All language subtitles for How To Marry A Millionaire - S02E08 - The Method

This is the United
States Mint in Philadelphia,

where every year tons of bullion are
refined, melted into alloys, cast into ingots,

rolled into strips, and finally struck
between dyes and pressed. In this manner,

approximately $30 million in coin
are turned out here every year.

I know an easier way to
accumulate a lot of coins.

What's that, young lady?

Marry it.

There, you've finally
done it, local. Now will you

give up? The party's over.
Let's start to clean up.

Come on. Excuse me. Oh, God.

It was a wonderful party, Mike.

And Mother and I will see you
on Saturday night then, huh?

Oh, I'm looking forward to
meeting her, Paul. By the way,

is there anything special
she might like for dinner?

Her favorite is swordfish.

Oh, well then, swordfish it'll be.

Bye. Excuse me, I found her. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night, Pa.

Speaking of swordfish, you speared
yourself a pretty good one, Mike.

The only heir to the
Wadsworth shipping millions.

Let's not get carried away now, girls.

I like Paul a lot, but there's many a
slip twixt the cup and the mother-in-law.

He seems to go for you, and he
certainly had a good time tonight.

Everybody did. Except
our beloved house manager.

Mr. Toby had a lot of nerve calling up
and complaining about the noise of our hi-fi.

Yeah, I could hardly hear it
over the bongo drums. Well,

we certainly broke up early enough.

It's only 11.

Oh, look, Paul forgot his bongo.

Oh, no, he didn't.

La la la la la la!

Coco, I think you better quit now. Are
you still worrying about old Big Ears, Tomi?

As a matter of fact, yes.

That's not Paul.

No, it's old Big Ear.

Won't you come in, Mr. Tobey?
We were just talking about you.

And we were just talking about you.

Oh, for heaven's sakes, no wonder I
couldn't get you on the telephone again.

Just look.

Well, ladies, it looks like
you've really gone and done it.

Just a moment. Our party broke up by 11.

And we certainly kept the noise down.
And your ears aren't really very big.

Well, you don't have to have
big ears to hear a bongo drum.

Frankly, ladies, the neighbors are
restless, especially Mrs. Hopkins.

That old grouch.

The last time I took a bubble bath, she
complained about the bubbles popping.

Well, this time, she
complained personally to Mr. Bottomley.

Who's he?

Who's he...

J.R. Bottomley, the new owner of
the building. She got him out of bed.

So we had a little
party. What's the big fuss?

Unfortunately, Mr. Bottomley asked
me about your past record as tenants,

and I was forced to tell him.

Past record? Now look, warden.

I have it all right here. Listen.

Throwing bags of water
from terrace on pedestrians.

Going away for weekend with
bathtub running and inundating

three apartments with wall-to-wall water.

Using hall fire
extinguisher to put out shish kebab.

And what about the time
we forgot to pay the rent?

Yes, the time.

Okay, Mr. Tobey, what are you getting at?

Mr. Bottomley has
instructed me to notify you that the

next infraction of your
lease will be your last.

Just look at that
mess. Isn't that terrible?

Well, for heaven's sakes, it won't come
off. You'll have to clean it yourselves.

And don't forget, ladies,
Mr. Bottomley means business.

And roll back that stupid rug.

Oh, for goodness... Oh, good night.

Good night.

He certainly got his nerve threatening
us like that. You can say that again.

I'm so mad I could pop my
cork. Oh, you better not.

Mrs. Hopkins might hear you.

Loco? Oh, I'm sorry. Well,
who could that be so early?

Maybe it's Warden Toby. I bet the
coffee was perking too loud. Hi, Jesse.

Morning, girls.

This just came for you,
air express. Who's it from?

It, uh, it came all the way from Alaska.

Mr. John Albright.

Johnny! He's been on that
hunting trip for more than a month.

I was wondering when we'd hear from him.

What could it be in such a large
crate? Oh, maybe he struck gold.

It's more likely it's some
expensive birds. Here's a key to open it.

You better open it, and fast.

Do you see anything? Yes.

Another eye staring back at me.

It's a seal!

With any gift wrap.

That Johnny and his practical jokes.
Hey, there's a card tied to the ribbon.

Let's see.

Oh, isn't he cute?

I wonder if he's a boy or a girl.

Must be a boy.

He's got whiskers. Listen to this.

Dear Gwen, Mike, and Loco, this will
introduce you to Sylvester. How do you do,

Sylvester? My name is Loco.

I thought he'd be a lot of
fun around the penthouse.

He can sleep in the bathtub, and if
you want to get on his right side,

he's crazy about swordfish. Gee, then he
can come to dinner Saturday night, too.

He'd make a perfect dinner
partner for Paul's mother.

Girls, I'll tell you one thing.

If that seal's here Saturday night,
you won't be. Toby's on a rampage.

Oh, my gosh, we forgot about Toby.

They don't allow pets in the building.
If he ever came up here and found a seal,

we'd really be dead. We've got
to get rid of him right away.

Jesse.

Oh, no, you don't. Good luck to you, girl.

Good luck.

No, no, no, no, no. Get away from those
gumdrops. Oh, I'm calling the city zoo.

We'll donate Sylvester to them.

Sylvester's right.

You can't give him away. He's a gift.

This is one time when it's better to
give than to receive. Mike is right, Loco.

If we keep him, they'll break our lease.

And besides, we couldn't take care of him.

Well, the least we ought to
do is feed him before he goes.

Come on, Sylvester. I
think we've got some sardines.

Well, they're like
little itty-bitty swordfish.

Without the swords.

Hello?

Seal department, please.

I'd like to speak to whoever
is in charge of your seals.

Thank you.

Hello, this is Miss McCall,
and I'm at the Tower Apartments.

We have a seal here in our
penthouse, and... Hello?

Hello, are you still there? Oh.

Well, anyway, someone sent
us this seal from Alaska,

and we'd like to donate him to
you. Oh, but we can't keep him here.

Well, what do you suggest I do?

Thank you. I'll call them. Goodbye.

What did he say? Oh, he gave me the
sad story about being overstocked,

under budget. He told me
to call the county zoo.

What if they won't take him either?

Well, then I'll call
the zoo superintendent.

If that doesn't work,
I'll go right to the top.

I'll call Walt Disney.

The mother bear knocked
at the door. Knock, knock,

knock in the middle of
the night. No one came.

But we can keep him here.

Well, you've certainly
been no help. Goodbye.

Well, I guess we've had it. We've
called the aquarium, two zoos, the circus,

and every carnival amusement
park in town. What do we do now?

There's one thing left.

We could take him to a furrier and
have him make us a seal skin coat.

Oh, no, you couldn't do that.

And besides, he isn't our size.

Toby, we're goners.

Mr. Toby, may I come in?

Who's there?

Sidewalk, here we come.

Get him in the kitchen,
quick. Shoo, scat, go. Mush.

Sardines.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Toby, but
you can't come in. We're not dressed.

Oh, well, I just wanted to inform
you that our new owner, Mr. Bottomley,

will be making an inspection
tour of the building tomorrow.

He'll be coming through your
apartment about four o'clock.

I'm afraid no one will be
here tomorrow afternoon.

Oh, that's all right, Miss McCall. We'll
just let ourselves in with the pass key.

You see, Mr. Bottomley's very
anxious to... What was that?

Miss Jones has a very bad cough.

Puffing cough.

If it sounds pretty bad,
she better take care of it.

Until tomorrow afternoon.

Yes.

Now you've done it, Sylvia.

I'd like to... No, no,
no, take it easy, Mike.

Take it easy.

Do you realize that he's ruined us?
They'll be coming through here tomorrow.

They'll see Junior, and out we go.

What about your dinner
Saturday for Paul and his mother?

You might lose your
chance to marry a millionaire.

If I do...

Oh, that Sylvester is so messy.

That must be Toby and Mr. Bottomley. I
just hope we get away with this. We better.

Oh!

Sylvester didn't finish his
dinner. Take it to the kitchen, please.

Ah, I see you ladies are home.
Miss McCall, Miss Kirby, I'd

like you to meet Mr. Bottomley.

How do you do?

Ladies, well, this is a
pleasant surprise. From what Mrs.

Hopkins downstairs reported,

I didn't expect to find this
apartment in such good condition.

How about her apartment? Did you
find any ear prints on the ceiling?

No, no, ladies.

Well, everything seems to be fine in here.

May I see the bedroom, please?

Yes.

Thank you.

Uh, where's Miss Jones
today? Is she working?

Uh, no, she's taking a
bath in the guest bathroom.

I guess that's one
room you'll have to skip.

Yes, I guess we'll have to.

Toby, make a note. I think
the girls should have some

new drapes in the bedroom and make
everything smarter, more cheerful.

You think you'd like that?

That would be wonderful. And anything
else you can think of, we'd appreciate.

Toby, we ought to do
something about these doors.

What was that?

Oh, Miss Jones is in there.

Do you really think you should be
taking a bath with that bad cough of hers?

Doctor's orders, you know,
starve a cold, soak a cough.

There are a few things we'd like to
talk to you about in the kitchen.

Well, I never heard of
anyone having a cough like that.

Do you think it's
contagious? Oh, no, no. Well,

I wouldn't want any of my other
tenants to pick up what she has.

Believe me, there isn't
a chance in the world.

As we were saying, Mr. Toby,

there were a few things in the
kitchen we'd like to see you about.

I thought they'd never
leave. That was a narrow escape.

Okay, Loco, the coast
is clear. Come on in.

I unlocked the door. Loco!

The only way I could keep him quiet.

The hallway's clear.

I wonder what the rap
is for seal smuggling.

Never mind. It's just a good thing
Jesse got us that baby carriage.

Come on, Loco.

Oh, I had to get him his toys and a
blanket. He just didn't look comfortable.

We've got to put this over. Come
on, get your head out of the way.

Put the little head down in there. Come
on, baby. There you go. There you go.

Hurry up, we've got to get him
out of here. Now keep quiet, baby.

Be good in the field, Sylvester.
Hurry up, you're just wasting time.

Okay.

Got it, okay? Mm-hmm.

Am I pushing this like a real mommy? Shh!

If we ever get another package
from Alaska reminding not to open it.

Oh, I think he's cute.

What have we here?

It's a baby. She's my niece.
We're just taking him out for a walk.

I mean, her.

Niece? I didn't know you
had a niece, Miss McCall.

Yes.

We're just minding her for the evening.

Oh, why don't you introduce
Miss Jones to Mr. Bottomley?

She was taking a bath when
you called this afternoon.

Oh, of course.

Miss Jones, this is
Mr. Bottomley. Oh, yes,

and how is that terrible
cough of yours, Miss Jones?

Cough?

Oh, it's a lot better.

I guess my niece must
have caught it from her.

I told you it was contagious.

Oh, nice little baby.

My, she's hungry.

Careful you don't get too close,
Mr. Bottom. We remember contagious.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Going down.

Oh, well, you will excuse us, gentlemen.
We have to be running along now. Goodbye.

Well, I do hope you
won't be bringing her back

in the building until she's recovered.

Oh, we won't be bringing her back, period.

Tigers.

There it is, seal pool.

Well, this is the end of
the line for Sylvester.

Gosh, I feel terrible about this.

Do we have to?

We have to. Paul and his mother are
coming tomorrow night, and I'm sure Mrs.

Wadsworth wouldn't want her son
running around with a girl seal keeper.

It's going to be awfully
lonesome taking a bath without him.

There's an opening up ahead. We'll tilt
him into the pool from there. Come on.

Oh, wait a minute.

Goodbye, Sylvester.

I just can't.

You girls will have to do it without me.

Come on, Mike.

Bye, Sylvester.

Now, local, you'll have to snap out of it.

You didn't eat a bite of dinner.

That's just because you
ordered that sardine salad.

Brought back memories.

All I know is it's the first time in two
days I've been able to breathe freely.

Yes, and we can face
Mrs. Wadsworth with a clear

conscience and an empty bathtub. Oh, no.

I tried to keep him out, but he raised
such a rumpus, I was afraid that Toby'd hear.

You ladies have your nerve,
dumping your seal into our pool.

What makes you so sure he's ours? Oh,
it's so nice to have you back, Sylvester baby.

Look, ladies, one of our men saw you
putting Sylvester baby into the pool.

Luckily, our superintendent had your
address from when you called yesterday.

Couldn't you take him back?
Really, this is no place for him.

I'm sorry, lady. I got my orders. And
just don't try it again. Or next time,

we'll hand the matter over to the police.

I'm sorry, girls.

I did the best I could.

We know you did, Jesse.
Thanks anyway. Okay. Bye.

Bye.

Sylvester! Stop that.
You'll get a tummy ache.

Who are you calling? Paul Wadsworth. I've
got to call off tomorrow night's dinner.

I guess it would be safer.

Hello?

Mr. Wadsworth, please.

Oh?

Well, this is Miss
McCall, and I... Oh, you do?

Yes, what is the message?

Oh?

Oh, but he can't come here.

Well, isn't there any place
I can reach him? Oh, I see.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Now what? I can't get a
hold of Paul and his mother.

They flew to Nassau for a few days,

and they plan to come here
directly tomorrow night.

Oh, Mike, what are you
going to do now? I don't know.

Of course, Mrs. Wadsworth likes seafood.

Maybe we could serve her
filet of seal under glass.

Well, that soup was
delicious, Mike. Wasn't it, Mother?

Uh, yes. Oh, yes, very.

Don't you care to finish it, Mrs.
Wadsworth? No, thank you, my dear.

I have to watch my calories, you know.

Why don't you go ahead and
eat? We'll watch them for you.

I'll get the entree.

Would you care for some baked potatoes,
Mrs. Wadsworth? No, no, definitely no.

You distinctly said no
potatoes. I'm so terribly sorry.

What was that horrible noise?

The whooping cough.

It's the little boy next
door. We have very thin walls.

I hear there's a lot of
that going around now.

Not as much as we've got around
here. I mean, how about some vegetables?

Oh, oh, oh, thank you.

Everything looks so wonderful, Mike.

Oh, I almost forgot,
Paul. You simply must see it.

You too, Mrs. Wadsworth. It's time for
the New Earth satellite to pass over.

See what?

It's a wonderful view from
the... I've tried the kitchen.

On kitchen thought, it is a better view
from the... I don't want to see a satellite.

I want to see my sword made.
But it's such a thrilling sight.

I don't see any satellite.

Well, it usually appears about there.

I can't hold them back that much longer.

Can't you get them away from there?
I've tried everything. You won't move.

Here, Sylvester, swordfish, come on.

Sylvester, come on,
boy. Come on, Sylvester.

Well, I don't see anything.

Oh, you can't leave yet. I'm sure
it'll be here any minute. Under the table.

What the world are they
doing under the table?

I dropped my earring.
But I found it, loco.

We missed the satellite. Well,
I don't feel I missed a thing.

I just hope the food isn't cold.

Why, someone's been eating out of my
plate. Oh, I'll get you another one. Ah!

Mother, what's the matter?

Why, the most ridiculous
thing I could have sworn

I saw a seal. It is a seal. What, what?

Mike, what's going on here?

I guess I better explain.

Explain?

Explain living with a seal? Come, Paul. I
have never been so humiliated in my life.

Oh, but Mother, look, I... Please, Mrs.
Wattsworth, you've just got to listen.

Oh, no, I don't. I told you
these girls were not our kind.

But Mother, please, Mike,
would you please... Come, Paul.

Oh, allow me.

I've never been so insulted.

Look, my guy, please.

Yes, I'm coming, mother.

He's acting like he's really glad
to see them go. You know something?

So am I. Oh, my.

Sylvester, you're a better judge of
character than we are. Let's finish the dinner.

Swordfish for everybody, even. Now,
Sylvester, you can't yourself. Oops.

Would you care for some rolls?

He must be watching his calories,
too. Who is it? Mr. Toad, let me in.

I know you have a seal in there. Can we?

He told me, but I didn't believe it.

Why, you have got a seal.

Who told you?

That hysterical woman in the elevator.

Mrs. Wadsworth told you about the seal?

Blubbermouth.

Well, ladies, this does it.
Mr. Bottomley's on his way up,

and you're on your way out.

But Mr. Toby, this seal was given to
us as a gift. We can't get rid of it.

Ours is not to reason why. Mr.
Bottomley gave you your final warning.

This is your last violation of the lease.

What seems to be the
trouble here? Just look at this.

They do have a seal in here. Clause 9,

a flagrant violation of
no pets in the building.

I've just notified them
that they're being evicted.

Then you'll just have to unnotify them.

I forgot to tell you, Toby, I'm
eliminating that clause. What?

When I move into the building, I'm
bringing my two St. Bernards with me.

It'd be unfair to the other
tenants not to let them have pets.

Of course, I've never heard of
anyone having a seal for a pet before.

Oh, he's almost human.

Whooping cough.

Maybe it is contagious.