAR OR TALK ABOUT

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN HER LIFE RIGHT NOW-- VIOLET.

WHY ARE YOU MAD AT ME?

BECAUSE I THINK WHEN YOU'RE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP,

PUTTING YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND IS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULL--

VIOLET.

SAM WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE.

RIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

I WAS PROJECTING MY OWN MARRIAGE ON TO YOUR LOVE LIFE.

SO, UH, YOU AND PETE...

WE SUCK. WE JUST-- WE FLAT-OUT SUCK.

AND WHEN I THINK ABOUT HOW WE GOT HERE, I WISH...

WELL, I MEAN, I WISH A LOT OF THINGS,

BUT MOSTLY I WISH

THAT WE HADN'T LET IT GET TO THIS PLACE,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, Y--

YOU'RE ANGRY AND THEN YOU'RE RESENTFUL,

AND THEN THINGS START TO CHANGE BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU,

AND THEN BEFORE YOU REALIZE IT, YOU ARE SO FAR

FROM THE COUPLE THAT YOU USED TO BE,

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO GET BACK THERE, OR IF YOU CAN.

AND THAT'S JUST...

YEAH, YOU DON'T WANT THAT.

VIOLET, HAVE YOU AND PETE

EVER TRIED GOING TO COUPLES THERAPY?

UH, NO, NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD REQUIRE

ACTUALLY SPEAKING TO ONE ANOTHER.

I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE.

I LIKE IT HERE.

WHY CAN'T MY PARENTS BE RICH DOCTORS

SO I CAN STAY HERE LONGER?

OR WHY CAN'T I HAVE BETTER INSURANCE?

IT'S SAFE HERE.

BUT IT'S NOT REAL.

I MEAN, STAYING SOBER HERE

IS LIKE...

FEELING HAPPY AT DISNEYLAND.

IT'S EASY.

YOU GOTTA GO OUT THERE TO SEE WHAT YOU REALLY GOT HERE.

YOU KNOW, FOR A GIRL WITH ALL THE ANSWERS,

YOU'RE AWFULLY QUIET ABOUT YOUR OWN CRAP.

WOW.

OKAY.

YOU WANT TO BE MAD? FINE. BE MAD.

I'M NOT MAD.

I'M JUST SAYING, YOU DO AN AWFUL LOT OF PREACHING

AND NOT MUCH SHARING.

YOU KNOW, JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE A DOCTOR

DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE NOT ONE OF US.

OKAY.

WHATEVER.

I THINK HAILEY HAS A POINT, AMELIA.

YOU HAVEN'T BEEN OPENING UP MUCH.

I OPEN UP.

NOT TO US.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT OUR STUFF.

WOW. WHAT IS THIS, A GROUP PILE ON?

YOU DIDN'T KILL RYAN.

EXCUSE ME?

YOU DIDN'T KILL HIM.

YOU MIGHT HAVE WROTE THE PRESCRIPTIONS,

BUT HE TOOK THE DRUGS HIMSELF.

SHUT UP, HAILEY.

AND THAT GUILT? THAT'S GONNA KILL YOU.

THAT'S WHAT KILLED MY BEST FRIEND. IT WAS GUILT.

BECAUSE HER MOM WAS SO FREAKED, SHE HAD A BREAKDOWN

AND HER DAD LEFT... HAILEY.

SO SHE WAS... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

YOU'RE A CHILD, AND YOU NEED TO SHUT UP.

AMELIA--

YOU DIDN'T KILL HIM.

OKAY? HE TOOK THE DRUGS HIMSELF.

YOU DIDN'T MAKE HIM TAKE THEM. HE TOOK THEM HIMSELF.

YOU GOTTA GET THAT.

BEFORE I LEAVE HERE, YOU HAVE TO GET THAT,

'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T, YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT.

AND I NEED YOU TO MAKE IT.

I KNOW YOU LOVED HIM.

AND I KNOW HE LOVED YOU.

BUT HE TOOK THE DRUGS HIMSELF.

OKAY.

NOW I CAN LEAVE.

HEY.

LUCAS?

HE'S NAPPING.

OH.

WELL, I'M GONNA... GO JUMP IN THE SHOWER.

YEP.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING? STOP."

KEEP FLYING. KEEP FLYING.

THAT'S... YOU'RE A NATURAL.

OKAY, YOU TWO, ENOUGH REHEARSING FOR TODAY.

YOU HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO.

WHAT IF I GET NERVOUS AND FORGET MY LINE TO THE SEAGULLS?

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LOOK AT ME,

AND IT'LL FEEL JUST LIKE IT DOES RIGHT NOW,

JUST THE TWO OF US HERE TOGETHER.

WHAT IF I CAN'T FIND YOU IN THE AUDIENCE?

YOU'LL BE ABLE TO FIND ME,

BECAUSE I WILL BE SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW.

DON'T USE DRUGS.

LET YOUR FRIENDS IN.

I WANT A BABY AND SAM DOESN'T. IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

NOW WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT, WE CAN TALK AROUND IT,

WE CAN SAY THINGS LIKE,

"WE'LL DEAL WITH IT WHEN THE TIME COMES,"

BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW WE GET AROUND THE SIMPLE FACT

THAT I'M IN, AND SAM'S OUT.

WELL, YOU TOOK THE FIRST STEP BY BRINGING HIM HERE.

SAM, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS?

UH, WELL...

HONESTLY, I DON'T THINK THIS IS USEFUL...

FOR ME, AT LEAST.

I DON'T WANT A BABY, AND I DON'T KNOW,

I'VE--I'VE NEVER BEEN ANYTHING BUT HONEST ABOUT THAT.

SO--

SO WHAT?

SO THIS ISN'T MY PROBLEM.

IT'S--NO, MY PROBLEM IS THAT I FEEL LIKE

YOU WANT TO HAVE A BABY SO BADLY

THAT YOU'RE WILLING TO RISK ANYTHING FOR IT--

YOUR HEALTH, UH, YOUR SANITY,

MY SANITY-- OKAY, IF IT HAD BEEN...

LET--LET ME--

EASIER TO-- IF IT HAD BEEN EASIER,

IF I HAD GOTTEN PREGNANT IMMEDIATELY,

WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN BETTER?

IF...

NO, BUT-- RIGHT.

WAIT. NO. LISTEN TO ME.

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU. I SUPPORT YOU. I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.

I WANT US TO HAVE A LIFE TOGETHER.

THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS GIVE UP BECAUSE OF A PROBLEM

THAT WE DON'T EVEN HAVE YET.

YEAH, BUT WE ARE GOING TO HAVE IT, SAM, SOON.

THERE IS GOING TO BE A BABY,

AND EVEN THOUGH I'M THE ONE DOING ALL THE FEEDING

AND THE WAKING UP

AND EVERYTHING ELSE THERE IS TO DO AT THE BEGINNING,

IT DOESN'T END THERE. IT STARTS THERE.

YOU KNOW THAT. YOU'RE A PARENT. I--

YOU HAVE TO WANT TO DO IT.

I DO, MORE THAN ANYTHING. YOU DON'T.

SO I-I DON'T KNOW HOW IT COULD WORK.

I DON'T KNOW HOW WE COULD WORK.

WELL, I WANT YOU.

SO LONG AS I DON'T HAVE A BABY.

WELL, I WANT YOU, ADDISON.

THAT'S WHAT I WANT.

I'M GLAD YOU WERE WILLING TO SEE ME.

WHY DON'T YOU HATE ME?

AFTER THE THINGS I SAID, YOU SHOULD HATE ME.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HATE YOU.

I-I...

I COULDN'T IF I TRIED, SO...

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN, I BUILT THIS LIFE

WITH ALL OF YOU, WITH THE PRACTICE,

AND THEN I BURNED IT DOWN.

SO WHEN I HAVE TO LEAVE THIS PLACE, I...

I DON'T KNOW WHERE I GO FROM HERE.

I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO TRY TO MAKE AMENDS,

BUT I'M NOT THERE. I'M NOT READY.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FACE EVERYONE.

AND, I MEAN, HONESTLY, SHELDON, I CAN BARELY EVEN LOOK AT YOU.

THERE'S A SIGN IN BACK OF YOU.

THAT SEEMS AS GOOD AN ANSWER

AS ANY I COULD COME UP WITH.

HEY, CHARLOTTE.

DO YOU HAVE PATIENTS THIS AFTERNOON?

NO. WHY?

I NEED YOU TO GO TO MASON'S SCHOOL

AND SAVE ME A SEAT AT HIS PLAY

IN--IN THE FRONT ROW.

SORRY, COOP. CAN'T DO IT.

WELL, YOU HAVE TO. I JUST GOT PAGED TO THE HOSPITAL.

COOP, I ATE PIZZA WITH MASON. I PLAYED VIDEO GAMES WITH HIM.

I EVEN HELPED THE KID WITH HIS LONG DIVISION HOMEWORK,

BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW

OF "JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH"

WITH A CHILD THAT'S NOT EVEN MINE.

I WILL MEET YOU THERE. I PROMISE.

WHY CAN'T ERICA SAVE YOU A SEAT?

BECAUSE SHE'S WORKING BACKSTAGE WITH THE KIDS

ON THE COSTUMES. I'M BEGGING YOU.

MY SON. FIRST PLAY EVER.

FINE.

BUT YOU OWE ME.

BIG-TIME.

YEAH.

HEY.

YOU LOOK LIKE 10 MILES OF BAD ROAD.

CHARLOTTE.

YOU DO LOOK A LITTLE PEAKED.

YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE. I JUST SKIPPED BREAKFAST.

HI. DID YOU SEE AMELIA? HOW'S SHE DOING?

SHE'S MAKING SOME REAL PROGRESS.

THAT'S GOOD NEWS. IT IS,

ESPECIALLY SINCE SOME PEOPLE DON'T RESPOND WELL TO THERAPY.

WELL, I HOPE ALL OF YOU DO, BECAUSE EVENTUALLY,

SHE'S GONNA NEED US TO JOIN HER FOR A GROUP THERAPY SESSION.

SHE NEEDS TO MAKE AMENDS AND...

ADDISON! ADDISON!

OH, MY GOD. ADDISON, WHAT'S GOING ON?

ALL RIGHT. DON'T MOVE. GET JAKE, SHELDON.

YEAH, YEAH. I'LL... GET JAKE.

NO, I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I NEED TO SEDATE HIM BEFORE WE CAN

PUT IN THE CENTRAL LINE FOR THE STEM CELL INFUSION.

TOBY HATES NEEDLES.

TOBY, DID DR. BERMAN EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT SHE WAS DOING?

YES, BUT I'M SCARED

IF SHE PUTS ME TO SLEEP, I'LL NEVER WAKE UP.

I-I HAD THE SAME FEELING WHEN I HAD MY APPENDIX TAKEN OUT.

OKAY? I WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE.

MAN, I WAS-- I DON'T WANT TO DIE.

HEY, WHO SAID YOU WERE GONNA DIE?

YOU DID.

I HEARD YOU TELL JIM.

NO, I DID--

TOBY, I'M SORRY YOU HEARD THAT,

BUT YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE.

JIM WAS ASKING ME ABOUT SOME RISKS AND--AND...

YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE.

WILL YOU STAY WITH ME?

WELL, I-I COULD. I KNOW, UH, JIM WANTS TO STAY.

HE HAS A MILLION OTHER KIDS TO TAKE CARE OF.

UM...

MAYBE WE'LL BOTH STAY?

ARE WE READY TO DO THIS NOW?

YEAH. OKAY? WE'RE READY?

YEAH, WE'RE READY.

SAM, WHAT HAPPENED? I HEARD ADDISON COLLAPSED.

I DON'T KNOW. IT'S SOME KIND OF A SIDE EFFECT WITH THE HORMONES.

YOU DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE IN THERE?

NO. THERE'S NO ROOM FOR ME IN THERE.

SHE DOESN'T WANT ME IN THERE.

VIOLET'S... IN THERE WITH HER.

THIS IS LIKE HER-- HER PROJECT.

IS SHE PLANNING ON RAISING THE BABY WITH ADDISON, TOO?

THAT'D MAKE MY LIFE A LOT EASIER. I'LL JUST TAKE LUCAS...

THAT'S NOT FUNNY, MAN.

DARK HUMOR'S ALL I GOT.

NO, IT'S NOT.

YOU GOT A KID THAT YOU LOVE,

YOU GOT A WIFE THAT YOU LOVE.

YOU TOLD ME I HAD ANOTHER 25 YEARS,

AND THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT WAS,

I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO DANCE AT MY SON'S WEDDING.

IT MADE ME HAPPY.

AND THEN I THOUGHT...

THAT MEANS I HAVE ANOTHER 25 YEARS WITH VIOLET.

I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT THAT.

I'M SORRY, MAN.

I WON'T LEAVE.

I DON'T HAVE IT IN ME TO LEAVE.

HEY.

HEY. HEY, BUDDY.

HOW'D IT GO?

HE WAS TERRIFIC. MISSED HIS DAD, THOUGH.

WE ALL DID.

MASON, I AM... REALLY, REALLY SORRY.

YOU PROMISED YOU'D BE THERE...

IN THE FRONT ROW.

I KNOW. SOMETHING HAPPENED AT WORK--

I FORGOT MY LINE TO THE SEAGULL

'CAUSE I COULDN'T FIND YOUR FACE.

OH, HONEY, YOU COVERED SO WELL, NOBODY EVEN NOTICED.

EVERYONE NOTICED. THEY ALL LAUGHED AT ME.

OH.

OH, BUDDY.

SHOULD WE GO GET SOME PIZZA?

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, COOPER.

OH. IT'S OKAY.

I'M SORRY.

SO MY ABDOMEN FILLED WITH FLUID...

SECONDARY TO THE FERTILITY TREATMENT?

IT'S RARE, BUT IT-- IT DOES HAPPEN.

YOU CAN STILL IMPLANT, THOUGH, RIGHT?

WELL, I NEED TO ASPIRATE THE FLUID.

YOU NEED TO REST FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS,

BUT THEN... IF YOU'RE READY TO GO AGAIN--

I WILL BE.

YOU HAVEN'T GONE IN YET?

OH, NO. SHE'S STILL TALKING TO JAKE.

HE SAYS, UH, SHE'S GONNA BE FINE

AND THAT IT WAS A COMPLICATION.

WELL, COMPLICATIONS HAPPEN.

YEAH. YEAH.

SO YOU CAN, UH,

YOU CAN TALK TO HER NOW.

I'LL LET HER GET HER REST. SHE KNOWS I'M HERE.

SAM--

SHE KNOWS I'M HERE.

ADDICTION IMPACTS ENTIRE FAMILIES.

STRONG FAMILIES ARE ESSENTIAL COMPONENTS

OF SUCCESSFUL RECOVERY PLANS.

IN THIS CASE...

AMELIA HAS NAMED ALL OF YOU

AS HER FAMILY.

I DON'T KNOW...

HOW TO APOLOGIZE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW.

I WANT TO TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID.

I KNOW I CAN'T.

I WAS SICK AND I WAS SCARED

AND I DIDN'T MEAN...

I WANTED TO HURT YOU.

I WAS TRYING TO HURT YOU.

AND I THINK I SUCCEEDED.

AND IF I COULD CHANGE THAT,

IF I COULD GO BACK AND UNSAY--

IF I COULD GO BACK AND UNDO...

THE DRUGS, UM,

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT ALCOHOL AND DRUGS,

UH, BRING OUT THE TRUTH.

AND MAYBE THAT'S THE CASE WITH NORMAL PEOPLE.

I DON'T KNOW.

I WON'T EVER KNOW.

BUT I KNOW THAT WITH ME...

THE DRUGS BRING OUT LIES.

THEY BRING OUT HATE

AND THEY BRING OUR CRUELTY AND VICIOUSNESS,

AND THOSE THINGS ARE NOT ME.

THEY'RE NOT THE REAL ME.

THE REAL ME IS THE PERSON THAT YOU KNEW BEFORE THE DRUGS.

THE REAL ME IS THE PERSON THAT IS SITTING HERE NOW.

AND I HOPE...

THAT YOU BELIEVE ME...

WHEN I SAY HOW SORRY I AM.

BUT EVEN IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,

I HAVE TO SAY IT ANYWAY, BECAUSE...

I WANT TO LIVE.

THE MAN I LOVE DIED, AND I THINK THAT HE WOULD BE...

I THINK THAT HE WOULD BE SO PISSED AT ME IF I DIED, TOO,

SO I'M SAYING I'M SORRY

AND... I'M SAYING THAT I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME.

I HOPE I CAN FORGIVE MYSELF.

I CAN'T TAKE IT BACK,

BUT I'M GONNA TRY TO MOVE FORWARD

AND I'M GOING TO TRY TO DO BETTER.

I'M GONNA TRY TO NEVER HURT ANY OF YOU EVER AGAIN.

HEY.

YOUR MOM SAID YOU WERE DOING YOUR HOMEWORK.

YOU NEED ANY HELP?

I CAN DO IT MYSELF.

ALL RIGHT.

UH, MAYBE WHEN YOU'RE DONE, WE CAN GO TO THE BATTING CAGES,

TAKE SOME SWINGS?

THIS MIGHT TAKE A WHILE.

MASON.

I KNOW YOU'RE MAD AT ME BECAUSE I MISSED THE PLAY.

AND I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU THAT I'M NEVER GONNA MISS

ANOTHER SCHOOL PLAY OR A SOCCER GAME, BUT...

I'M A DOCTOR FOR KIDS, YOU KNOW, LIKE YOU.

AND SOMETIMES, THOSE KIDS NEED ME

WHEN THEY'RE REALLY SICK.

MORE THAN ME?

SOMETIMES.

BUT...

LOOK...

I KNOW YOU MUST HAVE BEEN SCARED

UP THERE ON THAT STAGE,

BUT I KNEW YOU WERE SAFE.

I KNEW YOU WERE OKAY.

BUT I WASN'T SO SURE ABOUT TOBY.

HE NEEDED A-A PROCEDURE TO SAVE HIS LIFE,

AND UNLIKE YOU, WHO'S GOT YOUR MOM AND ME AND YOUR FRIENDS,

HE DOESN'T HAVE ANYBODY.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL LET YOU DO YOUR WORK.

I LOVE YOU.

PETE AND I,

IT'S JUST, WE...

WE JUST COEXIST.

AND INTELLECTUALLY, I GET IT.

THERE ARE STAGES TO PETE'S RECOVERY

THAT--THAT MIRROR THE STAGES OF GRIEF,

AND THAT CAN BE VERY HARD FOR A COUPLE TO GET THROUGH.

I HAVE WALKED MANY PATIENTS THROUGH THIS EXACT SAME THING,

AND I'VE SEEN IT SHRED COUPLES, SHRED FAMILIES.

BUT?

BUT I'VE ALSO SEEN IT GO THE OTHER WAY.

I-I'VE SEEN GRIEF BRING FAMILIES TOGETHER.

THAT'S THE STAGE THAT I'M WAITING FOR...

THE STAGE WHERE WE SAY, "OH, MY GOD THAT WAS HARD,

BUT--BUT WE'RE BETTER OFF FOR IT," YOU KNOW?

OR WE LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH MORE BECAUSE WE STUCK.

THAT'S WHAT I'M WAITING FOR.

BUT I DON'T SEE ANY SIGN THAT

THAT'S WHAT HE'S HOPING FOR OR WORKING TOWARD.

IT'S JUST...

OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.

WHAT?

I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO IT.

THE EMBRYO TRANSFER--

I DON'T--I DON'T WANT YOU TO TRY AGAIN.

I'M GONNA GO.

WAIT. ARE YOU OKAY?

YES, YES. I JUST NEED TO TALK TO PETE.

HEAR ME OUT.

UM...

LOOK, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU,

UH, IT REALLY-- IT REALLY SCARED ME.

AND I KNOW THAT--THAT-- THAT THERE WAS A COMPLICATION

OR--OR WHATEVER,

BUT IT REALLY--IT-- I WAS REALLY SCARED.

SO FOR YOU TO TRY TO DO IT AGAIN,

I...

I LOVE YOU.

ALL RIGHT? AND I'M ASKING YOU, PLEASE--

I ALREADY DID IT.

THIS MORNING, JAKE TRANSFERRED TWO OF MY FROZEN EMBRYOS.

I WAS GONNA TELL YOU TONIGHT.

BUT JUST SO YOU KNOW,

SAM, THIS IS IT.

OKAY? NO MORE HORMONES, NO MORE I.V.F.,

NO MORE SPERM DONORS.

I'M EITHER PREGNANT OR I'M NOT.

OKAY.

I DON'T WANT TO BE ANNA.

WHAT?

YOUR WIFE. YOUR FIRST WIFE.

YOU HATED HER, BUT YOU STUCK.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO HATE ME BUT STICK ANYWAY.

I DON'T--I DON'T-- I DON'T WANT TO BE ANNA.

AND I KNOW WE TOOK VOWS,

AND I KNOW YOU PRIDE YOURSELF ON STICKING TO YOUR WORD.

I KNOW YOU'LL STAY, PETE. YOU'LL STAY NO MATTER WHAT.

BUT... I DON'T WANT THAT.

THAT IS NO LIFE FOR ME OR FOR LUCAS.

AND--AND I KNOW YOU ARE MORE COMFORTABLE STICKING

THAN BEING THE GUY WHO LEAVES,

SO, UM...

SO I'LL--I'LL LEAVE YOU.

IF YOU CAN'T DO IT

BUT THAT'S REALLY WHAT YOU WANT,

IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME...

IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE,

THEN ASK ME TO LEAVE...

AND I WILL.

I'LL DO THAT FOR YOU,

FOR US.

AND WE'LL...

WE'LL FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT OKAY FOR LUCAS.

I DO LOVE YOU. I STILL LOVE YOU.

BUT I DON'T WANT THIS FOR US.

SO THINK ABOUT IT.

TAKE A WEEK. TAKE--TAKE YOUR TIME.

BUT... KNOW THAT I MEAN IT.

I'LL LET YOU OUT.

I'LL BE THE ONE WHO LEAVES.

OKAY?

CAN YOU NOD IF IT'S OKAY?

OKAY.

SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.

IT'S NO BOTHER.

MASON WAS HOPING TO FIND COOPER.

AH, COOPER'S AT THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW.

HE'S THERE A LOT.

WELL, HE HELPS A LOT OF KIDS THERE.

COME ON. I WAS JUST HEADING OVER.

I BET WE COULD FIND HIM TOGETHER.

SAY THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, CHARLOTTE.

YOU BET.

DID YOU THINK ABOUT IT?

I'M SO SORRY, VIOLET.

OKAY.

HEY. HEY, TOBY. HOW YOU FEELIN'?

I'M TIRED, BUT LESS THAN YESTERDAY.

GETTING STRONGER EVERY DAY, THOUGH, RIGHT, BUDDY?

OKAY. SO THIS IS GREAT.

YOUR T-CELL COUNT IS RETURNING TO NORMAL.

HEY.

MASON, COME IN.

I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY SON.

MASON, THIS IS TOBY. TOBY, THIS IS MASON.

HI.

HI.

DO YOU LIKE POKEMON?

'CAUSE I BROUGHT MY CARDS IN CASE YOU WANTED TO PLAY.

I'VE NEVER PLAYED.

WELL, THEY'RE REALLY COOL. HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU.

THERE'S SIMISAGE, COTTONEE, SIMIPOUR,

PIKACHU, SCRAGGY.

YOU'LL BE BETTER SOON, 'CAUSE MY DAD FIXED YOU.

THERE'S SCRAGGY, SUICUNE, SEADRA,

EEVEE.

SO HE'S ASLEEP.

I'M GONNA GO TO THE HOTEL,

BUT I'LL BE BACK IN THE MORNING IN TIME FOR BREAKFAST.

I'LL MAKE HIM HIS PANCAKES. YOU CAN GO FOR YOUR RUN.

WE'LL SET HIM UP WITH THE NANNY, AND, UH...

WE'LL MAKE IT NORMAL FOR HIM,

AS NORMAL AS IT CAN BE.

AND, UH, I FEEL--

I-I THINK THAT WE SHOULD STILL

GO TOGETHER TO, UM,

ADDISON'S FOR THANKSGIVING TOMORROW,

'CAUSE... THAT'S WHAT WE WERE PLANNING TO DO,

SO FOR LUCAS, IT'LL BE, YOU KNOW...

WE SHOULD DO IT FOR LUCAS.

AND THEN WE'LL TALK.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT HOW WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT WORK NOW.

DON'T DO DRUGS.

THE FIRST TIME I GOT SOBER, I WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE.

AND I JUST 'CAUSE I SLIPPED, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT...

I BECAME A DOCTOR,

AND I'VE SAVED A LOT OF LIVES,

AND I AM GONNA SAVE MORE IF I STAY CLEAN.

AND IF YOU STAY CLEAN,

YOU CAN DO AND BE ANYTHING YOU WANT.

ALL RIGHT? YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

INSIDE AND OUT, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

YOU ARE SMART AND YOU ARE CAPABLE

AND YOU CAN DO AND BE WHATEVER YOU WANT.

AND I'LL HELP.

OKAY? I'M YOUR FAMILY NOW, AND I WILL HELP.

THAT'S MASON. FIX THAT ONE.

MM. IT MEANT A LOT TO COOPER

TO HAVE MASON HERE FOR THANKSGIVING.

YEAH.

THANK YOU. SHALL WE?

OH. THIS ONE?

YEAH.

SEEMS JUST LIKE A MINUTE AGO,

I WAS PLAYING WITH MAYA LIKE THAT.

WELL, WITH ANY LUCK,

ADDISON WILL GET TO EXPERIENCE THE SAME THING, RIGHT?

THIS IS NICE,

BEING HERE,

EVERYONE ALL TOGETHER.

ARE THERE ASSIGNED SEATS, OR, UH--

OH, ANYWHERE'S FINE. ANYWHERE'S FINE.

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT?

ACROSS FROM YOU. ALL RIGHT. HERE YOU GO.

IS THERE ROOM AT THE TABLE FOR ONE MORE?

WE'LL MAKE ROOM.

ABSOLUTELY.

THERE'S AN OPEN SEAT RIGHT NEXT TO ME.

YEAH, YOU'RE JUST IN TIME.

DINNER IS READY.

WAIT. WH-WHERE'S ADDISON?