All language subtitles for MILF.Manor.S02E08.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

[Rebecca] They don't know
what they're in for.

-[Shauna] They don't.
-[Rebecca] We're coming
to get them.

-[Shauna] Yes.
-[Rebecca] Here we come.

-[Shauna] We're here.
-[Rebecca] Woo!

[chuckles]

What in the world?

Wow.

My name is Rebecca.
I'm 48 years old.

My name is Shauna. I'm 44.

Shauna is [bleep].

That girl is a woman.

[Kelle] Last night,
I have the two hottest guys

in the house
interested in me.

But now that
the new girls just came in,

Connor and Joey
are like literally drooling

on the floor.

You have really pretty eyes,
by the way.

-Oh, thank you. So do you.
-[Connor] Thank you.

When I first walk in,
definitely Anthony

was a great first impression.

But that's when I see Connor,
I'm like... [gasps]

-[Shauna] Lost.
-I know. [laughs]

Lost for the sauce.

[Stacy] Looking good,
smelling good.

-What's going on
with you, Chicago?
-Thank you.

Girl, look at...
Look at this [bleep].

Look at this [bleep].

[laughs] Oh, we're gonna have
some problems, folks.

Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?

-Look how beautiful you look.
-[laughs]

[Lannette] He's such
an authentic, loving guy

and he makes me feel safe.

[moans]

Congratulations,
Anthony and Joey.

[cheers and applause]

Now, take a moment to decide

which two lucky ladies

you wanna take
on a date tonight?

My choice for my date
is going to be Shauna.

-[cheers and applause]
-[Anthony] All right.

And I'm gonna take Rebecca.

-[cheers and applause]
-[man] All right.

-[Joey]
You guys have so much fun.
-[Anthony] All right.

[Lannette] There was
absolutely an expectation

that if he won
this challenge,

he would want
to spend time with me.

I'm not good enough.
I'm not pretty enough.

I'm not thin enough.

I'm not successful enough.

I'm not enough.

[upbeat music playing]

[Lannette] Why am I putting
myself through this?

Yeah.

Anthony and Joey
won the challenge.

Now, Anthony is on a date
with Rebecca

and, of course,
Lannette feels like crap.

That's [bleep] up.

We're only reacting
naturally to the things

that we have experienced

-with men. Yeah.
-That we've learned.

A man with a penis will do
what a man with a penis does.

He will...
[makes radar sounds]

It's a radar.
[makes radar sounds]

We're not crazy.

We're not irrational.

-We're having--
-We might be crazy.

Well, that's true.

And I'm definitely not
regulated most of the time.

[laughter]

[upbeat music playing]

[Anthony] What are we gettin'
involved in now?

[Rebecca] I know.
What's happening?

Anthony and Joey
chose Shauna and me.

Yay!

And I am so excited

I get to go on a date
on my first night.

Oh, I love it.

Oh, my God. I love it.

Anthony, he's the cook.

He's Italian.

He's fit, good personality.

[Joey]
Oh, I'm looking at paint.

-I see paint.
-[Rebecca] I love it.

Oh, my God.

And I can't wait
to see where it goes.

I'm so excited.

"Welcome to your double date.

You are all about
to unleash your creativity

and connect with one another
on a whole new level,

through the art
of body painting."

-Wow.
-Hmm.

I'm starting
to get nervous again

'cause I'm starting
to get flashbacks

of tantric yoga

and it's starting
to flow back

into my thought process.

So I was planning
an escape route

right out of this date

because I cannot
be rolling around

-with my dad again.
-No.

-No.
-No. It wasn't gonna happen.

-"Go get changed...
-[Rebecca] We use

-our body parts to paint.
-into provided the clothes.

-[Anthony] Oh, my God.
-And time to use

-your bodies for art. Enjoy."
-This is exciting.

-All right.
-I love it.

Oh, my... You ever do

-anything like this?
-No.

-I've never done it.
-This is a new date.

I was like excited about it.

Especially that
you were on your own section

and I was on my own section.

It was a little uncomfortable,
but we're like,

"You're focused on your canvas

and I'm focused on my canvas."

-Yeah.
-Yeah. That's all.

[singer]♪ You've been so down ♪

♪ All up in your song ♪

♪ For way too long ♪

[Connor] Look at all this.

[Kelle] Wow.

I know. We got it all set up.

[Kelle] I love this. Thanks.

[Connor] So let's get to know

each other a little bit better

-and enjoy some snacks.
-[Kelle] Okay.

Perfect.

I can't tell if Joey
has a thing for me or not.

We were just making out
last night,

and this new girl comes in,

and he all the sudden wants
to take her on a date,

like I'm like chopped liver
or something.

So now that Connor is here,

like I'm moving on.

Sorry, babe.

So what made
you like come back

for a second time?

The first time,

-I went there with my son.
-[Connor] Yeah.

[Kelle] I was like,
"You know what? I wanna see

if there's a connection,"
and there was.

And then nothing really
happened outside the house.

So I have been single

and I am in such
an amazing place.

It's like I'm ready

-to have a partner.
-Yeah.

And I'm drawn
to younger men...

-[Connor] Yeah.
-because they have
a young spirit.

-[Connor] Yeah. For sure.
-They like to have fun.

And I'm just like...
I'm attracted to energy.

I'm not just attracted
by someone's looks.

So you weren't just
attracted by me

-showing up on the Jet Ski?
-I mean, you're super-hot,

so... I'm not gonna lie.

The initial attraction
was there.

Your eye contact. Your energy.

You have a lot
of amazing things

going for you, for sure.

Yeah?

I'm here
because I wanna find love.

Kelle definitely
is attractive

and she's got good energy.

I'm a big believer
in just energies.

I think energies attract

and I think that
we could have a good time.

So like who...

If you could
like describe yourself,

like who are you?

I feel like a dreamer

would be like a perfect way
to put it

because I just wanna help
the world

like become a better place.

Mmm-hmm.

Like more on the health side

just because that's
my calling.

Like that's what I'm good at.

That's what I know how to do.

I love that. That's amazing.

I do like
these Reese's though.

-Well, eat away.
-Oh, yeah.

[Kelle] Connor's confidence
is so sexy.

It makes him look so mature.

And he's so [bleep] hot.

Hello?

[singer vocalizing]

I feel like
this could go somewhere.

I like the confidence,

the positivity that you bring
to the house for us

is like... It's dope.

Aw, thank you.

I'm glad you see that.

[Connor] Yeah. For sure.

[singer vocalizing]

Can I do a shot off you?

-Yes.
-Okay. Lay down.

"Say no more," he says.

The [bleep] kind
of question was that?

Of course, you can.

[Barby] When I tell you
I did not see the connection

with Chris coming,
I am being for real.

Like that just knocked me
off my feet.

I just--

And, luckily,
I cleaned this counter

so I know that we're good.

All right, baby, go for it.

[laughs]

[Barby] I ruled out Chris
in the beginning

'cause I just thought
he was a type,

but then I'm starting
to realize

he's very much my type.

[Chris] I want a shot.

It feels great
to be treated nicely
by somebody

who's aesthetically
just gorgeous.

Give me a kiss.

Give me a kiss.

Who has a sense of humor
just like me.

I love us.

Oh, there's another one.

[Barby chuckles]

[upbeat music playing]

[Anthony] Are you excited?

I'm puttin' my hair up
for this one.

What color do you want?

Um, you choose.

Blue? Give me a kiss first.
Come on.

Mwah.

[Anthony] I like Rebecca.

She is hot and bubbly and fun.

Close your lips.

Pucker up. Look at me.

And I feel bad for Lannette.

-[chuckles]
-I love it. I love it.

[Anthony]We have a strong connection,

but let's see what else
is out there.

Joe, don't look... Don't look
over here, all right?

-[Shauna] I'm making
the design now.
-[Joey] You do your thing.

Ooh, that looks like a kiss.

-That's a good one.
-So you gotta open your mouth.

-Get as intricate as you want.
-Okay.

[Anthony] Joey, you hear me?
Don't look over here.

[Joey] Hey,
I'm not even listening

to what you're saying
right now, so...

Do your... Do your thing.

Oh, yeah,
you're looking like...

[Anthony]
Oh, that's a good one.

[Rebecca] That's a good one.

How about your bathing suit?
Like this.

I never painted
on somebody's body.

-Did you ever?
-I haven't.

And I much rather
would have done it

without him there.

[Anthony] All right,
let me put
my initials on your ass.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Put your initials... [laughs]

Claim it.

-Claim that booty.
-That's it. You're mine now.

-[Joey] Oh,
I'm not looking over.
-[Anthony] Yeah.

It's like a horse race
and the horse has blinders on.

Like you just...
You can't look too far right,

too far left.
You just gotta do your thing.

Was I... Why? Was I that bad?

Yeah.

This thing's crazy, you know?

Yeah. This is really cool.

-It's--
-[Anthony] Ready? All right.

-[Rebecca laughs]
-[bleep] wait.

-My legs. Let's turn over.
-[Rebecca] Let's see.

I'm rolling.

I'm rolling. I'm rolling.

-[Anthony] Let's go, shall we?
-[laughs]

[Anthony] Take a look at this.

[Joey] I think
it would be absolutely great

if my father
wasn't next to me.

-Yeah. I'm sorry, Joe.
-It's okay.

You have to do
a little therapy

about that session.

I already booked
the appointment.

[chuckles]

All right.

-Let's see if it look good.
-[Shauna] Ooh.

[Joey] Okay. Okay.

-[Shauna] That's good.
-[Joey] All right.

[Shauna] Okay.
What are we gonna do
with this?

-That's pretty cool.
-I like that. All right.

-Wanna do some splatters?
-Splat... Oh, my.

Yes!

[Shauna] Me being a artist,
teaching all the time,

this date
is totally up my alley.

What is that tattoo?

A cross. My dad's name.

That's awesome.

And my dad was an artist.

I would watch him

when I was younger
sketching pictures.

You know,
just watch him do marker art.

Now, we gotta do
our handprints.

Yeah. Give me your hand.
I'm gonna do your hand.

[Shauna] But then,
you know, when I was seven,

he passed away,
and I started doing art.

So art is my passion.

-Bang. Yeah.
-[Shauna] Woo!

Yeah.

[Shauna] I'm really liking
Joey's vibe.

He's such a gentleman.

So respectful.

I've never done
this before. You?

-Uh-uh. No.
-Uh-uh.

-I'm having a good time.
-I am too.

Very creative.

He's getting so into it

and trying to support
my artistic side, you know?

I'm trying
to make a big heart.

-Go ahead.
-And I want you to lay down.

What... Okay.

In the same spot
that you were, kind of?

-Yup.
-All right. Copy.

Yeah, it was a great date.

You look good
with paint all over you.

-There you go. [chuckling]
-Okay.

[upbeat music playing]

[Lannette] So we got
Miss Confused over here.

-Christina is confused.
-Yeah.

What are you confused about?

Sam and David.

-[Lannette] New guy.
-[Crystal] Oh.

Are you making a connection
with Dave?

-[Christina] Yeah.
-You are? Okay.

-I mean, he's a nice guy.
-But, I mean, I...

But I don't know him as long

as I've known Sam either...

-[Crystal] Okay. So you--
-in all fairness.

But I also get the confusion

of Sam being younger

and Uncle David
like having a career.

More age appropriate.

[Barby] Yeah. Age appropriate.

And also he's established.

[Lannette]
The other side of that is

you got somebody
to take care of you

when you're old
'cause they're still young.

Yeah.

[Christina] Those are things
that I was weigh-- actually,
weighing out last night.

[Barby] Mmm-hmm.

I'm still on the fence
with, you know, Sam and David.

I think, you know,
Sam has his qualities.

Obviously, physically,
I'm attracted to him.

And he's an old soul.

You know, very competitive,
which I love.

You know, we just...
We have that energy.

And then David,
obviously very good-looking.

You know, he's very mature.

And he's very successful
and established

and, you know, he's got a lot

of great qualities too.

So this is turning
into a love triangle here.

Okay. So woman to woman,

you know which one you want.

[Lannette] Exactly. Which one?

-No, I really don't.
-[Crystal] You don't?

-So you don't have that...
-Really?

[Crystal] You... Come on now.

I think David
is Christina's type.

I can just tell
by the sparkle in her eye.

And I feel like Sam
is just like, "[bleep],

you know, I'm done for."

-That was crazy.
-Hey, now.

-Hey now.
-[man] Oh, wow.

-Oh, my goodness.
-[Rebecca] Right?

We did body painting.

So they brought...
You painted yourself

and then...
And then you rolled around

-on top of the canvas.
-We made a cool canvas.

[Anthony] It's like art.

They're such great guys.

It was fun
being on a date with them.

It was a good opportunity

to kind of like
get to know each other and...

Roll around in paint.

It was kind of uncomfortable

with his dad right there,
you know?

Oh, you were uncomfortable?

-'Cause I couldn't tell.
-[laughs]

Hey, partner. [laughs]

[Joey]
Are you going in the hot tub?

-Dad?
-[Anthony] Huh? Yeah.

-Yeah.
-[Joey] You are?

Are we gonna rinse off
so we can go in the hot tub?

[Shauna] Yes. Let's do it.

[Lannette] I am not cool
with this at all.

Anthony's big thing
is respect,

but it's not very respectful

to come in bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed

and excited about their date.

I need to talk to him.

I need to know
what the deal is

and where this is going,
for sure.

-You got a minute?
-Yeah.

[Anthony] The minute
I walk through the door,

I could tell
Lannette is not happy.

You trust me?

Till you give me
a reason not to.

So it's either you or nobody.

Right.

You're the prettiest
girls here,

so they're all
like threatened by you.

[Joey] I know my dad is
having a good time right now,

but don't like entertain two
at the same time.

[upbeat music playing]

[Anthony]
Let's go in the hot tub.

[Rebecca laughs]

I think we're jumping
in the hot tub.

Well, we gotta... We gotta
get this off of us, you know?

[Rebecca]
All right. Off we go.

[chuckles]

[Anthony] You, um...

-You got a minute?
-Yeah.

[exhales]

The minute I walked
through the door,

I could tell
Lannette is not happy.

Earlier,
Rebecca and I were on a date.

It was very...

I wouldn't say erotic,

but it was passionate.

But, yeah, Lannette and I
have this great connection

and it hurts me
to see her upset.

I gotta talk to her
to clear the air.

I just, um...

You trust me?

Till you give me
a reason not to.

You know, I'm still...

I'm meet...
We're here to meet people.

I'm not here
to meet anybody else.

I'm not.

Like I am not vibing
with anybody else.

I'm not interested
in anybody else.

So it's either you or nobody.

I'm puttin' all my eggs
in one basket.

And I don't normally do that.

-Right.
-Do you know what I'm saying?

I get it. Yeah.

I just, um...

Are you cool with like trying
to figure this out?

I don't wanna stop things
with you.

I have this feeling for you.

Like I...
Like I legit have something.

Oh.

[Anthony] And then, you know,

I met you first
and I have a connection.

And then, you know, I met her.

And the Italian in me
that feels guilty doing that,

you know, you just get like...

But, anyway,
forget about that.

I just don't
wanna just be like...

I don't wanna end it.

-Yeah. We'll still hang out.
-[Anthony] Yes?

I mean,
you make a veggie pizza,

-we're gonna have a problem.
-[laughs]

[Lannette]I honestly don't know

if Anthony is just telling me
what I want to hear

or what he thinks
I want to hear

or maybe I'm just hearing
what I want to hear.

I don't know.

I mean, I'm not normally

so trusting or vulnerable

because I've been hurt
too many times.

But with Anthony,
it's just different.

I've never really felt
this way

about somebody like this
so quickly,

and it's a whole
new perspective on men.

Good. I'm glad
we had this talk.

-Go take a shower.
-Okay. Thank you.

I feel gross.

[laughs]

Get out of here.

[upbeat music playing]

Darren and I have been
getting to know one another

and it's definitely
a strong connection.

But so far,
we have not kissed

or progressed
to the next level,

so I planned something
very special for him,

a night together,

because I really want him
to kiss me.

[woman] Wow.

[Darren] Uh-oh. Hi.

-[woman 1] You look nice.
-[woman 2] Wow.

-[Darren] Look at you.
-[Crystal] That's a sign.
You better get over there.

[Darren] Look at you,
looking at me, looking at you.

[woman] Gorgeous.

Would you like me to get up?

[Kelly] Yes, please.

I'm gonna take my exit,
people.

-[woman] Bye.
-[man] Take care of business,
Kel-Kel.

I don't even need
the crutches right now.

I got a third leg.

[man] Yes, sir.

[Sam] So awkward.
That's not appropriate.

Well, I'm never going to,
in front of my parents,

children, whatever I have,
I'm never gonna go,

"Oh, yeah, don't worry,
I got a third leg."

You've never said anything

in front of myself
or your mother

that you wish
you had never said.

I didn't say that,
but I definitely
I wasn't talking

about a third appendage.

[chuckles]

[Kelly] Ah,
that feels so good.

This is exactly
how you and I like it,

-just you and I.
-Yes.

And I don't want you
to hold back.

Where we are in our life,

the challenges
and the adversities

in the past,

I believe that
they were all set up

to where we need to be today.

And, for me, I've done
many firsts already with you,

and I want to continue to do

many firsts with you.

-I feel safe.
-[Darren] Mmm-hmm.

-Yeah.
-That touches me deeply

-that you said that.
-[Kelly] Yeah.

[Darren]
I know we've connected,

I know we've talked,

but this is...

Sorry.

It makes me emotional,

very emotional.

Um...

I've had myself closed off
for a long time.

And I made sure I was there
ready to build walls

if someone got too close

because I didn't
wanna get hurt.

[Kelly] Mmm-hmm.

But I had decided
a little while back

that I was not gonna put up
those walls anymore.

And when I woke up
this morning,

you were the first thing
on my mind.

[Kelly] Aww.

Um, yeah.

I just... I don't...

I wasn't prepared for this.

-Thank you.
-[Darren] Oh, baby.

The bath was a perfect way

for us to connect.

Darren and I actually
finally kissed.

Life is about taking chances

and I believe
that he was worth

taking the chance.

-[Rebecca] Woo.
-Woo.

[toasts in foreign language]

-[Shauna] Cheers.
-[Rebecca speaking
in foreign language]

-[Anthony] Good first day.
-[Rebecca] Yes.

-That was awesome.
-[Joey] Great first day, yeah.

[Rebecca] Great date.

[Joey] I'm digging Shauna
for sure right now.

She's a beautiful
and confident woman.

And I take it as a compliment

when someone like that
is into me,

so I'm happy about it.

[Anthony]
So what's your opinion

of the people here so far?

The two of us
are kind of like,

"Oh, those are
the two new girls?"

So they're kind of like...
Kind of...

"We are like not dealing
with them," or something.

They feel threatened by you.

And plus, you're the prettiest
girls here,

so they're all like,

-"What's this?"
-[Rebecca] Oh,
thank you, Anthony.

[Joey] My dad and Lannette
have a thing going on.

They're both super
into each other.

And, um, I think
Lannette's better for my dad.

And I say that
because Lannette is very pure,

she has a very good heart,

and she loves everyone.

Um, and I think Rebecca

is a little more like stuck
in her 20s.

- Gracias, or grazie.
-[Anthony] Finito?

-[chuckles] Finito.
-Finito?

-Okay.
-[Rebecca] You can tell,

you're like a sincere,

like, just loving,
like, family guy.

[Joey] But, uh,
she's definitely hot,

and I know my dad's having
a good time right now.

I got all your moves already.

I'm starting
to figure you out.

Great. Exactly.

[Joey] So, I would say, look,
do your thing, move on,

make new connections,
but don't, like...

I wouldn't entertain two
at the same time.

I don't think these girls
are okay with that.

[laughter]

[singer]♪ I want you back
in my house, my love ♪

♪ And I hope
you're like a flower ♪

♪ It's colorful, oh-wo-oh ♪

[cell phone chimes, vibrates]

Listen up, everybody.
I got a text message.

[all] Yeah.

Woo.

[Crystal] So it's time
for our next challenge.

Girls, there is an incredibly
romantic solo date

-on the line today.
-[all] Ooh.

[Crystal] You definitely don't
wanna miss this one, okay?

Gentlemen, for this challenge,

you'll need to change
into the sexiest

pair of underwear you own.

-[woman] Ooh-la-la.
-[cheering and applause]

[Anthony] I think I got
a pair of thongs.

[laughs]

[Barby] I would love
to win this challenge

so we can get
out of the house

and go on a date.

Our connection is very
real and strong.

And, obviously,

I've seen a side of Chris
that's very goofy,

but I would hope
that in time with him,

I would be able to see
another layer of him.

So, you know, I'm trying
to slowly peel his onion.

When everybody's ready,
head out to the backyard.

-[Stacy] Yeah.
-All right.

-[woman] All right.
-[man shouts indistinctly]

Sexy pair of underwear.

[upbeat music playing]

[excited cheering]

[woman] Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Let's go.

-Let's go.
-Let's go.

-Let's go.
-[Stacy] Yeah.

What we got going
on here today?

-[man] Darren, you look sharp.
-Thank you, sir.

[woman 1] Oh, there's
peaches on there.

[woman 2] What is that?

[April] This is a glory hole.

[Connor]
Holy [bleep], actually.
It is a glory hole.

[chuckles]

I hope that these men

have to put their junk
in the hole

and all of us are gonna have
to guess whose junk it is.

[Stacy] Oh, we got blindfolds.

Oh, my God.

Whoa.

And I hope
there's tape measures

because, well,
also it's very cold
outside today, so...

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Who's ready
for your next challenge?

-[all] Woo!
-Yeah.

[Darren] I will be your host.

And since I can't
stand very long,

I will not be participating.

That said, women are known
to have excellent intuition,

and for today's challenge,

we will be putting that
to the test.

Ooh.

At the start of the challenge,

the men will get
behind the wall,

drop trou...

[Lannette] "Drop trou."

[laughter]

...and stick their...

butts through the holes.

[woman 2] What?

[woman 3] Oh.

[woman 4] Yeah.

[Darren] Drop these, boys.

[Chris] Come on,
let's go. [chuckles]

[Connor] You got some
air flow back there.

[Barby] Oh, man,
that is one hairy one.

That's a plumper.

Uh, these are all...

You guys all do
a great job on your asses.

There's a lot of suspense
involved on our side

of like what exactly
are they gonna do?

[Crystal] Barby,
[bleep] that ass.

[Lannette]
Go get in there, girl.

[suspense music playing]

Ladies, you will have to use
all five of your senses

to help identify
whose butt belongs to who.

-All five?
-[woman] Five?

[man] Five senses?

I'm not sniffing booty.

-Ooh.
-[laughing]

The woman who correctly
identifies the most butts

will win today's
cheeky challenge.

-Yeah.
-[Darren] And, ladies,

you will really want to win

because there's a super
romantic solo date
on the line.

Steak and lobster?

[laughter]

I really, really wanna win.

I wanna get a chance
to go out with Stacy

because at this point,
it's like I'm just itching

to get him alone

so we can talk

and we can make
a stronger connection.

And maybe he can see
something in me

in a more private setting
than he has in the house.

[Darren] Gentlemen,
get behind the wall

and assume the position.

[woman laughs]

-Woo.
-Yeah.

-[man 1]
Oh, let's get it, baby.
-[man 2] Yeah.

Ladies,
as you identify each butt,

you will write that name
on the peach.

When you're not playing,

you'll be wearing
these blindfolds.

-Yeah.
-All right.

[woman 1] Woo!

[woman 2] That's tight.

[Christina] Oh, my God,
my ponytail.

I can't see [bleep].

All right. We ready?

-I'm good.
-We goin'?

[Darren] Drop these, boys.

[Chris] Come on, let's go.

[Stacy] Go ahead
and assume position.

[Connor] You got some
air flow back there.

Chris got the whole breeze.

Oh, wee, baby.

Ladies, when I call your name,

you may remove your blindfold.

-Rebecca.
-[all] Ooh.

Oh, my God. I feel blind.

I would love
to win this challenge

because I already went
on a date with Anthony,

but I figured this would be
like something new to win

to go on a date with Connor

because I'm
so attracted to him.

I feel like he would be
my next interest,

and I wanna get to know him.

Oh, the pickles.

Ooh, that's a nice one.

Okay. Whose is that?

I like that one.

[Darren] When you think
you know whose butt it is,

write that name
on the peach above that hole.

-All right.
-[bell dings]

Ooh. This one's good too.

They are good.

Mmm-hmm.
I might have to bite this one.

[laughs] Oh, sorry.

[laughs]

[Connor] Having my butt

coming through a hole
with my uncle

was something that I've never
thought of doing in my life.

So, uh, it was definitely...
different.

[David]There was a lot of suspense
involved on our side

of like what exactly
are they gonna do?

-This is a biter.
-[David] Yeah,
this is a biter.

-[chuckles]
-So, it was a little awkward.

Yeah. Oh, 100%.

-[laughs]
-I was like, yeah.

Woo!

That's a good one.
The... These are all good.

Oh, my God. [laughs]

I know I have a nice butt.

I mean, my butt is...
that thing jiggles.

You know, I know
how to shake it,

and, uh, it's definitely fun.

-Okay.
-[buzzer buzzes]

Oh, man.

[laughs]
That is one hairy one.

[laughs]
That's a hairy koolie,

but it's still firm.

[buzzer buzzes]

Okay. This one,

it's a little bit smaller.

I don't really... I don't like
my butt grabbed, number one.

But I know Rebecca and Kelly

are gonna compete
to grab my ass.

But you... I don't really know
where's it's gonna go.

That's a plumper.

[laughs]

[buzzer buzzes]

[Rebecca] You guys all do
a great job on your asses.

Wait. Who am I missing?

[buzzer buzzes]

It's gonna be
a tough game to win

because there's a lot
of hard asses, so...

Lannette.

-Yeah.
-[woman 1] Go, girl.

-[woman 2] Come on, Lannette.
-Let's go, Lannette.

[Lannette]I wanna win this challenge

because I wanna go on a date
with Anthony.

And I'm thinking maybe if we
spend some more time together,

we can decide if there's
a real connection here or not.

Holy [bleep].

[buzzer buzzes]

[Lannette] Connor,
Stacy, Tony, Anthony.

This is gotta be him.

I can't tell.
They all look the same.

-[buzzer buzzes]
-Really?

That's who you think
that butt belongs to?

I know exactly which butt
up there belongs to my son,

because he has Black at booty.

[Sam] It wasn't the pickles
that gave it away?

This poor young man

couldn't wear jeans
in high school

because his booty was too big.

He had to wear sweatpants
every day.

And our next contestant
is Kelly Mac.

[cheering and applause]

Let's stretch Kelly
out of her comfort zone.

Forgive me.

-[woman] "Forgive me."
-[laughter]

I come from
a very traditional

and conservative background,

but who cares?

This one's a youthful butt.

This one is really hairy.

Thank you, baby.

This one has to be that.

[bell dings]

And this is a nice firm butt.

All right.

[Darren] To watch Kelly Mac

feeling up my son's butt,

it was a little strange.

I think I pulled back
a little bit

from some of commentary
when it came to...

When she was touching
your butt.

So, I don't need
to ever see it again.

Christina, you are up.

[cheering and applause]

[Christina] There's some
hot buns out there.

I think, you know,
both Sam and David

are definitely up there
in the category

of, uh, you know,
some hot buns.

This is firm as hell,
whoever's ass this is.

-[laughter]
-[Christina]
This is a firm ass.

[bell dings]

Whoa! [bleep].

[laughs]

Oh, I'm tickling him.

I'm so sorry.

[Joey] I'm a ticklish guy.

So when girls got those
long-ass nails

and they're like rubbing
over my silk bottom, it...

It's ticklish.

[Christina] They are juicy...
This one's juicy.

Wait, I know this butt.

[Darren] Feel that butt.
Pinch it.

I think it might be...

Joey. [laughs]

Payback's a bitch, Joey.

I'm gonna bruise your ass
just like you bruised mine.

[Christina laughs]

Oh, that's just not nice.

[Joey]You just blew it, Christina.

You just blew
your best shot you had.

No one can bite ass
like I can.

[bleep].

And our next contestant is...

Kelle Mortensen.

[cheering and applause]

[Kelle]I need to win this challenge

because I need
some alone time with Connor

away from Rebecca,

so she can't just like
keep flaunting all her assets.

What the hell?

Oh, this one here
is a little kinky.

This is leather here.

[laughs] Some BDSM.

A little bit kinky.

You know, hearing Shauna
talk about my dad's butt

is kind of throwing me off
a little bit.

Yeah, it wasn't, uh,
my proudest moment

having my butt in a hole,

especially
in front of my son.

[Darren]
The woman who performed
the best today is...

[upbeat music playing]

[Darren] And our next
contestant up is Shauna.

-[cheering and applause]
-[woman] Yeah, Shauna.

Go, sis. Go, Shauna.

[women chanting] Go, Shauna.

Uh, yeah,
I wouldn't mind Crystal

or Shauna rubbing my butt.

Yeah. [laughs]

Okay. This one is big here.

-Okay.
-[laughter]

[Shauna] Nice apple.

Ooh.

There was a lot of firm butts
in this lineup.

These men are working out.

Oh, this one here
is a little kinky.

This is leather here.

[laughs]

[Joey]You know, hearing Shauna

talk about my dad's butt

is kind of throwing me off
a little bit.

Yeah, it wasn't, uh,
my proudest moment

having my butt in a hole.

[Shauna] Some BDSM.

A little bit kinky.

[Anthony] Especially
in front of my son.

It's like crazy.

[Darren] Next up is Crystal.

[cheering and applause]

I don't think me and Stacy
are moving at the pace

that we need to be moving.

So I really wanna win
this challenge

because, now Shauna's here,

and I think that he might be

a little bit interested
in her.

I wanna get him alone
so I could kind of

dissect his feelings
and see how he feels about me,

and maybe how
he may feel about her

being in the house now.

Oh, gosh.

[laughs]

I'm trying to think
of who this is.

These are some
nice butts for real.

[woman]
They're nice butts, right?

[Crystal] Oh, wow.

[laughs]

Come on, hurry up.

Let's write a name down.

[laughs]

Crystal was probably
the most handsy of them all.

[laughter]

She stayed the longest.

[Crystal] This is a hard butt.

This butt is hard.

-[woman 1] Got it.
-[woman 2] Yeah, girl.

-[buzzer buzzes]
-[woman 3] Girl.

-Nicely done.
-Okay.

I don't know
if I want your hands
touch me after all that.

[laughter]

And our next contestant is...

Kelle Mortensen.

[cheering and applause]

Number five
is moving that booty, wow.

What the hell? [laughs]

I need to win this challenge

because I need
some alone time with Connor

away from Rebecca

so she can't just like
keep flaunting all her assets.

Okay.

Hmm.

Ooh, I think I know
who this is.

-[bell dings]
-[Kelle] Very firm.

Hmm, this is super hairy.

Wow.

Scratch and sniff?

[laughs] It smells fresh.

[buzzer buzzes]

Barby.

[cheering and applause]

[David] Last one, you guys.

-Let's go.
-[woman 1] Come on, Barby.

-[Darren] Come here, Barby.
-Wait, what?

[Crystal]
Barby, [bleep] that ass.

[Lannette]
Go get in there, girl.

[laughter]

Is... Are these even real?

Yeah, okay, they are. Hold on.

This one's asking
for attention.

There's some juicy booties
in these seven holes,

and I think it's gonna be
a lot tougher than I thought.

I feel like this one's,
like...

It's a playful butt.
That's a playful butt.

-[Darren]
That's a playful butt?
-[bell dings]

[Barby] Yeah.

[woman] Girl.

I know my man's ass
when I see it.

Oh.

I'm just hoping that's not
my thong he's wearing.

Here's a little kissy.

Hey, now we're even.

[Darren] Okay, ladies.
Let's take those masks off.

-Yeah.
-Finally.

Wow.

Can't see.

[Darren] Butt hole number one,

please reveal
your second best asset.

-Ahh.
-[Barby] No way.

I didn't get that right.

He was the pickle one.

Oh, God, Jesus.

I thought I knew
his butt a bit.

I mean,
it was a good-sized ass

and I just thought Sam had
a smaller tush, smaller tush.

[Darren]
And butt hole number two.

[all] Oh.

[indistinct chatter]

Camouflage in Texas,
they go hand in hand.

I bit it. [laughs]

[Darren]
Butt hole number three.

-Well, I didn't get that one.
-[Crystal] No.

No.

[Darren]
Butt hole number four.

Surprise.

[cheering and applause]

How're we doing, ladies?

-I knew it.
-[all] Yeah.

[Darren]
Butt hole number five.

-Butt hole number six.
-[all] Yeah.

Damn, you had the biggest one?

[giggles]

[Darren]
And butt hole number seven.

Let's see that leather daddy.

-[indistinct]
-[laughter]

I think I was most surprised
to see Anthony's butt.

Listen, I'm into BDSM

and he comes out
in the leather.

Damn, that's hot. Yeah.

It's time to find out
which woman

correctly identified
the most butts

to win a super-romantic
solo date.

[Crystal] I really, really
wanna win this

because I wanna go out
with Stacy.

[Lannette]Anthony is the only guy
I'm interested in,

so I'm very nervous.

I should be having
the opportunity to go out

and spend more time
with Anthony,

not Rebecca.

I've gotta win.

We're gonna hit
the steam room.

-I'm coming.
-Yeah?

-What do I wear?
-[David]
As little as possible.

-Perfect.
-Nothing.

Rebecca is
what we call thirsty.

Having the best night
of her life.

Between the two hotties.

I'm like, "Bitch,
you need to like step off."

[David] All right, all right.

Actually, you better run.

[upbeat music playing]

[Darren] All right, everyone.

The woman
who correctly identified

the most butts is...

Barby.

[cheering and applause]

[Lannette laughing]

I realized today that
I'm a butthole girl, so...

I'm a butthole girl.

Give that girl
a kiss for picking you.

-[woman] Yes.
-Give that girl a kiss.

[cheering and applause]

I didn't win the challenge,
so I gotta figure out

another way to get
Stacy's attention

because it can definitely
not be on to Shauna.

Let's go on inside, everyone.

Great job.

-[Stacy] Cooking tonight?
-[Anthony] Yeah,
for me and Lannette.

[Stacy] I need more hot sauce.

The sauce is here.

[Anthony]I feel bad for Lannette,

so I'm gonna make
a little dinner tonight,

make a little chicken dinner,
you know?

See how she's doing.

I wanna make sure
that Lannette knows

that I still
have feelings for her.

It's a good idea.

[Anthony speaking]

-[Lannette] Oh, what is that?
-[Anthony] One for you,
one for me.

I'm a gentleman.
What can I say?

I wanna do the right thing,
you know?

I don't blame you.

Put a chair there.

[Lannette]
Oh, thank you, babe.

Is there Chateau here?

Are you gonna eat something?

Aw, what is this?

[Anthony] This is chicken
with hot sauce and lime.

-Mmm-hmm.
-[Christina] Hot sauce?

Oh, God. It's...
And I'm normally
not a hot sauce fan.

[speaks in foreign language]

[Rebecca] The workout boys.

The workout boys.

-[David] We're gonna hit the
steam room in a little bit.
-[Rebecca] Where's that?

Don't worry about it, okay?
We'll show you.

-Yeah.
-Can I go to the steam room?

-Yeah.
-I'm coming.

-Yeah? You wanna join?
-All right. What do I wear?

[laughter]

Um, as little as possible.

-Perfect.
-Uh, nothing.

-Let's go.
-[laughter]

-All right.
-Okay. I'm gonna
hold you to that.

Seriously? I'm ready.
Where's the steam room?

No, I'm not talking
about the steam room.

-The hot tub?
-I'm talking
about the clothing.

-Okay.
-No, I'm just kidding.

No, it's fine.

I came prepared.

-[laughs]
-[Connor] Yeah.

[Christina]What the hell is going on?

Rebecca is kind of
crossing the line.

Uh, you know, me and Kelle

have formed these connections
with David and Connor.

I'm a girl's girl
and I would never

disrespect other women
like that.

-And then we'll go--
-Let's go.

Like, I wanna do that now.

All right. I love it.

Like, girl, like...

[Anthony] You wanna eat?

Chicken with a little lemon.

[Rebecca] Chicken with lemon?

-And a little hot sauce.
-[Rebecca] Ooh, I love it.

-Yeah, it's good.
-[Rebecca] Yes.

[tense music playing]

Sit over there in a second.

-Hmm?
-You wanna just
like sit over there?

You want me to sit over there?

-Yeah, one second.
-Okay.

[Sam]Anthony, he's been building
a relationship with Lannette.

They seemed very close.

But also seems to have
a thing for Rebecca.

He does seem to be
attracted to Rebecca.

Mmm.

Where's the hot sauce?
You put it back?

[Darren]And basically, Anthony's
trying to put together,

not a double date,
but one date

with two different women
in the house.

[Sam] When you do
something like that,

you're asking for trouble.

[Lannette] Mmm.

Yum, that was really good.

Thank you.

I mean,
I don't enjoy the fact

that he's got a Plan A
and a Plan B.

I like the fact
that I'm Plan A,

but it makes me
a little insecure

that he's interested
in Rebecca.

It doesn't make me
feel very special.

We're gonna strip down
and go in, right?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-Okay.
-"Okay."

[laughter]

[Rebecca]I'm definitely attracted
to both David and Connor,

but I have never dated
an uncle and nephew before.

I don't know
if that's like a thing.

But they seem really cool.

Rebecca, I got your dinner.

[Rebecca] I'm coming.
I'll be right back.

And I'm also
interested in Anthony.

But I guess,
he's exploring his options,

so I'm exploring
my options too. Yeah.

[Stacy laughs] Yeah.

There was a part of me
that was a little happy

about Rebecca
totally dissing Anthony,

and then hitting it
with Connor and David.

I thought, "Well,
that's what you deserve."

[laughs]

[Connor] You got a dry towel?

-Everybody's got a dry towel?
-Okay.

[David] Yeah, I do.

-Yeah.
-[Rebecca] What about me?

[laughs]

Ooh, this is amazing.

[Kelle] Rebecca is definitely
pissing me off,

swooping in on Connor
right before my eyes.

Like, I don't know
who she thinks she is.

She just comes in
and doesn't even like see

who has a connection
going on here

and then she's just like
going from dude
to dude to dude.

Having the best night
of her life.

Between the two hotties.

Rebecca is what we call
thirsty in California.

I'm like, "Bitch,
you need to like step off."

Sorry, thank you.

All right, all right,
all right.

-[laughter]
-[David] All right.

Actually, you better run.

Before you get to enjoy
the delicious wine,

-you get to make
some yourselves.
-[gasps]

[upbeat music playing]

To have such a strong
connection with Chris

this soon is insane.

-Truth or dare.
-Shauna.

[Joey] Ooh.

He was definitely
stepping on my toes

by asking Shauna
out on a date.

I have an attraction to you.

Listen...

-[Rebecca] Okay.
-Oh, [bleep] me.

No. I ain't dealing with that.

[Rebecca giggling]
You are a trouble maker.
Oh, my God.

You wanna get changed
and go to the hot tub?

[Rebecca] Oh, yeah,
let's go to the hot tub.

-Yeah?
-[laughs] Can we go nude?

[Connor] She's probably
pretty curious right now.

Oh, she knew that
the house would blow up.

[intense music playing]

[Kelle] Rebecca's out
with Connor in the hot tub?

Everything's intertwining
with one another

and it's kind of freaking me
the [bleep] out a little bit.

Hi, Rebecca. Hi, bitch.

That's so cute of you.

We might have to
break something up.

[Connor] What's up?

[Kelle] Just trying to see
where you stand.

-[Connor] Where I stand?
-Where she stands.

[intense music playing]