Original subtitles

This is a whaling expedition.

The target is the sperm whale from which millions of dollars are made annually.

From this largest of mammals comes ambergris, the basis for expensive perfumes.

Yes, there's a fortune to be made on the high seas.

Thanks, but I'm a landlubber myself.

Oh, and how do you plan to make your fortune?

Easy. You marry it.

I don't understand. Right next door. There must be a way to meet him.

We could turn the record player up real loud. Then when he comes over to complain,

we could introduce ourselves.

No, we tried that on the last fella that lived there. Was he rich and handsome, too?

No. He complained to the manager about noisy neighbors and moved out.

Let's not take any chances. Let's see.

Say, we could tell him we need a fourth for bridge. Yes. Oh, of course,

Loco doesn't play bridge.

Neither do I. Well, that makes three of us.

I'm for just being honest. Let's tell him we

need a one for solitaire, a millionaire.

Mike, I think we're pressing.

Why don't we just happen to be standing in the lobby? Then when Mr.

Lawrence passes through, Mr. Toby, the manager,

could just happen to be there and he'd introduce us.

That's a good parley, Gwen, but it's too much of a long shot.

That wouldn't happen once in a blue moon.

I met him, I met him. The man next door, Mr. Lawrence? Yes.

Local, how in the world did you ever arrange that? Well,

I just happened to be standing in the lobby, and then Mr. Lawrence walked through,

and Mr. Toby, the building manager, just happened to be there, and he introduced us.

Oh, no.

The moon is blue. Oh, we sat in the lobby for quite a while and talked and talked.

But is he nice? Well, he's young and good-looking, and he seems quite successful.

He imports jewelry and things like that. He's nice.

Oh, golly, I'd better get dressed. He's taking

me to dinner tonight. Eureka! No, El Morocco.

Hmm, a jewelry importer.

What's Loco got that we haven't got?

A jewelry importer. Come on, let's help her dress.

Good idea, Mike. You get her clothes ready, and I'll manicure her engagement thing.

I know you just love money.

And Gwen, the other girl, has dark hair.

Sounds like I've got three very attractive neighbors.

Would you like to meet them?

Very much.

Oh, well, my key's here somewhere.

I see a comb, my lipstick, mail file.

Oh, here's a note.

Oh? Would you read it for me while I look for my key? Certainly.

Reminder.

Don't leave apartment without key.

Mike, Gwen, it's me.

Oh, I guess they're not home yet.

Well, let's have a cup of coffee and wait for them at my place, shall we?

Okay.

Oh, this is just like our apartment, except we don't have a pipe rack on the desk.

Well, this is more or less a bachelor apartment.

I guess that makes ours an old maid's apartment, darn it.

Please sit down, Uncle.

I'll put on some music.

Oh, I thought I heard a door close. Maybe the girls are home.

Well, I'll check and have them join us. Excuse me.

It makes sense.

Oh, Loco, it wasn't your roommates.

Oh, well, they should be home soon.

They usually eat at the Automat just down the street.

We can check again later.

How about having that coffee while we listen to some music?

Okay.

Do you like Brahms, or would you prefer something lighter?

Oh, just coffee. I couldn't eat another thing. Yes.

I know. I picked up a Pat Boone album today.

Oh, it's in the bedroom. I'll go get it.

Excuse me.

Loco?

Loco?

She's not home yet.

That's encouraging. Cinderella's still out with her Prince Charming.

And this time I hope the slipper fits.

It will if she doesn't put her foot up.

Here's hoping.

Well, while we're waiting for Loco to come home with a progress report,

it's back to old faithful.

Yeah, we can always watch that cute weatherman on Channel 11.

You gotta go for him, don't you, Mike?

Yeah, it sort of gets me the way he says.

Early morning clouds with light variable winds.

Sorry, Mike, but your friend the weatherman isn't listed. What? Why?

He's been replaced by puppets.

How do you like that? My romances are now being followed up electronically.

Hi, Tommy. Isn't he cute?

Yeah, cute, but once, just once, I'd like to come home to a real live man.

You got your wish, lady. Don't scream. I'm just passing through.

Who are you?

Never mind that. How do you get out of here?

Through there, the living room.

Anybody in there?

No, sir.

Let's make sure, huh? Come on, lady.

That's it.

There's nobody here, honest.

Oh, just check.

I don't bother with small stuff.

Well, good night, ladies. It's been charming.

And forget you saw me, huh?

Oh.

I didn't think I was going to have any trouble with you, girl.

Get that rope.

But the laundry isn't dry yet.

Get it. Sit down.

Tie her up.

Tighter.

Are you going to listen to him or me?

What do you think?

It's a precautionary measure. You need a few minutes to get down into the street.

This will keep you girls away from the phone.

Quiet!

Beautiful.

Simply beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

I imagine the coffee's about ready. Excuse me.

Oh, I'll see if Mike and Gwen got home yet.

I hate to be doing this to such pretty girls. What can I do?

Mike?

Gwen?

Yes, Loco?

It's me. Who's that? A roommate.

Keep quiet.

Mike, I forgot my key. Open the door. One, two, cha-cha-cha. One, two, cha-cha-cha.

One, two, cha-cha-cha. Hurry up, Mike.

Okay, girlfriend, let her in.

Girlfriend?

Yeah, you're entertaining your new boyfriend.

Who brought another friend?

Now, get over there where I can keep an eye on you.

And laugh it up. It's a party.

Hi, Mr. Lawrence wants you and Gwen.

Oh, I didn't know you had a date.

Well, he dropped in rather unexpectedly.

So this is your roommate?

Loco, you were saying Mr. Lawrence wanted us to what?

Have coffee with him next door? Mike, he's a doll. Where did you find him?

Oh, I just turned around, and there he was.

Well, as they say, romance is where you find it.

Come on, Mr. Lawrence is waiting. You too.

Oh, no, we'll stay right here, and you run along, hmm?

Aw, come on. I know he'd like to meet you.

No, no.

Please. We could have so much fun together.

Oh, but we're having so much fun right here. Aren't we, girls?

Yes. Oh, look, maybe we could join you later if we aren't tied up.

Well, I couldn't think of anyone nicer to be tied up with.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Now, get over there, and we'll go on without party.

You have to do this. We won't give you any trouble. No,

you can walk right out that door, and we won't stay around.

I know you won't.

Oh, this is awful.

Now, don't you worry your pretty little head over it.

I've already notified the police.

Were the jewels very valuable?

Afraid so.

The engagement rings alone are worth over 50,000.

Engagement rings?

Yes, I had a couple dozen of them.

Oh, and he didn't even leave one.

Oh, nothing.

What was that?

I'll have some cream in my rice.

Coffee.

Well, it's been nice knowing you girls.

Hello, Frank? Tracy?

Where are you?

Did you pull the job? Yeah, I got the stuff, but the place is surrounded by cops.

Now, look, to get me out of here,

you're gonna have to pull the same gag we pull on the Cunningham job in Boston.

Well, the old doctor bit, huh?

Sure, Trace.

What'll it be this time, pal? Appendix, fracture, or a slipped disc?

Make your choice, Doc, but make it fast. I'm in penthouse G.

Place is gonna be crawling with cops. If they get nosy and come in here,

you're still entertaining your boyfriend, you understand?

I don't know, Mr.

What did you say?

I said that's ridiculous. Any policeman would know you're not our type.

I should say not. We prefer.

Right now, you prefer me, and you better make it convincing.

But.

One false move and you'll get it first.

Yes, sir.

You returned from dinner with the young lady at approximately 9.30.

That's right.

Sergeant Sully.

Yes, sir, he is.

Right away, Captain.

Mr. Lawrence, Captain Coe would like to talk to you down in the lobby. Certainly.

Oloko, maybe the officers would like a cup of coffee.

Oh, of course.

Just a little cream in mine.

All right.

Sugar?

Yes.

For my coffee?

Oh.

Well, it must be in the kitchen. Excuse me.

What's her name again? Loco.

It fits. Straight jacket, it fits. Listen,

you ask her the questions when she comes back. Oh, no, you don't.

You're the lieutenant. I'll make the notes.

You can certainly tell a man lives here. Oh?

There wasn't a single pair of nylons soaking in the sink.

There you are.

Thank you. Thanks. Miss Jones, do you mind if we ask a few questions?

About the jewelry.

Questions?

Well, if you're interested.

We certainly are. Please sit down.

In the first place, it's only costume jewelry.

I don't think any of it cost over two or three dollars.

Is that so?

Take this necklace.

It was given to me by the cutest fellow.

Miss Jones, we're not interested in your necklace.

Oh, well, this bracelet I got from Jack.

Or was it Harry?

No, no, Marvin. Do you like the name Marvin?

I don't.

No, it wasn't Marvin. It was Stephen Thomas. No, no, no, Thomas Blake.

Well, that wasn't his name either.

Blake, Blake.

Oh, for heaven's sake, who did give me this bracelet? Oh, excuse me.

From Irving?

Oh, what do you know?

It isn't even my bracelet I borrowed from Gwen.

Of course, that's only fair. Gwen borrowed my alligator

bag, and then last night, Gwen loaned it to Mike.

Miss Jones, let's get back to the jewels.

Okay.

Now, these earrings I got from... Miss Jones, we

are only interested in Mr. Lawrence's jewels.

Oh.

Well, he hasn't given me a thing. Oh, but you can hardly blame him.

We just met.

Maybe this will help.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, no, not you, me.

I'll answer it.

Hello?

Who is it?

There's a Dr. Howard in the lobby.

Tell him to come up. You're expecting him.

Would you send him up, please? I'm expecting him.

Now, Miss Jones, I want you to think very carefully.

Was the door locked or unlocked?

I think it was locked.

You think it was locked?

Yes, because when we stopped, the cab driver had to get out and open it for us.

Miss Jones, I'm speaking of that door.

Oh, that one was locked.

Oh, yes, because Mr. Lawrence had to use his keys to get in. Besides,

I remember he left them on that table. I saw them there when he went next door.

You're sure?

You mean you were alone in this apartment?

Yes, sir.

Lieutenant? Yes, Sergeant, yes.

Miss Jones, will you excuse us for a moment, please?

Well, what do you think? Oh, same thing you think.

This kid's not nearly as dumb as she acts.

She was in the apartment all alone.

Right.

I got a hunch that, uh... Oh, Lieutenant.

Young man, apartment G. Thank you.

Are you gentlemen about to leave? No, not quite.

We think we have a very good suspect.

It was Jesse, the elevator operator. What?

Who?

Yes, I just remembered. Jesse gave me these earrings last Christmas. Cute, huh?

This whole thing is ridiculous. Miss Jones couldn't have possibly taken the jewels.

The fact still remains that the lady was in the room alone.

Sure, for a whole minute or two.

And I suppose during that time,

she could search the entire apartment for the jewel case, finally locate it,

remove the jewels, and turn them over to her mob.

Mr. Lawrence, I'll have you know, I don't have... All right, local.

Mob?

She could have handed them to somebody in the hall.

I was in the hall the whole time I was gone.

All right, all right. But you can't blame us for being suspicious. That's our job.

Well, if it was my job, I wouldn't be sitting here.

After all, the thief could be hiding out in one of the other apartments, you know.

Lady, we're aware of that.

We've already got a detail making a door-to-door check-up.

Mr. Lawrence, we'll have to have a complete description of all the missing items.

I'll make it up for you right now.

Well, there were two dozen engagement rings

and... Miss Jones, we'll take care of this.

Well, I just thought I could help after all. You know, they aren't doing a thing.

Somebody has to do something.

Look, there are saints to check in here. They're bound to,

and if they do come in here,

it'll be a lot more convincing to see the patient

flat on his back. Okay, okay, you're the doctor.

Look, fellas, why don't you... Why don't you shut up?

Oh, this is it.

Let him in.

And remember...

Hi, I forgot my...

Oh, another fellow. Golly, this is our lucky day. Yeah, lucky.

Who's that? The roommate. She knows nothing.

Oh.

Oh, dear, you poor man. What happened?

Came on very sudden. Oh, I'm Dr. Howard.

How do you do, doctor?

Dear, if it isn't one thing, it's another.

I suppose you knew there was a robbery next door. Oh, no,

I guess you wouldn't know. And those poor policemen are having an awful time.

They aren't making any headway, and the crooks are probably right under their nose.

Right under their nose. Oh.

Mike, how can you sit there so casual when your boyfriend is so sick?

Oh.

Oh.

Please forgive her. She's had a hard day at the office.

Oh.

Doctor?

Doctor!

Oh, yes, lady?

Your patient. He was so healthy-looking when

I first met him. What seems to be wrong?

We don't exactly know what it is.

Is it catching?

Yes. No. I mean, yes and no.

So far, I haven't been able to diagnose it.

Well, maybe we ought to call in another doctor.

I think there's one right here in the middle.

I hope he specializes in lead poisoning.

Lead poisoning?

Is that what you think he's got? And it's very catching. Oh.

Oh, Doc, I think you better get me to the hospital.

Mr. Tracy, what about the... Police!

Open up!

Police! Maybe they'll give you an escort to the hospital.

Those sirens make them nervous.

Let the officer in.

Come on, lady, we have to... Shh!

What?

Shh!

We've got a very sick patient here.

We think it's lead poisoning.

Oh, that's too bad.

Come by the office tomorrow. I'll take a look at that throat.

And you, too.

Sorry, doctor, we have orders to check all the apartments.

You see, there's been a robbery and... Go right ahead, officer, and do your duty.

Oh, dear! Pretty bad, huh? I'm gonna have to get him to a hospital right away.

Any further delay might prove fatal.

Oh, sure, you go right ahead.

Sorry I had to bother you folks.

OK, let's get out of here.

Oh, be careful. Remember, you're a very sick man.

I'll take care of him.

I'm just trying to help.

Get the bag.

We'll send you a get well card.

Oh, that won't be necessary.

You're coming with us.

What?

Yes.

I want my two girls with me when I'm passing through the crisis.

But we really can't be... Mike, that's the least you can do.

Loco, if you don't... You're liable to start talking about my illness.

And certain people would put me in quarantine.

Can't we just stay here?

Gwen, Mike, how thoughtless can you get? If they don't want to go, let them stay.

I'll go with you. No, wait a minute.

You better stand by in case she has a relapse.

We'll call you.

Oh, come, girls.

We better get him to a hospital right away. Oh.

Nice work, girls.

Just keep it up.

Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do.

Don't stop on any floors.

You've got a very sick man.

All right.

All right, miss. These are the jewels we've been looking for.

What?

Don't give us that innocence routine. We've had you pegged from the top, you know.

Oh, no. No, this bag belongs to those men that just went down in the elevator.

Oh, is that local? What'd they look like?

Well, Gwen is a brunette and Mike is a redhead.

She has a real cute smile and she stands about five foot five.

Well, no wonder he never catches anybody.

Oh, Mike. Yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo, Mr. Policeman.

Yes, lady?

Oh, don't be too hard on that one. He's a very sick man. Come on, let's go.

What time is he picking you up? According to the card, 8 o'clock.

It's almost that now. Hi.

Hi, local. Did you get to the airport on time? Yes.

And Norman is now on his way to Honolulu.

Alone. That's quite obvious.

Come here, loco.

Just checking to see if he gave you one of his samples to remember him by.

No such luck. Well, all is not lost, local. Look what Mike got.

Oh, Mike, they're beautiful. Who'd you get them from? I have no idea,

but according to the note, it's someone I know.

Maybe it's that new young executive down at your brokerage firm.

Well, it could be.

Can you get my flowers?

Yes, officer, I got your flowers. Won't you come in? Thanks.

Hi.