Original subtitles

You forgot to set your alarm., Alex

You've got 15 minutes ‘til he arrives.

Fuck my after-life.

Yeah, I know.

That's twice.

I won't do it again today. I promise.

You know what I'm dealing with.

Speak of the devil.

Alex, Hunter will be here.

They will both be here in one minute.

(Text Message Received)

Alex - Fück. Joey - Yeah.

Fück.

They're on their way.

(dishes clanking)

You haven't showered.

(dishes clanking)

You haven't brush your teeth.

(dishes clanking)

They will notice.

Hunter is a dentist, for Christ's sakes.

Sorry.

Hunter. Hey.

Hunter: Hey, Alex.

This is Franklin.

Will you take this for me? Alex: Yes.

Thank you.

Hunter: You, uh, forgot I was coming.

He forgot.

Alex: No, no, I didn't forget.

He forgot.

Alex: You're always on time.

I don't like people waiting on me.

Him and me both.

Alex forgot to set his alarm.

TJ: I thought he was getting better about that.

Joey: I thought so, too.

Joey: I had to shake the bed to get him up.

TJ: I can see that.

I've had a busy morning,

Looks like you just woke up.

Joey: Alex was up late last night. TJ: playing video games while scarfing down a pizza.

Joey: He had to meet a deadline for work.

And how did your human

spend his evening? Working out? Eating a

Keto bar? Studying a tooth chart?

So boring.

Alex: So, tell me about this

vacation.

You're just jealous that I was assigned the perfect man

and you were assigned that.

TJ: I saw the reminders on the fridge.

TJ: He has made progress. Joey: Thanks. TJ: Joey,

You are not organized. You cannot multitask.

TJ: When we were - Joey: Alive. TJ: Together ...

I had to circle important dates just so they would stand out.

Did you circle today's date or did he? Joey: TJ,

I’m his guardian angel.

It is my job to guide him,

to help him make better choices,

to improve himself,

to find his purpose.

By shifting Post-its and shaking beds.

Oh Joey. Just remember the rules.

You can only do two acts of God a day.

I know the rules, TJ. God.

You are still such a condescending dïck. Even when you're dead.

Oh, I'm very much alive.

Living vicariously through Hunter.

Here, I've got Franklin's schedule

written out and his doctor’s information, for the vet.

I have the perfect place for this. Hunter: Where?

On the fridge.

Awww. You blocked off your calendar for this.

Usually, your calendar’s ... blank. TJ: Hmmmm.

Alex: I've been adding to it lately.

Especially important dates.

This helps me focus.

And stay organized.

Joey: It does.

Looks like mine.

I did the same thing, but in my planner.

Like I used to do.

And I circle important dates, too.

I don't

remember circling it. TJ: Because he didn't circle it.

Oh, like you thought about buying a planner on your own.

Who buys a planner anymore?

Well, was the calendar your idea, or was it his?

What do you mean? I mean, how could I?

How would I turn an idea into real life, in a physical way?

By making commercials. Using that halitosis skank ass friend of yours.

He has a name. TJ: Brian.

You invited him over to the house too many times,

and he always overstayed his welcome

with his long winded rants about nothing.

Always talking about, oh what was it?

Oh yeah, himself.

At least I had friends.

TJ: Well, I can't recall the last time I was compelled to create a commercial

or make a change to Hunter's immediate environment.

But you, my dear, are out of changes for the day.

Joey: Fück you, TJ. TJ: What the fuck is happening?

I think they're flirting.

They most certainly are not.

Is Hunter still single?

Hunter will not end up with Alex.

Besides, he's not into scrawny nerds who need constant reminders on how to live.

I can feel something when they're together.

I feel it every time they see one another.

Alex is not Hunter's type.

Trust me. I've seen his porn.

He likes guys that are like ...

Like me.

Watch it.

I can move shit around.

I could create a leak that would require a plumber,

and then Hunter would have to find another dog sitter.

I haven't used my acts of God today

yet. Joey: TJ,

Just look at them.

They're cute together.

We could ... help them.

We can work together.

TJ: Alex is not good enough for my hunter.

GROSS.

Sorry.

Is that the same shirt that you were yesterday?

Uhhhh. I'll go change.

Oy.

(sultry music)

Oh for fuck's sake.

What the hell? God, it went off an hour earlier.

TJ: Did I do that?

Joey: You're trying to cock block them.

You know, I, uh,

I should ...

I should go.

I don't want to get stuck in traffic and miss my plane.

Of course.

Damn you, TJ.

Thanks, Alex.

You know, for the coffee and the chat and for taking care of Franklin.

I know two weeks is a long time.

You have that work trip and Franklin will -

He'll be fine for me.

Joey: They could have done something if you hadn't meddled.

Alex: Text me when you land.

Uh, if you want.

Alex: So I know you're safe. TJ: How sweet.

I don't care

how late it is. I’ll be up - TJ: Playing video games.

Waiting for your message.

Joey: Oh no. Not good. Alex: Wait.

Alex: Sorry. That didn't come out right.

No, it's fine.

And sure, I'll text you.

Joey: How sweet.

TJ: To check on Franklin.

She's just pitiful.

I don't think you're pitiful.

I think you've come a long way.

And I've -

We've ... got a lot more work to do.

His plane probably got delayed.

Don't worry. He'll text tomorrow.

Go to sleep my little human.

(music)

(music fades)

Brian (on TV): It's a three day virtual workshop

created by God

and designed for those misguided humans,

those misguided humans out there -

to give them a purpose in their life.

Alex: Humans?

To become

a productive member Joey: Shit. Brian: of your community

before you die and realize you were a waste of space.

That's not the script I gave you.

Brian: It's designed for four men who spend

your valuable time playing video games.

Brian: Avoiding responsibility

when there are tasks to complete,

opportunities to improve your life.

Brian: When you could make change,

to find a partner,

to share a home,

your future,

your bed.

It's designed for gay men in their twenties

who need inspiration-uh,

structure-uh,

organization-uh,

self-discipline.

Alex: That sounds like me.

It starts tomorrow night

after work hours.

Write this information down.

Write it

down.

(Music)

Brian (on computer): Day two.

Brainstorming with Brian. For a Better You.

Brought to you by Hot Cookie

San Francisco.

(Music)

Alex: Wow. You’re wearing all white.

Joey: How did you get him to buy - What did you do?

Hunter: I just bought it.

TJ: He bought it himself.

Joey: Riiiiiiight.

Well, how was your trip?

Hunter: It was exhausting.

Alex: I bet.

I was a bit worried when I hadn't heard from you,

but makes sense since you’re too busy to - Hunter: No, I couldn’t get a signal.

Oh.

Yeah, I tried every day, Alex.

Two days - my phone wouldn't even turn on.

It was so weird. Joey: Mmmmm.

Joey: Wonder why. TJ: Damn mountains kept blocking the signal.

Hunter: I'm so sorry. TJ: Lie.

It's fine.

I was busy myself.

Joey: Lie. Hunter: It's not that I was busy.

It was just that ...

Can I take you to dinner tonight?

TJ: What the fuck? Hunter: If you're,

if you're free. Joey: We're free.

Dinner?

Hunter: Yeah.

To thank you for taking care of Franklin

And to get to know you a little bit better.

Alex: Are you - TJ: No. Alex: asking me out

TJ: Oh hell no. Alex: On a date?

Joey: Yes. Hunter: Yeah,

I guess I am.

You know, while I was away, I did a lot of thinking,

and I had a lot of time to myself that a phone. TJ: Damn!

And I kind of missed you.

Alex & Joey: Kinda.

And I, um,

I realize I don't spend enough time with you.

And I work too much and I enjoy seeing you.

Hunter: I like your smile.

TJ: He's a Dentist. He's supposed to.

Hunter: It’s so good to see you and hear your voice again

Um.

To be honest,

I was a bit disappointed I didn’t hear from you,

and I was really looking forward to hearing from you.

He said he was sorry.

Hunter: I'm sorry, Alex. But that was not my fault.

I'm sure it wasn't.

But I'm glad in a way

that I didn't hear from you.

TJ: Huh?!

Joey: Huh?!

Days before you left, I started to feel like,

well,

like I was doing things, making changes

to please others.

I think to impress you.

Maybe.

But, I mean, this changes

these calendars, storage bins, color coded Post-it notes.

They aren't me.

And frankly, they're stressing me out.

I mean, they help me

stay organized, sure, but

they aren't helping me find my purpose.

And they certainly aren't helping me be who I am.

I'm not organized.

I'm not perfect.

I’m forgetful and I’m messy.

And sometimes I just want to stay in order a pizza and play video games all night.

And I - TJ: waste. Alex: I want to be okay with that.

As you should be.

I really envy you, Alex.

You envy me?

Yeah.

You can make choices

that I can't.

I've got this image to maintain.

Pressure from my family, from my friends,

to be this perfect guy that they all expect me

to be.

A goddamn dentist.

Talk about stress.

I'm sorry.

Look, please have dinner with me tonight.

But if not tonight, then later in the week -

Alex: I need to check my calendar.

Joey: We're free.

Hunter: I'll text you. Alex: (chuckle)

Thanks, Alex,

for, uh, helping me out.

Anytime.

Come on, Franklin.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

We worked so hard to get a date with him.

Now, what are we going to do?

So now what?

(Music)

(Text Message) (Music)