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1
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[Groans]
2
00:00:02,361 --> 00:00:04,327
Mnh! How can my babies be early?!
3
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I've never been early to anything!
4
00:00:06,598 --> 00:00:07,964
Maybe they're not mine!
5
00:00:08,033 --> 00:00:09,699
I've always been faithful to you!
6
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,101
[Groaning]
7
00:00:11,381 --> 00:00:12,802
Push, damn it!
8
00:00:12,871 --> 00:00:14,270
I'm not losing another baby today.
9
00:00:14,339 --> 00:00:15,438
- [Flatline]
- [Groaning]
10
00:00:15,788 --> 00:00:17,607
Cardiac arrest. Crash cart!
11
00:00:17,676 --> 00:00:18,775
The shock could kill the baby!
12
00:00:18,877 --> 00:00:20,043
[Paddles whine]
13
00:00:20,112 --> 00:00:21,544
That's something I'll
just have to live with.
14
00:00:21,580 --> 00:00:23,413
Maybe we could turn off the TV?
15
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:24,581
- Clear!
- [TV shuts off]
16
00:00:24,583 --> 00:00:27,283
Well, folks,
I'm afraid I have some bad news.
17
00:00:27,386 --> 00:00:29,786
- Oh, my God, no.
- N-No, not that bad.
18
00:00:29,888 --> 00:00:31,287
I'm sorry. I did not think that through.
19
00:00:31,390 --> 00:00:33,223
No, you're not giving birth today.
20
00:00:33,291 --> 00:00:36,292
You've had false contractions, known
as Braxton Hicks. It's very common.
21
00:00:36,395 --> 00:00:38,128
Uh, so what does that mean timing-wise?
22
00:00:38,230 --> 00:00:40,530
It's no indication.
It could be five weeks from now,
23
00:00:40,632 --> 00:00:42,432
could be five hours from now.
24
00:00:42,534 --> 00:00:44,067
I suggest you and your husband go home,
25
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,602
get some sleep while you still can.
26
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,904
Oh, we're not married.
We're just lovers.
27
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,139
Ugh! Yuck.
28
00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:50,507
She hates that word.
29
00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:51,808
Grosses me out, too,
30
00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:53,910
and I spend a lot of my
time covered in afterbirth.
31
00:00:57,649 --> 00:00:59,315
Everything okay?
32
00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:01,284
Um... that was weird.
33
00:01:01,386 --> 00:01:03,119
Those little people
with the full-size baby?
34
00:01:03,221 --> 00:01:06,523
[Chuckles] No,
when the doctor called you my husband.
35
00:01:06,625 --> 00:01:08,692
[Chuckles] Well,
people are gonna assume...
36
00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:11,661
No, it... it was weird because I...
37
00:01:11,763 --> 00:01:12,929
liked it.
38
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Seriously?
Because I proposed, like, six times.
39
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:16,399
I know. I just...
40
00:01:16,468 --> 00:01:18,234
It seemed so old-fashioned at the time,
41
00:01:18,336 --> 00:01:21,071
but when I thought that
the babies were coming,
42
00:01:21,173 --> 00:01:22,906
I-I...
43
00:01:22,974 --> 00:01:24,541
Are you saying what I
think you're saying?
44
00:01:28,747 --> 00:01:30,146
I'm gonna need a little help here.
45
00:01:30,248 --> 00:01:31,281
Okay.
46
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,217
Okay, we're good. [Exhales sharply]
47
00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:37,153
Dylan Stardust Marshall, will you...
48
00:01:37,255 --> 00:01:39,289
Oh! Going over. Okay. Okay.
49
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I'm fine. I'm fine. It's okay.
50
00:01:40,826 --> 00:01:41,858
[Exhales sharply]
51
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:42,992
Will you marry me?
52
00:01:43,523 --> 00:01:46,629
Oh, my God.
This is exactly how I imagined it.
53
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,807
♪
54
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,070
I can't get in!
55
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:02,622
Damn it, Cam! We need those tickets!
56
00:02:02,648 --> 00:02:04,013
- Come on, refresh.
- I am!
57
00:02:04,116 --> 00:02:05,949
- Refresh like your life depends on it!
- I am!
58
00:02:06,051 --> 00:02:07,717
Tonight is the L.A. premiere
59
00:02:07,786 --> 00:02:10,220
of "Sophie's Choice: The Musical."
60
00:02:10,322 --> 00:02:11,821
And [Sighs] it sold out in seconds,
61
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,424
but the theater reserved
a few amazing house seats
62
00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:15,592
for an online lottery.
63
00:02:15,694 --> 00:02:16,793
And there's a rumor
64
00:02:16,895 --> 00:02:18,995
Meryl Streep is going
to be in the audience.
65
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,631
- Oh, my God.
- You have to feel for that poor actress playing Sophie.
66
00:02:21,733 --> 00:02:24,334
It'd be like me sewing costumes
in front of Bob Mackie.
67
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:27,904
And the award for the gayest
thing ever said goes to...
68
00:02:27,906 --> 00:02:29,005
- I'm in!
- You are?!
69
00:02:29,007 --> 00:02:31,007
- We have seats!
- Oh, my God! Oh, oh!
70
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,242
- Focus, focus.
- Okay, all right.
71
00:02:32,344 --> 00:02:33,877
Okay, it's one of those
ticking clock things.
72
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:36,279
That's fine.
We just need my... credit card.
73
00:02:36,381 --> 00:02:37,547
Where's my wallet?
Where... Where's my wall...
74
00:02:37,649 --> 00:02:39,249
- Where's my wallet?!
- Seriously? Again?
75
00:02:39,351 --> 00:02:40,850
Cam, you have to leave it in one place!
76
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:41,985
I told you a thousand times!
77
00:02:42,087 --> 00:02:43,186
Really? Now?
78
00:02:43,188 --> 00:02:44,454
Okay, just use your credit card.
79
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:45,555
[Groans]
80
00:02:45,557 --> 00:02:46,656
That's weird.
81
00:02:46,658 --> 00:02:48,625
Okay. I'm gonna be sick.
I'm gonna be sick!
82
00:02:48,727 --> 00:02:50,927
- Here... use mine.
- Oh! Thank you, sweetie.
83
00:02:51,029 --> 00:02:52,362
- Okay.
- Okay. All right.
84
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,264
[Muttering]
85
00:02:54,671 --> 00:02:56,533
- Is this a sign?
- Yes! We are meant to see the show!
86
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,001
No, it's one of those CAPTCHA things.
87
00:02:58,103 --> 00:02:59,202
Is that a road sign?!
88
00:02:59,204 --> 00:03:00,336
- Yes!
- I don't know.
89
00:03:00,438 --> 00:03:01,504
Yes.
90
00:03:01,506 --> 00:03:02,572
- [Ding]
- Oh! Ohh! Aah!
91
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,040
[Laughing] Oh, my God!
92
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,342
Oh, thank you, sweetie. You saved us.
93
00:03:06,411 --> 00:03:08,711
- It's fine. I needed the miles.
- Thank you.
94
00:03:09,737 --> 00:03:10,480
Where's she off to?
95
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,915
- I'm sure it's fine.
- Okay.
96
00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:15,618
How about this one?
97
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:16,986
You look gorgeous.
98
00:03:17,088 --> 00:03:18,221
Now, remember...
99
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:19,489
Okay, this is not my first time
100
00:03:19,591 --> 00:03:21,224
impressing your business associates.
101
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,425
I know the drill.
102
00:03:22,427 --> 00:03:24,727
Laugh at their jokes,
touch their arms...
103
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:25,862
Yeah, and if he pees on the floor,
104
00:03:25,964 --> 00:03:27,063
don't make a big deal out of it.
105
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,498
What is happening?
106
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,933
I quit the closet game
107
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:33,536
to become the king of high-end,
whimsical dog beds.
108
00:03:33,605 --> 00:03:35,805
And to market them today, I'm hosting
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00:03:35,907 --> 00:03:38,641
social-media influencer Arthur Goodboy.
110
00:03:38,743 --> 00:03:39,843
This little stud
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00:03:39,945 --> 00:03:43,012
has over 5 million
followers on the Instagram.
112
00:03:43,114 --> 00:03:46,216
One photo of him with a
product can be a game-changer.
113
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You made me change
three times for a dog?
114
00:03:49,387 --> 00:03:50,854
He cannot even see this color!
115
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They can sense the effort!
116
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[Doorbell rings]
117
00:03:55,994 --> 00:03:58,261
Welcome! Welcome. I'm Jay Pritchett.
118
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,430
- Hello.
- This is my wife, Gloria.
119
00:04:01,196 --> 00:04:02,999
Hello. Orson Funt.
120
00:04:03,101 --> 00:04:04,934
I'm sure everyone knows Arthur Goodboy.
121
00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:08,037
Who doesn't? And I must admit,
I'm a little starstruck.
122
00:04:08,139 --> 00:04:09,205
[Chuckles] Don't be.
123
00:04:09,307 --> 00:04:10,840
He puts on his sweaters
one leg at a time.
124
00:04:10,942 --> 00:04:12,842
[Laughter]
125
00:04:12,944 --> 00:04:15,044
And this is Stella of
Dog Beds by Stella,
126
00:04:15,146 --> 00:04:16,980
but I do most of the design.
127
00:04:18,183 --> 00:04:21,017
Well. She is beautiful
for a non-pro. May I?
128
00:04:21,119 --> 00:04:22,385
- Here you go.
- Yes.
129
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:23,486
- May I?
- Oh, yeah.
130
00:04:23,488 --> 00:04:24,988
Thank you. Oh, yes.
131
00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,856
Present! Present.
132
00:04:26,925 --> 00:04:29,492
Who's a lovely lady? [Giggles]
Who's a lovely lady?
133
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,527
Who's an elegant boy?
Who's an influencer?
134
00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:33,162
Ooh, you are! You are!
135
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,098
[Laughs] Who's an influencer? You are!
136
00:04:36,519 --> 00:04:37,710
You want to see the dog beds?
137
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,035
- Yes.
- Follow me.
138
00:04:40,138 --> 00:04:41,337
He's a good father.
139
00:04:41,439 --> 00:04:42,772
He's a good father.
140
00:04:48,745 --> 00:04:50,313
Sir...
141
00:04:50,382 --> 00:04:52,048
a dog in a pineapple? [Laughs]
142
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,694
- Love!
- I call that one "Puppy Colada."
143
00:04:55,894 --> 00:04:57,053
- Stop!
- Yes, stop.
144
00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:58,021
[Laughs]
145
00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:00,123
So, what do you say? Are we in business?
146
00:05:00,225 --> 00:05:02,392
[Laughing] Oh! Oh, down boy.
147
00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:04,027
I like to make sure that Arthur Goodboy
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00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:06,529
really loves the product
before we do any endorsements.
149
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:07,764
If we said yes to everything,
150
00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:09,432
then we're no better than
that whore Grumpy Cat.
151
00:05:09,501 --> 00:05:11,067
Here, try this one.
152
00:05:11,169 --> 00:05:13,136
Okay, Mr. Arthur Goodboy.
153
00:05:13,204 --> 00:05:15,204
Why don't you just trot
yourself right in there
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00:05:15,307 --> 00:05:16,372
and take a load off?
155
00:05:16,474 --> 00:05:18,074
- [Arthur whines]
- Hm.
156
00:05:18,176 --> 00:05:21,077
You know,
he just woke up from a nap, so...
157
00:05:21,146 --> 00:05:23,713
he will probably tucker
out in a couple of hours.
158
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,848
It's cool, 'cause
I have nowhere I need to be.
159
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,116
You don't say.
160
00:05:27,185 --> 00:05:28,217
Oh, it's spacious.
161
00:05:31,135 --> 00:05:32,555
- Haley?
- Over here!
162
00:05:32,657 --> 00:05:33,623
[Rustling]
163
00:05:33,692 --> 00:05:35,658
- Mom's not with you, right?
- No.
164
00:05:35,727 --> 00:05:36,626
What's going on?
165
00:05:36,695 --> 00:05:38,962
What could you have possibly done
that's worse than getting pregnant?
166
00:05:39,030 --> 00:05:40,763
Well, Dylan and I are eloping,
167
00:05:40,832 --> 00:05:42,532
and we want you to be the witness.
168
00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:44,634
[Gasps] Oh, my God! Yes!
169
00:05:44,736 --> 00:05:47,370
Oh, I can't even tell you how
special this makes me feel.
170
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,038
I will not tell anyone. I...
171
00:05:49,107 --> 00:05:51,007
Wait. Why eloping? Why not a wedding?
172
00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:53,843
- We just want it to be simple and quick.
- And no drama.
173
00:05:53,912 --> 00:05:55,511
- Guess that eliminates Mom.
- Yeah. [Chuckles]
174
00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:56,913
What eliminates Mom?
175
00:05:56,982 --> 00:05:58,414
Oh, um... [Chuckles nervously]
176
00:05:58,516 --> 00:06:00,750
You know, uh... You know, it...
it's so funny when...
177
00:06:00,852 --> 00:06:02,919
when people do such, um, funny...
178
00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:05,021
You know, the story is so short,
179
00:06:05,090 --> 00:06:06,322
- but it... it... it would be so long...
- Enough, enough.
180
00:06:06,391 --> 00:06:07,623
I cannot watch this.
181
00:06:07,692 --> 00:06:09,759
Aw. I felt like she was
building to something.
182
00:06:09,794 --> 00:06:13,830
Dylan and I are going to the
courthouse to get married.
183
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,667
- Wow.
- It's nothing personal, you know?
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00:06:17,769 --> 00:06:19,969
It's just... right now,
the last thing we want
185
00:06:20,071 --> 00:06:22,005
is it to turn into a big production.
186
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,874
Well, honey, if that's what you want,
187
00:06:24,976 --> 00:06:27,844
as your mother, obviously,
it's incredibly painful,
188
00:06:27,946 --> 00:06:30,079
but that... that's none of your concern.
189
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,749
I just hope you have a
wedding that's every bit
190
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,885
as wonderful and beautiful
as I always imagined.
191
00:06:35,987 --> 00:06:38,688
You know...
when I was gonna be part of it.
192
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:41,257
I knew she'd be cool.
193
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,291
- Yeah!
- Let's roll.
194
00:06:43,050 --> 00:06:44,160
Mom seemed pretty bummed about it,
195
00:06:44,262 --> 00:06:45,528
but, you know, this is what we want.
196
00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:46,629
Totally!
197
00:06:47,599 --> 00:06:48,765
- Damn it!
- [Sighs]
198
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,466
[Door opens]
199
00:06:50,568 --> 00:06:53,669
How could you do this to your mother?
200
00:06:55,235 --> 00:06:57,055
Ugh. What's taking them so long?
201
00:06:57,058 --> 00:06:59,658
I know. It's, like,
this wedding isn't about them.
202
00:06:59,726 --> 00:07:01,192
- [Ringtone plays]
- It's about you and Dylan and me!
203
00:07:01,294 --> 00:07:02,327
Phil: Coming!
204
00:07:02,329 --> 00:07:03,595
So sorry. [Laughs]
205
00:07:03,664 --> 00:07:04,829
Claire: And don't worry, Haley.
206
00:07:04,898 --> 00:07:08,700
I promise you will hardly
know we are there at all.
207
00:07:08,735 --> 00:07:10,001
What? You're dressed nicer than me.
208
00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:11,636
Well, I wasn't gonna say anything,
but are you sure
209
00:07:11,705 --> 00:07:13,238
that's the outfit you
want for your special day?
210
00:07:13,306 --> 00:07:15,740
It's Haley's wedding.
She can dress as bad as she wants.
211
00:07:15,842 --> 00:07:17,776
- Right.
- Who died?
212
00:07:17,878 --> 00:07:19,377
Haley and Dylan are getting married.
213
00:07:19,479 --> 00:07:20,612
Dressed like that?
214
00:07:20,647 --> 00:07:22,080
Now I have to invite Luke?
215
00:07:22,149 --> 00:07:23,381
Not if you don't want to.
216
00:07:23,483 --> 00:07:24,616
This feels great.
217
00:07:24,685 --> 00:07:27,252
Okay, that is it. Luke, but no one else.
218
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,421
Hey, so, my mom found out
your parents are coming,
219
00:07:29,489 --> 00:07:31,322
'cause I told her,
and now she's on her way.
220
00:07:31,425 --> 00:07:32,757
And Grandpa's coming.
221
00:07:32,826 --> 00:07:34,092
You guys are gonna love him.
222
00:07:34,161 --> 00:07:36,076
Oh, but if he asks you
to kill him, don't.
223
00:07:36,111 --> 00:07:37,662
- Ugh!
- I know what you're thinking.
224
00:07:37,731 --> 00:07:38,963
That is a lot of people
225
00:07:39,066 --> 00:07:41,232
for a small, impersonal
room at the courthouse,
226
00:07:41,334 --> 00:07:43,968
and we are on the same page.
227
00:07:44,037 --> 00:07:46,004
So... why don't we just do it here?
228
00:07:46,073 --> 00:07:48,707
I'm ordained.
I can perform the ceremony.
229
00:07:48,775 --> 00:07:50,341
That is such a great idea!
230
00:07:50,444 --> 00:07:52,277
That way, it's easy and intimate.
231
00:07:52,345 --> 00:07:53,611
I mean, that's what you wanted, right?
232
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,413
So, go down to the courthouse,
233
00:07:55,482 --> 00:07:57,615
get your marriage license,
come back here,
234
00:07:57,684 --> 00:07:59,384
and we'll all be waiting.
235
00:07:59,486 --> 00:08:01,119
Fine. But let's go now.
236
00:08:01,188 --> 00:08:02,721
I'm starving,
and they make a great soft pretzel
237
00:08:02,823 --> 00:08:03,922
at the courthouse snack shop.
238
00:08:03,924 --> 00:08:04,989
How do you know that?
239
00:08:05,092 --> 00:08:06,458
I can still elope.
240
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,625
[Quietly] Don't you ruin this for me.
241
00:08:07,627 --> 00:08:09,527
It's fine. It's fine.
242
00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:12,297
- Wait.
- [Door closes]
243
00:08:12,365 --> 00:08:13,765
If Dylan's bringing his grandfather,
244
00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:15,734
that means we have to invite
Dad and Gloria, right?
245
00:08:15,802 --> 00:08:17,035
I think so, yeah.
246
00:08:17,104 --> 00:08:18,803
But he probably won't show.
Jay hates last-minute plans.
247
00:08:18,839 --> 00:08:20,839
He'll be like, [As Jay] "Oh,
geez, why don't they just elope?"
248
00:08:20,941 --> 00:08:22,874
- Hm.
- Luke: Grandpa?
249
00:08:22,943 --> 00:08:25,076
[Footsteps departing]
250
00:08:25,145 --> 00:08:27,212
Who's a goody-woody boy?
251
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,047
Who's a sleepy boy?
252
00:08:29,149 --> 00:08:30,482
I never thought I'd say this,
253
00:08:30,584 --> 00:08:33,051
but I miss Jay's toxic masculinity.
254
00:08:33,153 --> 00:08:34,919
At least he's not your real father.
255
00:08:35,021 --> 00:08:35,987
[Telephone ringing]
256
00:08:36,056 --> 00:08:38,223
- I'll get it! I got it!
- I'll get it!
257
00:08:38,325 --> 00:08:39,224
[Telephone beeps]
258
00:08:39,292 --> 00:08:40,558
- Hello?
- Claire: Hey, Gloria.
259
00:08:40,627 --> 00:08:43,628
Haley and Dylan decided to
get married this afternoon,
260
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,830
and I know Dad's got that dog-bed thing,
261
00:08:45,899 --> 00:08:47,999
so absolutely no pressure.
262
00:08:48,068 --> 00:08:50,235
Yes. We will be there as soon as we can.
263
00:08:50,337 --> 00:08:53,004
- [Telephone beeps]
- Jay, I am so sorry to break up
264
00:08:53,073 --> 00:08:55,573
this really fun and super normal party,
265
00:08:55,642 --> 00:08:58,877
but Dylan and Haley decided
to get married right now,
266
00:08:58,945 --> 00:09:00,745
and Claire wants us there.
267
00:09:00,847 --> 00:09:02,514
Oh, geez, why don't they just elope?
268
00:09:02,582 --> 00:09:05,884
Actually, Arthur Goodboy loves weddings,
269
00:09:05,952 --> 00:09:08,186
and his followers have been
dying to see him in his new tux.
270
00:09:08,255 --> 00:09:10,421
I-I can bring a bed
in case he gets tired.
271
00:09:10,524 --> 00:09:12,791
- Ooh!
- [Arthur barks]
272
00:09:12,893 --> 00:09:15,093
Ooh, look. Somebody's got a crush.
273
00:09:15,162 --> 00:09:17,162
Would Miss Stella do us the honor
274
00:09:17,230 --> 00:09:19,230
of escorting Arthur
Goodboy to the wedding?!
275
00:09:19,332 --> 00:09:22,033
Gosh, yes! A thousand times yes!
276
00:09:23,069 --> 00:09:25,537
[Chuckling]
277
00:09:25,572 --> 00:09:27,806
Well. You're not gonna believe this.
They're coming.
278
00:09:27,908 --> 00:09:29,040
Well, if they're coming, does that mean
279
00:09:29,142 --> 00:09:30,241
we need to invite Mitch and Cam?
280
00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:32,510
Ooh. Imagine the drama if we didn't.
281
00:09:32,612 --> 00:09:33,845
♪ Who should I choose? ♪
282
00:09:33,947 --> 00:09:35,513
♪ Either way, I lose ♪
283
00:09:35,615 --> 00:09:36,815
♪ I stare at the gun ♪
284
00:09:36,917 --> 00:09:38,683
♪ Is it daughter, is it son? ♪
285
00:09:38,785 --> 00:09:39,818
♪ Choices ♪
286
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,052
- ♪ Impossible choices ♪
- ♪ Choices ♪
287
00:09:41,087 --> 00:09:42,453
- ♪ Impossible choices ♪
- ♪ Impossible ♪
288
00:09:42,556 --> 00:09:43,822
Both: ♪ Choices ♪
289
00:09:43,890 --> 00:09:45,909
This is why I can't have friends over.
290
00:09:46,109 --> 00:09:47,258
- Okay.
- Somebody just snarked her way
291
00:09:47,327 --> 00:09:49,394
- out of a "Sophie's Choice" hoodie!
- That's right.
292
00:09:49,462 --> 00:09:50,762
[Cellphone rings]
293
00:09:50,864 --> 00:09:52,230
- [Cellphone beeps]
- Hey, Claire. What's up?
294
00:09:52,299 --> 00:09:54,732
So, Haley and Dylan
decided to get married,
295
00:09:54,835 --> 00:09:56,401
and they'd be devastated
if you weren't there.
296
00:09:56,469 --> 00:09:58,336
Oh, of course!
We wouldn't miss it for the world!
297
00:09:58,405 --> 00:10:00,805
- Just tell us when.
- In about an hour.
298
00:10:00,907 --> 00:10:02,640
Oh, my... Um... Hey, uh, let...
299
00:10:02,709 --> 00:10:04,442
- let me call you right back, okay?
- [Cellphone beeps]
300
00:10:04,511 --> 00:10:05,610
Are you kidding me?!
301
00:10:05,645 --> 00:10:07,345
I know! What do we do...
a musical or the wedding?
302
00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:10,181
It's the cruelest decision
anyone's ever been forced to make.
303
00:10:11,618 --> 00:10:12,717
[Door opens]
304
00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:14,752
Hello? We are here!
305
00:10:14,855 --> 00:10:16,020
Hi.
306
00:10:16,089 --> 00:10:17,222
Hi! Wow!
307
00:10:17,290 --> 00:10:18,623
What is all this?
308
00:10:18,725 --> 00:10:19,757
[Chuckling] Hey, Claire.
309
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:21,025
This is Orson
310
00:10:21,094 --> 00:10:23,261
and, of course, Arthur Goodboy.
311
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:25,063
Thanks for having us. We love love.
312
00:10:25,065 --> 00:10:26,097
Mm-hmm.
313
00:10:26,166 --> 00:10:27,599
Dad, can you come over here a second?
314
00:10:27,701 --> 00:10:29,033
Um... Hey, Stella.
315
00:10:29,102 --> 00:10:30,969
So, listen, I don't think Haley
316
00:10:31,071 --> 00:10:33,605
wants to come back to a house
full of strangers and dogs.
317
00:10:33,707 --> 00:10:34,772
Claire, I've got to have this,
318
00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:36,341
and she's never gonna
know they're even here.
319
00:10:36,376 --> 00:10:38,309
- [Doorbell rings]
- [Dogs barking]
320
00:10:38,411 --> 00:10:39,777
Okay, that's bad timing.
321
00:10:39,846 --> 00:10:41,279
Okay, okay, let's...
let's go, let's go, let's go.
322
00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:42,447
- Let's go.
- Let's get it going.
323
00:10:42,449 --> 00:10:44,449
What's your hurry? I thought you...
324
00:10:44,517 --> 00:10:45,617
guys love weddings.
325
00:10:45,685 --> 00:10:47,418
You were gonna say "you people,"
weren't you?
326
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,520
- Prove it.
- We have theater tickets,
327
00:10:49,623 --> 00:10:50,755
and if we get this wedding started,
328
00:10:50,857 --> 00:10:52,190
we can still make curtain
for "Sophie's Choice."
329
00:10:52,225 --> 00:10:54,092
[Gasps] I would murder my entire family
330
00:10:54,194 --> 00:10:55,660
and all of their friends
to see that musical.
331
00:10:55,762 --> 00:10:57,061
This guy gets it.
332
00:10:57,163 --> 00:10:59,430
Hey-oh! Look who's here!
333
00:10:59,532 --> 00:11:01,833
Don't worry. I'm wearing pants.
334
00:11:01,902 --> 00:11:03,434
As far as you know.
335
00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:05,103
Oh, well, hello, Frank.
336
00:11:05,205 --> 00:11:07,472
And thank you for... sort of making it.
337
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,707
- [Whispering] Really?
- Well, you invited your dad.
338
00:11:09,776 --> 00:11:11,409
- What was I supposed to do?
- I don't know.
339
00:11:11,478 --> 00:11:13,244
- [Doorbell rings]
- Hey! Is that Arthur Goodboy?
340
00:11:13,346 --> 00:11:14,445
Big fan!
341
00:11:14,514 --> 00:11:16,214
Been waiting to see him in his tux.
342
00:11:16,316 --> 00:11:17,548
- [Door opens]
- Farrah.
343
00:11:17,651 --> 00:11:19,517
- Phil.
- It is so delightful to see...
344
00:11:19,552 --> 00:11:20,785
Mm. Okay. [Laughs nervously]
345
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,253
[Dog barks]
346
00:11:22,355 --> 00:11:23,955
Oh. Gosh.
347
00:11:24,024 --> 00:11:25,523
Can you believe our babies
are getting married?
348
00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:29,027
I can. I saw it in a vision
at a campfire in Peru.
349
00:11:29,129 --> 00:11:30,695
- [Whirring]
- This is my father, Bert.
350
00:11:30,764 --> 00:11:32,030
Oh, it's such an honor to...
351
00:11:32,098 --> 00:11:33,765
- Vodka!
- Oh.
352
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,333
[Dog growls, barks]
353
00:11:35,435 --> 00:11:36,534
What a lovely dress.
354
00:11:36,603 --> 00:11:38,303
It's actually a shamanic wedding robe
355
00:11:38,405 --> 00:11:39,470
from South America.
356
00:11:39,539 --> 00:11:41,839
I wear it at every ceremony I officiate.
357
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,207
Ohhh. This is awkward.
358
00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:44,408
Um...
359
00:11:44,858 --> 00:11:46,077
I'm doing the ceremony.
360
00:11:46,179 --> 00:11:49,113
But this is something I've
dreamed about all of my lives.
361
00:11:49,215 --> 00:11:50,982
Mom, what the hell is going on?
362
00:11:51,084 --> 00:11:52,317
Together: Hey!
363
00:11:52,419 --> 00:11:54,252
[Cheering]
364
00:11:54,354 --> 00:11:55,954
Oh, honey, honey,
it's not as bad as it looks.
365
00:11:56,056 --> 00:11:58,389
See, it's still small and simple and...
366
00:11:58,458 --> 00:11:59,691
[Instruments playing]
367
00:11:59,793 --> 00:12:00,892
Not helping.
368
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:03,294
What? We were gonna
play her down the aisle.
369
00:12:03,363 --> 00:12:05,697
Yeah. Bad luck to get married
without bagpipes.
370
00:12:05,799 --> 00:12:08,066
My mom's first wedding... no bagpipes.
371
00:12:08,168 --> 00:12:10,868
My mom's second wedding... bagpipes.
372
00:12:10,937 --> 00:12:13,271
Six months later, she's still married.
373
00:12:13,373 --> 00:12:14,839
I mean, that's just science.
374
00:12:14,941 --> 00:12:16,140
- [Doorbell ringing]
- Now what?
375
00:12:16,242 --> 00:12:17,809
- [Dog barks]
- Oh, well, we needed food, so...
376
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,310
Hola, lovebirds.
377
00:12:19,412 --> 00:12:20,745
Oh, this is a disaster.
378
00:12:20,847 --> 00:12:23,982
I know, but we can't
pick our childhood homes.
379
00:12:24,084 --> 00:12:25,750
Don't worry. I can fix everything.
380
00:12:25,852 --> 00:12:27,585
Just take your time
changing your clothes.
381
00:12:27,587 --> 00:12:28,686
Oh, this is what I'm wearing.
382
00:12:28,688 --> 00:12:30,288
[Laughs] You're hilarious.
383
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:34,292
Let me see the happy couple.
384
00:12:34,394 --> 00:12:36,160
Congratulations, Haley.
385
00:12:36,262 --> 00:12:38,363
Congratulations, Andy.
386
00:12:38,465 --> 00:12:39,697
[Bagpipes play]
387
00:12:39,799 --> 00:12:41,366
[Dog barks]
388
00:12:43,844 --> 00:12:45,736
- [Dog panting]
- Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through.
389
00:12:45,805 --> 00:12:48,505
- Sorry.
- Honey, I know you're a little annoyed.
390
00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:50,074
Oh, I'm so sorry
I gave you that impression.
391
00:12:50,142 --> 00:12:51,375
I'm a lot annoyed.
392
00:12:51,477 --> 00:12:52,710
But it's better.
393
00:12:52,745 --> 00:12:55,846
This way, you'll be surrounded
by people who love you.
394
00:12:55,948 --> 00:12:56,980
That's her.
395
00:12:57,049 --> 00:13:01,085
- Congratulations! I am so happy for you.
- Luke?
396
00:13:01,187 --> 00:13:03,120
- Uh, this is Annabelle.
- We just met on Tinder.
397
00:13:03,189 --> 00:13:04,588
But we haven't done anything yet.
398
00:13:05,173 --> 00:13:07,558
Guess what, babies.
You're gonna taste some wine today!
399
00:13:07,626 --> 00:13:08,692
Hey, hey, hey.
400
00:13:08,761 --> 00:13:09,860
So, if we're gonna
get this thing started,
401
00:13:09,929 --> 00:13:11,128
maybe you should go up and change, huh?
402
00:13:11,197 --> 00:13:12,296
Oh, for the last time,
this is what I'm...
403
00:13:12,365 --> 00:13:13,564
Screw it. I'm changing.
404
00:13:13,632 --> 00:13:14,898
- No, don't... I'm...
- No, don't change, if that's...
405
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,834
- Damn it! What...
- Sorry. I'm sorry.
406
00:13:16,936 --> 00:13:18,235
Gloria, Gloria.
407
00:13:18,304 --> 00:13:19,370
Do me a favor.
408
00:13:19,438 --> 00:13:21,271
Put some salami in my TV.
409
00:13:21,340 --> 00:13:23,374
Whatever that is a code for,
the answer is no.
410
00:13:23,442 --> 00:13:24,875
Okay, fine. I'll do it myself.
411
00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:27,311
Keep Orson occupied for about a minute.
412
00:13:27,346 --> 00:13:28,479
Arthur Goodboy, come.
413
00:13:28,647 --> 00:13:30,314
Arthur Goodboy, come.
414
00:13:30,416 --> 00:13:31,849
Mr. Orson.
415
00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:36,286
Um, I need to know...
is your whole life your dog?
416
00:13:36,355 --> 00:13:38,956
Oh, no.
I also dabble in stand-up comedy.
417
00:13:38,991 --> 00:13:41,458
In fact, I used to try out all
of my material on Arthur Goodboy
418
00:13:41,527 --> 00:13:43,527
until I got in trouble with
PETA for animal testing.
419
00:13:43,596 --> 00:13:45,295
- [Laughs]
- [Chuckles]
420
00:13:45,398 --> 00:13:47,498
- Ay!
- Speaking of, where is Arthur?
421
00:13:47,566 --> 00:13:49,833
- I'm sure he's fine.
- Arthur? Arthur?
422
00:13:49,902 --> 00:13:53,070
He's in the family room,
wolfing down some cold cuts.
423
00:13:53,172 --> 00:13:54,838
No, no, no. He can't digest that.
424
00:13:54,874 --> 00:13:56,206
And that tuxedo is rented.
425
00:13:56,275 --> 00:13:58,542
- [Groans]
- No, please! Wait!
426
00:14:00,346 --> 00:14:02,379
- Orson: Aah! Stop!
- Stop? What, no!
427
00:14:02,481 --> 00:14:04,748
He's enjoying the bed.
No, he loves it in there.
428
00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:06,049
Don't.
429
00:14:06,152 --> 00:14:07,484
The robot told me everything.
430
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,186
- Oh, I'm sorry, but I thought once he got...
- Stop! Unh!
431
00:14:09,255 --> 00:14:10,721
I will stay for the wedding
432
00:14:10,756 --> 00:14:13,090
so as not to ruin Halsey
and Derek's special day,
433
00:14:13,159 --> 00:14:15,225
but this partnership is off.
434
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:18,562
What am I doing?
435
00:14:18,631 --> 00:14:20,164
Making a fool of yourself...
436
00:14:20,266 --> 00:14:22,633
what you have done the whole day.
437
00:14:22,668 --> 00:14:24,401
Yeah. I'm acting like an idiot.
438
00:14:24,503 --> 00:14:26,136
I mean, this was a stupid idea,
439
00:14:26,172 --> 00:14:28,372
trying to launch a whole
new business at my age.
440
00:14:28,474 --> 00:14:29,773
I thought it would be fun,
441
00:14:29,842 --> 00:14:32,776
but I should've known
I-I need to hang it up.
442
00:14:32,878 --> 00:14:34,545
I need a second.
443
00:14:35,548 --> 00:14:37,881
Gloria: Dog beds are ridiculous and sad.
444
00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:39,683
But they're important to Jay.
445
00:14:39,752 --> 00:14:42,519
So I guess that loving someone
means that you have to respect
446
00:14:42,621 --> 00:14:45,489
their idiotic, nauseating dreams.
447
00:14:45,558 --> 00:14:47,157
Hey, old-timer.
448
00:14:47,259 --> 00:14:48,525
I dig those wheels.
449
00:14:48,594 --> 00:14:51,795
Why is this vacuum
cleaner talking to me?!
450
00:14:51,897 --> 00:14:53,464
Okay,
we are definitely cutting it close,
451
00:14:53,532 --> 00:14:54,598
but I think we're gonna make it.
452
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:56,567
You know, it's just that,
uh, traditionally,
453
00:14:56,602 --> 00:14:58,502
the father of the bride calls
the shots at these things.
454
00:14:58,571 --> 00:14:59,937
- [Instruments tuning]
- Oh, my goddess, Phil.
455
00:14:59,972 --> 00:15:02,639
By all means,
let's return to traditional weddings.
456
00:15:02,675 --> 00:15:05,275
Perhaps you'd like to discuss
the matter of Haley's dowry.
457
00:15:05,311 --> 00:15:07,511
Are you prepared to
offer livestock or land?
458
00:15:07,580 --> 00:15:08,879
Farrah, I would defer to you
459
00:15:08,948 --> 00:15:10,514
if this were happening in your yurt.
460
00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:11,615
Fine.
461
00:15:11,684 --> 00:15:13,617
We'll settle this over a game of acorns.
462
00:15:13,719 --> 00:15:15,018
[Rattling]
463
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,920
Put out your hands.
464
00:15:17,022 --> 00:15:18,856
Acorns, speak.
465
00:15:19,959 --> 00:15:22,082
Oh. Sorry, Phil.
466
00:15:22,117 --> 00:15:23,393
Best of 3. What am I doing?
467
00:15:23,462 --> 00:15:25,195
Okay, both of you, stop!
468
00:15:25,297 --> 00:15:26,697
You can both officiate, all right?
469
00:15:26,799 --> 00:15:28,465
Yeah, but won't that take twice as long?
470
00:15:28,534 --> 00:15:30,767
Uh, whoever's officiating,
if you can carve out some time
471
00:15:30,803 --> 00:15:31,869
for a poem I've written.
472
00:15:31,937 --> 00:15:33,871
It's sort of a "Beowulf"
meets "You've Got Mail."
473
00:15:33,873 --> 00:15:34,905
- Oh, God, no! No poems!
- No!
474
00:15:34,974 --> 00:15:36,240
- Nobody wants a poem!
- No one wants that!
475
00:15:36,342 --> 00:15:38,141
- Come on! Let's move this thing along!
- Get it going!
476
00:15:38,177 --> 00:15:39,810
[Whispering] You need to give your
"Sophie's Choice" ticket
477
00:15:39,912 --> 00:15:41,278
to the dog weirdo.
478
00:15:41,347 --> 00:15:42,980
My dad wants to see a musical?
479
00:15:43,048 --> 00:15:44,648
No, the other dog weirdo.
480
00:15:44,683 --> 00:15:47,351
Didn't you see how excited he
got when he heard about it?
481
00:15:47,386 --> 00:15:49,086
Yeah, well, that's not happening.
No, thank you.
482
00:15:49,154 --> 00:15:50,988
Think about all the sacrifices
483
00:15:51,090 --> 00:15:53,090
that your father has made for you.
484
00:15:53,192 --> 00:15:55,726
- Oh, I just don't care.
- You're not gonna make it anyways.
485
00:15:55,794 --> 00:15:57,895
Y-Yes, we are,
'cause the wedding's about to start.
486
00:15:57,963 --> 00:15:59,596
- Here they come.
- Is it?
487
00:15:59,698 --> 00:16:00,898
Excuse me.
488
00:16:00,966 --> 00:16:03,901
Um, before we start
this beautiful ceremony,
489
00:16:03,969 --> 00:16:06,270
why don't we go around the room
490
00:16:06,338 --> 00:16:09,106
and talk about what this
wedding means to us?
491
00:16:09,174 --> 00:16:10,841
Yeah, I don't think anybody
wants to be put on the spot.
492
00:16:10,910 --> 00:16:12,109
Let's just get on with the wedding.
493
00:16:12,144 --> 00:16:15,078
To me, a marriage is not just
the joining of two hearts.
494
00:16:15,147 --> 00:16:17,114
It's the melding of families.
495
00:16:17,182 --> 00:16:18,415
And can I just say this...
496
00:16:18,484 --> 00:16:19,850
- No! Sit down!
- No! Sit down!
497
00:16:19,919 --> 00:16:22,686
[Bagpipes and cello play]
498
00:16:22,755 --> 00:16:23,787
Hey.
499
00:16:25,057 --> 00:16:26,857
Go on, go on. There you go.
500
00:16:26,926 --> 00:16:29,159
Are those... packing peanuts?
501
00:16:29,261 --> 00:16:30,961
I had 10 minutes and no budget.
502
00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:32,796
- This is happening.
- Yep.
503
00:16:32,831 --> 00:16:35,198
- [Dogs barking, whimpering]
- What's this dog doing to Stella?
504
00:16:35,267 --> 00:16:36,767
Bad dog! No humping!
505
00:16:36,869 --> 00:16:38,068
Don't shame him! That's her fault.
506
00:16:38,170 --> 00:16:39,436
She's wagging her hips in his face!
507
00:16:39,538 --> 00:16:40,570
That's her dysplasia.
508
00:16:40,573 --> 00:16:41,705
And it's 2019.
509
00:16:41,807 --> 00:16:43,040
What he did is not okay!
510
00:16:43,142 --> 00:16:45,309
Uh-oh. Am I moving?
511
00:16:45,411 --> 00:16:46,810
Something's stuck!
512
00:16:46,912 --> 00:16:48,211
[Indistinct shouting]
513
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,846
- Phil, I'm falling!
- See, this... this...
514
00:16:49,915 --> 00:16:51,615
this is why I didn't want anyone here!
515
00:16:51,684 --> 00:16:53,517
This is why I wanted to elope!
516
00:16:53,586 --> 00:16:56,453
Haley, I know you're upset,
but this is your family.
517
00:16:56,555 --> 00:16:57,588
Who are you?!
518
00:16:57,690 --> 00:16:59,122
Okay, enough! Enough.
519
00:16:59,191 --> 00:17:00,857
Dylan, Haley, in the kitchen... now!
520
00:17:00,926 --> 00:17:03,694
- Nice shoes!
- I am, uh, so sorry, folks.
521
00:17:03,762 --> 00:17:05,262
This is...
This is gonna take a little while.
522
00:17:05,364 --> 00:17:07,631
Maybe Alex and Bill can play something.
523
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:08,765
- No! No!
- No! No!
524
00:17:08,834 --> 00:17:10,133
- We're not gonna make it, are we?
- Okay, no.
525
00:17:10,235 --> 00:17:12,402
- We're not gonna make it!
- It... It doesn't look like it.
526
00:17:12,404 --> 00:17:13,503
- Hey, um...
- [Dog barking]
527
00:17:13,572 --> 00:17:16,139
Hi. My dad wanted you
to have these tickets.
528
00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:18,241
[Gasps] Great Danes! Thank you!
529
00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:20,911
Not so fast. You still
have something to do.
530
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:24,093
Listen. Listen to me.
531
00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,182
I don't want to hear it, Mom.
532
00:17:26,018 --> 00:17:26,950
Run.
533
00:17:26,952 --> 00:17:28,452
- What?!
- Yeah.
534
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,854
We're really sorry that
this all got away from us.
535
00:17:30,923 --> 00:17:33,824
But all we care about
is that you're happy.
536
00:17:33,892 --> 00:17:36,727
And you should have
the wedding you want.
537
00:17:37,533 --> 00:17:39,363
Your mom's right.
538
00:17:40,021 --> 00:17:41,198
We eloped, and I still think of it
539
00:17:41,266 --> 00:17:43,667
as one of the best days of my life.
540
00:17:43,736 --> 00:17:45,569
It still seems like the
last day we were alone.
541
00:17:45,638 --> 00:17:47,738
- [Phil chuckles]
- Wow.
542
00:17:47,806 --> 00:17:50,474
- That's...
- Oh, honey.
543
00:17:50,542 --> 00:17:52,042
The four of you better get going, huh?
544
00:17:52,144 --> 00:17:53,176
Yeah.
545
00:17:53,278 --> 00:17:54,478
Ohh, my babies.
546
00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:56,313
- I love you, guys.
- Love you, guys.
547
00:17:56,382 --> 00:17:58,215
Bye. Bye.
548
00:17:59,451 --> 00:18:01,551
- [Door opens, closes]
- [Sighs]
549
00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:04,655
- You okay?
- Not really, no.
550
00:18:04,723 --> 00:18:06,623
I hate that we're not gonna be there.
551
00:18:06,692 --> 00:18:09,660
I always assumed we
would be at her wedding.
552
00:18:09,728 --> 00:18:10,994
Is that selfish?
553
00:18:11,096 --> 00:18:12,996
- No.
- [Sighs deeply]
554
00:18:13,098 --> 00:18:14,665
It's only fair.
555
00:18:15,768 --> 00:18:16,800
She was at ours.
556
00:18:16,802 --> 00:18:18,835
Mm. She was.
557
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:22,906
Look at this.
558
00:18:23,008 --> 00:18:25,876
He posted one minute ago.
It's already got 5,000 likes.
559
00:18:25,944 --> 00:18:28,979
- Thank you.
- I love you.
560
00:18:29,048 --> 00:18:32,649
And the only thing less sexy
than a dog bed is a quitter,
561
00:18:32,718 --> 00:18:34,117
and I didn't marry a quitter.
562
00:18:34,219 --> 00:18:36,486
- I married an angel.
- Yes, you did!
563
00:18:36,555 --> 00:18:38,922
Could I have everyone's attention? Um...
564
00:18:38,991 --> 00:18:40,824
I just want to say that most of you
565
00:18:40,893 --> 00:18:42,392
are very important to us.
566
00:18:42,461 --> 00:18:44,194
But the wedding's off,
and thanks for coming.
567
00:18:44,296 --> 00:18:45,595
- What?!
- You got to be kidding me!
568
00:18:45,631 --> 00:18:47,497
This is an outrage.
I will never forgive you.
569
00:18:47,566 --> 00:18:49,266
Perhaps the two of you
would like to sing a song?
570
00:18:49,368 --> 00:18:50,701
♪ Choices, impossible ♪
571
00:18:50,803 --> 00:18:51,902
- ♪ Choices ♪
- ♪ Choices, impossible ♪
572
00:18:52,004 --> 00:18:52,969
- ♪ Choices ♪
- ♪ Why are there so many ♪
573
00:18:52,971 --> 00:18:54,504
Both: ♪ Voices ♪
574
00:18:54,606 --> 00:18:56,840
♪ Choices and voices and voices ♪
575
00:18:56,875 --> 00:18:58,075
[Crickets chirping]
576
00:18:58,143 --> 00:18:59,176
[Door opens]
577
00:18:59,278 --> 00:19:00,844
Mom? Dad?
578
00:19:00,946 --> 00:19:03,647
- Oh, honey.
- Hey.
579
00:19:03,716 --> 00:19:04,915
Hey. How did it go?
580
00:19:05,348 --> 00:19:08,288
Uh, we... didn't go through with it.
581
00:19:08,323 --> 00:19:10,687
- What?
- We were at this 24-hour chapel,
582
00:19:10,789 --> 00:19:13,023
and they called our names, but...
583
00:19:13,092 --> 00:19:15,125
something about it
just didn't feel right.
584
00:19:15,786 --> 00:19:17,694
Sweetheart, it's okay.
585
00:19:17,796 --> 00:19:19,563
You'll know when it's the right time.
586
00:19:19,631 --> 00:19:20,697
Mm-hmm.
587
00:19:20,699 --> 00:19:22,799
That's why I'm here.
588
00:19:23,769 --> 00:19:25,736
I thought about what you said
589
00:19:25,804 --> 00:19:28,038
about how I should have
the wedding that I want.
590
00:19:28,073 --> 00:19:29,206
Mm-hmm.
591
00:19:29,308 --> 00:19:32,442
Well, the wedding that I
want has you guys there.
592
00:19:35,547 --> 00:19:37,948
♪
593
00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:40,884
And, like the nuptial antler,
594
00:19:40,986 --> 00:19:43,153
your bond will never be broken.
595
00:19:44,823 --> 00:19:46,223
Take us home, Phil.
596
00:19:49,495 --> 00:19:54,931
And so, by the powers vested
in me by NoPainOrdain.com,
597
00:19:56,021 --> 00:19:58,101
I pronounce you, Dylan...
598
00:19:58,203 --> 00:20:00,070
and you, Haley...
599
00:20:01,006 --> 00:20:03,073
husband...
600
00:20:03,175 --> 00:20:04,374
[Chuckles]
601
00:20:04,476 --> 00:20:05,508
...and wife.
602
00:20:05,511 --> 00:20:07,144
[Chuckles]
603
00:20:07,279 --> 00:20:10,147
Hey! Kiss her already!
604
00:20:10,249 --> 00:20:12,249
Oh, my God.
605
00:20:12,351 --> 00:20:13,717
[Chuckles]
606
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,145
- You wanted to talk to me?
- Yeah. Um...
607
00:20:18,178 --> 00:20:19,646
It's been bothering me the last few days
608
00:20:19,679 --> 00:20:21,481
that since they were gonna elope,
Dylan never came to me
609
00:20:21,515 --> 00:20:22,716
and asked for Haley's hand in marriage.
610
00:20:22,749 --> 00:20:23,984
Yeah.
611
00:20:24,018 --> 00:20:25,052
Well, then it occurred to me that,
612
00:20:25,085 --> 00:20:26,653
since Claire and I eloped,
613
00:20:26,686 --> 00:20:30,557
I never officially asked you
for her hand in marriage.
614
00:20:30,590 --> 00:20:32,559
- So, uh...
- So ask me.
615
00:20:32,713 --> 00:20:33,760
Okay.
616
00:20:34,264 --> 00:20:35,362
Jay...
617
00:20:35,595 --> 00:20:37,564
I love your daughter very much,
and I would like your...
618
00:20:37,597 --> 00:20:38,932
Nope.
619
00:20:38,965 --> 00:20:40,233
[Laughs]
620
00:20:40,266 --> 00:20:41,768
That's very funny. Um...
621
00:20:41,801 --> 00:20:44,070
But seriously,
I would very much like your blessing...
622
00:20:44,103 --> 00:20:45,939
Sorry. I've got several concerns.
623
00:20:45,972 --> 00:20:46,973
I'm not on board.
624
00:20:47,006 --> 00:20:49,108
You realize this is just a-a formality.
625
00:20:49,142 --> 00:20:50,410
We've been married for almost 25 years.
626
00:20:50,444 --> 00:20:52,979
And the entire time,
without my blessing.
627
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,749
- Okay, how many dog beds is this gonna cost me?
- Five.
628
00:20:55,782 --> 00:20:56,750
- Three.
- Four.
629
00:20:56,783 --> 00:20:57,951
- Done.
- Blessed!
630
00:21:01,465 --> 00:21:03,513
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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