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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:05,173 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,168 MARSHALL: Credit is weird. 3 00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:36,137 People have to buy stuff off it. 4 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,106 Especially stuff they don't need. 5 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:39,740 But, when it comes time to pay, 6 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,642 they'll do anything not to. 7 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,412 Especially if they're broke, like me. 8 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:45,479 Mom. 9 00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:47,215 Marshall. 10 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,150 You wouldn't be trying to sneak outta here 11 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,684 without me seeing you, would you? 12 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,320 Me? 13 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:55,323 Nah, why would I do a thing like that? 14 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,325 Oh, gee, I don't know. 15 00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,859 Silly me. 16 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,794 I thought you might be trying to not pay me 17 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,663 what you still owe me for this, 18 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:06,534 "disguise yourself, so even your mother won't recognize you" kit. 19 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:08,236 Did I buy that? Hmm. 20 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:11,172 You said if you didn't have it, you would burst into flames. 21 00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:13,207 I charged it on credit, so, 22 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:15,643 pay up or take it back to the World O'Stuff. 23 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:25,186 MARSHALL: Mr. Radford? Mr. Radford, 24 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,788 I need to return this disguise kit you sold me. MR. RADFORD: No. 25 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:29,690 No. 26 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,495 No, no, no! 27 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:37,398 Is that a definite "no" or a maybe "no"? 28 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,467 It says on my warranty I can return it. 29 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,235 Where? In the fine print. 30 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:42,370 Let me see that. 31 00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:48,642 The IRS is sending a man to audit me, 32 00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:50,378 you know what that means? 33 00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:51,745 Oh, of course you don't. 34 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:55,216 All you know from taxes is what you pay on your gum. 35 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,851 Well, you've got a heck of a surprise coming. 36 00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,188 I forgot to pay my income tax. 37 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,222 For 12 years, 38 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:04,258 mayor called, but already it slipped my mind. 39 00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:06,860 It's an honest mistake, I'm sure they'd understand. 40 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:08,362 Understand? 41 00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:10,531 The IRS? 42 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,701 They are ruthless, heartless bureaucrats with one goal in life. 43 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,169 Making me pay. 44 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,638 Why, the average IRS agent would make 45 00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:20,408 the Devil himself seem like Mr. Rogers. 46 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,510 [DOOR BELL DINGING] 47 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:26,614 Good afternoon, Donald Jerkinlagen Hagenflagen is the name. 48 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:30,518 But you can just call me "The Donald." 49 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,786 You can call me The Marshall. 50 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,755 The Simon here. 51 00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,557 Just plain Radford. 52 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,726 You know, it kills me to see a business like this 53 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:41,529 not living up to it's earning potential? [SMIRKS] 54 00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,331 You can say that again. 55 00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:44,798 Maybe I can help you. 56 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,834 Normally, I don't handle accounts this small, 57 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,836 but I like you. You're my kinda people. 58 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,438 You've gotta think big. 59 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,573 If you let me handle a promotion, 60 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:55,809 ads, TV spots, PR, I guarantee you'll clean up. 61 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,978 I'll stake my reputation on it. 62 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,613 What's in it for you? 63 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:02,716 Close your eyes. 64 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,487 And imagine... 65 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,891 You are wearing a short-sleeved, Hawaiian shirt. 66 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:14,228 Masculinely unbuttoned to the navel. 67 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,597 You have on a gold watch so heavy, 68 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,800 that all the ladies gladly clad in bikinis 69 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,469 are flocking to you. 70 00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:24,438 The sea breeze is blowing your expensively, 71 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,607 yet subtly darkened hair. 72 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,310 [STAMMERS] I'm on a vacation. 73 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,248 Picture yourself on a boat. 74 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:36,484 Ooh, I look very macho. 75 00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,619 It's a big boat. 76 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:41,589 Oh, ah! A very big boat. 77 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,424 A yacht! 78 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,558 Oh, brother. 79 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,960 Picture yourself owning that yacht. 80 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,397 Repeat after me, 81 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:52,633 I deserve to own that yacht. 82 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:55,903 I deserve to own that yacht. 83 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:59,673 If you don't sell every item in this store within 72 hours, 84 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,008 you don't owe me a thing. 85 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,313 Where do I sign? 86 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,348 Aren't you gonna read it first? 87 00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,417 Why? You can't lose. 88 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,685 It's a win-win situation. 89 00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:14,322 Yeah, hey, how do I look? 90 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,524 Like a million bucks. 91 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:17,758 When do we start? 92 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,693 We already have. 93 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,931 MARSHALL: Normally, Mr. Radford didn't top my worry list. 94 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,400 But being broke made him an easy mark. 95 00:04:26,434 --> 00:04:28,902 I didn't have a clue what was in that contract. 96 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,439 But a little voice inside me was screaming, 97 00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,641 "Do not rust the dude with a ponytail 98 00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,376 who's first name is 'The.'" 99 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:38,446 Danger. Eerie weirdness directly ahead. 100 00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,747 Danger. 101 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,953 It didn't take long for The Donald to overhaul the World O'Stuff. 102 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:49,089 Radford was the poster child for suckers everywhere. 103 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:53,661 Was I the only one who thought The Donald should be renamed "The Slime"? 104 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,929 Hey, Radford, what's going on? Advertising. 105 00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,404 MR. RADFORD: Yes! Yes! Yes! 106 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,608 Oh, yes! Oh, yes! 107 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,811 One more. One more. Ooh. THE DONALD: Yeah, I give awesome. All right, bye. 108 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,846 Ooh, I'm gonna be so rich, I'm gonna stink. 109 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,116 THE DONALD: Yeah, we're gonna need more air time and more promotional spots. 110 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,920 No, don't worry, the agency I represent is one of the oldest in existence. 111 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,789 Branches in every corner of the globe. 112 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:24,625 When the bill comes due, you'll be promptly taken care of. 113 00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:27,895 That's right. 114 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,463 MR. RADFORD: Yes! Hold on. Psst. 115 00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:30,498 Huh? 116 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,602 THE DONALD: Hey, kid. Huh? 117 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:35,803 What's in the coat? 118 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,972 Well, no, nothing. Just, uh, browsing. 119 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,608 Ah. Catch! 120 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,947 Gee, I wonder how all those got in there. 121 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,616 Busted! 122 00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:50,784 It's people like you who ruin 123 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,086 the shopping experience for everyone else. 124 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:56,123 Yeah, well, you know, uh... 125 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,492 I think my mommy's calling me now, so... 126 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,928 Not so fast, kid. 127 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,563 How do you like a job? 128 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:05,132 Job? Me? [LAUGHS] 129 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,767 You must be joking. 130 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,102 Um, Mr. Radford? 131 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,939 I don't mean to butt in, but I don't think that... 132 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,107 I like your initiative, son. 133 00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:15,843 DASH X: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 134 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:17,778 What's in it for me? 135 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,647 A juicy slice of the profit pie 136 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,048 when the money starts rolling in. 137 00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:24,752 All right, where do I sign? 138 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,854 On the little, dotted line. 139 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,757 Always wanted a career in retail. 140 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:35,062 MARSHALL: These two couldn't deserve each other more. 141 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:38,966 Dash X and The Donald, both thought they were outsmarting the other one. 142 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,068 They were both pulling scams. 143 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:44,137 The only question was, whose scam will win? 144 00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:47,575 One thing I knew for sure, who would lose. 145 00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:49,009 Mr. Radford. 146 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:52,846 Trust me, that's it, sign right there. There you go. 147 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,648 Yeah! 148 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,950 [MAN ON TV] Here it is, the definitive answers 149 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,786 to the JFK assassination, 150 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,187 the Iran-Contra cover up, 151 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,155 the cure for the common cold, 152 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:05,893 and our hidden videotape of Madonna's horrid affair with... 153 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,795 [LAUGHING] 154 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:10,063 Hey, wake those neighbors, bring those kids, 155 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,566 because the moment all of Eerie has been waiting for 156 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,934 is finally here. 157 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:19,006 The World O'Stuff is having its midnight madness sale. 158 00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,008 How much does it cost? 159 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,677 Maybe that's the problem with this world, 160 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:27,515 everybody wants to know the price of everything, 161 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:30,984 and the value of nothing. 162 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:33,954 There's no money down. [LAUGHS] 163 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,857 * No money down! 164 00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:39,192 There's no applications to fill out. 165 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:44,164 With our E-Z Credit. 166 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,200 DASH X: Could even I get credit? 167 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:51,639 It's so easy! 168 00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:54,875 All you have to do is sign. 169 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,677 * You just can't get enough 170 00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,280 * You just can't get enough 171 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,850 * You just can't get enough 172 00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,052 * At the World O'Stuff 173 00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,120 No money... 174 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:10,190 E-Z Credit. 175 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:13,126 That white guy in the commercial's kinda cute. 176 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:18,532 It's only 9 o'clock. I can't keep my eyes open. 177 00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:19,933 I'm gonna hit the hay. 178 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:21,935 [ALL YAWN] 179 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,504 * Just can't get enough 180 00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:28,241 * Just can't get enough 181 00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:31,244 MARSHALL: My brain is very important to me. 182 00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,947 That's why I'm super picky about what I put into 183 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:36,650 the little laboratory on my neck. 184 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:39,052 Were these commercials knocking useful information 185 00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:43,123 outta my brain to make room for all this advertising mush? 186 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:47,861 [MUMBLING] 187 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,567 Wake up. 188 00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:59,272 * Shop at the World O'Stuff 189 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:03,276 * Because you need the stuff 190 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:07,314 * Shop at the World O'Stuff 191 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:12,686 * 'Cause you can't enough Don't think it over 192 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:17,157 * Don't think it over 193 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,226 [MUMBLING] Just can't get enough. 194 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:24,331 * Just can't get enough, ooh 195 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:27,100 * At the World O'Stuff 196 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,937 Would you rather be? 197 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,338 Shopping. 198 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:32,840 I'm dreaming. 199 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,075 Wake up. 200 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:39,913 Come on, Marshall, you can do it, wake up. 201 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,949 He's still resisting the advertising. 202 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,618 It's time for more drastic measures. 203 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,386 [GROWLING] 204 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,789 I've heard of subliminal advertising, 205 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,190 but this is ridiculous. 206 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,693 * Just can't get enough 207 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,061 [SCREAMING] No! 208 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,229 * Just can't get enough 209 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,031 MAN: Yeah, I can almost taste it. 210 00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,233 * Just can't get enough 211 00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:04,738 * At the World O'Stuff 212 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,708 [LAUGHING] [GLASS BREAKING] 213 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,142 [DOG BARKING] [DOOR SHUTS] 214 00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,045 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 215 00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:25,092 MARSHALL: What are you doing, Dad? 216 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:28,128 [EDGAR MUMBLING] Just can't get enough. 217 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,798 MARSHALL: What's the matter? 218 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,267 You can't get enough of what, Dad? 219 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,869 Just can't get enough. 220 00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:37,838 MARSHALL: I'll take that. [EDGAR CONTINUES MUMBLING] 221 00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:44,144 MARSHALL: I was seeing a side of Dad's personality I'd never seen before. 222 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,814 It was as if his mental underpants were showing. 223 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,982 He was sleepwalking, and all I could think was, 224 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,018 if this could happen to me when I fall asleep, 225 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,120 I never wanted to sleep again. 226 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,824 [ALL CHANTING] Just can't get enough. 227 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,694 My family, most of Eerie were behaving 228 00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,429 like lemmings in PJs. 229 00:11:02,462 --> 00:11:04,798 Some subterranean urge was drawing them 230 00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,700 like moths to a flame. 231 00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:08,936 SIMON: Marshall, thank goodness you're awake. 232 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,403 What's goin' on? I don't know. 233 00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:13,073 Everybody's sleepwalking to the World O'Stuff. 234 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,674 We better get over there, come on. 235 00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:18,879 [ALL CONTINUE CHANTING] 236 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,114 MARSHALL: Simon and I approached the World O'Stuff. 237 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,083 It became clear that I wasn't the only one 238 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:25,018 who was shopping in his dream. 239 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:28,789 [UPBEAT SONG PLAYING] 240 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,894 [ALL MUMBLING] 241 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:38,031 Buy, buy, buy. Spend, spend, spend. 242 00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:40,901 No money down. 243 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,405 * You just can't get enough, Oh, no 244 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:48,075 * You just can't get enough 245 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,043 * At the World O'Stuff 246 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,846 [ALL ARGUING] 247 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,348 It's mine, I saw it first. 248 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,417 MARSHALL: Just when you think you have a handle 249 00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,820 on how weird Eerie is during the day, 250 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,822 the whole town does a belly flop at night. 251 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,359 There you go. 252 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,295 MARSHALL: Weird stuff was happening so fast 253 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:11,064 that I had an urge to buckle up my seat belt. 254 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:14,434 Was Eerie turning into a town of shopping zombies in PJs? 255 00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:18,338 Were Dash and Radford getting sucked into a spiraling vortex of greed? 256 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:22,042 Was there anything I could do to stop Eerie from signing it's life away? 257 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,914 The World O'Stuff Midnight Madness Sale 258 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,782 was completely insane. 259 00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:30,150 The Donald was unleashing 260 00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,853 weird, hidden consumer fantasies in Eerie. 261 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:35,322 Were people buying stuff they secretly wanted? 262 00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,958 Or was all of the advertising creating new desires 263 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,192 for stuff they didn't need? 264 00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:40,861 MAN: How do I look? 265 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,796 Fabulous! 266 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:45,365 * I just can't get enough 267 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,567 Young lady! Young lady! 268 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,338 Check this out. This so comfortable, you won't even know it's on. 269 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,073 Radford, you gotta stop them. 270 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,208 Marshall, you're overreacting. 271 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:58,345 Nothing's going on here but a little, harmless capitalism. 272 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,413 Besides, everybody's having such a good time. 273 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,955 I'll take ten of these. 274 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,890 Mom, get down from there, you'll get hurt. 275 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,125 You gotta stop this. 276 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,961 They don't even know what they're buying. 277 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,829 Hey, it's the American way. 278 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,430 Listen, Mr. The, 279 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,200 nobody turns my family into zombies and gets away with it. 280 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:22,936 They're not zombies, they're consumers. 281 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,372 Yeah, besides, how can you tell the difference? 282 00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,274 Come on, Simon, we're getting outta here. 283 00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:29,843 I'll be back. 284 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:31,411 I'm sure you will. 285 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:35,315 And don't forget, we're open 24 hours. 286 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,017 [SNICKERING] 287 00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,089 MARSHALL: Simon and I retreated to the secret spot. 288 00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:45,458 The only place we felt safe from Eerie's midnight weirdness sale. 289 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:48,896 We had to take extraordinary measures to stay awake. 290 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,568 [DOG BARKING] 291 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,271 SYNDI: Let's get breakfast. Wait a minute, I hear something. 292 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,173 [EDGAR MUMBLING] 293 00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:01,341 MARSHALL: They're home. 294 00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:04,144 [EDGAR SINGING] 295 00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:09,016 EDGAR: Good morning! 296 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,517 MARSHALL: Dad, do you know who I am? 297 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:14,554 Of course, Son, what a silly question. 298 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,891 Ah, thank God, you're back, you're normal. 299 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,159 Thanks, I think. 300 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:23,563 My God, what happened? 301 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,566 What's this doing here? 302 00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:29,202 Don't you remember? Not really. 303 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:31,304 * You just can't get enough 304 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,373 Oh, boy. 305 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,642 I can't seem to keep my eyes open. 306 00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:42,249 And I think I need a... Nap. 307 00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:44,084 Just can't get enough. 308 00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,552 Dad? [YAWNS] 309 00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:51,358 I had the greatest dream last night. 310 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,426 Hmm, me too. 311 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:56,296 I dreamt I was shopping at the World O'Stuff. The World O'Stuff? 312 00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:59,499 Yeah, they were having the greatest sale. 313 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,302 Mom. Yes, Marshall? 314 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:08,208 MARSHALL: Even professional weirdness investigators 315 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,644 like Simon and me weren't immune to the onslaught of advertising. 316 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,646 Finally sleep got the better of us. 317 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,083 And we too became shopping zombies. 318 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:19,319 [BOTH CHANTING] Just can't get enough. 319 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:22,055 * Just can't get enough 320 00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:24,424 * You just can't get enough 321 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,526 Well, looky what we have here. 322 00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:29,462 THE DONALD: Welcome shoppers! 323 00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:33,033 [IN A ROBOTIC VOICE] We want to buy something we don't need. 324 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,968 On credit. 325 00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:40,173 Well, you're lucky. I have just two things left. 326 00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,042 This one's for you. 327 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,113 And I guess you won't need your money back on this anymore. 328 00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:49,416 THE DONALD: Excellent selections! 329 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:53,586 Now all you have to do is sign on the little, dotted line. 330 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:57,024 There... we go. 331 00:15:57,057 --> 00:16:00,127 Yup, and here... we are! 332 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:03,663 [ALARM BLARING] 333 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,666 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 334 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:10,037 That's it, I'm out of stuff. 335 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,539 [EXCITEDLY] I'm rich! I'm rich! I'm rich! 336 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,242 Well... 337 00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,444 I'll take my piece of pie now. 338 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,413 Yeah. [LAUGHS] You know... 339 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:23,616 It's not really so simple. 340 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,218 [PHONE RINGING] Oh! 341 00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:26,719 [RADFORD SINGING EXCITEDLY] 342 00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,522 Yo. Boss. 343 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,124 Yeah. [LAUGHS] 344 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,493 You are so right. 345 00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:36,229 Excuse me. 346 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,636 [RADFORD SINGING EXCITEDLY] 347 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,773 * Oh, I'm rich, I'm rich 348 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,776 I'm gonna be rich! 349 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:52,312 ...leaves anything as long as it means a vacation from him, 350 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,414 and that Dash X kid hasn't got a clue, 351 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,583 He thinks he's getting a piece of the pie. 352 00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,218 So, send in the buses. 353 00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:01,621 It's time for the good citizens of Eerie to go to the mall. 354 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:02,789 [LAUGHS WICKEDLY] 355 00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:09,696 [ANGRILY] Nobody, but nobody messes with my piece of pie. 356 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,634 DASH X: Yo! 357 00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:15,735 Zombies! 358 00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:19,106 Wake up! Hello? 359 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,112 Thanks, I needed that. 360 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,546 Hey, what's the idea? 361 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:30,083 What are we doing? 362 00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:32,352 Don't tell me we fell asleep and bought this stuff. 363 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,586 I'm afraid so. 364 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,356 SIMON: This is very cool. 365 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,592 But why did they make a lamp just for some guy in your paper route? 366 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:41,761 [CAWING] 367 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,498 Just tell me one thing. 368 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:48,235 Did we sign anything while we were sleep shopping? 369 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:58,878 What is it? Fine print. 370 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,348 SIMON: That's a dot. MARSHALL: A speck of dirt. 371 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:03,583 Bring it closer. 372 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,653 [CAWING] 373 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:11,090 Hang on, we need more magnification. 374 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,701 MARSHALL: Here it is. 375 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:22,802 Fine print. 376 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:28,775 [MARSHALL READING] 377 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,310 Blah, blah. 378 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:31,911 Oh, here it is. 379 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,581 "If buyers don't pay in full in cash, 380 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:39,152 The Donald Incorporated gets to repossess their souls." 381 00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:40,820 SIMON: What does he want with our souls? 382 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,523 He doesn't have one of his own. 383 00:18:44,591 --> 00:18:45,692 Wait a minute. 384 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,161 He said something about busing everyone to the mall. 385 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,430 BOTH: The mall? 386 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:54,601 THE DONALD: All right, all aboard, let's go on aboard. 387 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,703 Plenty of room for everybody. 388 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,539 That's right, boss, every single citizen is boarding 389 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,274 even as we speak. 390 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,776 Not a single soul left. 391 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:08,248 That's right, biggest 24 hour haul since the last days of Rome. 392 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,183 Real Old Testament style... 393 00:19:10,217 --> 00:19:14,454 What's going on? Hey, don't worry, kid, you're gonna love the mall. 394 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,489 What's the matter? 395 00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:20,527 Don't you wanna shop forever and ever and ever? 396 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:21,561 [LAUGHING] 397 00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,797 All aboard! 398 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,533 All aboard! 399 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,738 Mr. Radford, what's happening? You gotta stop it. 400 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:35,174 [YAWNING] I'd like to, Marshall, I really would, but... 401 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,177 we all signed the contracts. 402 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,247 A deal's a deal. 403 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,348 [DOOR BELL DINGS] 404 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,483 THE DONALD: You sign, you go. Caveat emptor, kid. 405 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,851 Let the buyer beware. 406 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:50,523 [SCREAMING] Ah, no! 407 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,292 DASH X: He's running. He'll be back. 408 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:55,962 Nobody escaped this bill, death and taxes, huh, Radford? 409 00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,565 Hey, guys, I'm really sorry. 410 00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:01,501 But, uh, there's no way to beat this guy. 411 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,571 We did it to ourselves I guess. 412 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:10,243 I never realized that shopping could be so deadly. 413 00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,911 MAN: Um, excuse me. 414 00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:16,449 Which of you is Bartholomew J. Radford? 415 00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:22,489 A social security number 9-5-1-9-6-1-2-3-5. 416 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,491 That's me. Oh. 417 00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,693 Internal Revenue Service. 418 00:20:28,027 --> 00:20:30,630 I... [STAMMERS] 419 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:33,366 IRS? 420 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,704 We have an audit to go to. 421 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:41,474 It seems you haven't filed a return since 1979. 422 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,277 Do I have a choice here? 423 00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:49,782 Couldn't I just go straight to Hell instead? 424 00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:53,019 Sorry, Mr. Radford, but your trip will have to wait. 425 00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:56,523 I'll be needing all your store receipts. 426 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:57,890 DASH X: But he doesn't have 'em. 427 00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,495 He does. 428 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,798 B-But... 429 00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:07,467 But these are mine. 430 00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,837 These are my contracts. 431 00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:13,406 Maybe you didn't hear me. 432 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,608 Internal Revenue Service. 433 00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,777 [STUTTERING] 434 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:27,320 There you go, sir. 435 00:21:27,354 --> 00:21:30,089 I'd like you to know that Mr. Radford was 436 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,525 cooperating fully in this matter. 437 00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,327 Thank you. 438 00:21:34,361 --> 00:21:36,062 MARSHALL: The Donald wasn't a good loser. 439 00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:38,665 There are only two things that are certain in this world 440 00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:40,567 according to Benjamin Franklin. 441 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,001 Death and Taxes. 442 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:46,439 Two hundred years later in Eerie, old Ben had no idea how right he was. 443 00:22:02,589 --> 00:22:03,756 [CAWING] 444 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:06,859 [ALL YAWNING] 445 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,100 What happened? 446 00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:17,470 Where are we? 447 00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:20,840 Marilyn, what are you doing outside in your nightie? 448 00:22:20,873 --> 00:22:23,075 Think I'm gonna ask you the same thing. 449 00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:31,851 We've all got sides to our personality 450 00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:35,755 we usually never get to see. 451 00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,825 Marshall? DASH X: Wow. 452 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:41,093 Just like on TV. 453 00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:44,497 [CHUCKLES] The disguise kit I sold you. 454 00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:48,568 You know, gentlemen, this has taught me a valuable lesson. 455 00:22:48,601 --> 00:22:51,971 The best thing in life cannot be bought or sold, 456 00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:55,408 it has no price and without it, 457 00:22:55,442 --> 00:22:56,876 nothing matters. 458 00:22:57,777 --> 00:22:59,078 Well, what is it? 459 00:23:00,012 --> 00:23:01,147 Soul. 460 00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:04,417 That's "a soul," Simon. 461 00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:07,019 MR. RADFORD: Boy, that was a close one. 462 00:23:07,053 --> 00:23:09,589 MARSHALL: Yeah, the devil almost got you, huh? 463 00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:12,892 MR. RADFORD: No, I almost got audited. 464 00:23:12,925 --> 00:23:15,495 MARSHALL: Eerie's souls were safe for the time being. 465 00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:18,030 At least until Radford's audit was over. 466 00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:20,933 And you know, with the IRS, that could take an eternity. 467 00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:22,935 [ALARM BLARING] 468 00:23:30,477 --> 00:23:34,046 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 31416

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