Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Steve Odekirk, and I'd like to welcome you to our very first Thumb Theater

presentation entitled Thumb Wars.

Here at Owen Entertainment, we're very proud to be a part of Thumbs.

I must admit, the first time I met one of the Thumbs, I was horrified.

I found them to be freaky, disturbing creatures.

But over time, well, let's just say, they're now my best friends in the whole wide world.

With that said, there's someone I'd like you to meet.

Hi!

This is Thummy.

I love that monkey!

You're not alone there.

Now please, enjoy Thumb Wars.

We know we will!

If there were Thumbs in space, and they got mad at each other, there would be...

Yeah.

Watch out for that word.

We've been hit.

Oh, my.

This way, Beep Boop Beeps.

Hurry, hurry.

Beep Boop Beep.

Oh, they'll kill us for sure.

We need a bargaining chip.

Something we can trade for our lives.

Beep Boop Beep.

Beep Boop Beep.

Yes.

Oh, the princess.

What a marvelous idea.

Beep Boop Beep.

Beep Boop Beep.

Beep Boop Beep.

Princess Bonhead, are you all right?

We fight to the death.

No.

You must live to reign over all of us,

carrying on the great tradition of royalty,

superiority by birthright.

Quickly, go and take these droids.

I will stay here and be killed in your place.

Fine.

Pick it up and move it, yes.

Come on, come on, come on, quickly.

This way.

Waiting to be killed.

Waiting to be killed.

Come on, come on, quickly.

This way.

Don't worry, princess.

We'll keep you completely safe.

So, uh-huh.

Black Helmet Man.

Well, what have we here?

Princess Bonhead of the Thumbelian Resistance.

Isn't his voice amazing?

You'll never get away with this, Black Helmet Man.

You are bad.

You are bad and we are good.

Your badness will be the end of you,

and our goodness will be our triumph.

Bad is bad.

Good is good.

Bad, bad, good, bad.

Good, good, bad, good.

Bad, good.

The power is strong in you,

as is your silly gibberish.

This is the droid that promised to deliver her.

What?

Oh, Bonhead's onto us.

Let's get out of here.

Whoa.

Ooh, yes.

Ooh, I think I'm going to be sick.

Shall we go after them?

No.

That pod will take them straight to the desert

and the freaky little hooded creatures

will capture and sell them.

Oh.

Now it is time for you to turn to the male side of the thumb.

Never.

Then you will die.

Ah, oh, there's my trickney.

Well, I'm at a complete loss as to where we are.

Ooh, look over there.

Some freaky little hooded creatures.

I'm sure they'll help us.

Hello.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Ooh.

You're becoming a fine specimen of a man,

Loke Groundrunner.

Well, a lot of good that does me here.

I want to join the Thumbelian Resistance.

I want to make something of myself,

be of use to someone.

Well, you're plenty useful here, Loke.

The harvest is soon, and you'll be getting help.

I bought a couple of droids today

from the freaky little hooded creatures.

The big one is sort of effeminate and annoying,

and I think the little one has an amputee inside.

Harvest, harvest, harvest.

All you care about is the stupid harvest.

You don't care about me.

You don't care about the universe.

You don't know who I am inside.

You never have.

I'm going to run away and never come back ever.

What a whiner that kid is.

I'm going to pee on your head, dear.

Crying is for little girls, babies,

and men who just had their ears ripped off.

Who are you?

I am Ooby-Doo Banooby.

And I have the silliest name in the galaxy.

What's your middle name?

Scooby-Dooby.

Ooby-Doo Scooby-Dooby Banooby?

One and the same.

And you must be the crybaby.

No one here understands me.

What do you want, anyway?

I've come to retrieve my digits.

Well, your digits?

But my uncle just bought those.

Man, you are a whiner.

Come, the answers will be revealed.

Come on now, you've lost it.

Oh, my.

She's beautiful.

Eww.

She must not have known it was recording.

Perhaps we should turn this off.

No, she's stopping.

Ooby-Doo Banooby, I pray this message finds you well.

Black Helmet Man is building a big, dangerous weapon thing.

I've been captured, but I'm holding key information

that the Resistance needs in order to prepare a frontal attack.

Help me, Ooby-Doo Banooby.

Ooby-Doo, Ooby-Doo, Ooby-Doo Banooby.

Wait, scan back.

What do you see?

What do you see?

Oh, dear.

Ah.

I want to help more than anything,

but my Uncle Soondead and Aunt Gunabyte

need me to help with the harvest.

Wait a second.

What are their names?

Soondead and Gunabyte?

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, they've been clipped.

Oh.

Who would have done such a thing as this?

This is the work of Black Helmet Man.

Who?

Your father.

I mean, a man whose father, a father away man.

Whoever he is, he must be bad.

I will go with you and fight.

Oh, big sacrifice.

Everyone you know is dead.

Glad you could tear yourself away.

All right.

If you're going, we must do this correctly.

Touch your tongue to mine.

What?

Your tongue, touch it to mine.

Why?

To make it all official.

To make what official?

No, all of it.

Never mind, then, we're off.

Lord Helmet Man, after our last victory,

we have all but wiped out the resistance.

Not good enough.

I will allow no rest

until the Thumbelium is totally neutralized.

Excuse me, Black Helmet Man,

but our super space station can easily thwart

any actions of the Thumbelium.

Do not underestimate the power of the thumb.

Oh, don't try to scare us

with your ooby-dooby magic talk, Helmet Man.

You're, I'm a horrifying warlock,

and I'm going to get you with my mystic potions talk.

Sickens me.

I laugh at you and your,

I'm a frightening wizard threats of hostility.

Why don't you gather some frog legs and eyes of a newt

and conjure up a potion that can get you your face back

and perhaps make you one mere ounce less pathetic

than you truly are?

Or not.

Any other comments?

I have a question.

Why do we all speak in British accents

when we're from outer space and there is no Britain?

In Nidua, we should be able to find a pilot

that can take us to Daldar.

Remember, Nidua houses the sludge of the universe.

If you're wearing any female clothing underneath,

keep it tucked in.

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

So I tells him, if you're going to be calling the shots,

you're going to be calling them from Alpha Centauri VI.

You always tell him right, you tell him straight,

you tell him straight up, you're the master, you're the master.

All right, you thumbs, let's get down to business.

I'm Han Duet. This is Crunchy.

A one-armed man killed my wife, Sabrina, a working girl.

Now I'm a fugitive and in clear and present danger.

I should be presumed innocent,

but they're playing Patriot games with me.

Regarding Henry, Blade Runner, Air Force One.

I'm sorry, what was that last part?

Look, I'm trying to keep a low profile.

I owe Gobba the Butt a lot of money and he's right over there.

Suko to lobi.

Maka yaba.

Ho-ho-ho!

If you need a pilot, I'm the best there is.

My ship's the fastest there is.

But it's going to cost you a lot.

I don't take money, only girly giggles.

What do you mean?

You've got to giggle like a girl.

Half now and half when we reach Daldar.

What if we should choose not to?

Looks like you don't have much choice.

That'll do for the advance. Let's go.

And now, Princess, the time has come for you to share with me

the location of the Thumbelian Resistance.

I'll never tell you a thing.

That is a bad attitude.

I think perhaps we could clip it in the bum.

Hmm.

Beep-boop-beep.

How did you ever get such a name?

Hmm.

What? Oh!

There was a couple of loose bolts and one thing led to another and...

Well, there she is, gents.

Hand's hand.

I'm not flying in that.

I want my giggle back.

That's it!

Come on!

Ooh!

Okay, hang on. We're going to warp.

Whoa!

You managed to endure the clippers quite well, Princess.

I needed a trim.

Commander Cuticle.

That's my home planet, Daldar.

Not for long. You may fire when ready.

No! You can't!

All right, I'll tell you.

The Thumbbellion resistance base is on Alduni.

Now leave Daldar be.

You said you wouldn't blow it up if I told you.

But I didn't say anything about spinning it.

No!

Spin the planet!

Let's play spin the planet, Princess!

Spin it faster!

Whoa!

Two...

What is it, Ooby?

I can feel the wailing of thousands of nauseous souls.

The dim side of the thumb is gaining in strength.

Power of the thumb?

Don't believe any of that crap, kid.

How far are we from Daldar, anyway?

Not much farther. Should be just beyond that moon.

That's no moon.

Oh, sorry. Let me hike these up.

What is it, Crunchy?

Am I the only one that he creeps out?

No. Me, too, at first.

What is that? Is that a space station?

I've lost control. They're pulling us in!

No!

Well, Ooby Doob, we meet again.

Give up, Black Helmet Man. You cannot triumph.

We'll see about that.

Zoom!

You're growing weak, old man.

Come on, Ooby!

Tell me, are you still as easily tricked as you were before?

Not on your life, sonny.

Touchdown!

No!

No!

Run, Luke.

Ooby Doob? You're still here?

Yes, in spirit.

That's kind of creepy.

Run.

Okay. Come on!

I escaped somehow. Let's go.

I can't believe he's gone.

I'm not gone, really.

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Thank you for saving me.

Who are you?

Hey, don't let the fact that he's more manly than me cloud your thinking.

Go, Ooby, go!

Go, Ooby, go!

Go, Ooby, go!

Go, Ooby, go!

Good idea. We'll wait inside that meteor until things cool off.

Funny. I feel I'm supposed to be here.

Who's there?

Show yourself.

Who are you?

I am a puppet.

I'm sorry?

Hand goes into puppet.

Arm follows hand.

Hand manipulates mouse.

Hand manipulates mouse.

I'm not following.

Beneath the floor, the man does control me.

Yes.

I feel in my spirit that I am to train under you,

so I, too, can be a thumb master.

Train you, will I?

Train you, I will.

Yes.

Step one, touch your tongue to mine.

Reach out with your inner feelings.

Use the power of the thumb.

I think you've blocked that one.

That's enough. Enough it is.

Am I a master now?

Sure. A master you are.

Yes.

Great. Then I will go lead the Thumbelian Resistance to victory.

What we have in the Thumb Star is the greatest weapon of mass destruction.

The universe has ever seen.

Luckily, they included a button right here.

It'll blow the entire thing up.

That's odd. Why would they include a button that could destroy their entire station?

You got me. If I was designing it, I would have left that out.

How will we find this button, sir?

That's the best part. They built this corridor that leads right to it.

You just zip in, follow a straight line, and fire.

Why would they do that?

You got me. But isn't it great?

But Hand, you have to come with us.

No thanks, kid. This isn't my battle.

And I thought we meant something to each other.

Hey, look, I don't get clipped for anybody but myself.

I don't care how good your buns are. I got my giggles, and I'm out of here.

Be careful, Loke.

Don't worry, Bunhead.

Okay, bums. Let's give them hell!

Shoot'em up! Shoot'em up!

Wow!

Oh. Oh, yes, that's the spot.

Feels like there's a lot in there.

I'm telling you, if you keep Mr. Anger all pet up inside,

sooner or later he's just gonna squeeze his way right out.

It's the, uh, the Resistance Lord Halberd.

They're making a frontal assault.

How convenient. Ready my fist fighter.

Oh, thank you!

I've got three fist fighters coming from my left.

Copy, stray dog.

I don't think I'm stray dog.

Copy that, red rooster.

I don't think I'm red rooster either.

No problem, nasty butler.

I'm ending this transmission.

I see it. I'll take a shot.

Ouch!

We're losing fighters.

We've got to get to that button.

Where's the corridor?

I see it. I'll take a shot.

Okay, closing in.

Almost there.

A little closer.

A little closer.

A little closer.

You know, if I had to do this all over again,

I think I would have entered this corridor a lot closer to the button.

You want some? Come and get it!

Yeah!

Okay, somebody cover me.

I'm going in!

We've got company, swollen ostrich.

Oh, man, it's you.

Thank you.

The Thumb destroyed this one.

We've got company, swollen ostrich.

Oh, man, it's you.

Thank you.

This ends here and now, Black Helmet Man.

Use your hate.

Join me on the male side of the Thumb.

It is your destiny.

Look inside.

You'll see the truth.

I'm feeling something strange inside.

What are you doing to me?

Your rightful place is at my side.

You know it is true.

What do you mean?

What does all this mean?

Look, I am your mother!

No!

Now Mama's gonna teach you a lesson in manners.

Wait till your father gets home!

Okay, kid, she's all yours.

I'm going to trust my feelings and use the power of the Thumb.

Use the instrument panel, Luke.

What?

The instrument panel. That's what it's there for.

Advanced weaponry designed to hit tiny targets.

Okay, okay.

I've got to take care of business.

Out! Out! Out!

Ooh, hot!

Whoo-hoo!

They're wonderful!

Yes, we did it!

Oh, Phil, thank you!

Whoo-hoo!

Remember, the Thumb will be with you.

Always.

Whoo-hoo!

You're welcome.

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

♪♪

♪♪

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