Original subtitles

(DRUM STICKS CLACKING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(SINGING) Sometimes I feel like

Throwing my hands up in the air

I know I can count on you

Sometimes I feel like saying, "Lord, I just don't care"

But you've got the love I need to see me through

Sometimes it seems that the going is just too rough

And things go wrong no matter what I do

Now and then it seems that life is just too much

You've got the love I need to see me through

Oh, you got the love

You got the love

You got the love I need to see me through

Oh, you got the love

You got the love

You've got the love I need to see me through

When things go wrong and you're my daily meal

Oh, oh

I know

I know my savior's love is real

Oh, you got the love

You got the love

You got the love I need to see me through

Oh, you got the love

You got the love

You got the love I need to see me through

Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air

I know I can count on you

FRED: You can't smoke here.

What... Not even outside?

FRED: Not even inside.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, pardon me, Mr. Ballinger...

Or may I call you "Maestro"?

(CLEARS THROAT)

May I ask how your holiday is going?

Very well, thank you.

Have you been coming here long?

I have been coming here for about 20 years.

I used to come with my wife

and now, I keep coming on my own.

But... Why Switzerland, Maestro?

Well, it's close to Italy. After London and New York,

I was director of the Venice orchestra.

Of course.

For 24 years.

How silly of me!

And are you still directing or composing, Maestro?

No, I'm retired.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Maestro, as I indicated to you in my letter,

I work for the Ceremonies

and Events Office at Buckingham Palace.

You work for the Queen?

(STUTTERS) In a sense, yes. Good.

I find monarchies so endearing.

Uh...

If I may, Maestro,

why exactly do you find the monarchy endearing?

It's so vulnerable.

You eliminate one person...

And all of a sudden

the whole world changes.

Like in a marriage.

Maestro, Her Majesty the Queen would be honored

to confer a knighthood upon you this coming June.

Good.

Her Majesty the Queen will be delighted

to learn you have accepted. Her Majesty the Queen

has never been delighted at anything.

EMISSARY: (CHUCKLES) Well, what is more,

your investiture just so happens

to coincide with the birthday

of His Royal Highness, The Prince Philip.

And the Queen would very much like to give him a concert

by the BBC Concert Orchestra...

I don't conduct anymore.

I'm sure you haven't forgotten how it's done.

No...

I haven't forgotten how it's done.

EMISSARY: Prince Philip and the Queen will be simply ecstatic to hear you

conduct your famous "Simple Songs."

Ah.

I will not conduct my "Simple Songs."

Why not?

Personal reasons.

The great soprano Sumi Jo has agreed to sing.

Sumi Jo won't do.

EMISSARY: Then tell me which soprano will do,

and you shall have her.

FRED: No one will do.

(PLASTIC WRAPPER CRACKLING)

Well...

I shall relay our conversation to the Queen.

Good day, Maestro.

Do you see that?

Is that him?

Why yes...

It is!

ASSISTANT 2: God!

(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

Anjelah!

(GROANING)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(PANTING)

(COUGHING)

(GAS HISSING)

(HEAVY BREATHING)

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

(CREAKING)

(CROWS CAWING)

FRED: Melanie!

(PANTING)

(ONWARD PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

MAN: (SINGING) Displayed in all the things I see

There's a love you showed to me...

I was thinking today

how you and I have the same problem.

Is that so?

We've been misunderstood our whole lives

because we allowed ourselves to give in

just once to a little levity.

Levity is an irresistible temptation.

I've worked with

all the great European and American directors,

but I'll be remembered forever for Mister Q,

for a fucking robot.

I had to wear a suit of armor that weighed 200 pounds,

you couldn't even see my face,

but every five minutes someone has to come up

and remind me that I did Mister Q.

The same way they remind you

that you did those Simple Songs.

And they forget

that you also composed The Black Prism,

The Life of Hadrian, and all the rest.

Because levity is also a perversion.

(ONWARD CONTINUES PLAYING)

FRED: What are you doing in Europe?

I'm doing a new film, uh, in Germany,

starting in a month. I'm developing the role.

Is it a light-hearted role?

That depends on your point of view.

And is all going well?

We'll see.

(CHUCKLES)

(MUSIC STOPS) (APPLAUSE)

Well, it's late for me.

Not for me.

Good night.

(ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING)

MAN: (SINGING) From my view at 32nd street

(GREETS IN TIBETAN)

(SEQUINS JANGLE)

(VIOLIN PLAYING)

FRED: Did you take a piss today?

Twice.

(SIGHS)

Four drops. You?

The same. More or less.

More or less?

Less.

Look how beautiful they are. (CHUCKLES)

FRED: Beautiful.

MICK: If you only knew how moving it is

to see them working on the script,

they're so passionate.

See those two?

They're falling in love, but they don't know it yet.

FRED: How do you know?

I know because I know

everything there is to know about love.

Maybe you could give me some lessons one day.

(LAUGHS) It's late now.

Have you heard the latest?

Joyce Owens, Miss Universe, is coming to stay.

Apparently one of her prizes is a free week in our hotel.

Yeah, I heard.

But it seems more like a punishment

than a prize to me.

(MICK CHUCKLES)

FRED: How's the script coming?

It's going to be a masterpiece.

My testament.

And Brenda is going to be an unforgettable leading lady.

We came upon a title today.

"Life's Last Day."

What do you think?

That's good.

Good.

I'm going to get some sleep.

Good night.

Good night.

(RINGING)

(MUSIC PLAYING) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING)

That guy who levitates is out here.

FRED: I've been coming here for years.

He has never levitated.

So, where did you decide to go?

We are going to Polynesia for two weeks.

Julian went overboard, as usual.

Good. You're gonna be glad

to have the room to yourself now.

I've just been in your way.

Not at all. You kept me company.

Mick is working and I get bored.

LENA: You won't be bored for a minute

because I have arranged the full service for you.

You are going to have a massage,

sauna, check-ups with the doctor,

every single day to help you get back in shape.

At my age, getting in shape is merely a waste of time.

I'm going to be even more bored.

You're a victim of your own apathy, Daddy.

Why don't you go to Venice one of these days?

You could bring flowers to Mommy.

Oh, I've been meaning to tell you,

the French have emailed me every single day.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

They insist that you write your memoirs.

What should I do?

Let them insist.

(KISSES)

(DOOR OPENS)

I'll call you as soon as I get there.

Bye, Daddy.

FRED: Have fun.

(DOOR CLOSES)

MASSEUSE: Would you mind turning on your back, please?

(FRED GROANS)

(SIZZLING)

After pain come pleasure.

And then pain again.

(SIGHS)

Phew.

How's it going, Mr. Ballinger?

It's going.

I don't know where, but it's going.

My daughter says I'm apathetic.

Is it that obvious? (CHUCKLES)

MAN: You've been watching too many movies, you idiot,

you've forgotten what life's about!

Exactly!

Movies are life! All you do is criticize.

If you only had some inspiration for once.

Exactly!

Didn't they teach you at film school that inspiration doesn't exist?

Inspiration's a lie.

There's no such thing as inspiration,

only fermentation.

Exactly!

You just don't recognize it, because you have zero talent.

MAN 2: Exactly.

What the fuck are you doing? Agreeing with everyone?

Of course! I'm timid and insecure.

My parents never gave me any encouragement.

I've never had a girlfriend

and I have serious doubts about my sexual orientation.

Stop it! You're not going to move me.

My aunt has polio. (LAUGHS)

Don't you dare accuse me

of having no talent again, you idiot.

WOMAN: Now's not the time for fermentation,

you untalented parasite.

You're really getting on my nerves.

We have to come up with an ending

and you're wasting time

talking philosophy and big ideas.

He's on his deathbed,

he can barely talk,

and he whispers to his wife,

"Don't cry, honey.

"You know I've always found women

"who weep frivolous and repulsive."

Nice!

What a totally asinine idea.

What else?

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

You won't fool me...

I know you can't levitate.

(CHUCKLES)

(FRED BLOWS NOSE)

(PLASTIC WRAPPER CRACKLING) (VIOLIN PLAYING)

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

That's everything.

(EXHALES)

Don't you need anything?

What do you need Band-Aids for?

I don't.

I'm doing it out of solidarity with you.

Oh, fuck you.

You pay!

Do you remember Gilda?

The film?

No, Gilda Black.

The Gilda we were both in love with.

Gilda Black?

What are you going and remembering her for?

That was a hundred years ago.

To me, it is like yesterday.

I would have given 20 years of my life

to have slept with her.

That would have been a pretty stupid thing!

Gilda Black wasn't worth 20 years of your life.

She wasn't worth a single day.

How do you know?

Did you sleep with her?

What? What did you say?

You heard me.

Sixty years ago you swore you never slept with her

out of respect for my love for her.

Now you've changed your tune.

Look,

I have something to confess.

Fine, go ahead.

The real tragedy,

and believe me, it really is a tragedy,

is that I can't even remember if I slept with Gilda Black.

FRED: Are you serious?

MICK: I swear.

I'm wondering what happens to your memory over time.

I can't remember my family.

I don't remember their faces or how they talked.

Last night I was watching Lena while she was asleep

and I was thinking about

all those thousands of little things

that I've done for her as her father.

And I have done them deliberately,

so that she would remember them

when she grows up.

But in time,

she won't remember a single thing.

Tremendous effort, Mick.

Tremendous effort, Mick,

with a modest result.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(COWBELLS TINKLING)

(BRANCHES CREAKING)

(MOOING)

(COWBELLS TINKLING)

(MOOING)

(SHUSHING)

(COWBELLS STOP TINKLING)

(COWBELLS TINKLING IN TUNE)

(FLY BUZZING)

(MOOING)

(BRANCH CREAKS)

(COWBELLS TINKLING)

(COWS LOWING)

(WINGS FLAPPING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(THUNDER RUMBLES SOFTLY)

(MAN LAUGHING)

(VIOLIN PLAYING)

(SHUTTER CLICKS)

(GROANING)

MICK: They're going to talk tonight, you'll see.

FRED: I will bet you

30 Swiss francs

they don't say a word the entire dinner.

MICK: I'm so sure they're going to talk.

I'll raise you to 50.

Done.

FRED: Including the last few days,

you owe me, uh,

250 Swiss francs.

(WOMAN SINGING)

Met you by surprise

I didn't realize

That my life would change forever

Saw you standing there

I didn't know I cared...

MICK: Today?

FRED: Not today.

You?

Nothing.

Let's hope we take a piss tomorrow.

(SIGHS)

(VIOLIN PLAYING)

(ARGUING IN GERMAN)

(WOMAN CRYING)

That's great, Nick.

I'm glad you like the second draft.

Sure, we'll work some more on the ending.

I talked to Brenda. Everything's all set.

She can't wait.

When is she ever going to get a part like this at her age!

If it's okay with you,

I'd like to start scouting out locations next month.

Perfect. Bye.

What happened to you?

You look like you have been to a funeral.

Your son has left my daughter.

Fuck! What are you talking about?

They were boarding the plane to Polynesia

and right there in the tunnel he stops and tells her

he's fallen in love with another woman.

Nothing like being in a tunnel

to make you feel you're in a tunnel.

How profound! You're quite the magician of metaphor.

And then he took this other woman on vacation?

At least he had the good taste not to do that. At least.

And Lena?

Lena's in her room crying her eyes out.

I've never seen anyone cry that much in my life.

I read somewhere that tear ducts can produce tears

for three days without stopping.

I heard that too.

On a BBC documentary.

He's on his deathbed, and he says to her,

"Let's watch one final

"BBC documentary together, darling."

(ALL LAUGHING)

FRED: Okay guys, knock it off.

I'm not so sure that's true, though, about the tear ducts.

I read that somewhere in a popular magazine

and they tend to exaggerate.

Better for sales, you know.

I think we're getting off the mark.

I think you're right.

Julian's such a shit.

Just like his mother. Remember?

Yeah.

I'm gonna call my shithead son.

What for? To convince him

to get back together with Lena? It's hopeless.

Julian, this is your father,

even though at this point, based on the evidence,

I'm not so sure you are my son.

(ZIPPER FASTENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

MICK: How are you always so sure

they're not going to speak?

I know something about them.

The waiter told me.

What? I'm not gonna tell you.

Tell me right this minute.

Besides, I can always get the waiter to tell me too.

A little bribe...

Alright, I'll tell you.

They're mute.

You little shit! (LAUGHING)

Give me back my money.

All of it.

You are so gullible!

It's a joke. They're not mute.

What the hell is going on?

Well, it's really rather banal, Dad.

I fell in love with another woman.

Who's 18? No, Dad.

She's 30. A reasonable age.

However old she is, you've really fucked up.

That's your opinion.

MICK: Lena is an extraordinary woman.

At this point of course, I realize

that she's completely wasted on you.

Perhaps.

She's far too intelligent for you.

Why did you make me come?

I'm not about to change my mind.

That's what they all say, at the beginning.

Then eventually they wind up

begging their spouse to take them back.

Mom left you and she never begged you to take her back.

(SIGHS)

What did I tell you?

You see now where he gets it from, this asshole?

Are we allowed to know

who this whore you've fallen in love with is?

Me.

I am the woman Julian has lost his head for.

We're going to get married

as soon as his divorce is finalized.

And who the fuck are you?

I'm Paloma Faith.

And I'm not a whore.

I'm a singer.

MICK: Excuse me, Miss,

would you mind giving us a moment alone?

Okay, but not for too long.

Forgive me, Julian,

but I'm really trying to understand.

Lena is a beautiful woman, a dream.

And this one here

is the most insignificant woman

on the face of the planet.

What the fuck do you see in her?

You really want to know?

Yes, Julian, I really want to know.

She's really good in bed.

LENA: So who is this bitch?

FRED: Her name is Paloma Faith.

LENA: (SCOFFS) What does she do?

FRED: The most obscene job in the world.

LENA: (CHUCKLES) She's a prostitute?

FRED: Worse. She's a pop star.

Pop star...

And what was it that Julian said about her?

I already told you.

No you didn't, all you did was babble

something incomprehensibly.

No, it was Julian who was babbling.

He's not right to the head.

Oh!

It doesn't seem that way to me.

He must have made 20 decisions in two hours.

He moved out. He found an apartment.

He spoke on the phone to a divorce lawyer.

That doesn't really seem like a confused man to me.

(SIGHING) You keep on saying to me

that this woman is ugly and insignificant,

so what is it that Julian sees in her

that he didn't see in me?

Now, how should I know?

You said that Mick asked him!

Did I? Yes.

I want to know what was Julian's response!

I don't remember.

Oh, God, you're really pissing me off now, Daddy.

You remember perfectly well, you're really a horrible liar!

(STAMMERING) I swear.

He was just mumbling some idiocy.

If you don't tell me, I swear I'm going to scream

right here and now.

I want to know what he said.

What the fuck does this bitch have,

according to Julian, that I don't?

I want to know, I want to know what he said!

He said...

Yes?

She was good in bed.

You didn't have to tell me that!

Believe me, Lena,

I can understand you.

Really, I can.

You can understand me...

Like hell that you can!

Mommy would have been able to understand me.

Mommy found herself in the same situation

I'm in now, with you, dozens of times.

She always pretended not to know.

You had a stream of women but she just kept going.

Not just for us children, but above all, for you.

She loved you and so she forgave you.

No matter what happened,

she still wanted to be with you.

But who were you?

Who?

That's what I always asked myself.

You never gave anything.

Not to her, not to me, nothing.

You gave everything to your music.

Music, music, music!

There was nothing else in your life.

And aridness.

Never a caress, never a hug, never a kiss, nothing.

You never knew anything about your children.

You never knew if we were happy,

if we were suffering. Nothing.

Everything was on Mommy's shoulders.

At home, the only thing you'd ever say to her

were two words. "Quiet, Melanie."

And Mommy would explain to us, "Quiet, Daddy's composing."

"Quiet, Daddy's resting, he has a concert tonight."

"Quiet, Daddy's on the phone."

"Quiet, Daddy has Stravinsky

"coming to the house later tonight."

You wanted to be Stravinsky,

but you don't have a single drop of his genius.

"Quiet, Melanie!"

were the only two things you knew how to say.

You don't know the first thing about my mother.

You never bothered to take care of her.

And even now,

you haven't brought her flowers for 10 years.

And then that letter.

You think Mommy never read it?

Well, you're wrong.

She found it and she read it. And I read it too.

You probably don't even remember that letter,

but we do.

The letter we found in which

you professed your love for another man.

Mommy had to endure that humiliation too.

"My necessary experimentation

"in sexual matters," as you put it.

So your musical experimentation

wasn't enough for you.

No, you had to experiment with homosexuality too!

And you didn't give a fuck

about all the anguish you caused her.

So don't tell me that you can understand

because you don't understand a fucking thing.

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

(ALL CLAMORING)

Gracias.

Gracias, gracias.

(CHOIR SINGING) Just your mouth

Just your love

Stop telling me what to do!

If I wanna bite my nails, I will! Ugh!

Just your name

And my soul

And my soul

And my fingers

And my beloved

And my beloved

Just your beloved

And my own vineyard

And my soul

Just your flock

Just your companions

Just your kids

Just your cheeks

Just your neck

Just your couch

And my perfume

And my beloved

And my breasts

And my beloved

And my love

Just your eyes

And my beloved

FRED: This morning I did this big, powerful piss.

And I was so happy!

I haven't been so happy in a long time.

Good, I'm happy for you.

No, it's only a joke, Mick.

I mean, you know, it wasn't like that.

Don't joke about these things, Fred.

Prostate is serious.

You always fall for my jokes, Mick.

You've been believing my every word for 60 years.

I invent stories, Fred.

I have to believe everything in order to make things up.

Do you remember the other day, when you told me

you don't remember your parents anymore?

No, I don't remember.

Of course you do.

Well, you made me realize

that not only do I not remember my parents anymore,

but my childhood, for example,

I don't remember a thing about it.

There's only one thing I still remember.

What?

The precise moment when I learned to ride a bike.

And this morning, as if by magic...

I remembered the moment right after.

When you fell off.

How the fuck did you know?

That happens to everybody.

You learn something, you're happy,

and then you forget to brake.

(THUMPING)

(WOMAN GRUNTING LOUDLY)

(BOTH GRUNTING LOUDLY)

(YELLING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(SINGING IN FRENCH)

How's the work on the role going?

Pretty well, actually.

I've come up with some interesting details.

FRED: Good.

Maybe the problem is Julian and I never had children.

I don't know what the problem is.

I'm not going to try and cheer you up

by lying and talking about things

I never knew about.

You were right.

Music is all I understand. And do you know why?

Because you don't need words

or an experience to understand it.

It just is.

Your mother would have understood you.

I can't.

But your mother's not here.

(CONTINUES SINGING IN FRENCH)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(SINGING) Come on with it!

How would you gon' do love this way?

I work so hard for you every day

Ooh!

While you out late night doin' what you do

Chilin' with who?

While I'm sitting at home

Come on with it!

MAN: I don't know what this world is coming to

I just can't rely on you

CHORUS: I just can't rely on you

I just can't rely on you

CHORUS: I just can't rely on you

Wait a minute

'Cause that's why you drive me

Out of my mind

(DISTORTED) I just can't rely on you

(LENA SCREAMS) (FRED GASPS)

(BOTH PANTING)

What happened?

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

Daddy, I have to tell you something that is personal.

Tell me, Lena.

Julian's an ass.

Because...

I'm really good in bed.

I know.

What do you mean you know?

You're my daughter.

And, in all modesty,

I was a wonder between the sheets.

(LAUGHING)

It's true! (LAUGHS)

(VIOLIN PLAYING)

(VIOLIN CONTINUES PLAYING)

Do you know who composed the piece

that you're practicing?

No. Who?

Me.

I don't believe you.

What's it called?

"Simple Song No. 3."

And what's the composer's name?

Fred Ballinger.

And you, what's your name?

Fred Ballinger.

You can check at the front desk.

I'm staying here.

Incredible!

Yeah, it is incredible.

My teacher makes me play it.

He says it's a perfect piece to start with.

Yes, he's right. It's simple.

It's not only simple.

Oh, really?

It's also really beautiful.

Yes, it is beautiful.

I composed it while I still loved.

May I do something

while you're still playing?

Keep playing.

There.

Daddy, where have you been?

This man's been in here for over an hour.

He says he's the Queen's emissary.

Shit!

I told him to make himself comfortable in our room.

Be nice.

Now, I was just wondering

if we could maybe head out onto the terrace.

No, it's too cold.

But you can smoke those in here, if you like.

Are you serious? Yeah.

The hotel manager is a music lover.

I get a few little privileges.

You have no idea

how much pleasure this gives to me.

Are you feeling tense?

(CHUCKLES) I'll say. (FRED CHUCKLES)

There you go.

We don't have much time so I'll skip the formalities.

I'm having a thorough cleansing

of my intestines today.

(COUGHS)

Bloody hell!

Right, I was unable to convince the Queen.

I relayed your reticence about the songs to her.

I proposed an alternative repertoire.

An alternative musician. An alternative evening.

She doesn't want alternatives. (LAUGHS)

She wants you and only you and only your Simple Songs.

It's all that Prince Philip listens to.

Well, I don't want to be rude. But it's impossible.

Why?

I told you the last time we met.

Personal reasons.

And is there no way to resolve these personal reasons?

Unfortunately, no.

(EMISSARY CLEARS THROAT)

I'm begging you, Maestro.

I have a difficult job,

I simply have to return to London

with a positive answer.

But my answer is negative.

I don't understand. What exactly doesn't work?

Is it the date?

Is it the location? Is it the orchestra?

Is it the soprano? Is it the Queen?

Please, don't insist.

Personal reasons.

What are these bloody personal reasons?

Personal means that I'm not obliged to answer.

Let's see if we can resolve these personal problems then.

What is it that is wrong?

The soprano.

We'll get a different one, then.

FRED: It wouldn't make any difference.

Even though Sumi Jo is the absolute best

and she has already expressed her enthusiasm

at being directed by you.

I'm not interested.

What is it you have against her?

Nothing! I've never even met her.

Never even met her!

That's enough!

EMISSARY: I'm sorry,

I just do not understand.

What exactly is the problem?

The problem is that I composed the Simple Songs for my wife.

And only she has ever performed them

and only she has recorded them.

And as long as I live,

she will be the only one to sing them.

The problem is, dear sir,

my wife can't sing any more.

Now do you understand?

Do you? Yes.

Yes, I do understand.

I beg your pardon, Maestro.

(EMISSARY CLEARS THROAT)

FRED: Lena?

(DOOR CLOSES)

(SNIFFLING) Yes?

Stop crying.

Please.

Okay.

(SNIFFLES)

(LAUGHS)

(RINGING)

(ONWARD PLAYING)

I'm going to give you a different type of massage

because you are stressed.

No, to be precise,

you're not stressed, you're emotional.

You understand everything with your hands, don't you?

We can understand all sorts of things by touching.

Who knows why people are so afraid of touching?

FRED: Maybe it's because they think

it has something to do with pleasure.

MASSEUSE: That's just another good reason

for touching instead of talking.

Don't you like to talk?

I never have anything to say.

MAN: (SINGING) Displayed in all the things I see

There's a love you showed to me...

Come look.

Now listen,

do you see that mountain over there?

WOMAN: Yeah, it seems really close.

MICK: Exactly.

That's what you see when you're young.

Everything seems really close.

That's the future.

And now...

And that's what you see when you're old.

Everything seems really far away.

That's the past.

Brenda can't wait to get started.

And I am so proud

of having written this screenplay with you.

I've made 20 films

but they're all irrelevant, this is the only film

that means anything to me.

It's my sentimental, intellectual,

and moral testament.

So, let's toast to the completion

of the third draft of Life's Last Day.

What about the ending, Mick?

The ending,

we'll come up with one, sooner or later.

Cheers!

Hey, Fred Ballinger.

Hi.

I checked at the front desk

and you really are Fred Ballinger.

Good.

I'm glad to see you put your mind to rest on that score.

There's something else I wanted to tell you too.

You go right ahead.

I wanted to tell you that ever since you corrected

the position of my elbow,

I play better, the sounds come more naturally.

(SIGHS) Good.

Do you know why?

Because you're left-handed.

And all left-handed people are irregular,

so an irregular position helps.

Gentlemen,

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

I'm left-handed too.

Christ! The whole world knows you're left-handed.

Thank you!

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm Luca.

Luca Moroder.

Hello.

I'm a mountaineer.

And I teach climbing.

I give lessons here at the hotel.

Oh. And you?

What do you do?

Well, I have two jobs.

I'm a daughter and I'm also an assistant to my father.

Two jobs, huh?

Yeah.

This is a Forerunner 620.

It has a color touch display.

It estimates VO2max values,

the maximum rate of oxygen consumption

during maximum exertion.

I'd like to give it to my cousin for Christmas.

LENA: Hmm.

We always go climbing together.

He was supposed to be here, too,

but he broke his femur in the bathtub.

Oh.

Bathtubs are more dangerous than Everest.

(LUCA CHUCKLES)

LUCA: How true.

Do you know what I found once on the K2 summit?

No, what?

A bedside table.

That's not true.

Yes, it is.

I opened the drawer,

but it was empty.

It's an amazing feeling, climbing, you know?

A real sense of freedom.

Uh, all I feel is fear.

That's an amazing feeling too, you know.

JIMMY: So who's the most talented actress

you've ever worked with, Mr. Boyle?

MICK: Brenda Morel. Without a doubt.

A genius.

She couldn't have read more than two books her whole life.

And one of them was her autobiography,

written by a ghostwriter, naturally.

A genius in what sense?

If you know how to steal, you don't need training.

Stealing becomes your education.

That's how Brenda is.

Even when, thanks to my films, she become a diva,

she never forgot where she was from.

The street was her real home.

And that's where she stayed, on the street,

stealing everything.

Which is how she created such unforgettable characters.

And won two Oscars.

(BALL WHOOSHING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

(PANTING AND GRUNTING)

(THE BREEZE PLAYING)

(PANTING)

(COUGHS)

MAN: (SINGING) I'd like to touch you

But I've forgotten how...

Climb on my shoulders.

Okay.

Now, as we climb,

look down.

See how beautiful the world is from up here?

LENA: The French called again.

They really want to do that book with you,

your memoirs.

They want the whole picture,

they want your life, your work...

What shall I say?

Tell them, uh...

LENA: Tell them what?

To forget me.

Tell them that.

(STUTTERS) I'm retired.

I'm done!

With work and with life.

Cut the crap!

Your music conveyed surprising, new emotions.

Emotions can be overrated too, Mick.

JIMMY: These shows are really pathetic.

All that's missing is a mime.

We usually get one of those

by the end of the season as well.

Good.

(CROWD APPLAUDS)

(HORNS BLOWING)

HOTEL MANAGER: Excuse me, Mr. Tree.

Miss Universe is here.

It's such a pleasure to meet you.

I'm a huge fan of yours. (CHUCKLES)

I literally went crazy when you played Mister Q.

I never miss a robot movie, but that one's...

my favorite.

Thank you.

Do you ever watch any other kinds of films,

other than robot movies?

Of course! I've got my whole life ahead of me,

and I want to be an actress.

I don't want to just, um,

rely on my beauty.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, do you... Do you study?

Or do you just watch reality TV?

I appreciate irony.

But when it is drenched in poison

it is drained of its force

and reveals something else.

What?

Frustration.

I'm frustrated, Miss Universe.

I'm happy I took part in the Miss Universe pageant.

Are you happy you played Mister Q?

She's not at all stupid, Miss Universe.

(CHUCKLES) Not at all!

(CLOCKS TICKING)

(CLOCKS CHIMING)

I saw you in a film once.

So you liked Mister Q as well?

No.

I saw you in that film where you play

a father who never knew his son

and meets him for the first time in a highway diner

when the son's 14.

But nobody saw that movie!

There was a bit of dialog I really liked,

when your son says,

"Why weren't you a father to me?"

And you say,

"I didn't think I was up to it."

At that moment I understood something really important.

What?

That no one in the whole world feels up to it.

So there's no reason to worry.

Bye. See you at the hotel.

JIMMY: What do you do all day, Fred?

They tell me I'm apathetic,

so I don't do anything.

Don't you miss your work?

Not at all.

I worked far too much, anyway.

So what do you miss?

I miss my wife.

My wife, Melanie.

I read on Wikipedia... (CHUCKLES)

that you hung out

with Stravinsky for a while when you were young.

Yes, I did.

What was he like?

Well, he was very, um...

placid.

Placid? That's all?

(CHUCKLES)

Be generous with me, Fred. I need a generous friend.

Tell me about Stravinsky.

Well, he once said that intellectuals had no taste.

So from that moment on I did everything I could

not to become an intellectual.

And I succeeded.

And you? What do you miss?

(SIGHS)

Nothing, I'd say. Luckily.

Come on!

Be generous with me, Jimmy.

What I missed I discovered four months ago

while reading Novalis.

You read Novalis?

Well, even actors from California

when they're not getting drunk,

snorting coke, or hanging out with anorexic models,

occasionally read Novalis.

You're right, I'm sorry.

I'm just an old man with prejudices.

And what does Novalis say?

"I'm always going home...

"always going to my father's house."

(CEILING GAZING PLAYING)

MAN: (SINGING) Laying in my bed, ceiling gazing

Wide awake with jet lag from Australia

Got a stack of mail and a wedding invitation

(CROWD CHEERING)

From a new, young relative I've never even knew

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

What are you thinking about?

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

The future.

Got me thinking about my grandpa for some reason

(SPRAYING)

Last time I saw him he was in a box

And they were lowering him into the ground

St. Mary's Church stood so high

It was the first and the last time I saw my dad cry...

MAN: He's on his deathbed, and murmurs to her,

"I should have devoted myself to you,

"and to our love,

"instead of wasting my life

"trying to become the king of insurance policies."

Maybe he says something banal to her,

real simple, like,

"Take care of yourself."

No.

We have to stay with the physical pain

right up to the end.

How about if he says,

"Not even morphine can help me now."

What if he focuses on some insignificant detail?

If he said something like,

"I wonder whatever happened to that key ring

"you gave me 25 years ago,

"the one shaped like a horseshoe?"

No.

He doesn't say anything on his deathbed.

She's the one who talks.

Brenda.

She says...

"I lost so much time because of you, Michael.

"I lost the best years of my life."

(LEAVES RUSTLING)

(CUP CLANGS)

(CLICKS TONGUE)

(COUGHS)

(CONTINUES COUGHING)

(THUD)

(WOMAN GASPS)

MICK: Good morning!

I've never told you how sorry I am about

how things ended between you and Julian.

I mean, I want to apologize for his behavior.

You don't have to apologize, it's not your fault.

Let's face it...

As a father, I could have done more.

Ugh! Let's face it,

Julian picked up the scent.

I've started to smell it too.

What scent?

Scent of freedom.

Oh, right!

I know that scent.

Hey, Daddy really didn't say anything to you

about the Queen?

About how he refused to

conduct his Simple Songs in London for her?

MICK: He didn't tell me a thing.

LENA: Gosh, you guys have a strange friendship.

Strange?

No, it's a good friendship.

And in a good friendship,

you only tell each other the good things.

He must have thought that the Queen's concert

wasn't one of them.

LENA: He said the reason he couldn't conduct

the Simple Songs was

my mother is the only person on Earth who could sing them.

He said that?

He said that to the Queen's emissary.

(CHUCKLES)

It took him 80 years

to finally say something romantic,

and he goes ands says it to the Queen's emissary!

You know, sometimes when I'm asleep at night

he watches me.

And last night he stroked my cheek

for the first time in my life.

Only I wasn't asleep, I was pretending to be asleep.

Parents know when their children

are pretending to be asleep.

MICK: It's years since you went to see Melanie.

Why don't you go?

Venice is so close.

Don't you agree?

There is something that keeps getting into my head.

What?

What it would have been like to have slept

with Gilda Black!

(CHUCKLES)

Yeah.

I wonder, too!

Liar!

FRED: You know the difference between you and me?

MICK: What?

FRED: Ultimately,

I never liked life well enough.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

MICK: Brenda wanted to play Eva Braun

a hundred years ago.

She spent six months working on that role.

I've been studying all the hotel guests

for weeks now.

I have been meticulously observing you, and Fred,

Lena, the Russians, the Arabs, the young and the old.

And I have finally come to a conclusion.

I have to choose.

I have to choose what is really worth telling,

horror or desire.

And I choose desire.

You, each one of you...

You opened my eyes.

You made me see that I should not be wasting my time

on the senselessness of horror.

I can't do this, I can't play Hitler.

I wanna tell your desire, my desire.

So pure, so impossible, so immoral,

but it doesn't matter because that's what makes us so alive.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHISPERS) Who is she?

God.

What do you mean, who is she?

Miss Universe.

But, she looks different,

unrecognizable.

MICK: She's been transformed,

from watching all those robot movies.

ATTENDANT: Excuse me.

Mr. Boyle,

there's someone here to see you.

Can't you see we're

enjoying the last great idyll of our lives?

MICK: Well, who's the pain in the neck?

Brenda Morel.

Brenda Morel?

Here?

BRENDA: What the hell is this? It looks like an accident!

It's called Alpine Prison, by a local artist.

BRENDA: (SCOFFS) Human beings really know

how to be pathetic when they try.

(SIGHS) Yes.

Brenda!

What a fabulous,

marvelous surprise!

Hi, Mick.

You look fabulous, Brenda.

The very picture of radiance and sex appeal.

You're getting mixed up with last millennium, Mick.

(BOTH CHUCKLES)

MICK: What, you just couldn't wait any longer?

We just finished the latest version, you know.

We had trouble with the last scene,

but then yesterday, eureka!

It came to us. (SIGHS)

So now that you're here in the flesh,

we can hand it to you.

But didn't you tell me you were going to be in Los Angeles?

What are you doing in Europe?

Brenda...

How many years have we known each other, Mick?

Jesus, you're putting me on the spot!

Let me count...

Fifty-three years.

How many films have we done together?

Nine, ten!

Eleven.

So after 53 years of friendship

and 11 films together

you don't think I'm gonna start to bullshit you now,

do you?

No, I don't.

I wouldn't deserve that.

That's right, you don't deserve it.

You deserve me to call a spade a spade.

Which is why I dragged my ass here from LA.

To talk to you in person.

Look, Brenda, if it's about scene 21,

where you're described as "ugly, feeble,

"a pale shadow of your former beauty,"

please realize that that's just poetic license.

I want you to be extraordinary.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

You still preserve intact.

You have to, that mystery,

that allure that you had when you first became a diva.

Stop licking my ass, Mick.

It just breaks my balls even more,

(SIGHS)

especially given what I've come to tell you.

Why? What did you come to tell me?

I'm not gonna be in the movie, Mick.

(SOFTLY) What?

They've offered me a TV series in New Mexico

with a three-year contract.

An alcoholic grandmother

who's suffered a serious stroke.

Character's got real balls.

With the money

I can pay for Jack's drug rehab,

I can pay all the debts of my idiotic future ex-husband,

and still have enough money to buy a house in Miami,

which is something I've wanted to do for 14 years.

That's why I've come to tell you this.

(MUTTERS) But, uh...

But this is cinema, Brenda!

That's just television. Television's shit.

No. Television is the future, Mick.

(SCOFFS) To tell you the truth,

it's also the present.

Look, let's...

Let's be frank, Mick,

because nobody speaks frankly in this fucking film world.

You're going on 80,

and like most of your colleagues,

you're getting worse with age.

You know,

the last three films you made were shit, Mick.

I'm telling you, according to me

and according to everybody, they were real shit!

How dare you!

How dare you!

So you want to be frank?

Do you?

Fifty-three years ago, if it weren't for me,

you would still be crouching under some producer's desk.

I pulled you out from under

those big fat producers' underpants

and made you an actress!

You little shit!

I was just fine in those producers' underpants.

You know why? Because I wanted to be there.

I don't owe anybody anything.

I did it myself.

Really? I paid my dues.

I got into Actors Studio,

nobody pulled any strings for me.

I supported myself

washing toilets all over Brooklyn.

My mother went into debt for me.

(SIGHS)

And in Hollywood, oh,

when I walked through that front door,

I was all by my fucking self!

Marilyn, Rita, Grace,

they shit in their pants when they saw me coming.

It's all written in my autobiography,

don't tell me you haven't read it?

Unfortunately, I have.

Except you didn't write it.

(SCOFFS)

And it's a piece of shit.

The real shit is your film, Mick.

I understand cinema, you know I do.

You're the one who doesn't understand it anymore

because you're old, you're tired,

you don't know how to see the world anymore, Mick.

All you know how to see is your own death,

which is waiting right around the corner for you.

Your career's over.

I'm just telling you flat out because I love you.

Nobody is interested in this testament of yours,

is that what you call it, testament?

(SIGHS) And you risk nullifying

all the beautiful films you've ever done.

Which is unforgivable, Mick!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

It's only because of me that

they're letting you do this movie.

So if I pull out, I'm saving your life.

And your dignity.

You're an ingrate.

An ingrate and an idiot.

Which is why you got ahead.

You're right, Mick.

You're exactly right.

Okay.

I'm going to make this movie without you.

Oh, come on, Mick.

Life goes on.

Even without all that cinema bullshit.

(CHIMING)

(BUBBLING)

Do you know how many actresses I've worked with in my career?

Lots, I guess.

More than 50.

I've launched more than 50 actresses.

And they've always been grateful to me.

I'm a great women's director.

"That way, Frank,

"that way you'll never forget me."

Do you remember, Mr. Boyle?

Sure I remember.

I remember everything I've ever shot.

(SIGHS) Mr. Boyle, you're not a great women's director.

You're a great director.

Period.

Okay, I... I've made up my mind.

I went to the ATM.

And...

What would you want to do?

Go for a walk.

Would you like to try climbing?

Do you know I can make a man go wild in bed, if I want?

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

MICK: Come on, kids, what's with the long faces?

Hitches, delays in shooting,

it's a constant in our line of work.

Get used to it.

I've already talked with the producer,

we just need another actress

and the shooting starts.

It's just a matter of waiting a few more months.

What a bitch that Brenda Morel is.

Don't talk like that about Brenda Morel.

She goes where the wind blows.

Which is what we all do.

And it's what you all will do,

in order to survive in this jungle.

It's not true

that she came to Europe specially to meet you, Mick.

I read that she's going to Cannes,

some charity ball at the Film Festival.

Oh, let's not get caught up in all this truth, now.

Remember that fiction is our passion.

Your film-testament is worth a whole lot more

than one more TV series.

My film-testament?

Let's be rational here, let's not overrate things.

Most men die not only without a testament,

but without anyone even noticing.

Well, most men aren't great artists like you.

It doesn't make a difference!

Men, artists, animals, plants...

We're all just extras.

(BELL DINGING)

(HORN TOOTING)

Mick!

How am I supposed to say this line, Mick? I...

I don't get it.

How do you want it, Mick? Sincere?

Smug, wicked?

And my walk? How...

How's my character supposed to move?

WOMAN: Perhaps you don't know, James,

that I never even step foot on a yacht

that is less than 80 feet.

BLOND: Come on, guys,

where did you hide my lilac slippers?

(WHISTLING) Enough already.

Prince, I own six castles and 20 carriages.

But there is only one thing

I can declare with certainty...

Life is so tiresome.

(SIRENS BLARING)

FEMALE OFFICER: If you suffer from a sciatic pain,

being a police officer in LA is a real drag!

Oh, Albert, if only you knew how much it has cost me

to guard my virginity

all these years

until today,

until I met you!

SCI-FI GIRL: The Gamma reactor's malfunctioning.

Earth will explode

in five, four,

three, two,

one.

Okay, you win,

I'll go to bed with you,

on one condition.

That you don't come.

That way, Frank,

that way you'll never forget me.

Come on, guys, where did you hide my lilac slippers?

Enough already!

(OVERLAPPING CHATTERING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

So you, uh, spoke to the producer?

I've been in this business too long

not to know that without Brenda,

this film is never going to be made.

Melanie is so beautiful in that picture.

FRED: You're right...

She is beautiful.

You know, I've come to understand something, Fred.

That people are either beautiful or ugly.

The ones in between are merely cute.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

So, another vacation almost over.

What will you do next, Fred?

What am I supposed to do?

I'll go home,

the usual routine.

Not me.

I don't do routine.

(SIGHS)

You know what I'm going to do, Fred?

(SNIFFLES)

I'm going to start on another film.

You say emotions are overrated,

but that's bullshit.

Emotions are all we've got.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(THUDS)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(ENGINE WHIRRING)

(SCREAMING)

WOMAN: Miss, please, calm down.

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

I've gotta get off this plane.

Mick! Please calm down, lady.

BRENDA: Mick! Forgive me!

(CLAMORING)

You fucking bitches. Let me off!

(BELLS CHIMING)

(SOBBING SOFTLY)

(MAN SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)

I don't think this was where I was supposed to land.

(TRILLING)

Mick Boyle used to come by pretty often for a chat.

Why did you call me here, doctor?

Did you want to tell me something?

Oh, I have the results of all the check-ups

you've been doing during your holiday.

And what did they say?

You're as healthy as a horse, Mr. Ballinger. (CHUCKLES)

My, uh, prostate, at least.

(CHUCKLES) Your prostate?

You've never had a problem with your prostate.

And if you haven't had any problems so far,

you're certainly not going to start having them now.

FRED: So, uh, I've grown old

without understanding how I got here.

Do you know what awaits you outside of here?

No. What?

Youth.

(CHUCKLES)

Anyway, um...

Did he ever say anything about Gilda Black?

He never talked about anything else.

Was she his girlfriend?

"Girlfriend" is way too much.

The only thing that ever happened

was one time,

when they were kids.

They held hands and walked together for a few yards

in some park.

He used to call it

"The moment I learned to ride a bike."

(CHUCKLING)

Didn't he ever tell you about it?

No.

We only ever told each other the good things.

(VIOLIN PLAYING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(VIOLIN PLAYING)

Fuck!

(FRED GRUNTS SOFTLY)

I waited till the visiting hours

to come and see you.

They don't know, Melanie.

Children don't know their parents' ordeals.

Sure, they know certain details,

striking elements,

and they know what they need to know

to be on one side or the other.

They don't know that I trembled

the first time I ever saw you on stage.

All the orchestra behind my back

were laughing at my falling in love

and my unexpected fragility.

They don't know that you sold your mother's jewelry

in order to help me with my second piece,

when everyone else was turning me down

and calling me a presumptuous, inelegant musician.

(CHUCKLES) They don't know

that you too, and you were right,

that you thought I was a presumptuous,

inelegant musician

at that time.

And you cried so hard.

Not because you had sold your mother's jewelry,

but because you had sold your mother.

They don't know that we were together,

you and I,

despite all the exhaustion and the pain and the hardship.

Melanie,

they must never know

that you and I,

despite everything,

liked to think of ourselves

as a simple song.

(ALL PLAYING TOGETHER)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(CHATTER STOPS)

(APPLAUSE)

(APPLAUSE)

(APPLAUSE)

Look at me.

(PLAYING SIMPLE SONG NO. 3)

(SINGING) I feel complete

I lose all control

I lose all control

I respond

I feel chills

I wake

I know on those lonely nights

I know on those lonely nights

I know everything

I lose all control

I get a chill

I know on those lonely nights

I die

I hear all that is left behind

I wish you would never stop

I've got a feeling

I live near

I live for you now

I leave no sense behind

I feel complete

I've got a feeling

I wish your body was there

I'll be there

I'll be there

I lose all control

(VIOLIN SOLO PLAYING)

When you whisper my name

When you whisper my name

When you whisper my name

Whisper my name

When you whisper my name

(VOCALIZING)

Whisper

When

You

Whisper

My

Name

Synchro: Peterlin

Just your mouth

Just your love

Just your anointing oils

Just your name

Just your chambers

Just your love

And my mother's sons

And my own vineyard

And my soul

Just your flock

Just your companions

Just your kids

Just your cheeks

Just your neck

Just your couch

And my perfume

And my beloved

And my breasts

And my beloved

And my love

Just your eyes

And my beloved

Our couch

Our house

Our rafters

And my love

And my beloved

Just your shadow

Just your fruit

Just your banner over me

Just your left hand

Just your right hand

And my beloved

And my beloved

Our war

Just your face

Just your voice

Just your voice

Just your face

I'll be yours

Just your flock

And my beloved

And my bed

And my soul

And my soul

And my soul

And my soul

And my modest house

Just your soul

Just your mother

Just your wedding

Just your heart

And my love

Just your eyes

Just your vein

Just your hair

Just your teeth

Just your mouth

Just your cheeks

Just your vein

Just your neck

Just your two wrists

And my love

And my mouth

And my spice

And my honeycomb

And my honey

And my wine

And my milk

And my heart

And my beloved

And my sister

And my love

And my tongue

And my perfect one

And my head

And my locks

And my feet

And my beloved

And my hand

And my heart

And my beloved

And my hands

And my fingers

And my beloved

And my soul

And my beloved