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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:07,920 Who are you? 2 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,800 I am a dark spirit 3 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:11,360 that has lived inside of you your whole life. 4 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:14,360 I am Water's Shadow, the shadow of the water. 5 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,200 A shadow in the water? 6 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,080 No, pay attention. The shadow of the water. 7 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,880 Okay, that makes sense. 8 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:24,640 But wait, if you've lived inside of me, 9 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,160 then you know where I came from. 10 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,920 You know who left me at the orphanage. 11 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,680 Yes, and I know you are at a crossroads. 12 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,640 But in order for you to know what path to take, 13 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,560 you must know the road that led you here. 14 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,000 I know the key to your past, 15 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,840 but in order for me to help you, 16 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,440 you have to help me. 17 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,160 There is something I have not seen 18 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,560 because you have not seen it. Something I long to see… 19 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:53,640 The King's Speech. 20 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:55,480 The movie? 21 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,760 Yes, a wonderfully meticulous period drama 22 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:01,080 starring Colin Firth about a king overcoming 23 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,360 his crippling fear of public speaking. 24 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,600 I don't know if I want to see it. 25 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,360 The King's Speech or no answers! 26 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,280 The King's Speech, a story of perseverance… 27 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:27,560 Shit. 28 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,160 - Renaldo? - Hey man, 29 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,160 I wanted to call you earlier, but I ran out of minutes. 30 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:36,240 Are you busy? 31 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,400 I just met a parasitic demon that lives inside me, 32 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:39,880 but I'm free now. What's up? 33 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:43,760 Dude, Bianca Nova wants to work with us! 34 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,800 We have to go to Los Angeles. 35 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,880 It's already 3:42? 36 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,200 It was just 3:41 a minute ago. 37 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,880 If only there was a way of knowing when the minute 38 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,000 was going to change… 39 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,880 They should put a seconds hand on that clock. 40 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,800 Are you almost done? 41 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,360 No, time never ends. 42 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,120 And neither does my energy, 43 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,320 thanks to Hierbalite's Level Up vitamin drink, 44 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,400 a complex mix of B-12 and other natural energy boosters. 45 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,440 What are you doing? 46 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,920 Their advanced formula keeps me hydrated and replenishes… 47 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,360 Tati, we have to sell those. 48 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,840 Since you said we had to get rid of the products, 49 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,000 - I've been drinking them. - How many have you had? 50 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:26,800 - Eighteen? - Today? 51 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,400 No, this morning. 52 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,200 Tati, we have to make a payment soon, 53 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,680 and if you keep drinking them, we won't be able to sell them, 54 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,120 and we'll have to pay for them ourselves. 55 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,680 Why did we have to meet all the way up here? 56 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:40,800 I see. 57 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,400 Since she can't control anything in her life, 58 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:43,880 she's running the seconds hand. 59 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,600 a little task she can control. I like that for her. 60 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,080 But she's 22 minutes off. 61 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,960 Úrsula, you didn't reply to my message. 62 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:55,280 Aren't you excited? 63 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,200 I'm excited, but we can't just go to the US and work. 64 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,080 We need visas, and that's a slow and costly process. 65 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,200 And the other big problem is 66 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,760 I don't want to fill out any forms. 67 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,440 Hold on. I know who we can call. 68 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,480 And another iconic American corporation over here, 69 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,880 and another over here. 70 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,680 Hey, are we out of the Dunkin' ones? 71 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,880 Ambassador Gibbons, the spooky people are here. 72 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,720 It's Renaldo, and some other people. 73 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,440 Okay, everyone leave. 74 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:26,320 Get out unless you're Renaldo, his friends or me. 75 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,880 So, I guess that just leaves you, Jessica. 76 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,600 I'm sorry, this is the end of the road for you. 77 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,880 You led me astray. You told me the bangs were good 78 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,800 when they were a total disaster. 79 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,480 People laughed in the face of America. 80 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,200 I understand. 81 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,480 I won't forget everything that I've learned here, 82 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,200 and even though I won't become the next American ambassador, 83 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,880 I've met some amazing girls. 84 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,600 So hard to let girls go. 85 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,240 - So, what brings you here. - We have… 86 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:00,720 Wait, you know what I need? 87 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,840 I need to find my translating gem. 88 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:08,840 Well, we were offered an amazing opportunity 89 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,480 to work in the United States. 90 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,520 My god, you have to stay downtown. 91 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,480 Sure, but in order to go, we need work visas. 92 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,680 I love that, and I can do that like this. 93 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:21,640 But I have another idea. 94 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,840 I give you the visas, and in return, 95 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,840 you get something I need. 96 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,040 Okay. 97 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,760 It's a… highly sensitive diplomatic matter. 98 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,600 It's top secret, really hush-hush. 99 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,720 I have a week's vacation coming up. I'm going to Tulum, 100 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,680 and I'll finally have some time to just relax. 101 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,200 Just me, the sun, the sand, 102 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,040 and my seven security guards surrounding my private beach. 103 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,400 But, obviously, a week is not enough. 104 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,680 I need to add on an additional week after that. 105 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,520 And there's only one way of doing that, 106 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,760 and that's by faking my own abduction. 107 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,840 Right on. We can take care of that. 108 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,680 Were you thinking like a tradition alien abduction 109 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,880 or something with a ransom? 110 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:04,920 I don't care. Whatever it is, 111 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,120 just make sure everyone at the office sees it, 112 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,400 let them know that I'll be gone for a full two weeks, 113 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,160 and that if I come back with a tan, it's no big deal. 114 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,760 Sure, we can make that clear during the abduction. 115 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,040 I'm not done. 116 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,760 Wait, I am. 117 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,280 Yeah, we'll do all that for you, and you get us the visas. 118 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,080 I'm getting abducted! 119 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,040 And this time it's fine because I organized it. 120 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,560 Great. It's a done deal. 121 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,480 Ambassador Melanie, since you're going to Tulum, 122 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,800 you'll probably want to lose, gain, or maintain weight. 123 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,280 I have a great product that… 124 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,120 Yes! Whatever it is, yes! 125 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,440 Yeah, the one about the king and the speech. 126 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,720 I think it won an Oscar a few years ago. Do you have it? 127 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,640 Andrecito, my son… 128 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:47,840 Yes, Mother… or are you? Et cetera. 129 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,880 What's this about you not marrying Juan Carlos? 130 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,280 I'm focusing on other things. 131 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,920 Besides, I don't think I'm ready for that. 132 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,640 Did you not like the ring? 133 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,520 Of course, I liked the ring, Father. 134 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,000 It's just, well… 135 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,200 Why do you care so much? 136 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,200 Maybe you should start to care. 137 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,200 Here you are in this beautiful home, 138 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:09,080 enjoying the beautiful pool on this beautiful plot of land. 139 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,880 And all thanks to the family business. 140 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,640 And for the family business to thrive, 141 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,280 it needs to expand. And what better way to expand 142 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,960 than through the union of chocolate and cookies? 143 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,480 It's not an unreasonable request. 144 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:24,000 We've given you so much 145 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:25,480 and never asked for anything in return. 146 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,080 Plus, you like that boy. 147 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,120 And if you like these things, 148 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,520 it'd be a shame if they went away… 149 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,200 Is that a threat? You wouldn't dare. 150 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,840 Yes, son, we would. 151 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,240 As a matter of fact, we've taken full control of your finances. 152 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:45,720 Every penny you spend will need our approval. 153 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,040 Like Britney Spears. 154 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,640 Like Britney Spears, yes. 155 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,800 Until you prove you're no longer reckless. 156 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,160 I'm leaving. Bye, Mom! 157 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:04,880 Where are you going dressed like that? 158 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,480 Mom, I already told you. I'm a Red Bull girl now. 159 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,600 I've dreamt of being a Red Bullette my whole life. 160 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,640 First Hierbalite and now this? No. 161 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,160 Mom, Hierbalite was just a phase. 162 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,040 Red Bull is my real passion. It gives me wings. 163 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,160 No. Go back to your room. Now. 164 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:28,520 So, I need you here when I get back to help unload groceries. 165 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,680 I don't want you complaining that the ice cream melted again. 166 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,920 - Okay. - And I have to tell you, 167 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,400 the pretty neighbor came looking for you again. 168 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:37,760 She said she wants to sleep with you, 169 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:38,960 but hasn't had the chance yet. 170 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,080 I think it's time for you to sleep with a girl. 171 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,200 Mom, I already told you. I'm not interested in sex. 172 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,120 Horror is my only passion. 173 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,040 How many times do I have to say it? 174 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,320 Plus, the only thing I care about right now 175 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:52,200 is getting to Bianca Nova. 176 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,400 Please stop trying to distract me with that. 177 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,080 Alright. 178 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,040 Anyways, as I was saying, 179 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,000 Melanie wants us to fake an abduction. 180 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:05,040 What if we trap her in a mirror? 181 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,120 I know I pitch this for every gig, 182 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,760 but think this time, it actually fits. 183 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,000 You mean like a cursed mirror sort of thing 184 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,280 with a bizarre parallel universe inside it? 185 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:14,320 Exactly. 186 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,280 Let me see how we could do that. I got it. 187 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,960 If we find a little room where we can hide, 188 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,720 we could use one of those two-way mirrors 189 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,480 and build a mechanism to slide the mirror out 190 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,760 so the ambassador can enter our secret room. 191 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:30,200 That's perfect. 192 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,240 What do you think, Andrés? 193 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:37,840 Andrés? 194 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,040 I'm having second thoughts about the engagement. 195 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,200 To make a long story short… 196 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,880 actually, it's a pretty short story… 197 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,760 my parents will cut me off if I don't marry Juan Carlos. 198 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,640 Dude… You shouldn't marry him for money. 199 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,960 You have us. You don't need any of that stuff. 200 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,800 I don't know. Maybe you're right. 201 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,600 Look, Andrés… all my life, I've busted my ass working. 202 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,840 Sometimes, I can barely pay my bills, 203 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,120 but I'm independent. 204 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,480 Meanwhile, you're bound to your parents' will. 205 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,400 Is marrying Juan Carlos worth it? 206 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,920 Sure, you're not gonna live in a mansion, 207 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,040 and have nice clothes, and go on spectacular trips, 208 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,160 but is it worth sacrificing your freedom 209 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:16,400 just for some luxuries? 210 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,880 - I'll marry you. - Thank you for cooperating. 211 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,520 Love wins. 212 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,480 But it's a "yes" with an asterisk: 213 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:28,000 I'll marry you, but I'll continue doing my spooky stuff. 214 00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:30,920 I trust that your priorities will change once we are married. 215 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,720 Well, while I have you here, I need your opinion 216 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,760 on my 2019 Latin Webbies Awards speech. 217 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,120 I have to wow them. 218 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:42,080 "Esteemed fellow influencers, it's an honor to speak 219 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,240 to the most successful people on YouTube. 220 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,560 We are successful because we are beautiful, 221 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,520 and we are beautiful because we are good…" 222 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,400 Hello to all my fans. 223 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,880 Thank you so much for watching my GoFundMe video. 224 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,120 So, like, what happened is that I was on my way 225 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,640 to give canned goods to a church and out of nowhere, 226 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,960 an airplane hits me like, bam, on the head. 227 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,440 You know, like a bitch. 228 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,600 And, anyway, click the link in my description 229 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,640 so you can see my other GoFundMe video 230 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:11,040 where my TV was taken from me by a large tornado. 231 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,320 Thank you and God bless. 232 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,000 Wow. You got so many done today. 233 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,360 Every time you open your mouth, 234 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,240 all I hear is "bitch, bitch, bitch." 235 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:23,960 That's too bad. I'm sorry. 236 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,120 I can't take all this abuse. 237 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,400 That just… 238 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,040 Here, you can watch it. 239 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,880 Tico. Tico! Tico, there you are. 240 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,960 I've been knocking and knocking on every door. 241 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,280 Excuse me, can you please keep it down? 242 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:42,640 Sorry. 243 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,120 I found him! The man I've been looking for. 244 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,600 The man who saved my life. 245 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:50,120 I cannot thank you enough 246 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:54,760 for reigniting the flame of inspiration in me. 247 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:58,160 Now, what should this movie be about? 248 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,760 I don't even wanna know who this woman is, 249 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,360 but it is clear you are using again. 250 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,160 I never used. 251 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,400 Let's get to the business of creating. 252 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,680 Now, what should this movie be about? 253 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:15,640 I'm not really creative, 254 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,640 but my nephew's coming with his friends. 255 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:18,800 We can wait for him. 256 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:23,520 No, no, no, no. No. If we don't start writing today, 257 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:26,520 I'm gonna go home and swallow a bowl of marbles. 258 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,520 Three o'clock? That can't be right. 259 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:34,000 Well, I hope it's right. I just had lunch. 260 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,280 - Hello. - Thank you for coming all the way up here. 261 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,600 I think you're really gonna like Hierbalite's Nutri-Boost Powder, 262 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,680 which regenerates at the cellular level. 263 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,760 All our products are very healthy 264 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,360 and come with a guarantee… 265 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:52,520 Excuse me. 266 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:56,440 Welcome to Tati. It's three o'clock. 267 00:11:56,560 --> 00:11:59,240 Hi, I'm calling from Hierbalite. Your payment… 268 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,520 Please, I'm trying to make a sale 269 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,280 while I manage time… call my sister. 270 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,360 Hello? 271 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,920 Hi, I'm calling from Hierbalite Collections. 272 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,600 - Is this Miss Úrsula I'm speaking to? - Yes. 273 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,200 Well, good evening to you and your family. 274 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,040 This is just a friendly reminder that you're out of time. 275 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,720 Where's my money, bitch? 276 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,520 Do you know who the fuck you're talking to? 277 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,480 I'm the Hierbalite CEO, Mark Stevens, 278 00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:28,280 and I personally handle collections. 279 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,080 Chasing down people like you is what I live for. 280 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,120 You have five days to come up with my fucking money. 281 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,240 Please remain on the line for a brief survey 282 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:38,520 about our call today. 283 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,440 Mark's threats were: A, concise and articulate, 284 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,160 B, a little vague and confusing, C… 285 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,080 - BUY MIRROR - ABDUCT MELANIE 286 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,320 - WALK FRUTSI - GET VISAS 287 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,120 Hi, Renaldo. 288 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,640 - Hi. - I'm Carmencita, your neighbor. 289 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:56,920 Your mom let me in. 290 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:58,680 I'm so happy to finally meet you! 291 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,760 I've come by so many times, but you're always busy. 292 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,520 Your mom is so sweet, and your dog is so cute. 293 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,480 I love families. 294 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,200 What are you up to? 295 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,360 I'm killing time… between spooks. 296 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:13,880 What do you mean? 297 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,840 My friends and I have a horror group, 298 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:20,400 and when I'm not doing horror, I'm waiting for more horror. 299 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:25,760 Yeah, your mom said you're crazy about that spooky stuff… 300 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,720 That's why I got you this. It's a present! 301 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,720 God is love 302 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,280 The Bible says so 303 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,640 God is love 304 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,080 Saint Pablo says so, too 305 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,200 God is love 306 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,200 Search for him And you'll see 307 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:46,440 In 1 John 4:8 308 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,560 In 1 John 4:8 309 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:56,280 Okay. 310 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,120 Well, since you're not busy right now, 311 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,160 I'd love to have sex with you. 312 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,600 Thanks, but no thanks. 313 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:09,200 It's really nice of you to offer yourself like this, 314 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,600 but you're trying to tap into a part of me 315 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:15,640 that I've locked away and don't intend to deal with 316 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,240 for a very, very long time. 317 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,440 Okay. Well, I understand, Renaldo. 318 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,560 I guess I'll have to move again. 319 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,640 Hopefully, my next neighbor will have time for Carmencita. 320 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,840 - Yes, right? - Right? 321 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,360 - See ya! Take care! - Yep. Bye. 322 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,200 I'm sorry. I think those are mine. 323 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:10,320 Excuse me? 324 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,680 Don't worry, if you want, you can keep them for 190 pesos. 325 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:16,200 What is it? 326 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,760 Hi, Andrés. It's just gonna be you and me. 327 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,680 Renaldo is busy, and Úrsula is selling Hierbalite. 328 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,600 I'm not here yet. 329 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:34,800 No worries. 330 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,200 I'm running late. 331 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,640 Take your time. I'm already here but I can wait. 332 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,200 Hi, Tati. 333 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,960 Hi. Today was tough. I got fired again. 334 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,640 Apparently, I can't do one job while I'm at my other job. 335 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,400 Hello! Look who showed up! 336 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,160 - Hi, Pony. - Hello. 337 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,240 - How are you? - Hi, Pony. 338 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,720 You know each other? 339 00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,200 Of course! She took all the photos for our catalog. 340 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,360 There's some new mirrors that arrived 341 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:02,640 that you're gonna love. 342 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,720 We have top frames, 343 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,840 bottom frames, 344 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,080 the dominatrix, 345 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,360 and my favorite… the Queen Sofia. 346 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:12,440 I love it. 347 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,160 And this little purse? 348 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,080 Someone's going shopping! 349 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,000 Well, I'll let you browse in peace, 350 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,200 and if you need anything, let me know. 351 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,200 Like ecstasy, for example. 352 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,840 I'm kidding… just little jokes I make. 353 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,320 Not even Tati buys ecstasy anymore. 354 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,520 Well, we have to find a mirror that… 355 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,080 What's that? 356 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,080 What's Pony hiding behind this curtain? 357 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,160 It might be too big, but I think… It's perfect. 358 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,600 What am I doing with my life? 359 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,600 Horror is your passion. 360 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:47,840 You all know what you're doing with your lives, but… 361 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,800 What am I doing? Where am I going? 362 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,520 I can't break in shoes. I can't count steps. 363 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,920 I can't help people lose, gain, or maintain weight. 364 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,240 I can't keep time. 365 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,120 I fail at everything I try. 366 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,960 I mean, where will I be in five years? 367 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,240 What if it rains? 368 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:03,920 I don't have those kinds of shoes. 369 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,200 Some people enjoy the journey more than the destination. 370 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:08,560 I just consoled you. 371 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,880 You know, my dream is to be Cirque de Soleil. 372 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,280 You want to be in Cirque de Soleil? 373 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,160 No, I want to be Cirque du Soleil. 374 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:16,400 You want to be a gymnast? 375 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,040 No… well, part of me would have to be. 376 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,680 The rest would be the tents, the audience, 377 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,080 the shirts they sell on your way out… 378 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,000 The parking, the receipts for the shirts… I see. 379 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,560 Look, Tati, there are many mysteries in the world, 380 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:31,720 but if there's one thing I'm sure of, 381 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,880 it's that you will be Cirque du Soleil. 382 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,560 Pony! 383 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,200 - We'll take this one. - Perfect! 384 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,520 That one is cursed. I'm just letting you know 385 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,120 because some people don't like that. 386 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,280 Cursed… 387 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,560 - It doesn't matter. We'll take it. - Perfect. 388 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,680 And then the werewolf… 389 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,120 What's a fun, interesting job? 390 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,320 A job? 391 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,080 A parking valet. 392 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,760 That's good. Yes. 393 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:03,720 So… so then, the werewolf is a valet. 394 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,400 And then… it's nighttime. 395 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,280 That's always good. Nighttime is good. 396 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,920 And then, he goes to the valet stand, 397 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,040 and all of a sudden, he… he can't find the keys. 398 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,520 And so, the lady, she's really mad. 399 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,360 She says, "I've been waiting here for two hours. 400 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,080 And I've got another party to go to, 401 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,440 and you're holding me back, and I should sue you." 402 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,840 This is so good. It's very real. 403 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,360 And then she says, "Are you okay? 404 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,000 Why are you a werewolf?" 405 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,120 "Why are you a werewolf?" 406 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:40,840 Who should the girl be? 407 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:42,760 Anne Hathaway? 408 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,480 That is… that's just wonderful. 409 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,320 I'm so tired. You type. 410 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:55,880 Beep, beep. 411 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,840 Tico, are you gonna make it? 412 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,080 I can't right now. I'm helping my friend, 413 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:02,880 make a movie to write. 414 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:05,960 Tico, what little adventure have you fallen into now? 415 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,160 Don't worry. I sent someone else, okay? 416 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,040 Hello. It sucks that you're all by yourself right now 417 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,560 because your owner was talking to me earlier 418 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,560 and calling me something like a bitch, 419 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,160 but I guess you're the bitch now, right? 420 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,960 Well, thank you, Úrsula. I had a lot of fun. 421 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,880 You know what I was thinking? 422 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,880 That we could be together forever. 423 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,560 Carmencita… 424 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,360 I'm gonna have to say no. 425 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,480 You still have a lot to learn. 426 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:57,720 Well… I guess it's time for Carmencita to move again. 427 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,000 Because that's the only way to stay a virgin. 428 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,600 Because when you move, no one knows your past. 429 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,840 - Whatever you like, Carmencita. - Of course, well… 430 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,880 I hope your horror stuff goes well. 431 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,800 Take care. 432 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:12,520 Bye. 433 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,680 My god, it's so big! 434 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,320 And it's for Melanie. 435 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,240 - We have to tell Melanie. - Melanie! 436 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,560 Melanie, you have a package. 437 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,000 When Tati counts to three, 438 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,320 Andrés will release the smoke to distract them 439 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,480 and then Úrsula receives Melanie when she crosses to this side. 440 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,560 No? Úrsula? 441 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:40,920 - Yeah? - Yes, we'll receive her. 442 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,360 Look at that ring! 443 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,240 Who's the lucky girl? 444 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,040 It's true… I decided I'm going to get married 445 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,480 despite your very vocal and frankly, 446 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,240 very on-point disapproval of the situation. 447 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,520 Listen, please do me a favor and let's finish this gig well, 448 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,840 - and we'll talk later. - That's fine with me. 449 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:58,520 Ambassador Gibbons, 450 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:00,280 how do you think history will remember 451 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,080 your country's response about the border crisis? 452 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,480 Border crisis? 453 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,120 I thought this was for People en Español 454 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,040 and you were going to ask me what's in my bag. 455 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,520 Melanie, a package just came for you. 456 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,560 Thank God. 457 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,680 She's here! She's here! 458 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,720 A present for me? 459 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,040 I wasn't expecting anything at all today. 460 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:26,000 And right before my one week vacation. Who's it from? 461 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:27,760 The card just says, "Hell". 462 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,360 Fun! 463 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,080 It's a mirror. 464 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,200 It's a beautiful mirror. 465 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,200 But maybe it's a political statement 466 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:39,680 forcing us to examine ourselves. 467 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,160 No, get rid of it. 468 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,360 No, it's okay. It's just a mirror. Okay. 469 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,360 This is going great, just like we planned. 470 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,000 You're coming with me, Ambassador Melanie, 471 00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:53,640 for two weeks. 472 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,720 Your one week of vacation, plus an additional week. 473 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,480 What happened? Where is she? 474 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:00,720 My god! She's gone. 475 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,320 Who's gonna tuck us in at night? 476 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,600 Is she here? She's not outside. 477 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,240 Úrsula, what happened? 478 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,360 I don't know. I'm just as confused as you are. 479 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,400 I think she's actually trapped. 480 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,440 It was an enchanted mirror. 481 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:17,800 I bought an enchanted mirror because it was the most beautiful. 482 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,120 Andrés, come on… 483 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,760 We agreed you'd buy a normal mirror. 484 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,080 Úrsula, see what happens when no one listens 485 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:25,680 and everyone's doing their own thing? 486 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,480 You were supposed to be on top of this. 487 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,960 Right, of course because everything 488 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,080 is always my responsibility. 489 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:31,200 What the hell happened? 490 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,440 Where's that voice coming from? 491 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:36,520 There she is! 492 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,960 Okay, now I'm stuck in some kind of mirror void? 493 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,000 I thought you guys were makeup artists! 494 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,000 Yeah, I mean, that's what we do… 495 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,200 part of what we do. 496 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,640 Well, this sucks. Now I'm gonna miss my flight. 497 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,360 Ambassador Melanie, I understand that you're upset, 498 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:54,760 and we're very sorry. But we still need those visas. 499 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,480 Honey, I'm stuck in a mirror. I'm not giving you shit. 500 00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,160 You get me out of here, I'll think about it. 501 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,480 We've gotta get her out of there. 502 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:01,760 You better get me… 503 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,640 I think we can get her out through the mirror she went in. 504 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:12,040 We can't go out there, they're frolicking. 505 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,720 We have to wait until the embassy closes. 506 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,360 Forget what I just said. Now they're sleeping. 507 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:20,720 Careful, you have to slide it! 508 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,400 Fuck. 509 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:34,640 Well, now she's trapped. 510 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,160 Let's go. 38504

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