All language subtitles for An.Update.on.Our.Family.S01E02.Damn.Good.Mom.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-RAWR_track26_[eng]

(STATIC CRACKLES)

-YOUTUBER 1: Truly disgusted...
-YOUTUBER 2:
It's just too bad...

YOUTUBER 3: Oh my God,
it's so sad.

YOUTUBER 4:
Hey, what the hell is going on?

YOUTUBER 5: Like,
it's literally content fishing.

YOUTUBER 6: They're the worst
kind of people.

HANNAH CHO: I don't know
if the Stauffers had any idea

that this huge
community of people...

YOUTUBER 7: Failure as a mom,
failure as a human being.

HANNAH: ...was about
to rip them to pieces.

YOUTUBER 8:
Fuck you, Stauffer family.

HANNAH:
I mean, it was really scary.

-♪ (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING)

I'm gonna stand outside
of your house with pickets

with a bunch of people
who hate you.

I hope you're scared
to go out in public

because of the decisions
you have made.

Because I'm telling you,
I will come after you,

and I will find you.

You know, why'd they even
fucking adopt this kid?

So they can make
some fucking money!

(PHONE RINGING)

(PHONE RATTLES)

OFFICER 1: Delaware County
Sheriff's Office.

OFFICER 2: This family that
was being accused were vloggers.

And then
we started getting phone calls

and multiple emails
from concerned citizens.

People are making accusations.

It only takes one phone call.

♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ A million eyes
Following around ♪

♪ Do they see anything? ♪

♪ Do they, do they ♪

♪ Want to break you
Love to hate you ♪

♪ Need to take you down ♪

♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

-(WIND RUSTLING)
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)

♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

HANNAH:
Personally and honestly,

I look back now and I feel like
Myka was this friend.

Let me see
if I can get it to play.

-(CHATTER OVER VIDEO)
-Oh, there we go. Okay, good.

I am so excited for this video.

HANNAH: Leading up to China
when they went to get Huxley,

it just felt like they're
throwing out little crumbs,

giving us all these details,
and I was really eating it up.

And I'm not just saying this
because I am biased,

but I feel like Huxley just gets
cuter and cuter and cuter.

Just touched base
with the orphanage,

and she gave us
40 photos of our kiddo,

and I cannot wait

to wrap my hands
around his little hand.

With Huxley in particular,
he brought so much viewership

to their channel and he was like
the main character.

This is my little guy.
He'll be two when I pick him up.

HANNAH: It was literally
built up that way.

The introductions to his name,

going to get him, like,
it was this big moment.

When we saw his video,
it was like, done.

HANNAH: I would just let
her videos play, and I'd listen.

I'd be getting ready every day
being like, "Oh my gosh."

Like, looking at this,
"I can't believe--"

"Yeah, that makes sense."

You know, I ate it up
just like the rest of the world.

MYKA STAUFFER: We are waiting
to formalize our I-800A,

which is immigration
for the U.S.

HANNAH: She was gonna give
all these details

'cause we are
part of the community

and we wanted to know.

MYKA: Jim and I are already
starting to look at flights

because, I mean,

we're most likely traveling
in three months.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

(BIRDS CHIRPING, CAWING)

♪ (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

ANNA: We had originally found
the Stauffers

just by kind of going down

the rabbit hole of searching
for adoption online.

And you know,
one thing leads to another,

and then we got to
one of their videos.

They were just, you know,

this seemingly typical,
happy family

going through
this adoption journey,

which is something
that we were also looking to do.

And then you just get,
like, so invested

that you have
to follow it along.

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-(CAMERA RATTLING)

ANNA: Going through adoption,
there's so much

and it's so overwhelming.

And so being able to kind of see
the Stauffers live through it...

Hi, I wanted to check
on the status

of my I-800 application.

It gives you hope,
because you're like,

"Okay, if these people
can do it, I can do it."

So, this is all of, like,
our paperwork.

SARAH: A lot of information,

and yet
a little stack of papers.

For adoption in general, like,

that we have to prove

we're free
of communicable diseases

and like, stuff like that.

ANNA: This is our judgment.

There's a couple
different things.

Like, the first one actually is

when he first came home with us

and the adoption
wasn't yet finalized.

SARAH:
When we were guardians, right?

ANNA: Yeah.

Watching those videos

at the time
when they were coming out,

it just kind of motivated us
to keep going with our process.

Like, "Okay, there's light

at the end of the tunnel"
sort of thing.

We have made it
through so many steps

of this journey so far,

and I know we're just
getting closer and closer.

(INHALES DEEPLY, SIGHS)

I can't wait.

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-♪ (MUSIC TURNS PENSIVE) ♪

But at the same time,
it's so many emotions at once.

It's like excitement
and nervousness,

but also, you know, the sadness
because of the situation.

We did get some imaging
done recently on our son.

I'm not gonna
talk about his diagnosis,

but I kind of wanna let you know
what his diagnosis pertains to.

His diagnosis is neurological.

You know, in total,

there's four different doctors
involved,

and two main ones
and then two side doctors...

ANNA: They went
to all the medical professionals

and it did seem
like they just felt

so confident
about their decisions.

This is our boy,
and we don't need to consult

with any more physicians

until I bring
this little guy home.

-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-He's our son, and that's that.

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

HANNAH: YouTube was really
pushing playlists back then,

and so they created a playlist
for Huxley's adoption journey,

and they were uploading
to it constantly.

So, when the algorithm
sees that,

they're gonna keep
pushing people towards that.

SEAN CANNELL:
A lot of people don't know

Google owns YouTube,
and Google owns search.

YouTube really studies
your behaviors.

Whatever you've been searching
on Google,

because they're connected,

YouTube will start
serving you videos

based on your expressed
intent of interest,

and so you don't even
really have to search it

for YouTube to start sending you
what you want.

You say, "How did YouTube
read my mind?"

It's 'cause they're studying
your behavior, ultimately.

If someone
not just clicks on the video

but spends one, two, three,
four minutes on the video.

If it's a ten-minute video,
if they watch it until the end,

then why wouldn't YouTube
keep showing it to more people

and more people and more people?

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

View growth history.

Daily subscribers.

At the end of the day,
YouTube's gonna reward

where the views
and attention goes,

and so adopting Huxley
was a moment of growth,

their channel
really started to grow.

I think YouTube creators
make the mistake of thinking

that the amount of videos
they've posted

and the views they're getting
is the most important thing.

But when it really
comes down to it,

the most important thing

is your relationship
with your real fans.

How long can you hold
the viewers' attention?

If you can make a connection

in an intimate, meaningful way
that is nurtured over time,

that's the real secret
to legacy on YouTube

that can grow past
just 15 minutes of fame.

HANNAH: (CHUCKLING)
Okay. She's announcing,

"Two days
until we leave for China."

There's a common saying
on YouTube,

"Give the people
what they want."

"I keep refreshing your page
hoping to see something."

"Ah! So excited!"

"Can't wait
to see your next video."

"Thinking about you guys."

I think it's sweet,

but sometimes it can come off
a little intense.

♪ (MUSIC TURNS OMINOUS, FADES) ♪

ANNA: By the time
that the Stauffers went

to China to pick up their son,

it was like this moment
that they've been waiting for.

And honestly this moment

that, like, their whole audience
has been waiting for.

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(PHONE BEEPS)

'Twas the night before China.

It's finally time
to go to China.

Are you ready to go to China?

(RADLEY STAUFFER BABBLES)

-Go get Huxy?
-RADLEY: Huxy.

Go get Huxy?

ANNA: They, like,
teased it along,

the whole journey.
Everyone's so invested,

and so you kind of almost feel
those emotions along with them.

And then you're kind of like,
"I can't wait to relate

to those feelings as well."

All right. (IN SING-SONG)
We're going to China!

Jump up and down
if you're going to China!

HANNAH: People are asking
for information.

Oh, there's even a hashtag.
#bringhuxleyhome.

Doesn't have any posts anymore.

I bet there was a lot more,
but not anymore.

Going to China to get Huxley,

they decided to share every part
of the process.

(TAPE FAST-FORWARDING)

JAMES STAUFFER: Where are we?

We're in China.
It's official, Mom.

We truly made it, guys.
We're here.

HANNAH: People wanted
hour-to-hour updates.

(TAPE FAST-FORWARDING)

We're on a train. We're heading
to Huxley's province,

and, uh, we'll be on the train
for about four hours.

Think of it like
when you're a teenager

and you have that favorite,

your celebrity crush
or whatever,

and you are obsessed
with everything they do.

There's a level of that

watching them
get prepared for Huxley.

MYKA: For anybody
that gets emotional easily,

here's Huxley's crib.

You know what we should get?

We should get a big cake for Hux
when he gets here.

"What are you wearing?
Your makeup's so pretty!"

"Keep waiting
to see a vlog or something."

"I know
you've met him by now. Yay."

Myka and I
are actually falling asleep.

I'm gonna try to get
the vlog done tomorrow morning,

get it up, guys, but...

Bear with us.
We'll get the vlogs out. Yeah?

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

HANNAH: "Y'all, it's 1:00 a.m.

where they are.
They are probably sleeping."

Someone's replying,

literally telling
everyone to calm down. (LAUGHS)

-♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(POPCORN POPPING)

(MICROWAVE WHIRRING)

(MICROWAVE DINGS)

HANNAH: So, by the time
the Stauffers were in China

to get Huxley,

there had been so much buildup.

They're gonna share
every moment of it.

I'm starting to get
tons of butterflies.

(SIGHS) I was, like,
crying downstairs. I just...

I can't believe
this is happening.

This is it, guys.

We've literally been pacing
for, like, the last ten minutes.

Our guy should be here
any second now.

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

ANNA: It was almost surreal

-because it was like...
-It was.

...all of this time

and all of these emotions
kind of coming to one point.

MYKA: Hey, Jim,

if you could tell Huxley
one thing before you meet him,

what would you tell him?

(MYKA GRUNTS SOFTLY)

HANNAH: It feels like
you're the fly on the wall,

like you're along
where you get to see
all of it with them.

You feel like
you're there with them.

And we couldn't wait for him
to finally just be with them.

(PA ANNOUNCER SPEAKING CHINESE)

(CAMERA RUSTLING)

-(CAMERA RUSTLING)
-♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(MUFFLED INDISTINCT CHATTER)

HANNAH: I mean, the first time
they showed Huxley in the video,

you just feel this almost love

or connection yourself
to this boy

that you've just been
rooting for.

But then it was a different
kind of emotion

and it was
kind of hard to watch.

(CASEWORKER SPEAKING MANDARIN)

(HUXLEY STAUFFER CRYING)

HANNAH: You just were wondering
what was going through her head.

ANNA:
Seeing it before we adopted,

I think, um,
you kind of only see,

like, the excitement,
the happiness.

(CHILD SQUEALING)

And all of those feelings
are true,

but there are so many
other feelings involved,

for him as well.

(MUFFLED CHATTER CONTINUES)

They may have felt prepared,
but there's no way

you could ever
really be prepared.

(HUXLEY CRYING)

It's okay, baby.

Something that, that family
kind of opened the world to

is adoption is trauma.

It was harder because Huxley
was a little bit older,

so he already had attachments
to his foster mom.

But then seeing James' thoughts
and his reaction to it,

it was also emotional.

I'm not gonna lie.
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.

It's been rough for us

because he had such a bond
with his foster mom.

They gave us all these pictures,
all these clothes.

They took him to the beach.

They took him to see dolphins.

They took him
to the park every day.

I mean, the kid had
a full-blown mom,

-it seems like.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
-(LOUD CHATTER)

-(SIGHS)
-♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

The poor kid. (SNIFFLES)

(HUXLEY CRYING)

(MOUSE CLICKS)

You're happy for them...

(VOICE QUIVERING)
...but you're also a little sad
for Huxley because, you know,

he's losing something, you know?
So, it's complicated.

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

CAMERON LEE SMALL:
I think a struggle for me

when I think about the Stauffers
is how to...

enter this dialogue

without centering
adopters again.

CAMERON: White adoptive parents

have been, uh,
a very significant,

central voice
in the adoption dialogue.

From an adoptee's perspective,
we're wondering,

"Is there more to this story?"

I provide mental health services
for adoptees,

families,
extended family members.

And in my work with families,

my hope
is their willingness to say,

"I don't know everything,
and maybe love isn't enough,

so what are some ways

that I can be prepared,
um, internally

to take this next step
into this lifelong journey?"

In my work as a clinician,
reflexively,

I think back to my own story.

I am a transracial
international adoptee.

So, the-- Okay.

I was a son
before I was adopted.

CAMERON'S FATHER:
There's Cameron and his tire.

CAMERON: We had a life
before we were adopted.

We had names.
We had relationships.

-CAMERON'S FATHER: Hi, Cameron.
-Hi.

I was born in Korea
and lived with my mom and dad

for the first three years
of my life.

When I was about
three years old,

my dad died,

and then my mom, she decided
to place me for adoption.

Yeah, so this was the day
I arrived at the airport,

being held by my dad.

My new dad.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

CAMERON: My parents told me

that I jumped
out of my dad's arm...

-(BABY CAMERON CRYING)
-...ran back onto the airplane,

just screaming in terror.

"Eomma, eomma."

Screaming for my mom.

CAMERON'S DAD:
There is the big guy.

I didn't have words or language
to put to my experiences.

I wonder with Huxley,

what was it like for him
to be removed from his family

and everything that he knew?

Going from all of the sights
and sounds

and relationships
and sensory experiences,

having to say goodbye
to all of that... forever.

(INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT)

First time on an airplane.
This will be cool. You ready?

CAMERON:
Everything that was important

to this new set of sounds

and sensory experiences. And...

this is tough.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

-(HUXLEY COUGHING)
-(SEATBELT SIGN CHIMES)

MYKA: Hi, Huxy. Huxy.

Hi, bubba. (CHUCKLES)

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

CAMERON: Probably so confused.
"What's going on right now?"

And then
joining this new family,

making sense of,

"Wow, there are not
many other people

who look like me."

And then having camera there.

What would that be like
for Huxley?

(SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE)

CAMERON:
We're expecting this child

from this place
on planet Earth...

(STATIC CRACKLES)

...to come over
to this other place

on planet Earth.

Going from the airplane

to this small,
predominantly White town.

-(CAMERA RATTLES)
-(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

CAMERON: "And now,
I'm here in this stranger's home

and just have a camera rolling."

-JAMES: We're finally home.
-MYKA: Home.

JAMES: Huxley's first time
in the house.

-MYKA: We're in the house.
-JAMES: We're home, Huxy.

So, there's a lot of benefit
in being able to share stories

and be vulnerable.

We just don't want
to put that out there

at the expense
of the very real profound loss

that Huxley has gone through.

(MUFFLED INDISTINCT CHATTER)

CAMERON: Who benefitted
from this child's story

being broadcast to thousands
or millions of people?

You know, especially
when the child is involved,

and not understanding
what's going on.

Who's it for?

(VIEWS COUNTER CLICKING)

-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)

♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

-(KEYBOARD KEY CLACKS)
-HANNAH: "Gotcha Day."

My parents
called it that for me.

And they would celebrate it
every year,

like, the day I came to America.

But it feels a little bit
like a...

I don't know how to say it.
Like you adopted a dog.

"It's your Gotcha Day."
Like that sort of thing.

And it's like-- So,
it's a little bit, uh, cringey.

This is me at the airport.

Look at that face.
Probably not mad

after like a 20-something
hour flight, you know?

Probably not happy about it,
I should say. (SCOFF SOFTLY)

So, this is stuff that came over
with me from Korea.

You can see Korean baby bottle,

onesie, a little can of formula,
and a diaper.

It took me up until my twenties

before I was even able
to call myself an orphan.

And that's why I think
watching the Stauffers

was so beautiful,
or at least it felt that way.

Like, it was easy for an adoptee

to romanticize
what they were doing,

'cause I mean, that's how
they were showing it in, like,

"Going to get him,"
and, "We're excited,"

and like making it
such a positive thing.

This sounds
probably a little sad,

but maybe a way to help
heal some of my trauma,

because I'm gonna watch people
do it right.

(CHATTER OVER VIDEO)

HANNAH: Seeing Huxley's
last moments in the orphanage,

it was extremely emotional.

I think that's what
the Stauffers didn't realize,

is they were doing
this huge thing

when they decided
to share adoption,

not considering
that these babies and children

already have a whole existence,

and how heartbreaking
it would end up being.

-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(BIRDS CHIRPING)

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

ANNA:
Hey, let's put your shoes on

-so we can play. Come on.
-SARAH: I'm gonna get you!

-ANNA: Shoes. Listen. Listen.
-(CHILD LAUGHING)

-SARAH: Oh, I got you!
-ANNA: Hey.

You know, there are so many
different sides to adoption.

(CHILD SQUEALS)

-SARAH: Oh yeah!
-ANNA: Ready? Ready? Go run.

SARAH: The adoption is not just
what we experience,

it's also what our son
experiences and his story.

ANNA: When the Stauffers
got back to the States,

they got stuck, really,
in this push and pull

of "What should we share?
What shouldn't we share?

Enough to keep us relevant,

but not enough
to kind of invade our privacy."

-♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪
-(MOUSE CLICKS)

One of the hardest things
about our first week in China

was Huxley grieved so hard.

-♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-I told Jim, you know,

"I want people
to see the hard part,

but at the same time,
I want to keep that private

because that's
Huxley's hard part."

That's something that he needs
to keep to himself,

because if I were daily vlogging
every single moment,

I feel like I'd be really wrong.

(MOUSE CLICKS)

ANNA:
When you're adopting a child,

people think that they know
things that they don't,

and kind of putting it
all out there

before you actually really know
what you're getting into.

-Yeah.
-It could be dangerous.

Watching them,
I could see that happening.

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-At the end of the day,

I feel like
I wasn't prepared enough

for what trauma
truly looked like.

When I started
the adoption process,

I never really found
very much material

on what it was like
when you get home and...

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

...I just pray to be
an amazing mom to him

and just take the best care
of my family

-as I humanly possibly can.
-(MOUSE CLICKS)

Maybe they're thinking
they're not gonna

share Huxley as much,

but that's what the viewers
are there for.

The viewers want
and expect those updates.

We've been a part of the family.

And even further than that,

so attached to a point
they're sending gifts.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MYKA:
This is from a viewer. Wow.

"A little welcome home
for all the kiddos.

Sending love."

Oh my gosh.

JAMES: There's something in here
for you guys.

Wow. That is
the most generous thing.

KOVA STAUFFER:
Which one's mine?

"Dear Huxley. Ni hao.
Thanks for being pen pals.

I'm sending a couple treats
that I really enjoy

-and I hope you like them too."
-(CHILD CHEERING)

SEAN:
When it comes to the Stauffers,

there is something about

the depth of a relationship

that is able to happen
because of video content.

We got one
of the sweetest packages

in our PO box.

Um, one of our viewers sent us
two adoption books

and she sent a little letter.

She also sent a picture
of everyone.

And I thought this was so cool.

JAMES: We also got some
amazing Christmas cards.

I really feel connected.
Like I'm doing this,

and I'm really
making connections

with these family members

and I wanna, like,
make more friends

out of the viewers, you know?

One of the things
that makes a great story

is having great characters,

and Huxley was a main character.

He was a character
to be rooting for.

A character, uh, who is loved

and a character
who is part of the story.

And you sometimes think,
"If I stop pedaling the bike,

is London Bridge
gonna tumble down?"

(VIEWS COUNTER CLICKING)

HANNAH: Huxley was getting them
the most engagement.

So, even if they were trying
to move away

from that a little bit,

of course, they're gonna put him
in the video,

because people wanna see
what's going on with Huxley.

-That's what we're there for.
-(MOUSE CLICKS)

Wanna say hi to your friends?

Can you say hi to my friends?

-Hi, guys.
-(HUXLEY FUSSING)

He's like, "What are you
talking about, Mom?

Crazy lady."

Can I have a hug?

HANNAH: They wanted to keep
sharing him specifically.

So they would create thumbnails
that centered Huxley.

Big, bold graphics.
It was all him.

And so,
it crosses this weird boundary

where he's been the spectacle,

and they had to keep it going

because that's still
what people were there for.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

HAROLD EARLS:
Can you lead the way?
Where are we going?

RACHEL EARLS:
Yeah, we need a leader.

HAROLD: We need a big leader.

-CHILD: Oh, no.
-Oh, no. Tracker.

RACHEL: Let me go--
Come on, Major.
Come on. Good boy.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

-HAROLD: I love you, boys.
-(CHILD SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

HAROLD: We definitely
left the groceries out, babe.

By the way,
this is what we're working with.

By the way, first off,
if you all are watching,

we're doing
a kitchen renovation,

-which is a disaster right now.
-We're a mess.

Everything's falling apart.

-But we have bananas, so...
-That are out.

No, no. I'm saying that we need
to put away the groceries.

Okay. Here. This is for--

Someone is gonna
click on your video

based off of your title
and your thumbnail.

And so, for us,
we spend a lot of time, like,

"Okay,
what's the title gonna be?"

Let's take a good thumbnail."

And every creator does that.

You know
what we did on Facebook,

where we did
the little Christian fish thing?

I think that's a cool...
You know what I mean?

Kind of showing
our faith without...

Yeah, I tried to do it,
but the stripes on his shirt

-didn't really...
It didn't appear.
-Oh.

RACHEL: Definitely
the title is probably my--

and the thumbnail,
my least favorite part,

because it's like,

"Great, we had
this wonderful day,

all these great experiences
we wanna show,

but we know the only reason

that somebody's
gonna watch this video

is based off of that title
and that thumbnail."

"Is it interesting enough?"

It's just like any other thing,
what are people gonna click on?

The problem is, is like, for us,
we're a family channel,

and I think a lot of people
don't realize the algorithm

rewards more aggressive videos.

And what I mean
by that is the algorithm

makes it so that if you make
a more aggressive title

about your kids or about
something super dramatic

that happened,
it will get more views.

And so I think it puts families
in a really tough situation

because it can create
this amazing niche community,

but it also can pull people
to the edges.

(BEEPING)

-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(TRAFFIC RUMBLING)

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

SOPHIE ROSS: I just have
a lot of opinions on things.

Like, no one in real life

wants to talk
about these things,

so that's why I turn to Twitter.

(CHUCKLES) That's why
I love the Internet.

I was scrolling
and I noticed that,

you know, Myka and James
started posting

Huxley's medical issues.
Like, why...

Why was that, you know,
YouTube fodder?

You wonder. But then again,
it's like, at the time,

fans and followers
were kind of eating it up.

They were very invested
in Huxley's journey.

And when they saw things
they didn't like, they spoke up.

MYKA: Oh, no.
This is horrible. I hate it.

JAMES: Show me.

Show me.

Good job, Huxy.

HANNAH: Clearly he's sucking
his thumb for too long,

and they wanna break him
of that.

But with the thumb guard,

it really made people
have mixed reactions.

And Myka was getting frustrated.

She's gonna respond to it.

-JAMES: There's two now.
-A lot of people commented

like super rude on Instagram.

They're like, "Why would you
put a thumb guard on him?"

-JAMES: You know--
-And we were told by our...

-JAMES: Dentist, especially.
-...dentist if we...

That it was highly recommended

or he would need
an unnecessary surgery...

-JAMES: Like the upper jaw...
-...because he's changing...

JAMES: ...and roof
of his mouth surgery.

...the palate of his mouth.

SOPHIE: With the Huxley content,
for some fans,

they had started to have a voice
or an opinion.

Fans that were investing
in her and her family,

investing their time,
their views,

because Myka
had gotten them invested.

She was the one
that got them invested.

And that was just
one of many dominoes

that kind of fell.

When they were figuring out

some of the medical stuff
going on with Huxley,

James kind of stepped up

and we watched him
take Huxley alone

to his first big appointment.

It's gonna be a long day, guys.

We're here for like five
to six hours, I think.

HANNAH:
People started questioning,

"Why is he more
on the forefront now?"

And we were seeing less of Myka.

"Where's Myka?

Shouldn't she be there
for that?"

It seemed like James
was taking on a lot more.

-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-(SCREAMS)

So, we're all done, guys.
Huxley did amazing.

We learned that he can hear
out of both ears perfectly.

Like, his hearing is spot-on.

HANNAH:
It looked like to the viewers

that she was checking out
from Huxley.

(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

HANNAH: Trolls were starting
to say things

like "Myka's being lazy."

She was being disengaged.
Like, disengaging from Huxley.

He'll be able to communicate,

it just may take
a little bit more time.

But she wasn't gonna
just roll over

and be like, "Oh, I'm so sorry,"
and, "What can I do to make

these people
happy with me again?"

So, I just wanna come on here,

and I know
I sound hyper-aggressive,

and that's fine.
I'll get the brunt for it.

But all I wanna say
is I'm bonding with my kid.

I'm doing what I'm doing.

We put our lives
on social media,

and I'm not gonna
have people sit there

and treat me like a fool,

because I'm not gonna take it.

I take good care of my kids
and I'm a damn good mom.

And I'm not gonna have anyone
in the comments sit there

and try to tell me otherwise,
because you know what?

-It ain't gonna fly. (CHUCKLES)
-Preach. High five.

Preach. Boomshakalaka.

MYKA: Come on! This is...

HANNAH: As a mom myself,

to anyone who wants to give hate

on any parenting decisions
I've made,

I'm not gonna cuss,
but screw you.

Like, you don't know.

As a parent,
you're doing the best you can.

So, in these moments,
I did feel defensive of them.

But at the same time,
she's making good money.

Like, that's what you know
is happening.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

MYKA: So, in order
to bond with Huxley,

I decided to use
Dreft baby detergent.

Dreft baby detergent
has this scent

just like a newborn,

so when I'm cuddling
a three-year-old baby boy,

I can still feel
like I'm snuggling

that brand-new baby,

and I get that baby scent
that I never got from my son.

The idea of adoptee situated
in a little story like that

to sell laundry detergent,

it seems to objectify
the adoptee.

I'm not saying
that is anyone's intention

to objectify these children.

It could come across that way.

I wanna thank
Dreft baby detergent

for sponsoring today's video.

And if you're new
to this channel,

definitely subscribe.

And if you like this video,
give it a thumbs up.

That feels icky
because that feels like...

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

I don't know.
It feels like that's crossing

a little bit of a boundary.

You know, when you see a child

who did not consent
to any of this,

advertised using glossy ads,

and really play up Huxley's face
with the detergent,

it feels exploitative.

He's kind of
the new moneymaker for Myka.

Huxley had been home
for about a year,

and, you know,
they were seeing that

adopting really brings in
the money when you do it right,

when you gain a following
on YouTube,

so why not do it all over again?

We are currently talking
about another adoption,

and this is one of the reasons

I want you guys
to think about it

is videos like this
of a little boy.

He was in the foster
care system.

CASEWORKER: (OVER VIDEO)
You will have a family.

You will have daddy
and mommy, okay? Don't cry.

That video breaks my heart
to the core.

Guys, adoption does
something crazy to your heart.

For some people,
it actually might be

kind of an addiction,
having children.

Like, I think that there
is kind of like a fetish even.

This is what happens
to adoptive parents.

They continue to read,
and look, and follow,

and continue
to monitor these children

-to be adopted.
-(IN SING-SONG) Adopt a kiddo.

(NORMALLY)
You want a little brother?

JAKA STAUFFER:

-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-HANNAH: It did feel like...

...another push for views.

Like, "We're gonna tease this."
It's clickbait.

That's a great title.
"We're thinking about adopting
again." Oh my gosh.

So all the viewers
that had kinda
lost interest at that point

were gonna watch for that.

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-We are adopting again.

I feel like
this might be our last.

Like, I feel like this could be
our last baby.

We're definitely
gonna be doing updates

the entire time,

filling you in
on literally everything.

Make sure you're subscribed
to the vlog channel, guys.

If you guys are excited
for this journey,

give this video a big thumbs up.

She officially
is informing her followers

that she is ready
to adopt again,

and you know
that's going to get her

kind of the attention
that she's probably craving.

But barely two months later,

they tease
another big announcement.

(MOUSE CLICKING)

And yesterday,
another bomb-dropper.

I had so many signs
of being pregnant.

Having babies
is good content. It just is.

One thing we knew
that Myka did really well

is that she knew
the type of content

that people would respond to.

MYKA: Okay. Open your eyes.

HANNAH: To celebrate
the announcement of a baby,

it would get
immediate attention.

But this feels a little staged.

MYKA: I wanna tell you that
you are the most amazing man

that I've ever met
in my entire life.

And I wanna tell you
one more thing.

(JAMES CHUCKLES)

One more little thing for you.

Will you accept this pacifier?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

She's pregnant again,
that is insane to me,

'cause now
she has too much on her plate.

It's insane. Like, genuinely,
who would do that to themselves?

Bringing new children
into their family

was a surefire way
to get more views,

get more followers,

get more sponsorships,
and get more money.

MYKA: When I was a little girl,

Barbies were my absolute
favorite toy.

So having these memories

where the girls
can look back on us

is just so amazing.

Thank you, Mattel, for paying me

and helping me
create this video.

(CASH REGISTER DINGING
REPEATEDLY)

-(DINGING STOPS)
-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

Things really took off for them

and you could kind of see
the lifestyle change.

Hey, guys.
Welcome to my new crib.

And come on in.

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

JAMES: We have a surprise
for you guys.

MYKA: We're going
to Disney World.

-MYKA: You wanna go?
-KOVA: Yeah!

I feel like we are celebrities
going on vacation.

We're at Cartier.
And this is one place

that Myka's always wanted to get
a piece of jewelry from.

Thank you so much. I could cry.

With YouTube, you know,

it's turned into
a full-time business for us.

And it's done really well
and it's all thanks to you guys

and all the amazing support
that you've given us.

They were about to make it.

Like, they were
in People magazine

and it's like they had arrived.

♪ (INTRIGUING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

SEAN: I had an interview
with Myka Stauffer,

and we were at an event
called VidSummit.

The interview
was pretty straightforward,

very tips-based in terms of,
you know, how they monetize,

how they build their channel.

If someone turns
on your channel right now,

it's really amazing. Almost
a half a million subscribers.

-MYKA: Yes.
-What's also really impressive

is how well--
You're making a lot of money.

There's way better subscribe--
YouTubers out there.

But one of the big things
I did was

I started studying analytics
really hard.

You could have
a liquid gold mine

and it could be insane.

This interview didn't age well.

Do you have a favorite failure?

So, I wouldn't
call it a failure,

but I would call it something
that was really, really, really,

really challenging. Um,

we recently adopted a little guy
from China.

Definitely not a failure.

I mean, I've never
heard an answer like that.

When you adopt a child,
it's forever.

And when you adopt a child,

and there's stuff
that you didn't know,

it's genuinely
just naturally hard.

It just puts you in a spot

you didn't know
you were gonna be in.

Usually, it's like,
"What's your biggest failure?

What's a failure
you've learned from?"

And they'll be like,
"Oh, you know,

I posted too many videos
in the first year,

and I burnt out,"
or something like that.

(MOUSE CLICKS)

SEAN:
A lot of maybe internal conflict

was already happening
in this moment.

-(BIRDS CHIRPING)
-♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

HANNAH: As fans,
it was clear that things

were getting hard
for the Stauffers.

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

JAMES: What's your deal?
What's wrong?

(HUXLEY CRIES)

-JAMES: What? What's wrong?
-CHILD: Give it back.

What's wrong? What's your deal?
What's wrong?

We're having some meltdowns.

Daddy has told me
that Huxley took a nap,

and I am 100 percent confident,

Huxy, that you did not take
a night-night.

You didn't take night-night,
did you?

This is Huxley's,
like, eighth tantrum.

(HUXLEY CRYING)

MYKA: No more.
Come on. Let's go.

You're not gonna throw a fit
when you don't get your way.

-That's not okay. Let's go.
-(HUXLEY CRYING)

HANNAH: There were definitely
hard moments...

(CRIES)

...but then they shared
his full diagnosis.

-♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-That felt like
the hardest thing

they had been through yet.

It's been a really
incredible year

but it's also been...

-Hard.
-...our hardest...

-Hardest year of our life.
-...year testing ourselves.

You know, I wanna be
honest with you right now,

and I just wanna be frank.

We went to get Huxley
tested for autism

about four weeks ago,

and then we finally
got the prognosis

and diagnosis for him.

He does have several issues,
ADHD, um...

-Level three autism.
-...level three autism,

"May live with you
for the rest of your life,

may never be potty-trained."

Like, when we heard
all of these things,

it just hurt.

And then we're just like,
"I wanna turn the camera off,"

and I'm so upset
that I'm not doing a good job.

-(SOBS)
-♪ (PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

HANNAH: That was a heavy video,

and you could feel
their emotion.

But also, for the next year,
you really saw them step it up.

You could see that the Stauffers
were really giving 100 percent,

and really trying to give it all
to Huxley.

Can you show me your hair?

MYKA: Yay!

Yay!

-Ball.
-HUXLEY: Ball.

Ball. Good job!
Now, we're gonna throw. Throw.

(CHILDREN LAUGHING)

-MYKA: Oh, are you gonna dance?
-HUXLEY: Yeah.

MYKA: Dancing. Show me
your dancing, buddy. Oh yes.

We got it on camera! (LAUGHS)

Yes!

HANNAH:
"Yes, she's done some things

that I don't necessarily
agree with,

but I do feel for her
during this time."

Yeah, so she's getting support.

People are seeing
that it's hard.

There's two sides.

(WHEELS RATTLING)

(BABY CRYING)

HANNAH: After they had
their fifth child,

it seemed like
they were less interested

in adopting again
and they were showing more

that they were working
with Huxley,

and improving
his language skills.

HUXLEY: Aba.

MYKA: Do you see another apple?
Oh, you do? Good job.

That's a new word
that Huxley is trying to say

is apple. "Aba."

-Do you like apples?
-HUXLEY: Aba.

-MYKA: Apple.
-(MUTTERS SOFTLY)

MYKA: Good talking, buddy.

You're doing so good.
High five. High five.

So, when you see happy moments
with Huxley and Myka,

and you see her
putting in effort,

and really taking on
the autism diagnosis

and all of that,
I really do believe she tried.

We're gonna run through
all of the signs really quick,

just to make sure he knows them,

um, down pat
before we teach anything new.

-Show me "help."
-(HUXLEY MUTTERS)

Good job. Show me "more."
Show me "eat."

-(HUXLEY GRUNTS)
-Oh, you did a good job!

Oh!

♪ (VOCALIZES JAUNTY TUNE) ♪

And you wanna believe
that it's real,

that she really did have
a connection with him.

Slow down. Sit on your butt.

You were trying
to give me a kiss?

Give a kiss. Give me a kiss.

(HUXLEY GIGGLES)

Give me a kiss.

-No? Okay.
-(MOUSE CLICKS)

HANNAH: You can see
that there's tenderness

and love between them.

♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

HANNAH: And it really
messes with your head,

because it was
one of the last videos

you see of him.

SOPHIE:
For two and a half years,

Huxley was the star.

And then, you know,
three months go by,

and a lot of fans
really started to notice

that he was
not showing up anymore.

He had just kind of disappeared
from the channel.

(KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING)

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

HANNAH: People were asking,
"Where is Huxley?"

Myka deleted them.

-♪ (UNNERVING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(PAPER CRUMBLING)

(KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING)

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-(PAPER CRUMBLES)

As soon as, you know,

someone starts
deleting comments,

you're like,
"What exactly are they hiding?"

-(MOUSE CLICKING)
-(PAPER CRUMBLING)

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-(PAPER CRUMBLES)

Why wouldn't they just
respond to that?

(KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING)

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-(PAPER CRUMBLES)

It just tells everyone

that there's something going on.
You're trying to hide something.

That's the only reason

you would take
stuff down like that.

These followers were very, very,

very invested
and they were digging.

They were digging for evidence.

JAMES:
And to begin this process...

SOPHIE: In this video
on James' YouTube channel,

Stauffer Garage,

followers piece together
the fact

that Huxley's car seat
was missing.

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING)

That's how, you know, tuned in
so many of these followers were,

trying to figure out
where Huxley went.

But then there was something

suspicious happening
with the old videos.

In April of 2020,

suddenly everything with Huxley

is private.
You click on it, it's gone.

(BEEP)

(BEEP)

That's sketchy.

(KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING)

-(MOUSE CLICKS)
-(PAPER CRUMBLES)

♪ (MUSIC FADES) ♪

♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪