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1
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_
2
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Hey, sister, can I trade you a
doobie for a junior vegan sub?
3
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,177
It's against corporate policy to barter.
4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:11,679
But we do take Zelle.
5
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:12,763
Zelle?
6
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,432
Is that, like, another word for nitrous?
7
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:18,060
It's actually a pretty tight
digital payment network
8
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:20,938
run by a conglomeration of
the world's largest banks.
9
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:24,942
Hey, Hayley, why don't we have
a quick chat in my office?
10
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:28,112
I noticed you've been really
applying yourself lately.
11
00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,279
Thanks, boss!
12
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,740
That's not a compliment.
13
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,242
Are you old enough to...
14
00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:35,786
Hayley, do you know what the
"sub" in SubHub stands for?
15
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:38,288
- Submarine?
- No. Subculture.
16
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:42,876
Here at SubHub, we pride ourselves
on hiring punks, metal-heads,
17
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,461
and that one guy Amir.
18
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,798
I don't think Amir's part of a
subculture. He's just foreign.
19
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,216
Why split hairs?
20
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:52,344
Point is, you were hired
to be this branch's hippie.
21
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:55,139
But you're not a hippie. You're a poser.
22
00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:57,433
Whoa! Can you still call people that?
23
00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:59,893
Face it, Hayley.
You may dress like a hippie,
24
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,938
but you've been working hard,
showing up on time,
25
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:03,981
and what's worse,
26
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:06,650
you passed your last drug test.
27
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,777
- [GASPS]
- I'm gonna have to let you go.
28
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,196
Hand over your name
badge and tuna scooper.
29
00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:13,824
- But, boss, I...
- Your badge and tuna scooper!
30
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:15,075
Now!
31
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,870
[♪ THEME SONG PLAYING]
32
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♪ Good morning, USA ♪
33
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:24,043
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
34
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:27,129
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
35
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:31,467
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
36
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:37,097
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
37
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,683
♪ Good morning, USA... ♪
38
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:40,768
[ROGER] Ah!
39
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,397
[CHORUS] ♪ Good morning, USA ♪
40
00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,816
Not a hippie?
I'll show you not a hippie.
41
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,860
Ain't no one on this
block more hippie than me!
42
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,488
- [NOTIFICATION DINGS]
- Oh, hell yeah!
43
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,364
My Amazon stock just split!
44
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,117
Space Jam!
45
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,413
Hayley, this is an intervention.
46
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,581
You're a poser.
47
00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:04,458
You guys think I'm a poser too?
48
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,251
I just got fired 'cause of this!
49
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,212
We know. Mason called.
50
00:02:08,212 --> 00:02:10,839
But now is not
your time to speak, Hayley.
51
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,382
Now is your time...
52
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,219
to listen. Steve?
53
00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:17,429
Hayley, if being an invirg,
54
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:20,390
an involuntary virgin,
wasn't bad enough,
55
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,977
now you've made me a sibaud.
56
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,146
A sibling to a fraud. Klaus?
57
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,401
[SIGHS] I'll just go from memory.
58
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,071
Hayley, you're not
just any kind of poser.
59
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:35,531
You're a wack-ass poser.
60
00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:37,241
So the whole family's against me?
61
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:40,661
Not me. I'm actually really
proud of who you've become.
62
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:41,995
Oh, God!
63
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:45,374
- Jeff?
- Sorry, babe, but you're no hippie.
64
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:47,501
When was the last time
you stuck a flower
65
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,379
into a policeman's gun?
66
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:54,424
You're right!
I'm a poser, but I can change.
67
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,759
You will change.
68
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:58,470
And we know where you can get help.
69
00:02:58,471 --> 00:03:00,643
_
70
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,272
What the hell are you doing,
flower child?
71
00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:09,523
Get back in bed!
72
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,859
This is hippie boot camp, gotdangit!
73
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,111
I better not catch you
with your eyes open
74
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,113
till noon at the earliest!
75
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,948
- Sorry, sir!
- Don't "sir" me!
76
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:21,160
We're all equals and power
dynamics are an illusion!
77
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,453
Now drop and give me 20!
78
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,415
No! I meant drop acid
79
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:29,209
and give me a 20-minute
instrumental jam!
80
00:03:42,081 --> 00:03:45,835
It's not enough patchouli
until I'm ready to puke!
81
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:52,174
You call that a blunt?
It's clearly a spliff!
82
00:03:52,174 --> 00:03:56,470
This is my bong. There are many like it,
but this one is mine.
83
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:59,473
You know what,
maybe I'm not a hippie anymore,
84
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:02,142
and being here is making
me even more of a poser.
85
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,645
Oh, sick, bro.
86
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:08,107
I love watching chicks self-actualize.
87
00:04:08,107 --> 00:04:09,483
- Klaus?
- That's right.
88
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,944
I tagged along because
my authentic identity
89
00:04:11,944 --> 00:04:14,238
is as a sidekick and a sounding board.
90
00:04:14,238 --> 00:04:15,531
I don't know what to do.
91
00:04:15,531 --> 00:04:17,616
I was a hippie for years.
92
00:04:17,616 --> 00:04:20,828
But now I'm lost,
and I don't know where to turn.
93
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:23,873
You could always go to church with me.
94
00:04:23,873 --> 00:04:24,957
Ew! No!
95
00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:28,085
I know where you can get a fresh start.
96
00:04:28,085 --> 00:04:31,380
There's one place that
will always accept you.
97
00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:32,506
[PANTING]
98
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:35,551
And that, Hayley, is improv comedy.
99
00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:39,763
Wow! That was tolerable.
And are you Wayne Brady?
100
00:04:39,763 --> 00:04:43,893
I am! But I'm also
whoever you want me to be.
101
00:04:43,893 --> 00:04:46,854
You see, Hayley, a good improviser
102
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:49,106
fully submits to the almighty power
103
00:04:49,106 --> 00:04:52,610
of whatever a stranger says.
Let's practice.
104
00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:54,904
- Can I get a location?
- Mars!
105
00:04:54,904 --> 00:04:57,990
Matt Damon's already been there.
What else?
106
00:04:57,990 --> 00:04:59,450
Nope. Seen enough.
107
00:04:59,450 --> 00:05:01,869
I'd love to charge you 15
hundo for our intro course,
108
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:05,164
but improv is no place
for inauthentic cowards.
109
00:05:05,164 --> 00:05:06,665
Maybe try stand-up?
110
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:09,376
Great. Now what?
111
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:12,129
You could always go to church with me.
112
00:05:12,129 --> 00:05:13,923
Gross! Get out of here!
113
00:05:15,758 --> 00:05:19,595
Well... There is one place we could try.
114
00:05:19,595 --> 00:05:23,974
Yech! It's just the same
song over and over again.
115
00:05:23,974 --> 00:05:26,894
Um, it's a little
more nuanced than that.
116
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:30,064
Some of the songs are also
covers of worse songs.
117
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,231
Well, it's not for me.
118
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,734
Well, these tickets were 4 bucks,
119
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,153
so I'm going back and
getting my skank on.
120
00:05:37,446 --> 00:05:40,240
- So... Church?
- Fine.
121
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,494
Praise be!
Plus, I don't go to just any church.
122
00:05:43,494 --> 00:05:45,245
I go to Black church!
123
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,830
Like in the movies?
124
00:05:46,831 --> 00:05:48,784
_
125
00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:51,752
Let us pray.
126
00:05:52,795 --> 00:05:54,421
Is it supposed to be this boring?
127
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:55,756
I thought Black church was fun.
128
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,508
Not Black Catholic church.
129
00:05:57,508 --> 00:06:00,135
Black Catholics are notoriously dull.
130
00:06:01,303 --> 00:06:02,388
Who's that?
131
00:06:02,388 --> 00:06:03,764
Black Baby Jesus.
132
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:06,308
Not him. I mean the guy he's kicking.
133
00:06:06,308 --> 00:06:07,768
You don't recognize The Devil?
134
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,937
He got kicked out of heaven
because he was a fake,
135
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:13,190
waltzing around like a
goody two-shoes when he was,
136
00:06:13,190 --> 00:06:14,817
well, he was The Devil.
137
00:06:14,817 --> 00:06:18,112
Well, maybe The Devil was just
trying to figure out who he was!
138
00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:19,655
Forgive me, Black Father.
139
00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:22,491
I should not have brought this
white woman into your house.
140
00:06:28,872 --> 00:06:29,873
Good news!
141
00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:32,459
I'm not a hippie or a poser anymore.
142
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:34,962
I'm a devil worshipper!
143
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:38,215
Nice try, Hayley, but I think
you're gonna find it pretty hard
144
00:06:38,215 --> 00:06:40,634
to shock the unflappable Stan...
145
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:44,054
Black lipstick! Tell me when she's gone!
146
00:06:48,726 --> 00:06:49,852
Aah!
147
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,014
Yeah, that's right, I worship the devil.
148
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,601
And also, I relish in the glory of pain.
149
00:06:57,601 --> 00:06:59,895
Hayley, you're embarrassing yourself.
150
00:06:59,895 --> 00:07:03,148
You don't speak Aramaic,
you don't own a grimoire,
151
00:07:03,148 --> 00:07:06,860
and you've never severed a
wolf's penis under a waning moon.
152
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:07,945
Poser.
153
00:07:07,945 --> 00:07:09,029
I am not a poser!
154
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,280
Ooh! Owie.
155
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,990
I thought you relished
in the glory of pain.
156
00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:15,035
This is the same as when you
were pretending to be a hippie.
157
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:18,080
The outfit is fire,
but it's all a facade.
158
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,665
No it's not!
159
00:07:19,665 --> 00:07:22,417
I'm going to a meet-and-greet
for devil worshipers tonight.
160
00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:24,169
Then you'll see. I'll be the most
161
00:07:24,169 --> 00:07:26,964
authentic devil worshipper
you've ever heard of!
162
00:07:27,923 --> 00:07:29,758
Parenting is hard, Steve.
163
00:07:29,758 --> 00:07:32,636
Remember that before you start a family.
164
00:07:32,637 --> 00:07:34,917
_
165
00:07:39,142 --> 00:07:42,104
- Hey, Hayley!
- Tuttle? You're a devil worshipper?
166
00:07:42,104 --> 00:07:45,524
I summoned a demon or two in my day.
167
00:07:45,524 --> 00:07:47,359
Wait, you've summoned demons?
168
00:07:47,359 --> 00:07:48,819
Oh, yeah.
169
00:07:48,819 --> 00:07:50,779
I'm actually still pretty
good friends with Beelzebub.
170
00:07:50,779 --> 00:07:52,531
He owes me a casserole dish.
171
00:07:52,531 --> 00:07:54,157
I wanna summon a demon!
172
00:07:54,157 --> 00:07:58,078
Thing is, only real devil
worshippers can summon a demon,
173
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,372
or the consequences can be deadly.
174
00:08:00,372 --> 00:08:03,041
Oh, I'm for real.
175
00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:04,543
- So how do I do it?
- Easy!
176
00:08:04,543 --> 00:08:07,296
Everything you need is
in those scrolls over there.
177
00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,927
Aw. This demon's a cutie pie.
178
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,471
And to summon you, I need...
179
00:08:16,471 --> 00:08:19,016
Whoa, virgin's blood.
180
00:08:20,684 --> 00:08:22,102
Space Jam!
181
00:08:24,813 --> 00:08:26,189
Is that a tampon?
182
00:08:26,189 --> 00:08:30,110
Poser. Everyone knows devil
worshipers free-bleed.
183
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,446
"Tears of an innocent."
184
00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:35,949
Gotcha, dream!
185
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:40,037
Jeff, my mom thinks your hat is stupid!
I heard her say it.
186
00:08:40,037 --> 00:08:41,330
[CRYING]
187
00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:47,085
Ugh. "Slaughter a red fox"?
188
00:08:47,085 --> 00:08:48,295
I can't do that.
189
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:49,546
[FRANCINE] Hey, Hayley!
190
00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:52,049
You still down there being a poser?
191
00:08:56,678 --> 00:08:59,806
Pops, you know that job I applied for?
I got it.
192
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,434
So I gotta pack up and
move to another forest.
193
00:09:02,434 --> 00:09:04,061
Wait, you can't leave me!
194
00:09:04,061 --> 00:09:05,812
Haven't you heard you're supposed to
195
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:08,440
stick by your father in
sickness and in health?
196
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:09,983
That's for married couples.
197
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,318
Marry me, son.
198
00:09:12,569 --> 00:09:14,654
Listen, Pops, I'm moving out.
199
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:15,906
You see that?
200
00:09:15,906 --> 00:09:18,825
The dummy of my loins is
abandoning his father!
201
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,495
Uh-oh, I think
I'm having a heart attack!
202
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:23,330
This is the big one, Elizabeth!
203
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:25,749
I'm coming to join you, honey!
204
00:09:29,753 --> 00:09:32,714
Well... I didn't slaughter it.
205
00:09:32,714 --> 00:09:34,800
But I am stepping on its tail!
206
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,510
This has gotta be good enough!
207
00:09:50,774 --> 00:09:52,401
[CHANTING]
208
00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,377
It is I, Xnzux!
209
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:13,630
Archduke of
Inter-Dimensional Space Hell!
210
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:14,714
Space what now?
211
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,341
Space Hell!
212
00:10:16,341 --> 00:10:19,928
You know.
Hellraiser, Event Horizon, etcetera.
213
00:10:19,928 --> 00:10:22,222
Who has summoned me?
214
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,891
Not me, I was trying to
summon this cute little...
215
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:28,103
I mean... I did summon you!
216
00:10:28,103 --> 00:10:29,688
Me! The summoner!
217
00:10:29,688 --> 00:10:31,898
Then you will face me in a challenge
218
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,734
decided by your very first utterance.
219
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:37,529
Like in Ghostbusters!
220
00:10:37,529 --> 00:10:38,613
Space Jam?
221
00:10:38,613 --> 00:10:42,075
So it shall be done.
222
00:10:45,328 --> 00:10:48,707
I shall summon Looney
Tunes on your behalf,
223
00:10:48,707 --> 00:10:51,918
that we might face off in a Space Jam
224
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:55,755
when the stars align
under the darkest of skies
225
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:59,468
lit only by an impending blood moon!
226
00:10:59,468 --> 00:11:02,012
It's on! Wait, is that a Thursday?
227
00:11:02,012 --> 00:11:04,931
- 'Cause I got hot yoga on Thursday...
- Should you lose,
228
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,934
I will drag Langley to Space Hell!
229
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:10,020
What? I gotta warn people!
230
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:12,772
I mean, yeah. I would.
231
00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:15,317
Okay, so don't be mad,
232
00:11:15,317 --> 00:11:19,362
but I accidentally summoned
inter-dimensional space demons!
233
00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:20,697
Come on, Hayley...
234
00:11:20,697 --> 00:11:23,158
If you don't believe me,
just check the basement.
235
00:11:27,704 --> 00:11:29,789
[XNZUX] It is I, Xnzux!
236
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:32,542
[SCREAMING]
237
00:11:32,542 --> 00:11:37,797
Hayley! You summoned a basketball team
worth of demons into our basement!
238
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,799
Do you know how dangerous that is?
239
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:41,801
Of course I know it's dangerous!
240
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,845
They said they're gonna
drag us all to Space Hell
241
00:11:43,845 --> 00:11:45,096
if I don't win at Space Jam,
242
00:11:45,096 --> 00:11:46,681
- which is when...
- Please, Hayley.
243
00:11:46,681 --> 00:11:48,683
Everyone knows what a Space Jam is.
244
00:11:48,683 --> 00:11:51,228
Yeah! Sounds kinda rad, actually.
245
00:11:51,228 --> 00:11:52,812
It's not rad!
246
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,565
- The whole town is in danger!
- But only if you lose, right?
247
00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:56,650
Well, yeah, but...
248
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:58,693
You could easily win a Space Jam.
249
00:11:58,693 --> 00:12:02,614
And it's not like the demons are affecting
anything by being in this dimension.
250
00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:09,621
Holy Hell! It's raining blood!
251
00:12:09,621 --> 00:12:12,666
This is why I got into this business!
252
00:12:14,543 --> 00:12:16,127
So the blood rain is because
253
00:12:16,127 --> 00:12:19,130
you summoned inter-dimensional
space demons, huh?
254
00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:20,382
That's hard to believe.
255
00:12:20,382 --> 00:12:21,508
But it's true!
256
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,134
Hayley,
I've been your neighbor for years.
257
00:12:23,134 --> 00:12:26,429
I say this gently,
but you're a bit of a wack-ass poser.
258
00:12:26,429 --> 00:12:28,348
She's being real this time!
259
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,766
We saw the demons too!
260
00:12:29,766 --> 00:12:32,018
You see? The demons are real,
261
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,937
and they're gonna drag
us all to Space Hell
262
00:12:33,937 --> 00:12:35,647
if I don't win the Space Jam!
263
00:12:35,647 --> 00:12:37,232
Sure, but only if you lose.
264
00:12:37,232 --> 00:12:39,401
Do you believe in
yourself as an athlete?
265
00:12:39,401 --> 00:12:41,111
[HAYLEY] Of course.
266
00:12:41,111 --> 00:12:43,113
[MEMPHIS] And could you lead
the home team to victory?
267
00:12:43,113 --> 00:12:44,531
[HAYLEY] Like no one else!
268
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,825
I'm the Michael Jordan of Langley Falls!
269
00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:50,412
Then it sounds like we have nothing
to worry about, so long as you win.
270
00:12:50,412 --> 00:12:51,997
Which she will!
271
00:12:51,997 --> 00:12:54,749
[STEVE] How could Langley lose
with Bugs Bunny on our side?
272
00:12:54,749 --> 00:12:56,251
Yeah.
273
00:12:56,251 --> 00:12:59,504
Me and Bugs versus a
sack of punk-ass demons?
274
00:12:59,504 --> 00:13:01,339
That's what's up, Doc!
275
00:13:02,424 --> 00:13:04,551
I'm about to embarrass
y'all on the court!
276
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,637
All of Langley's behind me!
There's no way I can lose!
277
00:13:10,265 --> 00:13:13,435
You really thought we
were gonna do a Space Jam?
278
00:13:13,435 --> 00:13:15,562
With you? A poser?
279
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,397
We were clowning you!
280
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,358
We know you didn't really
slaughter that fox,
281
00:13:20,358 --> 00:13:24,571
and now everyone else will
know that you're a total fake.
282
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,573
You guys are being really mean!
283
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,408
Aw, thank you!
284
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:31,328
And the blood rain wasn't us.
That was Monsanto.
285
00:13:40,128 --> 00:13:41,921
Roger, where have you been?
286
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,174
Brushing up on some
of my lesser personas.
287
00:13:44,174 --> 00:13:45,842
- What's with the tizzy?
- I accidentally
288
00:13:45,842 --> 00:13:48,053
summoned inter-dimensional
space demons who...
289
00:13:48,053 --> 00:13:50,096
Duped you into thinking
they'd do a Space Jam
290
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:52,098
then pulled out to
expose you as a poser?
291
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:53,266
Tale as old as time.
292
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:56,728
- So... no Space Jam?
- No.
293
00:13:56,728 --> 00:13:58,188
Yes, Space Jam.
294
00:13:58,188 --> 00:14:00,607
We're gonna fake a Space Jam!
295
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,318
What? That verges on the ridiculous!
296
00:14:03,318 --> 00:14:06,780
No, she's right.
If you don't pull this off,
297
00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,448
no matter where you go,
298
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,368
you'll always be the
girl who cried Space Jam.
299
00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:13,620
But how do we fake a Space Jam?
300
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,039
With the help of the realest guy I know,
301
00:14:16,039 --> 00:14:17,415
Wayne Brady.
302
00:14:17,415 --> 00:14:19,376
His improv team could
dress up as demons,
303
00:14:19,376 --> 00:14:21,127
and we could dress up
as the Looney Tunes!
304
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:25,423
I could write an "I Believe I Can Fly"
type inspirational banger!
305
00:14:25,423 --> 00:14:27,050
I could help with the costumes!
306
00:14:27,050 --> 00:14:28,927
And I could make snacks!
307
00:14:28,927 --> 00:14:30,345
Actually, if I'm being realistic,
308
00:14:30,345 --> 00:14:32,097
I'm not going to make snacks.
309
00:14:32,097 --> 00:14:35,517
All right!
We're gonna fake us a Space Jam!
310
00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:39,020
Roger, we'll need costumes for
inter-dimensional space demons.
311
00:14:39,020 --> 00:14:40,814
Bugs Bunny, Taz...
312
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:42,190
I'm a lawyer,
313
00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:43,942
here on behalf of Disney,
Warner Brothers,
314
00:14:43,942 --> 00:14:46,486
and whatever companies Disney
and Warner don't own yet.
315
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,655
I'll be attending the Space Jam,
316
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:51,783
and if I catch so much as a
whiff of copyright infringement,
317
00:14:51,783 --> 00:14:53,576
you're going to jail.
318
00:14:53,576 --> 00:14:56,287
So either keep it in the public
domain or off the basketball court.
319
00:14:58,081 --> 00:14:59,791
Oh, man, we're so screwed!
320
00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:03,336
Relax. Sometimes constraints
can focus you. When's the game?
321
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:06,423
It's when the stars align
under the darkest of skies
322
00:15:06,423 --> 00:15:09,092
lit only by an impending blood moon.
323
00:15:09,092 --> 00:15:10,963
That's a weird way to say tomorrow.
324
00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:14,681
What's up, Langley! I'm Charles Barkley,
325
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,182
and this is a Space Jam.
326
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,642
Visiting from another dimension
327
00:15:17,642 --> 00:15:21,062
that's Hell-ish but not
quite technically Hell,
328
00:15:21,062 --> 00:15:24,441
let's hear it for the demons!
329
00:15:27,152 --> 00:15:29,028
[BOOING]
330
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:30,363
- [CHEERING]
- All right!
331
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:33,032
And now, leading the home team,
332
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:36,536
give it up for Hayley Smith!
333
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,288
Due to a scheduling conflict,
334
00:15:38,288 --> 00:15:40,206
the Looney Tunes
couldn't be here tonight.
335
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:44,127
But Langley's team is still packed
with public domain favorites such as
336
00:15:44,127 --> 00:15:49,382
Popeye The Sailor Man's girlfriend
Olive Oyl's brother Castor Oyl!
337
00:15:53,136 --> 00:15:54,596
More like Ass Hair Oyl,
338
00:15:54,596 --> 00:15:56,681
because it smells like balls in here.
339
00:15:56,681 --> 00:16:01,770
[CHARLES] From a comic strip I've been
assured once existed, Boob McNutt?
340
00:16:03,271 --> 00:16:04,898
Not even a giggle?
341
00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:07,275
Boob McNutt's a funny name!
342
00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:08,902
[CHARLES] Next up,
343
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:12,572
Frankenstein's Monster!
344
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:16,743
The crowd is going wild for a
character they finally recognize!
345
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,912
Dad! Lose the bolts in your neck!
346
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:22,707
Universal Studios owns the
rights to bolt-neck Frankenstein!
347
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:29,088
[CHARLES] And last but not least,
348
00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:31,049
Felix the Cat!
349
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,259
Wait, who's in that one?
350
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:35,261
- Klaus.
- How's he moving around?
351
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:36,554
His driving cane.
352
00:16:36,554 --> 00:16:38,264
Ah.
353
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:42,060
Before we get started, how about
a suggestion from the audience?
354
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:43,978
I have a suggestion.
355
00:16:43,978 --> 00:16:45,480
Win!
356
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,774
So it shall be done.
357
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:57,408
Great, of course
basketball's your thing!
358
00:16:57,408 --> 00:16:59,410
Nope! Never touched a basketball before.
359
00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:03,957
This is just what happens when you give
yourself over to the power of improv.
360
00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:05,792
But you said you'd let us win!
361
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:09,337
Sorry, hope you brought
your A-game, bitch.
362
00:17:09,337 --> 00:17:11,089
Okay, I want a clean game.
363
00:17:11,089 --> 00:17:13,967
It's Space Jam rules,
so pretty much anything goes.
364
00:17:18,388 --> 00:17:19,806
Aah! Steve!
365
00:17:21,224 --> 00:17:25,353
♪ If I ascertain it ♪
366
00:17:25,353 --> 00:17:29,148
♪ I might could do it ♪
367
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:31,609
♪ If I just discern it ♪
368
00:17:32,402 --> 00:17:35,572
♪ Possibly I'll achieve it ♪
369
00:17:35,572 --> 00:17:39,617
♪ I perceive that I ♪
370
00:17:39,617 --> 00:17:43,204
♪ Might be capable of flight ♪
371
00:17:43,204 --> 00:17:47,333
♪ I wrote this song just yesterday ♪
372
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:50,962
♪ It's pretty good considering ♪
373
00:17:50,962 --> 00:17:53,923
♪ There's a chance I'll ascend ♪
374
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,678
♪ Langley may win in the end ♪
375
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:05,852
♪ I perceive that I ♪
376
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:10,523
♪ Might be capable of flight ♪
377
00:18:11,649 --> 00:18:12,692
Whoo!
378
00:18:15,820 --> 00:18:17,071
[YELLING]
379
00:18:19,115 --> 00:18:21,534
What does Castor Oyl even do?
380
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,037
I don't know!
We couldn't find clips of him online.
381
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:25,288
We just know he's from Popeye.
382
00:18:25,288 --> 00:18:26,873
Popeye...
383
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,082
I've got it!
384
00:18:31,085 --> 00:18:32,545
[STUTTERING]
385
00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:35,673
That's copyright infringement, folks!
Hope you like jail.
386
00:18:37,675 --> 00:18:40,261
Hey, Ref! We're down a player!
We gotta sub someone in!
387
00:18:40,261 --> 00:18:42,221
It's Space Jam rules. Do whatever.
388
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:43,973
Steve! Plan B!
389
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,269
Folks, please welcome,
390
00:18:48,269 --> 00:18:50,897
all the way from the year 1918,
391
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,483
it's Koko the Clown!
392
00:18:59,695 --> 00:19:00,850
_
393
00:19:04,661 --> 00:19:07,997
Wow, I did a really great
job on these costumes.
394
00:19:07,997 --> 00:19:11,334
With time running out,
the Demonstars lead the...
395
00:19:11,334 --> 00:19:12,961
whoever these guys are...
396
00:19:12,961 --> 00:19:14,212
by one point!
397
00:19:14,212 --> 00:19:16,047
I can't lose, Hayley.
398
00:19:16,047 --> 00:19:18,508
I'm an improvisor.
399
00:19:18,508 --> 00:19:20,551
You're just a phony.
400
00:19:20,551 --> 00:19:23,221
Nuh-uh! I'm...
401
00:19:23,221 --> 00:19:25,515
I'm Hayley Smith!
402
00:19:28,184 --> 00:19:30,061
[ALL GASP]
403
00:19:30,061 --> 00:19:31,813
- [BUZZER SOUNDS]
- Space Jam.
404
00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:34,899
[CROWD CHEERING]
405
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:38,653
- [ALL CHEERING]
- We did it!
406
00:19:46,369 --> 00:19:49,122
It is I, Xnzux!
407
00:19:49,122 --> 00:19:50,164
[CROWD GASPS]
408
00:19:50,164 --> 00:19:51,249
[SIGHING]
409
00:19:51,249 --> 00:19:52,542
- [ALL GASP]
- Aah!
410
00:19:54,836 --> 00:19:58,423
That's right, Langley!
You've been played as fools!
411
00:19:58,423 --> 00:20:00,842
This wasn't a real Space Jam!
412
00:20:00,842 --> 00:20:03,636
No shit! You think we're all idiots?
413
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,389
Wait, you knew this game was fake?
414
00:20:06,389 --> 00:20:08,182
That Hayley was still a fraud?
415
00:20:08,182 --> 00:20:09,642
Yeah, but so what?
416
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,144
She was entertaining!
417
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:13,855
This Space Jam got the
whole community together,
418
00:20:13,855 --> 00:20:16,315
it was an excuse to
get out of the house,
419
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:18,943
and it made Ma happy.
420
00:20:18,943 --> 00:20:24,365
Besides, Hayley is just a
19 or maybe 22-year-old kid.
421
00:20:24,365 --> 00:20:26,117
Yeah, he's right!
422
00:20:26,117 --> 00:20:27,577
We're sorry, Hayley.
423
00:20:27,577 --> 00:20:30,288
You're not supposed to have
it all figured out yet.
424
00:20:30,288 --> 00:20:32,832
But you? How dare you.
425
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,209
A timeless being coming
into our dimension
426
00:20:35,209 --> 00:20:37,837
and preying on the
insecurities of a young woman?
427
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:40,548
- You're filth.
- I'm a demon!
428
00:20:40,548 --> 00:20:41,799
Thanks you guys.
429
00:20:41,799 --> 00:20:43,217
I guess I learned my lesson.
430
00:20:43,217 --> 00:20:46,637
I don't need to be a hippie
or a devil worshipper.
431
00:20:46,637 --> 00:20:48,014
I can just be Hayley,
432
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:50,933
even if that means I'm
a little lost sometimes.
433
00:20:50,933 --> 00:20:53,936
Sweet Black Baby Jesus, that's corny.
434
00:20:56,238 --> 00:20:57,840
Bye, bye! See you soon!
435
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,201
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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