All language subtitles for How To Marry A Millionaire - S01E02 - Subletting the Apartment

This is one of Florida's
most luxurious resorts.

Here's where the wealthy flock like
migratory birds to spend their winters.

And that's not all they spend, either.

So unless your bank
account runs into six figures,

better not apply for accommodations.

I know one sure way of getting there.

Really, lady?

How? Draw a bead on one of
those wealthy birds and marry them.

Oh, boy, am I tired.

Mother told me there'd be days like this.

I've been standing on my feet
since 10 o'clock this morning.

Hey, what's for dinner, Mike?

Ooh, I'll look in the refrigerator.

Mmm, looks good.

Put on your glasses, honey.

Besides the champagne, our
menu tonight will feature cold

cream and casserole and
hearts of orchids in season.

Well, isn't there anything to eat
around here? No. And we're flat broke, too.

You know, local, when the
three of us figured out

a budget so we could
afford this penthouse,

I'm afraid we left out a few items.
What? Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Eureka!

Mike, you said that Greta and me
wouldn't have to worry about things like food.

I know, I know. You said
at a show place like this,

we'd be meeting scads of men
with millions in the bank.

Right now, I'd settle for a guy
with a hot dog stand on the corner.

All I hope is that
Greta's Palm Beach vacation

is getting better
results than we are up here.

Yeah.

Maybe some sweet old millionaire is
taking her to dinner right now. I sure hope so.

After all, it took our last three
weeks' salary to get her down there.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Dick.

Fine.

I'll be ready about eight.

Bye.

Well, that takes care of your dinner.

You know what I'm going to do? What?

I'll order a big steak and tell the
waiter to put half in a box for my dog.

Ruff, ruff!

There you are, miss. Well done.

Say, Ricky.

Yes, sir?

I ordered my steak rare,
and this one is well done.

Oh, no, Mr. Baldwin, that's
rare. Just like you ordered. See,

the little sign says rare.

I don't care if the little sign says keep
off the grass. This is a well-done steak.

But, Mr. Baldwin...

Coming, coming, right
away. Excuse me, Mr. Baldwin,

we're short-handed tonight. I'll be back.

Waiter.

Pardon me.

If you have the well-done steak,
it's mine. This one's very rare.

I think they got the order switched.

Well, we'll fix that. Hey, buddy.

Would you mind passing this to the lady?

Wow.

I never did know a dame
who knew how to eat a steak.

You saw that this one to death.

Well, it was so rare,
somebody had to kill it.

Besides, you drowned mine in steak sauce.

Hey, you know what?

You got my baked potato.

And you've got my french fries.

Don't tilt your plates, please. I'm
getting your gravy on my ice cream. Sorry.

Wait a minute.

I think you took away my broccoli, too.

You took away my string bean.

You're both taking away my
appetite. Say, uh, say, look.

These steaks are ruined.

I'll pay for these, and
I'll take you to a place right

outside of Palm Beach where
they really serve a dinner.

Well, I don't know, I... Go, please.

You'll love it.

Look, filet mignon.

I told them I had a French poodle
who just loves filet mignon. Well,

it's too bad you didn't tell
them I was a safe Bernard.

Then we could have
gotten some brandy, too.

Gee, I never thought of that.

Telegram.

Thanks.

It's from Greta. Hey, listen to this.

Am in love, have found the man of our
dreams. Rude, crude, egotistical, but loaded.

Oh, isn't that wonderful?

You know, I only wish we were
down there with her so we could

give her some advice on how
to get this guy in tow and...

Uh-oh, listen to the rest.

Desperately need at least $200 to stay
here long enough to land him, Greta.

But we haven't got any money at all.

Couldn't we just send
her $200 worth of advice?

No, she needs the money, and
we've got to get it to her somehow.

You remember our agreement. If one of
us finds a guy with the necessary loot,

the others have to pitch in
and help her get her man.

Maybe if Greta could wait till
our next week's salaries come in.

I owe all mine to a couple of my
girlfriends, but as soon as I pay them,

my credit's good, and I can
borrow it right back again.

Uh-uh, even that's no good. We have
to use it all to pay for the rent.

You know something?

Sometimes I think all we've got
here is a great big white elephant.

Yeah, but when you're
hunting big game like we are,

an elephant can come in mighty handy.

I suppose you're right.

I still wish we weren't saddled with it.

Like tonight, when I met these three
musicians who were looking for a place to rent.

I felt like telling them, take ours.

What musicians?

Oh, three nice fellows who've got
a combo down at this nightclub.

The poor guys work there all night,
and where they are now, it's so noisy,

they can't get a decent day's sleep.

They work all night.

We work all day. Why, it
would be perfect. What would?

If we'd sublet this place to them for
$200. Mike, how did you get so brainy?

Hunger sharpens the wits.

Come in. Make yourselves at home. Well,
the place is yours, at least until sundown.

I still say this is an awful
fancy joint for three slobs like us.

I bet you'll love the place. Wait
till you try sunbathing on the terrace.

Yeah.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

I don't know if this is going to work.

We've got to rehearse here and everything.

It's murder when you
mix babes and business.

Well, you won't even see us.

We'll be gone in the
morning before you get here

and home in the evening after you've left.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on, Lenny, unpack your stuff. Don't
be so downbeat. This place is real cool.

Besides, you're doing
the little girls a favor.

What do you think of this
deal, Frank? Who cares?

As long as it's got a decent place for me
to sack out, that's all I'm worried about.

Man, I'm really... I know
there was something I forgot.

What?

My bass fiddled.

I still can't get over
those bird brains on my board.

This is the fourth time they've called
me back in the middle of a vacation.

Greta, baby, I sure
appreciate you coming back with me.

You know, you're so pretty, I
can't keep my eyes off of you.

Well, Vince, if you're looking
at me and I'm looking at you,

who's looking at the road?

You think I drive too fast, huh?

Just like Barbara used
to... Who's Barbara?

Oh, just a dame.

Let's forget her.

No, I'm interested. Who was she?

Well, I'll tell you.

A little while ago, I
was all set to marry her.

Then one day, I caught her running
around with an old boyfriend of hers.

That finished the romance for me.

But Vince, weren't you
being overly suspicious?

Listen, I'm no dope. The way I figured it,

I was chasing her all through the evening,

and she was chasing
him all through the day.

Well, here's something you didn't know.

A cop's been chasing you
all through Pennsylvania.

Thanks, Vince. Just
leave them there for now.

Say, it's a pretty
nice layout you got here.

Thanks.

It's pretty expensive.

Well, we managed.

That is, my roommates and I.
Two very sweet, wholesome girls.

Well, I'm glad to know
that. You know what they say?

You can tell a girl by
the company she keeps.

Yes.

I guess we're sort of
proper and old-fashioned

in our ideas about... What's the matter?

A spark fell on the rug. I
was just stamping it out.

But you're not smoking.

I was just lighting up. Hey.

You certainly got a
nice set of prints here.

You know, I'm a great fan
of your Trillos myself.

Oh, yes, you Trillo. My roommate
Mike is crazy about his paintings.

She especially likes this... Oops.

Who did you say this was?

You know...

Maurice Oops, the modern?

That's a van Gogh.

Who's Maurice Oops? I never heard of him.

Well, I may have gotten the name wrong.
Say, why don't we go out on the terrace?

It's much cooler out there.

We have a lovely view here.

My girlfriends and I
enjoy this spot so much.

Whenever we want to
relax, we just stretch out

on one of these... Oh, my goodness, look.

Where?

There.

What am I supposed to look at?

All I see over there is Brooklyn.

Well, yes.

Isn't it lovely in this light?
Brooklyn? Vince, I have a terrible headache.

Would you mind very much?

Oh, sure, honey.

I'm sorry, doll. You're
tired from the long trip.

I'll leave you alone so you can rest up.

I think I could use it.

I should have realized
you'd be all worn out. Here,

I'll lug in these suitcases for you.

Oh, no, that's all right.

Oh, but they're heavy. Let me handle them.

Well, all right, just put them in
the bedroom. Okay. On second thought,

just leave them where they are.

Goodbye, Vance.

Bye, honey.

Here's a headache powder, honey.
Drink up. It'll make you feel better.

Say, did you see this note the
fellas left for us? What note?

It was taped to the medicine chest mirror.

Dear girls, if you find a pair
of brown pants with suspenders,

please send them right down to the club.

Signed, Desperate?

Oh, my goodness. I forgot.

I hid them in the cypress bush. Gee, I
wish you hadn't done that on Tuesday.

That's my day to water the cypress bush.

They'll sure need a pressing now.

I'll say so.

Look, girls, Greta's got a problem.

Here we've got three men
living in the apartment,

and she's got a boyfriend
who's jealous, overly suspicious,

and inclined to be narrow-minded.

Now, wait, Mike. He does
have his good points, too.

Yes, these personality flaws
are offset by certain lovable

qualities that can be
summed up in two words.

He's filthy rich.

But that's three words.

No matter how you slice
it, the trio has got to go.

Well, they're such nice fellas,
I sure hate to do it to them.

Besides, I had to spend all of that
$200. How can we ask them to leave now?

We don't, just the
reverse. They ask us to leave?

No, the trick is to make them
want to leave by themselves.

Well, here's what we'll do.

We'll lay off from work tomorrow.

Oh, man, I don't want to do that again.

21 flights of stairs.

Just our luck.

We run a penthouse, next
day elevator breaks down.

Just be glad you fellas don't
play the bass fiddle next time.

This happens again. We got
money back, we move out.

Now, don't flip your wig, Lenny.
We can't do this to these girls.

They're nice chicks, and they
must have needed the dough real bad,

or they wouldn't have rented us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hello.

Hi, look what we've got here.

Oh, my goodness, I'll bet you
had to walk up all those stairs.

Darn elevator.

Breaks down like that two, three
times a week. Two or three times a week?

I'm gonna take up the piccolo.

How you doing home now?

Oh, we're all here.
Today's our cleaning day.

Oh, you boys go right ahead and do
whatever you want to. Don't mind us.

Just pretend like we're not here.

Then I think I'll go take a shower.

I think I'm gonna go hit the sack.

I'm dragging.

You're not doing this
often? Oh, no, it's too hard.

Just a couple of times a week at the most.

What is this?

Wash day, you know. This is the
only place we have to hang them.

This is the last straw.

We're blowing this joint.

You mean you're moving? In double time.

You'll be a square, Linda. You can't do
that to these kids when they're broke.

Can't you see it isn't right?

Leave him alone. He knows his
own mind. You know something?

I got a hunch they're
trying to get us out of here.

Look, this has gone far enough.
Now let's tell him the truth.

You're right.

Cease fire, local. We've
got some explaining to do.

Everybody inside.

Hey, this is service for you.

Well, you fellas have
been so understanding,

you deserve it.
Besides, they're your beers.

And we want you to know
that we're going to pay

back every penny of that
$200 as soon as we can.

Well, listen, we trust you girls,
don't we, Lenny? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Say, do you think I can get into the
bedroom yet? No, Frank's still in there.

He's packing his things. We'll be out
in a minute, and then we'll cut out.

You know, in a funny way,
we're going to miss you three.

Who is it?

Well, I'm all packed and
ready to... Here we go again!

Hey, Vince, what's taking you so long?

Vince, dear, what a nice surprise.

Yeah.

What took you so long to answer the door?

I'm awfully glad you
found time to get away.

Well, I only got a minute. I
have another meeting to go to.

I just thought I'd take the time
to come up to see how you are.

These are the girls I was telling you
about, my two roommates, Mike and Loco. Hi.

Well, what about your other friend?

What friend?

Didn't I hear a man's voice in here?

Oh, there's no man in here. No?

Then whose game of cards did I interrupt?

Oh, ours!

We're sort of card fiends, you know.
Come on, local, let's finish the hand.

Uh, I did three hearts.

I got a full house.

Three hearts and a full house.

And with a pinochle deck, yes.

Oh, well, that must be
why nobody's been winning.

See, we're just learning the game.

Learning the game, huh?

Oh, now, wait a minute, Vince.

What do you mean by coming here
and sniffing around our apartment?

Listen, baby, no dame is going to
make a sucker out of me anymore.

All right, buddy, you can come out now.

Well, I hope you're satisfied.
I think you owe me an apology.

I'm sorry, Greta. I guess I
had things all wrong. You see,

my experience with Barbara really shook
me bad. I guess I haven't gotten over it.

I guess that's why I do these things.

Oh, well, that's all
right, Vince. I forgive you.

But hadn't you better
get back to your meeting?

Yeah, I guess I better.

Well, girls, it was awfully nice
meeting you, and I'm terribly sorry.

Well, Greta, I'll call you
again soon, and we'll...

I wasn't wearing a hat
when I came in here.

Oh, yes, you were, and
very becoming it was, too.

I was right.

Right about what?

There is a man in here someplace.

Maybe even more than one.

But Vince, wait!

They've gotten together and formed a trio.

Free music. And a saxophone player too.

That's what Barbara's
boyfriend was, a saxophone player.

I've had enough of Barbara,
her boyfriend, and you. What?

I'm sick of your suspicions.

These happen to be
three very nice fellows.

Who were subletting the apartment
in the daytime only. Of course,

I couldn't tell you that.
You're such a jealous idiot.

Now, I don't care
whether you believe it or not.

What a performance. You tell him, honey.

Listen, any girl that I'm gonna
marry... Thank goodness that won't be me.

I'm willing. I just
can't see myself married

to a man who distrusts every move I make.

Okay, if that's the way
you want it, goodbye.

You know, two million dollars
just walked right out of our lives.

And I'm glad.

Well, I just had to do it.

But there go our big
dreams of wealth and luxury.

Yeah, champagne and caviar.

Anyone for Bridge Knuckle?

I was just thinking about Vince.

He wasn't such a bad guy,
just a little mixed up.

Yeah, he was sort of cute looking too.

Well, girls, we may as
well forget him. He's gone,

and there's no use
crying over spilt millions.

Who is it?

It's me, Vince.

It's Vince. Come in.

Greta, I've done an awful lot of
thinking about what you told me the other day,

and I've come to the conclusion
that you were absolutely right.

You mean you're not mad anymore?

Certainly not. I'm grateful.

Then everything's
right back the way it was.

Loco, this calls for a celebration.

Let's open that bottle of champagne we've
been saving. Ooh, that's a darling idea.

Vince, you come right over
here and sit down. Right there.

Greta, I want you to
know that I am reformed.

And I got you to thank for
changing my whole outlook on life.

I will never be a jealous jerk again.

Vince, you don't have to. No, I mean it.

I've made a vow.

Here it is.

This calls for a toast.

To the new Vince.

Yes, sir.

Things are going to be
different for me now,

especially since I made up with Barbara.

And after Barbara and I
are married tomorrow,

I want all of you there for the reception.

What's the matter?

Am I drinking too much?

No, but...

We can't afford to waste our ammunition.