Original subtitles

Experts predict that within five years,

a rocket carrying a man will land on the moon.

The project will cost millions of dollars.

Before you go shipping men off to another planet,

make sure we have enough right here on Earth.

Don't we?

Of course not. And why send a man to the moon when a man with

millions of dollars could be much more fun on a honeymoon?

Oh, this new contour chair feels awful.

Honey, you're in it wrong.

Turn around.

But I tried it that way.

Don't go around.

Oh, thank goodness. I was beginning to think I was built wrong. Loco,

are you sure you can take all this, son?

Oh, yes, Mike.

I love it.

Mail call.

How'd we do, Gwen? Not bad. No new bills. Just a few nasty reminders.

Oh, what's this? From Quigley Industries.

Anybody here buy a Quigley?

That's the stock my boss gave us a tip on last month, Quigley Industries.

I almost forgot. We own ten shares.

Say, maybe they declared a dividend.

No, it's just a notice of an annual stockholders meeting.

Why are they writing us about it? They want our proxy.

Well, they've certainly got a lot of nerve.

Loco, this is a proxy. It gives the board of directors the right to vote for us.

What are we running for? No.

As stockholders, we're part owners of the company,

and this proxy allows the board to cast our votes at the meeting.

But if they're nice enough to invite us to the meeting, why don't we go?

Besides, why should we let them do our voting for us?

Loco, we own ten shares between us. That's three and a third apiece.

Only the big stockholders go to those meetings.

That's right, only the real wealthy ones. There's no reason...

But this is a democracy, and everybody should cast his own vote.

Local, you know something? You've got an idea there. I have? Yes,

this is a democracy where everybody should vote.

And the poor little stockholders have the right to meet the big wealthy ones.

Even Larry Quigley might be there.

Larry Quigley.

Isn't he the millionaire?

And playboy president of Quigley Industries.

Mike, weren't you at a party of his once?

Oh, was that a wild one.

For a finale, he took us on a moonlight ride in Central Park.

Oh, I've been on a moonlight ride in Central Park.

On an elephant?

He sounds like fun. Then we're going, huh? We have to. Remember our pledge.

The pledge.

On my honor, I promise to do my best to have one of us marry a millionaire.

All for one and one for all, so help us... Quidditch Industries!

Shh, shh, shh.

Well, hello, Jim. Good to see you again.

Once a year, we... Oh, how do you do, Mr. Parkhurst?

Let's see.

We have you down for 5,000 shares, correct? That's right.

Your charming wife going to be with us this year? No, no, she's out shopping,

spreading around some of the dividends.

Well, I hope you enjoy the meeting. Thank you.

Thank you. How do you do, young ladies?

Miss McCall, Jones, and Kirby.

Ten shares.

Yes.

Isn't it exciting to know that we own part of all this?

The ten shares are owned jointly by the three of you?

That's right. We're a cartel.

Come on, girls, let's put democracy in action.

Oh, excuse me. Oh, it's my fault.

I'm Loco Jones.

Hi, I'm Ben Irwin.

How many shares do you own?

Huh?

Oh, I can tell. I'll bet you're one of those real big stockholders.

Honey, I'm the guy who delivered the donuts.

Say, if you run short, just call us and we'll rush some more right over.

That was an interesting trend.

Yes. Oh, the company certainly did have a good year. I think.

Well, the profits were off, but it still looks promising.

I lost you for a minute.

Hi.

Miss Jones, Mr. Delaney.

How do you do?

Pleased to meet you.

Mr. Delaney and his wife are from Cincinnati.

Oh, that's too bad.

What's too bad?

She means March and April, two bad months.

Oh, yes, yes. Oh, but May was lovely.

It didn't rain once.

Now, stop worrying, Earl.

I can't see any problem that could possibly arise during the meeting.

Of course. What's so unusual about a board of directors

being rewarded with a little extra bonus?

That's all right, if we haven't bitten off more than the stockholders can chew.

You got one of those purple pills? Yeah, sure.

The way I've got the proposal worded,

there isn't a stockholder out there who'll see anything wrong with it. Guys,

we've got young Quigley's proxy.

That'll give us enough oats to swing it. Sure there's no chance of his showing up.

A gallivanting young president?

He hasn't made it once since he inherited the company.

I don't think he ever will,

unless we change the menu from coffee and donuts to

showgirls and champagne. Well, time to go to work.

By the time the meeting is over, we'll be able

to afford showgirls and champagne, too.

Take your places, please. The meeting's about to begin. Isn't this exciting?

Here we are, rubbing elbows with big business.

Oh, excuse me.

I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I'm Miss Jones.

My name's Parkhurst.

How do you do?

You know I'm so nervous.

This is the first time I ever owned a company. Is it for you?

No. No, not exactly.

I think they ought to do this more often.

I just love these little get-togethers, don't you?

Only reason I bought in the company. I'm wild about their donuts.

The annual stockholders' meeting of Quigley Industries is now in session.

I'm your board chairman, Mr. Bannister, and these are my associates on the board.

Mr. Goodson, Mr. Lockwood.

Our president, Mr. Lawrence J. Quigley, Jr.,

will not be with us today, unfortunately.

He was detained by a transportation problem.

He probably couldn't get his elephant through the revolving door.

No excuse? I think it's just terrible not coming to his own meeting.

We will now proceed.

If any of you have any questions, feel free to ask them. Mr. Lockwood. Thank you.

Now, the first order of business is acceptance

of the minutes of last year's meeting.

All those in favor of dispensing with the reading

of the minutes and approving them unanimously, please say aye.

Aye.

All those opposed? No.

Now, the next order of business.

Excuse me a moment.

Do you wish to address the chair?

Well, that's silly. I want to talk to you.

Loco, sit down. Oh, but he said we could ask questions.

And after all, I am one of the owners.

Young lady, you're right.

What is your question?

Well, I didn't own part of the company last year,

and we weren't invited to the meeting, so I'd kind of like to know what happened.

You mean you want us to read the entire minutes?

If you don't mind.

Young lady, that would take an hour and a half.

But I don't understand. Then why do they call them minutes?

Mr. Bannister, please go ahead. Miss Jones withdraws her request.

I only wanted to know what happened at last year's meeting.

They served chocolate cupboard donuts.

Oh, they're my favorite.

You may proceed, Mr. Lockwood. Thank you.

The next order of business is approval of the proposals

recommended by your board of directors.

You've all had time to read them in your stockholders' report.

Unless I hear any questions,

I'll entertain a motion that they all be passed unanimously. So moved.

Thank you. All those in favor of approval, say aye. Aye. All opposed?

Well, I do have a question.

Somehow, I thought you would.

The first couple sort of makes sense, but what is a bonus...

Executives.

Miss Jones, it means just what it says. Every big company has it.

Mr. Lockwood, you may proceed.

But I don't understand what it means.

No, sit down.

But this is a democracy, and I'm entitled to know.

You're out of order.

Just a moment. She's within her rights. You're out of order, too.

You didn't ask for the floor.

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

Gentlemen, gentlemen!

I move Miss Jones's question be answered.

You can't make a motion you haven't been recognized from the chair.

Oh, this is Mr. Parkhurst. I know him very well.

Who ever let her in this meeting?

She's got just as much right to be here as you have.

Sure, she's a stockholder.

And I want to know more about that boneless plan myself. Quiet!

Order! There's only one thing to do. Adjourn the meeting. Ladies and gentlemen,

nothing can be accomplished this way.

The meeting's adjourned till 2 o'clock tomorrow.

All I did was ask a simple little question, and all Mrs.

Mulberry's cow did was kick over a simple little lantern.

Oh, excuse me, Miss Jones. Would you step into the office for a few moments alone?

Well, you don't have to worry about tomorrow, Mr. Bannister. We won't be back.

Oh, I don't know about you two, but I'm coming back.

If I own part of this company, I want to learn all about it.

Do they always carry on like that at the meetings?

Never before today. But the board wants to get together with you, Miss Jones,

and explain a few things.

Why, that's very sweet of you.

You girls run along. I'll see you at the apartment. Mr. Bannister,

I have some wonderful ideas for next year's meeting.

For instance, I think you... You ought to serve cinnamon buns instead of donuts.

They're much less fattening.

Well, it doesn't look like we're going to receive any dividends,

so where do I go to unload my three and a third shares?

The Chicago fire was nothing compared to what's

going to happen to Quigley Industries.

I still don't know if we should have left her there.

The thought of Loco alone on Wall Street frightens me. What could possibly happen?

Are you forgetting 1929? Nice of you to board.

See you next week.

Lovely meeting, wasn't it?

Oh, yes, I enjoyed it immensely.

Miss.

Why, Larry.

Larry, quickly.

Well, look who's here. Now, don't tell me.

Diana.

Shirley, Marsh, Edith, tell me.

I bet the elephant wouldn't have forgotten.

But of course, the circus party, your Mike McCall, the one with the boy's name,

and that's where the resemblance ends.

Larry, I'd like you to meet my roommate, Gwen Kirby. Hello.

You know, I spent six years in college, and they never gave me a roommate like you.

What are you girls doing here?

Oh, we're just coming from your stockholders' meeting. You missed it.

I planned it that way. I just stopped by the cashier's

office to get some loot, you know how it is.

Oh, of course. After all, those elephants don't just live on peanuts.

So you two girls are stockholders, eh? Mm-hmm.

You know something?

I never knew the company was in such good shape.

May I drop you off? Quigley Industry Service, you know?

Well, we were going home, Larry.

Well, let me take you there.

Maybe we could have a stockholders' meeting all our own.

All I did was ask a simple little question.

And you were perfectly entitled to, Miss Jones.

We want to apologize for the way the meeting got out of hand,

but you do understand I must follow parliamentary rules.

Oh, are you English?

Give me one of those pills.

Anyway, as long as the meeting is going to be so dull tomorrow,

we thought you might like to see a matinee.

We were lucky enough to get tickets for the hit show, The Happy Song.

Oh, I'd love to see it.

But I just couldn't.

But it's a great show. You can't even get tickets sold out for two years.

Really, I couldn't enjoy it.

There's so many things I want to learn about the company.

For instance, that bonus plan. I hope I'm not out of order.

Of course not.

The bonus is just a little token for our years of service on the board.

It's really not very important.

But it is important. I think you deserve more money.

After all, you poor fellas have to do all the work while

that Larry Quigley is running around town on an elephant.

You mean you approve of our elephant? I mean, the plan?

I certainly do. If you're asking for more money, I'm sure you need it.

You know, Miss Jones, I think you can help us get our bonus.

How?

It's very simple. Just be here at tomorrow's meeting.

Now you've seen the whole apartment.

Quite a place you have.

Oh, we just love the view from the terrace.

Not bad from here either.

Soup's on.

Love those crazy green croutons.

Excuse me.

You know, this is the kind of stockholders' meeting I like.

Shall we drink the minutes?

Second the motion. Marco!

I'm sorry, Gwen, I forgot my key.

How'd you get along with the board of directors?

Oh, those poor men.

That Larry Quigley must be a miserable person. He underpays them,

and they work so hard. I must have come up too fast in the elevator.

Oh, you're talking, and I can't hear a thing.

Loco, dear, we have company. Oh, thank goodness it's coming back.

Loco.

I'd like you to meet Larry Quigley.

I'd like to meet him, too.

Boy, have I got things to tell him.

Hi there. Hi. Mike, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?

Loco, this is Larry Quigley.

Larry, our roommate, Miss Jones.

I'm sorry. I didn't see you, Mr. Quigley.

Please, let's not be so formal. Just call me what all my friends do, miserable.

Well, they ought to know you better than anybody. Uncle!

Mr. Quiggy's our guest.

Oh, no, no, no. Let me hear what I've done to my poor,

downtrodden board of directors.

You may be our guest, but I think it's just terrible.

You don't go to your own meetings. They do all the work,

and I'm sure they don't get paid enough.

Maybe we ought to set up an emergency soup kitchen for them. At the Waldorf?

And speaking of soup, could I have another old crouton?

Loco, let's forget the whole thing. Make believe you never even met the board.

Oh, I couldn't do that.

They're counting on me at tomorrow's meeting.

We aren't going to the meeting.

I am.

They've asked me to introduce that new bonus proposal.

What bonus proposal?

The one for the board of directors.

Some president.

If you go to the meetings, you'd know.

Touché, but one thing I do know, they're not entitled to a bonus.

Oh, I wouldn't say that. Loco, that's enough. Mr. Quigley's here on a social visit,

and you're getting out of line.

Girls, I don't want to cause any ill feeling. I just better be running along.

Oh, no, Larry, please.

Really, really, I must go. It's been fun.

Thanks for the consomme.

Loco, I'm so mad I could... And I wouldn't blame her one bit.

She gets a millionaire interested in her, and you chase him away.

Well, how could she be interested in anyone who's so mean to his help? Loco!

Honey?

You're getting involved in something that's way over your head.

Now, I want you to forget about that meeting tomorrow. Oh, but I can't. I promised.

If you introduce that bonus proposal or whatever it is,

I'll never speak to you again.

Mike.

Gwen?

Mr. Chairman, members of the board, and fellow stockholders.

I would like to propose a resolution.

Wouldn't miss this for anything. What have you got planned for today?

Oh, you'd be surprised. Not after yesterday.

Looks like Loco intends to go through with it.

I don't think she will.

What do you mean?

Well, she has to read that proposal, doesn't she? Yes.

Look what I've got. You're a genius. Just call me Fingers McCall, girl.

The meeting will come to order,

and I hope we'll proceed with more decorum than we did yesterday.

When we adjourned, I believe Miss Jones had the floor. Miss Jones.

Here I am.

Hello, Mr. Goodson. Hello, Mr. Lockwood.

Miss Jones.

You have something to say?

Oh, yes.

Oh, would you hold these, please?

Miss Jones, you do have something to say?

Well, you know I do. Why do you keep asking?

Will you proceed, please?

Mr. Chairman, members of the board, and fellow stockholders,

I would like to propose a revolution.

That's resolution. Perhaps you better read it.

I think I'd better. Thank you.

That's funny. I can't find my glasses. They're not in here.

Oh, here they are.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

I beg your pardon.

Order!

Miss Jones, will you please take your seat?

Well, I will if I can find it.

Right over here. I'm sorry.

Ladies and gentlemen, in order to expedite matters,

the resolution Miss Jones wishes to propose is the bonus incentive plan,

as listed in the stockholder's report, and recommended by your board of directors.

Unless there are any objections, I would like to put it to a vote.

I object.

Mr. Quigley.

I would like to introduce the president of Quigley Industries, Mr. Lawrence J. Quigley.

Ladies and gentlemen, Unfortunately, I needed that introduction.

Most of you don't know me because I haven't been active in the business. You see,

I thought that the company was in good hands, but

thanks to Miss Loco Jones, I found out otherwise.

Mr. Quigley, you're making a serious implication. I sure am.

You've already got a bonus clause in your contract,

and the plan you're trying to sneak through would reduce the cash

reserves to a point so low that it would endanger the company.

Mr. Quigley, you're showing a lack of confidence in

your board of directors. You're darn right I am.

Turn in your gavel. You're through.

Loco, Loco, I want to thank you.

Without you, you know, I wouldn't have known what was going on.

I'm not sure why, but I think we owe you an apology.

Yes, and here are your glasses.

Gee, I'm so happy we're friends again. But there's one thing I don't understand.

What's that, dear?

When do I get a chance to propose my resolution?

No, Loco, remember? Oh!

Mail call.

Oh, it better not be another stockholders' meeting.

I don't think I could go through one of those again.

No, just a few bills and a letter from our new congressman. What does he want?

Oh, it's just an invitation to attend a session

of Congress if we're ever in Washington.

Congress.

That's wonderful. Then we could really see democracy in action.

Loco.

Just sun yourself, dear.

But they're our representatives. We voted for them,

and the least we can do is to go...

The United States is the greatest country in the world,

and Congress has been doing a magnificent job of running it for almost 200 years.

Let's not mess it up.