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Trading Posts, crude forerunner of
America's greatest mercantile establishments.
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Vast modern department
stores worth millions.
3
00:00:14,779 --> 00:00:17,969
But a girl can't spend 75
years building a business.
4
00:00:18,629 --> 00:00:20,690
Know any shortcuts to those millions?
5
00:00:21,109 --> 00:00:23,079
Oh, I know a darling shortcut.
6
00:00:23,679 --> 00:00:24,260
Marry him.
7
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Broke again. Let's put it this way.
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I'd have to float alone to
weigh myself on a penny scale. Gee,
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isn't it awful to be broke?
10
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,930
Just when we don't have
any money. I mean, I...
11
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,180
Oh, well, let's have
some lunch. I'm starved.
12
00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:45,909
Why do you think I'm looking for money?
13
00:01:46,549 --> 00:01:49,170
Our cupboard makes Mother
Hubbard's look like a supermarket.
14
00:01:50,609 --> 00:01:51,829
Hi, loco. Hi.
15
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,000
Did you find anything in
the refrigerator? Yeah, ice.
16
00:01:58,709 --> 00:02:02,950
Loco, how do you manage to lug this
duffel bag of yours around all day? Oh,
17
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:04,799
I've got strong boyfriends.
18
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:10,030
Hey, have you got any mad money in
there? Oh, gee, I don't know. Let's see.
19
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,620
A seasoned box to the baseball game?
20
00:02:26,199 --> 00:02:27,620
You a baseball fan?
21
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:32,090
Well, just temporarily. I
mean, it's my Uncle George's.
22
00:02:33,349 --> 00:02:35,430
He's in Florida on
business. He sent it to me.
23
00:02:36,009 --> 00:02:37,849
He should have sent you a ham sandwich.
24
00:02:39,069 --> 00:02:42,370
Now, Greta, don't knock
our national pastime.
25
00:02:43,969 --> 00:02:48,020
We're practically on our way to the
ballpark right now. Well, it's okay with me,
26
00:02:48,020 --> 00:02:51,159
Mike, but I don't even
understand the game. I've never seen one.
27
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,740
Well, I've only gone once. Shake
hands with an expert. I've been twice.
28
00:02:56,419 --> 00:03:00,340
We've got a very important contact at
the ballpark. Remember that Jerry Smith,
29
00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:03,289
the tall, rangy, athletic kid
who used to run the elevator?
30
00:03:03,669 --> 00:03:06,780
Don't tell me he's a baseball
player now. Better than that.
31
00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:08,879
He sells hot dogs at the ballpark.
32
00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:12,120
Excuse me, do you know Jerry Smith?
33
00:03:12,439 --> 00:03:14,099
Sure, tall, rangy kid.
34
00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:16,069
That's the one. Where can I find him?
35
00:03:16,909 --> 00:03:20,520
Well, you're best bet as to
walk in that direction and keep
36
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,229
right on walking till you
reach the unemployment office.
37
00:03:23,409 --> 00:03:25,849
Well, that was a quick lunch.
38
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,419
Keep them lying inside,
you hear? Stop feeding them!
39
00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:42,370
Stop feeding?
40
00:03:43,789 --> 00:03:45,629
How inane can you be?
41
00:03:45,650 --> 00:03:47,250
Got a hot dog, Sid.
42
00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:48,280
Coming up.
43
00:03:49,759 --> 00:03:51,979
To listen to him, you'd
think he owns the socks.
44
00:03:52,659 --> 00:03:55,430
He does. That's Dan
Fling you're talking about.
45
00:03:56,409 --> 00:04:01,740
The Park Avenue Dan Flynn, the
millionaire sportsman Dan Flynn,
46
00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:04,400
the recently divorced Dan Flynn.
47
00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,180
Hot dogs get you hot.
48
00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:19,290
Nice going, Duke.
49
00:04:19,569 --> 00:04:25,329
Beautiful scoop-up, Duke. That's the old
put-out Duke, old boy. Nice going, Duke,
50
00:04:25,329 --> 00:04:28,230
old sock, old pal, old kid, old thing.
51
00:04:29,189 --> 00:04:30,970
Well, nice to see that
there's someone besides
52
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,980
me who cheers for the
Sox and Duke Burness.
53
00:04:34,189 --> 00:04:36,500
That's the old ticket, Dookie boy!
54
00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:39,040
Correction, besides me and Walt.
55
00:04:39,060 --> 00:04:43,420
That's the old ticket, Dookie boy! Oh,
you mean the one with the high-five voice.
56
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,649
That's him, Duke Vanessa's cousin.
57
00:04:46,209 --> 00:04:48,009
He travels with Duke the
last month of the season.
58
00:04:49,430 --> 00:04:51,379
If only Duke were
hitting the way he really can.
59
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,939
What's the matter?
60
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:57,639
The hot dog.
61
00:04:58,579 --> 00:04:59,579
I've been eating it.
62
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,439
Did you have any other plans for it?
63
00:05:02,790 --> 00:05:03,689
Yours.
64
00:05:04,509 --> 00:05:06,490
I was supposed to pass it to you.
65
00:05:07,389 --> 00:05:11,449
I see. An intercepted pass. Now, you
finish it. Let's try another Ariel.
66
00:05:11,970 --> 00:05:12,129
Uh, Sid!
67
00:05:14,050 --> 00:05:16,610
Oh, I'd love to, but I'm
with my two girlfriends,
68
00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:18,660
and I wouldn't want to eat without them.
69
00:05:19,639 --> 00:05:21,660
Okay. We'll invite them to our party.
70
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:25,310
Uh, will you join your
friend and me in a hot dog?
71
00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:26,750
A hot dog?
72
00:05:28,019 --> 00:05:29,459
What a quaint idea.
73
00:05:30,399 --> 00:05:31,500
Might be interesting.
74
00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:35,230
After all, what's a
baseball game without hot dogs?
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00:05:35,829 --> 00:05:36,389
An American.
76
00:05:38,149 --> 00:05:40,310
And that's the way it's
been for the last three years.
77
00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:43,829
Duke starts hitting like a house of
fire, the team is way out in front,
78
00:05:43,829 --> 00:05:46,060
and then in the last
month... Duke breaks a leg?
79
00:05:46,910 --> 00:05:48,470
No, but he might just as well.
80
00:05:48,769 --> 00:05:51,769
He goes into a batting slump and
the team winds up in second place.
81
00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,660
That's Duke coming up to bat
now. I'll show you what I mean.
82
00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:00,279
Come on, Duke, get hold of one.
83
00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,680
Come on, Duke, old
sock, old pal, old thing.
84
00:06:09,129 --> 00:06:11,170
See what I mean? A lousy papa.
85
00:06:11,689 --> 00:06:12,850
Well, that's the ball game.
86
00:06:14,329 --> 00:06:17,300
Well, anyway, thanks for the
perfectly divine hot dogs.
87
00:06:17,379 --> 00:06:17,920
My pleasure.
88
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,860
Look, why don't you
girls join me for dinner?
89
00:06:21,459 --> 00:06:24,089
Oh, we'd love to, but Greta
and I have made other plans.
90
00:06:24,629 --> 00:06:25,730
Well, how about you?
91
00:06:27,209 --> 00:06:31,050
It may not be much fun for you, but it
may keep me from jumping out of a window.
92
00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:35,300
Well, if it'll keep you
from jumping, I'd love to.
93
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,240
If you girls will excuse us,
we'll shoot out the back way.
94
00:06:39,319 --> 00:06:40,540
My car's parked at the clubhouse.
95
00:06:47,019 --> 00:06:49,620
Poor guy. He sure seemed depressed.
96
00:06:50,170 --> 00:06:51,470
Hope he doesn't have a penthouse.
97
00:06:52,149 --> 00:06:52,730
Relax.
98
00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:55,709
Did you notice the way he
was looking at Loco? If
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00:06:55,709 --> 00:06:57,550
he does any appalling,
it's gonna be for her.
100
00:06:58,550 --> 00:06:58,930
Let's go.
101
00:07:13,310 --> 00:07:17,600
Coco, aren't you ready yet? Dan will be
here to pick you up any minute. So what?
102
00:07:17,629 --> 00:07:19,800
All he ever does is
take me to the ball game.
103
00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:22,379
I'm getting sick of hot dogs.
104
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,290
Besides that, he told
me last night that if
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00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:27,189
his team doesn't cop
the pennant this year,
106
00:07:27,189 --> 00:07:30,269
he's going to sell it and go
on a tour around the world.
107
00:07:30,829 --> 00:07:33,110
Well, what's wrong with
around-the-world honeymoons?
108
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:35,089
You don't understand.
109
00:07:35,170 --> 00:07:38,189
He'll go alone to rest his nerves.
110
00:07:39,069 --> 00:07:41,439
Now I'm beginning to worry
about Duke's batting slump.
111
00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:42,819
That Duke.
112
00:07:43,399 --> 00:07:45,439
If I didn't like him
so much, I'd hate him.
113
00:07:46,379 --> 00:07:48,930
Wait a minute. I think
I've got an idea on how
114
00:07:48,930 --> 00:07:50,699
to solve Duke's batting problem. Really?
115
00:07:54,769 --> 00:07:55,149
Hello?
116
00:07:56,430 --> 00:08:00,180
Yes, she'll be right down. It's Dan.
117
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,439
You get going and leave Duke and
his batting slump to us. Okay, kids.
118
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,480
Maybe I'll come up with an idea, too.
119
00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:10,629
Now, now, don't exhaust yourself.
120
00:08:14,350 --> 00:08:18,620
Get me the Eastgate Hotel, please. Come
on, give. Greta, I've got the greatest idea.
121
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,699
Believe me, this can't
possibly... The Eastgate Hotel?
122
00:08:22,259 --> 00:08:25,810
Give me Duke Burness,
please. Listen, this can't miss.
123
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:26,889
Duke?
124
00:08:27,569 --> 00:08:29,740
This is Mike McCall,
Loco's friend, remember?
125
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:31,579
That's right.
126
00:08:32,259 --> 00:08:35,460
Look, Greta and I have something
terribly important to talk over with you.
127
00:08:35,759 --> 00:08:37,860
Could you drop by on your
way to the ballpark today?
128
00:08:39,139 --> 00:08:39,820
Fine.
129
00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:41,809
The Towers, that's right.
130
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:47,269
You telling me all the trouble I'm
having with my batting is mental?
131
00:08:48,149 --> 00:08:48,549
Mental.
132
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:50,360
You mean I'm nuts?
133
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,480
No, Duke, you're just brooding too much.
134
00:08:54,039 --> 00:08:55,919
You've got something on your mind.
135
00:08:57,220 --> 00:08:58,000
Girl trouble.
136
00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:58,590
No.
137
00:09:00,129 --> 00:09:00,690
Money trouble?
138
00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:01,149
No.
139
00:09:01,830 --> 00:09:02,610
Family trouble?
140
00:09:02,669 --> 00:09:02,850
No.
141
00:09:04,059 --> 00:09:05,000
Contract problems.
142
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:06,960
Waiting for pay TV.
143
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,840
No, I'm just in a slump.
144
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:12,659
Now we're getting somewhere.
145
00:09:13,759 --> 00:09:16,330
Must be just a simple
case of over-anxiousness.
146
00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:17,210
Right.
147
00:09:18,049 --> 00:09:21,590
Duke, you've got to learn to
relax. Forget about baseball.
148
00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:23,029
Maybe you're right.
149
00:09:24,279 --> 00:09:26,379
I'll just put baseball
right out of my mind.
150
00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:27,990
That's the idea.
151
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,149
I won't even think about my
darned old batting slump.
152
00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:32,730
Now you're talking.
153
00:09:33,350 --> 00:09:37,570
I'll just forget about how the team is
trailing in second place in economy.
154
00:09:38,169 --> 00:09:38,870
Just forget it.
155
00:09:39,809 --> 00:09:43,840
I won't even think about how
disappointed Mr. Flynn is in me,
156
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:49,879
and how the fans boo every time I come
to bat, and... Oh, I wish I was dead.
157
00:09:52,419 --> 00:09:55,500
Now, you listen to us,
Duke. We're your friends,
158
00:09:55,500 --> 00:10:00,000
and we believe you're the best hitter in
baseball. You've got to believe it, too.
159
00:10:00,379 --> 00:10:02,029
Oh, I do. I believe it.
160
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,649
But I'm in an awful slump right now.
161
00:10:04,669 --> 00:10:08,409
Gosh, you don't believe hard
enough, Duke. Now, repeat this.
162
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:10,740
I'm the best hitter in baseball.
163
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:13,340
I'm the best hitter in baseball.
164
00:10:13,899 --> 00:10:14,399
Louder.
165
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:17,039
I'm the best hitter in baseball.
166
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:18,539
With feeling.
167
00:10:19,279 --> 00:10:21,450
I'm the best hitter in baseball.
168
00:10:21,769 --> 00:10:26,049
That's the stuff, Duke. Now,
who's the best hitter in baseball?
169
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:26,649
Me!
170
00:10:27,330 --> 00:10:27,690
Right!
171
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,559
So why can't I get a hit?
172
00:10:30,779 --> 00:10:34,519
Three balls and two strikes in the
dueling. The pitcher winds, he throws.
173
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:45,500
What are you turning it off for?
174
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,480
I'm gonna shake that hillbilly
out of his slump if it kills me.
175
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,960
And that might be just the way to do it.
176
00:10:52,139 --> 00:10:54,120
You're beginning to
sound like our roommate.
177
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,740
Don't you remember that
scene in the Babe Ruth picture?
178
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:02,090
That sick kid asking Babe to hit
a homer for him, just for him,
179
00:11:02,090 --> 00:11:05,929
and Babe promising to do it in the
next game, and then hitting two?
180
00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:08,570
So, where do we get a sick kid?
181
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:13,639
Well, I may not be a kid
anymore, but... Okay, you're elected.
182
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:15,570
How do I look?
183
00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:19,809
Beautiful. If you were
to drop dead right now,
184
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,970
the Undertaker wouldn't
have to do a thing for you.
185
00:11:24,759 --> 00:11:26,019
Loco, what is that for?
186
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:29,740
Oh, I don't know, but in the movies,
the doctor always says, hot water quick.
187
00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:33,289
Now, places, everyone.
188
00:11:34,830 --> 00:11:36,490
Let's not take any chances.
189
00:11:49,399 --> 00:11:52,860
Mike, I came running as soon as
I heard about it. What happened?
190
00:11:56,379 --> 00:11:57,240
It's nothing, Duke.
191
00:11:58,399 --> 00:11:59,179
I'll be all right.
192
00:12:02,419 --> 00:12:03,340
All right, she says.
193
00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:06,490
She has a rare tropical disease.
194
00:12:09,039 --> 00:12:10,980
I caught it last year up in Alaska.
195
00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:13,899
Heart disease in Alaska?
196
00:12:15,139 --> 00:12:16,570
Well, that's what makes it so rare.
197
00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:19,129
But she said last year.
198
00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,350
Well, it's recurrent.
199
00:12:21,990 --> 00:12:25,539
You see, whenever she gets to
worrying, she gets run down,
200
00:12:25,539 --> 00:12:27,799
and if she doesn't stop worrying soon...
201
00:12:29,259 --> 00:12:30,710
But what's she worrying about?
202
00:12:31,470 --> 00:12:35,909
Well, knowing Dan Flynn and how
much the pennant means to him,
203
00:12:35,909 --> 00:12:37,759
you and your batting slump.
204
00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:43,580
Oh, now that's mighty nice of you, but
really, you don't have to worry about me.
205
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:45,710
Silly.
206
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:56,500
Every time you strike out, she...
If you don't snap out of it soon,
207
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:59,820
it'll be too late even for the doctor.
208
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:05,210
Yeah, already he's making her
pay on her way into the office.
209
00:13:05,289 --> 00:13:09,570
You mean if I started hitting the ball
again, you'd really stop worrying, Mike?
210
00:13:10,029 --> 00:13:13,370
You'd better, or there'll be no
use even going to the doctor.
211
00:13:14,539 --> 00:13:17,470
We'll have to send her
straight to the undertaker. You know,
212
00:13:17,470 --> 00:13:18,919
eliminate the middle man.
213
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:22,750
Well, then you're
practically on your feet again, Mike.
214
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:24,480
Because from this minute on,
215
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,149
I'm going to knock everything they
throw up to me clear out of town.
216
00:13:28,950 --> 00:13:29,529
You are?
217
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,259
You're better already.
218
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,019
Hey, break clean, Dookie boy.
219
00:13:40,539 --> 00:13:42,139
Remember, you're in training.
220
00:13:44,759 --> 00:13:47,399
Wally! They told me I could find you here,
221
00:13:47,399 --> 00:13:50,070
and I knew you'd be down in the
dumps after today's disaster,
222
00:13:50,070 --> 00:13:51,840
so I came over to cheer you up.
223
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:56,149
Well, introduce me to your
little playmate, you dog, you.
224
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:59,019
Sure, Wally, only I ain't
down in the dumps no more. Oh,
225
00:13:59,019 --> 00:14:03,710
this here's my cousin Wally, and that's
Mike McCall and Greta Hansen and Loco Jones.
226
00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:04,970
How do you do?
227
00:14:05,990 --> 00:14:07,049
Charmed, I'm sure.
228
00:14:07,669 --> 00:14:09,049
So you're the great Wally.
229
00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:13,500
Well, I see the Duke's
been telling you about me.
230
00:14:14,179 --> 00:14:16,870
Well, I can't blame him.
I taught him everything
231
00:14:16,870 --> 00:14:18,700
he knows about
baseball, right, Dookie boy?
232
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,080
You sure did, Wally.
233
00:14:20,799 --> 00:14:23,480
Wally, I'm going to step into
that batter's box and... Why,
234
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:27,870
when I took him in hand, he didn't know
one end of the bat from the other, right?
235
00:14:28,789 --> 00:14:31,360
Sure, Wally, but we were
only three years old then.
236
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,320
Now I know what your trouble
is, Duke. You're a slow learner.
237
00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:43,289
Well, that is right, Dookie boy. You
always were a little backward at things.
238
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:46,250
But now me, I'm different, right? Right.
239
00:14:46,509 --> 00:14:50,700
Who was the only one in his class who got
nothing but straight A's? You did, Wally.
240
00:14:50,779 --> 00:14:54,000
Right. And who was the only
one in his class that shaved?
241
00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:55,919
Right again, you.
242
00:14:57,440 --> 00:15:00,299
Now, what were you saying you're going
to do at the ball game tomorrow, Dookie?
243
00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:05,210
Oh, well, I'm going to step into
that batter's box, and I'm going to...
244
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:09,210
I'm gonna go back to the
hotel and lie down for a while.
245
00:15:09,710 --> 00:15:11,809
I don't feel so good.
246
00:15:14,029 --> 00:15:17,629
See? I turn my back on the kid
for one minute, and what happens?
247
00:15:18,009 --> 00:15:19,529
He comes down with something.
248
00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:24,700
Poor Duke. I wonder
what's the matter with him.
249
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:31,230
He has a rare tropical
disease. Cousin Wally-itis.
250
00:15:33,230 --> 00:15:34,850
But I still don't get it.
251
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,669
Look, Loco, I'll explain it to you
slowly. For the past three years,
252
00:15:40,669 --> 00:15:43,909
Duke has always been the
batting champ of the league, right?
253
00:15:45,179 --> 00:15:48,299
Then in the last month
of the season, just when
254
00:15:48,299 --> 00:15:50,470
Cousin Wally shows up,
disaster always strikes.
255
00:15:51,370 --> 00:15:52,720
Oh, but that's silly.
256
00:15:53,159 --> 00:15:56,980
Duke thinks Cousin Wally's a great
guy. He hasn't got an enemy in the world.
257
00:15:57,779 --> 00:15:59,990
He doesn't need
enemies. His friends hate him.
258
00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:04,559
Your Uncle George is going
to get rid of Wally for us.
259
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:05,960
Uncle George?
260
00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:10,509
But he's down in Florida
looking over some property he bought.
261
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:16,549
Well, you'll be happy to learn that Uncle
George has just found oil on his property.
262
00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:19,360
I don't know how.
263
00:16:20,159 --> 00:16:22,090
He hasn't even found the property yet.
264
00:16:23,429 --> 00:16:25,610
Just write his address down on this paper.
265
00:16:26,149 --> 00:16:27,269
Now, have you got the idea?
266
00:16:28,649 --> 00:16:32,580
There's Wally now. Just play it by
ear, local. Yeah, ear, not mouth.
267
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:33,600
Just sit there and look wise.
268
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:42,009
Oh, it's so nice to see you, Wally.
Sit down and have a cup of coffee.
269
00:16:42,070 --> 00:16:43,389
Well, I don't mind if I do.
270
00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:47,169
It's terribly sweet of you to
respond so quickly to our call for help.
271
00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:50,559
Oh, think nothing of it. After all
the practice I've had with Duke,
272
00:16:50,559 --> 00:16:52,110
helping people just comes natural now.
273
00:16:53,009 --> 00:16:53,980
Well, what's it all about?
274
00:16:54,549 --> 00:16:58,220
You see, Loco's Uncle George has
always been interested in truck farming,
275
00:16:58,220 --> 00:17:01,590
so he bought a piece of
property in Florida by mail.
276
00:17:02,029 --> 00:17:02,370
Stop!
277
00:17:03,070 --> 00:17:04,970
Let me finish the rest of the story.
278
00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:06,920
He got taken, right?
279
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,380
How did you know?
280
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,880
It's the oldest story in the world.
281
00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:14,180
Now look here, kids. In
the real estate game,
282
00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:16,609
there are a lot of sharpies
with an eye out for the suckers.
283
00:17:17,130 --> 00:17:20,069
How'd he get taken? Was the land
underwater or filled with rocks?
284
00:17:20,549 --> 00:17:21,470
Worse than that.
285
00:17:22,009 --> 00:17:26,009
Every time he tries to sink a water
well, nasty black goo comes bubbling up.
286
00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:32,559
Good gracious, Wally, what happened?
287
00:17:32,579 --> 00:17:35,420
A nasty black goo, huh?
288
00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:36,940
In Florida?
289
00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:41,779
Not only black and gooey,
but smells like tar, too.
290
00:17:41,819 --> 00:17:42,240
Smells like...
291
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:47,880
Yeah, it sounds like Uncle
George got taken, all right.
292
00:17:49,049 --> 00:17:50,509
What does he figure on doing about it?
293
00:17:51,410 --> 00:17:55,180
Well, as you can imagine, the poor
man is just sick about the whole thing.
294
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,799
So we were wondering if you
might take it off his hands.
295
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,240
Naturally, he's prepared to take a loss.
296
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:05,890
Yes, sir. I might just be able to
help Uncle George out of his pickle.
297
00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:07,170
Here's his address.
298
00:18:08,890 --> 00:18:10,650
Wally, you're a lifesaver.
299
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:14,500
Forget it. That's what
friends are for. Right, kid.
300
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:20,019
Well, I guess I'd better
catch the next plane for the Land
301
00:18:20,019 --> 00:18:22,849
of Oranges and take a look
at Uncle George's lemon.
302
00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:27,009
See you later, alligator.
303
00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:35,140
He'll be seeing
alligators sooner than he thinks.
304
00:18:38,670 --> 00:18:40,630
Cheer up, Dan. Your troubles are over.
305
00:18:41,130 --> 00:18:41,210
Ah.
306
00:18:42,029 --> 00:18:44,680
Duke Burness used to be the
spark plug of the team, right?
307
00:18:45,019 --> 00:18:45,319
Right.
308
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:49,460
And the team began losing when the
spark plug fizzled out, right? Right.
309
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,869
Well, we've gotten the
spark plug out of his
310
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,569
slump, so the pennant's in the bag, right?
311
00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:54,710
Wrong.
312
00:18:55,430 --> 00:18:58,750
And when you get the
pennant, you and local... Wrong.
313
00:18:58,769 --> 00:18:58,890
Wrong.
314
00:19:00,619 --> 00:19:03,440
Duke's no longer with the team.
His slump was driving me batty,
315
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,730
so I got a waiver from the
commissioner and traded him off.
316
00:19:06,650 --> 00:19:07,369
To the opposition.
317
00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:09,650
Oh, no. How could you?
318
00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:13,230
Oh, stop worrying. The bum
couldn't hit the side of a barn door.
319
00:19:22,849 --> 00:19:27,670
Well, it seems it's easier to
hit a home run than a barn door.
320
00:19:31,539 --> 00:19:37,109
Dear Wally, please come back.
Need you desperately. Signed, Duke.
321
00:19:37,890 --> 00:19:39,750
Well, what do you think of it?
322
00:19:40,839 --> 00:19:41,700
Waste of money.
323
00:19:42,299 --> 00:19:43,160
Waste of money?
324
00:19:43,940 --> 00:19:50,420
Sure, only nine words. Kid's really
with it. Look, Wally gets back here,
325
00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:53,230
and Duke goes right
back into his shell again.
326
00:19:53,789 --> 00:19:55,809
And with those two new
pitchers he got for him,
327
00:19:55,809 --> 00:19:59,490
Flynn's still got a fighting chance
to win. Gee, isn't that kind of dirty?
328
00:20:00,009 --> 00:20:02,740
Well, of course it's
dirty, but this is war.
329
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,210
And in war, somebody always gets hurt.
330
00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:06,569
I get it.
331
00:20:07,190 --> 00:20:08,230
The law of the jungle.
332
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:19,529
I hope you girls got
nothing planned for this evening,
333
00:20:19,529 --> 00:20:21,569
because we got us a
little celebrating to do.
334
00:20:21,990 --> 00:20:25,089
Oh, that's lovely. How sweet of you.
335
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:29,539
Girls, girls, I... I
couldn't make a pretty speech
336
00:20:29,539 --> 00:20:34,400
to save my life, but
if I could, I'd say...
337
00:20:36,410 --> 00:20:37,730
Thanks for being the sweetest,
338
00:20:37,730 --> 00:20:41,940
most helpful trio of gals I ever had
the dumb kind of luck to run into.
339
00:20:43,799 --> 00:20:45,920
Like I said, I'm not
much of making speeches.
340
00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:50,109
For a guy who can't make
speeches, you do pretty well.
341
00:20:51,369 --> 00:20:52,670
Must be beginner's luck.
342
00:20:54,009 --> 00:20:55,690
Really, all that stuff you fed me about...
343
00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:57,930
Confidence and things.
344
00:20:59,410 --> 00:21:00,750
Well, I guess it finally took.
345
00:21:02,349 --> 00:21:03,589
Well, I'm mighty grateful.
346
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:06,710
Oh, that's enough of
speech-making. Let's sit.
347
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,599
I knew I forgot
something. Champagne. Now, don't
348
00:21:10,599 --> 00:21:12,119
any of you move, I'll be back in a jiff.
349
00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:18,609
Gee, he really is a sweet guy. Yeah.
350
00:21:20,269 --> 00:21:24,519
Well, Dan Flynn or no Dan Flynn, we're
not going to sick Wally on that poor guy.
351
00:21:26,539 --> 00:21:28,299
Here, you can have the honor.
352
00:21:30,619 --> 00:21:33,869
It's even worse than I
thought. Only eight words.
353
00:21:33,910 --> 00:21:39,930
Facts assume that Duke is sure fast.
354
00:21:41,839 --> 00:21:45,960
Wally! Hiya, doll. Wow,
where is he? Where's Dookie Boy?
355
00:21:45,980 --> 00:21:47,220
I heard he was up here.
356
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,140
What are you doing back here?
357
00:21:51,089 --> 00:21:52,309
Black goo.
358
00:21:53,009 --> 00:21:53,690
Oh, that.
359
00:21:54,210 --> 00:21:56,829
Well, no hard feelings, we hope.
360
00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:59,549
Are you kidding? I can't
thank you enough for the lead.
361
00:22:00,579 --> 00:22:03,079
You mean you bought
Uncle George's property?
362
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:07,109
That swamp, heck no. But I
practically sold the old
363
00:22:07,109 --> 00:22:09,960
gaffer on 200 acres of
land out in North Dakota.
364
00:22:12,059 --> 00:22:14,779
Hey, how about that
dookie boy? He sure has been
365
00:22:14,779 --> 00:22:16,500
powdering that ball, just like I told him.
366
00:22:17,019 --> 00:22:19,589
Sure, because you've been out of town.
367
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:20,480
What's that?
368
00:22:21,490 --> 00:22:21,849
Wally.
369
00:22:22,930 --> 00:22:26,579
You might as well know you have a
terrible psychological effect on Duke.
370
00:22:28,519 --> 00:22:30,920
Me, after all the
instructions I've been giving him?
371
00:22:31,460 --> 00:22:35,049
The only thing you've ever given
Duke is an inferiority complex.
372
00:22:36,329 --> 00:22:37,609
But I love the guy.
373
00:22:37,950 --> 00:22:41,190
Sure, and he thinks you're the
greatest in the world. That's the trouble.
374
00:22:41,529 --> 00:22:44,789
Most everything he did, you did better,
and you never stopped letting him know it.
375
00:22:45,109 --> 00:22:47,210
Well, it finally created a mental block.
376
00:22:48,779 --> 00:22:49,700
Man, oh, man.
377
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,440
I never meant to do anything like that.
378
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:54,579
Well, that's the way it is.
379
00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:04,690
Wally! Hiya, dookie boy. Put her there.
380
00:23:05,369 --> 00:23:08,319
Not that one. I got a little
alligator bite on that one.
381
00:23:09,420 --> 00:23:10,859
Gosh, I'm glad you're back, Wally.
382
00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:14,180
Now you can give me some more pointers
on my batting. Why, yeah, sure, I...
383
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,200
You don't need any pointers from me, kid.
384
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,059
Not the way you've been hitting.
385
00:23:21,599 --> 00:23:23,220
Besides, I got problems of my own.
386
00:23:25,420 --> 00:23:25,980
You have?
387
00:23:27,220 --> 00:23:29,220
I haven't closed a decent deal in months.
388
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,440
In fact, I had to sell a
business to pay off my creditors.
389
00:23:33,670 --> 00:23:34,650
I'm a failure, Duke.
390
00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:38,710
You a failure?
391
00:23:39,269 --> 00:23:40,589
You know why I came back here?
392
00:23:41,470 --> 00:23:42,990
This will hand you a laugh, kid.
393
00:23:43,779 --> 00:23:46,140
I came back here to ask you
if you could help me out.
394
00:23:47,599 --> 00:23:49,180
Me help you out?
395
00:23:50,829 --> 00:23:52,930
It's the first time
you ever asked me that.
396
00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:55,829
Wally, why didn't you write me?
397
00:23:56,329 --> 00:23:59,049
Why, you can have everything
I've got. If we win the pennant,
398
00:23:59,049 --> 00:24:00,170
you can have my bonus, too.
399
00:24:00,769 --> 00:24:02,410
Thanks, kid. I'll never forget it.
400
00:24:02,849 --> 00:24:09,190
Oh, don't worry about a thing, Wall, old
boy. And now for the champagne. Sit tight,
401
00:24:09,190 --> 00:24:10,680
everybody. I'll get
the glasses and things.
402
00:24:13,180 --> 00:24:16,559
That was a wonderful thing for
you to do, Wally. Magnificent.
403
00:24:16,940 --> 00:24:20,119
Greater love hath no man than
to put on that kind of an act.
404
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:21,569
Act? Nothing.
405
00:24:22,289 --> 00:24:23,150
I am broke.
406
00:24:32,470 --> 00:24:36,089
I sure am happy for
Duke. Big World Series hero.
407
00:24:36,910 --> 00:24:37,440
Me too.
408
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,579
But you know, I feel kind
of sorry for Dan Flynn.
409
00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:43,829
He's probably on his way
to the North Pole by now.
410
00:24:45,730 --> 00:24:47,430
Girls, have we got news.
411
00:24:48,130 --> 00:24:51,970
Dan just sold his baseball
team, but he's not going away.
412
00:24:53,019 --> 00:24:54,059
Wonderful!
413
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:55,940
Congratulations, sweetie.
414
00:24:56,319 --> 00:24:57,579
What are you congratulating her for?
415
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:02,829
Well, aren't you going to
start thinking about marriage?
416
00:25:03,630 --> 00:25:04,630
Oh, afraid not, honey.
417
00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:10,529
I want to win a championship first. But
you sold the baseball team. Sure I sold it,
418
00:25:10,529 --> 00:25:12,119
but I bought a football team.31957
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