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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,304 My name is Marshall Teller. 2 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:07,475 I knew my new hometown was going to be different from where I grew up in New Jersey, 3 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,143 but this is ridiculous. 4 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,911 Nobody believes me, 5 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:15,083 but Eerie, Indiana is the center of weirdness for the entire planet. 6 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,150 [CAWING] 7 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,752 Item, Elvis lives on my paper route. 8 00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:19,820 Thank you, little paperboy. 9 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:23,291 Item, Bigfoot eats out of my trash. 10 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:26,694 Item, even man's best friend is weird. 11 00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,329 Still don't believe me? 12 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,530 You will. 13 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:34,468 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 14 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,733 MARSHALL: It's easy to believe almost anything 15 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:08,469 when you consider just how big the universe is. 16 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:12,740 It's even easier to believe the unbelievable here in my little corner of the universe. 17 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,176 That's why when Professor Nigel Zircon 18 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:18,512 rolled into town with his Traveling Museum of the Para Believable, 19 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:21,115 Simon and I were the first to know. 20 00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:24,652 USHER: There's room for everybody. Step right up. Step right up. 21 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,288 Hey, no cuts. 22 00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,756 Oh, I'm sorry, kid. 23 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,191 Official business. 24 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,226 What a jerk. 25 00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,661 Boys, show the Mayor some respect. 26 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:34,862 Oh, thanks Eddie. 27 00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,566 USHER: Step right up. Step right up. 28 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,169 I was born for this. 29 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:43,704 MARSHALL: Simon and I had come to the right place, all right. 30 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,474 Professor Zircon was a scientist, explorer, and 31 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,443 the world's foremost expert on weirdness. 32 00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:52,446 Something Simon and I know more than a little about. 33 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:54,615 EDGAR: It's unusual. 34 00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:55,849 It's neat. 35 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,718 It's El Gordo, 36 00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,221 the two headed sow of the Yucatan. 37 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,890 This is much better than our mouse in the pop bottle. 38 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,659 "Discovered in 1932 39 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:08,396 "El Gordo ate enough food each day 40 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,231 "to feed all the first graders 41 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,500 "in Normal Illinois for one week." 42 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,868 Unbelievable. 43 00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,370 I'll say. 44 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,507 I just love science. 45 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,709 I'm sorry, it isn't exactly science. 46 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,513 Call it whatever you want, 47 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:29,450 it's generating hubbub inside Eerie city limits without a permit. 48 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,788 MARSHALL: Incredible definition. 49 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:37,291 Check it out, you can see every detail. 50 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,261 How's he do it? 51 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:41,762 Ours always comes out blurry. 52 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,598 That's why he's the best. 53 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,467 NIGEL: It's nice to meet someone so young 54 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,202 who can appreciate good evidence. 55 00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:49,870 Allow me to introduce myself. 56 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,939 I'm... MARSHALL: Prof. Nigel Zircon. 57 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,542 We know. 58 00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,644 I'm... I'm Marshall Teller. 59 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:57,978 This is Simon Holmes. 60 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,513 Can I have your autograph? 61 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:03,817 So, you boys are interested in the para believable? 62 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,886 MAYOR: Excuse me, excuse me. 63 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,488 I'd like a word with you, 64 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,756 Mr. Professor. 65 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,758 All in good time, Mr. Mayor. 66 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,327 I have an important announcement to make. 67 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:14,762 [CLEARS THROAT] 68 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,330 And now, 69 00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:19,500 the world's foremost authority on para believability, 70 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,435 seeker, scientist, 71 00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:23,804 recent guest on The Tonight's Show, 72 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,807 Professor Nigel Zircon. 73 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,276 [APPLAUSE] BOTH: Yeah. 74 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,479 Citizens of Eerie, 75 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:32,513 Mr. Mayor, 76 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,316 let me congratulate all of you for showing the 77 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:38,952 courage to seek out the mysteries of the world 78 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:43,357 by visiting my humble museum. 79 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,859 If we open our minds, there's much to be seen 80 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,529 and much more to be believed. 81 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,365 In my unending search for the truth, 82 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:53,901 I have discovered an object 83 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,270 about to enter the earth's orbit. 84 00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,673 My colleagues at NASA have assured me that 85 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,275 this object is neither 86 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:04,945 American or Russian in it's origin. 87 00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:07,948 Therefore, this leaves only one possibility... 88 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,817 BOTH: Extra terrestrial. 89 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,286 Exactly! 90 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,788 It's purpose and its origins are a mystery. 91 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,858 But I have no doubt as to it's destination. 92 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:20,828 [STRAINING] 93 00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,433 According to my calculations, 94 00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:28,436 sometime within the next 24 hours, 95 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,970 this object 96 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,905 will crash to Earth 97 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:33,974 right here in 98 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:38,011 Eerie, Indiana. 99 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:41,315 MARSHALL: Finally there was somebody who I could believe. 100 00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:42,450 Better yet, 101 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,518 there was somebody who might believe me. 102 00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,358 Unidentified space thing. 103 00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,425 Three o' clock. 104 00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,367 Airplane. 105 00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,537 What if he thinks we're just a couple of kids? 106 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,040 We are a couple of kids. 107 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,977 But once th Professor sees the quality of our work, 108 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,512 he can't say no. 109 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,046 Right. 110 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,416 We gotta act like pros. 111 00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,685 Pros. Got it. 112 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,788 But you better do all the talking. 113 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,557 This should do all the talking for us. 114 00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,025 SIMON: Bigfoot. 115 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,661 Professor Zircon wrote two books on the subject. 116 00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:32,833 "Print taken March 8th, 1991. 117 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,135 "Mr. and Mrs. Walter Funk's backyard." 118 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,738 Finally somebody will know what we're talking about. 119 00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,573 Professor Zircon is the kind of guy 120 00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,509 who can help us blow the lid off Eerie. 121 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,276 MARSHALL: I wasn't so sure if 122 00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:46,380 a scholar and a scientist like a professor would have time to see us. 123 00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:47,681 But we had to try. 124 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,650 But we had to try because 125 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,485 for the first time since moving to Eerie, 126 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:54,855 there was somebody who would understand that Eerie is not a normal place. 127 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,390 SIMON: It's heavy. 128 00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:57,658 Simon! 129 00:05:58,526 --> 00:05:59,527 Careful. 130 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,361 I'm nervous. 131 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,498 Remember, we're professionals. 132 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,801 How does it look? 133 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,803 Don't worry, you're going to love it. 134 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,439 It's my best work yet. 135 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,140 They'll be lined up around the block. 136 00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,708 [BOTH CHUCKLING] 137 00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,478 Let's have a look. 138 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,447 Excuse me, Professor Zircon. 139 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,548 Beat it. 140 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:21,849 And don't screw up again. 141 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,453 Gentlemen, 142 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,455 how good of you to drop by. 143 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:30,724 Well, I know we just look like a couple of kids, but 144 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,993 we have some important things to talk to you about. 145 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,062 Got a minute? 146 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:38,165 MARSHALL: Who could've believed that he could be so nice? 147 00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:42,035 The man who had tracked the abominable snowman in Tibet, 148 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,637 dined with Pygmies, and 149 00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:45,773 pickled El Gordo. 150 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:50,177 The professor Zircon treated Simon and me like kings. 151 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,446 Therefore, it is our belief that 152 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,749 Eerie is the center of weirdness for the entire planet. 153 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,117 As you gentlemen know, 154 00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:01,522 what you need it proof, proof, and more proof. 155 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,990 I was hoping you'd say that. 156 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,165 A footprint of the mid-west Bigfoot. 157 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,233 Show him, Simon. 158 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,068 You found it here in Eerie? 159 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,203 That's right. 160 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:19,139 Your books came in handy when we were identifying it. 161 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,174 It's a left bi-pod with the opposable thumb. 162 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,078 It's a box of dirt clods. 163 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,148 It's broken. 164 00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:32,986 But it was just like you described it in your book. 165 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,022 [PILCE SIREN WAILING] 166 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:41,862 Is there... 167 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,030 Is there some problem? 168 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,698 Not for long. 169 00:07:44,732 --> 00:07:45,866 Deputy... 170 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,035 The problem is this... 171 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,038 Museum. Museum of yours is on 172 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,907 public property and in this town, the public is us. 173 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,243 Officer Knight, 174 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:57,745 read him the citation. 175 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,751 "Violation of 42a-77, 176 00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,553 "leaky oil pan. 177 00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:09,657 "Violation of Civic Code, PDQ-69. 178 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:14,528 "Unsightly display of satellite antenna in business district. 179 00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:16,664 "Violation of traffic code..." 180 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,638 This could go on forever. 181 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:27,007 [DERISIVE CHUCKLE] 182 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,809 Let's cut to the chase. 183 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,644 We don't like outsiders here. 184 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,312 Especially the kind that go around making 185 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,948 predictions about UFOs without a permit. 186 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:39,687 Let me tell you something about Eerie, Mr. Professor. 187 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,189 You know, people from these parts like to 188 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,857 breathe through their mouth. 189 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,894 They just do. Understand? 190 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:47,995 Let me handle this, men. 191 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,865 See, the point is, 192 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:55,335 Eerie is an All American normal town and we aim to keep it that way. 193 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,871 An emergency meeting of the Eerie Chamber of Commerce 194 00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,240 decided that you better get your... What do you call it? 195 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,275 My museum. 196 00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,344 Yeah, whatever. Get it outta here. 197 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,115 If this thing isn't off public property by sundown... 198 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:11,284 We'll track you down and write you up. 199 00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,967 MAYOR: See ya in the next life, Professor. 200 00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:31,238 Oh, ye of little faith. 201 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,706 [VEHICLE REVVING] 202 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,107 Sorry about that, Professor. 203 00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,909 [SIRENS WAILING] 204 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,178 That's okay, son. 205 00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,814 It's a small world filled with little minds. 206 00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,115 But I'm used to it. 207 00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:45,619 I'd love to talk further with you boys 208 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,820 but I must be moving on. 209 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:48,889 You're leaving? 210 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,158 You heard the man. 211 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,192 Wait a minute. 212 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,996 I know where you can park. 213 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,231 MARILYN: Oh, I'm sure my husband won't mind 214 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,400 your museum parked in our driveway. 215 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,903 It's a beautiful, uh, vehicle. 216 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,672 Really, this isn't necessary. 217 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,306 I'm sure Edgar will be home any minute. 218 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,908 Nothing unidentified yet, sir. 219 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:08,942 Very well. 220 00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,680 You are a hero, Professor Zircon. 221 00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,181 Oh, no, no, Mrs. Teller. 222 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,217 I'm a businessman. A scientist. 223 00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,285 But not a hero. 224 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,387 MARILYN: As far as those two boys are concerned, 225 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,891 you and a wrestler named Elginon the Invincible are it. 226 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:27,761 Oh, well, Marshall is a fine young man. 227 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,997 You and Mr. Teller are doing a first rate job. 228 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,132 You two are gonna have a lot to talk about. 229 00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:34,001 He's a scientist too. 230 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,337 Oh, really? 231 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,072 EDGAR: What the heck? 232 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,808 What the heck is that 233 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,076 rolling museum of the ridiculous 234 00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,112 doing in my driveway? 235 00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,050 Professor Zircon, 236 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:51,785 hi. 237 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:54,387 Hello. 238 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,225 I'm gonna eat outside. 239 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:02,896 [CRACKING AND RUSTLING] 240 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,809 MARILYN: This is very cozy, you two. 241 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,245 Mom, science isn't cozy. 242 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,148 What are we having? 243 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,450 Space noodles and moon sauce, sir. 244 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,153 Macaroni and cheese? 245 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,955 Go for it Simon. I'll cover for you. 246 00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,460 Thanks for the lovely dinner, Mrs. Teller. 247 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:34,995 You're welcome, Simon. 248 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,229 Mom? Yes, sweetheart? 249 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,802 How are dad and Professor Zircon getting along? 250 00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,907 Oh, fine. [WHISPERS] Fine. 251 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,279 [DOOR CLOSES] Project research... 252 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:53,413 Yes, that's right. 253 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,784 [SPOON CLINKING ON CUP] 254 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:00,854 Edgar is 255 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,490 designing a new food processor that has... 256 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,026 What does it have, dear? 257 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,528 We're trying to come up with a new speed, 258 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,364 something between whip and frappe. 259 00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,067 Nothing is as exciting as... 260 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:18,071 No, no, no. I have the utmost respect for your work, Mr. Teller. 261 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:21,174 Well, all Marshall talks about is your predictions. 262 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,276 I think it's wonderful. 263 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:26,814 The likelihood of a space particle actually hitting the earth is... 264 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,916 What, like 100,000? 265 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,417 And, how do you track it? 266 00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,321 Well, Syndi... 267 00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,123 EDGAR: There is not going to be any 268 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,325 unidentified space debris landing in Eerie. 269 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,960 [CHUCKLES] 270 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,029 And I'm sorry, 271 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,965 there's nothing wonderful about the boys wasting the evening in the front yard. 272 00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,300 I mean, why don't we send them out there on Christmas 273 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,369 to get Polaroids of Santa's reindeer. 274 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:54,374 I happen to know a little something about orbital mechanics and... 275 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:55,809 Edgar, please. 276 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:58,211 No dear, I have to make my stand here. 277 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,313 For your information, 278 00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,249 Professor Zircon, 279 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,952 I interned at the Smithsonian institute 280 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,386 before entering Syracuse 281 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,222 to do my undergraduate work on Archeology 282 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:10,557 and then... 283 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,995 [RHYTHMIC BEEPING] 284 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,298 Who's out there? 285 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:20,567 Professor? 286 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,974 [SHOOTS FLARE] 287 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,444 [DOG BARKING] 288 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,352 Professor? 289 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,094 [GROWLING] 290 00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,461 [SCREAMS] 291 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,564 EDGAR: Then I received the NASA scholarship to MIT, 292 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:54,501 where my thesis, Matter, What Is It Exactly? 293 00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,004 received rave reviews. 294 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,138 The space thing is here. 295 00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,140 C'mon. We saw right where it landed. 296 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,410 Shall we? 297 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,881 SIMON: Hurry. MARSHALL: This way. 298 00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:09,249 No, no, no, no. 299 00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:12,052 My experience tells me it's over to the North East more. 300 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,620 MARSHALL: No, no, no, it's over here. 301 00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:14,922 [CONFUSED] Really? 302 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,489 Come on. 303 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,425 Come on, Dad. 304 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,993 I'm coming, I'm coming. 305 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,662 MARSHALL: There it was, 306 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,064 daring us to believe. 307 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:28,068 The Professor, Simon and I are used to the unbelievable. 308 00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,270 Goes with the territory. 309 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,206 This is even more impressive than I imagined. 310 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,275 MARSHALL: But for Syndi, Mom and Dad, 311 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,344 this was big time weird. 312 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,987 Discovering the unidentified space object 313 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,456 was the biggest thing that ever happened to Eerie. 314 00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:52,692 Suddenly, the whole town was daring to believe. 315 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,063 Everybody was getting their 15 seconds of fame. 316 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,031 I mean, everybody 317 00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,600 It's too early to say of course, but 318 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,636 but this may change the way we look at the past, 319 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:06,606 present and future. 320 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,942 This is only scratching the surface. 321 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,979 You wouldn't believe some of the things that go on around here. 322 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,013 For instance... 323 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:16,149 You might say that we here in Eerie 324 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:19,953 feel that we each own a piece of this 325 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,423 incredible thing. 326 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:26,293 The genuine item does say, "I've been to Eerie. 327 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,028 "and seen the space thing." 328 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,096 Who knows? 329 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,697 Maybe this is our first contact with 330 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,465 life from another planet. 331 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:33,933 Don't you think so, honey? 332 00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:36,403 No comment. 333 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,673 MAYOR: What's the big whoop? 334 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,675 It's just some sorta 335 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:46,013 time capsule from another galaxy. 336 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,181 See, we here in Eerie 337 00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,383 are simple, down to earth folks. 338 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:53,220 Weird, bizarre, unexplained things 339 00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,255 never happen around these parts. 340 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,389 Now given that fact, 341 00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:59,192 I think that our last offer is more than generous 342 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:01,094 Well, I am very flattered 343 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,330 by your generous offer, but of course 344 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,965 this object isn't for sale at any price. 345 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,669 I know the guy that ran the Holy Tortilla Shrine, 346 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,371 in Indianapolis. Uh-huh. 347 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:13,173 He put all his kids through college. 348 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,381 Let us talk among ourselves. 349 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,217 Maybe we can improve our offer. 350 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,252 When's lunch? 351 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:37,397 What's the matter, Dad? 352 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,233 I'm in a tough spot. 353 00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:43,603 I know you don't like the Professor. 354 00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,605 No, you see, it isn't that I don't like him. 355 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,774 I just don't want to see you get disappointed. 356 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,642 I remember how crushed you were 357 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,045 when you found out that Santa Clause wasn't real. 358 00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,314 You stayed up all night in front of the chimney with 359 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,183 a Polaroid just to prove me wrong. 360 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,550 Then when he doesn't show up, 361 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,186 you refused to open your presents. 362 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,820 I'd a lot of fun with your train set... 363 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,289 Dad, he did show up. 364 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,590 My other camera was broken. 365 00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,193 But that's not the point. 366 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,494 The point is, 367 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,362 I saw the space thing fall from the sky. 368 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,298 I saw it and found it. 369 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,566 Just because it didn't happen in your laboratory, 370 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,834 doesn't mean it's not real. 371 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,404 Marshall, the man is a con artist. 372 00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,838 Everything, and I mean everything 373 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,540 in that museum is a hoax. 374 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,642 Even his name is phony. 375 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,244 You're wrong. 376 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,079 You're wrong and I'm going to prove it. 377 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,215 Marshall! 378 00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:31,284 Wait! 379 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,354 [SIGHS] 380 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,656 Well done, Edgar. Well done. 381 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,627 Marshall, 382 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,162 I don't like this. 383 00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,866 What're we looking for? 384 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,336 MARSHALL: The fact was, I didn't like it either. 385 00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,504 I didn't know what I was looking for. 386 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,573 But I had to prove something to my Dad. 387 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,108 And myself. 388 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,446 MARSHALL: Whistle if you hear something. 389 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,480 SIMON: Bigfoot. 390 00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,457 [DOOR CREAKING] 391 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:15,695 No. 392 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:17,264 What is it? 393 00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:20,833 What are those? 394 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,235 MARSHALL: They're pie tins. 395 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,438 And that's how he makes his Bigfoot prints. 396 00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,107 Dad's right. 397 00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,781 Yup. 398 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,185 Fake IDs. 399 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:41,554 I like it better when I thought all this stuff was real. 400 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:44,624 MARSHALL: Simon is the master of the understatement. 401 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:45,892 The more we looked, 402 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,194 the more we found, 403 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:50,497 until there was nothing left of Professor Zircon. 404 00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,468 "Operation Unidentified Space Object"? 405 00:18:57,404 --> 00:19:00,307 [INDISTINCT DEBATE] 406 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,808 MARSHALL: It didn't surprise me that 407 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,343 the powers that be 408 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,578 would try to rook the professor out of our space thing 409 00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,614 and use it for their own purposes. 410 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,889 You drive a hard bargain, Professor. 411 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,826 On behalf of the Eerie, Yoshizaki Consortium, 412 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,361 we're prepared to make you 413 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,263 our final offer. 414 00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,501 One million dollars 415 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,837 for sole ownership 416 00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,305 of this space thing. 417 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:36,909 It's a deal. 418 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,482 MARSHALL: Excuse me. Excuse me. 419 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,417 Excuse me. 420 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,319 Hey, we're doing business here. 421 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:48,555 Marshall. 422 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:50,823 It's a fake. 423 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,592 He's a fake. 424 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,427 What're you talking about? 425 00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:55,562 It's all in here. 426 00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,532 This... 427 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,768 This is an outrage. These are my personal files. 428 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,837 [BEEBOPPING] 429 00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,242 "Operation Space Object 430 00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:10,977 "will work best if we find 431 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:14,013 "a small, isolated town with 432 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,484 "an ineffective government and an overbearing, money grubbing Mayor." 433 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,521 Get that guy! 434 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,627 EDGAR: How're you feeling Marshall? 435 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,463 Crummy. 436 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,434 EDGAR: Yeah, I know how it is. 437 00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,838 I felt the same way after the Iran-Contra Hearings. 438 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,041 You know how you said I'd be disappointed 439 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,377 if I found out there was no Santa Clause? 440 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:46,979 Well, this is worse. 441 00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:50,817 I never wanted to be like Santa Clause, 442 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:54,854 riding around in a sleigh with a reindeer and stuff, but... 443 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:57,957 But I really thought Professor Zircon was somebody I wanted to be. 444 00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:02,695 Marshall, sometimes in life, 445 00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:05,965 it is going to seem like there's nothing worth believing in. 446 00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:09,969 But I want you to know, 447 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:12,605 there's one thing you can always count on. 448 00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:15,408 Something that's never going to change. 449 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,510 That's the fact that your mother and I love you. 450 00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:20,713 No matter what. 451 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:22,682 [SIMON BLOWS NOSE] 452 00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:25,885 Hey, Edgar. 453 00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,721 Marshall, 454 00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,357 I was just gonna throw this away. 455 00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:32,459 You want it? 456 00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:33,860 Sure. 457 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,497 Take care of it. 458 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,636 SIMON: Even though it's not real, 459 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,038 maybe we should still put it in the evidence locker. 460 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,542 I was thinking about that too. 461 00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:50,577 NIGEL: Psst. 462 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,547 What're you doing here? 463 00:21:54,581 --> 00:21:56,015 You're a... 464 00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:58,418 You're a good kid and you deserve a... 465 00:21:58,885 --> 00:21:59,886 An explanation. 466 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:02,555 Well, I could complain about my truck payments and 467 00:22:02,589 --> 00:22:03,923 my alimony payments, 468 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:05,425 but the fact is that I was... 469 00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:08,395 I was going for one big score 470 00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:10,597 so that I could retire. 471 00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:14,567 I'm tired of being the Amazing Professor Zircon. 472 00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:19,506 I just want to be plain old Phil Zirconowitz. 473 00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:20,873 But people look upto you. 474 00:22:20,907 --> 00:22:22,709 They think all that stuff is true. 475 00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,977 People believe what they want to believe. 476 00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,679 There's no such thing 477 00:22:26,713 --> 00:22:29,449 as UFOs or Bigfoot. 478 00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:31,684 There most certainly is. 479 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:34,754 Oh, this is Claude. There's something's the matter with him. 480 00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:35,955 Hi. 481 00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:37,390 CLAUDE: What's that thing? 482 00:22:37,424 --> 00:22:38,791 It's your phony Space Junk. 483 00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:41,694 That's not the space dealy I planted. 484 00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,863 Mine was much more realistic. 485 00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:45,765 In fact, that thing doesn't even blink. 486 00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,133 What is it then? 487 00:22:47,166 --> 00:22:48,701 Where did it come from then? 488 00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,570 [WHIRRING] 489 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:58,077 My, there's got to be a logical explanation for all this. 490 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,463 NIGEL: I don't believe it. 491 00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:26,973 SIMON: A real UFO. 492 00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:30,142 It kind of looks like a white dot on a black background. 493 00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:33,846 Well, at least it's proof. 494 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:38,485 MARSHALL: Our picture looked like every other crummy picture I'd ever seen of a UFO. 495 00:23:38,518 --> 00:23:40,152 It could be almost anything. 496 00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:44,156 But for Simon and me, it represented something very important. 497 00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:46,926 It allowed us to believe in the unbelievable again. 498 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,604 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 32755

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