Original subtitles

Hollywood, fabulous Hollywood, promised land of millions of young hopefuls,

working, striving, fighting their way along the road to fame and fortune.

I don't know about fame, but there's a nice shortcut to fortune.

And what is that, lady?

Marriott.

Here they are, girls.

I hope you like them.

I can hardly wait to see my costume. Local, I think yours is in the middle. Oh,

I hope they fit. Is this mine?

Yes, I think so. Gee, I was sure, sweetie, you'd bring them by, Sally.

But I could have picked them up at the studio in the morning. Sit down.

Thank you. Well, you know,

the wardrobe department is supplying all the costumes for the masquerade ball,

and I didn't want anybody grabbing yours. You're

a real pal, Sally. Hey, how about this?

Who am I supposed to be? Helen of Troy.

Wow, in a dress like that, it sure wasn't her face that launched a thousand ships.

Well, dig me.

Miss Sawed-Off Shotgun of 1922. My.

A ballerina tutu.

Ooh, I hope you can get that tutu over your hips-hip.

I'll get into it all right.

There'll still be an awful lot of you out of it.

Clothes may make the woman, but they should also show how the woman is made.

Gee, it's going to be quite an affair tomorrow night, isn't it? It sure is.

The 10th anniversary of our television network.

You know, I saw the guest list. They've invited all the big brass. Sponsors,

executives, everybody who's important.

That sure was a lucky break you're getting those invitations, Greta.

No luck at all.

I'm one of the most efficient girls at the network.

I have seniority over the other girls. My boss thinks very highly of me.

And I swiped them off his desk while he was out.

I guess you think we're pretty silly carrying on like this, Sally.

Oh, no.

I think it's wonderful to have something to carry on about.

Well, it isn't very often that we do go to big affairs like this. Boo!

Most nights we just sit home and watch television.

That's what I do every night.

Sit on the sofa and watch old movies with Oswald. Ooh, bet he's quite a smoocher.

No, Cocker Spaniel. I don't have a boyfriend.

Oh, you mean not at the moment. Why,

I bet there are lots of boys who'd like to take you out. Sure,

you could probably have dozens of fellas swooning at your feet.

I'd settle for one.

Standing up.

Say, why don't you stay and have dinner with us? Yes,

it'd be a good change for you. Yeah, we'll watch television. I'd better go.

Oh, you don't have to come to the door with me.

It was very nice of you to ask me, but... I'm really not very hungry.

I'd better go home. I hope you have a wonderful time at the Baldwin.

Goodbye.

Poor kid.

She sure has an inferiority complex.

Well, she does kind of have a right to it.

Say, maybe we could take her with us to the ball tomorrow night. Greta,

that would be wonderful for her morale.

Do you think you can wangle another invitation? Oh,

I'm not so sure I could wangle one.

But I'm positive I can swipe one. For once in her life, she'd have a good time.

Lots of gay people, men asking her to dance.

Oh, but will they?

Oh, well, tomorrow night she'll be wearing a mask.

Now, Sally, I don't want to hear any more excuses.

You're going with us to the ball tonight.

Well, I'd like to, Greta, but a big affair like that, all those important people...

What would I be doing there?

Same thing we'll be doing.

Drinking stale punch, making silly conversation,

getting yourself pushed around on the dance floor, Enjoying yourself.

If you really think it'll be all right. Of course it will.

Now, you pick yourself out a nice costume,

and you can come over to our place and go with us.

Oh, here are some pearls I found. I thought they'd

go well with your costume. Gee, thanks, Sally.

Oh, excuse me. Where could I try on this costume?

Oh, the dressing room's right in there, Mr. Sherwin.

Thank you.

Mr. Sherwin?

That name seems to ring a bell.

Father is the sponsor of that new quiz show.

Well, I sure do like the looks of that sponsor's product.

It should be easy for you to meet him,

now that you know that he'll be wearing a cowboy's outfit tonight.

You're right, partner.

Oh, pardon me, but we need all these cowboy costumes

for a western that's going on this afternoon. Oh!

Sorry.

Hide these for me, will you? I don't want to go through

a whole posse to find Mr. Sherwin tonight.

I understand. See you later.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I hope I didn't startle you in this costume.

Well, as long as it's a costume, fine. For a moment there,

I thought I was really in trouble.

Tell me.

Tell me honestly, how do I look in this silly outfit?

Well, tell me honestly.

Are you a network executive?

Oh, no.

Then you look like a network executive.

Oh, no.

Nothing as glamorous as that. I'm in the meat business.

You mean you're a... Just a butcher.

Oh...

I usually don't go into these big affairs, but,

well, somebody gave me a ticket, and here I am.

Well, I'm sure you'll have a very nice time.

I don't know.

I'm going alone, and I won't know many people there, so... Oh,

you talk just like my friends.

Say, I have a hunch you're going to have a better time than you think.

Oh, are you married?

Wish I were.

See you at the ball. Pa?

Hi, Bob. Say, did you see any more of these cowboy outfits around?

This one's a little small.

Don't bother looking. They've been collecting all

of them for a television show this afternoon.

Well, I guess I can find something else.

Hello, Mike.

Yes, everything's all set. Sally's going with us.

Oh, and I think I have a guy for her.

On the level.

And we can't miss him at the ball because he'll be wearing a devil's costume.

Oh, incidentally, I have my eye on somebody for myself.

The son of one of our sponsors. And he'll be in a cowboy outfit.

I ought to have some fun in this.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome, Napoleon.

How about a little stroll out on the terrace?

Well, I'd be charmed, Napoleon.

Not tonight, Josephine.

Any luck, Loco? No, he was married. Oh, I know what you mean. So far,

I've danced with two vice presidents, an account executive, and a sponsor.

Do you know not a single one was single?

Well, maybe bachelors don't dance.

They'd probably just sit around and save themselves for the intermissions.

They've got to be here somewhere.

Have you seen any sign of Greta's cowboy yet?

Without my glasses, I can't even see you.

Come on, local, I'll give you a blow-by-blow description.

No sign of your cowboy yet?

He's awful late.

Well, he's probably coming on horseback.

I haven't seen that fellow in the devil's costume either.

Poor Sally. Where is she?

Having herself a real ball.

Hi, Sally. Had any dances?

You mean you've just been sitting here all evening?

Oh, no.

I was sitting over there for a while. Oh, honey,

nobody's gonna ask you to dance if you just sit

here working your way into the wallpaper.

Please, girls, don't worry about me.

Really, I'm having a wonderful time just being here.

And if you happen to see a man in a devil's costume, just walk up to him and...

Follow me. Would you care to dance?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm waiting for someone. However,

I'm sure one of my girlfriends would just be happy to.

Sally, say hello to, uh... Bob, how do you do?

How do you do? Well, go to a kid.

Sally waltzes nicely.

Too bad they're playing a rumba.

Now, Mr. Sherwin would only show up.

Greta, are you sure that he's wearing a... I'm positive.

Now, believe me, I'll know him when I see him. Come on.

Well, that's a very good orchestra.

Thank you for the dance, Bob.

Thank you.

Say, would you like some refreshment? Some punch, maybe?

Oh, that would be lovely.

I'll get some.

What happened?

He's dancing already?

Well, he went for some punch. Well, good.

Well, at least one of us is having a good time. If you play your cards right, gosh,

who knows? He may even ask you to dance again.

Oh, well, the evening's young.

Hey, what about the punch?

Punch?

Well, I don't drink myself, but I'd be glad to bring you some.

Well, as long as you haven't gotten any yet, could you bring some for us?

Certainly.

Well, hi. Here you are, Sally.

I'm sorry.

May I... I thought you said you didn't drink.

You kidding?

Okay. We're kidding.

Where's our punch?

Well, I was just about to ask. May I get you some?

I'll be right back.

Help yourself.

Where's yours?

I told you, I don't drink.

Um, why don't you take Sally for another dance? It might clear your head.

Oh, I'm perfectly all right, but I'd love to dance with Sally.

I don't get it.

He forgets about the punch, then he doesn't drink, then he does.

Well, they say that some people drink to forget.

Maybe he took that first one to forget that he forgot. Well, here we are.

I'm sorry you couldn't wait. I got back as quickly as I could.

Never mind about that.

Where's Sally?

Sally? I don't know.

But how about you and me having a next dance?

I should say not.

And it wasn't very nice of you leaving Sally out in the middle of the floor. No,

you go right back out there and find her.

And apologize for being so rude.

What's the trouble with this watered-down punch?

You never know what they put in the water.

Not yet?

I guess he isn't coming.

Oh, gee, Greta, that's a shame.

I happened to mention his name to one of the men I was dancing with.

Do you know the Sherwins spend over $2 million a year on advertising?

Ooh, sure would like to be included in that budget.

Well, anyway, the evening turned out pretty well for Sally.

She's having a wonderful time with her devil.

Hey, it's 10 minutes to 12.

They'll be unmasking at midnight.

Oh, gosh. I hope when Sally takes off her mask,

that fellow doesn't think it's Halloween.

You better not take any chances. I'm ready to call it a night. Oh,

you took the words right out of my mouth.

Only I was ready to call it a washout.

Sally.

Oh, would you excuse me for a minute, please? Well, sure, Sally.

Thank you.

Sally, we're all a little tired. How about calling her tonight? Sure.

Did you have a nice evening?

Oh, yes.

That Mr. Minifee is so nice, he asked me for a date tomorrow night.

Really?

Naturally, I said no.

Well, I'll get the wraps.

Isn't it sad?

She only had a little more confidence. Well,

there should be something we could do about it.

Yeah.

Hey, maybe there is.

What if we invited Mr. Minifee over tomorrow night and had Sally there? Oh, Greta,

she'd run for the hills if she knew we was coming.

She doesn't have to know until he walks through the door.

And meanwhile, we can fix her up a bit, make her look more presentable.

Think we can?

I'll get Jimmy the makeup man at the studio to drop around tomorrow afternoon.

You know, casually, so Sally won't suspect anything.

Yeah, she has nothing to lose.

Anything she does have to lose, she'd be better off without.

I'll go make the date for her with Mr. Menefee.

The Tower House Apartments, Penthouse G. Well, I'd be delighted to come.

It's all set, then. Tomorrow at 7?

Well, thanks a lot.

Likewise, I'm sure.

Was he a good dancer, Sally? Yes, he was so nice. Sorry to have kept you waiting,

girls. Oh, thank you, Sally.

Bingo.

Well, let's go.

Oh, you kids go on ahead. I'll be with you in a minute.

Come on, Sally.

Say, before you go, I'll make one more try. How about a dance?

Sorry. You just be there tomorrow night for your date with Sally.

Date?

Sally?

And don't forget the address.

Tower House Apartments, Penthouse G. See you tomorrow at 7.

I shouldn't.

But it's so screwy, I've got to.

Don't be so nervous, Mike. She ought to look

wonderful in my dress. It's a French import.

I just hope it doesn't lose too much in the translation.

How's it going?

Can't tell yet.

Jimmy wants to give her one of those Italian haircuts.

Oh, gosh. From the back of one of those hairdos,

you can't tell whether it's a woman who just got a haircut or a man who needs one.

Is there anything we can do?

Just pray.

Hey, this Minifee guy hasn't seen Sally without her mask yet.

What if he should go for one of us?

He did seem to go for you at the ball, Greta.

Oh, that's right.

We may not be living dolls, but next to her, at least we look like we're living.

I think we ought to get lost tonight.

No.

We can be more helpful by staying.

Well, Sally may not be a living doll, but, well, next to us,

she's going to look like one. Come on.

You think we'd make the cover of Vogue?

No, but we're a cinch for the back of Popular Mechanics.

You know, I think we should go down to the television studio.

They're casting a new show called Guess What?

Holy smokes, the Martians have landed.

Well, we figured no matter how Sally turned out,

she'd look sensational next to us. Yowie. Yowie.

What happened to you?

Never mind us.

Do I look all right? All right. If you looked any

better, you'd be illegal. I just can't believe it.

Well, I better be going.

Oh, Jimmy, thank you for everything.

Not at all, Sally.

Maybe we can have lunch sometime.

Oh, Sally, that must be your date. My date?

I'll let him in. Night.

Wait a minute.

Is that why you fixed me up like this in Loco's dress and everything?

We'll give you all the details later. Right now, you're

going to make an entrance. Oh, but, Greta, please.

No, ask about it. Now, come on.

Hi.

Oh, won't you sit down, Mr. Menefee? Yes.

Menefee?

My name's Bob Sherwin.

Bob?

Bob Sherwin.

Neither one of you would be Sally, would you?

Your date will be here in just a minute, Mr. Menefee.

I'm afraid I must insist. I'm not Mr. Menefee. I'm Bob Sherwood.

Yes, I know. But what are you doing here?

Well, I came for my date with Sally.

Well, you must be Sally.

Yes.

Uh, Mr. Sherwin, there's... I think there's been a little mistake.

Mr. Sherwin?

Oh, no, no, last night a girl in a flapper costume told me...

I think it was you. She told me to be here at 7 sharp for a date with Sally.

But you weren't even at the ball. Greta was chasing all over looking for you.

What she means is that Greta found out you were going to be at the ball,

and since she works for the network, she wanted

to be sure you had a nice time. Hold it, Mike.

I'm beginning to see the light.

And I wish someone would turn it off. You were wearing a devil's costume last night.

Mm-hmm.

Remember now? And every time I ask you to dance, you turn me over to Sally.

And may I say I'm very grateful.

Greta, you did that for me?

I'm very grateful too.

Well, now that that's all settled, shall we go?

All right, Bob.

Well, good night all.

Thanks again for everything.

Good night, Sally.

Now, there's a perfect explanation. I was smart. I was clever.

I was a girl who really had a brain in her head.

Only it fell out through one of the holes. Excuse me.

Right over there, penthouse G.

Don't feel so badly, honey. Try to eat something.

I am.

I'm eating my heart out.

Well, we wanted to make Sally happy, and we sure did.

Poor Mr. Minifee.

Bringing those flowers and everything.

Maybe one of us should have gone out with him when he asked.

It might have made him feel a little better.

Please, Greta, we've done enough good deeds for one day. That's all I needed,

a date with a lonely butcher.

Hey, kids, come here quick. Listen to this.

The Great Eastern Meatpacking Company buys chain

of supermarkets for seven million dollars.

So?

The deal was negotiated by the president of the Great Eastern Meatpacking Company,

Mr. Edgar Menifee. Mr. Menifee, a millionaire.

Well, you never know.

That's what I always say. You never know.