Original subtitles

The forest primeval, turned into a vast reservoir of lumber and wealth.

Uh-uh, not for me.

Too many splinters.

Oh, now, really, lady, you know of a smoother way of making a fortune?

Well, not smoother, maybe, but lots quicker.

Marriott.

In acting, always remember one must use gestures

and facial expressions to emphasize ideas.

John, dear, you know I love you.

I've always loved you, and I... John, dear... John, dear, you know I love you.

I've always loved you.

We must make our future together.

Our love will conquer all.

Where you go, I go.

Come away with me, John. I'm sorry, John.

I think that's all the changing in the bedroom. Now, what do we want done in here?

John, dear, tell me what's in your heart.

I think that rug ought to be cleaned.

Tell me what you're thinking.

This room should be painted completely.

John!

The top of that coffee table ought to be refinished.

Mike, please. Don't pay any attention to us.

You and John just go ahead with what you're doing.

I'm trying to study my drama lesson.

Loco, this is very important.

Now, Mr. Toby is due here any minute to discuss the new lease,

and we've got to have this list ready for him.

Nothing is more important than my drama lesson, for which I pay good money.

I know.

Incidentally, I think John needs a new shade. We're at it. Why don't we ask Mr.

Toby for some new curtains, too?

Local, please. Let us handle this. I think that's all.

That's all? Are you kidding, Mike? No landlord

in the world is gonna do all this. Why not?

Landlords do a lot of things for desirable tenants. What's that got to do with us?

No harm in asking. Well, there's one way to do it.

I think we ought to go down and... Loco, Greta and I will take care of Mr. Toby.

Just leave it to us. Oh, all right.

I love you, John.

I'll follow you to the ends of the earth.

Stop off in Brazil and pick up a pound of coffee. We're fresh out.

I think she has a chance of ever being an actress.

Why don't you ask me something easy, like where elephants go to die?

Now she has a nice, appealing quality.

I wonder if she'd have a chance in movies.

Maybe, now that Lassie's gone into television. Oh, my, now you really do.

Toby, now let's be very nice to him, really give him the treatment.

Okay.

You don't know how it hurts me to be nice to this guy.

He's the meanest, lowest, most contemptible... Well, Mr. Toby.

Hello.

Won't you come in?

Greta, isn't this a nice surprise? It's Mr. Toby.

What surprise? You knew I was coming.

Well, it's so nice to see you again, Mr. Toby. It's been such a long time.

Rubbish. I was here yesterday. Now, what is it you girls want? Never mind.

Your lease is up for renewal. That's all I'm here to discuss.

Yes, and before we sign a lease for another year,

there are certain things we want you to do.

Such as?

We want new wallpaper for the bedroom.

No.

Paint this room and clean the rug?

Absolutely not.

Refinish the coffee table?

New curtains?

Mr. Toby, if you're not going to repaper, paint, and clean up this place,

what are you going to do?

I'm going to raise your rent 10%. What?

That's ridiculous. The rent's too high as it is.

We won't pay it. We'll move out.

That's the nicest thing anybody ever said to me.

Mr. Toby, be reasonable.

Don't you like to keep desirable tenants?

Certainly.

What's that got to do with you?

See what I mean?

Oh, uh...

You have a week to make up your minds. Pay the increase or vacate.

Oh, please.

Be good to a prematurely old man. Grant him one final wish.

Get out!

Well, there he goes, on his way to the old lady's

home to sprinkle banana peels on the steps.

Well, what are we going to do? How can we swing a 10% raise in our rent?

We'll just have to give up a few luxuries, you know, like food, clothes.

We can't skimp anymore. We're the poorest tenants in the building as it is.

Yeah, it's embarrassing. When they pick up the garbage cans, ours is always empty.

But now we won't need one at all.

Greta, we can't move. We owe everyone in the neighborhood.

So we can owe everybody in a different neighborhood. Not me.

I'm not going to start breaking in a whole new set of creditors.

Stay here and pay the 10% raise.

Oh, look, we like this apartment. It suits us. We're used to it.

I don't think we could ever find anything as good. Well, maybe you're right.

Oh, I know I am. Mike! Greta!

I think I've got this part down now.

I love you, John, dear.

Take me away with you tonight.

If you and John are going to skip the country,

you couldn't have picked a better time.

Mr. Toby was just here, and he's going to raise our rent 10%.

Oh, no! Oh, yes, and there's not a thing we can do about it.

Couldn't we offer him a compromise?

What compromise?

He'd lower our present rent. We'd pay the increase.

I mean, let's forget it. We'll stay.

Sure.

Let's forget it.

Oh, you girls have done a swell job.

No improvements and a 10% raise in the rent.

Well, I suppose you could have done better.

Maybe, if I tried.

After all, a good actress can talk anybody into anything. Oh, stop.

You can't even talk John into running away with you.

Go ahead, make fun.

I'm sorry, local. We wouldn't hurt your feelings for anything. Of course not.

One of the first things we learned is the art of

acting means being able to persuade an audience.

And after all, what's an audience?

People.

I'd never have known.

I'll bet if I worked on Mr. Toby, I could get him to change his mind.

All right. Suppose you did talk to Toby. What would you say?

Well, I guess I'd work on his sympathy.

I'd look at him and I'd say, Mr. Toby, would you let three girls like us,

three girls who have always been good to their parents,

would you let us be thrown out into the street?

Would you, Mr. Toby?

Would you? Would I?

Just give me the chance.

Would you stand by and let three helpless girls be thrown out?

Would you stand by and do nothing?

Do nothing? Certainly not. I'd help you pack.

To you, this might be just another penthouse, but to us, it's shelter from the rain.

I'll lend you an umbrella.

But if we go, won't you miss us?

Won't you feel a certain pang deep, deep down?

Do you really want to know?

Nope.

Toby!

Come here. I've tried to show you some consideration,

but I can see your type doesn't appreciate kindness.

Aha! Now then, sir, if you insist on raising the rent, we shall move. Move!

Do you hear? Then what will you do?

I'll give 50 bucks to charity.

Face it, Toby, my patience is at an end.

We shall move. That is my final decision.

Will you put that in writing?

This is a standard release form. Just sign it and we'll be all set.

What an empty gesture.

Now I suppose you'll tell me you've forgotten your pen.

We shall see which of us has the stronger will. Mr. Toby.

Now, I dare you to pick it up, Toby.

I'll expect you to vacate by the end of the month.

Oh, people do get a break.

Mr. Toby, please.

It was only a dare.

Yes, and I took it.

Mr. Toby, three girls like us,

three girls who have always been kind to their parents.

Please, that's where I came in.

Mike and Greta.

They'll kill me.

Oh, my cup runneth over.

How could you do such a thing, Loco? Sign a release without consulting us.

I'm sorry. I thought it would scare him when I told him we'd leave.

It's like trying to scare a hopper with a new hat.

I'll get it.

Oh, hello, Miss McCall. If you don't mind, I'd like to show Mr.

Peabody here the apartment.

Sorry, nobody home. Toby wants to show the apartment.

How do you like that? Why, that vulture.

I told him nobody was home.

That's clever.

What was he supposed to think you were, an answering service? Well,

you might as well let him in. We can't fight it.

You can come in now, Mr. Toby. We just wanted time to hide the silverware.

Mr. Peabody.

Now, you'll find this one of our choicest apartments.

Shall we take a look at the bedroom first, right this way?

We've had it. Start packing.

If he's showing the apartment to people, he really means business.

There's got to be something we can do. Of course the man might not like the place.

Sure, if not, we can make sure he doesn't like the apartment. Well, fine,

but there'll be other people here to look at it.

One at a time. We'll take them as they come.

And if the apartment isn't rented by the first of the month, who knows?

And spacious closets.

All in all, a very nice bedroom, isn't it, Mr. Peabody? Yes, indeed.

Oh, we knew you'd like it. Of course, the wallpaper is a little dirty. Oh,

the top layer. You can peel that off.

If you do, you'll be in the next apartment. They're very nice people.

Next door, I think.

I'll tell Mr. Peabody everything he needs to know about the apartment. Thank you.

Now, you'll notice this is a very large living room.

The room would look much bigger if it were painted. Oh, I don't know.

It's kind of a nice effect the way it is.

The dirty walls harmonize with the dirty rug.

It's the only apartment in the building with wall-to-wall dirt.

Mr. Peabody, why don't we have a look at the kitchen?

When you get out there, be careful of the ants.

Ants?

Oh, the ants won't bother him, Mike. They're too busy playing with the termites.

Termites?

Oh, yes. They've been chewing away at the walls for years.

Are you sure? Never mind. I think I've seen it.

There's obviously quite a bit wrong with the place.

But I'll take it.

On the condition that you fix up all the things that

these ladies have been kind enough to point out. What?

I want the living room repainted, the rugs cleaned, new wallpaper in the bedroom,

and do something about the termites in the kitchen.

Now, look. Take it or leave it.

Oh, all right.

It's a deal. Good.

Thanks, girls.

If it hadn't have been for you, I never would have known about the defects.

Well, kids, as of the first of the month, we will have no apartment.

What are we gonna do about it?

For the answer to that question, I give you the genius who got us into this.

Miss Loco Jones.

Me? Oh, what am I supposed to do about it?

Something clever.

Like find us a place to live.

But I don't have the time. We're studying a new character in drama class this week.

Pocahontas.

You know, the Indian girl.

And, uh, I'm going to be very busy.

You sure are, Pokey old kid.

You Indian girl, you lose him this teepee for settlers. You take him classified,

and you find him new teepee right away, savvy?

I can Indian girl find him new teepee, or we scalp him.

Yeah, we got a pretty good response to the ad, but not so good to those apartments.

Look, Mr. Brady, I'm only a renting agent, not a hypnotist.

Hold it, hold it. I think I got a live one.

I'm terribly sorry, but you're just a little too late.

The last apartment went about an hour ago.

That's all right.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Well, what can I do for you, young lady?

You're adding the paper, but I guess I'm too late.

Oh, I'm afraid so. You have to move fast in these better apartments.

Oh, gosh, I don't know what I'm going to do. I've looked all over the city,

walked my feet off to the ankles.

What do you know about that?

Know about what?

I've been a renting agent for 25 years.

Never slipped up before.

I must be getting old or something.

I forgot all about apartment 6B.

Oh, golly.

Can I see it?

Why not?

Thanks, Mr. Norton.

Oh, gee, I hope I like it.

Like it?

Well, my dear lady, you'd be mad about it. Now,

believe me, lady, you are apartment 6B.

Well, let's go, Miss Woodward. Huh?

I thought you were great in your last picture.

You are Joanne Woodward, the movie star, aren't you?

My name is Jones.

Jones Smith. Don't worry, I'll keep your secret.

Oh, no, honestly.

Do you really think I look like Joanne, Woodley?

Oh, spit an image.

You'll excuse the expression.

Well, I'm an actress, too.

At least I'm studying to be one.

Well, of course, anybody with your looks would have to be talented.

I just can't wait to tell the owner we have an actress living in the building.

An actress that looks like Joanne Woodward.

And he said I look just like Joanne Woodward.

Three bedrooms, living room, dining area, and kitchen.

As soon as he laid eyes on me, he knew I was an actress.

Yeah, I think...

I think there's a bathroom. Well, I was so excited.

Why don't you and Greta meet me here at 5 o'clock,

and then you can see the place for yourselves.

Okay, it's a date.

Mike, imagine anyone confusing me with Joanne Woodward. Why,

you could have knocked me over with a...

Hello? Hello?

Here we are, ladies.

I'm sure Loco said 5 o'clock. When you make a date to meet Loco at 5 o'clock,

you also have to know what day and what year she means, and what planet.

I guess we'll be along soon.

Right in, ladies.

When did your subscription to House Beautiful expire?

I knew you'd like it the minute you saw it. Everybody does.

One of our real choice apartments. Wonderful layout.

Nice roomy closets. Over here.

Hold it.

Maws are no problem. All you have to do is close the door and squeeze them to death.

Well, we didn't want to take too much away from the size of the room.

Oh, I guess it'd be all right for people with narrow clothes. Yeah.

Now, I want you to pay special attention to the...

So how about raising the shade and getting some light in here?

Well, we try to keep out the glare of the afternoon sun, but here I want you to...

Well, I'll admit the view isn't much,

but it's the interior of the apartment that counts.

The decor.

The exquisite custom-made furniture. Sure.

Greta, if we move in here, we're going to have to buy padded girdles.

We keep slipcovers on to save the furniture.

For whom? The Smithsonian Institute? Oh, that's a lovely picture, isn't it?

I've never seen anything like this in my life. Come on, Greta.

What, ladies, you don't like it?

Oh, with a few weeks' work, it could become

the perfect eyesore. You're not interested.

You're making a big mistake.

Where are you going to find another apartment like this?

Under the nearest manhole cover.

Do you think we ought to wait for Loco? Why? When she wasted our time on this?

If our friend shows up, will you give her a message?

Tell her we said to stop looking at any more apartments.

And she said you can stop looking at any more apartments.

That's the message.

Gee, I'm so glad they liked the place.

Liked?

They said they'd never seen anything like it.

I'm quoting.

I wish I'd been there. That darn cross-town traffic.

Well, the important thing is, they saw the apartment.

And they liked it.

They were really worked up.

Well, are we ready to talk about Elise now?

Oh, I think maybe I'd better discuss it with my roommates first.

Yeah.

Maybe you'd better do that.

I'll call you as soon as we decide, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be all right.

Fine.

Say.

Yes?

Are you sure you're not Joanne Woodward?

Oh, yeah. You see, we have completely different techniques. There is Stanislavski,

and there's Chekhov. Now, I know it doesn't sound like it,

but they're very bright men.

One of them talks about carrots. It doesn't make any difference at all to me.

Mr. Peabody.

Sorry to disturb you.

Oh, that's all right. Come in.

Thank you.

Is, uh, Mr. Toby here by any chance?

No, he isn't.

Unless one of us murdered him without telling

the others and hid his body under the sofa.

Now she thinks of it.

The elevator boy said I might find him here.

Certainly too bad I'm not going to be able to enjoy this.

Why not?

My company's transferred me to London for a year. Just got the news an hour ago,

and now I'm stuck with this lease.

You think he'll try and hold me to it? What sort of a person is Toby?

You've heard of Jack the Ripper. Well, Toby makes

him look like good-time Charlie. Oh, he's mean.

Mean, mean, if you know what I mean.

Wouldn't sound too good.

If he tries to hold me to it, I'll have to sublet the place,

and that's a lot of trouble.

Yes, it is a lot of trouble.

Greta, don't we know somebody who... Well, now, let me think.

I'll think too.

Any thoughts?

Yes, although the rent's awfully high for the people I'm thinking of.

Just what I was thinking.

Well, I think we can do something about that. Say, uh, 20% off? 20%?

You know, Greta, it really wouldn't hurt us to stay another year,

and it would help Mr. Peabody.

We'll take it.

Wonderful. I certainly appreciate this. Thank you.

I'll just call Toby and give him the news.

No, no.

Let us tell him. Yes, I've heard a lot about Harry Carey,

but I've never seen it done.

Yeah, well, goodbye, girls, and thanks again.

Goodbye. Oh.

The old roof over our heads again. With a reduction in rent yet.

And Toby has to do all the things we wanted. Repaper, paint, clean the rug.

Don't forget the termites in the kitchen. You know we have no termites.

We'll get some.

Oh, Pocahontas, you've come home to the teepee. Oh, Loco,

we don't have to worry about a place to live anymore. I know.

You know. Oh, sure. I just signed the lease with Mr. Norton.

There.

I think she fainted.

Oh, she's unconscious. Get some water, quick. Leave her alone. Leave her alone?

Just as she is. If I decide to kill you, I don't want any witnesses.

I don't understand, local. What's this compulsion to keep signing your name? Honey,

you know there's more to being an actress than just giving out autographs.

I couldn't help myself.

He kept telling me how much I looked like Joanne Woodward, and I...

I guess it just went to my head.

Let me see that lease.

He put the other copy in the safe as soon as I signed it.

Naturally. Oh, don't waste your time, Greta. Knowing Norton,

I'm sure it's all perfectly legal, and we haven't got a leg to stand on.

Wait a minute. Neither has he. Look at the way she signed it.

Mike, shake hands with Loco Woodward.