Original subtitles

The first time ever I kissed your mouth and felt the earth

move in my hand like the trending heart of a captive bird.

In the beginning, you know, I realized I was sort of coquettish, but I didn't

realize I didn't think that this man would use it.

Where it would go.

Where it would go.

I just had this feeling that no harm would ever be done to me.

No harm.

The

first time ever I lay with you and felt your heartbeat close to mine.

I thought that joy would feel the earth.

Last till the end of time, my love.

The hand last till the end of time.

I don't know why I'm doing this film now.

Whether it's just like it happened already.

I don't know.

I feel that this is so close to what had happened that I'm not really acting.

I'm wondering like I came to this film voluntarily

that I voluntarily seeked out in that sort of abuse.

from a man.

Me too.

I mean, I went to that too.

See, I thought I wanted to do it because it was meaningful to a lot of other people.

And also to understand what had happened more deeply because I shut it.

You know, I shut it up and closed it up.

and I don't really know.

Really, what the consequences were.

You're going to say something, Jim?

The only question that I see that you might ask is could you have done something

to prevent it?

All I remember is fighting.

And then thinking I'm like in the middle of nowhere and I know where I am.

I can't get out of here.

If I leave here, I'll be right back.

Here I'll be raped and murdered on the street.

If I... I mean, to me, suddenly I realized that this guy

I was dealing with something I'd never dealt with before.

Someone was not going to pay any attention to me or my wishes or my feelings.

People say there's no such thing as rape.

My mother told me that all my life.

There's no such thing as rape because you do it.

You get yourself into that situation.

So I, my motives in doing this film were okay.

I really want to deal with that.

I really want to confront that.

What's a prophylactical look like?

A prophylactic.

I saw one one.

Curly, curly and joe.

It blew it up like a balloon.

You left it on Mr. Dictor's desk.

I thought it was a balloon until Doris told me what it was.

Mr. Farber might be listening.

Mother Farber, yes.

Last week when I was coming out of the bathroom after lights out, I saw him

crouched down listening at Nancy and Leah's door.

I think I hear something.

Martha, if the atomic bomb fell, what would be your last act?

I don't know.

Oh, I do.

I go find a guy and get fucked.

Wouldn't you?

I don't do those kind of things, Ann.

Oh, I certainly would.

And you know, whoa, I fuck.

Gee, I think that Mr. Farber is the most gorgeous young man I've ever seen.

You know what I do?

I try to imagine him with his clothes off.

Oh, yeah.

And then I just sit in bed and think about him.

Oh, gee, if the atomic bomb fell, I know I certainly got him.

Have I couldn't have him?

Give me the door knob.

If I can't have the door knob, give me the bed post.

I want to get fucked.

I want to get fucked.

A lot of people brought in their own experience.

I mean, I've never had so much fun sitting there.

When all the girls from the girls dorm were assembled.

And we were all telling different stories about our high school experiences.

You know, it was very much again like what happened.

Michelle was a very different person.

She comes from a very different era.

I mean, like, you know, she's from the 70s.

And we were from 50s or something.

That's exactly right.

She was very physical.

It's from me during the film.

She won a very physical help.

You know, that was what she wanted me to do.

It was very hard for me to do because you and I had never been physical.

In fact, that was, you know, one of the things we never did.

Say, listen, Martha.

Did you know that Cindy's going around telling everybody

that she's going on a weekend with you and currently?

No, no!

Oh, no!

You should travel as fast around here.

I was just asked today.

Anyway, I'll need my parents' permission first

and probably my stepfather won't allow me to go.

Well, I just thought you had to know in case it wasn't true.

Yeah.

You can't believe anything she says.

Thanks, anyway, bye.

Good night.

Good night for nine.

You're really going on a weekend with curly and cindy?

Brian and West Virginia are coming, too.

West Virginia, puke.

I know.

I don't like them either, but...

curly intrigues me.

He's 21, did you know that?

No.

Seems like you don't tell me anything anymore.

Oh... Well, there's going to be a big party at one of Crowley's friend's house.

I've never been to a New York party before, and I'm really excited about that.

Then I'll stay at Cindy's and the guys will stay at Curlies.

It's in two weeks and I'll tell you everything in detail afterwards.

Hey!

You know, that's the weekend.

Richard's coming to visit me from the Naval Academy.

Great!

Did you know he calls me Sunshine?

Oh, no!

I have found that a lot of women...

Not a lot.

Many women that I have been slept with have...

They gave me the impression that they wanted to be raped.

And I know a lot of women whose fantasies are to be forcefully taken.

Okay, you can have a fantasy of being taken forcefully.

And that has absolutely nothing to do with actually being taken forcefully.

I think.

Because some rapes are just guys with a knife on the street, they can pick anybody.

I mean, it's...

But the problem is that because you may have had a fantasy, or you may have read

about it somewhere, or you may even feel your

adolescent sexuality blossoming inside of you.

You feel somehow that you caused it.

That this thing is a projection of your own feelings.

So that you feel guilty.

Then when other people say, oh, well, didn't you enjoy it?

Didn't you enjoy it just a little bit?

Even a little bit?

You feel... You deny it.

But you feel an inkling, just a little inkling of responsibility.

The only deal gives us fear, then honey to worry.

The time that we touch up is empty.

And every night, we're in the sun to hold down.

Oh, it's good to be on the road again.

I tell you.

I take a ride.

It needs to be in my parents' choice.

Right!

Oh, the party doesn't start for a couple hours.

Hey, we got time to drive around and show a West Virginia month at the States, Brian.

Yeah, I'd like that.

Maybe you go to my brother's place.

Yeah, you got her brother.

Is he going to be there, Brian?

It doesn't matter.

I've got the keys.

Are we going to get some beer?

Definitely.

Got to have some beers.

We can go there.

There's no little music.

Relax.

It's a couple of cold ones.

Hey, Cindy, we haven't called your parents yet.

Shouldn't we let them know that we're here and we're going to be late?

I don't care.

You can go from the place, right?

Yeah.

Let's get some beer first.

Oh, I want some slow gin.

Really, what's slow gin?

You drink slow gin, don't you?

All girls like slow gin.

Slow gin and Coke.

I drink corn yet.

It's just like don't yet.

Corn yet can Coke, except you don't get drunk.

You're making that up.

Oh, it's a fact.

I owe my deal with the fact.

This is cruel you.

Hey, current, this is the place to get some slow gin.

Oh, current, you've got your ID.

I've got my ID.

Have you ever seen me carded in your life?

He's 21.

Listen to this punk.

He can't even get into 18-year-old joints.

Come on, give me some money.

I told you I haven't got much money.

Girls too, fuck it over.

I don't have any change.

Right?

Is that face you're supposed to be?

I collect plenty.

So you join after the big dance again?

No, uh, don't have any bills.

I get back that face you had so few years ago.

I tell you what.

If so, then try happening.

Virginia.

You and Brian go down to the corner store, pick

up a six-pack of Coke and two cases of beer.

I'll go get the slow jam.

I don't drink Coke.

Virginia.

Virginia.

Slow jam and Coke.

Cognac and Coke.

Just buy the fucking Coke.

All right, I need some money.

So what else is it?

He's getting to be a pain in the end.

Don't talk like that, curly.

Here, virgin.

Holy, jump him.

I mean, you really want me to take all these

damn pennies down and get a case of Coke.

We'll love you, man.

I can't wait.

Come on, mom.

Come on.

I'm going to find that special guy.

One minute for love and a share.

We'll bring you joy for make me cry.

Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you.

Are you sure your parents aren't going to worry about us?

No.

Look at her after the party.

It's okay.

So why do you collect pennies?

Because I feel someday I'm going to have an emergency and I won't have any money.

But all of a sudden I'll remember, I've been collecting pennies.

So I see.

You like curly?

Well, thank you, it's cute.

He's now the sort of guy I'm used to going out with.

He's very different from me.

So I'm a bit curious about it.

He's a pretty nice guy.

He's nice to me.

But with other people he changes completely.

Now sometimes it gets pretty violent.

What do you mean?

No.

It gets crazy.

It's nothing.

He's cute.

But I'm fine.

You girls talkin' about me again.

No, we weren't talking about you.

He's a slow gen.

What?

You like it?

Hey, coming up.

I hope the girl's like from Coke.

No.

Come on.

Brightheart will.

Come here.

You did a good job, Burch.

Yep, that's why I'm going to college.

Really, Burch?

Did you hear that, Cindy?

Virginia's going to college.

What college are you going to, Virginia?

My brother goes to this place.

I'm back later.

It's a junior college.

Oh, that must be some college.

What, uh... What are we tard in?

Can't stop.

Just one brother.

I think that's wonderful, Virginia.

I will bet the love.

You like the slow gen?

Sure.

You want some, Cindy?

Hey, Kermit.

Can I have a beer?

Sure, Burch.

You can have two.

Hey, Burch.

Ready for another one?

Okay, everybody.

You better like the door.

This is a tough neighborhood.

Damn.

A friend of mine got his face cut up and do a million pieces right over there.

Jack O'Rourke.

Toughest guy ever met in my life.

Used to run his head into quick walls.

It's a fact.

It's not bullshit.

It's a true story.

We called him watermelon head, because his head got all swelled up.

It's a fact.

What do you think about, Virginia?

Oh, Virginia has an advance to that stage yet.

But he is going to Beckley, Jr. College for he retarded.

You know, let's get something straight up.

Hey, there's a cop car.

Okay, act natural.

Everybody keep cool.

Very cool.

Virginia, stop laughing.

Sorry, guys.

You have to interrupt the opos and keep you into the latest computer.

Casa will refuse.

All clear.

You think I could do him?

Yes.

You let the air see you.

And Bunny's in your dorm room.

Yes, she's in my dorm.

What of it?

You know about Bunny, don't you?

Well, she's got this problem.

She likes football teams, baseball teams, soccer teams, large groups of men.

All at once, Brian knows he's been there.

Even Virginia had a little piece on this man.

You're 16, man.

How can they skip to a break?

I guess because I study very hard.

You can't get knowledge from folks.

You get a lot more from life.

I agree with that.

Experience.

There's always the best teacher.

Anywhere.

I'm a self-educated woman.

You are.

You're self-educated?

And you're a woman.

I could tell that right off the way he's saying those songs.

Especially the one about...

Who's David's song, Brian?

The one with the heart beating.

The first time.

Yes, in that.

Oh, no, I couldn't.

Oh, come on.

I don't have my guitar.

Virginia can play it on his meat with someone.

Hey, Curly, you know what my brother plays?

Spring, spring, spring, spring, spring, spring, spring, spring.

All right.

Just say the words about the heart beating.

The first time ever I kissed your mouth, I felt the earth move my hand.

Like the trembling heart of a captive bird.

You've got a nice mouth.

You're in there part about...

Right now, man.

Yeah, do the part about lying down in bed.

The first time ever I lay with you and felt your heart so close to my heart.

Yeah, that's it.

This is the part you're going to like, Cindy.

I thought a joy would fill the earth and last till the end of time.

You do that real nice.

That song means a lot to me.

Also, I hope to the man I sing it to.

You like, uh, older men?

No!

I like, old men who've been down a long road.

Uh, how about 21-year-olds?

21 is just the middle of the road.

I like your song, Martha.

I like the part about laying down in bed.

You're taking that out of the context of the song, huh?

She means you're not thinking of it in a framework of the story, right?

It's not just laying down.

It's making love.

I know that.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Not if it's going to offend or hurt me.

Jesus!

I tell you what.

If it does, you tell me I'll retract the question.

Have you ever... Yeah.

I don't want to ask that.

What does the captive birds have allowed?

Isn't that something about a bird in the hand is worth two in your bushes?

Hey, turn left here and it's two blocks.

Guys, here.

Come in here and, uh, Brian and West Virginia are carrying the beer.

Okay, and we'll get the beer later.

You put the beer down about here, each of you guys are somewhere here.

I'm just giving you an outline and then we'll just improvise.

This is the first room.

This is the first room.

Cindy and Brian are sitting down there.

And Brian, you're the fair man, so you've got your can open up.

Carly, you and you and Martha stay out about in this area, but let's see what

happens about that room.

Eventually, when you're finished in here, when these people are busy, when West

Virginia is into his TV, and Brian and Cindy are into making out, you go through

the hole and into the other room.

Brian pulses to go right through the window.

You remember it's my time?

Well, still lights.

The entire state building will be lit up and everything.

We'll do what we've done before and just try your way.

I mean, I think that you've read the script.

You have the basic idea.

Think I'd rather try it out with just the improvisation first and no scripts.

Okay.

And Michelle, remember that story you told?

Yeah.

What, again, did this guy do?

I mean, this is something that happened to him.

Right.

He got out of the car.

Everyone follows.

He stands in the hallway.

He says, no woman is going to pass me without kissing me.

So the two women kissed him a bit long when she was.

And I just did there not knowing what to do.

And he said, well, come on, come on.

You're a woman.

And there was something very sinister in his voice.

And I just went and packed him.

That's a good idea.

The packed legs.

I think that's a good idea.

And then he said, hey, that's not how a woman's supposed to kiss.

And I went, you know, I'm not a woman.

Okay.

Now, look at, hit it this way.

The kiss, you come in.

Virginia sits down right away, starts.

You sit down with her and there's a little play here.

You're looking around the place.

Cruising, right?

And fairly quickly after that, which should...

Let's see, should Virginia do his little laugh thing or

something first before you to get to the carol business?

I think so, because it gets you into a jovial mute.

So then you're cruising.

He gets into either magazine if you want to do that.

Then you ask him for a beer.

Great.

Hey, Ray.

I guess he's lying here.

Yeah, I can understand why he wouldn't be here.

Come on, nothing.

Come here.

Let's give him a kiss.

Let's have a kiss.

Let's have a kiss.

I'm not going to let you go home.

What's your kiss going on?

Let's give him a kiss.

Come on, honey.

What's that going to do?

Come on.

I don't hear you.

Yeah, your brother, uh, a beatnik?

Looks pretty nice.

Virginia, vice able to leave you in here.

Come on.

Fascinating.

Did I have to kill mom?

I thought your brother was going to be here.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know what it is exactly.

Hey, Curly.

Curly, look at that.

She got a little close.

I'll look at that.

It's in her head.

I love to say as well.

Come on, girl.

What's in her head?

Don't forget.

Give me my ring back.

I'm dry.

I need a beer.

You need a beer, will you?

I need to get yourself.

Because I'm living in that life.

I'd long dry.

It's bad for my neck.

I've heard it playing soccer.

Where's my beard?

Sorry, Carol.

Hey, Brian.

Come here, then.

What do you want?

I want to talk to you.

Why don't you come over here?

Why don't you shut the fuck up?

Hey, Brian.

Come here, man.

I want to talk to you.

Let me go.

I want to talk to you.

I don't like being caught that name.

You know that right school?

Hi.

I'm free.

Yes, pisses and sickness on for the guy's school.

Brian, I'm going to rearrange your face in a few minutes.

Virginia, I think we need a laugh.

Make us laugh, Virginia.

What do you want?

What do you want?

What do you want me to do, Charlie?

Right.

You're right.

Virginia.

I think you can fit in that glass side.

I can ask Booth over there.

I bet you good.

Just the same, man.

Physics.

Come here.

Just give me a fresh egg.

I'll have peanuts in there, Brian.

Oh, there are some peanuts in here.

Come here.

When you look at the mommy's on that one.

I think things should settle down.

In other words, you should be paying.

You should start paying less attention to them and more attention to Martha.

Don't you think so?

Yeah.

I mean, you know, you're that after all, this is a purpose.

Don't.

Well, this was in a sense.

Mm-hmm.

To get him.

Right here.

To my old buyers.

She's upset.

And I was going to... You're being nice.

I was being nice to him.

And then I got carried away.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, Brian.

You didn't even know... No, you don't have to.

Don't do it because I'll do it if you want it.

Oh, good Lord.

Are you really good?

What was in that damn bottle?

Oh, yeah!

I don't know the bathroom.

What's the bathroom?

Veterans in the hallway.

No, Virginia, don't go out there.

Ain't you?

Hey.

Hey, you're away.

Oh, sir.

He is sitting up there.

Oh, man.

Oh, God.

Oh, geez.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, wait a second.

Oh, there's two things.

Just curly.

You've got to get him off of it.

That's something.

I don't know if you usually get the same.

Oh, no.

So if you do it, it should be just a false alarm, I think.

And Cindy, you should say, oh, he always gets... Oh, okay.

You should stay with him.

Oh, you're too busy.

You're really too busy.

I'll take care of him.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

I need you to look really good at this all the time.

I don't care.

You just don't take the bag away.

I got to... You don't feel too good?

Oh, I feel lousy.

Okay.

Go ahead.

I'll take care of my night.

I know what he needs.

Well, I think I should be alone with you.

No, if you get sick in front of girls, it gets embarrassed.

Oh, I feel like I need you to see.

What?

I need this bed, man.

You can't stay here.

Yeah.

What?

I'm not going in there.

You can lay down in the corner of there, okay?

Come on, but do me a favor, though.

Well, I'll bring the bag.

You can stay with the bag, okay?

Oh, I need the bed, man.

How am I supposed to get this fucking action if you're going to lay in this bed?

Yeah, we're pretty fast standing up.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

There you go.

Yeah, there you go.

Come on.

Oh, no!

Hey, don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it, man.

Don't worry about it, man.

Goodness.

Greatness.

Let's go down in here.

Oh.

Oh, my gosh.

I might have that over here in the corner.

Oh, baby.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, it's all nice.

I don't think it's all good.

You don't feel better here.

It is right here.

It's right next to you.

I think my kudos.

More on here.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

They don't hit me.

I'll take care of them.

I'm attached.

That happens every week.

You'll lose nothing tight.

Oh, no.

There you go.

I'll just lay down and relax.

You got to get ready because we're going to go to the party in about half an hour.

It's dying.

My thing's going to be okay.

He just... Oh, my God.

I can't hear him.

I can't hear him.

It'd be cool.

No.

Come here, man.

I want to talk to you about something.

Have you seen this one?

See that?

I'm not going to attack you.

Don't worry.

I'm very uncomfortable here.

How come?

I feel it's a trap.

A trap.

I'd like to leave and be with, you know, some other people.

Why don't you give me a kiss?

I don't want that.

You know, I'm just not going to move for anything.

As long as I'm here.

Give me a little kiss.

You feel a lot better.

And then we'll go to the party.

What do you say?

You're being so friendly.

I know of lots of instances when I was, you know, in high school and whatever.

Where technically a woman was raped because she

wasn't voluntarily giving of herself, right?

It's supposed to be a mutual thing.

But...

It wasn't, you know, necessarily a malicious thing on the guy's part.

It was just that this is what he had to have at the moment.

So he didn't...

It didn't.

Whatever he did was okay.

But, you know, I think that kind of rape happens a lot.

Does that make sense?

In other words... Yeah, but how can you say that he had to have?

But he had to have it.

Well, how do you... How do you feel if I say...

I don't... I just don't want... You know, I'm not ready or not.

No.

I don't want it.

Well, the reaction to a lot of kids is, yeah, sure you do.

You want it.

You can enjoy it.

I'm going to make you feel good.

Yeah, that's what... That's rape.

But not in his mind's eye.

I mean, he doesn't think I'm raping somebody.

I'm just doing what has to be done.

That's all.

I mean, this is what I have to do.

But there's a difference between a man who really digs a woman, a boy who really digs

a girl and wants to seduce her and gets good feelings from that.

And a guy who has to have something.

And we're dealing with a guy who has to have it

because he's had to have it several other times.

Yeah.

The problem for me is I've dealt and I've had experience with people who have done

that sort of... Let's call it adolescent rape.

Yeah.

The woman has not done...

It consented voluntarily and the guy has just forced his way on her.

And I know guys who are doing that and they're normal people for the most part.

But it's not going to... No, it's not.

It's not.

This is my dilemma now because I'm acting out of my friends.

Yeah, okay.

Instead of this guy who obviously is a deviant.

Yep.

I felt that curly had purpose.

I mean he was intense.

My cerebral inclination was to...

As soon as she popped in the room, grab her throw her down, rape her.

That's what I think curly probably did.

That's probably what this guy did.

But I reacted as I would react by sitting down and trying to, you know, wriggle

waggle and, you know, do that whole shmeal.

So I think that's maybe how we should deal with it.

I should just throw, just grab her and I say, come on, let me let you give me a kiss.

If she says no, I'll just grab her and throw her down.

Don't worry.

If you're ready to see if you want to get... Well, let's see.

You know, if I take it off her clothes, do you want me to try it?

Uh... What?

What?

What did you say?

No, I was just reacting to your... Oh, I think I'll just start.

And then we'll see what happens.

I don't want to play an end.

I don't want you to be working towards someone.

We can stop hearing.

Thank you.

So let's just go and see what happens.

What?

Why?

What?

What is that?

What do I talk about?

What is it?

I don't know.

What about anything?

I just want to talk.

Give me a kiss and real kiss.

And I like the one in the doorway.

I don't want to.

Is that going to hurt you so much to give me a kiss?

I think you want to.

Why would you be here if you didn't want to give me a kiss?

I came here to visit New York to go to the party and... To be with me.

To be with you doing these things and so far

we've not done anything that we had planned to do.

So I'm feeling very uncomfortable.

Why don't you just give me a fucking kiss?

You'll feel a lot better.

I guarantee it.

You're a woman, right?

A woman likes to kiss a man.

What's funny?

I don't like being laughed at, you know that.

I'm not laughing at you.

What the fuck are you laughing at?

I'm laughing at myself.

You just relax.

Come here.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Just relax.

Will you please fucking relax?

Please relax.

Please, what?

Just relax.

Get off of me.

Get off of me.

Give me a kiss, that's all.

I can't breathe.

Stop!

Just relax.

Just relax.

What the fuck are you so uptight about?

You hurt me, damn it.

Will I have to give you a kiss?

That's all I want.

I'm hurting my pelvis bone.

Why are you doing this?

Because I like you, that's why.

And you like me.

Otherwise you wouldn't be here, right?

You're gonna get me mad.

I'm not kidding.

I'm shit out now.

What's wrong?

I just... I, you know... have a connection to this.

You do.

That... I mean, it's such an aggressive thing anyway.

Yeah.

That... and frustration can be such a... such a powerful thing.

And for the aggression and the frustration to be in there.

I mean, you can just... I mean, I fucking wanted to hit you in the face.

I mean, I really did.

And I love Michelle, but...

I just... Is it something that's male?

Is it something that's me?

Is it a sickness that's... Because I've never... I mean, my big trip when I was in

high school was if a woman said, no.

Okay, no is the answer.

I'm not gonna have sleep.

You say, no, that's cool.

But I'm in this situation.

And she's saying, no.

And I'm gonna hit her.

Can you take your earrings off?

You afraid you're gonna hurt her?

I'm afraid I'm gonna rip them out of her ear.

with all this stupid stuff.

Oh, Jesus.

Maybe it's football, right?

Maybe it's sports when I was a kid.

You get... I felt like I was at this point when I used to play against this guy,

who was the biggest, strongest guy ever hit.

And he just fucking drive me up a wall.

And there was nothing I could do except hit

him with every ounce of strength I had in me.

And that's what I felt like in there, like... See, I did not feel that at all.

What did you... What do you mean?

I didn't feel that... Jim would hurt me.

Well, Jim felt like he would.

Well, I didn't feel that this man that was raping me wanted to hurt me.

You didn't?

I thought he... I thought he didn't know what he was doing.

And you told... I felt... I felt, you know, a lot of pity for him.

I realized that if I don't comply, I'll just, you know, he'll just kill me.

This is an acting problem.

Okay.

How do we get to the state where you relate to me as someone who's gonna kill

you instead of Jim who you've known for four years?

Yeah.

What can I do?

Physically hurt you.

Maybe if we just... I'll just try it.

Continue the struggle until you get exhausted and can't do it anymore.

Okay.

Do you want to do that?

I don't know.

I just... I feel like I have any control over... um... my life at this moment.

Well, you don't.

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

I have control over your life.

Please.

That's really dumb.

Why don't... why don't you give me a little kiss?

Oh, come on.

Why don't you come on?

Relax.

Okay.

If you let go of relax.

Lie down here next to me in your life.

Okay, would you let go?

Yeah.

I just want you to know that when you, um, press real hard, you know, on my own.

.. I don't press real hard.

Just leave out here in my life.

It doesn't give me any pleasure.

Okay.

Just want you to know.

Okay.

I just... All I want to do is kiss you, don't.

You don't want to be kissed?

No.

I just don't... at the moment.

I thought she was supposed to be a woman.

What does that got to do with it?

Women like to be kissed.

They like men to kiss them.

I like to be kissed.

Well, then, come here and kiss me.

I don't like to be kissed when I... when I don't feel like kissing.

Well, you'll like it once you start.

Just give me a kiss and get started.

Come on, I'm getting a little angry.

I think we have a problem.

I think we have two.

Well, just come here and give me a kiss.

Just lay down and relax and give me a kiss.

That's all I'm asking.

Okay?

Come on.

Why are you going to get me mad?

Now, just lay down and relax and give me a fucking kiss.

Just relax.

You're hitting my arms.

Just relax and I won't hurt your arms.

Why are you doing this?

Why are you doing this?

Because I want to make you feel good.

You're not.

Well, you will feel good.

You're hurting me.

You're hurting me.

Why do you want to hurt me?

I don't want to.

I'm not going to like it.

I don't want it so much.

I don't want it so much.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please.

I don't want to hurt you.

Not the next time you struggle, I'm going to hurt you.

Okay?

Fair enough.

Just relax.

Okay?

Fair enough.

Just relax.

Okay.

Just relax.

I told you.

My thought.

Okay?

All right.

Just lay down and close your eyes.

That's all.

And lay down and close your eyes.

I want to leave.

I'm going to go in a few minutes.

I want to leave now.

Please.

Okay.

Michelle, are you going to... Would you... All right.

That's just... This is going to be an...

I can't tell.

Yes.

That's right.

That's right.

That's right.

I mean, I think you got to the point where it got past

it, but now it's where you became... Gave up, don't you?

Michelle, she's going to struggle for a long time.

Yeah.

I don't want to.

I don't want to.

Make up, woman.

Adolescent, at least from a male point of view, adolescent sex is so tasteless.

I mean, it's so much involved with the accomplishment of the fact.

Right.

Number one, physical satisfaction is probably way down the line.

Right.

I mean, you know, the ego is so... The sexual

ego is so dominant for a male at that point.

I mean, like, in college too.

I mean, we'd go down and... We'd call girls

that were unattractive, but who fucked, right?

We'd call them pigs.

Let's go down to... College and pick up some pigs, you know.

We used to keep lists.

lists.

How many girls have you said?

How many of you fucked?

Oh, uh... That's it.

It's about 13.

We have a story and you made a story.

And you did things to have a story more than

for the actual thing that you were doing.

Well, you know, what happened to me was the next

several weekends later at a party, at a real party.

I found myself in a room with Curley's best friend that he'd obviously talked to.

And I was with, again, more people.

And so this guy started making passes at me.

and I fought him off.

I just said, look, I don't like you.

And you don't like me.

So let's just leave it like that.

And we just sat there.

Well, naturally, when we got back, because Curley was telling all these

stories, he went back and told everybody that he, you know, had me too.

And that's the rumors.

It wouldn't be beyond him to suggest that Virginia

go into the other room and give Martha a try.

I mean, she's primed.

I just had her.

She's ready to go, right?

OK.

So we're going to start from after.

Now, what did you say?

Oh, you didn't.

No, because I just... I was just lying there.

I mean, there was nothing.

I mean, he already stole my life force.

And I just felt like I was the living dead.

That I was... I mean, dying was...

not going to be worth anything because I had nothing to lose.

You know, it was all... it was over.

And I just felt like I was shit.

Place a shit.

Everything is shit.

Get up.

Place the shit on the shit.

You know, that's all.

You're an asshole.

You're an asshole.

Don't hit me, don't hit me.

Oh, golly, golly.

What are you doing?

I'm having a party, man.

It's a party time.

Come on, let's do something.

Let's do something.

Why don't we, uh... What?

Junior.

I'd like to get a little action, man.

What do you think?

The pump's all primed and ready.

What do you mean?

Colleen, uh... What?

Did he do that?

Just relax.

It's cool.

Why not?

You know, uh... Come on with me.

And, uh, say hello to mine.

She's ready.

She's in there.

She's lying on the bed.

Will you shut the fuck up, man?

We had a curry.

I was pulled on.

She made me a little disappointment.

Just met Johnson, but... Oh, come on.

Come on, come on.

We look early.

Maybe you just spent a night.

You can't get any flight here.

Don't go and curry.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Feast your eyes on that, will you?

Feast your eyes on it.

Don't do it.

You ain't crying, are you?

Kind of dirty, huh?

Like not there on the floor.

Don't check us all dirty.

Do you know why?

He did that to me?

Yeah, well, I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't.

Why'd you come into this room?

Made me.

Curly for curry made me.

Look, I don't want to do nothing tonight.

I ain't no good.

All right, Curly, pretty good.

Would you look at me fool like that?

Got a dammit?

I'm sorry.

Oh, did you just know cry?

No.

Martha.

Martha.

Don't cry.

Martha.

I'm not crying.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to say that.

I don't know.

I shouldn't have come along.

Why not?

Oh, hell.

This got sick.

All I'm good for is a laugh now, man.

No.

Not your bathroom right now.

We're poking out of this town.

Right, all right, all right.

I'm looking at her.

Excuse me, please.

Oh, I forgot something else.

She might be coming home.

Yeah, but you've been on chicken.

I know, but watch it.

Hi, Martha.

Hi, Fred.

You new glasses?

Oh, yeah.

Where are you going?

I'm going to class.

Oh.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure.

I've never told you this, but I really like your singing.

I think it's really terrific, you know.

You can get up and just sing in front of anybody.

Do you play an instrument, Fred?

Well, I play piano when I was little, but...

Oh, my god.

Oh, god, that's fine.

Oh, my god.

We're here.

It's OK, but not OK.

Okay, so anybody know who wrote this on the door?

Martha, how was your weekend?

Tell us all about Greenwich Village.

What is this on the door?

I do pretty angry if somebody wrote horror on my door.

Or who wrote this?

Oh, it's probably Mr. Barber.

Come on, you guys.

You obviously know something.

Martha's going to know she was in New York.

We were all at lunch and everybody was saying what a great time you learned.

Who's everybody?

Oh, Curley and Cindy were telling stories.

And Mike and Steve and Paul.

We just want to hear you in the story.

What did they say?

I could never repeat what they said.

I wouldn't want to start any rumors.

Wasn't that funny what Brian said about West Virginia?

We had a drink from the horse's mouth.

Nothing happened.

That's not what I heard.

Not what I heard, either.

Come on.

You know.

I don't know anything.

Doesn't Martha tell you everything?

Yeah.

She tells me the important stuff.

Tell us what happened.

We told him to get out of here.

Maybe she doesn't want us to know.

Okay, if you want us to believe Curley.

Will you get the fuck out of here?

I'm from Miss Martha.

Okay, okay.

You've accomplished your mission to go play your sick little game someplace.

Come on, ladies.

Let's go have some fun.

Do a snack!

What are you doing?

You're ready.

Generally, man.

Let's talk with you.

Uh, if it isn't Ms. Knucker, it's 1962.

Why do I feel you're not talking to me?

Give me a break, will you?

What if I'm pregnant?

I'm not sure, but, uh... I think that's your problem.

Isn't it?

What about that night?

What about that?

Curly's problem, I think, was, uh, he was uneducated.

Totally uneducated.

And I think that, uh... we all are.

That's why I like the idea of doing this film.

To a certain extent, it's... I think it's an educational film.

Uh... When he went in to rape this... When he went in to have this party...

He was uneducated on at least two levels.

One is, he thought that the woman wanted to have sex.

The girl wanted you, whatever, Michelle, whoever, wanted to have sex.

He thought he was uneducated.

He didn't know that... that she didn't.

And he also... was uneducated in that.

He didn't... He thought that the people in the next room wanted him to have sex.

And I think that's part of the reason why he committed this... why he raped you.

I was very angry when the few people involved afterwards started, um...

trying to make me feel like I invited this man, um, into me.

And that I was a culprit and I was, um... part of this whole

plot that I yearn to have been, um... violated in that way.

And, um... the assumption that every woman desires to be raped, really infuriated me

because I was very self-protective and always very proud.

And into self-determination and... and, um... So when they...

when they confronted me with this... I felt very angry at them.

But then I started doubting myself, whether... and I felt a bit... humiliated.

And, um... I felt... well, maybe I... I was asking for this, you know...

brutality all along so I could feel even more self -hatred.

Come on!

I'm period!

Please come!

You two got them, baby!

I'm a baby.

I was growing my whole life.

I was growing my whole life.

And I was growing in my whole life.

And I was growing in my whole life.

And I was growing in my... life.

Just this one, it is to be a woman.

Martha.

But he just got by from school?

Cool.

He's been kicked out.

He and West Virginia and Joe were found last night in that.

That whole house in the hill?

They broke in.

You know what they were doing?

They were fucking Kathy.

Oh, God.

Oh, my!

Oh,

my!

She...

They broke all over her eyes!

Oh, my God.

She... She... She... She held out of here.

I've got to go and fly along with this.

Christ!

What bitches?

Oh my god... filthy pigs!

Jesus isn't it just like those grapes?

But buddy... I don't understand, buddy, turning on us like that, do you?

I don't see how she can do that.

You know, I don't understand anything that's going on around here lately.

I know they think I'm weird, but... It's not you.

Remember the stories they told?

Oh, don't listen to those farts.

But they're all true.

I just couldn't tell you before.

Tell me what?

I was supposed to go to that party in New York.

Yeah?

Well, we didn't go.

We went to this dilapidated apartment instead.

Cindy and Bronwyn on a mattress, making out.

And West Virginia got drunk.

I didn't know where it was.

When I wanted to leave, I was afraid I'd be raped or murdered.

And then, Curly took me through this hole in the wall.

Why didn't you tell me this before?

Curly wanted to fuck me.

And I said, no, please don't.

Why are you doing this to me?

And he wouldn't listen to me.

He wouldn't stop.

He just kept on going.

It was like talking to an animal.

Did he hurt you?

Did you scream for help from Cindy and Brian?

Did they come and help you?

No, I was too ashamed.

And I was too afraid.

I just wanted to forget about it.

But nobody will let me.

I don't care what they think.

You know, I'm your best friend.

Are you hungry?

I might be pregnant.

No.

I am so happy, Curly got kicked out of school.

That bastard wouldn't even talk to me about it.

Shit.

Annie, I don't know what to do.

Couldn't you talk to?

Well, maybe he talked to it.

I won't go home.

You wouldn't leave me here long, would you?

No, I know.

Nothing can separate.

Oh, mither and do their old pints and quads, right?

Right.

Alright, girls.

Let's have those lights out now.

Oh, oh, oh, oh what.

No Billy, Billy,

Billy, Billy, Billy,

uh -huh, Jesus my bug isn't working for me.

When you're written, famous and singing in Carnegie Hall, and I'm poor and selling

pencils on the street.

You still speak to me?

Well, you're kidding?

When I'm on the street selling pencils and you're

on a play on Broadway, have you got to remember me?

Yeah.

I'll even give you a free ticket.

Whoa.

Then I'm going to go wash up.

How did it feel to be yourself?

Well, it was... first of all, I thought it was very interesting in your script,

you know, of what you thought that my character was.

I mean, these were, you know, actually you and me.

However, there you and me in your conception.

And I think that your conception of me was of a clown, someone who cheered you up,

someone who listened to you.

And it's very funny because right now, you know, at

this period in my life, I don't feel at all that way.

I do clown around, however, with men.

For instance, it's like, it's the thing with Mr. Farber.

I still do that.

When somebody, like, you know, I live in a apartment building and they're

looking out of the window at me and I happen to be running around nude and...

I, instead of, you know, running away.

and scurrying and covering myself up.

I'll stand in front of the window and jump up and down.

And I find that, you know, this embarrass is like, you know, with Mr. Farber.

It embarrassed him to death.

You know, he left.

I was just lucky it didn't come in and rape me.

Don't you see yourself as a healthier string in the script?

No, because my clowning, which I don't know if you would.

understood then or not, is a way for me to hide my feelings.

Like, I knew there was something going on.

But I felt that, you know, the spitting incident and I felt

that up to the time that we talked about it actually here.

Yeah, right before the film.

That was my fault that they thought I was, you know, a freak and I thought I was...

they thought I was something to be laughed at and they thought that I was the last

person in the world that anybody would go to bed with.

And I also thought that they thought what I thought, which actually was,

that I was infatuated with you.

Oh, come in, Martha.

Sit down.

Here.

Have a piece of candy.

Thank you.

I've learned about the incident in the dorm with the girls downstairs and I

thought we could benefit from having a little talk.

Do you have any idea what provoked that incident?

No.

I don't know what's happening, Mr. Cohen.

I do have some ideas, but I thought you might be able to help.

Perhaps it's my singing at night.

Will you do sing very well?

Maybe the girls downstairs wish they could sing as well as you do.

I have this theory that people who excel bring about feelings of jealousy among

their peers.

Mr. Cohen, I don't feel I excel.

Oh, you can't hide it.

I've seen your transcript, your test records.

You skipped a grade.

Your dean's list, student.

Mr. Cohen, I want to work towards my ambitions, but at this

point of my life, I feel like I've seen your transcript.

I'm falling apart.

That may have something to do with the upsets in your own personal life.

You have no father, your mother makes great demands on you.

I'm sure those responsibilities weigh heavily on you.

Yes, they do.

You see, Martha, you're an outstanding girl, and you should fulfill your education.

You have talent, you're attractive, and I'm sure you'll be a target of those

people who don't have those qualities all your life.

You're going to have to learn to live with that.

But right now, I think it would be best to transfer you to another dorm.

No, Mr. Cohen, if you move me, everybody will know why I've moved.

And everything will start all over again.

Well, that's worth a try.

I think it would make things easier for everybody.

Believe me, Mr. Cohen, it would just aggravate the problem.

I'm not going to force you.

It's just the best solution that occurs to me.

Why don't you think it over for a couple of days, and then when you change your

mind, come in and see me.

I think you're going to be all right.

Fourth period's about to begin, Martha.

Mr. Cohen, I'm not ready to leave yet.

I feel maybe we could talk about some other things.

You're welcome to stay and have another piece of

candy, but I have an appointment to see Mr. Randall.

I really stayed away from then for... Oh, I couldn't go out on a date for two years.

I mean, I went back to another school the next year and was... I remember I went out

on a couple dates.

And, you know, I would just cry.

That was just the immediate following year when

I had to pretend to be like a normal teenager.

I felt very far from a normal teenager.

And it affected me for years afterwards.

Oh, just finally in therapy when I was in college and I was probably about 20,

I realized that it was rape.

But how come you felt so shame?

Because let yourself get into the situation.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I felt it was all my doing totally and completely my doing.

Well, here I am, 28 and a half.

I've never had a really committed relationship with a man.

I've never... I wonder.

I think I'm protecting myself.

I think I'm protecting that thing.

Maybe a little bit.

I mean, I think it would take a really incredible thing

special that can't possibly exist to get me to really trust.

Because I'm... because I'm really afraid.

I've been waiting a long, long time to find that.

Wondering if the love we're sharing.

We'll bring me joy, or make me cry.

Oh, I will love her.

Be light, be light.

Hold

me tough, yeah, yeah.

Don't be tired, and then I'll kiss his lips.

Will it sound a thrill through my finger?

So tell me what will love her.

Will it sound a thrill through my finger?

If it's so tell me what will love her?

Will it sound a thrill through my finger?

I'll be light.

Like it's time to get me so slow.

When I can't wait to see you.

I can't help, but I just have to know how it's going to be the more.

Don't be light, be light.

And then I'll kiss his lips.

Will it sound a thrill through my finger?

If it's so tell me what will love her?

Will it sound a thrill through my finger?

If it's so tell me what will love her?

Yes, tell me what will love her?

Oh, tell me what will love her?

Love me light.