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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,304
My name is Marshall Teller.
2
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:07,475
I knew my new hometown was
going to be different from
where I grew up in New Jersey,
3
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,143
but this is ridiculous.
4
00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,911
Nobody believes me,
5
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:15,083
but Eerie, Indiana is
the center of weirdness
for the entire planet.
6
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,150
[CAWING]
7
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,752
Item, Elvis lives
on my paper route.
8
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:19,820
Thank you,
little paperboy.
9
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:23,291
Item, Bigfoot
eats out of my trash.
10
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:26,694
Item, even man's
best friend is weird.
11
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,329
Still don't believe me?
12
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,530
You will.
13
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:34,468
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
14
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,733
MARSHALL:
It's easy to believe
almost anything
15
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:08,469
when you consider just
how big the universe is.
16
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:12,740
It's even easier to believe
the unbelievable here in my
little corner of the universe.
17
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,176
That's why when
Professor Nigel Zircon
18
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:18,512
rolled into town with
his Traveling Museum of
the Para Believable,
19
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:21,115
Simon and I were
the first to know.
20
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:24,652
USHER:
There's room for everybody.
Step right up. Step right up.
21
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:27,288
Hey, no cuts.
22
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,756
Oh, I'm sorry, kid.
23
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:30,191
Official business.
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00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:32,226
What a jerk.
25
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,661
Boys, show the
Mayor some respect.
26
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:34,862
Oh, thanks Eddie.
27
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,566
USHER:
Step right up.
Step right up.
28
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,169
I was born for this.
29
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:43,704
MARSHALL:
Simon and I had come to
the right place, all right.
30
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:46,474
Professor Zircon was a
scientist, explorer, and
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00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,443
the world's foremost
expert on weirdness.
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00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:52,446
Something Simon and I know
more than a little about.
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00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:54,615
EDGAR: It's unusual.
34
00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:55,849
It's neat.
35
00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,718
It's El Gordo,
36
00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,221
the two headed sow
of the Yucatan.
37
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,890
This is much better than our
mouse in the pop bottle.
38
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,659
"Discovered in 1932
39
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:08,396
"El Gordo ate
enough food each day
40
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,231
"to feed all the
first graders
41
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,500
"in Normal Illinois
for one week."
42
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,868
Unbelievable.
43
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,370
I'll say.
44
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,507
I just love science.
45
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,709
I'm sorry, it isn't
exactly science.
46
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,513
Call it whatever you want,
47
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:29,450
it's generating hubbub
inside Eerie city limits
without a permit.
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00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,788
MARSHALL:
Incredible definition.
49
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:37,291
Check it out, you can
see every detail.
50
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,261
How's he do it?
51
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:41,762
Ours always
comes out blurry.
52
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,598
That's why
he's the best.
53
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,467
NIGEL: It's nice to meet
someone so young
54
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,202
who can appreciate
good evidence.
55
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:49,870
Allow me to
introduce myself.
56
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,939
I'm...
MARSHALL: Prof. Nigel Zircon.
57
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,542
We know.
58
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,644
I'm... I'm
Marshall Teller.
59
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:57,978
This is Simon Holmes.
60
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,513
Can I have
your autograph?
61
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:03,817
So, you boys are interested
in the para believable?
62
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,886
MAYOR: Excuse me,
excuse me.
63
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,488
I'd like a
word with you,
64
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,756
Mr. Professor.
65
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,758
All in good time,
Mr. Mayor.
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00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,327
I have an important
announcement to make.
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00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:14,762
[CLEARS THROAT]
68
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,330
And now,
69
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:19,500
the world's foremost authority
on para believability,
70
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,435
seeker, scientist,
71
00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:23,804
recent guest on
The Tonight's Show,
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00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,807
Professor Nigel Zircon.
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00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,276
[APPLAUSE]
BOTH: Yeah.
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00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,479
Citizens of Eerie,
75
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:32,513
Mr. Mayor,
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00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,316
let me congratulate
all of you for showing the
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00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:38,952
courage to seek out the
mysteries of the world
78
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:43,357
by visiting my humble museum.
79
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,859
If we open our minds,
there's much to be seen
80
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,529
and much more
to be believed.
81
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,365
In my unending
search for the truth,
82
00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:53,901
I have discovered an object
83
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,270
about to enter the
earth's orbit.
84
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,673
My colleagues at NASA
have assured me that
85
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:01,275
this object is neither
86
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:04,945
American or Russian
in it's origin.
87
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:07,948
Therefore, this leaves
only one possibility...
88
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:09,817
BOTH: Extra terrestrial.
89
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,286
Exactly!
90
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,788
It's purpose and its
origins are a mystery.
91
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,858
But I have no doubt
as to it's destination.
92
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:20,828
[STRAINING]
93
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,433
According to my calculations,
94
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:28,436
sometime within
the next 24 hours,
95
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,970
this object
96
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,905
will crash to Earth
97
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:33,974
right here in
98
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:38,011
Eerie, Indiana.
99
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:41,315
MARSHALL:
Finally there was somebody
who I could believe.
100
00:04:41,349 --> 00:04:42,450
Better yet,
101
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,518
there was somebody
who might believe me.
102
00:04:48,589 --> 00:04:50,358
Unidentified space thing.
103
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,425
Three o' clock.
104
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,367
Airplane.
105
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,537
What if he thinks we're
just a couple of kids?
106
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,040
We are a couple of kids.
107
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,977
But once th Professor sees
the quality of our work,
108
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,512
he can't say no.
109
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,046
Right.
110
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,416
We gotta act like pros.
111
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,685
Pros. Got it.
112
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,788
But you better do
all the talking.
113
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,557
This should do all
the talking for us.
114
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:25,025
SIMON: Bigfoot.
115
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,661
Professor Zircon wrote
two books on the subject.
116
00:05:30,398 --> 00:05:32,833
"Print taken
March 8th, 1991.
117
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,135
"Mr. and Mrs.
Walter Funk's backyard."
118
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,738
Finally somebody will know
what we're talking about.
119
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,573
Professor Zircon
is the kind of guy
120
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,509
who can help us
blow the lid off Eerie.
121
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,276
MARSHALL:
I wasn't so sure if
122
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:46,380
a scholar and a scientist
like a professor would
have time to see us.
123
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:47,681
But we had to try.
124
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,650
But we had to try because
125
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,485
for the first time since
moving to Eerie,
126
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:54,855
there was somebody who
would understand that
Eerie is not a normal place.
127
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,390
SIMON: It's heavy.
128
00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:57,658
Simon!
129
00:05:58,526 --> 00:05:59,527
Careful.
130
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:01,361
I'm nervous.
131
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,498
Remember,
we're professionals.
132
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,801
How does it look?
133
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,803
Don't worry, you're
going to love it.
134
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,439
It's my best work yet.
135
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,140
They'll be lined up
around the block.
136
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,708
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
137
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,478
Let's have a look.
138
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,447
Excuse me,
Professor Zircon.
139
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,548
Beat it.
140
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:21,849
And don't screw up again.
141
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,453
Gentlemen,
142
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,455
how good of you
to drop by.
143
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:30,724
Well, I know we just look
like a couple of kids, but
144
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,993
we have some important things
to talk to you about.
145
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,062
Got a minute?
146
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:38,165
MARSHALL:
Who could've believed that
he could be so nice?
147
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:42,035
The man who had tracked the
abominable snowman in Tibet,
148
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,637
dined with Pygmies, and
149
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:45,773
pickled El Gordo.
150
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:50,177
The professor Zircon treated
Simon and me like kings.
151
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,446
Therefore, it is
our belief that
152
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,749
Eerie is the
center of weirdness
for the entire planet.
153
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,117
As you gentlemen know,
154
00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:01,522
what you need it proof,
proof, and more proof.
155
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,990
I was hoping
you'd say that.
156
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,165
A footprint of the
mid-west Bigfoot.
157
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,233
Show him, Simon.
158
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,068
You found it
here in Eerie?
159
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,203
That's right.
160
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:19,139
Your books came in handy
when we were identifying it.
161
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,174
It's a left bi-pod with
the opposable thumb.
162
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,078
It's a box of dirt clods.
163
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,148
It's broken.
164
00:07:30,718 --> 00:07:32,986
But it was just like you
described it in your book.
165
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,022
[PILCE SIREN WAILING]
166
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:41,862
Is there...
167
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:43,030
Is there some problem?
168
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,698
Not for long.
169
00:07:44,732 --> 00:07:45,866
Deputy...
170
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,035
The problem is this...
171
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,038
Museum.
Museum of yours is on
172
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,907
public property and in
this town, the public is us.
173
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,243
Officer Knight,
174
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:57,745
read him the citation.
175
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,751
"Violation of 42a-77,
176
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,553
"leaky oil pan.
177
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:09,657
"Violation of
Civic Code, PDQ-69.
178
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:14,528
"Unsightly display of satellite
antenna in business district.
179
00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:16,664
"Violation of traffic code..."
180
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,638
This could go on forever.
181
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:27,007
[DERISIVE CHUCKLE]
182
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,809
Let's cut to the chase.
183
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,644
We don't like
outsiders here.
184
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,312
Especially the kind
that go around making
185
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,948
predictions about UFOs
without a permit.
186
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:39,687
Let me tell you something
about Eerie, Mr. Professor.
187
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,189
You know, people from
these parts like to
188
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,857
breathe through
their mouth.
189
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,894
They just do. Understand?
190
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:47,995
Let me handle this, men.
191
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,865
See, the point is,
192
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:55,335
Eerie is an All American
normal town and we aim
to keep it that way.
193
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,871
An emergency meeting of the
Eerie Chamber of Commerce
194
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,240
decided that you better get
your... What do you call it?
195
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,275
My museum.
196
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,344
Yeah, whatever.
Get it outta here.
197
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,115
If this thing isn't off
public property by sundown...
198
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:11,284
We'll track you down
and write you up.
199
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,967
MAYOR: See ya in the
next life, Professor.
200
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:31,238
Oh, ye of little faith.
201
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:32,706
[VEHICLE REVVING]
202
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,107
Sorry about that,
Professor.
203
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,909
[SIRENS WAILING]
204
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,178
That's okay, son.
205
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:40,814
It's a small world
filled with little minds.
206
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,115
But I'm used to it.
207
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:45,619
I'd love to talk
further with you boys
208
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:46,820
but I must be
moving on.
209
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:48,889
You're leaving?
210
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,158
You heard the man.
211
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,192
Wait a minute.
212
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,996
I know where
you can park.
213
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,231
MARILYN:
Oh, I'm sure my
husband won't mind
214
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,400
your museum parked
in our driveway.
215
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,903
It's a beautiful, uh, vehicle.
216
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,672
Really, this
isn't necessary.
217
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,306
I'm sure Edgar will
be home any minute.
218
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,908
Nothing unidentified yet, sir.
219
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:08,942
Very well.
220
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,680
You are a hero,
Professor Zircon.
221
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,181
Oh, no, no,
Mrs. Teller.
222
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,217
I'm a businessman. A scientist.
223
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:18,285
But not a hero.
224
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,387
MARILYN: As far as those two
boys are concerned,
225
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,891
you and a wrestler named
Elginon the Invincible are it.
226
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:27,761
Oh, well, Marshall
is a fine young man.
227
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,997
You and Mr. Teller are
doing a first rate job.
228
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,132
You two are gonna have
a lot to talk about.
229
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:34,001
He's a scientist too.
230
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,337
Oh, really?
231
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,072
EDGAR:
What the heck?
232
00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,808
What the heck is that
233
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,076
rolling museum
of the ridiculous
234
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,112
doing in my
driveway?
235
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,050
Professor Zircon,
236
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:51,785
hi.
237
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:54,387
Hello.
238
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,225
I'm gonna eat outside.
239
00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:02,896
[CRACKING AND RUSTLING]
240
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,809
MARILYN:
This is very cozy, you two.
241
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,245
Mom, science isn't cozy.
242
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,148
What are we having?
243
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,450
Space noodles and
moon sauce, sir.
244
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,153
Macaroni and cheese?
245
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,955
Go for it Simon.
I'll cover for you.
246
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:33,460
Thanks for the
lovely dinner,
Mrs. Teller.
247
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:34,995
You're welcome, Simon.
248
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,229
Mom?
Yes, sweetheart?
249
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,802
How are dad and Professor
Zircon getting along?
250
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,907
Oh, fine.
[WHISPERS] Fine.
251
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,279
[DOOR CLOSES]
Project research...
252
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:53,413
Yes, that's right.
253
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,784
[SPOON CLINKING ON CUP]
254
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:00,854
Edgar is
255
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,490
designing a new
food processor
that has...
256
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,026
What does it have, dear?
257
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,528
We're trying to
come up with
a new speed,
258
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,364
something between
whip and frappe.
259
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,067
Nothing is as
exciting as...
260
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:18,071
No, no, no. I have the
utmost respect for
your work, Mr. Teller.
261
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:21,174
Well, all Marshall talks about
is your predictions.
262
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,276
I think it's wonderful.
263
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:26,814
The likelihood of a
space particle actually
hitting the earth is...
264
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,916
What, like 100,000?
265
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,417
And, how do you track it?
266
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,321
Well, Syndi...
267
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,123
EDGAR: There is not
going to be any
268
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,325
unidentified
space debris
landing in Eerie.
269
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,960
[CHUCKLES]
270
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,029
And I'm sorry,
271
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,965
there's nothing wonderful
about the boys wasting the
evening in the front yard.
272
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,300
I mean, why don't we send
them out there on Christmas
273
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,369
to get Polaroids of
Santa's reindeer.
274
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:54,374
I happen to know a
little something about
orbital mechanics and...
275
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:55,809
Edgar, please.
276
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:58,211
No dear, I have to
make my stand here.
277
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,313
For your information,
278
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,249
Professor Zircon,
279
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,952
I interned at the
Smithsonian institute
280
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,386
before entering Syracuse
281
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,222
to do my undergraduate
work on Archeology
282
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:10,557
and then...
283
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,995
[RHYTHMIC BEEPING]
284
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,298
Who's out there?
285
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:20,567
Professor?
286
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,974
[SHOOTS FLARE]
287
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,444
[DOG BARKING]
288
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,352
Professor?
289
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,094
[GROWLING]
290
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,461
[SCREAMS]
291
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,564
EDGAR:
Then I received the
NASA scholarship to MIT,
292
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:54,501
where my thesis,
Matter, What
Is It Exactly?
293
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,004
received rave reviews.
294
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,138
The space thing is here.
295
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,140
C'mon. We saw
right where it landed.
296
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,410
Shall we?
297
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,881
SIMON: Hurry.
MARSHALL: This way.
298
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:09,249
No, no, no, no.
299
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:12,052
My experience tells me it's
over to the North East more.
300
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,620
MARSHALL: No, no, no,
it's over here.
301
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:14,922
[CONFUSED] Really?
302
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,489
Come on.
303
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,425
Come on, Dad.
304
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:19,993
I'm coming,
I'm coming.
305
00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:22,662
MARSHALL: There it was,
306
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,064
daring us to believe.
307
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:28,068
The Professor, Simon and I
are used to the unbelievable.
308
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,270
Goes with the territory.
309
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,206
This is even more impressive
than I imagined.
310
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,275
MARSHALL: But for Syndi,
Mom and Dad,
311
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,344
this was big time weird.
312
00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:46,987
Discovering the
unidentified space object
313
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,456
was the biggest thing that
ever happened to Eerie.
314
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:52,692
Suddenly, the whole town
was daring to believe.
315
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:56,063
Everybody was getting
their 15 seconds of fame.
316
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,031
I mean, everybody
317
00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,600
It's too early
to say of course, but
318
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,636
but this may change the
way we look at the past,
319
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:06,606
present and future.
320
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,942
This is only
scratching the surface.
321
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,979
You wouldn't believe
some of the things
that go on around here.
322
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,013
For instance...
323
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:16,149
You might say that
we here in Eerie
324
00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:19,953
feel that we each
own a piece of this
325
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,423
incredible thing.
326
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:26,293
The genuine item does say,
"I've been to Eerie.
327
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,028
"and seen the space thing."
328
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:29,096
Who knows?
329
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,697
Maybe this is our
first contact with
330
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,465
life from another planet.
331
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:33,933
Don't you think so, honey?
332
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:36,403
No comment.
333
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,673
MAYOR:
What's the
big whoop?
334
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,675
It's just some sorta
335
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:46,013
time capsule from
another galaxy.
336
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,181
See, we here in Eerie
337
00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,383
are simple,
down to earth folks.
338
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:53,220
Weird, bizarre,
unexplained things
339
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,255
never happen
around these parts.
340
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,389
Now given that fact,
341
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:59,192
I think that our
last offer is more
than generous
342
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:01,094
Well, I am very flattered
343
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,330
by your generous
offer, but of course
344
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,965
this object isn't
for sale at any price.
345
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,669
I know the guy that ran
the Holy Tortilla Shrine,
346
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,371
in Indianapolis.
Uh-huh.
347
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:13,173
He put all his
kids through college.
348
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,381
Let us talk
among ourselves.
349
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,217
Maybe we can
improve our offer.
350
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,252
When's lunch?
351
00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:37,397
What's the matter, Dad?
352
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,233
I'm in a tough spot.
353
00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:43,603
I know you don't
like the Professor.
354
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,605
No, you see, it isn't
that I don't like him.
355
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,774
I just don't want to
see you get disappointed.
356
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,642
I remember how
crushed you were
357
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,045
when you found out that
Santa Clause wasn't real.
358
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,314
You stayed up all night
in front of the chimney with
359
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,183
a Polaroid just to
prove me wrong.
360
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,550
Then when he
doesn't show up,
361
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,186
you refused to
open your presents.
362
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,820
I'd a lot of fun
with your train set...
363
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,289
Dad, he did show up.
364
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,590
My other camera was broken.
365
00:17:04,757 --> 00:17:06,193
But that's not the point.
366
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,494
The point is,
367
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,362
I saw the space thing
fall from the sky.
368
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:11,298
I saw it and found it.
369
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,566
Just because it didn't
happen in your laboratory,
370
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,834
doesn't mean it's not real.
371
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,404
Marshall, the man
is a con artist.
372
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,838
Everything, and I
mean everything
373
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,540
in that museum is a hoax.
374
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,642
Even his name is phony.
375
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,244
You're wrong.
376
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,079
You're wrong and I'm
going to prove it.
377
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,215
Marshall!
378
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:31,284
Wait!
379
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,354
[SIGHS]
380
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,656
Well done, Edgar.
Well done.
381
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,627
Marshall,
382
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,162
I don't like this.
383
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,866
What're we looking for?
384
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,336
MARSHALL:
The fact was,
I didn't like it either.
385
00:17:49,369 --> 00:17:51,504
I didn't know what
I was looking for.
386
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,573
But I had to prove
something to my Dad.
387
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:55,108
And myself.
388
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,446
MARSHALL: Whistle if you
hear something.
389
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,480
SIMON: Bigfoot.
390
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,457
[DOOR CREAKING]
391
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:15,695
No.
392
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:17,264
What is it?
393
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:20,833
What are those?
394
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:22,235
MARSHALL:
They're pie tins.
395
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,438
And that's how he makes
his Bigfoot prints.
396
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,107
Dad's right.
397
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,781
Yup.
398
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,185
Fake IDs.
399
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:41,554
I like it better when
I thought all this
stuff was real.
400
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:44,624
MARSHALL:
Simon is the master
of the understatement.
401
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:45,892
The more we looked,
402
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,194
the more we found,
403
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:50,497
until there was nothing
left of Professor Zircon.
404
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,468
"Operation Unidentified
Space Object"?
405
00:18:57,404 --> 00:19:00,307
[INDISTINCT DEBATE]
406
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,808
MARSHALL:
It didn't surprise me that
407
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,343
the powers that be
408
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,578
would try to rook
the professor out
of our space thing
409
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,614
and use it for
their own purposes.
410
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,889
You drive a
hard bargain,
Professor.
411
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,826
On behalf of the
Eerie, Yoshizaki Consortium,
412
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,361
we're prepared
to make you
413
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,263
our final offer.
414
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,501
One million dollars
415
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,837
for sole ownership
416
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,305
of this space thing.
417
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:36,909
It's a deal.
418
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:42,482
MARSHALL:
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
419
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,417
Excuse me.
420
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,319
Hey, we're doing
business here.
421
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:48,555
Marshall.
422
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:50,823
It's a fake.
423
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,592
He's a fake.
424
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,427
What're you
talking about?
425
00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:55,562
It's all in here.
426
00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,532
This...
427
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,768
This is an outrage.
These are my personal files.
428
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,837
[BEEBOPPING]
429
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,242
"Operation Space Object
430
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:10,977
"will work best if we find
431
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:14,013
"a small, isolated town with
432
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:17,484
"an ineffective government
and an overbearing,
money grubbing Mayor."
433
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,521
Get that guy!
434
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,627
EDGAR:
How're you
feeling Marshall?
435
00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,463
Crummy.
436
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,434
EDGAR: Yeah, I know
how it is.
437
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,838
I felt the same way after
the Iran-Contra Hearings.
438
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,041
You know how you said
I'd be disappointed
439
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,377
if I found out
there was no
Santa Clause?
440
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:46,979
Well, this is worse.
441
00:20:48,815 --> 00:20:50,817
I never wanted to
be like Santa Clause,
442
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:54,854
riding around in a sleigh with
a reindeer and stuff, but...
443
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:57,957
But I really thought
Professor Zircon was
somebody I wanted to be.
444
00:21:00,327 --> 00:21:02,695
Marshall,
sometimes in life,
445
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:05,965
it is going to seem like there's
nothing worth believing in.
446
00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:09,969
But I want you to know,
447
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:12,605
there's one thing you
can always count on.
448
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:15,408
Something that's
never going to change.
449
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,510
That's the fact that
your mother and I love you.
450
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:20,713
No matter what.
451
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:22,682
[SIMON BLOWS NOSE]
452
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:25,885
Hey, Edgar.
453
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,721
Marshall,
454
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,357
I was just gonna
throw this away.
455
00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:32,459
You want it?
456
00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:33,860
Sure.
457
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,497
Take care of it.
458
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,636
SIMON: Even though
it's not real,
459
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,038
maybe we should still put
it in the evidence locker.
460
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,542
I was thinking
about that too.
461
00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:50,577
NIGEL: Psst.
462
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,547
What're you doing here?
463
00:21:54,581 --> 00:21:56,015
You're a...
464
00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:58,418
You're a good kid and
you deserve a...
465
00:21:58,885 --> 00:21:59,886
An explanation.
466
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:02,555
Well, I could complain
about my truck payments and
467
00:22:02,589 --> 00:22:03,923
my alimony payments,
468
00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:05,425
but the fact is
that I was...
469
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:08,395
I was going for
one big score
470
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:10,597
so that I could retire.
471
00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:14,567
I'm tired of being the
Amazing Professor Zircon.
472
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:19,506
I just want to be
plain old Phil Zirconowitz.
473
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:20,873
But people look upto you.
474
00:22:20,907 --> 00:22:22,709
They think all that
stuff is true.
475
00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,977
People believe what
they want to believe.
476
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,679
There's no such thing
477
00:22:26,713 --> 00:22:29,449
as UFOs or Bigfoot.
478
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:31,684
There most certainly is.
479
00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:34,754
Oh, this is Claude. There's
something's the matter with him.
480
00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:35,955
Hi.
481
00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:37,390
CLAUDE: What's that thing?
482
00:22:37,424 --> 00:22:38,791
It's your phony
Space Junk.
483
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:41,694
That's not the
space dealy I planted.
484
00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,863
Mine was much
more realistic.
485
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:45,765
In fact, that thing
doesn't even blink.
486
00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:47,133
What is it then?
487
00:22:47,166 --> 00:22:48,701
Where did it
come from then?
488
00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:50,570
[WHIRRING]
489
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:58,077
My, there's got to be a logical
explanation for all this.
490
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,463
NIGEL: I don't believe it.
491
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:26,973
SIMON: A real UFO.
492
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:30,142
It kind of looks like
a white dot on a
black background.
493
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:33,846
Well, at least it's proof.
494
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:38,485
MARSHALL: Our picture
looked like every other crummy
picture I'd ever seen of a UFO.
495
00:23:38,518 --> 00:23:40,152
It could be
almost anything.
496
00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:44,156
But for Simon and me, it
represented something
very important.
497
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:46,926
It allowed us to believe
in the unbelievable again.
498
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,604
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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