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College graduation.
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00:00:05,509 --> 00:00:09,460
Thousands of young men and women sharing
among them all the knowledge of the ages.
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00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:13,859
How to write
anti-disestablishmentarianism in Babylonian cuneiform.
4
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,660
How to catapult a pup into orbit.
5
00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:18,359
How to stop dandruff.
6
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,239
There's one thing they
don't teach them in college.
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And what is that?
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How to marry a millionaire.
9
00:01:08,099 --> 00:01:10,950
Well, Mike, it's 8 o'clock.
Shouldn't Loco be home by now?
10
00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:12,549
Well, let's see.
11
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She leaves her studio at
6, walks to the subway 615.
12
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There she discovers she forgot
her book, walks back to the studio.
13
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That's 630.
14
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Can't find the book
because she left it at home.
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Walks back to the subway that 7.15.
16
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She takes the wrong train,
17
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so right now she should be about
two stations from Flatbush. Uh-oh.
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You just can't depend upon that kid.
19
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This is where we live.
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Girls, I'd like you to meet William
Paxton, the well-known playwright.
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These are my roommates,
Mike and Greta. Hello.
22
00:01:54,709 --> 00:01:55,269
How do you do?
23
00:01:56,079 --> 00:01:56,780
Won't you come in?
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Yes, please do. Thank you.
25
00:02:01,359 --> 00:02:05,099
Well-known playwright? Maybe,
but I'm afraid not at the bank.
26
00:02:06,989 --> 00:02:07,870
Sit down, William.
27
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Would you care for something to eat?
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Oh, thank you, but
words are my staff of life.
29
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Yes, words sustain me. Words nourish me.
30
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,800
Well, how about washing
them down with a little fruit?
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Oh, well, I suppose social custom
requires that the amenities be observed.
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I think that means pass the fruit. Oh.
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So you write plays, Mr. Paxton.
Should we have seen any of them?
34
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You should have seen them all, to really
enjoy a new experience in the theater.
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00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,030
Unfortunately, none of
them have ever been produced.
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00:02:56,240 --> 00:03:00,740
Well, what sort of plays do you
write? Comedies, tragedies, mysteries?
37
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That drivel?
38
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My plays are for the intellect.
39
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The intellect that searches
deep within itself and asks why.
40
00:03:11,370 --> 00:03:12,129
Why what?
41
00:03:12,789 --> 00:03:15,949
Exactly. Why what?
Those are the key words.
42
00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:18,169
Say, you girls have perception.
43
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Just listen to this scene from
my new play, Time is a River.
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Dynamo speaks.
45
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Dynamo?
46
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It's an allegorical play.
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Dynamo is the spirit of electricity.
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Dynamo.
49
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It is gone.
50
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Gone it is. It is gone.
51
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Gone it is.
52
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That's the way dynamo speaks?
53
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Alternating current.
54
00:03:47,969 --> 00:03:51,289
Carburetor speaks, the
spirit of the machine.
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Gone, gone, gone.
56
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Sounds real gone.
57
00:04:03,650 --> 00:04:04,349
Charlie?
58
00:04:04,969 --> 00:04:05,879
Who's Charlie?
59
00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:07,639
Charlie is man.
60
00:04:08,259 --> 00:04:11,490
Grasping, greedy, ever
clinging to that which is his,
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00:04:11,490 --> 00:04:14,000
and ever desperate to possess even more.
62
00:04:15,430 --> 00:04:17,089
Sounds just like our landlord.
63
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:19,529
Charlie speaks.
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00:04:20,709 --> 00:04:24,790
Yes, the bluebird is
gone, and I saw it go.
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00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:28,660
A streak of blue against the
gray slate of the morning sky.
66
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,639
Oh, that's beautiful, William.
67
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:33,579
Let's hear some more.
68
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,040
Well, that's where I'm stuck. I
just can't seem to finish this scene.
69
00:04:38,009 --> 00:04:39,709
I'm sure you'll get it, William.
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00:04:39,750 --> 00:04:44,310
A fine writer like you
should have no... Oh, darn.
71
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,819
They must be fixing
those hot water pipes again.
72
00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:48,899
Well, I'll go tell him to stop.
73
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,899
No, no, wait. Don't you hear it?
Don't you understand what it means?
74
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,240
No hot water tonight.
75
00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:57,829
No! That beat, that rhythm, that's it.
76
00:04:58,410 --> 00:05:01,879
Life pounding at man's
brain. Our tortured existence.
77
00:05:03,759 --> 00:05:04,420
Over here, William.
78
00:05:04,439 --> 00:05:04,819
Oh, thanks.
79
00:05:14,129 --> 00:05:15,629
An uncomfortable way to work?
80
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:18,269
What is comfort?
81
00:05:19,009 --> 00:05:25,370
Comfort is inertia. Inertia is laziness.
Laziness is waste. Waste is discomfort.
82
00:05:25,610 --> 00:05:27,350
Hence, comfort is discomfort.
83
00:05:28,069 --> 00:05:28,589
You follow me?
84
00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:30,170
Sort of.
85
00:05:32,689 --> 00:05:35,170
But if I ever find my way back,
I'll never make the trip again.
86
00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:45,019
Gosh, he's typing like mad.
He's done ten pages already.
87
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,579
Loco, do you really
understand this play? Well,
88
00:05:48,579 --> 00:05:52,000
there's this dynamo and
the blue bird that flew away
89
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,170
with Charlie's
carburetor. No, neither do I.
90
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,449
Machines talking like people.
91
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:01,689
Well, if they talk like machines,
you'd never understand them. Besides,
92
00:06:01,689 --> 00:06:03,870
he said it was an allegorical play. Oh.
93
00:06:05,769 --> 00:06:06,449
What does that mean?
94
00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:10,230
Well, it means you have
to guess what it means.
95
00:06:10,810 --> 00:06:11,870
Maybe that's it.
96
00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:14,930
But on the other hand, who
are we to judge William's work?
97
00:06:14,970 --> 00:06:16,769
We know nothing about the drama. Why,
98
00:06:16,769 --> 00:06:20,120
there may be a gold mine in
a fellow like William. Yeah.
99
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,660
With these highbrow
things, you never can tell.
100
00:06:24,379 --> 00:06:27,730
Remember that painting at the Museum
of Art? Everybody was raving about it,
101
00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:29,879
and then they found out
it was hung upside down.
102
00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:33,230
Hey, maybe they ought to do
William's play backwards.
103
00:06:34,689 --> 00:06:39,050
Look, even the critics disagree. Who
knows? Certainly not the producers.
104
00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:43,279
Why, I heard that Eugene O'Neill's
first play was turned down about 20 times.
105
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:47,560
Well, William hasn't had quite that
many refusals, but he's working on it.
106
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,819
Oh, hello, William. Come on in.
107
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,610
It's finished. I'm finished.
108
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:59,990
How wonderful. Girls,
William finished the play.
109
00:07:00,069 --> 00:07:01,389
Just listen to this finish.
110
00:07:02,329 --> 00:07:04,769
Yes, the bluebird is gone.
111
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:08,310
A streak of blue against the
gray slate of the morning sky.
112
00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:12,259
Yet behold, here is the bluebird.
113
00:07:13,339 --> 00:07:13,939
Gosh.
114
00:07:15,129 --> 00:07:17,189
It's very impressive.
115
00:07:18,069 --> 00:07:20,610
Yes, now let me see if I
can figure out what it means.
116
00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:25,779
Oh, simple. The bluebird is hope. Hope
forever renewing itself. Hope eternal.
117
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:30,889
You know, it is kind of beautiful.
If you keep explaining it. Well,
118
00:07:30,889 --> 00:07:32,089
it certainly is different.
119
00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:33,629
What's the next step?
120
00:07:34,290 --> 00:07:37,509
Money. At best, only a
material satisfaction.
121
00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:38,569
Sure.
122
00:07:39,189 --> 00:07:42,800
But where do we dig up a
few yards of that material?
123
00:07:42,899 --> 00:07:44,500
I wish we could help
you out, William, but...
124
00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:50,319
Say, why don't we set up an
audition for backers? From what I hear,
125
00:07:50,319 --> 00:07:52,399
that's how all the
producers raise money. Sure,
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00:07:52,399 --> 00:07:55,379
we can invite all our rich
friends and have coffee. Hold it, Loco.
127
00:07:56,079 --> 00:07:58,740
We don't even have rich
enemies. Wait a minute.
128
00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:01,490
Loco, forget our friends.
129
00:08:02,089 --> 00:08:04,850
Why can't you ask your boss
down at the modeling agency?
130
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:08,720
Then he can pass the word along to some
of those wealthy clothing manufacturers.
131
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:13,470
And I could ask my boss. A big
television producer should know all the sponsors.
132
00:08:13,629 --> 00:08:16,240
And then I'll see what I can do
down at the brokerage office. Oh,
133
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,600
I think it's a wonderful
idea. William, how about you?
134
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,060
Do you know any important people?
135
00:08:21,779 --> 00:08:22,879
Just Baron Andati.
136
00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:29,399
A baron? What can we
count on him for? His tuxedo.
137
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,139
He's the head waiter at
the 3rd Avenue Hofbrun.
138
00:08:43,049 --> 00:08:46,879
Oh, come in. Good evening. Is this
where they're having the audition?
139
00:08:47,399 --> 00:08:49,940
Oh, yes, yes. Won't
you sit down? Thank you.
140
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,480
It looks like we're going
to have a full house. Yes,
141
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:58,750
I only hope they understand what
William is trying to say. It's pretty simple.
142
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,720
He's trying to say, put up money.
143
00:09:01,899 --> 00:09:04,679
Gosh, isn't it
wonderful? All these people here.
144
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:08,809
Do you think they'll like
the play? I sure hope so.
145
00:09:09,529 --> 00:09:13,149
Well, if there's any doubt, I think we
can make them think they think it's good.
146
00:09:13,710 --> 00:09:16,009
Gosh, Mike, you talk
just like William Wright.
147
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,750
I mean, it wouldn't
hurt to scatter ourselves
148
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,779
through the crowd and applaud like crazy.
149
00:09:21,799 --> 00:09:24,649
Wouldn't that look kind of
obvious? They know who we are.
150
00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:29,269
Well, who else can we
get? Hey, wait a minute.
151
00:09:29,850 --> 00:09:33,909
I just got a brainstorm. If I'm not
back in five minutes, you wait for me.
152
00:09:55,169 --> 00:09:56,620
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
153
00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:03,779
Thank you very much.
154
00:10:04,659 --> 00:10:06,679
Please, save your applause for the show.
155
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:08,870
Now, before we get started,
156
00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:12,360
we'd like to call your attention to
the pledge sheets given you at the door.
157
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,059
These are for your
convenience in designating
158
00:10:15,059 --> 00:10:17,450
how much you'd like to invest in the play.
159
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:21,649
We feel it's an outstanding work, and
we hope you'll want to be part of it.
160
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,580
And now for the play.
161
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,320
Ladies and gentlemen, the
author, William Paxton.
162
00:10:36,529 --> 00:10:36,870
Thank you.
163
00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:42,289
Act one, scene one.
164
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,809
The time, another time.
165
00:10:46,669 --> 00:10:50,500
The characters, a
combination of people and things.
166
00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:53,340
You might call them thing people.
167
00:10:54,659 --> 00:10:57,100
The place, out there.
168
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,139
Out there.
169
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:14,200
And now, as the shadows deepen around the
rusty, disabled machines, Charlie enters,
170
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:19,690
gazes at them thoughtfully and
repeats, Yes, the bluebird is gone.
171
00:11:20,149 --> 00:11:23,360
A streak of blue against the
gray slate of the morning sky.
172
00:11:24,519 --> 00:11:27,620
Yet behold, here is the bluebird.
173
00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:40,029
And the curtain slowly descends.
174
00:11:42,289 --> 00:11:48,330
Well, we did the best we could. I
know. Thanks for coming, Jesse.
175
00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:50,909
You too, Sophie.
176
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:52,370
Mr. Quimby.
177
00:11:54,519 --> 00:11:55,519
Here are the pledge sheets.
178
00:11:56,039 --> 00:11:58,299
I guess we can save them
till the next audition.
179
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,820
My hopes, my dreams.
180
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,299
Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.
181
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:12,019
What's this? $25,000? $10,000? We did it.
182
00:12:12,039 --> 00:12:15,120
We're in. I'll just go and change my
clothes, and then we'll go out and celebrate.
183
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,509
Gosh, and we thought that
he... Wait a minute, locals.
184
00:12:27,049 --> 00:12:28,470
Look at these pledge sheets.
185
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:35,230
Jesse Flug, our elevator operator.
Sophie Hornbussel, the chambermaid.
186
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:37,570
And John Quimby, the handyman.
187
00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:43,720
That wasn't that sweet. Moco,
they haven't got any money. I know,
188
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:50,730
but it's the thought that counts.
What about this one? $10,000, J.P.
189
00:12:50,809 --> 00:12:54,289
Abercrombie. Which one was he? I
don't know. I didn't invite him.
190
00:12:54,309 --> 00:12:56,669
Neither did I.
191
00:12:57,639 --> 00:12:59,779
Well, what's the
difference? Who invited him?
192
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,100
I always say if a person appreciates
something and really believes in it... Loco,
193
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,480
what are you talking about?
194
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:09,950
I'm J.P. Abercrombie.
195
00:13:19,629 --> 00:13:23,960
But Mr. Templeton, you can't condemn a
play on just one incomplete hearing.
196
00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:26,000
Where's your sense of fairness?
197
00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:27,879
Oh.
198
00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:32,679
What'd he say? Yeah,
about his sense of fairness.
199
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,620
He said it couldn't
compete with his sense of smell.
200
00:13:35,639 --> 00:13:42,789
Well, I'm gonna try just one more person.
It's pretty discouraging. It certainly is.
201
00:13:44,350 --> 00:13:45,649
Hello, Mr. Thorndyke?
202
00:13:46,529 --> 00:13:49,909
This is Mike McCall.
About the play last night.
203
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,799
But Mr. Thorndyke, you
only stayed for one act.
204
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:56,379
I see.
205
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,419
He figured the same fella
wrote the other two acts.
206
00:14:02,110 --> 00:14:03,210
Looks like it's unanimous.
207
00:14:04,389 --> 00:14:05,490
I just knew it wouldn't work.
208
00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:07,889
We should have told
William the truth about those
209
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:10,330
pledges last night. Oh,
but how could we, Mike?
210
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,740
He was so happy. He took us
all out to celebrate. Yeah,
211
00:14:14,740 --> 00:14:19,600
and the entrance he made into the
automat, like Diamond Jim Brady.
212
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,470
What are we going to do? Unless you can
think of someone else to call. Greta,
213
00:14:24,470 --> 00:14:28,210
what about your boss? He never
did show up at the audition.
214
00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:30,389
Oh, he doesn't have
that kind of money anyway.
215
00:14:32,169 --> 00:14:32,809
Wait a minute.
216
00:14:33,549 --> 00:14:36,350
Maybe I can get him to do
the play on television.
217
00:14:36,929 --> 00:14:38,330
Gosh, that would be wonderful.
218
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,379
Well, let's hope he likes
it, and I'll know soon enough.
219
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:51,019
When he doesn't like something,
he starts tearing up a little bit.
220
00:14:52,570 --> 00:14:54,990
Now, Greta, I know the play is different.
221
00:14:55,490 --> 00:14:56,269
It's too different.
222
00:14:57,139 --> 00:14:59,220
You mean too artistic for your taste.
223
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,830
Now, Greta, you know I'm as
artistic as the next fellow.
224
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,789
Well, then perhaps you
didn't understand the play.
225
00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:06,730
Of course I understood it.
226
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:09,870
Then it must be too high class for you.
227
00:15:11,029 --> 00:15:11,779
Too high class?
228
00:15:13,149 --> 00:15:16,019
Didn't I put on the
Sioux City Ballet last year?
229
00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:18,879
So you don't think I can do anything arty?
230
00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:19,649
Well.
231
00:15:21,809 --> 00:15:24,470
I'll talk to Mr.
Shelverson, the executive producer.
232
00:15:25,669 --> 00:15:29,399
Unless the play is too artistic
for your taste. Now, Tompkins,
233
00:15:29,399 --> 00:15:32,470
you know I'm as artistic as
the next fellow. All right,
234
00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:35,320
maybe you didn't understand the
play. Of course I understand.
235
00:15:35,659 --> 00:15:37,919
Well, it must be just too
high class for you, then.
236
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:40,470
Too high class?
237
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:46,700
Didn't I put on the Sioux City Ballet
last year? To think of it, that was your baby.
238
00:15:47,559 --> 00:15:53,450
Just in case you still think I'm a
lowbrow, well... I'll talk to the sponsor.
239
00:15:54,629 --> 00:15:56,590
Did I sponsor the Sioux
City Ballet last year?
240
00:15:57,230 --> 00:15:57,929
Sponsor?
241
00:15:58,529 --> 00:15:59,610
It was all your idea.
242
00:16:00,809 --> 00:16:07,269
Well, I like fine art as well as the
next fellow, so... I'll talk to my wife.
243
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:12,820
They're going to put it on
television. I knew it was a good play.
244
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,139
Those people we invited
were just a bunch of lowbrows.
245
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,080
That's why the play went over their heads.
246
00:16:20,629 --> 00:16:24,909
Oh, hi, William. Come on in. Oh,
William, have we got good news for you.
247
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,759
Come right in here and sit down.
248
00:16:26,779 --> 00:16:27,139
Right here?
249
00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:32,480
Yes. Now, William, my boss wants
to put your play on television.
250
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,259
Television? But what about our investors?
251
00:16:36,850 --> 00:16:41,320
Well, William, those pledges were
signed by a broken-down elevator operator,
252
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:47,120
a handyman, a chambermaid, and a Girl
Scout with a hole in her head. I see.
253
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,940
Well, at least I've
reached the common people.
254
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,220
Think how many more you
could reach through TV.
255
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,220
I write for the legitimate theater.
256
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,639
But this is legitimate TV.
257
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:06,680
William, if you watched it more often,
I'm sure you'd change your mind about it.
258
00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:11,309
I mean, they do some really good
things. Shakespeare. William Shakespeare?
259
00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:17,950
Romeo and Juliet, King Lear,
Hamlet. They weren't by Sam Shakespeare.
260
00:17:19,569 --> 00:17:20,700
Well, perhaps you're right.
261
00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:24,259
But remember, not one scene
can be changed. Not one speech,
262
00:17:24,259 --> 00:17:25,980
not one comma can be left out.
263
00:17:34,849 --> 00:17:38,569
Tompkins, you can't. William insists
that nothing be cut out of the play.
264
00:17:38,789 --> 00:17:44,569
Greta, how can we do a two-hour play in
half an hour without cutting something out?
265
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:48,200
Half an hour? I thought it
was going to be a spectacular,
266
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,799
or I never would have let
William sign the contract.
267
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:52,859
Well, I'm afraid it's only half an hour.
268
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:58,690
Mr. Tompkins, do you realize William
poured his life's blood into these pages?
269
00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:02,380
Take them down to the blood
bank. Maybe they can use them.
270
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:03,579
I'll let you do it.
271
00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:04,640
Now, Greta.
272
00:18:06,369 --> 00:18:09,349
I'm afraid it's out of your
hands. Now, I have bought the play.
273
00:18:09,690 --> 00:18:12,470
The sponsors okayed it. I've
ordered scenery to be built.
274
00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:13,789
But what will I tell William?
275
00:18:14,309 --> 00:18:16,690
He'll know something's wrong
when he comes to rehearsal.
276
00:18:16,710 --> 00:18:17,670
Tell him anything.
277
00:18:18,069 --> 00:18:19,559
Tell him we're not doing it for months.
278
00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:22,720
Well, he never reads the papers.
279
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:24,900
Maybe he won't know when it's on.
280
00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:27,470
It's next Thursday, isn't it?
281
00:18:27,509 --> 00:18:27,869
Mm-hmm.
282
00:18:29,589 --> 00:18:30,190
Okay.
283
00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:38,279
Yes, Mr. Tompkins?
284
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,359
Phil, can we get ahold of a steam shovel?
285
00:18:42,049 --> 00:18:44,369
Of course. No problem at all.
286
00:18:44,809 --> 00:18:45,690
Don't be too sure.
287
00:18:46,349 --> 00:18:48,319
This one has to whistle Annie Laurie.
288
00:18:55,829 --> 00:19:00,220
In one minute, we will be back for
the second act of Time is a River.
289
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:04,950
But first, we want you to look at a
few telltale diagrams from our sponsor.
290
00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:08,029
Boy, it's a good thing William isn't here.
291
00:19:08,349 --> 00:19:10,990
I can just see our television
set flying through the window,
292
00:19:10,990 --> 00:19:13,630
with us passing it on its
way down to the street.
293
00:19:14,309 --> 00:19:18,150
And William not far behind us.
By heavens, he's home working.
294
00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:20,160
He is, isn't he?
295
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:25,480
Well, I called him before the show. He
started work on a new play. Oh, yeah,
296
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:29,240
he was telling me about it yesterday.
It's about an elephant that loses its memory.
297
00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:35,589
And now, act two of the
most unusual Time is a River.
298
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,220
That must be Jesse with the evening paper.
299
00:19:43,029 --> 00:19:46,769
They are coming from the
hills, the thinkers and the doers.
300
00:19:47,609 --> 00:19:49,789
Just put the paper there, Jesse.
301
00:19:49,930 --> 00:19:55,220
The thinkers who think without doing,
and the doers who do without thinking.
302
00:19:55,519 --> 00:19:56,160
Sounds like...
303
00:20:00,579 --> 00:20:03,400
Hello, William. That was
my play. Hello, William.
304
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:05,759
Why did you turn it off? That was my play.
305
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:11,880
Oh, no, it was the... I'm
sure I recognize those lines.
306
00:20:12,259 --> 00:20:14,019
I'm turning it on again.
307
00:20:14,299 --> 00:20:18,490
You're a guest. You relax. I'll turn it
in again, and you'll see you're wrong.
308
00:20:19,789 --> 00:20:21,950
And now we are ready to make meatballs.
309
00:20:22,269 --> 00:20:24,190
Doesn't sound like your place.
310
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:25,569
She switched stations.
311
00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:28,779
Oh, I'm sorry. Greta,
you get it. Me? Okay.
312
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,700
You turned the wrong knob.
313
00:20:39,549 --> 00:20:40,869
I'll do it. No.
314
00:20:41,710 --> 00:20:43,049
You make William comfortable.
315
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,420
I don't want to be made comfortable.
316
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:48,240
Oh, now, now, William,
there's really no need for
317
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,990
you to carry on this
way. No reason at all.
318
00:20:55,150 --> 00:20:59,430
There's something wrong with the
set. Now I can't get anything.
319
00:20:59,869 --> 00:21:01,500
It worked fine a minute ago.
320
00:21:01,519 --> 00:21:04,380
Well, that was before
something went wrong with it.
321
00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:06,039
This is all very odd.
322
00:21:06,779 --> 00:21:08,700
Oh, well, now, William, don't be silly.
323
00:21:09,029 --> 00:21:11,150
Why wouldn't we want
you to see your own play?
324
00:21:12,549 --> 00:21:13,650
Yes, why?
325
00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:16,950
Maybe I am just imagining things.
326
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:18,730
Oh, I'm that way all the time.
327
00:21:21,089 --> 00:21:23,339
Oh, William, be a
darling and answer the door.
328
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:27,640
It's probably Jesse with
the evening paper. Hi.
329
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:33,369
Hey, why aren't you watching your play?
330
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:40,109
What are you talking about? It
only sounds like William's play.
331
00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:41,450
It's how to make a salad.
332
00:21:41,529 --> 00:21:42,690
Now cut it out, girls.
333
00:21:42,730 --> 00:21:43,990
They are doing my play.
334
00:21:44,009 --> 00:21:46,569
Oh, it's no use, William.
The set's on the blink.
335
00:21:46,970 --> 00:21:48,549
Oh, I can fix that for you in a minute.
336
00:21:49,210 --> 00:21:52,559
All right, William, you just
relax. Jesse, good old Jesse,
337
00:21:52,559 --> 00:21:54,170
will have it working in a jiffy.
338
00:21:59,089 --> 00:22:00,269
You mean you don't want?
339
00:22:00,349 --> 00:22:03,980
Honestly, you're as bad as I
am. Okay, don't worry. I dig.
340
00:22:04,859 --> 00:22:08,900
Uh-oh. This is much more
serious than I thought.
341
00:22:09,299 --> 00:22:11,269
What's wrong with it?
What's wrong with it?
342
00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:14,450
It won't work. That's what's
wrong with it. I'll see my play.
343
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:16,029
I'll make it work.
344
00:22:16,809 --> 00:22:18,109
Now, about your play.
345
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,880
It's about the French Revolution,
ain't it? The French Revolution?
346
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,819
The Russian
Revolution. Now, just a minute.
347
00:22:24,839 --> 00:22:25,980
Oh, the American Revolution?
348
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,779
Certainly not. My play is about life.
349
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:30,819
Oh, well, then I must
have had it mixed up.
350
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,180
Jesse gets everything
mixed up, don't you, Jesse?
351
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:36,150
Yeah, everything. Sorry, real sorry.
352
00:22:36,450 --> 00:22:39,450
I just wanted to tell
you, I was watching you
353
00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:41,549
play on television, and... Oh, come on.
354
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:48,740
No wonder.
355
00:22:49,380 --> 00:22:50,630
It's not plugged in.
356
00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:53,529
I guess my foot must have
gotten caught in the wire.
357
00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:54,150
Your foot.
358
00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:57,470
Well, we always get to hit our fingers.
359
00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:00,950
And that was Time is a
River by William Paxton.
360
00:23:01,410 --> 00:23:03,769
Now be sure to join us
next week when we...
361
00:23:03,769 --> 00:23:06,599
Why didn't you tell me it
was going to be on tonight?
362
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,900
Well, we didn't know, William. We
thought it was going to be on...
363
00:23:13,660 --> 00:23:16,869
Hello? Oh, hello, Mr. Tompkins.
364
00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:19,710
Yes, we saw it.
365
00:23:21,099 --> 00:23:21,410
What?
366
00:23:22,839 --> 00:23:24,019
Oh, that's wonderful! What?
367
00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:29,319
Oh, I don't think he'd
be interested in that.
368
00:23:30,140 --> 00:23:30,460
No.
369
00:23:31,220 --> 00:23:33,799
Well, thank you very much for
calling anyway, Mr. Tompkins.
370
00:23:34,539 --> 00:23:34,900
Bye.
371
00:23:36,789 --> 00:23:39,109
There was a Hollywood
producer at the show,
372
00:23:39,109 --> 00:23:42,880
and when my boss said Williams'
play was too high class for Hollywood,
373
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,799
he got mad and offered $20,000 for
the screen rights. Congratulations!
374
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:49,960
Oh, uh, Greta, what was that you
didn't think I'd be interested in?
375
00:23:50,869 --> 00:23:54,670
Oh, they wanted you to go all the way
to Hollywood to write the screenplay.
376
00:23:55,619 --> 00:23:56,779
Of course, I'm going.
377
00:23:58,289 --> 00:24:02,140
My artistic reputation, my
integrity demands that I protect my play.
378
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,339
It must be done exactly the
way it was done on television.
379
00:24:06,420 --> 00:24:08,119
Loco, it's been wonderful.
380
00:24:08,660 --> 00:24:09,910
I'll see you all when I get back.
381
00:24:10,470 --> 00:24:12,990
William, I... Hollywood?
382
00:24:15,849 --> 00:24:18,170
Greta, why didn't you want
William to go to Hollywood?
383
00:24:19,329 --> 00:24:23,150
Well, this same producer bought a
property from our studio last year,
384
00:24:23,150 --> 00:24:26,440
and you might have seen
the picture. What picture?
385
00:24:27,940 --> 00:24:31,289
I was a teenage Sioux City ballerina. Oh!
386
00:24:39,950 --> 00:24:43,150
Gosh, William's been gone for three
weeks now and not a word from him.
387
00:24:44,069 --> 00:24:46,890
Poor guy. Hollywood must have
broken him completely. Well,
388
00:24:46,890 --> 00:24:49,420
$20,000 can buy an awful lot of splints.
389
00:24:50,319 --> 00:24:52,359
I still think he could
have written to Loco.
390
00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:57,269
She's been watching for the mailman every
day, and you know how... What is it, Loco?
391
00:24:57,650 --> 00:24:59,250
A picture of William. Look.
392
00:25:01,910 --> 00:25:08,269
William Paxton, author of the forthcoming
musical farce, A Hot Time on the River,
393
00:25:08,269 --> 00:25:11,450
seen here with his
fiancée, Debbie Farnsworth,
394
00:25:11,450 --> 00:25:14,180
aboard his new speedboat, The Integrity.30846
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