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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:05,073
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:36,337
MARSHALL: Sometimes
it gets tough battling
the forces of Eerie by myself,
3
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,472
even with a little bit
of help from Simon,
4
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,708
but I always thought
I could count on mom and dad
5
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,443
for a dose of normality.
6
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:45,279
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
7
00:00:45,313 --> 00:00:47,848
But then dad joined
The Loyal Order of Corn,
8
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,184
Eerie's version
of the Moose Lodge,
9
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:52,786
and started spending
all his free time there,
10
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,588
which drove mom crazy.
11
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:59,093
I'd never even
noticed the place.
12
00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:01,329
Kind of makes me wonder
what else I haven't noticed.
13
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,134
A little order, please.
14
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:07,735
Come to order.
15
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,770
[MURMURINGS]
16
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,071
Thank you.
17
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,709
I give you...
the Kernel.
18
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:20,848
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]
19
00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:26,654
Thank you.
Thank you Seedlings,
20
00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:29,357
Knee-highs,
21
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:32,560
Third-degree ears
of The Loyal Order of Corn.
22
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,696
[PIANO NOTES PLAYING]
23
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,732
[CAWING]
24
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,569
As usual, we'll begin
with our song,
25
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:46,340
"Hail to Thee,
O Ears of Splendor."
26
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:50,678
* Hail to Thee,
O Ears of Splendor
27
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:54,815
* Joyously we pledge our job
28
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:58,819
* We declare
Our staunch allegiance
29
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:02,723
* To protect your kingly cob
30
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:06,527
* With fidelity
And devotion... *
31
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,864
Uh... excuse me, sir.
Is there, uh...
32
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,600
anything specific
I should be doing?
33
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:17,738
Simply watch...
and learn.
34
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,210
I can't believe
I'm actually here,
35
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:24,212
at The Loyal Order of Corn.
36
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,447
Simon, you've lived
in Eerie all your life.
37
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,681
What's the big deal anyway.
38
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,483
It's just a weirdo Lodge.
39
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,353
People say
they run things.
40
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,755
People say you
better do as they say.
41
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:38,192
Have people noticed
they are a bunch of goons
in stupid hats?
42
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:40,361
Come on.
[SINGING CONTINUES]
43
00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:42,763
* There sprouts a Hardy
44
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:46,634
* Sturdy stalk
45
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:52,440
* The Loyal Order
46
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:57,911
* Of Corn
47
00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:00,714
[DRAMATIC GONG]
48
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:05,653
[LOW RUMBLING]
49
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,256
You know what that means,
brother huskers.
50
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,658
Time to enter
the inner sanctum!
51
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,896
Seedling Teller,
are you prepared?
52
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,401
I submit.
53
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,237
Come forward.
54
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:24,638
Attaboy!
55
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,540
[CAWING]
56
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:29,277
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
57
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:45,826
[CAWING]
58
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,898
DASH X: Hey, you punks!
Get out of there.
59
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:56,370
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
60
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:01,709
MARSHALL: I could only
imagine what kind
of vicious security thugs
61
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,277
The Loyal Order of Corn used.
62
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,415
Well, well, well!
63
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,583
If it isn't
Thelma and Louise!
64
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:12,753
What're you doing here?
65
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,522
I work here.
66
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,357
Since when?
Since this afternoon.
67
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,660
Boy, only...
68
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:23,597
six hours on the job
and I've nabbed myself
a couple of intruders.
69
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:26,434
Boy, is Ned gonna
be happy!
70
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:27,768
You're not gonna
to turn us in.
71
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,470
Oh, why wouldn't I?
72
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,741
All right,
if I give you
ten bucks,
73
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:34,975
would you forget
you saw us?
74
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,011
Forget who?
75
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,515
All right,
get out of here.
76
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:44,352
This is very private
stuff, very hush-hush.
77
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:45,619
I can't.
My old man's
in there.
78
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:47,821
So?
79
00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,457
Marshall's worried about...
Simon!
80
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,793
Oh, you're breaking
my heart. [SNICKERS]
81
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,528
All right.
82
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,564
Come on. Give me
your best shot, Teller.
83
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:58,632
What?
84
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,769
[OWL HOOTING]
85
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,607
All right. If I
give you another
five bucks,
86
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,708
would you
let us in?
87
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,812
I didn't...
quite hear you.
88
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,515
All right.
Ten bucks.
89
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,818
You said the magic words.
90
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,687
Now, you guys should
get a job like this.
91
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,055
I'm making
a fortune.
92
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:24,925
All right. Wait here.
There's a camera
at the front door.
93
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,093
I'll go open
the window.
94
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:30,731
Have you noticed
ever since we met
this guy,
95
00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:32,500
we're always broke?
96
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,067
Or in trouble.
97
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:38,939
Come on, hurry up.
98
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:43,010
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
99
00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:51,952
Wow! The Loyal
Order of Corn.
100
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,855
SIMON: This is so neat.
101
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,123
MARSHALL: Hey,
check that out.
102
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:10,504
Simon, do you see
anything funny
about these pictures?
103
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:13,674
Yeah. Everybody's
wearing the same hat.
104
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,042
No, no, no.
Look closer.
105
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:17,745
Who's in every picture?
106
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,114
The bartender guy!
107
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,684
Ned.
108
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:27,688
He's been the same
since at least 19... 15.
109
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,858
Exactly how old is he?
110
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,026
Oh gee, how should I know?
111
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,028
You know something.
112
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,630
[LOUD THUD]
Maybe I do.
113
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,933
[DISTANT VOICES]
114
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:44,104
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
115
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,509
I feel like
such a failure.
116
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,710
Nonsense, my boy.
117
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,945
Patience is one
of the supreme attributes.
118
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:54,815
You do know
the supreme attributes,
don't you, Seedling Teller?
119
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:59,987
Ah... patience, fortitude,
persistence, loyalty,
silence, strength,
120
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,123
I'm leaving
one out I know.
121
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,191
Loyalty.
122
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:05,425
I thought
I said loyalty.
123
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:09,463
Loyalty is a double
supreme attribute,
Seedling Teller.
124
00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,064
Of course.
Loyalty is the corner stone
125
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,533
of The Order of Corn.
126
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,768
Loyalty to fellows,
127
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,770
loyalty to ideas,
128
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:19,239
loyalty to our
very important work
129
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,775
no matter how
long it takes.
130
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,478
How long has
it taken, Ned?
131
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:26,780
A very long time.
132
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:28,982
See? But...
133
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:31,685
something tells me
we're coming very close
to the finish
134
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,954
of, of, of, of, of...
well, you know.
135
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:34,888
You really
think so?
136
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:38,692
The alignment holds
for six more hours.
137
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:42,730
I think you should
try to complete
your work... tonight.
138
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,999
Yes. Well...
in that case,
139
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,569
Seedling Teller,
140
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,604
let's drop in
on the old
Teller workshop
141
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,673
and pick up that
one missing piece.
142
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,575
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
143
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:58,679
Are they gone?
144
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,781
No. Shh...
145
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,683
NED: Is there something
wrong here, huh?
146
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,553
No. No, no,
I'm fine.
147
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,921
Remember what I said
about following the rules.
148
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,591
It's very important
especially in
the early going.
149
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:12,760
Where's that picture?
150
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,796
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
151
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:16,864
Picture?
152
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:24,037
Oh, you mean
this picture.
153
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,639
I was just
cleaning it for you.
154
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:28,008
Well, you're enthusiastic.
Very good.
155
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,243
The members
will like that.
156
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,913
Ned. Is it time
for recitation?
157
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:33,947
Yes.
158
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,116
[DOOR SHUTS]
159
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,218
I must attend
to the closing
ceremonies.
160
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,554
But once the members
have gone,
161
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,656
you and I will
have a talk.
162
00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:45,025
You may be getting
a promotion,
163
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,526
sooner than
you think.
164
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:54,234
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
165
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,605
SIMON: Is he gone?
166
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:58,772
Yeah, come on.
167
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,543
What was all
that stuff about?
168
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:06,113
Getting a promotion.
I thought you just
started here.
169
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:09,917
Well, may be Ned sees
my obvious potential.
170
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,085
You're holding
out on us.
171
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,253
Oh, come on.
What are we?
172
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,755
The hole in the wall gang?
173
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,189
I don't have
to tell you anything.
174
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:19,026
Fine. Just remember,
175
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,795
we're the only other
people who believe
Eerie is weird.
176
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,967
[SIGHS] All right.
177
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,337
DASH X: Come on.
Our friend, Ned, doesn't
know I can do this.
178
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:34,107
Secret mysteries
of The Loyal
Order of Corn.
179
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:35,843
I can't look.
180
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,814
[ELECTRIC BUZZING]
181
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,187
Simon, you can open
your eyes now.
182
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,356
Get a load of this.
183
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:52,092
Looks like one
of those hulky
new age crystal things.
184
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,194
My sister has one
almost that big.
185
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,697
She thinks it will
get her a boyfriend.
186
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,766
The door's got
markings on it.
187
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,200
Just like the ones
on your hands.
188
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:02,903
What does that mean?
189
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,739
It means that our friend, Ned,
190
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,775
might know more about me than
he's saying.
191
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,910
May be he knows
where you came from.
192
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,011
Or where your
family is.
193
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,612
Maybe Ned knows
what your name is.
194
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,315
That's a lot of maybes.
195
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:18,185
And until then, I'm gonna use
these for a name.
196
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,286
Plus and minus?
197
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:24,157
No... no, no. Dash X.
198
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:28,195
Get it? Dash... X.
199
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,865
Plus. What kind
of name is that?
200
00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:34,334
You guys are a constant
source of embarrassment.
201
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,838
So, Dash X,
202
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,073
what has Ned told you
about The Loyal
Order of Corn?
203
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,042
He didn't tell me
anything. I just...
204
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,278
knew that this stuff
was in here like I'd
seen it before or something.
205
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,016
Something is very weird.
206
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:51,785
Yeah, we knew that.
And we know where.
207
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:53,954
But how do we
get in there?
208
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:56,389
Come on. Let's
take a look.
209
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,263
Hey, check this out.
210
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:10,670
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
211
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,757
How big is this place?
212
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,759
Bigger inside than
it is outside.
213
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,297
You know, my guess
is that this thing goes
214
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,399
right in here.
215
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,902
[ELECTRICAL STATIC]
216
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,436
Cool cable.
217
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,805
What is it?
218
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,139
What does it look like?
219
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:49,242
Looks like a giant
TV screen, but nobody
makes them this big.
220
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,711
Except The Loyal Order of Corn.
221
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,114
Oh, no.
222
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,449
Maybe they're working
for the Japanese.
223
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,787
Oh, no. Maybe they're working
for a Orville Redenbacher.
224
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,193
MARSHALL: Why so big?
225
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,862
Why all the secrecy?
226
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:12,099
May be it's some kind
of spy screen.
227
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:13,433
Hey, here's an idea.
228
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,869
What are the coordinates
for your sister's bedroom?
229
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,104
Oh, be serious.
230
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,172
All right. May be it's
for watching ESPN.
231
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,108
That's funny.
232
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,177
Mars, it's cold.
233
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:25,946
Simon, don't touch it.
234
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,348
It's all right, really.
235
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,050
MARSHALL: There's
something else.
236
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,485
Let's just change
the channel
and find out.
237
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,454
[ELECTRICAL STATIC]
238
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:35,488
Mars, help!
239
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,491
Simon!
It wasn't me!
240
00:12:38,525 --> 00:12:42,029
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
241
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,031
Help me, Mars!
242
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:45,966
I'm cold.
243
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:51,872
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
244
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:55,142
MARSHALL: While penetrating
the inner sanctum
of the Loyal Order of Corn,
245
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:59,246
my trusted associate,
Simon, somehow got
transmitted to the planet Mars
246
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,015
no thanks to my
untrusted non-associate
247
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:04,084
who insisted
on being called Dash X!
248
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:07,387
Simon. Oh, man!
249
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,422
What is this?
250
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,826
Some kind of intergalactic
video zapping portal
kind of thing?
251
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,895
Yeah, but to where?
252
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,830
NED: To everywhere.
253
00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,932
What do you think
you are doing?
254
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:22,435
Do you realize how long
I've been working
on this project?
255
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,504
Yeah. What do you think
you're trying to pull?
256
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:27,007
I'll go call the cops.
Drop the act.
257
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,342
He couldn't have
gotten here
without your help.
258
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:31,578
I ought to ship
you both to Neptune.
259
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:33,881
Ah, no thanks.
260
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,216
Lack of oxygen
is bad for my asthma.
261
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,186
SIMON: Hey. What about me?
262
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:41,955
You shouldn't have
gone through.
263
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,390
It isn't tuned in yet.
264
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,493
This is unconscionable.
265
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,595
Look. I know
you're upset.
266
00:13:48,628 --> 00:13:49,963
But how do we
get him back?
267
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,100
SIMON: Is anybody out there?
268
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:55,535
All right.
269
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,172
You might as well know.
270
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,342
SIMON: Marshall?
271
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:06,914
Hang in there, Simon.
I'll be right back.
272
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:09,883
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
273
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:16,256
Well, I see someone
who's been doing
some research.
274
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:20,460
Yeah. Enough to know
you've been running
this Lodge for 80 years,
275
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,495
using those hats to make
people build this...
276
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,664
this portal
277
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,200
that's probably for some
alien invasion.
278
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,469
You're some kind
of advanced scout
for a race to
279
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,239
probably use us humans
for cattle or worse yet...
280
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,342
You're getting hysterical.
281
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,410
NED: Are you just
about finished?
282
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,046
Oh, you're right
about one thing.
283
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,881
I'm not of this earth.
284
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,251
No foolin'?
285
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,187
You're really an alien?
Yes.
286
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,555
But not an alien invader.
287
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,959
More of an
alien explorer.
288
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,961
That's what Cortez said.
289
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,096
So what? You're
like an astronaut?
290
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:59,266
Without a spacecraft.
291
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,002
Space travel takes
too long to get anywhere.
292
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:05,138
So our people invented
this tachyon portal.
293
00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:07,340
A door between worlds.
294
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:11,011
Only our first test flight
didn't work out the way
we expected.
295
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,713
And I was placed
in a place you
call Siberia
296
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,983
in 1908.
297
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,985
And the minute
I walk through
the portal,
298
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,219
it failed.
299
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,322
Big deal. All you had
to do was build
another portal.
300
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:25,225
I said I was an explorer,
not a mechanic.
301
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:28,295
And you don't buy
tachyon portals from Sears.
302
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:31,098
I needed to create
a whole industry.
303
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,366
First, by forming
the Lodge itself.
304
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,003
Then helping a little
thing called radio.
305
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,607
The Loyal Order of Corn
invented radio?
306
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:41,674
Not exactly.
307
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,045
We encouraged
a couple of kids.
308
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,981
Sarnoff, Armstrong,
and De Forest.
309
00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:49,616
Invested in the early
networks,
310
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:52,285
and also funded research
into television.
311
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,622
Now that was fun
for a while.
312
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,258
Of course I realized
things were getting
out of hand when
313
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,093
Milton Berle started
wearing dresses.
314
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:02,129
And now this.
315
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:06,566
One boy lost
on another world.
316
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:10,137
The whole project
threatened on the very night
it was ready to work.
317
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,073
What does his old man
have to do with this?
318
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:16,476
Your father is building
a universal tuner for that
screen in there.
319
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,646
My father?
320
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:24,017
Our VCR has been
flashing 12 o'clock
ever since we bought it.
321
00:16:24,051 --> 00:16:27,454
Well, looks like your pal,
Simon, is gonna be
in the reruns for a while.
322
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,689
Simon is doomed.
323
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:32,092
Unless your father
finishes his work,
324
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,694
yes, I'm afraid so.
325
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:38,065
MARSHALL: So all I had to do
was make sure my dad
finished that universal
326
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:41,468
tuner gizmo before Simon
froze to death
on the surface of Pluto.
327
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,671
Or before my mom and dad
murderized each other.
328
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:48,141
First, it was adjusting
to this paternalistic town
329
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:51,244
where your opinion counts
only if you were a man.
330
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,313
Then, it was this
stupid Lodge.
331
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,151
There you are.
332
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,720
Young man, do you know
what time it is?
333
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,223
Ah... later than
it should be?
334
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,426
Mr. Radford?
335
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:09,062
Splendid timing, my boy.
Your mother and I were
just discussing
336
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,697
the merits of The Loyal
Order of Corn.
337
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,565
I'm holding you
responsible for this.
338
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,334
I gave him a ride.
339
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,469
Gee. Try to be
a helpful neighbor and...
340
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:17,737
[CLATTER]
341
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,740
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
342
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,509
[WHIRRING]
Dad, is it finished?
343
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:25,345
Mom!
344
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,747
I have had it with
your... your Loyal
Order of Hooey!
345
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:30,783
Dad, tell her.
346
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,552
Mr. Radford?
Tell her what?
347
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,623
Tell her what
you're working on.
348
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:40,593
I'm not sure, but
I think it's a universal
remote control.
349
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:45,398
It can tune any TV,
VCR or CD player with
just three buttons.
350
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,268
[BEEPS]
Ha-ha! It works!
351
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:49,602
It works!
352
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,705
[CAWING]
353
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,474
You, uh...
354
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:57,810
you have a lot
of answers.
355
00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,746
Your friend had
a lot of questions.
356
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,315
Yeah, well, I have
some of my own.
357
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,454
Where do I fit
into all of this?
358
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,522
You are my...
assistant.
359
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:13,726
Possibly, even
my replacement.
360
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,828
So you're saying that
you'd have taken anybody
361
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,564
who answered that
"Help Wanted" sign?
362
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,467
Not just anybody.
363
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,369
No, no, no.
364
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,105
Why me?
365
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:27,874
I need to know.
366
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:37,150
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
367
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,693
[CAWING]
368
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:56,636
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
369
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:02,409
This is the big
Loyal Order of Corn
project?
370
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,544
Mom, it's for their
secret big screen TV.
371
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,379
Careful, boy!
372
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:09,516
You're divulging the inner
secrets of The Loyal Order
to a woman.
373
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:12,285
Fabulous.
Secret tuner,
secret TV.
374
00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,821
I think it's time
somebody let me
in on the secrets.
375
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,424
What is it about
you men and these
stupid hats?
376
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:20,260
Mrs. Teller!
Marilyn, my God!
In front of the Kernel?
377
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,495
Hail to Thee,
O Ears of Splendor.
378
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:25,365
Seedling Teller.
379
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,434
Come on, there are
shocking to be done.
380
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,274
Honey...
Mom...
381
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,410
The members were
so much easier
to handle
382
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,712
when I came up
with this and the hats
of course.
383
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:40,847
Oh, of course.
384
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,749
Now, we're running
out of time.
385
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:46,653
The planets are in
a once in a century
alignment tonight.
386
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,888
If I got through that
portal withing the hour,
387
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,957
I can get home.
388
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:55,462
If not... I don't know
if I can stand
another century.
389
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,897
Especially since Eerie
is getting wired for cable.
390
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,599
Ned!
Now what?
391
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,469
Now, Ned, I know we have
strict rules about
allowing women...
392
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,871
Yes, yes, but what
about the tuner, what
about the tuner?
393
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,539
It works.
Not a moment
too soon.
394
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,708
SIMON: Marshall!
I think she looks
great in a hat.
395
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,777
Please help.
Simon?
396
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,680
Anybody out there?
397
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,917
It's getting a little
hard to breathe.
398
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,853
Marshall. Dash.
399
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,755
What a great TV.
400
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,857
It seems almost real.
401
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,594
Yes, I suppose it does.
402
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:31,298
[BEEPS AND STATIC]
403
00:20:31,331 --> 00:20:33,333
Hey! There you are!
404
00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:37,737
[ELECTRICAL STATIC]
405
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,607
Marilyn?
406
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,509
Simon, how're you doing?
407
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:45,312
Great. If I had my mittens,
I would have been fine.
408
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:47,947
Now, what happens?
409
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,016
I... go home.
410
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,651
[BEEP]
411
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:55,322
[ELECTRONIC NOISES]
412
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:56,356
MARSHALL: Wow.
413
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,057
It looks neat.
414
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,792
You can go with me
if you like.
415
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:02,028
See other worlds,
other places.
416
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:04,664
Of all the humans
I've known, you'd
appreciate it the most.
417
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,034
Ah, no thanks.
418
00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,603
I've too much
to do here.
419
00:21:11,037 --> 00:21:13,005
What about me?
420
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,708
Aren't you going
to invite me, too?
421
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,777
I guess I'll just
have to invite myself.
422
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,312
What do you think
you're doing?
423
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:20,513
Look.
424
00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:22,682
All I got in my life
are questions.
425
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,384
Who I am, where I came from.
426
00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:27,987
The answers must be
through that.
427
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,589
You're wrong.
428
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,791
My destiny lies
through that portal.
429
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,460
Not yours.
430
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:35,895
Even I don't know
the meaning
of the marks.
431
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:38,331
Or why your hair
is gray?
432
00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:42,402
These symbols go back
to a time long before any of us.
433
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:44,904
And are as much
a mystery to me
as they are to you.
434
00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:47,474
I don't like
the sound of that.
435
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:48,808
Keep searching.
436
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,843
What you seek
is right here in Eerie.
437
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,615
The answer
to your questions,
438
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,617
is simpler than
you think
439
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,419
and stranger than
you imagined.
440
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:02,955
Just tell me
one thing.
441
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,025
Are you my father?
442
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,496
If only it were
as simple as that.
443
00:22:16,403 --> 00:22:20,373
[ELECTRICAL STATIC]
444
00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:29,816
[STATIC]
445
00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:35,455
Pretty weird, huh,
Mr. Radford?
446
00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:38,491
Well, still can't top
the Shuckers Bowlathon
447
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:40,693
we had back in 1974.
448
00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:42,562
Now, that was weird.
449
00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:48,968
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
450
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:51,538
MARSHALL: The next morning,
mom and dad claimed to have
451
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,606
no memory of the events
at the Lodge.
452
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:56,909
And Radford changes
the subject whenever
I bring it up.
453
00:22:56,943 --> 00:23:02,048
But that won't stop me,
Simon and our semi-friend
Dash X from digging deeper,
454
00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:03,850
because in Eerie, Indiana,
455
00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:06,185
when you scrape away
the surface weirdness,
456
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:09,021
what you find
is more weirdness.
457
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:11,758
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
458
00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:22,168
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
30282
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