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1
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Rebecca: Previously on
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
2
00:00:03,558 --> 00:00:04,557
Do you love her?
3
00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,059
No. God, no.
4
00:00:07,061 --> 00:00:09,362
Josh, focus on your
girlfriend and on your family.
5
00:00:09,586 --> 00:00:10,384
Are you kicking me out?
6
00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:11,686
Bye, Josh.
7
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Paula: If we're not chasing Josh,
8
00:00:13,223 --> 00:00:14,922
then you're not gonna want to hang out
9
00:00:14,924 --> 00:00:16,090
with me anymore, I know it.
10
00:00:16,092 --> 00:00:17,124
Rebecca: This isn't about
11
00:00:17,126 --> 00:00:18,259
anyone else but you.
12
00:00:18,261 --> 00:00:19,527
You're not second choice.
13
00:00:19,529 --> 00:00:21,162
This is gonna be, like, three days
14
00:00:21,164 --> 00:00:23,264
of you and me just ruining each other.
15
00:00:26,531 --> 00:00:29,791
_
16
00:00:29,816 --> 00:00:32,050
♪ ♪
17
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,671
"Gaseity"?
18
00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:36,179
What? That's not a word.
19
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,745
Incorrect. It is a word.
20
00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:40,114
It is the state or condition
of being gassy or gaseous,
21
00:00:40,116 --> 00:00:43,109
and, most importantly,
it is 35 points for moi.
22
00:00:44,988 --> 00:00:46,153
I think you're cheating.
23
00:00:46,867 --> 00:00:48,021
Yep. Yeah, you're cheating.
Give me your phone.
24
00:00:48,046 --> 00:00:49,401
- How could I be cheating?
- Nope.
25
00:00:49,403 --> 00:00:51,036
- I'm sitting right next to you...
- Hey! Hey! Give me your phone.
26
00:00:51,038 --> 00:00:52,638
- Give me your phone, let me see
what you're doing. - Hey, hey!
27
00:00:52,663 --> 00:00:54,382
- I'm just curious how you're
doing this. - Give me that.
28
00:00:55,258 --> 00:00:56,257
Hello again.
29
00:00:56,282 --> 00:00:57,615
Oh, hello.
30
00:00:58,352 --> 00:00:59,460
Shall we?
31
00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:02,311
Okay.
32
00:01:02,336 --> 00:01:04,036
(Giggles)
33
00:01:09,001 --> 00:01:11,201
(Breathing deeply)
34
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Ugh. I gotta go to work.
35
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No! No...
36
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Boo work and life
37
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and clothing.
38
00:01:25,780 --> 00:01:27,947
I don't want to leave the sex cocoon.
39
00:01:27,972 --> 00:01:30,772
So, I will, uh, call you later,
40
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or text you,
41
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and, uh, see if you want to
play any, uh, "word games,"
42
00:01:35,659 --> 00:01:37,092
if you know what I'm saying.
43
00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:39,015
Hey, actually, um...
44
00:01:39,263 --> 00:01:41,630
We should... we should
probably talk for a second.
45
00:01:41,632 --> 00:01:43,699
You probably want to
talk about, you know,
46
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all these changes and how
our relationship is evolving,
47
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'cause we had such a complex history...
48
00:01:50,307 --> 00:01:52,708
Oh, you mean because you, like,
broke my heart a bunch of times?
49
00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:54,937
I don't care about that anymore.
50
00:01:56,747 --> 00:01:57,640
But... what?
51
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But... no, no. But... you know.
52
00:01:59,515 --> 00:02:00,582
We have so much drama
53
00:02:00,584 --> 00:02:01,990
and you've asked me out so many times
54
00:02:02,015 --> 00:02:03,562
and you... you ran to the courthouse.
55
00:02:03,587 --> 00:02:05,753
Honestly, it's like a distant memory.
56
00:02:06,989 --> 00:02:08,188
Okay.
57
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,625
So you-you...
58
00:02:10,627 --> 00:02:12,194
You just want to keep things casual?
59
00:02:12,196 --> 00:02:14,460
Yep. Just light and polite.
60
00:02:14,645 --> 00:02:18,234
Except in the bedroom... you dig?
61
00:02:18,969 --> 00:02:20,836
I dig. Yeah.
62
00:02:23,156 --> 00:02:24,706
You're so pretty.
63
00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:26,074
It's so cool that I get to
64
00:02:26,076 --> 00:02:28,910
say that to you now that I'm
not all obsessed, you know?
65
00:02:29,318 --> 00:02:30,851
It's great, isn't it?
66
00:02:32,449 --> 00:02:33,548
Yep.
67
00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:35,450
It's... yeah, oh, phee-ew.
68
00:02:35,452 --> 00:02:37,085
It's great.
69
00:02:37,087 --> 00:02:38,187
Yeah.
70
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Peace.
71
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Peace.
72
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(Door opens)
73
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- Peace?
- (Door closes)
74
00:02:47,039 --> 00:02:49,698
♪ I was working hard
at a New York job ♪
75
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♪ making dough but it made me blue ♪
76
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♪ one day I was crying a lot ♪
77
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♪ and so I decided to move ♪
78
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♪ to west Covina, California ♪
79
00:02:56,206 --> 00:02:57,472
♪ brand-new pals and new career ♪
80
00:02:57,474 --> 00:02:59,841
♪ it happens to be
where Josh lives ♪
81
00:02:59,843 --> 00:03:02,277
♪ but that's not why I'm here ♪
82
00:03:02,279 --> 00:03:04,413
- ♪ She's the crazy ex-girlfriend ♪
- What? No, I'm not.
83
00:03:04,415 --> 00:03:06,148
♪ She's the crazy ex-girlfriend ♪
84
00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:07,416
That's a sexist term.
85
00:03:07,418 --> 00:03:08,717
♪ She's the crazy ex-girlfriend ♪
86
00:03:08,719 --> 00:03:10,085
Can you guys stop
singing for just a second?
87
00:03:10,087 --> 00:03:12,654
♪ She's so broken inside ♪
88
00:03:12,656 --> 00:03:14,122
The situation's a lot
more nuanced than that.
89
00:03:14,124 --> 00:03:16,258
♪ C-R-A-Z-Y ♪
90
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:17,526
Okay! We get it!
91
00:03:17,528 --> 00:03:20,340
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
92
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♪ ♪
93
00:03:28,539 --> 00:03:29,704
What is up with you?
94
00:03:29,706 --> 00:03:31,239
You got a bit of a glow about you.
95
00:03:31,241 --> 00:03:33,075
Not a sweaty glow,
but, like, a glowy glow.
96
00:03:33,077 --> 00:03:35,477
(Gasps) Is this because you talked to...
97
00:03:35,479 --> 00:03:36,500
No, no, no. Don't say his name.
98
00:03:36,525 --> 00:03:38,046
- Josh?
- No.
99
00:03:38,071 --> 00:03:39,196
I did not talk to Josh,
100
00:03:39,221 --> 00:03:40,148
because Josh is done.
101
00:03:40,241 --> 00:03:41,274
We are done with Josh.
102
00:03:41,299 --> 00:03:42,380
- Okay?
- Right.
103
00:03:42,405 --> 00:03:43,869
Let's talk about something else.
104
00:03:51,202 --> 00:03:52,516
How was your weekend?
105
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Stupid.
106
00:03:53,309 --> 00:03:54,141
Come on, Paula.
107
00:03:54,143 --> 00:03:56,076
I need you to try, okay?
108
00:03:56,533 --> 00:03:58,879
It got chilly. Right?
109
00:03:58,881 --> 00:04:01,041
I had to take my sweaters
out of the space bag.
110
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,228
Oh, my God, this is so boring!
111
00:04:03,253 --> 00:04:04,184
Come on.
112
00:04:04,186 --> 00:04:05,819
This is an apocalypse.
113
00:04:06,889 --> 00:04:10,023
Do I smell Paula's famous
blueberry almond pie?
114
00:04:10,025 --> 00:04:11,891
- Mm-hmm.
- No, Darryl,
115
00:04:11,916 --> 00:04:14,828
you're a judge... you'll get
plenty of pie at the contest.
116
00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:16,096
Judge? Contest? What?
117
00:04:16,098 --> 00:04:18,365
No, it's just this stupid
pie contest I do every year.
118
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:20,133
It is not stupid. It's great.
119
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,535
And I'm a judge this year.
120
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I just applied and I got in.
121
00:04:23,038 --> 00:04:24,104
Paula: Okay, Darryl, go away.
122
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Come on, we're talking.
123
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:26,974
Yeah, well, you know
what? This is my office.
124
00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:28,697
I pay for you guys to be here.
125
00:04:31,288 --> 00:04:32,947
I think I've made my point.
126
00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:37,463
(Sighs heavily)
127
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,828
Paula! Oh, my God, you never
told me about a pie contest.
128
00:04:41,853 --> 00:04:43,524
- You're such a little liar.
- What?
129
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:45,058
Yeah, according to the act of omission,
130
00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:47,160
- it is a lie.
- Calm down.
131
00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:49,229
I lose every year. There's this woman,
132
00:04:49,231 --> 00:04:51,465
Peggy Rose... she owns the
pie shop on East Cameron...
133
00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:53,000
- She always wins.
- Well, this year,
134
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,835
you're gonna win, 'cause
I'm gonna help you.
135
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:57,070
Oh, no. No, no, no. I see what this is.
136
00:04:57,072 --> 00:04:59,439
This isn't about pie...
You're trying to distract me
137
00:04:59,441 --> 00:05:01,909
from Josh... you're trying
to give us a new mission.
138
00:05:01,911 --> 00:05:03,443
God, this is just like that time
139
00:05:03,445 --> 00:05:05,546
Scott and I decided to
have that second kid.
140
00:05:05,548 --> 00:05:07,381
Oh. No, it's not like that.
141
00:05:07,383 --> 00:05:09,316
I'm not trying to distract
you from my love life.
142
00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:10,817
(Phone chimes)
143
00:05:10,819 --> 00:05:12,085
Just one... sorry, one second.
144
00:05:12,087 --> 00:05:14,087
I'm sorry, just, um...
145
00:05:14,961 --> 00:05:16,961
_
146
00:05:16,986 --> 00:05:17,925
Uh, you know what?
147
00:05:17,927 --> 00:05:20,561
I am... gonna head out right now
148
00:05:20,563 --> 00:05:23,430
to the local pie supply shop...
149
00:05:23,432 --> 00:05:24,531
Or grocery store.
150
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,766
Okay, to each his own.
151
00:05:25,768 --> 00:05:26,867
And I'm gonna get
152
00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,936
all of the baking
supplies we need to win.
153
00:05:28,938 --> 00:05:31,905
And don't you worry about
this, because I am on top of it,
154
00:05:31,907 --> 00:05:34,107
I'm all over it, I'm just covered in it.
155
00:05:34,109 --> 00:05:35,242
(Exhales)
156
00:05:35,244 --> 00:05:38,588
Mm, you really are awesome at that.
157
00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:40,844
Good call on the bathroom, by the way.
158
00:05:40,933 --> 00:05:43,099
- Like, really good choice.
- Thanks.
159
00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:44,885
I used a new app... it shows you
160
00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:46,420
where all the nearest
public bathrooms are.
161
00:05:47,361 --> 00:05:50,123
It's for people with IBS,
but it works great for us.
162
00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:52,025
- (Giggles)
- Sorry, we couldn't go to my place.
163
00:05:52,027 --> 00:05:53,955
Lately my Dad's been, uh...
164
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:55,862
Living there for 30 years.
165
00:05:55,864 --> 00:05:58,432
Yeah, yeah, and, look, I wish
we could go more to my place,
166
00:05:58,434 --> 00:06:00,934
but I just don't want Heather
to see you coming and going.
167
00:06:00,936 --> 00:06:02,936
I think it might be tacky and, you know,
168
00:06:02,938 --> 00:06:04,504
- complex, and-and...
- Shh, shh. Don't worry about it.
169
00:06:04,506 --> 00:06:06,955
This is working out great. I love it.
170
00:06:07,009 --> 00:06:08,208
Okay.
171
00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:09,955
Great.
172
00:06:10,212 --> 00:06:11,682
So, um...
173
00:06:11,847 --> 00:06:13,807
You want to text me later?
174
00:06:14,049 --> 00:06:15,471
Why don't you text me?
175
00:06:16,455 --> 00:06:18,989
Oh. I see. So you're the boss now.
176
00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:20,891
Yeah.
177
00:06:20,956 --> 00:06:23,123
Okay. Well...
178
00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:25,158
I will text you, then.
179
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:26,057
Yeah.
180
00:06:26,082 --> 00:06:28,629
Oh, I'm gonna text you
just how you like it
181
00:06:28,631 --> 00:06:30,130
with a ton of emojis...
182
00:06:30,132 --> 00:06:31,999
There's gonna be, like, a pizza
183
00:06:32,001 --> 00:06:34,001
and a rocket, and
you're gonna go be, like,
184
00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:36,103
"yeah... mmm... "
185
00:06:36,861 --> 00:06:38,353
Mmm...
186
00:06:38,741 --> 00:06:41,838
Mmm. These candles are amazing. Smell.
187
00:06:42,144 --> 00:06:43,644
And how cute
188
00:06:43,646 --> 00:06:44,911
- are these hats?
- Mm.
189
00:06:44,913 --> 00:06:47,180
Ah. It is such an honor
that your sister asked me
190
00:06:47,182 --> 00:06:49,760
to do the gift bags for her
wedding... I can't believe it.
191
00:06:50,455 --> 00:06:52,285
Yeah, I'm happy you're happy, babe.
192
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,854
(Sighs)
193
00:06:53,856 --> 00:06:55,697
I love weddings.
194
00:06:55,722 --> 00:06:57,289
Two people coming together,
195
00:06:57,393 --> 00:06:59,426
pledging their devotion
for the rest of their lives
196
00:06:59,451 --> 00:07:01,588
in front of all their
friends and loved ones.
197
00:07:01,613 --> 00:07:03,580
Yeah. That's a wedding.
198
00:07:04,994 --> 00:07:08,835
It is so great that this wedding can
remind us about what truly matters?
199
00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:11,627
We have been tested, and
now we're stronger than ever.
200
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:12,839
Yeah.
201
00:07:12,841 --> 00:07:14,541
We know where we're headed.
202
00:07:14,543 --> 00:07:16,377
We know what the future is.
203
00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:18,903
We don't have to worry
about Rebecca anymore.
204
00:07:19,048 --> 00:07:23,096
Nothing and no one can
come between us ever again.
205
00:07:23,552 --> 00:07:24,674
(Quiet grunt)
206
00:07:24,699 --> 00:07:26,165
Right?
207
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,825
(Inhales deeply)
208
00:07:32,968 --> 00:07:35,202
(Drops gift bag, exhales)
209
00:07:35,431 --> 00:07:38,236
♪
♪ (Crickets chirping)
210
00:07:38,869 --> 00:07:40,961
Rebecca: Okay, mama, I'm ready to bake.
211
00:07:40,986 --> 00:07:42,709
I got so much fun stuff!
212
00:07:42,805 --> 00:07:45,472
I got every single flour imaginable.
213
00:07:45,474 --> 00:07:47,474
I got buckwheat flour and...
214
00:07:47,476 --> 00:07:49,042
Spelt and almond flour...
215
00:07:49,044 --> 00:07:50,077
Oh, my gosh, wait.
216
00:07:50,079 --> 00:07:52,379
This is my favorite one.
217
00:07:52,381 --> 00:07:53,627
Cricket flour.
218
00:07:53,749 --> 00:07:54,848
Nope.
219
00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:57,518
Yes. It's actually highly proteinaceous.
220
00:07:58,071 --> 00:07:59,170
That is a word, incidentally,
221
00:07:59,195 --> 00:08:00,595
that I played today
in Words with Friends,
222
00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:02,620
and I got a ton of points for it. Ah.
223
00:08:02,645 --> 00:08:04,478
Which friend? Oh, it was a random play.
224
00:08:04,503 --> 00:08:07,404
Yeah, some girl in
Holland... uh, Goudagirl189.
225
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:11,682
Are you sure?
226
00:08:12,234 --> 00:08:14,893
Are you sure you're just
playing with... a friend?
227
00:08:15,822 --> 00:08:18,105
Y-yeah. What are you talking about?
228
00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:19,339
Uh, then why are your...
229
00:08:19,341 --> 00:08:20,707
- panties in your pocket?!
- What?
230
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:21,942
Oh, uh-huh.
231
00:08:21,944 --> 00:08:22,776
Paula, okay, ew.
232
00:08:22,778 --> 00:08:23,564
Paula, just... okay,
233
00:08:23,589 --> 00:08:24,878
- (whoops)
- All right, okay,
234
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,980
let's talk about our
boundary issues, okay?
235
00:08:26,982 --> 00:08:29,338
Come on, fess up... who are
you sleeping with? Come on.
236
00:08:29,363 --> 00:08:31,284
Okay, you know how horny I am,
237
00:08:31,286 --> 00:08:32,719
and I am totally on board
238
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,354
for some post-heartbreak gettin' down,
239
00:08:34,356 --> 00:08:36,197
so tell me, who is it, who is it?
240
00:08:36,222 --> 00:08:38,111
Who is it? Who is it?
241
00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:40,080
It's no one. Really, it's no one.
242
00:08:40,105 --> 00:08:43,764
I'm not having intercourse
with anyone. Yeah.
243
00:08:43,766 --> 00:08:45,365
Baby...
244
00:08:45,924 --> 00:08:47,667
If you are getting
your butterfly smashed,
245
00:08:47,669 --> 00:08:48,769
I am all for it...
246
00:08:48,771 --> 00:08:50,403
As long as it's not Greg.
247
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,272
Greg? Why would you say...
Why would you even, like,
248
00:08:52,274 --> 00:08:54,341
- mention his name? That's weird.
- Because he's
249
00:08:54,343 --> 00:08:55,842
always buzzing around you... he's, like,
250
00:08:55,844 --> 00:08:57,511
this sexy Italian fly, and you're, like,
251
00:08:57,513 --> 00:08:58,916
this old meatball in an alley.
252
00:08:58,941 --> 00:09:01,135
You know what? I'm not
sleeping with Greg.
253
00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,250
Good. Look, I like the guy, I really do,
254
00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:05,018
but he is not romance material.
255
00:09:05,020 --> 00:09:08,288
Okay, he is a booze hound,
he is completely shut down,
256
00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:09,890
and he is angry.
257
00:09:09,892 --> 00:09:12,025
(Gasps) He's kind of like
that Star Wars villain.
258
00:09:12,027 --> 00:09:14,795
You know, the new one, with
the, like, the really great hair?
259
00:09:14,797 --> 00:09:17,807
Paula, I get it. You
don't like Greg. Okay?
260
00:09:17,832 --> 00:09:19,866
Hey, not to mention, he is
Josh's best friend, okay?
261
00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:21,268
And if you sleep with
Josh's best friend,
262
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,936
that ruins any possibility
for when you finally
263
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,405
come to your senses and realize
that you are meant for Josh.
264
00:09:25,407 --> 00:09:27,841
Okay, okay, Paula, Paula, listen.
265
00:09:27,843 --> 00:09:29,744
(Exhales) I promise...
266
00:09:29,978 --> 00:09:31,878
Nobody, including Greg,
267
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,986
is smashing my butterfly.
268
00:09:34,011 --> 00:09:36,779
Oh, God, do it! Smash my butterfly!
269
00:09:36,852 --> 00:09:37,951
(Exhales)
270
00:09:37,976 --> 00:09:39,475
What?
271
00:09:44,838 --> 00:09:47,272
So, the butterfly metaphor.
272
00:09:47,274 --> 00:09:49,938
(Smacks lips) Oh... yeah,
273
00:09:49,963 --> 00:09:52,852
it's just a little something
I picked up on the street.
274
00:09:52,877 --> 00:09:54,860
Well, if we're going
with obscure metaphors,
275
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,118
I'm right there with you.
276
00:09:56,737 --> 00:09:58,111
Oh, really? Lay some on me.
277
00:09:58,136 --> 00:10:00,172
- I don't know if you can handle it.
- I can handle anything, Serrano.
278
00:10:00,197 --> 00:10:02,885
I will crumble your zebra.
279
00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:04,064
Uh-huh.
280
00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:06,346
- I will sauté your giraffe.
- Oh, that's good.
281
00:10:06,371 --> 00:10:08,525
I will flambé your cockatoo.
282
00:10:08,550 --> 00:10:11,260
(Laughing): I like that one.
283
00:10:11,285 --> 00:10:13,418
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, hold on. I got to pee.
284
00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:14,853
I'll be right back.
285
00:10:15,424 --> 00:10:16,407
Good-bye.
286
00:10:16,432 --> 00:10:17,455
(Gasps)
287
00:10:17,457 --> 00:10:18,416
(Door opens)
288
00:10:18,441 --> 00:10:20,208
- Flambé your cockatoo.
- (Door closes)
289
00:10:20,561 --> 00:10:22,518
(Chuckles softly) I'm funny.
290
00:10:22,847 --> 00:10:25,322
(Groaning)
291
00:10:25,532 --> 00:10:27,221
That took a while.
292
00:10:27,246 --> 00:10:29,088
- What's up?
- I, um... I'll be fine.
293
00:10:29,113 --> 00:10:30,746
It just burns when I pee.
294
00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:32,713
(Groans)
295
00:10:32,784 --> 00:10:34,549
This has happened to me before.
296
00:10:34,993 --> 00:10:36,408
I think I have a UTI.
297
00:10:37,276 --> 00:10:38,509
Urinary tract infection.
298
00:10:38,643 --> 00:10:39,508
What is that?
299
00:10:39,830 --> 00:10:41,344
Oh, you're such a man.
300
00:10:41,346 --> 00:10:42,211
Okay, so a UTI
301
00:10:42,213 --> 00:10:44,213
is an inflammation
302
00:10:44,215 --> 00:10:45,815
of the urethra caused
303
00:10:45,817 --> 00:10:49,493
by excessive amounts of
vigorous sexual activity.
304
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:50,586
(Chuckles)
305
00:10:52,268 --> 00:10:53,789
It also doesn't help
306
00:10:53,814 --> 00:10:55,846
if a man is too, uh...
307
00:10:56,908 --> 00:10:59,228
Too... what?
308
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:00,930
Capacious.
309
00:11:00,955 --> 00:11:02,150
Ooh! That's 25 points.
310
00:11:02,175 --> 00:11:03,532
I don't know that word.
311
00:11:03,534 --> 00:11:05,301
I must be dumb from all the blood
312
00:11:05,303 --> 00:11:07,336
rushing towards my capacious...
313
00:11:07,338 --> 00:11:08,204
Okay, okay.
314
00:11:08,206 --> 00:11:09,228
A UTI.
315
00:11:09,741 --> 00:11:11,941
Huh.
316
00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:14,343
(Laughs)
317
00:11:14,345 --> 00:11:16,746
What? What's going on?
Why are you clapping?
318
00:11:17,615 --> 00:11:18,814
Like, seriously, what's happening?
319
00:11:18,816 --> 00:11:21,050
♪ ♪
320
00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:27,490
(Musical clanging)
321
00:11:27,492 --> 00:11:29,392
♪ What's that's burning feelin' ♪
322
00:11:29,394 --> 00:11:31,220
♪ every time you pee? ♪
323
00:11:31,245 --> 00:11:33,545
♪ Well, that's how it
goes after you have so ♪
324
00:11:33,547 --> 00:11:36,882
♪ much awesome sex
with me, I gave you ♪
325
00:11:37,484 --> 00:11:38,784
♪ a UTI ♪
326
00:11:39,581 --> 00:11:41,581
♪ yeah, I gave you ♪
327
00:11:41,904 --> 00:11:43,237
♪ a UTI ♪
328
00:11:44,651 --> 00:11:46,451
♪ my sweet love injection ♪
329
00:11:46,453 --> 00:11:48,653
♪ caused a urinary tract infection ♪
330
00:11:48,655 --> 00:11:52,891
♪ I'm just that good, I
didn't even try, try, try ♪
331
00:11:53,593 --> 00:11:56,461
♪ I gave you a UTI ♪
332
00:11:56,463 --> 00:11:58,096
Okay. So it's not really a comment
333
00:11:58,098 --> 00:12:00,632
on the quality of the sex
as much as a lot of sex
334
00:12:00,634 --> 00:12:02,067
has been happening and there's just
335
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:04,135
a very natural transfer of bacteria
336
00:12:04,137 --> 00:12:05,904
- to my...
- Don't ruin this for me.
337
00:12:06,606 --> 00:12:08,340
♪ That bladder inflammation ♪
338
00:12:08,342 --> 00:12:10,308
♪ is my little gift to you ♪
339
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:12,811
♪ yeah, sometimes
chicks need medication ♪
340
00:12:12,813 --> 00:12:14,746
♪ after what I put them through ♪
341
00:12:14,748 --> 00:12:16,514
Come on, sing with me!
342
00:12:16,516 --> 00:12:17,282
No, I'm not gonna do that.
343
00:12:17,284 --> 00:12:18,583
♪ I gave you ♪
344
00:12:18,585 --> 00:12:20,285
♪ I gave you, a UTI ♪
345
00:12:20,287 --> 00:12:22,153
♪ a UTI, yeah, I gave you ♪
346
00:12:22,155 --> 00:12:24,889
♪ I gave you, a UTI ♪
347
00:12:24,891 --> 00:12:26,858
♪ a UTI ♪
348
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:28,827
♪ I'm so good at sex ♪
349
00:12:28,829 --> 00:12:31,229
♪ your maiden ship got wrecked ♪
350
00:12:31,231 --> 00:12:35,567
♪ my penis is the reason
you may die, die, die ♪
351
00:12:35,569 --> 00:12:38,670
♪ I gave you a UTI ♪
352
00:12:39,539 --> 00:12:41,506
♪ one night with
me is pure ecstasy ♪
353
00:12:41,508 --> 00:12:44,142
♪ 'cause I know just what you like ♪
354
00:12:44,144 --> 00:12:46,745
♪ but you should know for a
week or so you won't be able ♪
355
00:12:46,747 --> 00:12:48,146
♪ to ride a bike ♪
356
00:12:48,148 --> 00:12:50,382
I'm so sorry if you have
to cancel that spin class.
357
00:12:50,384 --> 00:12:52,917
I'll pay the cancellation fee, because
I know a lot times you have to book
358
00:12:52,919 --> 00:12:55,320
a specific bike in advance.
359
00:12:55,322 --> 00:12:57,822
Anyway... ♪ I gave you, I gave you ♪
360
00:12:57,824 --> 00:13:01,459
♪ a UTI, a UTI, not an STD ♪
361
00:13:01,461 --> 00:13:03,895
♪ no STDs, just to clarify ♪
362
00:13:03,897 --> 00:13:05,096
Okay, good to know. Whoa.
363
00:13:05,098 --> 00:13:06,965
♪ If it hurts to take a leak ♪
364
00:13:06,967 --> 00:13:09,834
♪ well, that's just
part of my technique ♪
365
00:13:09,836 --> 00:13:12,504
♪ what has two thumbs
and gave you a UTI? ♪
366
00:13:12,506 --> 00:13:14,472
♪ This guy ♪
367
00:13:14,474 --> 00:13:16,841
♪ I gave you a U-T-I ♪
368
00:13:16,843 --> 00:13:20,645
♪ gave you a U-T-I gave you ♪
369
00:13:20,647 --> 00:13:25,817
♪ a UTI... ♪
370
00:13:27,226 --> 00:13:28,186
Oh.
371
00:13:29,056 --> 00:13:30,388
Okay.
372
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:33,658
(Laughing)
373
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:36,895
Well, if one good thing can
come from my searing pain,
374
00:13:36,897 --> 00:13:38,687
it's that it feeds your ego.
375
00:13:38,712 --> 00:13:40,331
Oh, I'm just being silly. I'm kidding.
376
00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:42,100
I'm fine. I caught it
early. I'll just take
377
00:13:42,102 --> 00:13:44,002
some cranberry pills and painkillers.
378
00:13:44,004 --> 00:13:45,570
Great, you got this.
379
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,959
Hey, um, I had a fun idea.
380
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,052
I was thinking maybe I
could work remotely from...
381
00:13:50,077 --> 00:13:53,044
home base today. What do you...
What do you think about that?
382
00:13:53,046 --> 00:13:54,579
Yeah, sure. If you want.
383
00:13:54,581 --> 00:13:55,580
- Okay, great.
- Mwah.
384
00:13:55,582 --> 00:13:57,415
(Whistling)
385
00:13:57,417 --> 00:13:59,384
Okay. I'll s... (Door opens)
386
00:13:59,386 --> 00:14:01,648
I'll see you... there. (Door closes)
387
00:14:04,024 --> 00:14:06,224
♪ ♪
388
00:14:17,327 --> 00:14:19,838
Peppy Greg is weird. What's up?
389
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,339
I don't know what you're talking about.
390
00:14:21,341 --> 00:14:23,023
Just a lovely day in the Cov'.
391
00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:24,742
Do you have one of those brain tumors
392
00:14:24,744 --> 00:14:26,744
that changes your personality?
393
00:14:26,792 --> 00:14:28,608
Can you play the violin now?
394
00:14:30,609 --> 00:14:32,083
Serrano's in a good mood.
395
00:14:32,593 --> 00:14:34,085
Yeah.
396
00:14:34,087 --> 00:14:35,253
It's gross.
397
00:14:35,255 --> 00:14:37,589
Like, I would've never
slept with that guy.
398
00:14:39,085 --> 00:14:41,626
So, why do you need so
many home base bucks?
399
00:14:41,628 --> 00:14:43,795
Welcome bags for my sister's wedding.
400
00:14:43,797 --> 00:14:45,130
It's cute that you're
helping Valencia out.
401
00:14:45,132 --> 00:14:46,898
It's like you're an
assistant bridesmaid.
402
00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,299
- (Scoffs)
- But, dude, aren't you worried
403
00:14:48,301 --> 00:14:50,168
that marriage is contagious?
404
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:53,138
Like, Valencia's probably, like,
all up on you to propose, right?
405
00:14:53,749 --> 00:14:54,739
No, not really.
406
00:14:55,351 --> 00:14:57,609
I mean, she's not
hurrying me or anything.
407
00:14:58,116 --> 00:14:59,811
She respects me too much.
408
00:14:59,813 --> 00:15:01,646
(Laughing)
409
00:15:01,648 --> 00:15:03,248
She respects you.
410
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,083
(Laughing)
411
00:15:05,085 --> 00:15:07,202
Good one, bro. (Chuckling)
412
00:15:07,405 --> 00:15:08,230
Hey, guys.
413
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:09,308
- Greg: Hey!
- Rebecca: Hi.
414
00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:11,299
- How are you?
- It's been a while. I'm...
415
00:15:11,324 --> 00:15:14,125
Oh, right. Yeah, I haven't
seen you in, like, forever.
416
00:15:14,127 --> 00:15:14,993
Yeah.
417
00:15:14,995 --> 00:15:17,795
Rebecca: Um... so...
418
00:15:17,797 --> 00:15:20,303
Do you want to come find
me on your next break?
419
00:15:20,328 --> 00:15:22,606
Yeah. You could help me in the back
420
00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:25,503
in the stockroom zest the porcupine.
421
00:15:25,787 --> 00:15:28,173
Got it. Got it. Um,
that sounds good. Yeah.
422
00:15:28,175 --> 00:15:29,140
You do get it. Cool.
423
00:15:29,142 --> 00:15:30,441
They look like they just spent
424
00:15:30,443 --> 00:15:33,144
three days having sex
and eating Chinese food.
425
00:15:33,146 --> 00:15:34,479
What are you talking about?
426
00:15:34,481 --> 00:15:38,049
Okay, in Psych 3, we
studied human mating signals.
427
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,151
They just did all of them:
428
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:43,988
Shrugging, eye contact, head tilting,
429
00:15:43,990 --> 00:15:45,523
flamingo leg.
430
00:15:45,525 --> 00:15:47,825
Like... yep, flamingo leg.
431
00:15:47,827 --> 00:15:50,461
Next step is copulation.
432
00:15:51,654 --> 00:15:53,932
Oh. "Copulation" means "sex."
433
00:15:53,934 --> 00:15:55,333
I know what "copulation" means.
434
00:15:55,335 --> 00:15:57,602
But you are losing it.
435
00:15:57,604 --> 00:15:58,903
Greg and Rebecca?
436
00:15:58,905 --> 00:16:01,443
But sh-she doesn't
even like Greg, you...
437
00:16:01,775 --> 00:16:02,717
You...
438
00:16:03,343 --> 00:16:04,442
Dumb-face.
439
00:16:04,444 --> 00:16:07,512
Whoa. Josh, pull it together, okay?
440
00:16:07,514 --> 00:16:09,948
I'm just stating, like,
clearly observable facts.
441
00:16:09,950 --> 00:16:11,382
What? No.
442
00:16:11,384 --> 00:16:15,553
I-I got to go, 'cause I don't
want to catch your... dumbness.
443
00:16:19,565 --> 00:16:21,115
(Sighs)
444
00:16:24,974 --> 00:16:27,599
I have, like, the smartest face in here.
445
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,300
Okay, I'm gonna sit over there.
I'm gonna stand over here.
446
00:16:29,302 --> 00:16:31,569
Okay. Great. Okay.
447
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:38,776
So, dude, you finally got
in there with Rebecca, huh?
448
00:16:38,778 --> 00:16:40,411
That only took six months.
449
00:16:40,413 --> 00:16:41,913
No, it's not like that.
450
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,617
Yeah, it's totally like that.
451
00:16:45,619 --> 00:16:49,254
So, you and Greg are
totally sleeping together.
452
00:16:49,904 --> 00:16:51,456
No, it's not like that.
453
00:16:51,458 --> 00:16:52,890
Um...
454
00:16:52,892 --> 00:16:54,726
Yeah, it's totally like that.
455
00:16:54,728 --> 00:16:56,628
Heather, I'm so sorry.
456
00:16:56,630 --> 00:16:58,062
I've been meaning to tell you.
457
00:16:58,064 --> 00:16:59,397
I was gonna hand-write you a letter,
458
00:16:59,399 --> 00:17:00,865
and then I was gonna
seal it with a wax seal
459
00:17:00,867 --> 00:17:02,723
that I got in Colonial Williamsburg
460
00:17:02,748 --> 00:17:04,035
when I was 12 but I've never used it.
461
00:17:04,037 --> 00:17:06,693
I didn't do that. I'm
so sorry. Do you hate me?
462
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:08,906
No, it's cool.
463
00:17:09,264 --> 00:17:11,396
You just have to get married
and have eight babies.
464
00:17:11,845 --> 00:17:12,865
What?
465
00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:15,380
Well, you sleeping with my
ex hurts my feelings,
466
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,248
but it's okay if it's love.
467
00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:19,150
It's the "meant to be" exemption.
468
00:17:19,152 --> 00:17:21,452
Like, Woody and Soon-Yi
are still together,
469
00:17:21,454 --> 00:17:23,354
so that, like, kind of makes it okay.
470
00:17:23,356 --> 00:17:24,722
Do you get what I'm saying?
471
00:17:25,318 --> 00:17:26,691
Um, okay.
472
00:17:26,693 --> 00:17:28,760
That analogy doesn't really track,
473
00:17:28,762 --> 00:17:31,296
'cause Greg's not my
elderly de facto stepfather
474
00:17:31,298 --> 00:17:34,959
and also, um, we're not in love.
475
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,402
I mean, yet. I don't know.
476
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:38,670
I don't know how I feel.
I don't know how he feels.
477
00:17:38,672 --> 00:17:40,138
Should I call him? Should
I ask him? I don't know.
478
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,906
Oh...
479
00:17:42,584 --> 00:17:43,646
Wait.
480
00:17:44,010 --> 00:17:45,810
Wait, what's happening to me?
481
00:17:45,812 --> 00:17:47,478
How does he suddenly
have the upper hand?
482
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,946
You've got the upper hand.
483
00:17:49,498 --> 00:17:50,915
She was jerking your chain,
484
00:17:50,917 --> 00:17:52,283
and now she's jerking your chain.
485
00:17:52,285 --> 00:17:54,590
Dude, you are bro-ing
out so hard right now.
486
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,121
I'm just so happy for you.
You know, before, you were all,
487
00:17:57,123 --> 00:17:59,924
like, "please let me have it.
Please let me hold your taco
488
00:17:59,926 --> 00:18:01,426
while you sleep with another guy."
489
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:02,760
Okay, Hector, I get what you're saying.
490
00:18:02,762 --> 00:18:04,462
I've had some tough times with Rebecca,
491
00:18:04,464 --> 00:18:05,630
a few situations
492
00:18:05,632 --> 00:18:06,964
where my status was perhaps
493
00:18:06,966 --> 00:18:09,167
a skosh less than hers...
494
00:18:09,169 --> 00:18:11,680
Exactly. But now you're
in the driver's seat,
495
00:18:12,060 --> 00:18:14,405
cruising down the 405,
wind blowin' in your hair,
496
00:18:14,407 --> 00:18:16,240
listening to Backstreet Boys.
497
00:18:16,242 --> 00:18:17,342
Keep it goin'.
498
00:18:17,344 --> 00:18:19,177
That way she can't burn you again.
499
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:23,667
I don't know what's going on with me.
500
00:18:23,865 --> 00:18:27,493
I mean, something, something has
changed in this whole dynamic,
501
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,021
because I am in this
bar, drinking bad coffee,
502
00:18:30,185 --> 00:18:32,123
just so I can be close to him?
503
00:18:32,258 --> 00:18:34,490
Ew, I feel so stupid.
504
00:18:34,515 --> 00:18:36,361
Oh, dude, don't get down on yourself.
505
00:18:36,363 --> 00:18:38,663
It's, like, simple biology.
506
00:18:38,665 --> 00:18:40,498
Okay, sex releases oxytocin,
507
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:43,134
which causes the female to
imprint emotionally on the male.
508
00:18:44,170 --> 00:18:46,571
I got a b+ in physical science, so...
509
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:48,272
(Sighs)
510
00:18:48,274 --> 00:18:51,209
By the way, how long have
you been in community college?
511
00:18:51,405 --> 00:18:52,270
Eight years.
512
00:18:52,295 --> 00:18:53,578
Rebecca, it's simple.
513
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,980
Before sex, women have the power.
514
00:18:56,170 --> 00:18:58,816
After, men have it.
515
00:18:58,818 --> 00:19:00,418
That's a horrible thing to say.
516
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:02,037
I didn't make it up.
517
00:19:06,593 --> 00:19:07,525
Hi.
518
00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:09,360
Nope. Nope.
519
00:19:09,362 --> 00:19:11,829
Okay, I'm a smart woman.
I have multiple degrees.
520
00:19:11,831 --> 00:19:13,898
So I'm not gonna do this.
521
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,768
I'm going to go do my work back at work.
522
00:19:16,770 --> 00:19:20,405
Because at work, I am valued
for things like my intelligence,
523
00:19:20,407 --> 00:19:23,374
my skills, and my professional acumen,
524
00:19:23,376 --> 00:19:25,710
which I, as a smart woman, also value.
525
00:19:25,712 --> 00:19:28,746
So, yeah, me and my dumb
ovaries are getting out of here.
526
00:19:28,748 --> 00:19:30,815
Okay. I don't... I'm gonna carry it.
527
00:19:30,817 --> 00:19:32,717
Greg, um, I will text you later,
528
00:19:32,719 --> 00:19:33,918
okay? I'm gonna go.
529
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,253
Uh, I'm gonna head out. So, uh,
530
00:19:35,255 --> 00:19:37,822
do you want to text me later?
Maybe I can text... I can text
531
00:19:37,824 --> 00:19:40,324
you later, because I don't
know how late you're... working.
532
00:19:41,053 --> 00:19:42,483
Damn it.
533
00:19:43,596 --> 00:19:46,597
(Indistinct chatter)
534
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:51,135
Hey, Sensei, you mind if I
use the Dojo for a few minutes?
535
00:19:51,137 --> 00:19:51,998
What's up?
536
00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:54,272
Well, you ever have a friend
and another friend
537
00:19:54,274 --> 00:19:56,307
and then you run into
that friend and find out
538
00:19:56,309 --> 00:19:58,443
that the first two friends
are maybe doing stuff
539
00:19:58,445 --> 00:20:00,711
that friends aren't supposed
to do if they're just friends?
540
00:20:00,713 --> 00:20:01,879
You know?
541
00:20:02,349 --> 00:20:03,748
Say no more.
542
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,983
♪ ♪
543
00:20:20,266 --> 00:20:21,466
Josh: ♪ Angry! ♪
544
00:20:22,602 --> 00:20:24,502
♪ Feeling bad! ♪
545
00:20:24,504 --> 00:20:26,003
(Grunts)
546
00:20:26,005 --> 00:20:27,939
♪ Why do I feel this way? ♪
547
00:20:27,941 --> 00:20:29,674
♪ Angry! Mad! ♪
548
00:20:29,676 --> 00:20:33,144
♪ My heart is hurting,
and it feels... bad! ♪
549
00:20:33,146 --> 00:20:34,512
♪ Punching, ♪
550
00:20:34,514 --> 00:20:36,681
♪ feeling, crying, and... ♪
551
00:20:36,683 --> 00:20:39,283
(Groans)
552
00:20:39,285 --> 00:20:40,418
♪ Bad! ♪
553
00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:42,320
♪ ♪
554
00:21:08,581 --> 00:21:09,847
(Groans)
555
00:21:09,849 --> 00:21:11,749
♪ Bad! ♪
556
00:21:17,097 --> 00:21:19,064
♪ ♪
557
00:21:21,464 --> 00:21:23,097
(Indistinct conversations)
558
00:21:23,099 --> 00:21:24,799
This is exciting.
559
00:21:24,801 --> 00:21:27,134
Right? Isn't this great?
560
00:21:27,136 --> 00:21:29,804
We're gonna figure out Peggy
Rose's secret ingredient.
561
00:21:29,806 --> 00:21:31,005
Hmm?
562
00:21:31,007 --> 00:21:32,273
It's fun.
563
00:21:32,275 --> 00:21:34,642
We're doing some es-pie-onage.
564
00:21:34,644 --> 00:21:36,077
(Laughs) I just thought of that.
565
00:21:36,079 --> 00:21:37,945
That was pretty good. Hey,
you know what's even better?
566
00:21:37,947 --> 00:21:40,114
- What?
- My list that I put together
567
00:21:40,116 --> 00:21:42,190
of the people you could
possibly be sleeping with.
568
00:21:42,214 --> 00:21:43,291
Oh, come on!
569
00:21:43,316 --> 00:21:46,193
Order of my preference. One,
the guy from spin class.
570
00:21:46,195 --> 00:21:48,328
Two, your spin instructor.
Three, John Stamos.
571
00:21:48,330 --> 00:21:50,731
Okay, stop talking about this.
I'm not sleeping with anyone.
572
00:21:50,733 --> 00:21:52,399
No sexy time. I'm not...
573
00:21:52,401 --> 00:21:53,900
having sex... with anyone.
574
00:21:53,902 --> 00:21:55,402
Let's drop it and focus on pie.
575
00:21:55,404 --> 00:21:57,300
Oh, there she is. There's Peggy Rose.
576
00:21:57,806 --> 00:21:58,995
Let's follow her.
577
00:21:59,020 --> 00:22:00,686
Let's stalk her, let's
see what she does.
578
00:22:00,711 --> 00:22:02,410
No, we can't do that.
It's the middle of the day.
579
00:22:02,551 --> 00:22:04,785
Plus, we're not... cartoon detectives.
580
00:22:05,553 --> 00:22:06,893
I know.
581
00:22:09,807 --> 00:22:12,352
What if we came back
at night... broke in?
582
00:22:12,354 --> 00:22:14,388
It's a real devious plan.
You love devious plans.
583
00:22:14,390 --> 00:22:15,856
Eh...
584
00:22:15,858 --> 00:22:17,003
Only if they're about Josh.
585
00:22:17,028 --> 00:22:19,081
Tonight. We're gonna do it. It's a date.
586
00:22:19,106 --> 00:22:20,847
Mm-hmm. Moi et toi.
587
00:22:21,956 --> 00:22:24,257
- That's French for "me and you."
- What? Oh.
588
00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:26,859
Yeah. Just...
589
00:22:26,861 --> 00:22:28,895
Why is it still... you want... again?
590
00:22:28,897 --> 00:22:30,396
- Yay.
- All right.
591
00:22:35,917 --> 00:22:37,770
Ah, ah, ah... dude, I
wasn't finished with that.
592
00:22:37,772 --> 00:22:39,805
What are you in such a rush about?
593
00:22:39,807 --> 00:22:41,474
The bar doesn't close till
11:00 and most of the customers
594
00:22:41,476 --> 00:22:42,875
have an 8:00 P.M. bedtime.
595
00:22:42,877 --> 00:22:44,443
I'm closing early.
There's no one's here.
596
00:22:44,445 --> 00:22:46,512
And I'm meeting Rebecca
at her place later.
597
00:22:46,514 --> 00:22:48,181
She wants me there in half an hour.
598
00:22:48,183 --> 00:22:51,775
Oh, so, she tells you
where to go and what to do.
599
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,253
Sounds like you're her little pet.
600
00:22:54,255 --> 00:22:55,955
Or shall I say, her little bitch.
601
00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:57,156
Oh, calm down.
602
00:22:57,158 --> 00:22:59,258
You're spending way too
much time with Rebecca.
603
00:22:59,260 --> 00:23:00,927
You're in a danger zone here, all right?
604
00:23:00,929 --> 00:23:03,740
You need to stay on track,
and head on down the highway.
605
00:23:04,143 --> 00:23:05,965
And how do I do that, Kenny Loggins?
606
00:23:05,967 --> 00:23:07,633
Easy. Saturday night I have a date
607
00:23:07,635 --> 00:23:08,968
with a girl named Angie.
608
00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:11,128
She's bringing her cousin from Denver,
609
00:23:11,272 --> 00:23:13,089
and Angie says she's fun.
610
00:23:13,841 --> 00:23:15,241
What does that mean?
611
00:23:15,243 --> 00:23:16,842
It means she's fun. Don't be disgusting.
612
00:23:16,844 --> 00:23:18,511
Greg, dating other people
613
00:23:18,513 --> 00:23:20,854
is the number-one way to
maintain the upper hand.
614
00:23:21,516 --> 00:23:23,659
So, are you in?
615
00:23:25,787 --> 00:23:27,520
(Sighs)
616
00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,359
Honey, guess what? I am
almost done with the gift bags.
617
00:23:33,361 --> 00:23:36,395
I just need you to fill
28 little potpourri sachets
618
00:23:36,397 --> 00:23:38,104
of cloves and lavender
and then we're done.
619
00:23:38,128 --> 00:23:39,134
(Refrigerator door closes)
620
00:23:39,159 --> 00:23:40,900
Later. I have to take a shower.
621
00:23:40,902 --> 00:23:42,835
What is wrong, hon?
622
00:23:42,837 --> 00:23:44,503
I'm just... I'm in a bad mood.
623
00:23:44,739 --> 00:23:45,745
Uh...
624
00:23:46,341 --> 00:23:48,074
What, I can't be in a bad mood?
625
00:23:48,076 --> 00:23:50,276
It's like, people think,
"oh, Josh is such a nice guy,
626
00:23:50,278 --> 00:23:52,311
"Josh is so happy-go-lucky,
Josh can't be
627
00:23:52,313 --> 00:23:53,512
in a bad mood." But you know what?
628
00:23:53,514 --> 00:23:55,381
Josh can be in a bad mood,
629
00:23:55,383 --> 00:23:58,017
and right now Josh is be in a bad mood.
630
00:23:58,019 --> 00:24:00,518
Okay, you are being so weird.
631
00:24:00,597 --> 00:24:03,198
Do you want company in that shower?
632
00:24:03,262 --> 00:24:04,961
I'm... okay, you know,
I'm sorry, just...
633
00:24:05,159 --> 00:24:06,792
Not right now. Another time.
634
00:24:06,794 --> 00:24:08,362
Are you rejecting me?
635
00:24:08,753 --> 00:24:10,296
Are you turning down sex?
636
00:24:10,298 --> 00:24:12,431
Josh can turn down sex.
637
00:24:12,433 --> 00:24:14,667
And... and-and that's
what he is be doing.
638
00:24:15,803 --> 00:24:17,003
(Scoffs)
639
00:24:20,141 --> 00:24:21,690
What is wrong with Josh?
640
00:24:27,484 --> 00:24:29,284
♪ ♪
641
00:24:30,964 --> 00:24:32,988
I'm here for you, my son.
642
00:24:33,488 --> 00:24:35,154
You're gonna have to stop calling that.
643
00:24:35,156 --> 00:24:36,190
We're the same age, brah.
644
00:24:36,215 --> 00:24:38,768
Whoa. Josh, why are you
getting so crabby, man?
645
00:24:39,058 --> 00:24:40,291
Is it 'cause you keep losing?
646
00:24:40,293 --> 00:24:41,959
You can't beat yourself up for that,
647
00:24:41,961 --> 00:24:43,800
because I've got Jesus on my side.
648
00:24:44,565 --> 00:24:46,330
All right... that's
not your piece. I'm red.
649
00:24:46,504 --> 00:24:49,261
Why is everyone always telling
me what to do all the time?
650
00:24:50,347 --> 00:24:52,770
Sorry, FB. I've been
snapping at everyone,
651
00:24:52,772 --> 00:24:54,772
- especially Valencia.
- Hmm.
652
00:24:55,089 --> 00:24:57,472
(Whispers): I even turned down sex.
653
00:24:57,927 --> 00:24:59,464
Wow.
654
00:25:00,144 --> 00:25:01,677
Josh, that's a big "wow" for you.
655
00:25:01,679 --> 00:25:04,280
I didn't even know men
were capable of doing that.
656
00:25:04,547 --> 00:25:07,519
Well, they... they are.
657
00:25:09,604 --> 00:25:11,520
- Oh, duh. I'm sorry.
- Mm-hmm.
658
00:25:11,522 --> 00:25:12,955
Eh, it's okay, sometimes I forget, too.
659
00:25:13,323 --> 00:25:15,725
Can you identify
the moment
660
00:25:15,727 --> 00:25:18,425
that you became so upset?
661
00:25:19,765 --> 00:25:20,823
It was at...
662
00:25:21,032 --> 00:25:22,581
Home Base.
663
00:25:23,268 --> 00:25:24,867
Greg made me upset.
664
00:25:24,869 --> 00:25:26,002
Okay. In what way?
665
00:25:26,004 --> 00:25:27,803
He was just being a big dumb-face.
666
00:25:27,805 --> 00:25:29,171
Why does Rebecca like him?
667
00:25:29,173 --> 00:25:30,539
Why is she all buddy-buddy with him?
668
00:25:30,541 --> 00:25:31,807
He's just a
stupid know-it-all.
669
00:25:31,809 --> 00:25:33,509
He's also your best friend.
670
00:25:33,901 --> 00:25:36,790
Right? I mean, what did Greg
do that made you so frustrated
671
00:25:36,815 --> 00:25:39,181
other than... befriend Rebecca?
672
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,361
I don't know.
673
00:25:42,104 --> 00:25:43,486
What do you think?
674
00:25:44,229 --> 00:25:45,921
Well, can I be honest?
675
00:25:47,284 --> 00:25:48,457
I think you're acting like
676
00:25:48,459 --> 00:25:49,959
a little bitch right now.
677
00:25:49,961 --> 00:25:51,229
Whoa! Dude!
678
00:25:51,254 --> 00:25:54,130
Josh, you kissed Rebecca,
but then you chose Valencia.
679
00:25:54,132 --> 00:25:56,499
And now you can't let
go of Rebecca's attention
680
00:25:56,501 --> 00:25:59,589
and adoration, and that's why
you're jealous of Greg, dude.
681
00:25:59,909 --> 00:26:01,737
And that's how you're
acting like a little bitch.
682
00:26:02,159 --> 00:26:04,273
Okay? If Rebecca
683
00:26:04,275 --> 00:26:06,676
seems happy, you got to bow out, dawg.
684
00:26:07,284 --> 00:26:08,544
Let it be.
685
00:26:08,546 --> 00:26:11,013
You're all up in someone
else's beeswax right now.
686
00:26:11,265 --> 00:26:13,198
(Sighs)
687
00:26:14,342 --> 00:26:15,636
It's your move.
688
00:26:18,987 --> 00:26:20,356
It's your checkers move.
689
00:26:20,358 --> 00:26:23,025
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
690
00:26:23,027 --> 00:26:24,627
Mm-hmm.
691
00:26:24,629 --> 00:26:26,862
♪ ♪
692
00:26:28,399 --> 00:26:30,815
Mmm. Oh, my God, I was so hungry.
693
00:26:31,326 --> 00:26:33,564
Here, have the last lettuce cup.
694
00:26:34,551 --> 00:26:36,252
Really?
695
00:26:37,011 --> 00:26:38,651
You love hand-held salads.
696
00:26:38,676 --> 00:26:41,744
You said that you're still
hungry and it looks delicious.
697
00:26:41,746 --> 00:26:43,379
And you remembered?
698
00:26:43,381 --> 00:26:44,680
You just said it.
699
00:26:44,682 --> 00:26:46,081
I know, but...
700
00:26:47,464 --> 00:26:49,118
You're really sweet.
701
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:50,542
Like...
702
00:26:52,090 --> 00:26:53,417
You're just...
703
00:26:54,726 --> 00:26:56,307
You're the sweetest.
704
00:26:58,706 --> 00:27:00,229
What do you say
705
00:27:00,847 --> 00:27:02,998
we break the sexual tension...
706
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,487
With some actual sex?
707
00:27:05,927 --> 00:27:07,454
(Chuckles) O... okay.
708
00:27:07,479 --> 00:27:08,304
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
709
00:27:08,306 --> 00:27:09,638
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, wait,
710
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,475
how is your, um... situation?
711
00:27:13,737 --> 00:27:14,599
Oh, fine.
712
00:27:14,811 --> 00:27:16,778
Don't worry about it. Yeah.
713
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,227
♪ ♪
714
00:27:23,659 --> 00:27:27,156
♪ You've been tearing me
up for a week and a half ♪
715
00:27:27,158 --> 00:27:30,326
♪ I don't mean like in my heart ♪
716
00:27:30,328 --> 00:27:32,094
♪ I mean, physically ♪
717
00:27:32,096 --> 00:27:34,230
♪ you've been tearin' me up ♪
718
00:27:34,232 --> 00:27:37,800
♪ it's D-day in my lady parts ♪
719
00:27:37,802 --> 00:27:39,702
♪ but as I'm begging for more ♪
720
00:27:39,704 --> 00:27:41,570
♪ writhing around on the floor ♪
721
00:27:41,572 --> 00:27:43,339
♪ I feel something deep inside ♪
722
00:27:43,341 --> 00:27:45,775
♪ I never felt before ♪
723
00:27:45,777 --> 00:27:49,211
♪ oh, my God, I think I like you ♪
724
00:27:49,369 --> 00:27:52,400
♪ oh, my God, I think I like you ♪
725
00:27:54,642 --> 00:27:57,820
♪ it's scary but you
send me back on my heels ♪
726
00:27:57,822 --> 00:28:00,089
♪ 'cause while I'm getting spanked ♪
727
00:28:00,091 --> 00:28:02,525
♪ I can't ignore the feels ♪
728
00:28:02,527 --> 00:28:03,993
♪ but I say ♪
729
00:28:03,995 --> 00:28:07,029
♪ no, no, no, this
is just about sex ♪
730
00:28:07,031 --> 00:28:10,566
♪ and no, no, no, don't
be such a girl, Becks ♪
731
00:28:10,568 --> 00:28:14,503
♪ but then I feel the oxytocin
creeping back to my brain ♪
732
00:28:14,505 --> 00:28:17,907
♪ and all I can do
is sing it again ♪
733
00:28:17,909 --> 00:28:19,241
♪ oh, my God ♪
734
00:28:19,243 --> 00:28:21,251
♪ I think I like you ♪
735
00:28:22,246 --> 00:28:25,080
♪ why can't I just focus
on getting a pounding? ♪
736
00:28:25,082 --> 00:28:28,684
♪ On the bidness goin'
on near my thighs? ♪
737
00:28:28,686 --> 00:28:30,586
♪ But as my body's getting ruined ♪
738
00:28:30,588 --> 00:28:32,555
♪ like, really trashed ♪
739
00:28:32,557 --> 00:28:35,925
♪ I only want to look in your eyes ♪
740
00:28:35,927 --> 00:28:37,893
♪ but then I'm upside down ♪
741
00:28:37,895 --> 00:28:40,296
♪ next to my kitchen sink ♪
742
00:28:40,298 --> 00:28:42,594
♪ and suddenly it's like oh my god ♪
743
00:28:42,619 --> 00:28:45,201
♪ I think I like you ♪
744
00:28:45,203 --> 00:28:48,804
♪ oh, my God, I think I like you ♪
745
00:28:51,369 --> 00:28:54,510
♪ my feelings get
stronger every day ♪
746
00:28:54,512 --> 00:28:56,178
♪ I'm like a little girl ♪
747
00:28:56,180 --> 00:28:58,781
♪ not in a role playing way ♪
748
00:28:59,951 --> 00:29:03,853
♪ are there condoms that
can prevent these feelings?
749
00:29:03,855 --> 00:29:06,388
♪ Is there spermicidal lubricant ♪
750
00:29:06,390 --> 00:29:07,690
♪ that can kill ♪
751
00:29:07,715 --> 00:29:11,696
♪ the fluttering in my heart? ♪
752
00:29:11,721 --> 00:29:14,218
♪ Is there an I-U-D ♪
753
00:29:14,243 --> 00:29:16,000
♪ That can stop the image of ♪
754
00:29:16,033 --> 00:29:17,833
♪ you and me ♪
755
00:29:17,835 --> 00:29:21,969
♪ getting married on a
hillside surrounded by ducks ♪
756
00:29:21,994 --> 00:29:23,783
♪ and then we get into a rowboat? ♪
757
00:29:23,808 --> 00:29:27,720
♪ Oh, my God, I think I like you ♪
758
00:29:27,744 --> 00:29:30,720
♪ Oh, my God, I think I like you ♪
759
00:29:32,314 --> 00:29:35,001
♪ But I say no, no, no ♪
760
00:29:36,553 --> 00:29:38,787
♪ no, no, no ♪
761
00:29:40,324 --> 00:29:42,295
♪ no, no, no ♪
762
00:29:44,051 --> 00:29:45,929
♪ no, no, no. ♪
763
00:29:47,548 --> 00:29:48,485
(Sighs)
764
00:29:51,415 --> 00:29:52,801
(Gasps)
765
00:29:52,803 --> 00:29:53,936
What's wrong?
766
00:29:53,938 --> 00:29:56,038
I got to go. I got to
break into a pie shop.
767
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,273
What?
768
00:29:57,275 --> 00:29:58,556
Good-bye.
769
00:29:59,352 --> 00:30:02,253
Cool, see you. I'm gonna nap now.
770
00:30:05,383 --> 00:30:08,083
(Dog barking in distance)
771
00:30:08,431 --> 00:30:09,906
I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.
772
00:30:09,931 --> 00:30:11,453
You're late. I have been standing
773
00:30:11,455 --> 00:30:13,622
in front of this stupid
pie shop for 20 minutes.
774
00:30:13,624 --> 00:30:14,924
I'm so sorry.
775
00:30:14,926 --> 00:30:16,325
Why do you smell like spit?
776
00:30:16,327 --> 00:30:18,079
No I don't. It's not spit. What?
777
00:30:18,774 --> 00:30:20,821
Okay, I feel stupid in these outfits.
778
00:30:21,232 --> 00:30:22,921
No, you love our stalking outfits.
779
00:30:22,946 --> 00:30:24,453
You always say how slimming they are.
780
00:30:24,478 --> 00:30:26,111
Yeah, but we're stalking
pastry, and it's just...
781
00:30:26,113 --> 00:30:27,279
It's not sexy.
782
00:30:27,281 --> 00:30:30,449
Oh, my God, stop ruining
this. Just come on.
783
00:30:30,451 --> 00:30:32,484
(Sighing)
784
00:30:32,486 --> 00:30:34,142
Come on!
785
00:30:35,623 --> 00:30:37,790
Okay.
786
00:30:48,768 --> 00:30:51,535
Oh, damn it. Oh, no,
I really have to pee.
787
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:52,985
Well, can't you hold it?
788
00:30:53,740 --> 00:30:56,273
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, of
course, I'm sorry. I...
789
00:30:56,330 --> 00:30:59,024
I drank a lot of water before
this because I was nervous.
790
00:31:00,214 --> 00:31:01,981
Uh, okay.
791
00:31:05,790 --> 00:31:06,752
Look at that,
792
00:31:06,754 --> 00:31:08,721
look at that. She's totally
adding something to the crust.
793
00:31:08,723 --> 00:31:11,423
Look. (Gasps) She is
doing something secretive.
794
00:31:11,425 --> 00:31:12,992
She has a secret
ingredient of some kind.
795
00:31:12,994 --> 00:31:15,527
I knew it, I knew it.
796
00:31:15,529 --> 00:31:17,626
But what is... you
think it's extra sugar?
797
00:31:18,132 --> 00:31:19,698
It's lard?
798
00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:21,001
Heroin?
799
00:31:21,435 --> 00:31:22,915
You never know.
800
00:31:25,852 --> 00:31:27,539
The second she's gone, we're going in.
801
00:31:27,541 --> 00:31:28,707
Okay.
802
00:31:28,709 --> 00:31:30,109
Oh!
803
00:31:32,246 --> 00:31:33,610
(Whispering): Okay...
804
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,494
(British accent): The
coast appears to be clear.
805
00:31:37,051 --> 00:31:39,952
- Awesome.
- Let us retrieve the package.
806
00:31:39,954 --> 00:31:42,321
Okay, I will stay here
and be the lookout.
807
00:31:42,323 --> 00:31:43,923
Okay. Great.
808
00:31:43,925 --> 00:31:45,791
All right.
809
00:31:45,793 --> 00:31:47,726
What's... what are you doing?
810
00:31:47,728 --> 00:31:49,194
Rebecca, what are you doing?
811
00:31:49,196 --> 00:31:51,330
Just in case there are lasers.
812
00:31:51,332 --> 00:31:53,999
There aren't... that's so stupid.
813
00:31:54,001 --> 00:31:55,334
Oh, wait. I have an idea.
814
00:31:55,336 --> 00:31:56,435
What?
815
00:31:56,437 --> 00:31:58,103
Okay. Watch this.
816
00:31:58,105 --> 00:31:59,305
No, no.
817
00:31:59,307 --> 00:32:01,106
No, no, d... please don't touch the...
818
00:32:01,108 --> 00:32:02,251
(Exhales sharply)
819
00:32:03,125 --> 00:32:04,825
Okay, we are good on lasers.
820
00:32:05,046 --> 00:32:06,845
Right. Great.
821
00:32:08,716 --> 00:32:10,009
I don't know.
822
00:32:10,626 --> 00:32:12,084
What if it's booby-trapped?
823
00:32:12,086 --> 00:32:13,118
It's a refrigerator.
824
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,087
Just... open the door, Tom Cruise.
825
00:32:15,089 --> 00:32:17,149
You're just, like, no fun right now.
826
00:32:17,415 --> 00:32:18,357
(Sighs)
827
00:32:18,359 --> 00:32:19,458
All right.
828
00:32:19,524 --> 00:32:21,537
(Sings quietly): ♪ Ah... ♪
829
00:32:21,562 --> 00:32:24,163
(singsongy): All right, I got it.
830
00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:28,379
Did you just pee yourself?
831
00:32:28,924 --> 00:32:30,657
I have two kids. I know that face.
832
00:32:30,776 --> 00:32:31,909
No, it's fine. It's
just a little squirt.
833
00:32:31,934 --> 00:32:34,476
My pants got most of
it. Catch this! Wait. Oh.
834
00:32:34,501 --> 00:32:36,735
Okay. Come on.
835
00:32:36,978 --> 00:32:38,043
Okay. Heee!
836
00:32:38,045 --> 00:32:38,911
No, you don't have to...
837
00:32:38,913 --> 00:32:40,245
All right, you know what?
838
00:32:40,676 --> 00:32:42,209
- (Sighs heavily)
- (Clattering)
839
00:32:46,540 --> 00:32:47,639
Okay.
840
00:32:49,001 --> 00:32:50,768
(Sighs) We've got the
secret ingredients,
841
00:32:50,770 --> 00:32:52,970
- so let's figure out what it is.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
842
00:32:52,972 --> 00:32:54,772
You want to Bunsen
burner that thing? Ooh.
843
00:32:54,774 --> 00:32:57,074
Better yet, I have a centrifuge
I bought in Colonial Williamsburg
844
00:32:57,076 --> 00:32:58,742
when I was 12... I've never used it,
845
00:32:58,744 --> 00:33:00,444
but I brought it to West Covina.
846
00:33:00,446 --> 00:33:02,546
Okay, maybe... or just taste
it, just taste it. Okay.
847
00:33:02,548 --> 00:33:04,782
♪ ♪
848
00:33:06,118 --> 00:33:07,423
It's...
849
00:33:08,907 --> 00:33:10,321
Yeah, it's unsalted butter.
850
00:33:10,323 --> 00:33:11,488
Whoa!
851
00:33:12,181 --> 00:33:13,517
Is that common? I don't cook.
852
00:33:13,649 --> 00:33:16,226
Yeah. No, everybody uses it.
853
00:33:16,228 --> 00:33:17,962
She's just a better baker than me.
854
00:33:17,964 --> 00:33:20,564
(Chuckles) And, you
know, that's no secret.
855
00:33:20,566 --> 00:33:22,079
I don't know what I was thinking.
856
00:33:22,401 --> 00:33:23,548
It's okay.
857
00:33:24,537 --> 00:33:25,852
You know what? Screw this.
858
00:33:27,056 --> 00:33:28,907
(Sighs) You don't need
a secret ingredient.
859
00:33:28,932 --> 00:33:32,076
Right? Just like we don't
need a secret ingredient.
860
00:33:32,078 --> 00:33:33,577
We've been having so much fun
861
00:33:33,579 --> 00:33:35,579
without talking about you know who,
862
00:33:35,581 --> 00:33:36,642
and it's been amazing...
863
00:33:37,032 --> 00:33:39,509
Because it doesn't matter what we
do, as long as we do it together.
864
00:33:39,719 --> 00:33:40,784
So...
865
00:33:40,786 --> 00:33:42,987
Forget all I was saying about winning,
866
00:33:42,989 --> 00:33:44,954
and let's just have fun and bake a pie.
867
00:33:46,492 --> 00:33:47,446
Okay.
868
00:33:49,425 --> 00:33:50,688
Okay.
869
00:33:51,150 --> 00:33:52,845
You know, you're right. You are right.
870
00:33:53,632 --> 00:33:55,199
Let's do this.
871
00:33:55,201 --> 00:33:55,899
Yeah.
872
00:33:55,901 --> 00:33:57,101
Okay. Hey, boob five.
873
00:33:57,103 --> 00:33:58,268
- Oh, yeah.
- (Grunts)
874
00:33:58,270 --> 00:34:00,504
- Wow, just... every time.
- Sorry, they're heavy.
875
00:34:01,907 --> 00:34:03,941
(Dog barking in distance)
876
00:34:03,943 --> 00:34:06,110
(TV playing indistinctly)
877
00:34:08,102 --> 00:34:09,735
Hey, I had a thought.
878
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,563
- Hmm?
- Um...
879
00:34:12,421 --> 00:34:14,387
I was thinking that tomorrow night...
880
00:34:14,638 --> 00:34:16,972
You know, before... pound time,
881
00:34:16,997 --> 00:34:20,438
um... I don't know, that
we could go to this drive-in
882
00:34:20,463 --> 00:34:22,029
in Alhambra.
883
00:34:22,461 --> 00:34:26,399
I-I read that they're
showing Casablanca, and...
884
00:34:26,424 --> 00:34:28,999
I just thought it would
be fun for you and I
885
00:34:29,024 --> 00:34:31,142
to spend some... you know, time together
886
00:34:31,167 --> 00:34:32,836
in an outdoor setting.
887
00:34:32,838 --> 00:34:34,872
Or indoors. I mean,
cars are indoors and...
888
00:34:34,874 --> 00:34:37,048
- You get what I'm saying?
- Yeah, sounds like a great idea.
889
00:34:37,073 --> 00:34:37,985
Yeah?
890
00:34:38,484 --> 00:34:40,450
Oh, wait, tomorrow night?
891
00:34:40,554 --> 00:34:41,727
Yeah, do you have work?
892
00:34:42,948 --> 00:34:44,384
Do you have, like, a hot date?
893
00:34:47,309 --> 00:34:49,943
Wait. Seriously, you do?
894
00:34:50,289 --> 00:34:52,423
- You do.
- Oh, well, not exactly.
895
00:34:52,425 --> 00:34:54,491
Hec-Hector wants me
to meet this girl...
896
00:34:55,181 --> 00:34:57,009
Uh-huh, and you said yes?
897
00:34:57,034 --> 00:35:00,642
Well I haven't said
anything either way...
898
00:35:00,691 --> 00:35:01,789
yet.
899
00:35:02,536 --> 00:35:03,902
Uh-huh.
900
00:35:04,806 --> 00:35:06,540
But you didn't say no right away.
901
00:35:06,732 --> 00:35:09,332
Given our history I thought
I should at least...
902
00:35:09,608 --> 00:35:11,063
considering...
903
00:35:13,646 --> 00:35:15,779
Yeah. (Laughs)
904
00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:17,481
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
905
00:35:17,483 --> 00:35:19,650
I-I... absolutely
906
00:35:19,652 --> 00:35:21,652
yes, you should go on a date.
907
00:35:21,654 --> 00:35:24,470
- We are not exclusive.
- Hmm.
908
00:35:24,495 --> 00:35:28,402
Umm, I mean totally. I myself
have like um...
909
00:35:28,427 --> 00:35:31,829
eight dates... lined up like you.
910
00:35:31,831 --> 00:35:32,806
Eight?
911
00:35:32,831 --> 00:35:35,188
Yeah. I got a matinee one day.
912
00:35:35,213 --> 00:35:37,614
I'm, like, on a, um, Broadway schedule.
913
00:35:37,711 --> 00:35:41,045
Oh. Okay, that's cool.
914
00:35:41,070 --> 00:35:43,337
Mm. Mm.
915
00:35:44,288 --> 00:35:45,806
(Smacks lips) So...
916
00:35:46,987 --> 00:35:49,921
You have a...
917
00:35:50,282 --> 00:35:51,384
Great date.
918
00:35:51,625 --> 00:35:53,035
Okay, I will.
919
00:35:53,060 --> 00:35:54,994
And you...
920
00:35:55,121 --> 00:35:56,595
Break a leg?
921
00:35:58,016 --> 00:36:00,183
Yeah. Cool.
922
00:36:01,796 --> 00:36:04,063
_
923
00:36:04,087 --> 00:36:07,117
_
924
00:36:07,142 --> 00:36:09,634
_
925
00:36:09,659 --> 00:36:11,125
(Sighs): You know...
926
00:36:11,466 --> 00:36:14,467
I think this pie could
actually take the cake
927
00:36:14,673 --> 00:36:16,501
First place in cake. It's weird.
928
00:36:16,503 --> 00:36:17,868
- Mm-hmm.
- You okay?
929
00:36:17,893 --> 00:36:19,931
Yeah. Sorry. Feeling a little weird.
930
00:36:19,978 --> 00:36:22,149
- Don't worry. I'm fine.
- Okay. Yeah.
931
00:36:24,281 --> 00:36:25,509
Mmm...
932
00:36:28,110 --> 00:36:30,420
Yup, good mouth feel.
933
00:36:30,422 --> 00:36:32,389
Mm-mm got a nice flaky under-crust.
934
00:36:32,391 --> 00:36:34,424
I'm getting lime, I'm getting cardamom,
935
00:36:34,426 --> 00:36:36,048
I'm getting just a note of cheddar.
936
00:36:36,073 --> 00:36:38,073
- Also...
- You just fill out a card, sir.
937
00:36:38,330 --> 00:36:40,173
Oh. Sorry.
938
00:36:44,236 --> 00:36:45,869
Ooh, what do we
939
00:36:45,871 --> 00:36:47,804
- have here?
- Ooh... lemon meringue!
940
00:36:47,806 --> 00:36:49,139
(singsongy): Sebastian.
941
00:36:49,141 --> 00:36:50,307
(Chuckles)
942
00:36:50,309 --> 00:36:51,642
For me? Thank you.
943
00:36:51,644 --> 00:36:53,577
Mmm...
944
00:36:54,216 --> 00:36:55,548
Mmm...
945
00:36:57,483 --> 00:37:00,117
Oh, damn it... that
woman is a pastry witch.
946
00:37:00,119 --> 00:37:01,196
Ow.
947
00:37:01,782 --> 00:37:03,253
Do you need to sit down?
948
00:37:03,255 --> 00:37:04,955
No. No, no, no.
949
00:37:04,957 --> 00:37:06,024
I'm fine.
950
00:37:06,275 --> 00:37:07,608
Okay.
951
00:37:08,368 --> 00:37:10,127
You know, I'm so glad
we did this together.
952
00:37:10,129 --> 00:37:11,235
You were right about us.
953
00:37:11,908 --> 00:37:13,274
Yeah.
954
00:37:13,799 --> 00:37:14,898
Darryl: Hello, ladies.
955
00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:16,633
I will not be greeting you by name,
956
00:37:16,635 --> 00:37:18,642
not will I be looking
you directly in the eyes,
957
00:37:18,667 --> 00:37:20,200
for I am impartial.
958
00:37:20,306 --> 00:37:22,039
(Whispers): I am so
voting for you ladies.
959
00:37:22,041 --> 00:37:24,541
I love you guys so much.
I love you both a lot,
960
00:37:24,543 --> 00:37:26,910
and I love Paula's pies,
and I just feel so inspired
961
00:37:26,912 --> 00:37:28,579
- Woman: Who's next?
- By your friendship every day.
962
00:37:28,581 --> 00:37:31,081
Judges! Yes, well, I am ready now
963
00:37:31,083 --> 00:37:34,551
to sample Paula's Pretty
Pecan Pie, if I may.
964
00:37:34,553 --> 00:37:36,399
Sebastian, for you.
965
00:37:37,547 --> 00:37:39,392
- Thank you.
- Mmm...
966
00:37:41,727 --> 00:37:43,760
Mmm...
967
00:37:46,465 --> 00:37:48,565
Mmm... mmm...
968
00:37:48,567 --> 00:37:50,000
Oh... mmm...
969
00:37:50,002 --> 00:37:51,401
Oh, my God, they love it.
970
00:37:51,403 --> 00:37:53,670
(Sighs, whispers):
Rebecca, they love it.
971
00:37:54,279 --> 00:37:55,645
(Rebecca thuds)
972
00:37:56,352 --> 00:37:57,595
Oh, my God!
973
00:37:57,879 --> 00:38:00,880
- Honey, what's wrong?
- (Groans)
974
00:38:01,914 --> 00:38:03,360
Hector: Yo, Greggy!
975
00:38:04,033 --> 00:38:05,337
Over here.
976
00:38:09,274 --> 00:38:11,509
- This is Angie.
- Nice to meet you, Greg.
977
00:38:11,533 --> 00:38:13,533
And this is her cousin, Brandy.
978
00:38:13,557 --> 00:38:14,845
Hello Brandy.
979
00:38:14,870 --> 00:38:16,704
Hi, Greg. I've heard a lot about you.
980
00:38:16,729 --> 00:38:18,188
Well, I hope it wasn't all...
981
00:38:20,065 --> 00:38:21,892
_
982
00:38:22,835 --> 00:38:24,642
I'm sorry, I need to go.
983
00:38:24,667 --> 00:38:26,069
Nice meeting you.
984
00:38:26,071 --> 00:38:28,238
(Awkward chuckle): B-bro, so rude.
985
00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:29,940
Is it Rebecca?
986
00:38:29,942 --> 00:38:31,024
I'm sorry. She needs me.
987
00:38:31,985 --> 00:38:33,677
Dude. If you go now, you're done.
988
00:38:33,679 --> 00:38:35,306
You'll never get the upper hand again.
989
00:38:40,819 --> 00:38:42,931
Well, I guess we'll just
have to have a threesome.
990
00:38:43,614 --> 00:38:45,078
Really?
991
00:38:45,457 --> 00:38:46,899
No. She's my cousin.
992
00:38:46,924 --> 00:38:48,691
Gross. Ew.
993
00:38:48,716 --> 00:38:50,767
(Awkward chuckle)
994
00:38:57,697 --> 00:39:00,131
Everything's gonna be okay, cookie.
995
00:39:00,133 --> 00:39:01,666
I am right here.
996
00:39:01,706 --> 00:39:04,040
Oh! And I forgot to tell you we won!
997
00:39:04,439 --> 00:39:07,774
Yeah. Just as they were
dragging your little body away,
998
00:39:07,799 --> 00:39:09,024
they-they announced...
999
00:39:09,202 --> 00:39:11,813
Paula's Pretty Pecan Pie won!
1000
00:39:12,295 --> 00:39:13,540
(Sighs)
1001
00:39:15,682 --> 00:39:18,454
Oh, my poor, sweet,
innocent little thing, Wha...
1002
00:39:18,479 --> 00:39:20,212
What happened to you?
1003
00:39:23,655 --> 00:39:24,907
What are you doing here?
1004
00:39:24,932 --> 00:39:26,665
Rebecca texted me. Is she okay?
1005
00:39:26,690 --> 00:39:29,524
I'm-I'm waiting for the
doctor. Why'd she text you?
1006
00:39:29,549 --> 00:39:31,094
Paula, I came as soon
as I got your text.
1007
00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:32,907
Ah, you told Josh to come.
1008
00:39:32,932 --> 00:39:34,563
- That makes sense.
- Wh-what's wrong with her?
1009
00:39:34,588 --> 00:39:35,415
Is she okay?
1010
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:37,009
Doctor, what's wrong with my cookie?
1011
00:39:37,034 --> 00:39:40,369
I don't know what's wrong with your
cookie, but hers is a mess. (Laughing)
1012
00:39:40,616 --> 00:39:42,482
I'm sorry, that was inappropriate.
1013
00:39:42,507 --> 00:39:44,977
It's her pee-hole that's been destroyed.
1014
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:47,102
What?
1015
00:39:47,127 --> 00:39:49,157
She has a UTI and didn't take any meds,
1016
00:39:49,182 --> 00:39:51,860
so the infection went
to her kidneys and...
1017
00:39:51,885 --> 00:39:54,452
(Imitates explosion) Man down!
1018
00:39:55,324 --> 00:39:56,957
You're a colorful doctor.
1019
00:39:56,982 --> 00:40:00,235
Thank you. I am taking standup
classes at Claremont at night
1020
00:40:00,260 --> 00:40:01,626
when my wife is working.
1021
00:40:02,368 --> 00:40:04,298
I'm pretty alone at night.
1022
00:40:06,695 --> 00:40:08,561
A UTI.
1023
00:40:08,586 --> 00:40:09,819
(Breathy laugh)
1024
00:40:09,844 --> 00:40:12,211
So you are sleeping
with someone. I knew it!
1025
00:40:12,236 --> 00:40:14,110
And after you specifically
1026
00:40:14,135 --> 00:40:15,368
swore that you weren't!
1027
00:40:15,393 --> 00:40:16,792
God, we don't keep secrets!
1028
00:40:16,817 --> 00:40:18,217
They have boundary issues.
1029
00:40:18,451 --> 00:40:20,551
Hey, we don't keep secrets,
1030
00:40:20,576 --> 00:40:22,709
and we don't lie to each other, okay?
1031
00:40:22,734 --> 00:40:24,798
We've discussed it, and we don't do it.
1032
00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:27,501
Sleeping with someone? Who
is Rebecca sleeping with?
1033
00:40:27,526 --> 00:40:30,026
(Chuckles): Yeah! That's
what I would like to know.
1034
00:40:37,118 --> 00:40:39,931
Uh, I sense a truth bomb coming.
1035
00:40:40,153 --> 00:40:41,806
Everyone take cover.
1036
00:40:43,892 --> 00:40:45,696
Uh, yeah, it's me. (Sighs)
1037
00:40:45,705 --> 00:40:46,504
No.
1038
00:40:46,506 --> 00:40:47,471
Yeah.
1039
00:40:48,071 --> 00:40:49,140
No.
1040
00:40:49,595 --> 00:40:51,173
No, it can't be you.
1041
00:40:51,198 --> 00:40:52,264
It's definitely me.
1042
00:40:52,289 --> 00:40:54,056
It's not you. She told me it wasn't you.
1043
00:40:54,081 --> 00:40:55,040
It can't be you.
1044
00:40:55,065 --> 00:40:57,699
- You're sleeping with Rebecca?
- All the time. A lot.
1045
00:40:57,724 --> 00:41:01,126
It's Greg? It's Greg?
You're sleeping with Greg?!
1046
00:41:01,151 --> 00:41:02,610
(Inhales sharply)
1047
00:41:08,443 --> 00:41:10,276
♪ ♪
1048
00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:11,759
Rebecca?
1049
00:41:17,543 --> 00:41:19,910
How could you?
1050
00:41:20,092 --> 00:41:23,126
♪ ♪
1051
00:41:24,384 --> 00:41:26,398
Lot of differences
between men and women.
1052
00:41:26,423 --> 00:41:28,190
Lot of differences, lot of differences.
1053
00:41:28,735 --> 00:41:30,960
As a doctor, I notice
a lot of differences,
1054
00:41:30,985 --> 00:41:32,027
a lot of differences.
1055
00:41:32,501 --> 00:41:34,601
Hey, you ever notice how
when a male patient dies,
1056
00:41:34,603 --> 00:41:36,703
he's all like... (Flatlining tone)
1057
00:41:36,705 --> 00:41:38,571
But when a female patient dies,
1058
00:41:38,573 --> 00:41:40,640
she's like, “beep, beep, beep!”
1059
00:41:40,643 --> 00:41:42,410
(chuckles)
1060
00:41:42,434 --> 00:41:46,915
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --73895
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