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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,830 --> 00:00:04,929 College graduation. 2 00:00:05,509 --> 00:00:09,460 Thousands of young men and women sharing among them all the knowledge of the ages. 3 00:00:10,060 --> 00:00:13,859 How to write anti-disestablishmentarianism in Babylonian cuneiform. 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,660 How to catapult a pup into orbit. 5 00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:18,359 How to stop dandruff. 6 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,239 There's one thing they don't teach them in college. 7 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:22,219 And what is that? 8 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,489 How to marry a millionaire. 9 00:01:08,099 --> 00:01:10,950 Well, Mike, it's 8 o'clock. Shouldn't Loco be home by now? 10 00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:12,549 Well, let's see. 11 00:01:13,329 --> 00:01:16,469 She leaves her studio at 6, walks to the subway 615. 12 00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:19,599 There she discovers she forgot her book, walks back to the studio. 13 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:19,819 That's 630. 14 00:01:21,079 --> 00:01:23,439 Can't find the book because she left it at home. 15 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,159 Walks back to the subway that 7.15. 16 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:27,909 She takes the wrong train, 17 00:01:27,909 --> 00:01:33,109 so right now she should be about two stations from Flatbush. Uh-oh. 18 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,230 You just can't depend upon that kid. 19 00:01:44,019 --> 00:01:44,900 This is where we live. 20 00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:51,269 Girls, I'd like you to meet William Paxton, the well-known playwright. 21 00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:54,650 These are my roommates, Mike and Greta. Hello. 22 00:01:54,709 --> 00:01:55,269 How do you do? 23 00:01:56,079 --> 00:01:56,780 Won't you come in? 24 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:58,760 Yes, please do. Thank you. 25 00:02:01,359 --> 00:02:05,099 Well-known playwright? Maybe, but I'm afraid not at the bank. 26 00:02:06,989 --> 00:02:07,870 Sit down, William. 27 00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:15,849 Would you care for something to eat? 28 00:02:16,139 --> 00:02:18,620 Oh, thank you, but words are my staff of life. 29 00:02:20,319 --> 00:02:22,740 Yes, words sustain me. Words nourish me. 30 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,800 Well, how about washing them down with a little fruit? 31 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:31,949 Oh, well, I suppose social custom requires that the amenities be observed. 32 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,150 I think that means pass the fruit. Oh. 33 00:02:43,689 --> 00:02:47,539 So you write plays, Mr. Paxton. Should we have seen any of them? 34 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:52,139 You should have seen them all, to really enjoy a new experience in the theater. 35 00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,030 Unfortunately, none of them have ever been produced. 36 00:02:56,240 --> 00:03:00,740 Well, what sort of plays do you write? Comedies, tragedies, mysteries? 37 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,099 That drivel? 38 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,669 My plays are for the intellect. 39 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:09,530 The intellect that searches deep within itself and asks why. 40 00:03:11,370 --> 00:03:12,129 Why what? 41 00:03:12,789 --> 00:03:15,949 Exactly. Why what? Those are the key words. 42 00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:18,169 Say, you girls have perception. 43 00:03:19,090 --> 00:03:21,680 Just listen to this scene from my new play, Time is a River. 44 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:25,439 Dynamo speaks. 45 00:03:27,810 --> 00:03:28,449 Dynamo? 46 00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:30,389 It's an allegorical play. 47 00:03:31,150 --> 00:03:33,189 Dynamo is the spirit of electricity. 48 00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:34,719 Dynamo. 49 00:03:36,060 --> 00:03:36,620 It is gone. 50 00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:38,680 Gone it is. It is gone. 51 00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:41,080 Gone it is. 52 00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:44,169 That's the way dynamo speaks? 53 00:03:44,969 --> 00:03:45,949 Alternating current. 54 00:03:47,969 --> 00:03:51,289 Carburetor speaks, the spirit of the machine. 55 00:03:53,599 --> 00:03:58,389 Gone, gone, gone. 56 00:04:00,169 --> 00:04:01,210 Sounds real gone. 57 00:04:03,650 --> 00:04:04,349 Charlie? 58 00:04:04,969 --> 00:04:05,879 Who's Charlie? 59 00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:07,639 Charlie is man. 60 00:04:08,259 --> 00:04:11,490 Grasping, greedy, ever clinging to that which is his, 61 00:04:11,490 --> 00:04:14,000 and ever desperate to possess even more. 62 00:04:15,430 --> 00:04:17,089 Sounds just like our landlord. 63 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:19,529 Charlie speaks. 64 00:04:20,709 --> 00:04:24,790 Yes, the bluebird is gone, and I saw it go. 65 00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:28,660 A streak of blue against the gray slate of the morning sky. 66 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,639 Oh, that's beautiful, William. 67 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:33,579 Let's hear some more. 68 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,040 Well, that's where I'm stuck. I just can't seem to finish this scene. 69 00:04:38,009 --> 00:04:39,709 I'm sure you'll get it, William. 70 00:04:39,750 --> 00:04:44,310 A fine writer like you should have no... Oh, darn. 71 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:46,819 They must be fixing those hot water pipes again. 72 00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:48,899 Well, I'll go tell him to stop. 73 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,899 No, no, wait. Don't you hear it? Don't you understand what it means? 74 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,240 No hot water tonight. 75 00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:57,829 No! That beat, that rhythm, that's it. 76 00:04:58,410 --> 00:05:01,879 Life pounding at man's brain. Our tortured existence. 77 00:05:03,759 --> 00:05:04,420 Over here, William. 78 00:05:04,439 --> 00:05:04,819 Oh, thanks. 79 00:05:14,129 --> 00:05:15,629 An uncomfortable way to work? 80 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:18,269 What is comfort? 81 00:05:19,009 --> 00:05:25,370 Comfort is inertia. Inertia is laziness. Laziness is waste. Waste is discomfort. 82 00:05:25,610 --> 00:05:27,350 Hence, comfort is discomfort. 83 00:05:28,069 --> 00:05:28,589 You follow me? 84 00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:30,170 Sort of. 85 00:05:32,689 --> 00:05:35,170 But if I ever find my way back, I'll never make the trip again. 86 00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:45,019 Gosh, he's typing like mad. He's done ten pages already. 87 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,579 Loco, do you really understand this play? Well, 88 00:05:48,579 --> 00:05:52,000 there's this dynamo and the blue bird that flew away 89 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,170 with Charlie's carburetor. No, neither do I. 90 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,449 Machines talking like people. 91 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:01,689 Well, if they talk like machines, you'd never understand them. Besides, 92 00:06:01,689 --> 00:06:03,870 he said it was an allegorical play. Oh. 93 00:06:05,769 --> 00:06:06,449 What does that mean? 94 00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:10,230 Well, it means you have to guess what it means. 95 00:06:10,810 --> 00:06:11,870 Maybe that's it. 96 00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:14,930 But on the other hand, who are we to judge William's work? 97 00:06:14,970 --> 00:06:16,769 We know nothing about the drama. Why, 98 00:06:16,769 --> 00:06:20,120 there may be a gold mine in a fellow like William. Yeah. 99 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,660 With these highbrow things, you never can tell. 100 00:06:24,379 --> 00:06:27,730 Remember that painting at the Museum of Art? Everybody was raving about it, 101 00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:29,879 and then they found out it was hung upside down. 102 00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:33,230 Hey, maybe they ought to do William's play backwards. 103 00:06:34,689 --> 00:06:39,050 Look, even the critics disagree. Who knows? Certainly not the producers. 104 00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:43,279 Why, I heard that Eugene O'Neill's first play was turned down about 20 times. 105 00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:47,560 Well, William hasn't had quite that many refusals, but he's working on it. 106 00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:52,819 Oh, hello, William. Come on in. 107 00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,610 It's finished. I'm finished. 108 00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:59,990 How wonderful. Girls, William finished the play. 109 00:07:00,069 --> 00:07:01,389 Just listen to this finish. 110 00:07:02,329 --> 00:07:04,769 Yes, the bluebird is gone. 111 00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:08,310 A streak of blue against the gray slate of the morning sky. 112 00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:12,259 Yet behold, here is the bluebird. 113 00:07:13,339 --> 00:07:13,939 Gosh. 114 00:07:15,129 --> 00:07:17,189 It's very impressive. 115 00:07:18,069 --> 00:07:20,610 Yes, now let me see if I can figure out what it means. 116 00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:25,779 Oh, simple. The bluebird is hope. Hope forever renewing itself. Hope eternal. 117 00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:30,889 You know, it is kind of beautiful. If you keep explaining it. Well, 118 00:07:30,889 --> 00:07:32,089 it certainly is different. 119 00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:33,629 What's the next step? 120 00:07:34,290 --> 00:07:37,509 Money. At best, only a material satisfaction. 121 00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:38,569 Sure. 122 00:07:39,189 --> 00:07:42,800 But where do we dig up a few yards of that material? 123 00:07:42,899 --> 00:07:44,500 I wish we could help you out, William, but... 124 00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:50,319 Say, why don't we set up an audition for backers? From what I hear, 125 00:07:50,319 --> 00:07:52,399 that's how all the producers raise money. Sure, 126 00:07:52,399 --> 00:07:55,379 we can invite all our rich friends and have coffee. Hold it, Loco. 127 00:07:56,079 --> 00:07:58,740 We don't even have rich enemies. Wait a minute. 128 00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:01,490 Loco, forget our friends. 129 00:08:02,089 --> 00:08:04,850 Why can't you ask your boss down at the modeling agency? 130 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:08,720 Then he can pass the word along to some of those wealthy clothing manufacturers. 131 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:13,470 And I could ask my boss. A big television producer should know all the sponsors. 132 00:08:13,629 --> 00:08:16,240 And then I'll see what I can do down at the brokerage office. Oh, 133 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,600 I think it's a wonderful idea. William, how about you? 134 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,060 Do you know any important people? 135 00:08:21,779 --> 00:08:22,879 Just Baron Andati. 136 00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:29,399 A baron? What can we count on him for? His tuxedo. 137 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,139 He's the head waiter at the 3rd Avenue Hofbrun. 138 00:08:43,049 --> 00:08:46,879 Oh, come in. Good evening. Is this where they're having the audition? 139 00:08:47,399 --> 00:08:49,940 Oh, yes, yes. Won't you sit down? Thank you. 140 00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,480 It looks like we're going to have a full house. Yes, 141 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:58,750 I only hope they understand what William is trying to say. It's pretty simple. 142 00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:00,720 He's trying to say, put up money. 143 00:09:01,899 --> 00:09:04,679 Gosh, isn't it wonderful? All these people here. 144 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:08,809 Do you think they'll like the play? I sure hope so. 145 00:09:09,529 --> 00:09:13,149 Well, if there's any doubt, I think we can make them think they think it's good. 146 00:09:13,710 --> 00:09:16,009 Gosh, Mike, you talk just like William Wright. 147 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,750 I mean, it wouldn't hurt to scatter ourselves 148 00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,779 through the crowd and applaud like crazy. 149 00:09:21,799 --> 00:09:24,649 Wouldn't that look kind of obvious? They know who we are. 150 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:29,269 Well, who else can we get? Hey, wait a minute. 151 00:09:29,850 --> 00:09:33,909 I just got a brainstorm. If I'm not back in five minutes, you wait for me. 152 00:09:55,169 --> 00:09:56,620 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 153 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:03,779 Thank you very much. 154 00:10:04,659 --> 00:10:06,679 Please, save your applause for the show. 155 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:08,870 Now, before we get started, 156 00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:12,360 we'd like to call your attention to the pledge sheets given you at the door. 157 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,059 These are for your convenience in designating 158 00:10:15,059 --> 00:10:17,450 how much you'd like to invest in the play. 159 00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:21,649 We feel it's an outstanding work, and we hope you'll want to be part of it. 160 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,580 And now for the play. 161 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,320 Ladies and gentlemen, the author, William Paxton. 162 00:10:36,529 --> 00:10:36,870 Thank you. 163 00:10:40,690 --> 00:10:42,289 Act one, scene one. 164 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,809 The time, another time. 165 00:10:46,669 --> 00:10:50,500 The characters, a combination of people and things. 166 00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:53,340 You might call them thing people. 167 00:10:54,659 --> 00:10:57,100 The place, out there. 168 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,139 Out there. 169 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:14,200 And now, as the shadows deepen around the rusty, disabled machines, Charlie enters, 170 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:19,690 gazes at them thoughtfully and repeats, Yes, the bluebird is gone. 171 00:11:20,149 --> 00:11:23,360 A streak of blue against the gray slate of the morning sky. 172 00:11:24,519 --> 00:11:27,620 Yet behold, here is the bluebird. 173 00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:40,029 And the curtain slowly descends. 174 00:11:42,289 --> 00:11:48,330 Well, we did the best we could. I know. Thanks for coming, Jesse. 175 00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:50,909 You too, Sophie. 176 00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:52,370 Mr. Quimby. 177 00:11:54,519 --> 00:11:55,519 Here are the pledge sheets. 178 00:11:56,039 --> 00:11:58,299 I guess we can save them till the next audition. 179 00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,820 My hopes, my dreams. 180 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,299 Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. 181 00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:12,019 What's this? $25,000? $10,000? We did it. 182 00:12:12,039 --> 00:12:15,120 We're in. I'll just go and change my clothes, and then we'll go out and celebrate. 183 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,509 Gosh, and we thought that he... Wait a minute, locals. 184 00:12:27,049 --> 00:12:28,470 Look at these pledge sheets. 185 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:35,230 Jesse Flug, our elevator operator. Sophie Hornbussel, the chambermaid. 186 00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:37,570 And John Quimby, the handyman. 187 00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:43,720 That wasn't that sweet. Moco, they haven't got any money. I know, 188 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:50,730 but it's the thought that counts. What about this one? $10,000, J.P. 189 00:12:50,809 --> 00:12:54,289 Abercrombie. Which one was he? I don't know. I didn't invite him. 190 00:12:54,309 --> 00:12:56,669 Neither did I. 191 00:12:57,639 --> 00:12:59,779 Well, what's the difference? Who invited him? 192 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,100 I always say if a person appreciates something and really believes in it... Loco, 193 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,480 what are you talking about? 194 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:09,950 I'm J.P. Abercrombie. 195 00:13:19,629 --> 00:13:23,960 But Mr. Templeton, you can't condemn a play on just one incomplete hearing. 196 00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:26,000 Where's your sense of fairness? 197 00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:27,879 Oh. 198 00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:32,679 What'd he say? Yeah, about his sense of fairness. 199 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,620 He said it couldn't compete with his sense of smell. 200 00:13:35,639 --> 00:13:42,789 Well, I'm gonna try just one more person. It's pretty discouraging. It certainly is. 201 00:13:44,350 --> 00:13:45,649 Hello, Mr. Thorndyke? 202 00:13:46,529 --> 00:13:49,909 This is Mike McCall. About the play last night. 203 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,799 But Mr. Thorndyke, you only stayed for one act. 204 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:56,379 I see. 205 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,419 He figured the same fella wrote the other two acts. 206 00:14:02,110 --> 00:14:03,210 Looks like it's unanimous. 207 00:14:04,389 --> 00:14:05,490 I just knew it wouldn't work. 208 00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:07,889 We should have told William the truth about those 209 00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:10,330 pledges last night. Oh, but how could we, Mike? 210 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,740 He was so happy. He took us all out to celebrate. Yeah, 211 00:14:14,740 --> 00:14:19,600 and the entrance he made into the automat, like Diamond Jim Brady. 212 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,470 What are we going to do? Unless you can think of someone else to call. Greta, 213 00:14:24,470 --> 00:14:28,210 what about your boss? He never did show up at the audition. 214 00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:30,389 Oh, he doesn't have that kind of money anyway. 215 00:14:32,169 --> 00:14:32,809 Wait a minute. 216 00:14:33,549 --> 00:14:36,350 Maybe I can get him to do the play on television. 217 00:14:36,929 --> 00:14:38,330 Gosh, that would be wonderful. 218 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,379 Well, let's hope he likes it, and I'll know soon enough. 219 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:51,019 When he doesn't like something, he starts tearing up a little bit. 220 00:14:52,570 --> 00:14:54,990 Now, Greta, I know the play is different. 221 00:14:55,490 --> 00:14:56,269 It's too different. 222 00:14:57,139 --> 00:14:59,220 You mean too artistic for your taste. 223 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,830 Now, Greta, you know I'm as artistic as the next fellow. 224 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,789 Well, then perhaps you didn't understand the play. 225 00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:06,730 Of course I understood it. 226 00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:09,870 Then it must be too high class for you. 227 00:15:11,029 --> 00:15:11,779 Too high class? 228 00:15:13,149 --> 00:15:16,019 Didn't I put on the Sioux City Ballet last year? 229 00:15:16,799 --> 00:15:18,879 So you don't think I can do anything arty? 230 00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:19,649 Well. 231 00:15:21,809 --> 00:15:24,470 I'll talk to Mr. Shelverson, the executive producer. 232 00:15:25,669 --> 00:15:29,399 Unless the play is too artistic for your taste. Now, Tompkins, 233 00:15:29,399 --> 00:15:32,470 you know I'm as artistic as the next fellow. All right, 234 00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:35,320 maybe you didn't understand the play. Of course I understand. 235 00:15:35,659 --> 00:15:37,919 Well, it must be just too high class for you, then. 236 00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:40,470 Too high class? 237 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:46,700 Didn't I put on the Sioux City Ballet last year? To think of it, that was your baby. 238 00:15:47,559 --> 00:15:53,450 Just in case you still think I'm a lowbrow, well... I'll talk to the sponsor. 239 00:15:54,629 --> 00:15:56,590 Did I sponsor the Sioux City Ballet last year? 240 00:15:57,230 --> 00:15:57,929 Sponsor? 241 00:15:58,529 --> 00:15:59,610 It was all your idea. 242 00:16:00,809 --> 00:16:07,269 Well, I like fine art as well as the next fellow, so... I'll talk to my wife. 243 00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:12,820 They're going to put it on television. I knew it was a good play. 244 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,139 Those people we invited were just a bunch of lowbrows. 245 00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,080 That's why the play went over their heads. 246 00:16:20,629 --> 00:16:24,909 Oh, hi, William. Come on in. Oh, William, have we got good news for you. 247 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,759 Come right in here and sit down. 248 00:16:26,779 --> 00:16:27,139 Right here? 249 00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:32,480 Yes. Now, William, my boss wants to put your play on television. 250 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,259 Television? But what about our investors? 251 00:16:36,850 --> 00:16:41,320 Well, William, those pledges were signed by a broken-down elevator operator, 252 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:47,120 a handyman, a chambermaid, and a Girl Scout with a hole in her head. I see. 253 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,940 Well, at least I've reached the common people. 254 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,220 Think how many more you could reach through TV. 255 00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,220 I write for the legitimate theater. 256 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,639 But this is legitimate TV. 257 00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:06,680 William, if you watched it more often, I'm sure you'd change your mind about it. 258 00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:11,309 I mean, they do some really good things. Shakespeare. William Shakespeare? 259 00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:17,950 Romeo and Juliet, King Lear, Hamlet. They weren't by Sam Shakespeare. 260 00:17:19,569 --> 00:17:20,700 Well, perhaps you're right. 261 00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:24,259 But remember, not one scene can be changed. Not one speech, 262 00:17:24,259 --> 00:17:25,980 not one comma can be left out. 263 00:17:34,849 --> 00:17:38,569 Tompkins, you can't. William insists that nothing be cut out of the play. 264 00:17:38,789 --> 00:17:44,569 Greta, how can we do a two-hour play in half an hour without cutting something out? 265 00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:48,200 Half an hour? I thought it was going to be a spectacular, 266 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,799 or I never would have let William sign the contract. 267 00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:52,859 Well, I'm afraid it's only half an hour. 268 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:58,690 Mr. Tompkins, do you realize William poured his life's blood into these pages? 269 00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:02,380 Take them down to the blood bank. Maybe they can use them. 270 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:03,579 I'll let you do it. 271 00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:04,640 Now, Greta. 272 00:18:06,369 --> 00:18:09,349 I'm afraid it's out of your hands. Now, I have bought the play. 273 00:18:09,690 --> 00:18:12,470 The sponsors okayed it. I've ordered scenery to be built. 274 00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:13,789 But what will I tell William? 275 00:18:14,309 --> 00:18:16,690 He'll know something's wrong when he comes to rehearsal. 276 00:18:16,710 --> 00:18:17,670 Tell him anything. 277 00:18:18,069 --> 00:18:19,559 Tell him we're not doing it for months. 278 00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:22,720 Well, he never reads the papers. 279 00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:24,900 Maybe he won't know when it's on. 280 00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:27,470 It's next Thursday, isn't it? 281 00:18:27,509 --> 00:18:27,869 Mm-hmm. 282 00:18:29,589 --> 00:18:30,190 Okay. 283 00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:38,279 Yes, Mr. Tompkins? 284 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:41,359 Phil, can we get ahold of a steam shovel? 285 00:18:42,049 --> 00:18:44,369 Of course. No problem at all. 286 00:18:44,809 --> 00:18:45,690 Don't be too sure. 287 00:18:46,349 --> 00:18:48,319 This one has to whistle Annie Laurie. 288 00:18:55,829 --> 00:19:00,220 In one minute, we will be back for the second act of Time is a River. 289 00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:04,950 But first, we want you to look at a few telltale diagrams from our sponsor. 290 00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:08,029 Boy, it's a good thing William isn't here. 291 00:19:08,349 --> 00:19:10,990 I can just see our television set flying through the window, 292 00:19:10,990 --> 00:19:13,630 with us passing it on its way down to the street. 293 00:19:14,309 --> 00:19:18,150 And William not far behind us. By heavens, he's home working. 294 00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:20,160 He is, isn't he? 295 00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:25,480 Well, I called him before the show. He started work on a new play. Oh, yeah, 296 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:29,240 he was telling me about it yesterday. It's about an elephant that loses its memory. 297 00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:35,589 And now, act two of the most unusual Time is a River. 298 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,220 That must be Jesse with the evening paper. 299 00:19:43,029 --> 00:19:46,769 They are coming from the hills, the thinkers and the doers. 300 00:19:47,609 --> 00:19:49,789 Just put the paper there, Jesse. 301 00:19:49,930 --> 00:19:55,220 The thinkers who think without doing, and the doers who do without thinking. 302 00:19:55,519 --> 00:19:56,160 Sounds like... 303 00:20:00,579 --> 00:20:03,400 Hello, William. That was my play. Hello, William. 304 00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:05,759 Why did you turn it off? That was my play. 305 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:11,880 Oh, no, it was the... I'm sure I recognize those lines. 306 00:20:12,259 --> 00:20:14,019 I'm turning it on again. 307 00:20:14,299 --> 00:20:18,490 You're a guest. You relax. I'll turn it in again, and you'll see you're wrong. 308 00:20:19,789 --> 00:20:21,950 And now we are ready to make meatballs. 309 00:20:22,269 --> 00:20:24,190 Doesn't sound like your place. 310 00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:25,569 She switched stations. 311 00:20:26,130 --> 00:20:28,779 Oh, I'm sorry. Greta, you get it. Me? Okay. 312 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,700 You turned the wrong knob. 313 00:20:39,549 --> 00:20:40,869 I'll do it. No. 314 00:20:41,710 --> 00:20:43,049 You make William comfortable. 315 00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,420 I don't want to be made comfortable. 316 00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:48,240 Oh, now, now, William, there's really no need for 317 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,990 you to carry on this way. No reason at all. 318 00:20:55,150 --> 00:20:59,430 There's something wrong with the set. Now I can't get anything. 319 00:20:59,869 --> 00:21:01,500 It worked fine a minute ago. 320 00:21:01,519 --> 00:21:04,380 Well, that was before something went wrong with it. 321 00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:06,039 This is all very odd. 322 00:21:06,779 --> 00:21:08,700 Oh, well, now, William, don't be silly. 323 00:21:09,029 --> 00:21:11,150 Why wouldn't we want you to see your own play? 324 00:21:12,549 --> 00:21:13,650 Yes, why? 325 00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:16,950 Maybe I am just imagining things. 326 00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:18,730 Oh, I'm that way all the time. 327 00:21:21,089 --> 00:21:23,339 Oh, William, be a darling and answer the door. 328 00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:27,640 It's probably Jesse with the evening paper. Hi. 329 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:33,369 Hey, why aren't you watching your play? 330 00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:40,109 What are you talking about? It only sounds like William's play. 331 00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:41,450 It's how to make a salad. 332 00:21:41,529 --> 00:21:42,690 Now cut it out, girls. 333 00:21:42,730 --> 00:21:43,990 They are doing my play. 334 00:21:44,009 --> 00:21:46,569 Oh, it's no use, William. The set's on the blink. 335 00:21:46,970 --> 00:21:48,549 Oh, I can fix that for you in a minute. 336 00:21:49,210 --> 00:21:52,559 All right, William, you just relax. Jesse, good old Jesse, 337 00:21:52,559 --> 00:21:54,170 will have it working in a jiffy. 338 00:21:59,089 --> 00:22:00,269 You mean you don't want? 339 00:22:00,349 --> 00:22:03,980 Honestly, you're as bad as I am. Okay, don't worry. I dig. 340 00:22:04,859 --> 00:22:08,900 Uh-oh. This is much more serious than I thought. 341 00:22:09,299 --> 00:22:11,269 What's wrong with it? What's wrong with it? 342 00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:14,450 It won't work. That's what's wrong with it. I'll see my play. 343 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:16,029 I'll make it work. 344 00:22:16,809 --> 00:22:18,109 Now, about your play. 345 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,880 It's about the French Revolution, ain't it? The French Revolution? 346 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,819 The Russian Revolution. Now, just a minute. 347 00:22:24,839 --> 00:22:25,980 Oh, the American Revolution? 348 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,779 Certainly not. My play is about life. 349 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:30,819 Oh, well, then I must have had it mixed up. 350 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,180 Jesse gets everything mixed up, don't you, Jesse? 351 00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:36,150 Yeah, everything. Sorry, real sorry. 352 00:22:36,450 --> 00:22:39,450 I just wanted to tell you, I was watching you 353 00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:41,549 play on television, and... Oh, come on. 354 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:48,740 No wonder. 355 00:22:49,380 --> 00:22:50,630 It's not plugged in. 356 00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:53,529 I guess my foot must have gotten caught in the wire. 357 00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:54,150 Your foot. 358 00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:57,470 Well, we always get to hit our fingers. 359 00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:00,950 And that was Time is a River by William Paxton. 360 00:23:01,410 --> 00:23:03,769 Now be sure to join us next week when we... 361 00:23:03,769 --> 00:23:06,599 Why didn't you tell me it was going to be on tonight? 362 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,900 Well, we didn't know, William. We thought it was going to be on... 363 00:23:13,660 --> 00:23:16,869 Hello? Oh, hello, Mr. Tompkins. 364 00:23:18,309 --> 00:23:19,710 Yes, we saw it. 365 00:23:21,099 --> 00:23:21,410 What? 366 00:23:22,839 --> 00:23:24,019 Oh, that's wonderful! What? 367 00:23:27,180 --> 00:23:29,319 Oh, I don't think he'd be interested in that. 368 00:23:30,140 --> 00:23:30,460 No. 369 00:23:31,220 --> 00:23:33,799 Well, thank you very much for calling anyway, Mr. Tompkins. 370 00:23:34,539 --> 00:23:34,900 Bye. 371 00:23:36,789 --> 00:23:39,109 There was a Hollywood producer at the show, 372 00:23:39,109 --> 00:23:42,880 and when my boss said Williams' play was too high class for Hollywood, 373 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:46,799 he got mad and offered $20,000 for the screen rights. Congratulations! 374 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:49,960 Oh, uh, Greta, what was that you didn't think I'd be interested in? 375 00:23:50,869 --> 00:23:54,670 Oh, they wanted you to go all the way to Hollywood to write the screenplay. 376 00:23:55,619 --> 00:23:56,779 Of course, I'm going. 377 00:23:58,289 --> 00:24:02,140 My artistic reputation, my integrity demands that I protect my play. 378 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,339 It must be done exactly the way it was done on television. 379 00:24:06,420 --> 00:24:08,119 Loco, it's been wonderful. 380 00:24:08,660 --> 00:24:09,910 I'll see you all when I get back. 381 00:24:10,470 --> 00:24:12,990 William, I... Hollywood? 382 00:24:15,849 --> 00:24:18,170 Greta, why didn't you want William to go to Hollywood? 383 00:24:19,329 --> 00:24:23,150 Well, this same producer bought a property from our studio last year, 384 00:24:23,150 --> 00:24:26,440 and you might have seen the picture. What picture? 385 00:24:27,940 --> 00:24:31,289 I was a teenage Sioux City ballerina. Oh! 386 00:24:39,950 --> 00:24:43,150 Gosh, William's been gone for three weeks now and not a word from him. 387 00:24:44,069 --> 00:24:46,890 Poor guy. Hollywood must have broken him completely. Well, 388 00:24:46,890 --> 00:24:49,420 $20,000 can buy an awful lot of splints. 389 00:24:50,319 --> 00:24:52,359 I still think he could have written to Loco. 390 00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:57,269 She's been watching for the mailman every day, and you know how... What is it, Loco? 391 00:24:57,650 --> 00:24:59,250 A picture of William. Look. 392 00:25:01,910 --> 00:25:08,269 William Paxton, author of the forthcoming musical farce, A Hot Time on the River, 393 00:25:08,269 --> 00:25:11,450 seen here with his fiancée, Debbie Farnsworth, 394 00:25:11,450 --> 00:25:14,180 aboard his new speedboat, The Integrity.30846

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