Original subtitles

This is Monte Carlo.

From all over the world, people come to woo that fickle gypsy, Lady Luck.

The spin of the roulette wheel, the turn of the ball.

If you only knew where the little ball will drop, you could make a million dollars.

That's gambling.

I know a much surer way of making a million dollars.

What's that, lady?

Marriott.

Going down.

Down, please.

Greta, hurry. We'll be late for work.

I'll get her.

Thanks for waiting, Jessie.

Where's my... Oh, she'll be here in a minute.

She just wanted to change her glasses.

Oh, I better get her.

Sorry, Jessie.

Where's Loco? She forgot her glasses.

I'll get it. Here she comes. Find him, Loco?

Without my glasses, I just can't find anything.

It's all right. I can manage. Good morning.

Hold the nerve. You think he could hold that

elevator another second? No, no. Over here.

Oh.

I'm terribly sorry, Jessica.

We can't manage to... Please, Miss McCall, you know the rules of the building.

Tenants must not speak to the elevator operator

while he's having a nervous breakdown.

Good morning, Jesse. Good morning, Mr. Winthrop.

I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. Oh, that's all right.

I had them bring around the convertible for you.

Oh, thank you, Jesse, but I think I'll use the big car today. Okay,

I'll call the garage. Well, you don't have to do it right away.

It's such a nice day, I think I'll walk downtown.

But if you wouldn't please ask me to drop it off at my club for lunchtime.

Right.

Lobby. Thank you, Jesse. Lobby.

Main floor. Convenient to street.

Jason, who is that? Please, you know the rules of the building.

Elevator operators are forbidden to reveal information

concerning young, wealthy, eligible male tenants.

Are you sure?

Oh, what business is he in? I mean, what does he do for a living?

You got me. All I know is he leaves here 5 o'clock in the morning a couple

of days a week to watch the birds around the reservoir in Central Park. Birds?

You mean these?

In Central Park?

Ah, it's some kind of a hobby.

Well...

I wonder if he'd be interested in a nest of chickadees right here in the building.

Not these. These.

There must be some way to meet that Winthrop

fellow without making it look too obvious.

I got an idea. We could throw a rock through his window, he'd take us into court,

and the lawyers would introduce us.

Loco, please.

Wait, I know.

A man is always attracted to a girl with the same interests as his.

But Mike, we do have the same interests, his money.

No, the birds. That's how we'll meet him.

Really, Mike? How do you get introduced to a man by a sparrow? According to Jesse,

he's out in Central Park a couple mornings a week watching the birds.

Now, if he happens to bump into a fellow birdwatcher,

they immediately have something in common, and we're home.

At 5 o'clock in the morning, that's exactly where

I want to be. Home. Sure, but isn't it worth it?

Getting up one morning at dawn for a chance

to sleep till noon the rest of your life?

Okay, Mike.

You can borrow my alarm clock. I'll set it for 4.30.

Wait a minute. We're all in this together. We'll

settle it the only fair way. Cut cards.

All right. High card goes first. Loco?

High card goes first, huh? Uh-huh. What have you got? Oh, I've got a two.

I've got a two.

Well, since you're both tied, I guess we better

draw again. What have you got? Me? I've seen.

Okay, Cookie, you're it. You go first. All right, Greta,

I didn't see that card of yours. A jack.

Greta, that's cheating. All right, let's see that card of yours, Loco. Oh,

I'm willing to draw again if you promise you'll play fair. Loco, let's have it.

What happened? You draw a king, too?

Good morning.

Oh, good morning.

Many lovely birds for a bird watcher to watch today. What about bird watching?

Oh, you like bird watching?

Oh, do I ever.

Well, I've been pretty lucky this morning.

So far, I've seen Scarlett Tanninger, Bob White, Starling,

and Cuckoo eating a grasshopper.

Eating a grasshopper?

Must be Cuckoo.

Did you know that the Cuckoo is a member of the Kingfisher family?

Of course.

Wonderful family.

And what have you seen this morning?

Oh, I saw a bluebird.

Bluebird, this time of the year, they all fly south for the winter.

Oh, well, I guess this one couldn't afford it.

Say, I've seen you someplace.

You have?

Yes.

I know this isn't a very original way to strike up

an acquaintance, but... Well, I thought it was.

I mean, it's better than throwing a rock through a person's window.

I mean, I... Yes, I suppose it is.

Of course, now I know.

Don't you live at the Towers on Park Avenue?

Oh, I...

Yes.

Well, so do I. And we were both in the elevator yesterday morning.

We were? Oh, talk about a small world.

Good idea. Let's talk about it over a cup of coffee.

Oh, I'd love to.

Say, that sounds like the one I've been missing.

It is. It's a red-breasted nuthatch.

My, he's a big one.

He sure is. It's a DC-7.

No, no, no, loco. The nuthatch does not hatch nuts. Well, a woodpecker pecks wood.

Try to concentrate.

We don't expect you to become a bird expert in a day,

but at least learn enough to make Paul think you're really interested in them.

Yes, everything's worked out beautifully so far.

Oh, I'll never get these through my head.

Yes, you will. We have to stuff it through the holes.

Now, come on.

What's the smallest member of the Finch family?

Sparrow.

Now, let's go through these silhouettes again.

What's this one?

How can you tell? It's all black. Oh, come on. What does it look like?

A blackbird. No, it's a thrush.

What's this one?

Oh, I know that one. It's a white-chested grosbeak.

Very good. Now, what's its chief identifying feature?

Well, I spilled some ketchup on the card at lunch.

Oh, Mike, let's forget about these until later.

After dinner, she may know them all.

Now, what about the bird calls? You were doing pretty well on those.

Imitate a whippoorwill.

Fine.

Imitate a Baba Link.

Loco, that's the same thing.

Well, I could say it's a bobbly doing an imitation.

Imitation of a whippoorwill. Wait a minute.

Maybe if we concentrate on the more familiar birds. The New York City birds?

The lark.

And where does the lark go at sunset?

Home to its nest.

And where is its nest?

In a tree.

Yeah, we're getting someplace.

And where is the tree?

In the park.

Fine!

Now all together.

The lark at dark nests mainly in the park.

The lark at dark nests mainly in the park.

Again.

The lark at dark nests mainly in the park.

I think she's got it.

She's got it. The lark at dark nests mainly in the park.

The lark at dark nests mainly in the park.

The lark at dark nests mainly in the park.

Oh, yes, Uncle Trevor. Came this morning.

Thanks for increasing my allowance.

Oh, I'm all finished.

I think I have all the facts you'll need for that chapter on New York City birds.

Oh, I finally saw the red-breasted nuthatch. Uh-huh, I heard it.

No.

No, it's, um... It's more of, um...

That's it.

Yes, well, I suppose it does sound pretty to another nuthatch.

Oh, I'm not being sarcastic, Uncle. Quiet! Oh, not you, Uncle Trevor's.

Uh-huh.

Okay, Uncle Trevor. See you Friday for dinner? Fine.

Oh, Uncle, do you mind if I bring along a girl? I'm

sure you'll like her. She's bird-minded, too.

Fine.

What's that?

Oh, yes.

That sucked your pants.

How do I look?

Just fine. You sure it's not too tight? Not at all.

A dress should always look like there's room for nothing else inside but you.

Listen to this.

The Audubon Society is meeting tonight at the Museum of Natural History.

Professor Rodney Platt is going to lecture on Preserve Our Game Birds. Wonderful.

That's where you're going to ask Paul to take you tonight.

Oh, no.

Besides, it's silly. Preserve our game birds.

Whoever heard of putting birds up in jars?

That's not what it means.

Loco, you've got to follow through on this.

But I thought we'd see a show tonight. There's some wonderful musicals in town.

West Side Story, My Fair Lady. Bet he could get some tickets for that.

Honey, the only music he's interested in is the music of birds.

They're his whole life. You've just got to play along.

That's right. These ornithologists are fanatics on the subject.

Why, to them, a boiled egg isn't breakfast, it's murder.

Now, Loco, remember.

Okay.

But frankly, I've had just about all the birds I can take for one day. Hi.

Hi, come in.

What have you got behind your back? Something for me?

Yes.

Then I know what? Candy?

No.

Flowers?

No.

Now, you're sure you want to go to the lecture at the Audubon Society?

Oh, yes. It's a very important meeting.

Uh, well, okay.

Lobby!

Oh, uh, Jesse, are you and your girl doing anything tonight? No, not a thing. Well,

here, take these. Maybe you can use them.

Someone forced them on me.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Woodruff.

Wow, two tickets to My Fair Lady.

All right, all right, breakfast's coming.

Well, here we are, Elvis.

Remember, don't eat too quickly. This has to last you till tomorrow.

These birds never heard the expression, eating like a bird.

Everyone thinks he's a pig.

Nothing for you.

Thank heavens some of them are already stuffed.

Here we are. My goodness, how long does it take to wash a few bird baths? Well,

don't yell at me. You should have seen the rings around those tubs.

Unfortunately, local, we can't have the birds dry cleaned.

Oh, I don't know. I saw a place around the corner called the Eagle Cleaners.

Well, we have to do something about these birds.

Never mind the birds. What about Paul? How's it going?

Well, I think he likes me, but he hasn't said anything definite. Well,

maybe you ought to drop a few hints. If this courtship goes on much longer,

we may have to take a sublease on a forest.

And if their mating season comes before yours, we're really in trouble.

I'm doing the best I can.

I can't... I'll get it.

Oh, no, a macaw! It's the loudest one yet. I hope

nobody saw me bring him up. Thanks, Jesse.

Here you are, honey, the real macaw. Come out with it.

Dearest Loco, hope you like this one. With a little patience,

you might even get him to talk.

Fine, he talks.

He also eats.

Look at the size of that mouth.

Well, where will we put him? Hey, wait a minute.

If he talks, maybe we can get him to drop a few hints to Paul. That is an idea.

Let's get married. Let's get married.

Well, let's be more subtle.

Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls.

If I'm going to be the bride, I'll pick my own honeymoon.

Bermuda, Bermuda, Bermuda!

Loco, we're trying to teach him. Well, he started it first. Let's forget about it.

It's time to get dressed and off to work.

Come on, let's go.

Loco.

Oh, uh, ladies.

Yes, Mr. Toby?

Ladies, I've been getting some complaints about noise emanating from your apartment.

Bird noise?

To be specific, bird noises.

Now, we don't mind our tenants having canaries, but your neighbor Mrs.

Robinson reports that it sounded more like a flock of

wild geese being attacked by a horde of angry eagles.

Oh, she was probably watching that Tarzan picture

on television last night, and she thought...

As a matter of fact, she was.

But I understand the bird cries persisted right through John Cameron Swayze.

Oh, she must be mistaken.

Well, I'll be up to have a look in a few minutes.

Coming, Mr. Toby. Are you sure they won't make any noise?

Not as long as they're covered.

Oh, gosh, I forgot about him.

Come in, Mr. Toby.

Well, Mr. Toby, see any birds?

No, but do you mind if I look around a bit?

Oh, go right ahead.

A little chilly.

Why don't you turn up the heat?

Oh, it'd be too warm with this on.

Oh, this is a makeshift clothes dummy.

We're remodeling one of my coats for my aunt.

She must have a rather peculiar figure.

Yes, 28, 28, 28. I see.

What is that?

Oh, that! It's my brother's hobby. He makes lamps out of owls.

Lamp?

There's no light in here.

Well, of course not. Owls can see in the dark. Owls can see in the dark.

What? Just me.

A little nervous.

You know, I still can't figure out this clothes dump.

Mr. Tobey!

Let's get married! Let's get married! Niagara Falls!

I was just...

One bird...

Tonight, if these birds aren't out of here by tonight, you will be.

Oh, but please, Mr. Toby, can't we have a little more time?

You see, we really don't want them either. It's just that Mr.

Winthrop gave them to Miss Jones, and he thinks she's a bird lover. Like himself,

and she doesn't want to disappoint him.

And they're probably going to be engaged soon.

Well, young lady, it's none of my affair.

But a marriage based on pretense is doomed from the start.

Remember, out by tonight.

Girls, he's right. Oh, the landlord is always right. Right about what?

About me and Paul. A marriage based on pretenses for the birds.

I mean, it's no good. I can't go through with it.

What?

I can't spend the rest of my life in a birdcage. In a marriage,

you can forget about the birds. No, we'd never be happy.

Sooner or later, he'd be sure to find out that I tricked him.

I call too much to go on pretending.

I just have to tell him the truth.

I hate birds. Oh, but I'll go. Oh, local, please.

I got a note from Mr. Winter for Miss Jones.

Thanks, Jesse.

It's for you, honey.

Dearest Loco, I like you so much, it took quite a lot of effort to write this,

but I can't see myself spending the rest of my life in a birdhouse.

Sooner or later, you'd find out I tricked you,

so you might as well know the truth now.

Next to work and getting up at 5 o'clock in the morning,

I hate birds more than anything else in the world!

And only a rich uncle could have made me pretend otherwise.

By the time you read this,

I'll be on my way to Brazil to mismanage one of said uncle's rubber plantations.

Love, Paul.

Well, live and learn. Yeah, but what did we learn?

The lark of darkness is mainly in the park.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Marge.

Oh, I'd love to.

She wants me to go on a double date with her.

He's handsome.

He's wealthy.

He's young.

Sorry, Marge. Bye. He's a big game hunter.