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00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:04,138
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,536
MARSHALL:
Simon and I had
decided to make a
3
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,338
rare appearance
with the family,
4
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,608
stuffing ourselves at
the Dragon of the Black
Pool Chinese Restaurant.
5
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,244
It's a place where the
egg rolls aren't too shabby
6
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:46,114
and the fortune cookies
are the kind you can
only find in Eerie.
7
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:48,316
Mine says,
8
00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:50,050
"You will live
to tell the tale."
9
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,586
I don't get mine.
10
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,723
"You will see the world
through eyes of many."
11
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:58,392
MARSHALL:
Dad's fortune was
not only weird,
12
00:00:58,426 --> 00:00:59,827
it came true.
13
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:03,864
"Oh, your immediate future
will be interrupted by
a mysterious stranger."
14
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,566
Oh, how exciting.
15
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,235
[MARILYN SCREAMS]
16
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:09,637
CHAPPY: There's not enough
money in the world
17
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:12,506
for my medulla oblongata.
18
00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:15,809
They want my brain and that
is not part of the bargain.
19
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,812
[CHAPPY MUMBLES]
20
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,449
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
21
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,485
Yes, I'm fine.
22
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:27,888
It's just a crazy old
what's his name.
23
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,357
No harm done.
24
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:31,892
MARSHALL:
Some people in Eerie said
this guy was insane.
25
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,895
But nobody had ever
bothered to find out
who he really was,
26
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,530
or how to help him.
27
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:40,268
Ed Meese wants my
Sharona but no soap!
28
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,836
The poor man.
29
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:46,207
Shouldn't we...
Don't even think about it, Mom.
30
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,210
That guy is the
mad whacker.
31
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,578
SIMON:
Syndi's right.
32
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,814
They call him the Whacker
because he used an
axe to kill his victims.
33
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,649
Now, come on.
34
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:58,319
I've heard rumors that he was
Eerie's last living liberal.
35
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,154
What's a liberal?
36
00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:01,889
I'll explain it to you
when you're older.
37
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:04,758
Well, I don't care if he is
a liberal or an axe murderer,
38
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,428
I want you two boys to
stay clear of him, understood?
39
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:08,662
Yes, Mom.
40
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,268
My Sharona!
My Sharona!
My Sharona!
41
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,809
Come on, Marshall.
42
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,411
[MARSHALL SHUSHES]
43
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,846
Does he look like an
axe murderer to you?
44
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:28,416
Well, he's
shorter than most.
45
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,783
[TIRES SCREECHING]
46
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,222
[GASPS AND SHOCKED]
47
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,260
What the...
48
00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,831
You're not getting away
this time, baby.
49
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:50,404
Junior Police, halt!
50
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,974
What did you say,
little boy?
51
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,376
[FIRE ESCAPE CLANGING]
52
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,214
Hey,
53
00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:02,683
don't you boys' know it's
not nice to tease a
poor, defenseless woman?
54
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:03,784
Wow.
55
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,688
Boy, somebody's
in a bad mood.
56
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:08,722
[SIRENS WAILING]
57
00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:15,663
I'll be back.
58
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,635
I didn't know that there
was a Mrs. Terminator.
59
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:26,974
Is he alive?
60
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,141
MARSHALL:
We gotta help him.
61
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:31,011
Look, just forget the junior
do-gooder routine, all right?
62
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,346
Just, do like I do.
63
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,348
Ask yourself one
simple question.
64
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:36,650
What's in it for me?
65
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,819
Why don't you try
asking yourself
66
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,422
what if that was
you lying there and
you needed help.
67
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,692
I like my question better.
68
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,026
Look, he's all yours.
69
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,661
Me and sirens
don't get along.
70
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:49,630
MARSHALL:
Maybe he was right.
71
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:53,734
But anytime I see a guy get
roughed up by a lady with
a mega volt zapper thing,
72
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,603
I gotta find out
what's going on.
73
00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:57,738
Help me.
74
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,243
MARSHALL:
It was risky.
75
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,779
But Simon and I decided to
keep the poor guy safe
76
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,449
until we could figure out
the old who, what and why.
77
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:11,385
It made sense to not get the
rest of the family involved.
78
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,886
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
79
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,622
Come on Marshall,
what are you?
80
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,657
Some sort of
freak of nature?
81
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:19,026
Let me in.
82
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,661
Um... Uh...
83
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,363
Go away,
I'm shaving,
84
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,832
and it's my first time
and I need to concentrate.
85
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,034
Congratulations, son.
86
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,670
If you nick yourself,
87
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:32,806
just put a little piece of
toilet paper on the cut.
88
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,708
Yeah, thanks for
the tip, Dad.
89
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,644
[EXPRESSING MUTELY]
90
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,012
My Sharona!
My Sharona!
91
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:40,614
My Sharona!
My Sharona!
92
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:42,350
[BOTH SHUSH]
93
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,484
Give him a screwdriver.
94
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,718
It seems to
chill him down.
95
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,391
I almost got the knack
to take my cortex
for Sharona!
96
00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:51,792
Oh.
97
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:55,329
Maybe Sharona is his
wife or sister.
98
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:56,764
Yeah, maybe.
99
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,401
Oh, gross.
100
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,703
Yeah, we don't have
much to go on.
101
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,705
No money,
no ID.
102
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,006
Poor guy's got nothing,
103
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,942
except one
handsome haircut.
104
00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,780
And his shopping cart.
105
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,650
MARSHALL: Chappy didn't
seem like the kind of guy that
someone would want to kidnap.
106
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:19,387
But then again, he didn't
seem like an axe murderer
107
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,088
or a liberal either.
108
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,824
[DANFORTH SOBBING]
109
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,026
Oh, woe is me.
110
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,728
Oh, please, please,
111
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:29,997
can you help me
find this man?
112
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,599
He's my long lost brother.
113
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:34,101
He may be pushing a
shopping cart by now.
114
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,470
GUY: Hmm... No.
115
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:38,105
No? Very well,
all right.
116
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,708
Democrats.
117
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,511
This is the weirdest
town I've ever hit.
118
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:44,745
[DASH WHISTLES]
119
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,780
[SPUTTERS AND SOBS]
Oh, please.
120
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:48,782
Oh, please,
121
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,684
have you seen this man?
122
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,554
He's my long lost relative.
123
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:54,955
Cool the theatrics, Mom.
124
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,626
Well, well, well.
125
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:01,429
If it isn't the
little boy
126
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:04,131
with the premature grey hair.
127
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:05,899
So,
128
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:07,835
where is he?
129
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,137
Who?
130
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,573
You'll have to
excuse me.
131
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:15,709
I have a very poor
short term memory.
132
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:19,480
This refresh
your memory?
133
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,620
It's all coming back to me.
134
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,458
I'll bring Mr. Crazy
right to you.
135
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,759
5 o' clock.
136
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,994
The old mill
down at Highway 48.
137
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,063
You bring some more
dead presidents with you.
138
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:40,033
We're a lot alike,
Tinsel Top.
139
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,803
You're gonna go
far in this world.
140
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,879
I swear I did not make
sticky buns with Carol.
141
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,046
TV: But, did you bake...
142
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,615
What a liar!
143
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:57,150
MARSHALL:
The streets weren't safe
for our newly scrubbed pal.
144
00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:59,620
At least not with a
ninja grandma out there.
145
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,154
Fortunately,
babysitting was
146
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,724
one of the few things
Syndi was qualified for.
147
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,659
Uh, Syndi.
What?
148
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:08,629
This is Simon's
uncle Morris from
149
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:09,863
Latvia.
150
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,533
Uh, nice to meet you.
151
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,067
He doesn't
speak any English.
152
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,102
Oh.
153
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:20,908
The electron
modulator is finished!
154
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,576
Excuse me?
155
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,678
He speaks a
little English.
156
00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:27,114
You know,
electron modulator.
157
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:28,582
That kinda thing.
158
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,419
Synd,
159
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,188
do you mind if he watches
Todd and Donna with you?
160
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,560
Uh... I guess not.
161
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:41,995
Come on,
Uncle Morris.
162
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,063
Sit right here.
163
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,965
We'll be right back.
164
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:49,637
When are you gonna
give me some time, Sharona?
165
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,105
Ya, that's right,
Uncle Morris.
We'll be right back.
166
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,907
MARSHALL:
We didn't have
much to go on.
167
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:56,977
Just the word Sharona that he
kept repeating over and over.
168
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,846
My hunch was
169
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,549
that you could tell a lot
about a guy by what he
kept in his shopping cart.
170
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:04,217
Good old Uncle Morris.
171
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,086
MARSHALL:
Sure, there was
a lot of junk.
172
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,188
But there's also about
a dozen gadgets and
173
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,857
crazy inventions.
174
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,291
What's that thing?
175
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,627
I think it's an antique
thing called an 8-Track.
176
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:17,397
Knack.
177
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,769
Didn't Chappy say
he had the knack?
178
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,139
Simon, look.
179
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,908
There's a song
on here, My Sharona.
180
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:32,846
Boy, I've heard of
people getting a song
stuck in their head,
181
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,247
but Chappy's got it bad.
182
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,184
That's Toddski and
183
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,552
that's Donnaski.
184
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,590
They take your
185
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,057
brain, too?
186
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,862
[DOORBELL RINGS]
187
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,865
Don't you put down
Dr. Gladiator's big man's
retreat like that.
188
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,300
TV: It was a beautiful thing.
189
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:54,802
Hi.
190
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,169
I don't mean to
disturb you.
191
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,739
It's just that Simon might
have forgot to mention that
192
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,708
Uncle Morris needs
his medicine.
193
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,142
No problem.
194
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,945
We were just watching
Todd and Donna.
195
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,580
Ah, Todd and Donn yeah.
196
00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:07,915
Poor Donna.
197
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:09,717
She will never learn.
198
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:12,986
Uncle Moe!
199
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,922
Long time, no see.
200
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,024
My, how he
loves to tinker.
201
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,627
It's finished.
202
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,296
Well, at least we know
he's not a liberal.
203
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,265
You know,
204
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,567
I bet he's a nice old guy
who wants his stuff back.
205
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,205
BOTH: Syndi!
206
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,774
Syndi!
Syndi!
207
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,008
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
208
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,076
SIMON:
Call 911.
209
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,344
We're too late.
210
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:42,149
You're alive.
211
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:46,286
Is everything okay?
212
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,387
It's fine.
213
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,022
Why wouldn't it be?
214
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,858
TV: Strong and proud.
215
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:52,159
Where's Uncle Morris?
216
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,927
He left here
with your cousin.
217
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,195
That grey haired guy.
218
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,737
What the heck is going on?
219
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,338
Oh, I bet the
answers aren't here.
220
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,308
To the secret spot.
221
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,110
[DOOR CREAKING]
222
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,647
You did it.
223
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,348
Charles?
224
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:16,884
Charles?
225
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,285
Charles?
226
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,854
Are you in there Charles?
227
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:23,123
Donna's a fool.
Todd's a liar.
228
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,058
And I'm leaving.
229
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,360
[BANGS DOOR]
230
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,837
You know, if you
231
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,171
don't mind me asking,
232
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:40,140
what is it about this
233
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:42,976
Mad Whacker that is
worth this much money?
234
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,945
Mad Whacker?
235
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,247
This is no Mad Whacker.
236
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,316
This is Charles Furnell,
237
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:51,018
the smartest man
in the world.
238
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,720
CHARLES: Oh... my...
239
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:53,821
My hair hurts.
240
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,092
Yeow.
241
00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:02,462
Charles Furnell
242
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,832
was the youngest man
ever to calculate
243
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,967
Pi without scratch paper.
244
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,468
He was brilliant.
245
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,972
And very, very sexy.
246
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,241
In 1978,
247
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,710
he invented the
most powerful and
248
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:19,346
and valuable invention
since the atom bomb,
249
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,182
The Brainalyzer.
250
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:26,887
It could turn any
ordinary man
into a genius.
251
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:30,290
And any genius into... This.
252
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:37,798
I had the world
at my fingertips.
253
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,266
Everything was set.
254
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,002
Then, one day,
255
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,403
I returned from lunch,
256
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,305
the Brainalyzer
is destroyed,
257
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:47,007
the blueprints are gone,
258
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,743
and Charles
is like this.
259
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:51,979
My only hope
260
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,047
is that he has
enough brain cells left
261
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:55,348
to build it again.
262
00:11:58,451 --> 00:11:59,486
Wait a minute.
263
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:03,123
Maybe he already has.
264
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,226
MARSHALL:
It was weird.
265
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:09,997
We didn't have Uncle Moe or
The Whacker or whoever he was.
266
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,832
But we had all his stuff.
267
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,834
And what amazing stuff it was.
[WHIRRING]
268
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,202
Even more amazing,
269
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,970
somehow it
all fit together.
270
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,339
This do-hickey
271
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:21,408
must go into this
thing-a-ma-bob.
272
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:24,411
Yeah.
273
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,513
And I bet this
goes in here.
274
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:29,783
MARSHALL: Hey, I wonder
what this does.
275
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,190
Simon.
276
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,331
Uncanny.
277
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,834
An obvious symbiotic
trans-neuro conversion.
278
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,802
I knew it.
279
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,103
Simon?
280
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:51,204
Are you all right?
281
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,107
Who's Simon?
282
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:57,144
My name is
Charles Furnell.
283
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,546
And I'd like a cigarette.
284
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,187
MARSHALL:
Thanks to The Brainalyzer,
285
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,323
my nine year old buddy
Simon now had an
Einsteinian intellect
286
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:13,326
and a pretty snobby
personality to boot.
287
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,462
An attenuator rotor
288
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,866
made from an ordinary
distributor cap.
289
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,333
How ingenious of me.
290
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,970
Wait... Wait a sec.
291
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:26,139
You are telling me that
you are the smartest
man in the world?
292
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,908
Yes. Yes, I am.
293
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,042
Okay then,
294
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,978
what's 43 times 106?
295
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,480
4,452.
296
00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,115
You're a genius, Simon.
297
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:38,318
And because of
said genius,
298
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,953
your friend Simon
299
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,821
is actually on
this audio tape.
300
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:43,623
Once again,
301
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,159
I am Charles Furnell.
302
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:48,195
So Simon, I mean, Charles,
303
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,864
when do I get Simon back?
304
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:54,401
I am not abandoning
this boy's body.
305
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,870
And unless you can
assist me in locating
306
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:58,471
my rightful body,
307
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,908
I will gladly go through
puberty again.
308
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:01,841
Yeah, but that could...
309
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:04,411
I have been on that
tape for over a decade,
310
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,313
and I have a
lot of work to do.
311
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,415
By the way,
312
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:09,582
who's the President now?
313
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,185
George Bush.
314
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,421
Dan Quayle is the
Vice President.
315
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,489
This is worse
than I imagined.
316
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,391
I suggest we
pack up this gear
317
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,060
and find the real me
318
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,494
as soon as possible.
319
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,231
He made gadgets.
320
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:27,901
They were nothing more
than keepsakes really.
321
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,237
It would make
Charles so happy if
322
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,039
he could get them back.
323
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:33,106
EDGAR:
Oh, I assure you,
324
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,275
if they boys know anything,
they will tell you.
325
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,443
Oh, good.
326
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,345
Boys!
327
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,080
[WHISPERS]
Don't forget you're nine.
328
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,548
This is Miss. Danforth.
329
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:45,618
Hi.
330
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:48,121
That's my son Marshall.
He's shaving now.
331
00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:50,157
And this is Simon
Holmes, Marshall's friend.
332
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,559
Can you say hi, Simon?
333
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,595
Oh, I suppose I could.
334
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:59,032
As the late philosopher
Walker Percy said,
335
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,202
"Why is it you
can meet someone
336
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:05,138
"and in ten seconds,
337
00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:07,140
"know more about them
338
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,542
"then they will
ever know themselves?"
339
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,911
Hello, Sugar-buns.
340
00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:17,317
I mean, Miss Danforth.
341
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,087
Miss Danforth is that bum's
342
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,255
I mean, Mr. Furnell's sister.
343
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,424
She's come to Eerie to
care for her brother.
344
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,594
Care for him!
345
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,297
Using acrobatic
massage techniques
346
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:33,400
to swindle a
Nobel Prize Winner
347
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,602
out of his life's work?
348
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,371
That's her idea of caring!
349
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,044
Sorry.
350
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,112
Simon's not himself.
351
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,579
Well, I hope you
find him, Miss.
352
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,315
Simon...
353
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,483
Chappy...
354
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,085
Sappy, wait up.
355
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,487
That's the most dangerous
woman on the planet.
356
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,425
What're you trying...
357
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,193
You can't do...
358
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,228
What're you doing?
359
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:03,997
Hey.
360
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,666
Simon, you can't do this.
361
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,235
[ENGINE STARTING]
362
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,503
You can do this.
363
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,275
Who is that lady anyway?
364
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,776
That's no lady.
365
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,311
That's my wife.
366
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,417
MARSHALL:
If there was a buck to be made
by kidnapping Charles Furnell,
367
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:26,619
the grey haired kid was
sure to be in on it.
368
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:27,987
Even though we weren't friends,
369
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:30,657
it still bugged me that
all he cared about was money.
370
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,325
Careful.
371
00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:33,693
The guy with the
hair is kind of
372
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,328
whacko.
373
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:36,496
Don't worry.
374
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,533
[MAKING KUNG FU SOUNDS]
375
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:43,103
I know Tae Kwon Do.
376
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:48,608
These hands are
registered weapons.
377
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,645
Look, it's you.
378
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,418
Look at me.
379
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,687
I'm flabbergasted.
380
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,623
Remind me to join
a gymnasium when
all this is over.
381
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,293
Quick, the Brainalyzer.
382
00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:10,197
[BLITHERING]
383
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:26,613
Right, now let me see
if I got this straight.
384
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:28,415
I download your
brain onto this tape,
385
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,183
then I put the
headset on him,
386
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,718
then I switch to upload,
387
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:33,153
and then hit the power.
388
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,122
Isn't that obvious? Hurry.
389
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:38,525
Download.
390
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:54,641
Oh, yeah,
all right.
391
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,651
Did it work?
392
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,754
Bravo. I'm a genius again
393
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,256
We did it. It worked.
394
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,291
All right,
what's 824 square?
395
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:15,628
Oh, it's elementary. 678,976
396
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:17,864
Close enough.
Now lets' get
Simon back.
397
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,403
Wait, where's the tape
with Simon's brain on it?
398
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,471
It was right here.
399
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,506
You mean, right here,
400
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:28,408
quiz kids.
401
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,343
What're you
trying to prove?
402
00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:34,347
We'll let Grandma
Schwarzenegger decide that.
403
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,416
In the mean time,
one false move and
404
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,818
Simon here becomes
Vice Presidential.
405
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,287
Please, young man.
406
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,622
You are making a
grave miscalculation.
407
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,591
You must do
what is right.
408
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,193
What is right?
409
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,695
What is right?
410
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,630
Oh, come on. She told
me the whole story.
411
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,432
How you couldn't
handle the pressure,
412
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,834
how you went nuts.
What?
413
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:58,405
I invented the Brainalyzer
for the good of humanity.
414
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:01,774
To preserve intelligence
for coming generations.
415
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:05,445
And then that
great woman sold us out.
416
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,681
She negotiated a multi million
dollar deal with Ed Meese
417
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:11,384
to steal the 1980 election,
418
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:14,221
by pumping in MacGvyer's
brain into Ronald Reagan,
419
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,955
quadrupling his IQ.
420
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,490
So when I found that out,
421
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:21,361
for the good of my country,
there was only one thing
that I could possibly do,
422
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,396
and that was
scramble my own brain.
423
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,900
Destroying the
Brainalyzer technology
424
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:29,769
until now.
425
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:35,508
Why, Eunice.
426
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:38,578
Shut up, Babycakes.
427
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:42,815
Not bad, tinsel top.
428
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,517
Here's your Christmas bonus.
429
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:45,852
Thanks.
430
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:49,989
Now, make yourself scarce
431
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:53,460
while I get back
what's rightfully mine.
432
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,729
Just like that
433
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,998
you're selling us out.
434
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,733
Unless you've got
a better offer.
435
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,007
I didn't think so.
436
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,442
See you in the next life.
437
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,584
MARSHALL:
I guess when you're
all alone in this world,
438
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,753
it makes it tough to do
anything but think
about yourself.
439
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:23,890
Meanwhile, things weren't
weren't looking so hot
for Simon and me.
440
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,526
CHARLES: Darling?
441
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:31,731
Here, sweet pea.
442
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,436
Darling, don't do this.
443
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,605
No brains,
no wittinesses.
444
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:41,574
The boys at the Committee to
Re-Elect taught me that one.
445
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,310
Bye-bye.
446
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:44,644
CHARLES: No!
447
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:51,618
[GROANING]
448
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,797
Get back, you pigs.
449
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,367
Brainalyzer's mine.
450
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:08,835
Eunice?
451
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:10,470
Charles.
452
00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:12,339
Marshall?
453
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,541
Simon?
454
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,477
Please, Eunice.
455
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,446
Don't make the
same mistakes again.
456
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,349
I loved you once.
457
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:24,651
I never loved you.
458
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,686
You're a dreamer and a fool.
459
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:34,994
I got it.
460
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,535
Counting that money
just didn't feel right.
461
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:45,104
Way to go.
462
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,407
You shut up lady.
I've heard enough from you.
463
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,509
Wait. You're making
a big mistake.
464
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:50,843
It's me, Marshall.
465
00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:52,345
It's him you want.
466
00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:56,683
Huh?
467
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:58,585
Don't listen to him, kid.
468
00:21:58,618 --> 00:21:59,752
He's her.
469
00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:01,488
Nail her.
470
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:03,390
There's 1,000 bucks
in it for you.
471
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,662
Wait a minute.
472
00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:11,030
The real Marshall Teller
473
00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:12,532
doesn't have
474
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:14,434
a 1,000 bucks.
475
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:15,935
Oops.
476
00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:21,073
MARSHALL:
You can't underestimate anyone.
477
00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:23,075
The guy everybody else
thought was a bum
478
00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:25,412
turned out to be the
smartest man in the world.
479
00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:29,081
What's going on around here?
480
00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:32,785
MARSHALL:
And that homeless kid showed
that he had a heart after all.
481
00:22:32,819 --> 00:22:36,856
Still, it wouldn't be over
till we reunited everyone
with their proper brain,
482
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:38,725
a process that took a while.
483
00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:41,428
It's you.
484
00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:43,763
So why'd you come back?
485
00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:46,833
Well, I...
486
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,067
I just did like you said.
487
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,502
I asked myself what
488
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,003
if that was me
that needed help.
489
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:55,442
[SIGHS]
I must be coming down
with something.
490
00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:02,415
"You will see the world
through eyes of many."
491
00:23:03,450 --> 00:23:04,884
It came true.
492
00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:07,687
MARSHALL:
A few days later,
I got a package from Chappy.
493
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,657
He said he destroyed the
Brainalyzer once and for all.
494
00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:14,827
And that he and Sugar-buns
were moving to the country
to try and work things out.
495
00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:16,463
Oh, yeah.
496
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:18,064
Chappy also thanked me
497
00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:19,632
for stopping to help him out.
498
00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,012
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
31251
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