Original subtitles

This is the Dark Continent, mysterious Africa,

probably the last frontier left on Earth.

Where adventurous men still risk their lives to seek out the vast,

untapped resources worth many millions of dollars.

I know an easier way to tap a million dollars.

What's that, young lady?

Marry it.

Is this the way you want it, Gwen?

Fine.

How do you like this one?

Beautiful. Picasso couldn't have done better.

Is this one okay?

Loco, isn't that a little bit too personal? After all,

these signs are going to be carried by teenagers.

Oh, I didn't have enough room. There's more on the other side.

See?

We love...

You, Wally.

I thought that was rather nice, considering I don't even know the man.

By the time I get through with him, Wally Grant will be a household word.

You mean like garbage disposal?

Confidentially, when he sings, he sounds like one.

That seems to be what they're going for these days.

What time does his plane get in? 3.20.

Oh, the reception has just got to be a success.

My boss put the whole publicity campaign in my hands.

This could be a wonderful publicity break for you, Gwen.

Mike, did you think a comma would be right there? Hello? Yes, Marty.

But they can't. You promised me. Well, how can I have a reception without them?

Well, are they definitely out?

Oh, boy, this will ruin me.

Well, being sorry won't help. Goodbye. What's the matter?

My name just became a household word.

Mud.

What's wrong?

I was promised a busload of teenagers to give Wally Grant a big welcome. You know,

tear them apart like they do those other rock and roll singers.

Now the kids can't come. A last-minute school party or something.

What are you worried about? You've still got fan club number 24.

Oh, there is no fan club 24.

If all the Wally Grant fans had a convention, they'd rattle around in a phone booth.

Well, there goes my big publicity stunt.

Say, Gwen, I've got the afternoon off. I could carry a sign for you. Sure,

you'd make a great teenager. Now, just a minute.

You're forgetting I'm a model.

I've posed as a 14-year-old.

When was that? When I was 14.

That's our local.

Oh, I mean it. I'll bet you with the right clothes I could still pass for 14.

Even younger.

I know. I'll borrow some things from Jenny Hopkins downstairs. She's 14,

and we wear the same size.

Well, almost. I don't know.

I'm desperate, but I... Oh, really, Gwen?

I can even act like a fan. Look.

He's here.

You belong to us.

We love you. What's his name again? Wally. We love you, Wally boy.

Well?

Oh, gosh, Loco, would you really do that for me?

Well, of course I would.

Just think, Loco, this morning you woke up a nobody,

and now you're president of the Wally Grant fan club. Yes,

it could only happen in America.

Oh, hello, Stan.

Say, you're covering the arrival of that new rock

and roll singer from Hollywood, aren't you? Yeah.

What's his name?

Wally Grant.

Oh, yeah.

Now, I got a new angle for you.

I'm so sick and tired of these stories about how

the singers are being torn apart by teenagers.

I got to switch.

Now, what are we going to do? Tear apart a teenager?

Well, in a way. Now, look, I want you to grab one of these kids and get their story.

You know, the inside on their home life, the parents, hobby, school.

You've got a good angle there.

Who knows, we might dig up something real interesting.

Now, you've got all the signs there?

Okay, I'm leaving for the airport now. Right, bye.

Come on, Loco, we've got to get going.

Like a refugee from the truant officer. Let's not overdo it.

Now, girl, where'd you get those braces?

They're my old ones. You know I never throw anything away.

And where'd you get those pigtails? Well, remember when I had my hair cut short?

I know. You never throw anything away.

Oh, maybe I shouldn't have asked you to do this.

Why? I'm getting a big kick out of it.

Just as long as I'm back in time for my date with Chris Harcourt tonight.

I wonder how he'd feel taking me to the yacht club dance in this outfit.

He should be back by five, but...

Are you sure you want to go through with it?

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

After all, I'm president of the fan club.

Wally!

Welcome to New York!

To us, Wally boy!

Okay, kids, once more.

Wally, we love you!

Guys, can I have your autographs and lock of your hair?

Oh, you're wonderful, Wally boy. How am I doing?

All right, huh? Take it easy, little girl.

Well, that's all right.

The suit came with two pair of sleeves.

Gee, in that case, you won't want this one.

Just think, I'll be able to sleep with it under my pillow.

Oh! Oh!

I got the teenager for my story. And look, that kooky one, the sleeve grabber.

That's enough, little girl. That's enough.

Excuse me.

Oh, hi, Stan. Getting yourself a good story?

Yeah, I think it's going to be better than I expected.

Come on, Molly. Let's get to the hotel. I have a press conference set up for you.

What's your name, young lady?

Her name is Lillian, Lillian Jones, isn't it, honey?

If you say so.

Oh, come on, Stan. You don't want to miss that press conference.

I'm sorry, Gwen. I've got another assignment. Lillian,

my paper would like to do a story on you. May I take you home?

Oh, I'm sorry, mister. I'm not allowed to go out with men. I'm only 14 years old.

Well, let's get to the hotel stand.

Gimlet's for everyone.

It's only an interview, Lillian. Well, put your picture in the paper.

Make you famous. Come on, I'll get a cab.

I'll go with you.

No, I'm sorry, Gwen. I want to speak to her alone. I want to get the real story.

Wally, I'll meet you at the hotel. I have something important to take care of.

OK, Gwen. I'll go on ahead and change into my other sleeve.

Hello?

Thank goodness you're in. Mike, I'm in a terrible jam. What happened?

Did Loco run off and join the Brownies?

I wish he had. A newspaper reporter's got her. What are you talking about?

Mike, you've got to work fast. Get the elevator boy to help you round up some stuff.

You've got to make our place look like a teenager lives there. And another thing,

it isn't Loco. Her name is Lillian.

You'll have to make believe you're her... her aunt or something.

Oh, great. Auntie Mike. Yeah, I know you're in a spot.

I'll do the best I can. Yeah, goodbye.

I might have known something like this would happen.

Now, how do I make this place look like a teenager lives here?

Well, thanks for taking me home, Mr. Lewis. Goodbye. Hello.

I'm Stan Lewis from the Daily Bulletin. May I come in?

Well, what's the matter? Is anything wrong, Lillian?

Oh!

Oh, no, I'm okay, Mike.

Is that any way to talk to your aunt in front of strangers?

It's Auntie Mike, and you remember that.

Oh, yes, Auntie Mike, I'll try to remember.

Do you live here with Lillian and her folks, Mrs...

It's Miss McCall, and I am her folks.

Just what concern is all this of yours?

Well, I met Lillian at the airport when Wally Grant came in,

and I want to do a story on her.

Oh, you wouldn't want to do a story on Lillian, Mr. Lewis.

She's a very confused girl.

I sure am. It's amazing how confused I've gotten in only 14 years.

It was like that all the way in from the airport.

But I've still got to get this story. Would it be all right if I came in?

Oh, I'm sorry, but the place is a mess. Some other time, perhaps. I don't mind.

Well, you can sure see a teenager lives here.

Mike!

I mean, Auntie Mike. What happened? I didn't pick up after you,

that's what happened. You silly little child.

I think you'll find a clear spot over there, Mr. Lewis. Thanks.

So that's where it was. It's been murder getting

to school on one roller skate all week.

Uh, tell me, Miss McCall, how...

How do you feel about your niece chasing after visiting

celebrities and tearing their sleeves off?

Doing what?

Oh, look, Eddie. I got another one.

Sounds like she has quite a collection.

Oh, yeah.

Let's see.

I've got three sleeves, a collar, two neckties, a shirt front, And three pant legs.

She never throws anything away.

Miss McCall, how are you related to Lillian?

Well...

Mr. Lewis!

And do you have any hobbies, Lillian?

I guess my only hobby's Wally Grant.

Look, I can't write this way. Do you mind if we stop?

Chicken!

Oh, my goodness. Annie Mike, may I see you in the

next room for a minute, please? Certainly, dear.

You will excuse us, Mr. Lewis.

Mike, we've got to do something. My date's due here in 20 minutes.

I'll have to get rid of him.

You stay here and start getting ready. You better.

I've got to age 10 years in 20 minutes. I think I just did.

I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Lewis, but you won't be able to speak to Lillian anymore.

She's not feeling very well.

What's the matter?

Well, she has a dizzy spell.

How can you tell?

Mr. Lewis!

I'm sorry. I hope she'll be all right.

I'll be back in the morning to see her.

You'll be back?

I've got to get this story. I don't have a thing yet.

Except a slipped disc.

Thanks very much, Miss McCall, for your help.

I just remembered we won't be here in the morning. Look,

I mean Lillian has to go to school.

Come by early and drive her over.

See you then. Bye. But Mr. Lewis.

I heard that. How can he drive me to school if I don't go to school?

Oh, but you'll have to go to school. Why?

Because Gwen's in a spot and you can't let her down. I guess you're right.

Oh, I know I'm right.

Looks like we've created a monster.

I'm just a teenage Frankenstein.

Good morning. How is everybody?

Loco, one half hour ago we met in the bathroom. We combed our hair together,

we brushed our teeth together, we opened the mail together, remember? Oh,

that's right. I said good morning already.

Gee, Gwen, this is a wonderful publicity break.

Wally Grant's picture on the front page.

Who's that goofy-looking kid hanging around his neck? That's you, Lillian.

Oh!

All this publicity sure ought to make your boss happy.

Well, up to now he is, but if Stan Lewis ever finds

out who that goofy-looking kid really is, I'll be ruined.

Don't worry, that reporter won't find out.

Yeah, if he shows up, I'll let him drop me off at school like we planned,

then I'll sneak back home, right?

Why did I ever get into the publicity business?

There are so many more peaceful jobs I could have taken, like girl safecracker.

That must be Stan Lewis calling from the lobby. Goodness, I'm not even dressed yet.

Why don't we tell him I'm still sick? Maybe he'll go away.

You don't know reporters.

He'd just cap on that doorstep downstairs and who knows what he'd dig up.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mr. Lewis.

No, no, no, don't come up. Lillian will be down right away. Yes,

she's over her dizzy spell.

I hope.

Oh, is this your school?

I think so.

You think so?

Aren't you sure of anything?

Oh, you know, us teenagers, we're even more confused than people.

Are you sure you're over your dizzy spell?

Oh!

You adults are so funny.

Well, hello. Oh, you forgot your books.

Peyton Place?

Oh, we're studying that in geography.

Or is it biology?

I am confused today. Well, bye.

Oh, it's been nice knowing you, Mr. Lewis. I hope I gave you a good story.

Oh, great story. My boss will be thrilled with it. Nine pages of giggles.

Loco, I can never thank you enough for the way you fooled that reporter.

You really saved my life. Oh, I was glad to do it for you, Gwen. Well.

Hasn't Lillian grown up? Who is it tonight? Chris Harcourt again.

He's taking me to the opera.

It sounds like you and Mr. Department Store's are getting serious.

Oh, now, Mike, just because we've gone out together

a few times and... Oh, there he is now.

My hair's a mess.

Well, Chris, I... You're not Chris.

No, I'm Stan. Stan Lewis.

Sorry, we don't want any. I'm from the Bulletin.

I came to see Lily and Jones.

Oh, Mr. Lewis. Hello, Auntie. How are you?

Will you tell her I'm okay?

Yes, yes, of course.

This is Billion's sister.

Oh, yes, that's right. I'm her sister. I'm loco.

Well, I guess having that kid for a sister could do it to anybody.

Look, uh...

I know it's a little late, but I'd like to see Lillian. Where is she?

She's in the kitchen. Coco, she was in the kitchen,

but I saw her go into the bedroom. There's more privacy there.

She's doing her homework.

My editor is after me for that story. Could I speak to her?

Well, I'll go get her for you.

Won't you sit down?

Aren't you leaving? I'm going to get Lillian. Mr. Lewis is here to see her.

Thanks.

Lillian?

Sarah Lewis?

Lillian's sister's very attractive. Did you say her name's Local? Yes.

Look, Lillian.

This is a surprise. What are you doing here?

Well, isn't it obvious?

Is in what ideas?

Uh, she's here on publicity business for Wally Grant. That's right.

Lillian is president of his fan club. Remember?

How can I forget? She's head sleeve grabber.

Oh, Gwen. Gwen, you've got to help me.

I just haven't been able to get through to her.

Well, let's face it. If she were Dr. Livingston,

I'll bet even Stanley couldn't get through to her.

Won't you please sit down?

Thanks.

Stan, you'll only be able to speak to Lillian for a minute. It's past her bedtime.

Isn't it a bit early?

Oh, no, it's not easy being a 14-year-old, you know. Especially for Lillian.

Hi, Mr. Lewis. Oh, Mr. Lewis, I've got the craziest new record.

It's just wild for dancing.

Please, please, I...

I still haven't gotten over yesterday's session.

My slipped disc is still sliding.

Mr. Lewis, how about one for the road?

One for the road?

I haven't had the first one yet, but I could sure use one.

You know, it's amazing, the resemblance between you and your sister.

Oh, it only seems that way because we look alike.

Hi, take a little soda in mine, please.

Same for me. I'll have mine straight.

Oh, I always...

Well, bedtime. Good night, everybody.

Wait a minute.

I haven't had a chance to speak to you.

Come on, Stan. It's getting late. We've got to be going.

I still don't have my story.

I feel one of my dizzy spells coming on.

Good evening, Miss McCall. Good evening. Is Loco ready? No.

Well, hello there.

I'm Loco's sister.

I'll go get her. Hey.

Mr. Harcourt, you know Miss Kirby. Hello, Mr. Harcourt.

Hello.

And this is Mr. Lewis.

How do you do? I'm pleased to meet you.

Mr. Harcourt?

Oh, my... Oh, no.

No, thank you.

Don't you want to get back to the office?

I didn't know Loco had a sister.

Oh, didn't we ever mention her?

No.

I'd certainly like to get to know her better. Don't push your luck.

Are you sure I can't get you something?

Oh, no, no, thank you.

Come on, Stan, we have to go. I'll tell you all you want to know about Lily.

All right, about now, I'm more interested in local. You know, she's a real doll.

Now, just a second there, fella. Miss Jones happens to be my date.

Good night, Lillian. Sleep tight.

Yes, dear, I'll say good night to Mr. Lewis for you. Oh, hello, Chris.

I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

Mr. Lewis, Lillian says nighty-night.

She...

What's the matter?

Loco, since when do you wear braces?

She doesn't really need them. She only wears them around the house.

Well, they certainly wouldn't be very appropriate for the opera.

Who'd ever notice the braces with those shoes and socks?

Loco, I don't understand. Well, I'm beginning to.

Uh, tell me something, Lillian.

Lillian's in the bedroom.

Come on, now, there's no Lillian. Oh, I should have known.

Even a teenager couldn't be that kooky. Let me see that.

Loco, is that you?

Yes.

Well, that does it.

Please, Mr. Harcourt, it's all my fault.

I wanted to make sure Wally Grant had a big reception.

Good evening.

But, Chris, what about our date?

Date?

My dad's on the opera committee.

If he ever knew I ran around with a girl who chased after rock and roll singers,

he'd cut me off without a store. Goodbye.

Oh, brother.

This makes me boiling mad.

Sorry, Stan.

Don't be sorry, Gwen. You were just doing a job.

But that no good phony. Walking out on a nice

kid like you because you helped a friend.

Then you're not mad, and you won't print the story? Ha!

What story?

Oh, you're a doll!

There's one condition.

What's that?

If Lillian will permit me, I'd like a date with her sister.

Well, I'll ask her. Is it all right with you, Lillian?

Sure, loco, go right ahead. He looks like a live one.

Hi, girls.

How'd your date go? June Stein hit it off.

Oh, I had a wonderful time. He took me to the Starlight Club. The Starlight Club?

That's where Wally Grant is singing.

I know, I know. He was just great.

Absolutely marvelous out of this world.

When he sang...

I don't know what came over me.

Loco, now you sound like you really are president of the Wally Grant fan club.

Another sleeve?

Any questions?