Original subtitles

Isn't that work completely mad, making us

rehearse?Well, we know she calls.

Are they both in there?Yeah. And

one of them smells funky.

Kangar. No problem, man.

Knock, knock. It's the rough pack.

Hey, rock 'n' rollers. I'll be taking

your time to guitars.

You got a problem with that?

Looks clear, huhGood. We don't want to be

running into you-know-who again.

Now, who could he be talking about?

Uh-oh. Hey. Up there. Bad

timing, pops. You don't miss

me.

Hey, watch the gear!

They'll be stuck for a while. I

magnetized the door. Sorry I can't stay,

but I got a 911 across town. See ya.

Every time we make a move, he's always

there. She'll hide.

You're oh to hear Mon.

Sharon, pops call you too?What's going on?

Relax, baby brother. Dad just wants us to

meet an old friend of his, that's all.

That's all?I get an urgent 911 page for

that?Who is it this time?Another Marine

buddy?I'll just bet this dude puts the

being boring. Uh, I don't

think so, Virgil. Kids, I'd like you to

meet an old friend of mine.

Shaquille O'Neal.

Huh

Good to meet you, Mr. O'Neal. I'm Sharon.

Good to meet you, too. And it's Shaq.

What's up, little man?You must be... Shaq?

No, I'm Shaq. You got to be Virgil. Heard

a lot about you. And

this is Shaq. How do you?Why do you?

YouI met Shaq at a basketball camp a

while back when he was just about your

age. Yeah, Mr. H was our counselor.

Used to call him the big man. We've been

tight ever since. Shaquille's in town on

a publicity junket for the weekend, but

he's volunteered to do a basketball mini

camp while he's here. It's going to be a

big surprise for the kids. Cool.

So, Virgil, your dad says you got a nice

handle. Ha! The only handle Virgil's got

is attached to the refrigerator. Zip it,

she who dribbles without a ball. Got some

time for a little horse?Me?Hooping it up

with you?Beth?No, no, that conflicts with

his Good Day Dakota appearance. No, then

he has that radio interview. Oh, light

bulb. We can squeeze you in between the

mall opening and the mayor's fundraiser.

Say around two?That's what I'm here for.

Kiss, kiss. Well. Intro time.

Tracy Flackman, Mr. O'Neill's East Coast

public relations liaison. And you must be

Mr. Hawking. Hawkins. Yes, of

course. Oopsie. Tracy.

Jared. Darling, where have you been

hiding?I've been trying to reach you all

morning. She's a little high-strung. No,

you're not interrupting anything. We'll

be there in 10 minutes. Ciao. Guess

what?They've rescheduled the photo shoot

at the Marina. The whales are available

after all. But Shaq and I were going

to show some hoes. I know. Shall we?

Sorry, Virgil. I'm gonna have to

rain-check our game. Yeah, sure. But hey,

I've kept tonight free for a quiet dinner

with friends. How does that sound?Chowing

down with the diesel?Fat instead of fat.

Good. Dinner's at my hotel. Eight

o'clock. Catch you tonight.

Man, my dinner with Shaq. Is it too late

to have Sharon disown?Hey! Ow! Dad!

You do the crime, you do the time.

Ah

Ah, the sweet smell of freedom. And chili

cheese fries. Burger fool, straight

ahead. Ah Eat on your own

time, ferret. But Hyde, I'm starving.

Listen, Rodent, the only thing on our

to-do list is static. I'm sick and tired

of this. He's

always getting the drop on us. But this

time, we're gonna track him down, and

then we'll have superhero for supper.

Take a whip.

That way. Let's hit it.

I still can't believe it. FaceTime with

Shack Daddy, the diesel. Thanks for the

hookup, Mr. H. Yeah, Pops. Thanks a lot.

I know that you and Virgil are both big

fans. I'm sure there's enough Shack to go

around. I wonder how he'll sign my

poster. To Richie, from Shaq. Uh,

that's weak. Uh, from one superstar to

another, one love. The diesel. Oh, yeah,

I'm feeling that. He's got on a

lot of aftershave, but he's in there all

right. Hold on.

We'll go on the side door.

Excuse me, we're here for the O'Neill

dinner?Right this way.

Huh

Quiet dinner, huh

Hey, guys. Hey, Shaq. I'm sorry this

turned into such a big blowout. What can

I tell you?Tracy strikes again.

Do I know you?HuhI was so

tall. Uh, his name's Rich. He's attached

to us, like fungus.

Nice to meet you, Rich. Listen, I just

got this new basketball video game in my

suite. Wanna check it out?Yeah! If

we could just sneak out of here. Oh,

Shaquille.

Remember, we're mingling. But... I've got

the president of the local ladies'

auxiliary waiting. Over here. So

close.

You sure he's in there?Oh, yeah, the

place reeks of static.

Then put this on and find him.

Why do I have to do all the hard stuff?

Oh, that's right. Shaquille has made this

event a big success, I'm telling you.

This party's about to blow up.

HuhI get that all the time.

De-stress, V. Might as well get our grubs

on while we wait for Shaq.

Oh, no! His ferret face!

Yo, V, what's ferret doing here?

He's got a bad feeling about this.

Static! Gotcha!

What's going on?Hi! Kangar!

I had him, Hyde! I had him! Excuse

me, but this happens to be a private

party. Where's

static?I thought I had him. I mean, maybe

he was right there.

Burger! Ricky!

Hurry! Got him, Mr. H!

That way!

Uh-oh.

You're not leaving till I say so.

We're going up again.

Hey driver, let's go.

Man, what was that about?Welcome

to Dakota.

It's believed that the Metahumans crashed

Mr. O'Neill's party in an attempt to rob

his high-profile guests. Though his two

cohorts managed to escape, Rough Pack

member Ferret was taken into custody.

Hey, that's the dude who sniffed on me.

He wasn't robbing the place. Um,

maybe he had a bad head cold. Nah, it was

more like he was hunting somebody down.

dude was on a serious search mission.

Hello?Yes, Tracy.

No, Tracy. I've had my fill of paparazzi

for one night. But Shaquille, the media

are clamoring to hear how you

single-handedly captured that icky ferret

person. Gee, I wonder who told him that.

Now don't be a cranky pants. I bet an

interview will make you feel better. How

fast can you get here?Hello?

Hello What?

I think we got a bad connection. I'll

I'll call you tomorrow. Wait. Where are

you?Oh, jinkies.

Freedom. That is, if you don't mind me

staying here tonight. Are you kidding?The

night's still young, Shaq. Oh, yeah. Up

for a little two-on-one?12 midnight is

not young. You can play in the morning if

Shaq has time. Otherwise, we're all going

to bed. Aww. And you're going

home in the limo.

Ah, is that a dreamy

cream donut with cherries frosting?You'll

have plenty to eat when we reach the

state pen. Look out!

ah

Thanks, fellas. Who's up for a donut run?

I'm talking worldwide,

all-purpose war dropped to the floor...

Shaq?Shaq!

Shaq!

Shaq!

You're still here. Mm-mm-mm. Can't

pass up homemade pancakes. At least

someone appreciates my cooking. Yeah?

Well, look at the size of him. He'd eat

the toaster if you put some salt on it.

So, Verge, we got a hour before I gotta

be at the center. Still wanna play some

ball?

Can Mariah sing?

She's back. Is there another

way out of here?I

don't see any press, people. Come on.

Safe at last. Sometimes you feel like

you're being hunted, you know?

Whoa! Did I just get a whiff?Come on.

Let's find him and finish him.

I feel bad about leaving Sharon to deal

with Tracy like that. Don't even stress,

Diesel. They're probably trying to out

talk each other right now.

At

last. What is this place?The old

community center. It's deserted. They

mostly use it for storage. I figured no

one's around, so we'll have some woo-wee

privacy. Look at you.

Someone's drinking his milk. Morning,

ma'am. Hey, Shaq. Heck

of a game last week. Thanks.

Yo, Shaq. Yo. Man, where do they

come from?Seems like everyone's after you

24/7. How can you stand it?Well, it's

like I have to be two people, you know.

First is Shaq, the superstar. Then it

spans on my left. Press on my right. The

coach, the agent. Oops, another fan. Just

when things get a little too hectic, I

break out, find some daylight and turn

back into Shaquille. Just your regular 7

foot guy. You see, the trick is balancing

the two lives. I love being Shaq. But

if I don't take time off for Shaquille,

it's not worth it. Know what I mean?Yeah,

I got you. Shaq time

again.

Let's see you D up on this. No

chance.

I call that my V spin. HmmYou ready to

start playing, Mr. Spin?

Gee, I thought we already were.

On second thought, it's getting kind of

late, Shaq. Maybe we should go meet my

pops. Like now. You sure?'Cause my

watch... Stop. Let's run.

He's really close, hike. He stole freaks

from the hotel. Uh, running

might be good after all. This way.

I locked it. You stay here and I'll lead

him away. Wait a second. That ferret guy

was sniffing you out last night, wasn't

he?Why?It's a long story. Very long.

He's locked in. Hide. You hear that

static?We're going to pull your plug.

Static. Remember what you said about

living a double life?Let's just say I can

really relate. I see.

Well, we'll just keep that on the down

low. Right now, I think you should get

some help while I try to hold him off.

I'll do that.

Where's Static?I think he got bored and

went home. I'm getting bored, too.

Keeping secrets, huhBarry, chew it out

of him. That shack!

Right.

I've got one word for you. Mouthwash.

Gotta be careful with those machines. Ohh

You okay?Yeah, they knocked me out of

power. Gotcha now,

tough guy.

Way to play DB, man.

Now I get a free throw, Leatherface.

He stops! He pops!

He hits!

Looks like we got in the game after all.

How's the weather up there?Always wanted

to say that.

And I want to especially thank Mr. H for

having me here today.

Unfortunately, I have a plane to catch,

but I take some great memories with me,

mixing it up with static. Hanging with

the Hawkins, but the best memory,

this fast game of hoops I had with some

dude called Mr. Spin.

Now he's a real player.