All language subtitles for How To Marry A Millionaire - S01E39 - The Shortstop

Man conquers atoms, the beginning of a
new era, the space era, within ready reach,

new planets, new worlds, with
potential reservoirs of incalculable wealth.

Well, I like that incalculable
wealth bit, but reaching for the moon?

Know a shortcut, lady?

Short and sweet.

You can marry it. The End Hi,
Mike. Ready for lunch? I'm starved.

Hi, local. Where we eat?

How about the Happy Hungarian Hideaway?

We ate there last time,
and we had the meatballs,

and we didn't feel too good afterward.

Oh, I don't care. I'm so hungry I
could eat a horse. I think we did.

I can't leave yet. My boss is
talking to a very important client, B.J.

Gilmore, and I want to be sure... B.J.

Gilmore?

The Hollywood producer? He's in there.

Loco, do you know what I'm going to do
the minute he walks through that door?

Offer to marry him?

Of course not. Don't be silly.
Then let me offer to marry him.

I'm going to talk to him about Greta.

See if I can't get her a screen
test. Hey, do you think it's possible?

It's about time Greta got a break.

She certainly hasn't been getting
anywhere down at that television studio,

escorting people in and
out of isolation booths.

Lately, she's been getting
stuck with all the losers.

Yeah, spending the rest of
her time typing scripts.

Yes, she does all the work,

and then some actress who can't
type nearly as well gets the part.

So glad you dropped in, B.J. We'll
keep our eyes on the light marble,

and if it looks as though it might do
anything, we'll get right on it. Fine.

I'll be in town for about ten days.

You know where to call me. Bye now.

Mr. Gilmore.

Could I talk to you for a minute?

I'm Miss McCall, and this is Miss Jones.

How do you do?

We just want to tell you how
much we enjoy your pictures.

Thank you.

Especially Cowboy from Outer Space. Oh,

Rock LaRue was terrific when he
shot it out with the men on the moon.

Thank you.

There's the phone. Why, it may be for you.

I didn't hear any phone.

Yes, operator. Oh, he's here.

There's a long-distance
phone call coming in for you.

What? Yes, operator, we'll wait. Um,

I suppose you're in New
York looking for talent.

I'm always doing that.

Well, Loco and I, we have a friend
who... Who wants to get into pictures?

Yes, and she's very...
And she's very talented.

Yes, that's right.

And she was Miss Sheboygan of 1955.

She didn't tell us about that.

Practically everybody wants to get into
pictures. Sort of a national disease.

Oh, but Greta is really very
good. All she needs is a break.

Isn't it true that the movie business
is always looking for more new faces?

Yes.

In the audience.

What's happening?

Yes, operator.

We're waiting.

This friend of yours had an experience?

Well, she's been in
television for about a year.

Do you think she's capable?

Oh, she does 120 words a minute.

That is a fast-talking part.

Can you give her a
screen test, Mr. Gilmore?

I'm afraid that's not very practical.

But I'll be in town for
a few days, and, well,

if your friend has a part in one of
her TV shows while I'm here, well,

you can call me at the Park
Savoy, and I promise to watch.

That's perfect. Thanks ever
so much, Mr. Gilmore. What?

Operator, I don't understand you.

Oh.

I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Gilmore.
It was a wrong number. Oh, well.

Goodbye.

And say hello to Rock LaRue.

Loco, do you know what this means?

Greta's practically on her way to
Hollywood right now. Isn't that wonderful? Yeah,

if she makes it, she'll have
everything a girl could want.

Money, cars, furs.

Her own box at the races.

Her own table at all the restaurants.

Wait a minute. Suppose she
gets out there and fails.

Well, then she'll have her own
window at the unemployment office. Greta,

do you realize what it would mean
to have B.J. Gilmore see you act?

Why, he's only the most important man
in Hollywood, that's all. That's right.

His word is law in the
movies. He does anything he wants.

Why, he even made a western where the
Indians won. Sure, it sounds great.

But how am I gonna get on
television? You work for a producer at United.

Just ask him to put you in
one of his plays. I've tried,

but he can only see me leading
people in and out of isolation booths,

or taking dictation, or typing. I'm just
a glorified secretary. Well, complain.

Tell him you don't want to
be just a secretary. I did.

So yesterday he made me
a production assistant.

Hey, that sounds better. What do you do?

Take dictation, type, lead
people in and out of isolation.

Well, you'll never get another
opportunity like this. I know it.

I will try again.

They're casting a new
play at the studio tomorrow,

and I'll get into it
somehow. Now you're talking.

Takes place in the South. It's called
The Magnolia Tree. Get a part, any part,

even if you have to
play one of the branches.

You can do it, Greta.

Think of what it'll mean. You'll go
to Hollywood and become a big star.

Maybe even overnight. Yeah,
and after you become a big star,

you'll probably forget all about
us. Forget about you? Don't be silly.

Just because I'll be on top of the
world with fame and fortune, money...

Handsome men throwing themselves at me.

Beautiful clothes.

Say, before I leave, maybe you'd better
write your names down on a piece of paper.

Good morning, Mr. Tompkins.

Sir, your office is nice and
clean. I sharpened all your pencils,

and there's a fresh box of
our cabinet on your desk.

I'll have your coffee ready in a minute.

And there is no part for
you in the magnolia tree.

Really now, Mr. Tompkins, honey?

I'm just the most southern bell
you ever did me to hear me now.

Unfortunately.

Oh, come on, boss.

Just a little old
teensy-weensy part for little old me.

The answer is no, Greta.

I've told you before, no, N-O.

Well, as long as your
mind isn't closed. Hi,

y'all. Here's your
coffee. Oh, my goodness.

It smells better than
black-eyed peas and candied yams, John.

Did you order coffee or a mint julep?

It doesn't matter what I
ordered. I'm getting ham. Red,

would you please sit down
and take a few casting notes?

I sure will, Mr.
Tompkins, honey. And stop that!

All right, all right,
where were we, Charlie, now?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
somebody to play the old lady.

She's got to look, um, 70, huh?

Yeah.

Somehow, I see a much
younger woman in the part.

Greta!

Suppose we get Jane
Wilson for the part, hmm?

Yeah.

Now, would you mind taking a note on that?

Now, our next little problem... Oh, yes.

We need someone to play the
old lady's granddaughter.

Now, according to the writer's
description here, a five-year-old child...

Somehow I see a much
older woman in the part.

Well, I would... Greta, there
is no part in this play for you.

Now you've been pestering me
ever since you came to work here.

I hired you as a production
assistant, not as an actress.

Now will you stop before
you drive me out of my mind?

All right, all right,
let's get on with it. Hey,

how about that little girl I used to
read? I know, in the western. Right.

I surrender unconditionally.

Look, you've got a part.

Will you stop crying and
let's get back to work?

Who's crying?

I told you I was a good actor. And then
he said it was okay, I could have the part.

Now listen to this.

In the second act,
there's a knock on the door.

I come in and I say,
Professor McDermott...

Your car is waiting.

Well, go on. Let's have the rest of it.

Well, that's it.

Oh, I liked it. It kind of gets
you, doesn't it? Are you kidding?

That's only about ten seconds long.

If Gilmore is watching and he happens to
blink his eyes, your whole career is shot.

What can I do?

Couldn't you sort of
stretch the part a little?

You know, make it last longer. Oh, sure.

Why don't I just come on
and do Hamlet's soliloquy?

Oh, I don't think you
ought to steal another

actor's lines. Wait a
minute. Logo's got it.

Greta, why can't you be creative
about this? What do the actors call it?

Padding the part.

Well, I suppose I could try. Go on,
honey. Let's see what you can do with it.

And put some emotion in it.

Yeah.

Some emotion. Only don't
be coy. Give it the works.

Okay.

Now, somebody knock and then say, come in.

That's the cue.

I'll make an entrance. Okay.

Loco, knock on the door.

Loco, it's only somebody knocking on the
door. It isn't the FBI raiding the place.

Come in. Professor McDermott.

About the car. I believe you
wanted to use it this morning.

Have them check the water and oil.

Put some air in the
tires. Clean the windshield.

Fill the gas tank. And, well,
everything has been taken care of.

So if you're ready, Professor McDermott...

He's waiting.

Well, that's more like it.

Almost two minutes. That's a
lot better than ten seconds.

Do you think they'll let me
say all that? Well, of course.

You can't be on for two minutes and
say nothing. Now that we're all set,

I'll call Gilmore and tell him
you're going to be in the magnolia tree.

Then I'll invite him over for
cocktails to watch the show.

It wouldn't be any problem,
Charlie. Just trim it to time.

Well, we're two minutes over,
according to the last rehearsal.

There's got to be some place
to trim it. There always is.

The ideal cut could be
that part you gave Greta.

Oh, no. No, no, no,
Charlie, I couldn't do that.

My life wouldn't be worth two cents.

She'd poison my coffee.

Besides, it's only ten seconds.

That's what you think.

What do you mean? You
haven't been to rehearsal.

She's got this thing built
up to exactly two minutes.

Two minutes?

To tell a man his car is waiting?

She's liable to win the
Academy Award with this thing.

I guess I gotta see.

Greta.

Yes?

Come in here.

So, if you're ready, Professor
McDermott, the car is waiting.

You sure you don't want to do a couple of
choruses of stormy weather for a finish?

Charlie, there's your two
minutes. What a beautiful cut.

Oh, no, Mr. Tompkins.

Please don't cut me out of the show.

Oh, sorry, Greta. I
can't take a chance on you.

Oh, but this is so important.

If you cut my part, I don't know
what I'll do. I'll kill myself.

Could you hold it off another week?
Because the next show we're doing,

we're going to need a corpse.

But they just can't throw
you out of the play, Greta.

What am I going to tell Gilmore?

Tell him the truth.

It's my own fault. I should
have left the line the way it was.

You only did what any good
actress would do. You took

a part and made it a
living, breathing thing.

If it was so healthy,
how come it died so young?

What you need is an agent. They
only charge 10% of what you make.

Oh, loco, who'd want 10% of nothing?

Well, till you get a job offer 15%.

I think we can find you an agent, Greta.

What are you talking about, Mike?

You?

Why not? I'll go down and see
your boss tomorrow. Believe me,

I'll show them that nobody
pushes my clients around.

You know something, Greta?

I think she's worth 15%. Hi, honey.

Tell Mr. Tompkins that Miss
McCall is here to see him.

Oh, Mike, it'll never work.
No, that's the attitude to take.

At least we can try to... Give me
six copies of these revisions, quick.

Oh, yes?

Mr. Tompkins, this is
my friend, Mike McCall.

Oh, how do you do? Will you
get on this right away, Greta?

She's my agent.

Yeah, when you finish him, will you
send him over to... She's a what?

I'm Miss Hanson's agent.

An agent?

For secretaries? Next thing,
we'll have agents for agents.

Look, Mr. Tompkins, I
nearly stopped by to convince

you... All right, all
right, what is it you want?

Longer coffee breaks?

Maybe less dictation.

A shorter sentence. Or maybe
time and a half for semicolons.

Mr. Tompkins, I represent
Miss Hanson as an actress. Now,

I understand you cut her
out of the magnolia tree.

Oh, yes. Yes, in my spare
time, I'm a tree surgeon.

Cut out completely and ruthlessly
without any regard for her feelings.

Oh, well, perhaps I
should have used Novocaine.

Mr. Tompkins, I don't wish to waste time.

Now just restore Miss
Hanson's part and all the

lines that go with it,
and I'll be on my way.

Oh, now that's a very tempting offer.

But I'm afraid I can't... Can't I
at least have my original line back?

No.

Now will you please sit down and type?

Well, Greta, since Mr.
Tompkins won't listen to reason,

I'm afraid we'll just have
to accept that other offer.

What other offer? Oh,
yes, that other offer.

From another network, as they say.

I see. And just when did
you receive that other offer?

Well, you see, I had her
audition for a part a few days ago,

and the producer was... Oh, so that's why
you took three hours for lunch every day.

Oh, no, Mr. Tompkins, I... I was hungry.

Look, Miss McCall, I
dislike high-pressure tactics,

so I suggest you try that other network.

See if you can get Miss Hanson a
job as a secretary. Mike, I'm fired.

Yes, I'm not much of an agent.

Now she tells me. And while we're
still on speaking terms, you're fired too.

Might as well call Gilmore and
tell him not to come over tonight.

Now let's not lose our heads.

I can't afford to. That's all
I've got left. What I mean, Greta,

is that Gilmore wouldn't
have seen too much of you,

even the way you built your part up.

So, let Gilmore come to the
apartment tonight. I just got an idea.

It just came to me right out of the air.

Well, put it back.

If it's anything like your other
ideas, it needs all the air it can get.

Well, how do I look?

Like a dream.

I'm afraid we're all
dreaming. I haven't got a chance.

Oh, of course you have. Just play it big.

Oh, that's him. All right,
get lost in the bedroom.

And remember, when I give you
your cue, make your entrance big.

Okay, but if this thing
flops, you'll be in trouble.

Big.

Come in, Mr. Gilmore.
How nice of you to come.

Hello, Miss McCall. Miss Jones.

We can't tell you how much we appreciate
your coming. We know how busy you are.

Well, anything I can do to discover new
talent and develop it is worth the effort.

Please sit down. Oh, yes, sit.

Well, shall we turn on the
television? We don't want to miss your friend.

Mr. Gilmore, we have a surprise for you.

Mr. Gilmore, Miss Greta
Hansen, your next big star.

J.B., it's so good of you to come.

Don't tell me the
television studio's in your bedroom.

Television?

Please don't even mention the
word. I'm a legitimate actress.

But weren't you supposed
to be in the magnolia tree?

I walked out.

Simply walked out.

At the last minute?

Well, you know how these talented
people are. Very temperamental. Oh, yes.

She's on her good behavior right now.

Anyway, I think they got
someone to fill in for her.

I believe it was Helen Hayes. Oh, well,

Greta likes to see
these new kids get a break.

Well, I can't say that
I'm not disappointed.

I was rather looking forward
to seeing your performance.

Well, why don't I do
something for you now?

What a wonderful idea!

Well, you might run through some of
the parts you had in the magnolia tree.

Oh, not that. Oh, it was an awful part. So

long and dragging. It was nothing, really.

But I would just like to hear...
Why don't you do some Shakespeare?

Shakespeare?

All right.

Out, damn it, Spot.

Out, I say. Yet who would have thought
the old man to have had so much blood in him?

All the perfumes of Arabia
could not sweeten this little hand.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Gee, that's beautiful.

Now I wish I'd stayed
awake in high school English.

Greta, you're fabulous. Betty Davis
couldn't have done it any better.

Bless you for being so impartial.

Widescreen all the way.

Well, Mr. Gilmore...

I'm afraid I'm not interested
in Shakespearean actresses.

I was hoping to see you in The
Magnolia Tree, but, well, it doesn't matter.

I'll be going.

Oh, wait. Greta, maybe
you'd better do a scene

from The Magnolia Tree for Mr. Gilmore.

But I... Go on, do it.

Professor McDermott, your car is waiting.

Uh, is that it?

Oh, no, there's a lot more
to it. Oh, sure. In the end,

she shoots Professor McGermott. See,
she's really in love with the professor,

only she feels that he
prefers a world of science.

And she's only his
secretary, so what does she do?

I know the magnolia tree
as well as I know my name.

I was going to make it into a movie.

That's why I was so
anxious to see you in it.

In the play, Professor McDermott is a
professor of literature, not science.

His secretary is in love with him,
true, but she happens to be his wife.

And his wife doesn't shoot him.

He shoots his wife.

Mr. Gilmore is right.

I'm sorry, but this was all just
a big act to try to impress you.

I did have a part in the magnolia
tree, but it was so small they killed it.

It would have died of malnutrition
anyway. I do want to be an actress,

and this seemed like such an
opportunity. It's silly, of course,

and I owe you an apology.

I guess I should even
apologize for calling you JB.

Yes.

Yes, you should.

Because it happens to be B.J.

Thanks for being such
a good sport about it.

I've learned one thing, though.

There's no quick way to success.

Good night, Mr. Gilmore.

Wait a minute, now. You're not
getting rid of me that easily.

You mean you really think she
can act? Oh, that's wonderful.

You're going to Hollywood.

But don't sign anything.

I did five years ago, and I'm
still getting the magazine.

Wait a minute, please. Now, I didn't
say anything about going to Hollywood.

I do think you have
some talent, but you know

you're not ready to be a star, don't you?

Of course. You must have more experience.
You should continue to work in television.

Act as often as you can.

And in another year or so,
get in touch with me again.

Mr. Gilmore is right. I
will get another job,

and I'll really start
working on my career.

Yes, a job. Well, a
producer friend of mine here

in New York said he's looking for a girl.

Hand me the telephone. Now, I
don't know exactly what he wants,

but I'm sure you'll get the job.

Rodney, my darling.

No matter where you go, no matter
what you do, I'll always be with you,

thinking about you, caring
for you till the end of time.

Okay, okay. Tie about six
copies. Have them ready

for rehearsal tomorrow.
Go and get some coffee.

Right. Gwenda.

Nice to have you back.

Well, now that's mighty kind
of y'all, Mr. Tompkins, honey.

I'm glad to be back. Quick, somebody
turned on the television and said I'm on.

It was shot for a
commercial yesterday. It's on film.

And now this message from our sponsor.

This is it.

Most girls do a lot of walking during
the course of their daily activities.

There's Greta.

I recognize the shoes. They're mine.

Well, it obviously isn't
a commercial for hats.

No, it's stockings.

But I didn't know the camera
was just shooting my legs.

Looks like you're learning television from

the ground up. Well,
at least it's a start.

Congratulations, honey. You
finally got your feet wet.