Original subtitles

Mayor? She's appointed a mayor?

An interim acting mayor...

just until Mayor Bey is back from maternity leave.

Due to certain volatile issues before the council right now,

the mayor felt that an unbiased outsider

would be the best choice to lead the city.

Wow! I can't believe it.

Me, the mayor.

Kenny, you should feel this chair,

it is so comfortable, it kind of molds to your butt.

It's amazing.

Oh, would you take a picture for me?

‐Sure, why not? ‐It's for my parents.

Smile.

[whirring]

Thanks.

I could grow to like this.

Well, don't get too comfortable, Max.

Remember, it's only for eight weeks.

I don't want this to come out wrong or anything, but,

Kenny, as long as I'm in office,

you probably should call me mayor.

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]

[Chuck] Would somebody please tell me

what the hell is going on in Rome?

I mean, what is it with this freaking place?

Have you heard about this mayor thing?

I mean, come on,

initially they had this

deaf‐mute bitch on wheels calling the shots

and now they've got Barbarella, I mean, the sheriff's bimbo,

running the show down there.

Oh, man,

I mean, honestly, I mean, I've seen Maxine Stewart, OK?

And quite frankly, you wouldn't have to ask me twice to do her.

I could make her squeal like a pig.

But does that mean I want her

making executive decisions on my behalf?

I don't think so.

I mean, what happens when she's on her period?

[high‐pitched] Oh, shut up, I'm having cramps, you bastards.

[crying]

[normal] Oh, man,

I'd much rather take a homo any day of the week

over that kind of hell and I hope you hear me, mayor.

You're listening to the Chuck Dante Show.

Turn that crap off. That's Max he's talking about.

What can I say, Jimmy? The guy's funny sometimes.

And he makes a point.

There's a reason why women

aren't allowed in combat, sheriff.

Look, the guy is a hate monger,

I don't want to hear him in this station again.

And by the way,

this department is damn lucky

to have Max as mayor right now.

Especially with this new budget up for approval,

we can use her support.

I don't get it, why did she pick Max?

That's this female bonding thing.

Women get together, talk about the enemy, us,

Next thing you know, they're appointing each other mayor.

Face it, pal, we're gelded.

Maybe it's postpartum psychosis caused by some kind of hormone imbalance.

Carter!

Well, why else would she choose Max?

Laurie knew I ran for mayor.

I'm clearly the better qualified candidate.

I'm for slow growth, better schools,

mandatory autopsies.

Don't prejudge, Carter,

Max could do a perfectly fine job.

‐Are you out of your mind? ‐[townsfolk] Yeah!

You let that Multi‐Mart in and you're gonna wipe out

the entire downtown shopping area.

I think I speak for the entire community

when I say you go ahead with is, there's going to be big trouble.

First off, Mr. Murkoff,

I did not say that I was in favor of anything,

I am just trying to be fair.

The Multi‐Mart people have a position just like you do.

Excuse me, girl, who says you speak for the entire community?

‐Pearl speaks for all of us. ‐Stop the Multi‐Mart.

Don't stab us in the back.

[all talking at once]

Your five minutes are up. Next Mr. James Hallett

[intermittent booing]

Jim Hallett, corporate vice president of communications for Multi‐Mart.

Let me dispel some of the fear, folks.

First of all, Multi‐Mart has no intention

of wiping out your local businesses.

Come on!

We don't sell quaint antiques or Aunt Sally's fudge.

We could never compete with that.

We like to think that our presence in the community

has a synergistic effect,

bringing more commerce to all businesses.

Not to mention 300 permanent job positions.

‐There really isn't a downside, ‐[man] We don't need 'em.

‐just an opportunity. ‐Fine...

go ahead and just wipe out our local history.

[townsfolk agreeing]

The proposed site of this so‐called mega monstrosity

is exactly where the Glatveld family

built the town's first homestead.

That's right,

that's our past we're destroying, folks.

As president of the Rome Historical Society,

I have to raise my strongest objection.

[Pearl] Judge Bone has a good point.

I think we need to hear more about this.

And how about an environmental impact report.

There is a parking lot.

Thousand spaces means a thousand cars.

‐I don't like the sound of that. ‐Why not?

Well, what I mean is,

have you ever tried to buy

sneakers or a toaster around here?

And what about those of us who work

and can't shop until after six?

You know it might not be such a bad idea to have a place

that's open late and carries everything.

‐Shop on Saturday, ‐This is a small town.

There's nothing wrong

with a little healthy competition, Burl.

And main street is looking a little run down lately.

[Doug] Mayor Stewart.

‐Mr. Wambaugh. ‐[woman] Come on, Douglas, tell her.

Go ahead, speak for us.

As special counsel to the mayor,

I'd like to remind you

that your temporarily indisposed predecessor

was decidedly slow growth

in her approach to this issue.

I am aware of that, Mr. Wambaugh.

Yes, but, Mayor Stewart,

under these circumstances it would behoove you to‐‐

But as acting mayor,

I will make my own decision on this issue.

Thank you for your input.

You can't change policy, Max.

Laurie Bey appointed me.

No strings attached. I have full authority.

And while we're on the subject.

‐You're fired. ‐What?

You questioned me in front of the entire council.

Frankly, Doug, I don't think you believe in me.

So...

you're out.

‐Fat. ‐[Jimmy] What?

If you skim the fat off the sheriff's department budget,

you'd have enough grease to open your own burger joint.

What are you talking about?

This budget's lean as it gets, Maxine.

[scoffs] You forget who you're talking to.

I know where the skeletons are buried

and most of them are right here

between lines seven and twenty three.

‐Uh... ‐Thirty‐five thousand dollars for clerical support.

What clerical support?

‐Otis Prager and Charlene Gibbon only work half days. ‐Max, Max,

‐we need a full‐timer, you know that. ‐No, you don't.

Everyone can type their own reports.

I don't believe this.

Since when do you have such strong opinions about our budget?

I don't remember this coming up before.

I have to look at things differently now, Jimmy,

I'm the mayor.

Now if you want me to take your budget seriously,

you're going to have to rework those numbers.

‐Women are sex objects. ‐Chuck, please.

Come on, Doc,

you're a doctor, you know it's biological.

If women weren't sex objects,

why would men even want to hang around with them, for crying out loud?

I'll bet you most men would rather hang around with me

than their wives because I've got a better personality.

Let me ask you a question.

No, you know what? This is my show

and I get to ask the questions, Chuck.

No, really, let me ask you a question.

‐You have an active sex life, right? ‐Chuck,

we're here to talk about your quick release problem.

Isn't that the reason you're on the show?

Get real, the only reason I'm on your show is

to boost your flagging ratings.

we'll get around to my hair trigger in a little while.

By the way, what's your cup size?

You know, this sort of, just deteriorates‐‐

I'd say about a B.

Well, you know what, you can say whatever you want.

I won't dignify that with a response.

A B‐cup is nothing to be ashamed of, sweetheart.

I mean, it's perfect. More than a mouthful is always a waste.

But I'll tell you something else, this new mayor of yours,

now she is sporting quite a set of sweater puppies.

I'll bet you they're still being milk fed

What's her deal? She got like a girlfriend?

A lot of men call me

with concerns about premature ejaculation.

Let's talk about how you deal with that problem.

I'm telling you she is one hot fox

but I don't trust her, you know why?

She's like a human Barbie doll,

if she took off her shoes I'll bet you

she couldn't stand up by herself you know what I say,

I say impeach the bimbo. Impeach the bimbo,

people, come on impeach the bimbo.

‐Whoa! Hello! Is that real? ‐What?

Your hair. Oh, an, it's a major turn on.

I just want to grab it and drag you around the room right now.

Okay, Chuck, brass tacks

What are we talking about, five seconds and out?

All right, all right, I admit it.

You know I'm quick on the draw

but I've got a huge magazine, carries a lot of rounds,

and it doesn't take me but a minute to reload.

You know, I really think I'm good at this.

Max, you've only been in office, what a day and a half?

I know, I know, but I really do think that I have an aptitude for it.

I just never had the guts to put myself out there before.

You should really be careful, you know.

It's just there's so many issues out there in front of us right now.

I mean, there's parkland zoning

slow growth, teen curfews, and now my opinion counts.

Well, maybe you should lay back,

check things out before you jump in with both feet.

I always thought that I wanted Jimmy's job.

Now...

I think maybe politics is my destiny.

When my term is up,

I might consider running for higher office

like state senator or something. What do you think?

I think you're pissing people off.

Okay, Kenny, I hear what you're saying,

but I do think it's just typical male insecurity.

Some men have a problem with women in positions of power.

But you know what? That's too damn bad.

I'm not running in a popularity contest.

A leader doesn't follow, a leader leads.

Max, the word is that Laurie appointed you mayor

because you didn't think you'd do anything

except change your wardrobe.

That's not true.

I spoke to Laurie this morning

and I have her full support.

Maybe it just took another woman to recognize my potential.

I‐I've got a meeting. I'm gonna put this on my tab.

♪ Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk ♪

♪I'm a woman's man no need to talk ♪

You drive me crazy, just looking at you coming to me, come to me.

‐My God, I've gotta go. ‐No, no no, no I am gonna make you moan.

No, I think you're gonna make me laugh.

Let's see.

[both grunt]

[woman sighs, laughs]

Welcome to the Inferno, Ignacio.

By the way, what kind of name is that?

‐Uh, w hat do you mean? ‐What I mean, Ignacio,

is that it isn't American, is it?

‐Listen, Chuck. I am American ‐Yeah, right.

Like, there were a lot of pilgrims

named Ignacio on the Mayflower.

Give me a break! Where are you from?

Okay, look, Chuck,

I didn't call you to tell you where I'm from.

I just think you're being a little hard on the mayor.

Why? Because I put her at the top of my list of women

who piss me off?

Hey, as far as I'm concerned, she's the female Newt Gingrich.

She knows nothing about city politics

and yet instead of keeping her mouth shut

and just twiddling her thumbs

until Helen Keller gets back,

she's become, what, a demagogue with a hair fetish!

I mean, how many times can a woman

change her hair color in a week?

‐What's a demagogue? ‐Shh!

And all of a sudden this bimbo has an opinion on everything.

and Multi‐Mart,

is that why we live in small town Wisconsin?

To watch the pizzification of America

happen in our own backyards?

Why is she picking on the little guys?

I like those crappy old shops downtown.

You know what I hope?

I hope something bad happens to her like, cancer or AIDS,

or better yet, someone should just put her out of her misery.

‐[turns off] ‐Who said that you could listen to that?

It's just the radio, Mom.

That man, that Chuck Dante,

he's a racist misogynist pig.

He's funny, Mom.

‐Funny's no excuse. ‐He's kidding.

I mean, everyone listens to Chuck

just to see how far I'll go, that's all.

What's the big deal?

The big deal is you're my sons.

I expect more from you.

Censorship, alive and well in the 90s.

Thirty‐three‐year‐old male with enlarged mammary glands,

palpations reveal no masses.

‐[knock on door] ‐[door opens]

[door closes]

Do you think deep down all guys secretly hate their mothers?

There's no secret about it.

I walked in this morning to find my own sons listening to Chuck Dante.

I give up.

Jill, don't be too hard on them.

I actually think he's kind of funny.

Oh, come on, how can you laugh at somebody

who so obviously hates women?

Not to mention anyone else who isn't a, a white moronic male.

Jill, Dante schtick is just that, it's an act.

He doesn't actually believe that stuff.

It's just his way of getting ratings.

This morning he was railing at Max,

and it got very ugly.

And my sons are sitting there laughing.

You got to admit, sometimes Dante is very clever.

Besides, I'll bet it's very cathartic for the idiots

who actually, like, buy that stuff.

Why are you defending him? He's a monster.

He talked about your breasts

on your own show, for God's sake!

Just forget it!

We obviously have a difference of opinion on this.

I can deal with him, you can't.

Fine.

I slept with him.

You're kidding!

Joanna, I don't know what to say!

‐I didn't think even you‐‐ ‐Jill, he is not as bad as you‐‐

Don't start!

This man is dangerous!

I won't let my own sons listen to him.

I can't believe that you would let him touch you.

That's sick, Joanna.

Okay, it's sick, it's sick, okay.

It's, it's a sick animal thing, I admit it.

What can I say? I am just

inexplicably, incredibly attracted to him.

I don't know, maybe it's because he is so vile.

Maybe it's some weird self‐esteem thing, I don't know.

All I know is that I cannot help myself.

I just really respond to him

and the sex is great!

[groans]

[door slams shut]

All right, maybe it's not great but it's interesting.

Yay.

Mr. Watkins?

[Watkins] Nay.

[Max] And finally, Mr. Hayden.

Nay.

Okay,

that's five yays and five nays.

I guess that leaves me with a deciding vote.

I've given this matter a lot of thought

and for me it comes down to one thing.

Do we want to be a sleepy backwater

with just a few dusty old stores?

I mean, I've patrolled main street, folks,

and no one's shopping there.

Do we want to move into the 21st century?

I think we do. I vote yay.

[man] No! Traitor!

Traitor! Traitor!

[chanting] Impeach the bimbo!

What is she thinking?

[chanting] Impeach the bimbo!

Adjourned.

Maybe you better go out the back way.

No, I'll go out the front.

Quite a community!

You can't get away with this, you hear me?

I'll lose my business because of this, you stupid bitch!

Who appointed you God?

[Chuck] The bimbo demagogue strikes again.

Come on, people, I warned you.

I warned you!

Didn't I tell you that Maxine Stewart

was a Mussolini in the making?

Now look what she's done to Rome.

Oh, man! One Multi‐Mart

and she's opened up the floodgates to every strip mall

and pizza joint that wants to make a buck.

I mean, who does this woman think she is, anyway?

I mean, doesn't she realize that she's actually ruining lives with this thing?

‐Oh, man, Arnie you still there? ‐Yeah, I'm here, Chuck.

All right, so, now you're a small business owner in Rome?

[laughs] For the moment.

Is this thing gonna completely screw you or what?

I'm dead meat, we all are.

I got a mortgage man, kids to feed, this stuck‐up bitch,

she has no idea what it's like to live in the real world.

I got one more question for you, Arnie.

What do you think of women holding political office?

They suck!

‐I say‐‐ ‐Impeach the bimbo, elect Chuck

Impeach the bimbo, elect Chuck.

Everybody repeat after me. Next call.

Have I made a mistake?

I mean, I really studied this Multi‐Mart issue.

No, sometimes you have to take a lot of flack

to do what you think is right.

So typical! When a man's decisive, he's strong.

When a woman's decisive, she's a bitch.

Sometimes she's just a bitch! Fries anyone?

‐You think I'm a bitch? ‐Don't listen to her, Max.

You're beautiful, you're smart, you're in charge.

What could be more threatening?

Why do all these men hate Hillary Clinton?

And why are they more interested in Marcia Clark's hairstyle

than in her trial work?

Face it, these men don't want to see a woman on top unless it's during sex.

Agreed and that is why when you're a woman in power,

you've got to be extremely careful.

Otherwise, they'll just write you off

for some psycho feminists,

who's out to cut up their testicles.

You've lost all credibility as far as I'm concerned.

Listen, Max, you're smart, you're a babe, use it.

Yes, take off your shirt and shake your tatas

for the city council.

That'll boost your popularity rating.

You threaten their sensitive little egos,

that gets you nothing.

So?

So play 'em.

Who cares if they think of you as a sex object

as long as you get what you want?

You call yourself a feminist!

I prefer to think of myself as successful, though.

Why can't Max be strong, intelligent, and decisive?

Because she's not a man.

[door opens and closes]

‐Max, can I talk to you for a second? ‐Not now.

Jimmy says you're thinking of cutting the corners off his budget by 20%.

‐Carter, if you wanna talk about this, ‐...completely detrimental‐‐

you'll have to make an appointment with Rebecca, OK?

What do you say to those critics who claim you're cheapening our city?

I say, go back to your Adam Smith.

If it's not working, it deserves to die.

[Stubby] Hey, Max!

[man] I got it!

Send us an ambulance. Max has been shot.

The mayor has been shot, send an ambulance now, immediately, now!

[overlapping dialogs]

‐[woman] BP's 80 over 50. ‐She's lost a lot of blood!

[woman 2] Both IV's wide open with normal saline.

Four units [unclear] four units.

On my count. One, two, three.

Decreased breath sounds on the left side.

Let's get respiratory down here.

‐I need chest X‐ray, stat! ‐She's desaturating.

O2's in the 70s and dropping.

Get me a 14‐gauge needle and the chest‐tube tray.

Oh, my God! I just heard. What have you got?

A gunshot wound to the left chest with a rigid abdomen,

and she's still hypotensive after two liters of saline.

Looks like you got a tension pneumothorax.

Don't wait for the X‐ray.

‐[Carter] Come on, Max. ‐[Jill] Hang on, Max, hang on.

[woman] O2's in the lung, 90s. BP's 90 over 60.

What kind of a nut case would do this?

I heard he was wearing a Chuck Dante button.

We got a positive peritoneal lavage with a hemothorax.

Looks like the bullet passed through her chest into her abdomen.

Okay, come on, everybody. Let's get her ready for the OR.

Stay with us, Max.

[woman] Get OR two ready.

Stubby, I'm here because your mother called me.

Let me guess, she's pissed.

Well, put it this way...

She's concerned.

And with good reason.

There are about 25 witnesses to the shooting, half of them were reporters.

You'll be charged with attempted homicide, maybe murder.

Yeah, well, that's what happens.

You shot the mayor.

Maybe we should talk.

You don't think I know what this is about?

I know damn well what this is all about.

I've been dealing with this crap my whole life, OK?

See,

nobody in this town ever thought

that I could make a go of the store after Dad died.

Idiots.

I knew exactly what it needed.

Wider aisles, a gardening department,

household appliances, a good return policy.

I doubled sales.

Well, that's all very well and good, Stubby.

The stupid bimbo just wanted to take the whole thing away.

It's like Chuck says ‐‐ the pizzification of America...

‐Chuck? ‐Dante, the radio guy.

Oh, he's got this whole thing pegged, believe you me.

Oh, yeah, yeah,

she's picking on the little guys

and we're supposed to sit around just let that happen?

We? Did somebody put you up to this?

Whose side are you on anyway?

I'll fire you in a millisecond

if I think you're going behind my back, you understand me?

‐That's your prerogative. ‐Damn right.

But I would think long and hard.

You committed a public crime.

I suggest that you shut up

and play it my way.

How's she doing?

Her vitals are stable, and her stats are good on 40%.

But her urine output has been borderline.

I hope we're not looking at renal failure.

I gotta go to the lab.

This is not the way it's supposed to be, Max.

Mr. Lambaugh, you wanted to see me?

Oh, Kimberly! [laughs]

Come in, Kimberly, come in.

Your beautiful face hasn't graced this office for some time now.

‐Come and sit down, my dear. ‐Mmm.

‐What do you want? ‐I need your help.

Mr. Wambaugh, I'm taking a full load at Atagame this year.

Do you know Stubby Muller?

The guy who shot Max?

I'm representing him.

Now that's a tough one.

I need a lot of research from someone I could trust.

You're asking me to help defend the guy who shot Max?

But the facts aren't the issue, my dear.

I don't know, Mr. Wambaugh.

Stubby Muller is a nutso.

Oh, he's been delusional for years.

But quite harmless until now.

What happened?

That's what we need to find out.

Well...

Do you know anything about this

Dante character?

Chuck Dante. I've heard a show a few times.

Good, I'm going to need a lot of Information.

Hey, babe, what are you doing here?

We gotta talk.

Why start now?

Oh, God, I love your hair.

You heard what happened to the mayor?

Yeah, yeah. Tough break.

I mean, I couldn't believe it.

I just spent the day trying to keep her alive.

Oh!

And, um...

I'm a little bit bothered by the fact

that the shooter was wearing one of your buttons.

You are? [scoffs]

God, what is it with these sickos?

I don't even want to live in the same country

as these idiots.

‐I don't know. ‐Come here, you look like hell.

‐I don't even like you. ‐Shut up.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[Jill] Honey...

[sighs]

I thought you're gonna wait for me,

we could have come home together.

She looked so small.

Max is tough, Jimmy,

and she's doing a lot better than we expected.

How many mayors does this town have to lose

before the sheriff's department

does its job of protecting them?

Jimmy, you couldn't have known.

She was upsetting people, she was making them mad.

Things got out of control. I should have‐‐

‐What? ‐I don't know,

gotten that guy off the radio? I don't know.

‐Something. ‐Come on, Jimmy.

I'm the sheriff, Jill.

My job is to protect.

And this is Max.

[Chuck] Let's face it, she's got that rich bitch

I don't give a crap who I step on kind of thing happening.

I mean, I grew up with girls like Maxine Stewart.

Okay, she's good looking but the woman is cold, man.

Man, I mean, what's her problem?

Doesn't she know she's hurting people?

This chick doesn't have a family,

doesn't own a home,

and yet in a minute and a half

she makes a decision that destroys lives. I hate her.

Someone ought to destroy her livelihood,

do us all a big favor.

[click]

What are you thinking?

Sure, Stubby is unstable but...

what suddenly pushed him over the edge?

Let's say you're Stubby.

You live in that crummy little apartment

over your woefully outdated hardware store.

No friends to speak of

and no life outside your job.

So every day from 8 to 11

you listen to that guy over the radio.

He is your friend, he understands.

And in no uncertain terms he tells you

that Maxine Stewart is the enemy.

Your enemy.

So you agree with him.

Maxine Stewart is the cause of your problems.

So what do you do?

Get rid of the problem.

[Kenny] Hail Mary full of grace.

The lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst women.

And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,

pray for us sinners now

and at the hour of our death

Hail Mary, full of grace...

[Kelly] It's my medical opinion that

Mr. Muller suffers from paranoid personality disorder.

In response to stress,

individuals with this disorder

may experience brief psychotic episodes.

And in your opinion, Dr. Kelly,

was Mr. Muller having one of those psychotic episodes

when he shot the mayor?

Yes. Based on my extensive examination of Mr. Mueller

and interviews with his associates,

my opinion is he was psychotic at the time of the shooting.

[Douglas] Finally, Doctor, in your opinion,

could Mr. Muller distinguish right from wrong when he pulled the trigger?

In my opinion, he could not, no.

Thank you, Doctor.

How much time did you spend

in your extensive examination with the defendant, Doctor?

About seven hours in all.

In those seven hours you were able to determine

beyond a shadow of a doubt

that he has paranoid personality disorder?

That's my opinion, yes.

Oh... your opinion.

In those seven hours, Doctor,

did you yourself, ever, see the defendant

exhibit any psychotic behavior?

‐No. ‐No?

Stubby Muller ran a business in Rome for 20 years.

He was treasurer of the downtown business association.

If he were as paranoid and delusional as you claim,

how could he be capable of that?

People with paranoid personality disorder

often appear to be quite objective, even rational.

However this superficial calm

masks the extreme paranoia

and deep distrust that controls their life.

Yeah, we all knew Stubby was a little out there.

But he came to all the meetings

and he knew how to add.

So we made an association treasurer.

Objection to the term "out there".

Okay, how about lunatic?

‐Objection! ‐Sustained.

Let's just stick to the facts.

Very well, Mr. Murkoff,

did you ever see Stubby do anything

to make your doubt his mental stability?

Well, he was always suing everybody.

He thought Water and Power was contaminating his water.

Stuff like that.

And that was the time he thought the guy at Barney's [unclear] peed in his drink.

Stubby smashed his windshield

with a brand new plumber's wrench.

And this is the man your organization

put in charge of your entire annual budget?

Hey, the budget was only a few hundred dollars.

That was mostly for donuts at meetings

and Christmas lights every year.

Besides, no one else wanted the job.

Nevertheless, Mr. Murkoff,

you trusted him to control the books, didn't you?

Yeah, right.

How does it feel to be subpoenaed, Chuck?

Hey, I'm getting a hot flash!

No, come on, guys, it's a political trial.

An effort to shut me up.

These are from Maxine Stewart. Thanks.

But it's not going to work. I mean, they can't stop me

because I've been through it all.

Public school, IRS audit, premature ejaculation.

[laughter]

Come on, look, I had nothing to do with the shooting.

But you watch, they're going to try to crucify me on the stand

and that, folks, is where your tax dollars are going.

Want a picture, sweet heart?

If you had nothing to do with it,

‐what are you doing here, Chuck? ‐Hey,

Maxine Stewart's a human being just like anybody else.

I'm here just to offer my condolences.

Maybe I can even cheer her up.

‐[man] Jesus! ‐[woman] What's going on?

Crazy man, another crazy cop!

Who the hell do you think you are coming in here?

‐Kenny! You're a bum. I should smack you right now!

‐[crunch] Kenny!

‐Its a hospital, stop it! Kenny! ‐Well, get him out of here.

Mr. Macho Man,

Jeez, just trying to be the nice guy here.

But if her little toadie won't let me get close to her, fine.

I got better things to do.

Okay, guys, if we wanted to visit stiffs,

we could go down to the morgue, let's go.

[reporter] Thank you. Thank you. We appreciate it.

Shut up!

[Douglas] Mr. Dante,

how well do you know my client?

I don't.

What, never heard of him?

Well, not until he shot the mayor.

Isn't Stubby Muller the current president of the Chuck Dante tri‐county fan club?

‐How am I supposed to know? ‐Well...

here's a copy of the fan club's January 1996 newsletter

and, Mr. Dante, there's Stubby's name. They're as big as‐‐

You're right, yes, there it is! Well, that's news to me.

Come on. Look, these nimrods get together,

sit around the radio and play with themselves.

I have nothing to do with them.

But you correspond with them, Mr. Dante.

‐What? ‐I have here a letter

dated February 1st 1996.

I would like to read this letter.

"Dear Chuck,

I agree with you 100 %

of what you said about the IRS.

From now on, if those bureaucratic bastards want my money,

they're gonna have to come and get it.

Same goes for my ex‐wife.

If that bitch whines anymore about alimony,

she'd better watch it.

Ha ha!

Hey, can you send me a t‐shirt?

I'm an extra large.

Your number one fan, Stubby."

Do you remember receiving this letter?

Are you kidding? This is like 75 % of the letters I get.

But you responded to it.

That is your signature, isn't it?

So what? Big deal!

I mean, this is what we send out to keep the freaks happy.

A form letter that says, "Don't give an inch, give him hell!"

Now your letter says that doesn't it?

Objection, Your Honor.

This is pointless.

Overruled...

for now.

But get on with it.

[Douglas] So, what you're saying is that

the majority of your fans are nimrods and freaks.

Well, it's a hell of a job but somebody has to do it.

And yet knowing the questionable mental condition of some of your listeners,

you still feel comfortable advocating hatred on the air?

Objection, Your Honor.

The issue here is the defendant's guilt

not Mr. Dante's personality.

The issue is whether this witness

caused my client to have a psychotic reaction?

The objection's overruled.

Referring to Maxine Stewart.

You recently said on the air.

"I hope something bad happens to the mayor

like cancer or aids,

or better yet

someone should put her out of her misery."

Well, Mr. Dante,

how are we supposed to interpret that?

I'm a satirist!

Satirists say outrageous things.

Hey, what we're talking about here is the First Amendment, OK?

I mean, all I do is say what the people out there are thinking

and then I give my opinion and that's all it is.

My opinion.

I'm not the Dalai Lama.

This isn't an absolute truth.

I mean, what are we, a nation of sheep?

Just because there's so many crazies out there

that are willing to do something stupid,

doesn't make it my responsibility.

It's not my responsibility.

‐Not your responsibility? ‐No!

You so much you said that you wanted the mayor to die,

that somebody should put her out of her misery.

In effect...

you're encouraging someone

to do her harm, weren't you?

Words, that's all they are.

Well, words can do harm, Mr. Dante.

I'm an entertainer, come on!

It's the name of the game.

Oh, It's all a game to you, isn't it?

You'd even advocate violence

for an extra point in the ratings, wouldn't you?

Objection! move to strike.

‐Wambaugh, that's enough. ‐Withdrawn.

Nothing further.

Mr. Dante, did you ever at any time

encourage anyone to shoot

or otherwise harm mayor Maxine Stewart?

No, I didn't.

Did you have anything at all

to do with the shooting of Maxine Stewart?

Absolutely not.

No further questions.

You may step down, Mr. Dante.

The court will take a 15‐minute recess.

I guess I thought he was...

You deserve better.

You think so?

‐Hey, Kenny. ‐Zack.

I've been reading up on serious injuries.

Did you know that the best therapy for the comatose is music?

Zach, Max isn't exactly, um...

‐[click] ‐[music playing]

♪ The sun'll come out tomorrow ♪

♪ Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow ♪

♪ There'll be sun ♪

♪ Just thinkin' about tomorrow ♪

♪ Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow ♪

No... No...

Max.

I'm in hell.

Someone keeps singing songs from Annie.

You are not in Hell, Max. That's Zack singing.

Kenny.

Max.

♪ I love ya tomorrow ♪

♪ You're always a day ♪

♪ Away ♪

[song ends]

[Douglas] We all know Stubby Muller

is mentally unbalanced.

That should come as a surprise to no one in this town.

However, Stubby managed to live here for 40 odd years

without harming a single person, until now.

So what happened?

I'll tell you what. Chuck Dante!

Now think about it.

Think about the effect he's had on you.

Why was he number one DJ in the tri‐county area?

Because we found him compelling, amusing.

He said things many of us thought

but wouldn't dare say.

Stubby was no different from me or you.

Except for one thing...

He wasn't stable.

So when Chuck Dante told him

that Maxine Stewart was the cause of all his troubles,

you can bet Stubby believed him.

That's how powerful Chuck Dante is.

He could push Stubby Miller on to the other side of reason.

Well, Mr. Dante, well,

he may have the right to say whatever he wants.

But his kind of power breeds hatred

sometimes even violence.

Maxine Stewart was a victim of that twisted power

and so was Stubby Muller.

But just as sure

as Stubby shot the mayor,

it was Chuck Dante who pulled the trigger.

I urge you, please,

find Stubby Miller

not responsible for this tragedy.

[clears throat]

Ladies and gentlemen,

let's get something straight.

Chuck Dante did not shoot Maxine Stewart,

Stubby Muller did.

With malice of forethought, he bought a gun.

He went to the courthouse and he waited for her to appear.

Why? Because Maxine Stewart cast a deciding vote

for what he perceived

as a destruction of his way of life.

His motive was revenge, pure and simple.

Now, if Stubby Muller is insane...

Come on, we're all insane!

He knew the difference between right and wrong then,

he knows it now.

And we should all recognize

the defense strategy for what it is.

A desperate cowardly attempt to shift responsibility

from the real assailant to an imagined one.

It's a witch hunt.

Search for a scapegoat.

Don't you be fooled by it.

Stubby Muller shot Maxine Stewart.

Stubby Muller is on trial here.

Stubby Muller should go to jail.

All right, Bobby, welcome to the Inferno.

Chuck, you suck!

[chuckle] It's cute. A poem, something you wrote yourself?

You're everything that's wrong with America, Chuck.

You're nothing but a despicable loudmouth Jew.

Lovely sentiment, Bobby.

but I got news for you, I'm not even Jewish.

If you want to slur me, call me a Kraut, you ignorant pig farmer.

What's the matter with you, Rome?

Lost your sense of humor?

[sighs]

[Judge] Would the defendant please rise?

Madame foreperson, what say you?

In the matter of the People versus Stubby Muller,

on the charge of attempted murder,

we find the defendant not guilty.

[crowd gasping]

What does this mean?

It means they think you're insane,

congratulations.

‐[gavel banging] ‐[Judge] Quiet.

‐[gavel banging] ‐Quiet. Quiet.

Well...

you people never cease to amaze me.

So you think Stubby Muller is not guilty?

He was merely a tool in the hands of some radio announcer.

Will somebody please tell me

what's happened to personal responsibility in this country?

Answer me this, people.

Who bought the gun?

Who pulled that trigger?

If you say Mr. Mueller is crazy, so be it.

But don't think he'll be walking the streets of Rome anytime soon.

I hereby find the defendant to be mentally ill

and dangerous to the community.

I therefore commit Stubby Muller

to the lock unit

of the Mendota Mental Health Institute in Madison

pending review of his mental condition by me

in six months.

And I can tell you now, Mr. Mueller,

I think it extremely unlikely

that you will be released

before you serve the maximum term under the law,

which by my reckoning is about 17 years.

Bailiff, take the defendant into custody.

We're done.

‐[Rebecca] They fired Chuck Dante today. ‐[man] Looking good, Mayor.

[Rebecca] The Citizens for Cleaner Airwaves

gathered 5,000 signatures. And WXDE,

in a show of courage, sent him packing.

Now, doesn't that make us all feel better?

The Big Bad Wolf has finally blown his own house down.

Well, before you break your arms patting yourselves on the back,

consider this...

Chuck Dante

is a product of our own making.

Without us sniggering at his ugly, mean‐spirited

brand of humor, he would have no show.

There's an animal that lives in all of us, people.

Chuck Dante just knows its name.

And it's up to us to recognize this beast

before it becomes us.

I know why I slept with Chuck Dante, folks.

Why did you?

[man] And we're out. And thank you everybody.

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]