Original subtitles

IT'S RAINING.

IT'S RAINING!

IT'S RAINING!

YOU HAVE ONE SAVED MESSAGE.

Hi, babe. It's me. I'm gonna be late.

You should pick up some Chinese and we'll eat in bed, okay?

Love you.

Hi, babe. It's me. I'm gonna be late.

You should pick up some Chinese and we'll eat in bed, okay?

Love you.

YOU LISTENING TO ALLAN'S MESSAGE AGAIN?

I HAVE OTHER MESSAGES... FROM PATIENTS.

DO THOSE PATIENTS ASK YOU TO PICK UP CHINESE

AND TELL YOU THEY LOVE YOU? YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M SORRY I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT. I THOUGHT YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

GUYS DON'T KEEP MESSAGES FROM AN EX. THAT'S A WOMAN THING.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

THAT YOU DIDN'T GET OFF THE INTERNET? OH. JUST ERASE THE MESSAGE.

BE A MAN.

UM, MOM...

YOU KNOW, I CAN DRIVE YOU TO SCHOOL TODAY?

YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN-- I CAN DRIVE HER TO SCHOOL.

DADDY.

BACK UP, WOMAN.

GOOD GIRL.

IT IS RAINING.

YOU'RE WET.

BECAUSE IT IS RAINING.

IT RAINS IN SEATTLE,

WHICH IS WHERE I LEFT MY UMBRELLA.

IT DOES NOT RAIN IN LOS ANGELES.

IT RAINS IN L.A. IT'S RAINING RIGHT NOW.

REALLY? RIGHT NOW?

MAYA'S STAYING AT SAM'S.

FOR A WHOLE WEEK-- SHE ASKED TO STAY AT SAM'S. SHE'S GROWING UP.

I HATE HER. ARE WE GONNA DO THE MORNING MEETING?

WELL, SAM'S GONNA BE LATE 'CAUSE HE-- AND WHERE'S PETE?

HE IS RUNNING AN ERRAND.

IS THAT A CHOCOLATE CAKE?

YEAH, I MADE IT. BUT YOU CAN HAVE SOME IF YOU WANT.

ADDISON, YOU WANT SOME CHOCOLATE CAKE?

CAN I TALK TO YOU?

THANKS.

VIOLET SAYS I SHOULD COME HERE AND TALK TO YOU.

I DON'T BELIEVE IN IT.

BUT VIOLET SAYS...

SHE THINKS I'M NOT GONNA HEAL,

WHICH IS SO...

UNTIL I SAY THIS THING TO YOU, I'M NOT GONNA MOVE ON.

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAYS. I DON'T KNOW.

BUT I'M GONNA SAY IT...

JUST IN CASE SHE'S RIGHT.

YOU WERE A LOUSY WIFE, AND I HATED YOU.

OKAY.

THERE, I SAID IT.

I THINK MAYA LIKES SAM BETTER THAN ME.

I THINK HE WINS.

WHERE ARE THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

RUNNING IN SLOW MOTION ON THE BEACH?

WHAT? THIS IS L.A.

L.A. IS SUPPOSED TO BE FULL OF SWIMMING POOLS AND MOVIE STARS.

L.A. IS A PLACE THAT YOU LURED ME TO

WITH YOUR CHAMPAGNE WISHES AND CAVIAR DREAMS.

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL,

YOU NEED TO START WATCHING MORE CURRENT TV.

AND SECOND OF ALL, IT'S JUST A LITTLE RAIN.

IT'LL--IT'LL PASS. IT'S NOT ABOUT THE RAIN.

I MEAN, IT IS ABOUT THE RAIN.

BUT I WOULD BE FINE WITH THE RAIN

IF EVERYTHING ELSE WAS JUST A LITTLE MORE...

WHAT?

I HAD THIS WHOLE DREAM ABOUT... MOVING HERE,

THAT... IT WOULD BE...

BETTER AND... SPECIAL,

THAT I WOULD BE...

I DON'T FIT HERE.

I'M A SURGEON. I THINK LIKE A SCIENTIST.

THERE'S NO SCIENCE TO THIS.

LOOK, DIG IN, ALL RIGHT? MAKE FRIENDS.

LEARN TO PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS.

IT'S RAINING.

NOT TO GET ALL PETE-ZEN ON YOU, BUT IT'S RAINING EVERYWHERE.

DOUG...

WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR YEARS.

WE'VE COME A LONG WAY.

YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY.

YOU ASKED ME TO HELP YOU DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT,

AND YOU HAVE.

YOU ARE SO CLOSE.

I-I JUST DON'T KNOW IF I CAN LEAVE HER.

YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED. YOU HAVE ALL THE TOOLS.

REMEMBER? YOU'RE LIKE A... A...

A RUNNING BACK. A RUNNING BACK,

SPRINTING PAST THE OBSTACLES, RUNNING FOR THE GOALPOSTS,

AND YOU'RE ALMOST THERE.

AND I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE ROOTING FOR YOU.

I AM YOUR OWN PERSONAL CHEERING SECTION.

I JUST, I-I DON'T-- DOUG. DOUG. DOUG.

I SHOULD LEAVE HER.

I SHOULD-- DOUG. DOUG. DOUG.

I SHOULD STAND UP TO HER.

I-I SHOULD FIGHT FOR MY RIGHT TO BE HAPPY. BRING THE BALL HOME, DOUG.

I AM TELLING MY WIFE I WANT A DIVORCE.

TOUCHDOWN!

OKAY, BOUNDARIES, DOUG. BOUNDARIES.

SORRY. I'M SORRY. GOSH. SORRY.

HEY.

HEY, CATHLEEN, GEOFFREY. HOW WAS THE, UH, WEDDING?

MM. MAGICAL, BEAUTIFUL, ROMANTIC.

EVERYONE SHOULD GET MARRIED.

YEAH. WE HAD A 3-WEEK HONEYMOON IN AFRICA.

WE CLIMBED MOUNT KILIMANJARO,

SCALED VICTORIA FALLS, AND NOW WE'RE BACK HERE.

WE--I MADE AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE NEW O.B.-G.Y.N.

HONEYMOON BABY?

JUST LET US SEE THE DOCTOR!

SORRY. WE'RE JUST EAGER TO--

YEAH. DR. MONTGOMERY, RIGHT. TAKE YOU RIGHT BACK.

IT'S JUST...

ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT, WE, UH...

I COULDN'T EVEN...

WHAT?

WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR THREE WEEKS,

AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO IT EVEN ONCE.

OH. SEX. YOU COULDN'T--

SHE'S WORRIED THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER.

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.

MY HOO-HA IS BROKEN.

SO HOW DO YOU FEEL?

LIKE IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME.

HOW IS TALKING TO A ROCK OVER MY DEAD WIFE'S BODY HELPFUL?

YOU'RE IN A RUT. YOU'RE STUCK.

YOU NEEDED TO JUMP-START YOUR EMOTIONS, FACE THEM.

YOU KNOW, I HATE TO DISPARAGE YOUR PROFESSION, BUT--

YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM GOOD. I AM BRILLIANT.

I HAD A PATIENT THIS MORNING

TRAPPED FOR 19 YEARS IN A MARRIAGE.

BUT TODAY HE'S READY TO ASK FOR A DIVORCE.

I GOT HIM OUT OF HIS RUT. HE'S READY TO MOVE ON.

YOU LIKE YOURSELF AN AWFUL LOT TODAY. I KICK ASS AT MY JOB. I RULE.

DOUG?

ARE YOU THE THERAPIST WHO TOLD MY HUSBAND TO LEAVE ME?

IS THIS HER? IS THIS HER?

HONEY.

DID YOU TELL MY HUSBAND TO DIVORCE ME?

YOU DO. YOU DO RULE.

I DON'T MEAN TO BE A BOTHER.

I HAD TO BRING ERIN BACK. SHE WAS JUST SO... BLUE.

WELL, IT'S GOTTA BE HARD ON HER. IT'S TERRIBLE.

BUT IT'S NORMAL FOR KIDS TO FEEL A LITTLE DOWN

WHEN THEY'RE SICK.

IT'S REALLY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. WHAT? NO, SHE'S BLUE.

UNDERSTOOD.

LIGHT BLUE.

OKAY. WHAT?

CORNFLOWER--

BLUE. RIGHT.

YEAH, THAT'S A PRETTY NASTY BLEED.

DOUG, WHAT HAPPENED? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED.

MR. MIDLIFE CRISIS HERE CAME HOME, DROPPED HIS BRIEFCASE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR

AND DEMANDED A DIVORCE.

YOU'RE NOT LEAVING ME. OH, NO, SIR. YOU MADE A VOW.

I NEED YOU TO KEEP YOUR HEAD TITLED, PLEASE, MRS. ADAMS.

SHE GOT UPSET ABOUT THE... THEN HER NOSE STARTED BLEEDING,

AND IT WOULDN'T STOP.

MRS. ADAMS, HAS YOUR NOSE EVER SPONTANEOUSLY BLED BEFORE? NO.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? PROBABLY JUST MUCOSAL IRRITATION.

YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT LIKE LIFE WITH DOUG HAS BEEN

A WALK IN THE PARK, BUT I'M NOT A QUITTER. I NEED YOU TO KEEP YOUR HEAD TILTED BACK, PLEASE.

I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN! OKAY. I THINK THE BEST THING TO DO RIGHT NOW

IS FOR EVERYONE TO STAY CALM.

UM, WAS SHE... EXPOSED TO ANY WATER FROM A WELL

OR A SPRING?

NO.

HOW ABOUT ANTIBIOTICS?

UNH-UNH. NOTHING LIKE THAT.

QUIET FOR MOMMY. THE DOCTOR'S THINKING.

DENTAL FILLINGS?

YES. SHE WENT TO THE DENTIST-- HER FIRST CAVITY.

DENTAL ANESTHESIA CAN REACT WITH HEMOGLOBIN IN THE BLOOD.

I'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE, BUT IT HAPPENS.

BUT IT ISN'T SERIOUS? SHE'S GONNA BE OKAY? A ONETIME THING LIKE THIS,

I'LL GIVE HER AN I.V. TREATMENT OF METHYLENE BLUE,

SHE'LL BE NICE AND PINK IN NO TIME.

THAT SHOULD DO THE TRICK.

UM...

I GOTTA TAKE A PICTURE.

YOU TOTALLY DO.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, CATHLEEN, I'M GONNA ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS

ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE, AND THE MORE YOU CAN TELL ME

ABOUT PREVIOUS PARTNERS, EXPERIENCES--

OH, MY GOD. I DON'T HAVE ANY PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES.

I MEAN, UH, MEN, BEFORE GEOFFREY.

I'M A VIRGIN, DR. MONTGOMERY.

OH.

I KNOW. NO ONE WAITS THIS LONG. IT'S WEIRD.

IT'S NOT WEIRD. IT'S JUST... SURPRISING.

I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE IT UP IN HIGH SCHOOL

TO SOME BAND GEEK IN THE BACK OF HIS DAD'S CAR, YOU KNOW?

IN COLLEGE, I KEPT THINKING, HE'S COMING... THE ONE,

AND I WANTED TO WAIT FOR HIM.

AND THEN I THOUGHT, I'VE WAITED THIS LONG,

I SHOULD HOLD OUT.

I WANT IT TO MEAN SOMETHING.

I WANTED THE FAIRYTALE.

I WANT IT TO BE SPECIAL AND PERFECT.

I WANTED-- THE MAGIC.

EXACTLY.

SOME MAGIC.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

OKAY?

ALL RIGHTY, THIS IS GONNA BE A LITTLE COLD.

OW.

OKAY. I KNOW IT'S A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE.

JUST TRY TO RELAX. OKAY?

I AM RELAXED.

OW!

YOU'VE HAD EXAMS BEFORE THIS?

OH, GOD. IT'S REALLY BROKEN. IT'S BROKEN, ISN'T IT?

IT'S NOT THE KIND OF THING THAT BREAKS. OKAY.

WE'RE GONNA GO REALLY SLOW.

OKAY...

KNOCKING AT THE DOOR.

STOPPING IN FOR A LITTLE VISIT,

AND I'M KNOCKING.

KNOCKING A LITTLE HARDER.

OW! OW, OW, OW.

AND I'M DONE KNOCKING. I'M GONNA DIE A VIRGIN.

WE'RE GONNA FIGURE THIS OUT, CATHLEEN.

WE ARE GOING TO GET YOU YOUR WEDDING NIGHT.

OKAY?

SHE'S 35, AND SHE'S NEVER--

NOPE.

AND THE GATES ARE CLOSED,

LOCKED, WELDED SHUT.

HOLDING ON TO YOUR VIRGINITY FOR THAT LONG? I THINK IT'S SAD.

IT'S NOT SAD. IT'S SWEET.

OKAY, NOT BEING ABLE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR HUSBAND

WHEN YOU WANT TO, THAT'S SAD.

BUT THE WAITING?

I MEAN, WHAT'S WRONG WITH WANTING A LITTLE MAGIC?

I LOST MY VIRGINITY WHEN I WAS 17. IT WAS NOT MAGIC.

A LOT OF FRICTION.

I GOT RUG BURNS IN BAD PLACES.

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T GET THE MAGIC UNTIL SAM? MM.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT COULD BE MAGIC UNTIL SAM.

I HARDLY REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I HAD A LITTLE MAGIC.

MMM. I HEAR THAT.

MMM.

WHAT? WHAT?

HOW CAN YOU EAT THAT MUCH SUGAR THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING?

DELL MADE IT. I'M JUST BEING POLITE.

YOU KNOW, AND WHAT'S ALL THIS MAGIC TALK ANYWAY?

FIRST L.A. DOESN'T HAVE IT--

I DON'T KNOW.

THE LAST TIME I WAS HERE, I JUST FELT MORE... MAGIC-Y.

WELL, YEAH. YOU KISSED PETE.

I DID NOT KISS PETE.

PETE KISSED ME, WHICH I DID NOT ASK FOR.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE'S NORMAL.

YOU KNOW, ONE MINUTE HE'S HOT, THE NEXT MINUTE HE'S ARCTIC.

I DON'T NEED THAT KIND OF DAMAGE,

NO MATTER HOW FANCY HIS LIPS ARE.

HERE HE COMES.

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SEX, AREN'T YOU?

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT A PATIENT...

WHO CAN'T HAVE SEX.

WELL, SEND 'EM MY WAY. I'LL GET 'EM GOING. YOU KNOW, THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS ISSUE.

THIS IS A WOMAN WHO HAS NEEDS, WHO HAS WANTS,

WHO NEEDS AND WANTS MAGIC IN HER LIFE.

THIS IS NOT A DIRTY LITTLE JOKE

THAT YOU CAN MAKE

YOUR DIRTY LITTLE JOKES ABOUT, DIRTY MAN.

YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL.

YOU THINK YOU DO, BUT YOU DON'T.

SO... DON'T CALL ME NAMES.

YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM A PASS THIS WEEK. WHY?

YOU JUST...

SHOULD.

SEE WHAT I MEAN?

A CLUB. A CLOSED CLUB.

I WENT BACK ON MY VOW, AND--AND NOW SHE'S BLEEDING?

MY WORDS DID THAT.

NO, YOU DON'T CONTROL ANYTHING EXCEPT YOURSELF.

OUR WORK TOGETHER HAS NOT BEEN ABOUT

GETTING YOU TO LEAVE YOUR WIFE.

IT'S BEEN ABOUT GETTING YOU TO SAY WHAT YOU WANT.

REMEMBER THE GOALPOSTS, DOUG.

THE GOALPOSTS.

RIGHT.

RIGHT.

SO SHE LOST SOME IRON.

BIG DEAL.

I WANT A DIVORCE.

YES, YOU DO.

KAREN, I...

THE BLEEDING GOT A LOT WORSE. I CHECKED HER C.B.C.

HER HEMATOCRIT'S LESS THAN 30.

LESS THAN 30? ARE--ARE YOU SURE?

YOU MEAN THERE'S SOMETHING REALLY WRONG WITH HER?

YES, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.

YOU PICKED A GREAT TIME TO WALK OUT, DOUG. JUST GREAT.

IT'S CALLED VAGINISMUS.

IT'S A CONDITION THAT CAUSES

A CONSTANT INVOLUNTARY MUSCLE SPASM.

SO YOU HAVE A WAY TO FIX IT, RIGHT?

YOU--YOU CAN FIX IT?

NOT--NOT THAT I'M NOT FINE THE WAY THINGS ARE. I'M FINE.

I LOVE YOU,

AND I DON'T NEED TO HAVE SEX TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU.

YOU CAN FIX IT? PLEASE TELL ME YOU CAN FIX IT.

WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO PRESCRIBE A MUSCLE RELAXANT

FOR YOU, CATHLEEN,

AND YOU'D TAKE IT ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE YOU--

A PILL. THAT'S GOOD. A-A PILL. I CAN DO A PILL. AND IT'LL WORK?

WELL, THERE HAVE BEEN CASE STUDIES.

UM, JUST, UH... GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT.

AT--AT HOME.

GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT AT HOME.

AND SHE NEEDS TO DO HER HOMEWORK AND SHOW IT TO YOU.

AND SHE CAN TALK ON THE PHONE,

BUT DO NOT LET HER GET ON THE INTERNET

BECAUSE YOU STILL DON'T HAVE THAT THING

THAT BLOCKS THE CHILD PREDATORS. GOOD NIGHT, NAOMI.

SHUFFLING MAYA BACK AND FORTH, IT'S JUST NOT PRACTICAL.

WE'RE GONNA BE FINE. MAYA'S GONNA BE FINE.

YOU AND YOUR HEAD TAKE THE NIGHT OFF. IT'S JUST THAT SHE'S A GIRL.

MOTHERS KNOW MORE WHEN IT COMES TO GIRLS.

UH, I'M--I'M SHUTTING DOWN FOR THE NIGHT

UNLESS YOU NEED ANYTHING.

NO, UH, BUT, UH, HERE. UH, HERE'S YOUR CAKE CARRIER.

YOU ATE THE WHOLE THING?

WE. I-I DIDN'T... EAT A WHOLE CAKE.

I MEAN, I C-- I WOULDN'T.

I-I COULDN'T. I...

IT WAS REALLY GOOD.

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT.

UH... OKAY.

OKAY, THANK YOU.

STILL RAINING.

YEAH. I SEE THAT.

I MADE YOU ANOTHER ONE LAST NIGHT.

I R-- I-I REALLY SHOULDN'T.

THIS TIME I BAKED CHOCOLATE CHIPS INSIDE.

I CAN'T.

THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT WANT IT.

SO I'LL JUST, UH... RIGHT.

NO SEX.

NOT EVEN A LITTLE SEX.

REALLY? DID--OR-- REALLY?

SHE TOOK THE PILL. SHE--

WE TRIED. OH, SISTER, HOW WE TRIED.

HONEY, IT'S OKAY. IT'S NOT OKAY. I NEED SEX.

I NEED SEX, GEOFFREY.

I HAVE WAITED AND WAITED AND WAITED,

AND I WANT TO DO IT. I WANT TO DO IT NOW. LOOK, I KNOW, I'M JUST SAYING,

YOU DON'T NEED TO GET UPSET.

WE HAVE OTHER THINGS TO CONNECT US.

YOU'RE A MAN, GEOFFREY, A BIG, STRONG, VERY HOT MAN,

WHICH IS...

I HIT THE JACKPOT WITH YOU.

AND WE WANT KIDS. WE WANT A FAMILY.

WHICH IS NOW NOT GONNA HAPPEN BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE ME

FOR SOMEONE ELSE-- I'M NOT GONNA LEAVE YOU.

I DON'T NEED SEX.

WE DON'T LIE TO ONE ANOTHER.

WE NEVER HAVE.

DON'T START NOW.

PLEASE, DOCTOR.

PLEASE.

OKAY...

NOTHING I'VE TRIED HAS WORKED.

I MEAN, SHE JUST CAN'T... JU--SHE JUST CAN'T.

AND SHE DESERVES-- HE'S... HER GUY, HER ONE.

MARRIAGE WITHOUT SEX.

IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

MAYBE IT'S PSYCHOLOGICAL.

CAN YOU SEE HER?

UM...

ACTUALLY, PETE SHOULD SEE HER. WHAT?

WHAT?

THERE ARE SOME VERY GOOD STUDIES

ABOUT GUIDED ACTUALIZATION, AND THAT'S HIS AREA. THAT'S MY AREA.

YEAH... UH...

WANT SOME CAKE?

MMM.

SWEET MOTHER OF CHOCOLATE.

I KNOW.

YOU REALIZE YOUR REPLACING SEX WITH FOOD? YOU WANT SOME?

IT...

COME ON. COME ON.

HOLY... MMM.

MM-HMM.

MMM.

YOU EAT IT, BABY.

SEE? THEY'RE GETTING HAPPY OVER CAKE.

I MEAN, IF I COULD GET HAPPY OVER CAKE...

WELL, I WOULDN'T BE A MAN.

EXACTLY. SECRET TO WOMEN.

OH, LIKE YOU KNOW THE SECRET TO WOMEN.

YOU'RE A CHILD.

YOU CAN BARELY GROW FACIAL HAIR.

YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN YET.

FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY WANT AND GIVE IT TO THEM.

YEAH... WELL, THAT'S...

YOU BAKED THAT CAKE?

MY GRANDMOTHER BAKED THAT CAKE.

BUT NAOMI DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.

FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY WANT AND GIVE IT TO THEM.

IT WASN'T THE FILLINGS.

IS ERIN OKAY? WHAT HAPPENED?

I-I DON'T KNOW. THEY JUST GOT WORSE.

GET AN EXAM ROOM--

YOU WANT JUST ONE?

YOUR PATIENT WHO CAN'T HAVE SEX?

MY PATIENT. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. SHE'S CHECKING HER HISTORY TO SEE IF SHE MIGHT BE ABLE

TO FIND ANYTHING THAT COULD BE CAUSING THE VAGINISMUS. DELL.

HE ASKED. HE SNOOPED.

YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO TRY MY THING? YOUR THING?

WHAT, TO CREATIVELY VISUALIZE THE PARTING OF THE RED SEA,

A GENTLE OPENING OF A FLOWER?

YOU KNOW, ADDISON, THE WAY WE WORK AROUND HERE IS--

YEAH, I KNOW, YOU UTILIZE EACH OTHER.

I GOT IT. BUT THIS IS-- WE TAKE IT SLOW.

AND YOUR SOLUTION IS, WHAT, PUT HER IN SURGERY?

THIS WOMAN IS NOT GONNA DIE IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE SEX.

OH, PLEASE. IF IT WAS YOU GOING WITHOUT,

YOU'D BE BEGGING TO GO UNDER THE KNIFE,

MY HIGHLY SKILLED KNIFE. I KNEW IT WAS TOO MUCH

TO HOPE FOR A DOUBLE BOARD CERTIFIED SURGEON

NOT TO BE THE MOST ARROGANT-- ARROGANT?

YOU'VE GOT A GOD AND A BUDDHA COMPLEX

ALL ROLLED UP INTO ONE BIG, ARROGANT--

I GOT THIS.

BACK OFF.

OH, COME ON.

NAOMI IS THIS CLOSE TO A DIABETIC COMA

THANKS TO YOUR CAKE, SO YOU'RE WAY WORSE THAN I AM.

OKAY.

DR. TURNER?

KAREN. STAY OUT OF MY MARRIAGE.

I THINK YOU TOOK CARE OF THAT.

DOUG CANCELED HIS THERAPY APPOINTMENT THIS MORNING.

WELL, I WANT TO MAKE SURE IT STAYS THAT WAY.

AND IF HE SHOWS UP AGAIN...

I PAY THE BILLS. YOU WON'T SEE A DIME.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE DIME, AND EVEN IF I DID...

W-WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR SOMETHING

THAT MAKES YOU BOTH SO MISERABLE?

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MY MARRIAGE MAKES ME FEEL.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM.

YOU ONLY HAVE DOUG'S SIDE OF THE STORY.

I'M THE BITCH, AND HE'S--HE'S...

I-I AM NOT ON ANYBODY'S--

JUST STAY AWAY FROM-- DID YOU--

KAREN! KAREN! WE NEED SOME HELP!

I HEAR YOU GOT BLUE GIRLS.

I RAN LABS. NOTHING'S TURNED UP SO FAR.

IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.

I GIVE THEM I.V.s, AND THEY TURN PINK AND SEEM FINE AND...

THEIR MOM INSISTED ON TAKING THEM HOME.

YOU WANT ME TO TAKE A LOOK AT 'EM?

I ORDERED EXTENSIVE BLOOD CHROMATOGRAPHS.

WHEN THOSE COME BACK, YEAH, MAYBE.

THE MOM CHECKED THE HOUSE FOR ENVIRONMENTAL TOXINS?

YEAH, I GAVE HER THE FULL LIST

AND SHE SAID SHE'S GONNA GO OVER IT TOP TO BOTTOM,

WHICH IS GONNA TAKE A WHILE AND...

THAT'S TIME WE DON'T HAVE.

YOU KNOW, I'M GOING OVER THERE. I'M GONNA GIVE HER A HAND.

THERE'S NOTHING HERE FROM MY LIST OF CONTAMINANTS,

AND THE GIRLS WERE NO PLACE ELSE TODAY?

NO FRIEND'S HOUSES? NO--

THEY'VE BEEN HERE ALL DAY, WITH ME.

THIS WAS MY GREAT PLAN.

I QUIT MY JOB, FIRED THE NANNY BECAUSE I COULD DO IT BETTER.

YOU'VE CHILDPROOFED, YOU BUY ORGANIC,

YOU HAVE, UH, BIODEGRADABLE DRYER SHEETS.

I COULD EAT THEM. OKAY? THIS IS NOT NEGLIGENCE.

YEAH, BUT...

IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO THEM,

I--THEIR DAD TRAVELS ALL THE TIME.

I CAN'T CALL HIM UP AND SAY-- FOR NOW WE JUST NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT'S DOING THIS

SO THAT THE EXPOSURE DOESN'T BECOME EVEN MORE DANGEROUS.

BUT WE'VE GONE THROUGH THE HOUSE TOP TO BOTTOM.

THE YARD, THE GARAGE-- WHAT DID THE GIRLS SAY ABOUT IT?

WHERE WERE THEY BEFORE THIS HAPPENED? THEY DON'T TALK, NOT TO ME,

NOT TO ANYONE OVER 8. MOMMY!

ERIN.

MOMMY, WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ERIN?

SHE'S HAVING A SEIZURE.

SHE'LL BE OKAY. SHE'LL BE OKAY.

I GOT YOUR TEST RESULTS.

YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING CALLED WEGENER'S DISEASE.

IT'S A DISEASE OF THE BLOOD VESSELS

THAT AFFECTS THE EARS, NOSE, THROAT AND KIDNEYS.

DOES SHE...

DOES SHE DIE FROM THIS?

WELL, IT TAKES YEARS TO PROGRESS TO THAT STAGE.

WITH THE PROPER TREATMENT,

WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO KEEP IT AT BAY FOR A LONG TIME. YOU WERE LUCKY.

SOME PEOPLE BLEED OUT INTERNALLY BEFORE THE DISEASE IS CAUGHT.

LUCKY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

YOU SHOULD CHANGE.

SAM...

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF IT WERE NAOMI?

IF SHE HAD GOTTEN SICK RIGHT BEFORE THE DIVORCE?

I WOULD'VE STAYED.

VULVAR VESTIBULITIS.

SHISTIKINIATIS.

WHAT? I THOUGHT WE WERE SAYING WEIRD STUFF.

MY VIRGIN. SHE HAS VULVAR VESTIBULITIS.

I WENT THROUGH HER ENTIRE MEDICAL HISTORY.

SHE HAS INFLAMMATION,

PROBABLY CAUSED BY CHRONIC YEAST INFECTIONS,

WHICH MADE HER NERVE ENDINGS

EXTRAORDINARILY SENSITIVE TO PAIN,

WHICH IN TURN MADE ANY ATTEMPT TO HAVE SEX-- OUCH.

THAT KIND OF PAIN IS WHAT CAUSED HER MUSCLES TO LOCK UP.

SO I'M GONNA DO TRIGGER POINT INJECTIONS

OF LIDOCAINE AND STEROIDS IN THE SENSITIVE AREAS.

AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA SEND HER TO PETE?

NO. I CAN FIX THIS MYSELF.

YOU CAN FIX THE VULVAR VESTIBULITIS,

BUT PETE CAN FIX THE VAGINISMUS. WHAT--

IF YOU WORK TOGETHER WITH HIM, THE TWO OF YOU WILL BE ABLE

TO GIVE THIS WOMAN A NORMAL SEX LIFE.

WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS PUSHING PETE ON ME? WHY ARE YOU PUSHING SO HARD AGAINST HIM?

WAIT, YOU WANT TO BELONG HERE,

YOU WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE A PART OF THIS PLACE,

YOU NEED TO ACCEPT THAT PETE IS PART OF THE SOLUTION.

WISDOM COMING FROM A CAKE FIEND.

WELL, I JUST, UM, I JUST TAKE ALL THESE FEELINGS--

THE, UH, RAGE, THE EXHAUSTION, THE SEXUAL FRUSTRATION,

THE DESIRE TO RUN SAM DOWN WITH MY CAR,

THE FACT THAT MY CHILD NOW THINKS

THAT HER FATHER IS THE GOOD PARENT--

I JUST TAKE IT ALL AND I SHOVE IT DOWN

AS FAR AS IT'LL GO,

AND THEN I JUST PUT SOME FOOD ON TOP OF IT.

MAYBE... YOU SHOULD TALK TO SAM

INSTEAD OF INHALING 4,000 CALORIES A DAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU FIND YOUR MAGIC YOUR WAY.

I'LL FIND MY MAGIC MINE.

VIOLET SAID THAT I SHOULD CUT PETE SOME SLACK.

YEAH, YOU SHOULD.

MM, THE "WHY" IS WHAT I'M MISSING.

IT'S THE ANNIVERSARY OF HIS WIFE'S DEATH.

IS THIS GOING TO HURT?

I'M SORRY. IT IS.

OKAY.

OKAY.

OKAY.

HERE WE GO.

H-HOW MANY MORE? FOUR MORE.

FOUR MORE. I CAN DO FOUR MORE.

OKAY.

I'M OKAY. I CAN DO THIS.

THIS IS GONNA WORK? I MEAN, SHE'S GOING THROUGH THIS.

IT'S GONNA WORK?

IT WILL SOLVE THE CAUSE OF THE VAGINISMUS.

AND THEN I'LL GET MY WEDDING NIGHT?

THANKS. MM-HMM.

THANKS.

JUST DO IT.

HEY.

I, UH, DID A LITTLE RESEARCH,

AND I THINK MY PATIENT SHOULD TRY YOUR THING.

YOU WANT MY THING?

MY PATIENT. MY PATIENT NEEDS YOUR THING.

WHAT, NO COMMENTS ABOUT MY DIRTY TALK?

WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NICE TO ME?

I'M NOT. I...

CAN YOU HELP OR NOT?

00.

SHE'S TOXIC.

TREATMENT'S GONNA HAVE TO BE A LOT MORE AGGRESSIVE.

BUT... SHE'LL PULL THROUGH?

IT WOULD HELP IF WE KNEW WHAT WE WERE DEALING WITH,

THE CONTAMINANT.

GIRLS... THIS IS VERY, VERY SERIOUS.

DID YOU EAT ANYTHING,

TOUCH ANYTHING THAT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO?

MOMMY PROMISES NOT TO GET MAD.

IT WOULD REALLY HELP ERIN IF YOU TELL.

SAM.

YOU ORDERED THESE ANTIBODY STUDIES

FOR KAREN ADAMS, ROOM 1001? I DID.

AS CHIEF OF STAFF, I CAN'T SIGN OFF ON THIS.

THESE STUDIES ARE OBVIOUSLY UNNECESSARY.

I HAD TO CONFIRM A DIAGNOSIS.

AND SINCE WHEN HAS THAT BEEN AGAINST HOSPITAL POLICY?

SINCE YOUR PATIENT-- THIS KAREN ADAMS--

WAS DIAGNOSED WITH WEGENER'S DISEASE

AT THIS HOSPITAL SIX MONTHS AGO.

WAIT, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

SHE JUST STARTED EXHIBITING SYMPTOMS.

THAT'S WHAT SHE TOLD YOU.

THESE RECORDS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES.

SHE KNEW.

AND SHE NEVER TOLD HER HUSBAND.

WITH EVERYTHING HE DID TO YOU, THAT ISN'T--

HEY.

HEY, CHARLOTTE KING JUST CALLED.

UNNECESSARY TESTS ON KAREN ADAMS?

I'VE GOT A PATIENT WHO'S LYING TO ME

ABOUT HER MEDICAL CONDITION. IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

IF WE COULD JUST TELL DOUG THAT KAREN'S BEEN LYING TO HIM,

HE WOULD LEAVE HER. WE CAN'T. WE CAN'T REVEAL HER MEDICAL INFORMATION

TO ANYONE, INCLUDING HER HUSBAND, WITHOUT HER APPROVAL.

DOCTOR-PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY. SHE'S A PATIENT. SHE'S YOUR PATIENT.

AND YOUR PATIENT IS MESSING WITH MY PATIENT'S HAPPINESS.

THREE YEARS OF KICK-ASS THERAPY DOWN THE DRAIN

WITH ONE SWIFT DIAGNOSIS.

MAYBE THEY'LL WORK IT OUT.

I MEAN, PEOPLE DO MAKE MARRIAGES WORK. THEY WON'T MAKE IT WORK.

SHE'LL END UP HATING HIM.

AND HE'LL HATE HIMSELF FOR STAYING.

AFTER SHE'S GONE, THAT'S ALL HE'LL HAVE.

SO I THINK IF YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO HELP YOUR PATIENT,

YOU DO IT.

HEY, THE HOSPITAL SENT OVER THESE RESULTS ON ERIN MERRING.

I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW THESE GIRLS

ARE GETTING EXPOSED.

I CAN'T EVEN GET THEM TO TALK TO ME. WELL, WHAT ARE THEY INTO?

UH, FLUFFY... PINK PINKNESS?

OKAY, SO GO THERE, TOO. COMMIT.

GIVE 'EM WHAT THEY WANT.

OH, YOU AND YOUR CAKE.

THEY ARE WOMEN, COOPER.

TINY BLUE WOMEN, BUT STILL WOMEN. YEAH, NO.

I DIDN'T GET INTO THIS DEAL BECAUSE I'M A CLOWN.

WHAT, I'M SUPPOSED TO PLAY WITH MY PATIENTS?

I PUT A STICKER ON MY STETHOSCOPE.

THAT'S AS FAR AS I GO.

AND ERIN'S LYING THERE GETTING SICKER.

COMMIT TO THE CAKE, MAN.

WHO WANTS TO PLAY?

HI. COME ON IN.

MAKE YOURSELVES COMFORTABLE. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

FLOWERS OPENING...

RIVERS PARTING.

WELL...

I GOTTA GO GIVE OUT THE OL' PETE SPECIAL.

OKAY, WHAT?

IT'S JUST, NAOMI TOLD ME WHAT THIS WEEK IS.

THE ANNIVERSARY.

IT'S NOTHING.

WHERE EXACTLY ARE WE GOING? A SECRET PLACE.

OOH, YOU HAVE A SECRET PLACE?

WE HAVE A MAGIC CASTLE.

BUT FIRST WE GOTTA GET THROUGH THE FORTRESS.

THE FENCE IS THE FORTRESS.

COME ON.

YAH! AAH!

OH.

COME ON. OOH.

SIT DOWN.

AWESOME CASTLE.

MAGIC CASTLE. IT MAKES YOU SEE STARS.

SEE?

OH, STARS. YEAH.

WHOA.

THE STARS MAKE ME DIZZY.

ME, TOO.

ME THREE.

SEE? SEE THE STARS, HOW THEY GO ALL FUNNY?

THE STARS MAKE YOU DIZZY.

DR. BENNETT.

I TOLD YOU WE DON'T NEED A THERAPIST.

YOU ARE NOT MY PATIENT.

I AM HERE FOR DOUG.

AND I'M HERE FOR YOU, KAREN.

NOW I HAVE YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS HERE.

WOULD YOU LIKE FOR ME TO DISCUSS THEM IN FRONT OF DOUG?

OR WOULD YOU LIKE DOUG TO LEAVE THE ROOM WITH VIOLET?

IT'S UP TO YOU, BECAUSE AS YOUR DOCTOR, I CANNOT DISCUSS

WHAT'S IN HERE IN FRONT OF HIM WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION.

WHY--WHY WOULD I HAVE TO LEAVE THE ROOM? KAREN?

THIS ISN'T FAIR. YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

I AM NOT DISCUSSING ANYTHING WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION.

EITHER DOUG CAN STAY IN HERE WITH YOU AND SAM,

OR HE CAN COME OUT IN THE HALL AND TALK TO ME.

KAREN?

SO I KNEW I WAS SICK BEFORE. SO WHAT?

I DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD TAKE IT.

I THOUGHT YOU'D RUN AWAY LIKE THE WEAKLING YOU ARE,

SO... I DIDN'T TELL YOU.

BUT YOU KNEW YOU WERE SICK ALL--ALL THIS TIME?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE A WEAK, WHINY PAIN IN THE ASS.

BUT YOU SURPRISED ME. YOU DIDN'T RUN.

SO IT PROVES THAT YOU'RE NOT WEAK.

YOU'RE STRONG, AND I NEED YOU.

I NEED YOUR STRENGTH. I WANT YOU TO STAY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, DOUG?

YOU'VE BEEN COMING TO SEE ME FOR 36 MONTHS--

36 MONTHS AND THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.

YOU CAME AND YOU WORKED...

ALL SO YOU COULD SAY WHAT YOU WANT.

YOU'VE EARNED YOURSELF A VERY EXPENSIVE BACKBONE.

USE IT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

YOU PROMISED. I'M TALKING TO DOUG.

WHAT I WANT...

WHAT I WANT...

I WANT TO STAY.

DOUG, YOU-- I WANT TO STAY.

ALL RIGHT? END OF DISCUSSION.

I'M STAYING WITH KAREN.

I'M STAYING WITH MY WIFE.

GOOD-BYE. THANKS.

GOOD LUCK TONIGHT. TAKE CARE.

FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH--

DON'T SAY ANYTHING NICE TO ME.

I WASN'T. YOU WERE.

I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY. I DON'T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY.

I WAS GOING TO SAY,

WHATEVER YOU DID IN THERE FOR CATHLEEN, I HOPE IT WORKS.

THEY DESERVE TO HAVE A PERFECT NIGHT.

OH.

I GET A LITTLE...

I NEED...

I-I...

I'M A LITTLE LOST HERE.

MY WIFE WENT TO SLEEP BESIDE ME IN BED

ON A TUESDAY NIGHT.

ON WEDNESDAY MORNING, I WOKE UP, AND SHE WAS DEAD.

ONE BAD NIGHT, BUT...

ALL OUR NIGHTS WERE BAD.

AND WE NEVER HAD A PERFECT NIGHT...

NOT EVEN OUR WEDDING NIGHT.

NOTHING'S PERFECT.

NOTHING'S EVER PERFECT.

THAT'S THE MOST HE'S EVER TOLD ANYBODY

ABOUT HIS WIFE.

THE, UH, CASTLE IN YOUR NEIGHBOR'S YARD

IS FULL OF TOXIC FUMES

FROM OPEN BAGS OF FERTILIZER.

THAT'S WHAT MADE THEM SICK?

YEAH, THEY WERE INHALING AMMONIUM NITRATE.

FIRST IT TURNED 'EM BLUE,

THEN IT ATTACKED THEIR NERVOUS SYSTEMS.

THEY PLAY IN THE YARD.

I NEVER THOUGHT THEY'D GET BEYOND THE FENCE.

WELL, YOU KNOW, THEY KINDA KICK ASS SO...

MOM.

CAN THEY SIT IN MY BED?

BE GENTLE. OKAY?

I'M SORRY.

I-I KNOW HOW MUCH... YOU CARED,

HOW HARD YOU WORKED.

YOU WORKED. YOU DID MOST OF IT.

I-I MAY NOT BE IN LOVE WITH HER,

BUT... I OWE HER.

NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT SHE'S GOING THROUGH ALONE.

SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE--

I JUST WANTED TO SAY,

I-I STILL THINK WE DID SOMETHING HERE.

I MEAN, BEFORE I MET YOU, THINGS JUST HAPPENED TO ME.

I MADE A CHOICE TODAY.

BUT YOU'RE STILL PICKING WHAT'S SAFE, WHAT'S FAMILIAR,

PAIN THAT WON'T EVEN MAKE HER BETTER.

WHAT ABOUT-- WHAT I WANT...

IS FOR YOU TO BE THE THERAPIST AND ME TO BE THE PATIENT.

IT'S MY LIFE.

AT LEAST NOW I KNOW I'VE MADE MY BED.

NOBODY ELSE.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S YOUR CHOICE.

AND YOU MADE IT.

AND THAT IS SOMETHING.

THANKS.

IT'S NOT RAINING.

YEAH. YIPPEE.

I'M STARTING TO AGREE WITH YOU. ABOUT THE MAGIC?

THANK YOU. THAT--THAT'S-- THANK YOU.

OKAY, SO, UM, JUST CALL ME TONIGHT, OKAY?

MOM-- JUST--JUST CALL ME, OKAY?

WILL YOU MAKE SURE SHE CALLS ME?

OKAY.

QUIET DOWN IN THERE.

DOUBLE FUDGE WITH CHOCOLATE FROSTING.

YOU KNOW WHAT? ENOUGH WITH THE CAKE.

I DON'T WANT YOUR CAKE. I DON'T NEED YOUR CAKE.

I-I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR CAKE. I'M ALL CAKED OUT.

YOU KNOW WHOSE CAKE I WANT? I WANT SAM'S CAKE.

I WANT SAM'S CAKE, BUT SAM'S NOT BAKING A CAKE.

HE'S NOT BAKING A CAKE FOR ME. SO COULD YOU JUST-- NAI.

DELL, SHE'S, UH, SHE'S GOIN' OFF SUGAR FOR A WHILE.

I'M NOT GONNA STOP BRINGING YOU CAKE.

YOU-- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

ALL RIGHT, DELL, DELL, NO MORE CAKE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S JUST THAT MAYA LIKES SAM BETTER,

YOU'RE MAD AT ME FOR BRINGING YOU HERE,

AND THIS BOY IS BAKING CAKES AT ME! OKAY. SHH. YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS. WE ARE?

YES. YES, WE ARE ALL GONNA GET THROUGH THIS.

THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE US. WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.

JUST--WHEN IS SOMETHING GOOD GONNA HAPPEN? HUH?

WHEN IS--WHEN IS THERE GONNA BE A LITTLE--

MAGIC? YEAH, THAT'S THE UNENDING QUESTION.

YOU DRANK ALL THE ORANGE JUICE.

YOU HOGGED THE COVERS.

YOU PUT OUR DOG TO SLEEP.

YOU NEVER TOOK MY SIDE.

YOU WERE MEAN TO ME.

YOU WITHHELD SEX.

YOU WERE COLD.

YOU WERE A MEAN, COLD BITCH!

AND I HATE YOU!

I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

I'M SORRY I COULDN'T SAVE YOU.

Hi, babe. It's me. I'm gonna be late.

You should pick up some Chinese and we'll eat in bed, okay?

Love you.

MESSAGE DELETED.

WAY TO BE A MAN.

AAH! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU! YOU'RE AMAZING. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

UH, UH, PETE HELPED.

DR. WILDER--

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

I LOVE YOU, MAN.

WHAT DID THEY DO THAT WAS SO GREAT?

YEAH, WHAT DID THEY DO?

THEY SAVED A MARRIAGE.

MAGIC?

MAGIC.