Original subtitles

Okay, and Sunny.

Jill Brock, Joanna Diamond.

Hey, I know you. You’re Dr. Joey.

That’s right, honey. Have a pencil.

Jill, one minute of your time.

Oh, God. What a morning.

There’s no oxygen here, is there?

Uh, I’m in the middle of seeing a patient.

‐Could you wait out‐‐? ‐No, unfortunately, no.

I’ve got to be at the studio in 20 minutes.

You’ve seen my cable TV show? Ask Dr. Joey.

No. That’s okay. I’ll send you some tapes.

Look, Dr. whoever‐the‐hell your name is,

‐this is my office, you can’t‐‐ ‐Right, that’s exactly why I’m here.

I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.

I’m going to buy your practice.

What?

I’ve done my homework, Jill.

You are a hell of a doctor.

But that’s not enough anymore, is it?

Now, when we went to medical school, what was it all about?

The patient, right?

Nowadays, who the hell cares about the patient?

You do.

That’s what makes you Rome’s favorite pin‐up girl.

I think you’d better leave.

Yeah, but now you’re tired, girlfriend.

You’ve been doing this what, 10, 15 years?

And patient loyalty, what’s that?

It’s about as reliable as the rhythm method.

I mean, nowadays, it’s all about HMOs, IPAs, PCM,

patient base, capitation, compensation. I mean,

is this medicine? I don’t know.

Is it big business? You bet your ass.

Is it what you want to be doing? I don’t think so.

My practice isn’t for sale.

Check your revenues, Jill.

Three years of steady decline.

Getting kind of cold out there.

Omega Care wants to take you under her wing,

and it’s getting pretty tempting.

I mean, you’ve got a husband, kids.

How many hours a day do you wanna work?

Reality check, Jill.

Here are your options.

A, you can stay in private practice

and watch your patients walk out the door.

Or B, go to Omega Care and sell your practice to me

while it’s still worth something.

If you’re not out of here in about two seconds

I’m grabbing you by that shawl of yours

and I’m throwing you out.

The idea scares you. That’s okay. That’s natural.

Take some time, think about it.

Oh, wow. I gotta get to makeup.

Look, if you wanna talk, I’m listed.

It’s Joana, no "H," one "N,"

Diamond, as in a girl’s best friend.

It’s on the pencil. [clicks tongue]

[door opens]

[door closes]

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]

[man on TV] Stay tuned for more Ask Dr. Joey...

Hey, honey.

Who would be crazy enough to ask that woman anything?

She’s a maniac.

The arrogance of that woman.

Assuming that I’m going to the HMO

like I’m not tough enough to make it.

‐[Jimmy chuckles] Hi. ‐Hi, honey. Oh.

What is this? She wants to buy your business and...

Yes, she wants my office, she wants my patient base.

[clears throat] If I go to the HMO,

I’m gonna have to leave a lot of my patients behind.

She’s the kind who takes on as much work as possible

and then hires some resident to handle the caseload.

Oh, get me the tomatoes, would you?

[Jimmy] Okay.

Medicine is a volume business

with doctors like her.

Patients in, patients out.

Honey, help out and get the napkins, okay?

I can’t do that to my people.

‐[Matthew] Pizza again? ‐Matthew, you know what?

If you want something else, you cook it.

I like it, Mom.

I thought you were considering Omega Care.

Well, they’ve called me a few times.

That doesn’t mean I’m considering it.

Hi.

And don’t even ask me to do that laundry.

Well, it’s nice to see you, too.

‐[door closes] ‐Well, Kimberly,

just in time for dinner.

Hey, honey. Welcome.

Hi, Daddy.

‐[Jimmy] Hmm. How’s it going? ‐[Kimberly] Fine.

[Dr. Joey on TV] Look, Mindy, if you’ve overweight

then stop eating so damn much.

And get off your fat butt and take a walk once in a while.

I mean, you gotta change your life or shut up.

‐Cool. ‐Zachary, turn that off and help me with the salad.

‐[woman] ...so much. ‐[Dr. Joey] So do I, Mindy...

I like her. She’s kind of weird.

Dr. Joey? We watch her all the time at the house.

‐[Jimmy] You do? ‐[Kimberly] Uh‐huh.

‐[Dr. Joey] Okay? ‐[woman] Okay.

All right, next up,

we’ve got Darren,

who’s concerned about the size of the penis.

‐[Jill] Zachary, I mean it. ‐Uh...

Put the tomatoes in the salad for me, okay?

‐Jill. ‐Oh, Jimmy,

I have been on call every other night for a month.

I’m a little bit tired.

Mom, what if I wear a white suit like John Travolta?

John Travolta in Pulp Fiction?

Saturday Night Fever.

‐For the dance tomorrow night. ‐Yeah. Okay.

Why do you want to look like John Travolta?

‐It’s a ’70s theme dance. ‐I promised Matthew

I’d help him with his costume.

[Jimmy] When did you get interested in dancing?

‐Since he met Gina Watson. ‐Shut up.

All right. Come on, everybody. Let’s sit down. Let’s eat.

‐Okay. ‐Hey.

What about me?

Oh, I didn’t know you were coming.

‐[pager beeping] ‐Oh, damn it.

[sighs]

Oh, well, I’ll just take your plate.

[sighs] Save a slice for you.

Wine, gentlemen?

Mouton Cadet.

Not the Baron’s best,

but still just the right oakiness

for a Boeuf en Croute.

Boeuf en what?

Beef in a pastry crust.

I got it off of my Julia Child video.

Hmm.

Red wine gives me migraines.

[Douglas] Pour away, my good man.

Aah.

Hmm.

He does this every night.

Four‐course meals. Two different wines.

Man’s got too much time on his hands.

You can consider yourself blessed, Judge.

My own Myriam is not exactly gifted in the culinary arts.

If it can’t be boiled, Myriam won’t cook it.

After 40 years of boiled,

a man needs a little fried, a little roasted, a little texture.

So you’re kicking up your heels now that she’s gone, huh?

What gone? I should be so lucky.

This woman is having a hormone flashback.

I thought she was living at Selma Rubenthal’s.

It happened before. To tell you the truth, I’ve hardly noticed her absence.

A man has only one wife, Douglas.

So, what good does it do us?

After 40 years you would think that...

a man earned a certain amount of loyalty.

And then they turn on you at the slightest provocation.

Frankly, um, I thought you were over the top at your anniversary party.

So I told a few jokes. Guilty as charged.

The people expect it. I’m a character.

It’s her problem if she doesn’t have a sense of humor.

Word is, you tried to kick her out of the bathtub during the tornado.

What kick? I got there first.

There was plenty of room for her under the sink.

I know in retrospect that it looks bad,

but who was to know that she would take it so personally?

[woman on PA] Dr. Shriver, pediatrics.

‐Jill. ‐Hey, Harry.

What are you doing here? I’m on call tonight.

Didn’t Eileen tell you?

I’m not in the call group anymore.

What?

Quit private practice. Joined Omega Care.

Couldn’t hack fee‐for‐service.

Really?

Hey, it’s a dog‐eat‐dog world out there.

I figured, surrender now or get frozen out later.

[indistinct conversation]

‐[siren wailing] ‐[woman on radio] Unit 338...

[indistinct arguing in foreign language]

[indistinct arguing]

Liar! He’s not my husband!

[speaking foreign language]

All right, all right. Now, step back

and drop that chicken or someone’s gonna get hurt.

Don’t hurt him. He not understand.

I don’t understand, either. You married to this guy?

No! I went to my job!

He come, he put me in the car! Bring me here to have sex!

He kidnapped you and tried to rape you?

Not true! She’s going to be my wife.

‐Liar, liar. ‐Look, pal,

I know where you’re from, but that’s not how it works here, okay?

That means you’re gonna have to come with me.

‐[indistinct shouting] ‐Let’s go.

The Hmongs originally came from China, Jimmy.

They were forced into Laos in the 1800s

and became part of the Laos town.

They’re mountaintop people.

Who cares where they came from, Carter?

You have to consider the context, Max.

You can’t just jump to conclusions.

Conclusions?

The guy kidnapped the girl. He was going to rape her.

Max, the Hmong are traditional people.

One could even say primitive by our standards.

That doesn’t make them wrong necessarily.

That was a buddy of mine in the Western force.

He says the Hmong have been in all kinds of trouble over there.

It’s complicated, Kenny.

You have to remember, the CIA recruited the Hmong

to fight for our side in Vietnam and then abandoned them.

They’ve been persecuted horribly.

Not our problem, Carter.

Maybe not yours, Max.

I’m part of a church liaison committee

helping them resettle in this country, Jimmy.

They’re really quite delightful people.

We’re willing to help you Carter,

but this is a serious situation.

Your boy is facing felony charges.

[shouting in foreign language]

[Kenny] Break it up, break it up.

‐Easy, easy. ‐What’s going on?

He’s Mia’s father. Says Vue did not pay for his daughter.

Pay.

It’s customary for‐‐

‐He wants $5,000! ‐[speaking foreign language]

He says, no chicken ceremony, no sex,

they are not married.

He no pay.

Delightful.

Douglas Wambaugh for the yellow pimpernel.

Where’s my client?

Your client?

Thank you, Carter, for the referral.

‐Where’s Mr. Kong Voo? ‐Vue.

Whatever.

I’m here to secure his release.

Carter, Carter, Carter...

it’s so refreshing...

to see Christians and Jews uniting in the spirit of honest litigation.

Oh, Douglas, there you are.

Myriam.

Myriam. [clears throat]

You’ve come back to your senses.

What did I tell you, gentlemen? They always come back.

Douglas, is there somewhere we can talk?

Does it look like I have time to talk?

I forgive you, Myriam. Now go home.

‐What’s that? ‐Papers.

‐I’m divorcing you, Douglas. ‐What?

[Myriam] You heard me. I want a divorce.

Uh, Myriam,

so I wouldn’t let you sit in the bathtub.

For this you want a divorce?

[Myriam] I deserve something better.

[Douglas] What better?

Oh, how about someone who‐‐

who talks to me when they see me.

who smiles at me when he sees me in the morning,

who says please and thank you, and...

I love you...

just every now and then.

Well, what makes you think you deserve that? [chuckles]

‐It’s a joke, Myriam. ‐[chuckles]

Bye, Douglas.

Fine. Go. Good riddance.

Kenny, I haven’t got all day.

Let me see Mr. Voo.

‐Vue. ‐Whatever.

No flowers.

This place already looks like Martha Stewart

on a bad day.

Stress adds a little personality.

Excuse me?

Which do you like better?

You get out of my office. Now.

Ever dance naked for a room full of men, Jill?

Of course not. But I have.

I’m calling the sheriff.

And I can tell you from personal experience,

it’s humiliating.

Still, I learned something from it.

You don’t get it, do you?

I learned that I am capable of doing

whatever I needed to get what I want.

See, I didn’t grow up privileged like you.

I had to put myself through medical school.

And these breasts paid for four years of Georgetown,

and I am not ashamed to say it.

Yes, honey, you heard it here first.

You’re gonna wanna catch this next part.

After our conversation,

I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I bought the building.

What?

Negotiations were a bitch.

But this building has been in Jim Harvey’s family for 50 years.

Everybody has their price, Jill.

This is where I practice medicine,

I’ve been here for 13 years. I have a lease.

Which expires in six months.

Unfortunately it won’t be up for renewal.

I’m gonna need the space. It’s the best location in Rome.

Anyhow...

don’t let us get in your way.

[indistinct conversations]

Hey, Lacos. What’s a tornado and a marriage got in common?

At first, there’s a lot of blowing

and then you lose the house. [laughs]

And then you lose the house!

Bud, you’re very funny but I’m busy right now.

What’s this? This video valentines. What’s that?

‐It’s nothing, okay? ‐Whoa. Great idea.

You mean you check out the babes on videotape

and you don’t even have to talk to them?

‐You find anything good? ‐[Kenny sighs]

Nah.

I don’t know, who can tell from two minutes on the screen?

This one wants Arnold Schwarzenegger,

the other one wants a rich genius wine connoisseur.

All I know is no one’s looking for Kenny Lacos, that’s for sure.

They’re probably all lying anyway.

Whoa, buddy, if I’d known you were hard up,

my wife’s got a few single friends‐‐

Bud, I’m not hard up.

I’m just broadening my horizons, okay?

You say tomato, I say "tomahto."

So after that maniac left, I called Roger and I had him run the numbers.

‐She’s right. ‐Uh, who is?

Dr. Joey. Oh, God, I hate that name.

‐What is she right about? ‐I’m losing revenue.

I can’t afford the rent on a new office.

‐You want a bite of this? It’s really good. ‐No.

I know, I made it. You know me, Jimmy.

I don’t pay much attention to the dollars and the cents.

But according to Roger, at this rate, with all the patients leaving‐‐

Everybody at the brewery is going to the HMO.

I won’t be breaking even in a year.

And...and we can’t afford that, not with Kimberly planning on medical school.

and the boys going off to college...

‐Oh. ‐What?

Tonight is Matthew’s school dance.

Oh, honey, please just calm down.

It’s gonna be all right. You’ll find another office.

Jimmy, you’re not listening to me.

I can’t afford another office.

The Harveys haven’t raised the rent on me in 10 years.

[both sigh]

Maybe I should talk to the HMO.

Whatever you decide, I’m with you, you know that.

But... [sighs] ...I do think the kids miss you a bit.

Oh, I’m a terrible mother.

[Jimmy] No, you’re not.

Honey, you are a wonderful mother.

But you have been under the gun a little bit lately, and...

I think it’s making you very unhappy.

Now if... the HMO means less stress,

more time with the family, then what are we talking about?

People v. Vue.

Your Honor, this whole brouhaha

is the result of a simple misunderstanding

‐which I can‐‐ ‐Your Honor, kidnapping and attempted rape

is not a simple misunderstanding.

Anyone wanna make a plea here?

Not guilty.

Fine. Sit down.

Is there a question of bail?

‐Yes, Your Honor. ‐Shame on you.

My client has no record.

He’s practically indigent.

Where would he go? Back to Laos?

The charges are assault and battery,

kidnapping and attempted rape.

We’re talking about a possible 20‐to‐life sentence.

I think there’s plenty inducement

for the defendant to disappear.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, talk to me.

Your Honor, Mr. Vue

was only doing what any red‐blooded Hmong male is expected to do

when his heart is smitten by a lovely young lady.

Take her home,

meet the folks, get their blessings

and kill the chicken.

That’s a tradition.

The young girl is supposed to protest,

to‐‐to prove her virtue.

Now, how was he to know that she really meant it?

Your Honor, in some Middle Eastern countries,

if a man suspects his wife of infidelity,

he is allowed to chop off her hand.

Now, that may be tradition also, but we don’t allow it here.

Our culture views the tradition the defense speaks of as barbarism,

not marriage as we recognize it.

Your Honor, who is the judge here?

You or the prosecution?

I imagine you would have a problem

with the arranged marriages of my grandparents, too.

But they seemed to work out pretty well.

So who are we to say

that it was our way or the highway?

What does our culture promote when we really get down to it?

A union based on the unprovable principle called love.

Now, what is that anyway?

In truth, nothing more than an illusion.

Marriage is barbarism,

‐and we only have‐‐ ‐Save it for trial, Wambaugh.

I’ve heard enough.

I’m setting bail at $10,000.

[indistinct murmuring]

What that mean?

Go back to jail?

Temporarily, until we win this case.

And if we don’t?

Wambaugh does not lose.

That’s another tradition.

[indistinct conversations]

Matt, I got your costume, honey.

Matthew.

Jimmy. Anybody?

Oh.

Damn it.

Matthew.

Good night, Mom.

Honey, wait. Honey, can I talk to you?

[chuckles]

Nice costume.

Elvis, huh?

Vegas years.

I thought it was a disco dance.

I guess this is as close to disco as Dad gets.

Oh, Matthew, I’m sorry, honey.

Don’t worry about it, Mom.

Only a few hundred people made me feel like a total geek.

[sighs] Gina spent all night dancing with Greg Braxton.

[Jill] Mmm.

But I’ll get over it...

‐eventually. ‐Oh, Matthew,

I really wanted to help you, but Caroline Chankata went into labor.

It’s okay, Mom.

I’m used to it.

[slow music playing]

One of my main concerns is that my patients can follow me here.

‐We’d love to have them. ‐Oh.

That reminds me, salary and benefits package.

Yearly bonuses are determined by your productivity.

Now, that’s based on levels that are set

by our quality assurance and utilization review committee.

It’s very streamlined.

[chuckles] Catch this.

[beeps]

Hi, I’m Sonia Berma,

an OB‐GYN here at Omega Care.

I’ve been in practice for 10 years, and...

[HMO rep] The docs love these things.

Hey, it’s be great to have your video bio

right in there with everyone else’s, Jill.

Now, let’s talk about some of your other concerns.

Call schedule. All of our docs

work three to five days a week.

Calls, once,

every tenth day and every seventh weekend.

Period.

And don’t forget about our 24‐hour nurse hotline.

No more three a. m. calls about...

little Johnny’s earache.

Let’s see. What else?

Oh, yes. What about my Medicaid patients?

To be honest with you, Jill,

we find that Omega Care is so busy

providing the best care to our member patients,

that, well, we’re just not able to squeeze those patients in.

I’m sure that you understand our predicament.

Cappuccino?

And what if I want to squeeze them in?

My Medicaid patients.

Well, let me talk to the big guys and get back to you on that.

I imagine, uh, something could be worked out.

You see, we pride ourselves here

on being sensitive to the needs of both patients and doctors.

So, how’s it sound?

Oh, it... [chuckles, sighs]

It sounds great.

What’s up?

What’s going on, Kong?

[latch clicks]

I saw the way Mia looked at you in court.

What’s the story?

You know each other?

She work at Stan Doughnut.

I buy chocolate doughnut every day.

She smile to me.

I smile to her.

I think she like me.

I think she young, have many baby.

I want to marry her.

Let me get this straight.

I’m a little confused here.

Where you come from, you see a girl...

you like the girl...

you just take the girl home and that’s it?

Get out of here.

We call it lwm qaib.

My parent do it.

Their parent do it.

Everyone do it.

This is America, Kong.

In this country, if you want a woman,

you gotta put a little effort in,

take the lady out to dinner...

spend a little dough on her, tell her she’s beautiful,

even though she might not be that hot.

Then you try and make her think

that you’re one of those sensitive types, you know?

Say stuff like, uh...

"Did you see that beautiful sunrise? Wow."

You married?

No.

You have girlfriend?

No.

Maybe you’re right.

What the hell do I know?

[indistinct conversation]

Oh, this is it. It’s a two, no trump.

‐Oh, no, Myriam. ‐[door closes]

[Myriam gasps] What do you mean, no?

It’s two, no trump.

Myriam, it’s your husband.

Oh, God.

Myriam,

you’re lucky I’m speaking to you

after that stunt you pulled yesterday.

Douglas, please.

What?

You can’t divorce me. I refuse.

Douglas, what are you talking about?

You know as well as I do under Jewish law...

it is the man that has to agree to a gett,

and I don’t agree.

Can’t you see you make her miserable?

‐Shut up! ‐Oh, I can’t take this anymore.

Every day with you is like living in the middle of a circus,

and I am the trained bear.

Well, I don’t want it. I’ve had enough.

I want a real life while I’m still healthy enough to enjoy it.

[chuckles] Don’t make me laugh, Myriam.

I may be a character,

but I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.

Come over here.

Play, play.

Douglas...

you haven’t touched me since 1978.

And sometimes, a woman needs to feel wanted, attractive, something.

So if you won’t give me a gett,

I’m going to go to the beth din

and I’m going to tell them

that you have not fulfilled your husbandly duties.

It’s up to you.

Myriam, I will never, ever give you a gett.

You can be assured of that.

I’ll take one of those chocolate ones with the jimmies on them.

Forty‐five cents.

So...

how you been?

Look, I, uh...

I know this is none of my business, but...

I saw the way you looked at Kong the other day, and...

it occurred to me that maybe things have gone a little bit too far.

‐I not want to marry him! ‐I don’t blame you.

You hardly know the guy, and what he did was out of line, but...

I’ve been talking to the guy lately, and he seems pretty okay to me.

You’re right.

Mia, let me give you a hypothetical.

For instance,

let’s say none of these incidences had occurred

and Kong walked in tomorrow and said

he’d like to take you out for a cup of coffee, a cup of tea...

whatever.

What would you say? Would you go?

No.

Why not?

He not my type.

Okay. Fair enough.

Hey, why you care?

I don’t know why.

I guess I hate to see this dragged out in court,

especially if it doesn’t have to be.

More trouble for me, more trouble for you.

Sorry to bother you.

And I’d only have to be on call once every 10 days.

So I’m torn.

You should have seen that clinic, Jimmy. It was incredible.

Have you heard anything I’ve said?

Jimmy, I’m trying to get a little input here.

Uh... just getting to the end of the paragraph here.

What?

Never mind, never mind.

Oh, Jill.

Jill, Jill, Jill, I’m sorry.

I’m just saying the hours will be great,

the calls manageable,

and I wouldn’t have to worry

about keeping my own practice afloat.

‐Yeah? ‐So I wanna know what you think.

Well, I think it could be just the thing you need in the family to‐‐

Yes, but there are other things to consider besides our own comfort.

I mean, what about my indigent patients? What are they supposed to do?

Honey, there is a county health department.

Where they have to wait for hours

to see a doctor that they don’t even know.

‐You can’t take care of everyone. ‐Do you know that as Omega Care,

you can’t talk to your patients on the phone.

And there’s all this talk about productivity,

which really makes me nervous.

All right, fine then.

Don’t do it if you don’t think it’s the right thing.

But I don’t know if it’s the right thing or not, Jimmy.

That’s what I’m trying to talk to you about.

You’re not being very helpful.

You don’t really want to hear my opinion, Jill.

You just want to go on and on till you come up with the right answer.

‐[pager beeping] ‐Oh.

Damn it to hell.

Oh, I got to go.

‐Watch out for the... ‐[thud]

[Jill] Aah! Ow!

‐Oh. ‐...asparagus fern.

[woman speaking indistinctly on PA]

‐[Eva] Jill? ‐Eva.

Hit my head on a hanging plant.

I’m so tired I can’t even see straight.

‐Does Jimmy know? ‐He’s parking the car.

Oh, go in to curtain one. I’ll call the attending.

Oh, let me take this.

Thank you.

[grunts]

‐Why, it’s Jill Brock. ‐What are you doing here?

It’s you lucky night, honey. I’m the doc on duty.

‐What happened to you? ‐It’s no big deal.

Not so fast.

Let me clean it up a bit.

See what we got.

Four by fours, 1% lidocaine with.

Okay, I’m gonna numb you up a bit.

A little bee sting.

This is ridiculous. I‐I’m okay.

Jill, I’m the doctor, you’re the patient. Live with it.

Wait till you see the color I’m going to paint your exam room.

Clover suite.

Oh, you are the single most obnoxious woman I have ever met.

[chuckles] You obviously never met my mother,

Help me out here.

You have enough money to buy my practice, buy my building,

effectively ruin my life.

What are you doing moonlighting at midnight in the ER?

Well, keeping up my skills,

getting to know the local docs.

Not to mention the fact that every patient who comes through on my shift

gets a personal invitation for a follow‐up visit

with Dr. Joey Diamond at her new office.

You gotta work all the angles, Jill.

Oh, by the way, I’ve got news for you, I’m not rich.

Try leveraged to the gills.

Never was one to play it safe.

‐Eva, 3‐O Vicryl, 3‐O nylon. ‐What are you doing?

Well, you have penetrated the galea here, honey.

We’re gonna have to do a two‐layer closure,

so just put your feet up, lay back, relax.

You’re in good hands with Dr. Joey.

[woman speaking on PA]

All right, Mia, once we’re in court,

I’ll lead you through the incident step‐by‐step,

just like we did in here.

Don’t worry, I won’t throw any surprises at you, okay?

How long he go to jail for this?

Realistically it could be up to 20 years.

But you shouldn’t be thinking about that.

I want to talk to him.

I don’t think that’s a very good idea, Mia.

I want to talk to Kong.

[indistinct conversation]

Son of a bitch.

What makes you think I wanna marry you?

[speaking foreign language]

Speak English now. We in America.

I thought you like me.

You smile to me.

I smile at everyone. I sell more doughnut that way.

You don’t like me?

Not really.

I not want to marry anyone right now.

I want to go to college.

I not want anyone tell me what to do.

Look, I... I love our culture, the customs, the music.

But the lwm qaib stuff gotta go, you understand?

I understand nothing in this country.

Maybe you need watch more TV.

She’s a tough little bird. I know the type.

Well, I advised her against this. I don’t trust that guy.

He’s all right. He just didn’t understand the rules.

‐Who does? ‐[cell door opens and closes]

It’s okay now. I no need to testify in court.

He not do it again.

May I say what a delightful young woman this is.

The quality of mercy has not strained‐‐

Mia, consider what you’re saying.

Now, Kong kidnapped you.

He was going to force you to have sex with him.

I can’t just drop the charges.

Without a complaining witness,

you’re going down a long, hard road, my friend.

I sorry.

You right. He not such a bad guy.

See you around.

I’m sure that my client will be willing to accept probation.

Terms to be negotiated, of course.

Of course.

Well, you must be pretty proud of yourself.

‐Hmm? ‐[Max] Got that poor girl

to feel sorry for Kong.

All I did was try to get her to see he wasn’t such a bad guy.

What’s it to you anyway?

He practically drags her off by her hair,

and you try to fix them up on a date?

Hey, maybe they’d like each other.

If I can get two people together, why shouldn’t I?

Anyway, it’s their culture, Max. It’s different to ours.

It’s Neanderthal.

To you, maybe.

To me, in a strange way, it kind of makes sense.

I mean, look at the way we do it here.

All this wining and dining,

the way we lie about ourselves, where does it get us?

And look at you, Max.

You’re so smart.

And look at me.

We’re both alone.

I’m telling you, if I could just

reach out and grab what I want and take it home with me...

maybe I’d do it.

And maybe I’d be a lot happier.

And maybe you’d be in jail.

[yells]

Oh.

[groans]

What’s wrong, Mom?

[Jill] Oh, nothing, honey. Just the groceries.

No, you seem sad or something.

Oh, I’m not sad. I’m just tired.

I’ve been working really hard lately,

and it’s starting to get to me.

Why don’t you take a vacation?

Oh, I’d love to.

Who would take care of my patients?

Some other doctor.

Oh, all the doctors I know

joined this big group called Omega Healthcare.

So why don’t you join them?

Well, it’s not as simple as that. I...

I guess I like to be my own boss,

and I don’t like somebody telling me

how to practice medicine.

‐You know who you’re like, Mom? ‐Who?

The Outlaw Josey Wales.

You know, the Clint Eastwood movie.

I saw it over at Nicky Weiss’ house.

Zack, I don’t like you seeing all that violent stuff.

But, Mom, it’s so cool.

You see, it’s after the Civil War,

and the whole country has changed.

And everyone thinks that Josey should surrender.

But these guys from the north killed his family.

So Josey won’t surrender

even though all his friends do,

’cause Josey doesn’t trust the guys from the north.

And it turns out that Josey was right,

because the guys from the north end up killing all his friends,

and then they go after Josey.

Then what happened?

Well, Josey gangs up with this funny Indian guy

and, you know, a couple of other people,

and the bad guys chase him around the country.

Hmm. Does Josey ever give up?

Mom, it’s Clint Eastwood.

Finally, he goes into this big showdown

and does what a guy has to do.

Hmm. What’s that?

He gets mean.

Plumb mad‐dog mean.

[woman on TV chuckles] So there I was on the psychiatric ward,

half dead from an eating disorder,

out of my mind with PMS...

And I decided, maybe I just need to date more.

I’m looking for a guy who doesn’t have a criminal record.

[tape rewinding]

The last thing I want is a serious relationship.

I have no time for serious, okay?

I mean, whatever happened to just going out,

sharing a good Cabernet,

talking about James Joyce and getting naked?

That’s my idea of a perfect date.

The status is a bitch, girlfriend, but it’s all in the position.

Take a look at chapter 23.

My husband just loves you, Dr. Joey.

‐And I love him. What’s his name? ‐Willis.

Excuse me, I need to talk to you.

‐Jill, I’m selling books here. ‐It’s important.

‐So is selling books. ‐I’ve reconsidered your offer.

‐Thank you. ‐Mm‐hmm.

And?

I have a counter proposal.

Is there somewhere we can talk?

I think we should be partners.

‐[Dr. Joey] I don’t need a partner. ‐Yes, you do.

You may be a hell of a marketer, you may even be a good doctor,

but you’ve got one big problem.

‐[flushing] ‐Your patient retention rate is miserable.

You need me. I know how to treat my patients.

[Dr. Joey] You’re wrong, Jill.

I just need your patients.

If you took over my practice,

they’d be running for the door.

‐Oh, yeah? Yeah, I know these people.

And they expect to be treated

like more than numbers

on an accountant’s ledger.

I don’t think that you’re capable of that.

So you’ve got a great bedside manner. Whoopee.

Just means that you’re slower, you see fewer patients. That doesn’t do me any good.

Look, we both want to be independent.

We just want it for different reasons.

You want the money. I want my patients to be treated

the way I want them to be treated.

Much as it sickens me to say this, we need each other.

I’ve got the personal touch, you’ve got the marketing savvy.

‐And the TVQ. ‐Right.

Alone, we’re two women

battling a medical delivery system

that wants to make us both obsolete.

Together, we could be a force to be reckoned with.

So, here’s the deal.

Fifty‐fifty split. No cash out.

Fifty‐five, forty‐five. I’ll be seeing more patients.

Fifty‐fifty. Take it or leave it.

I don’t care what you do on your own time,

but there’s no smoking in my practice.

So...

I guess I’ll have to change the pencils.

Open up!

Open up, Selma. I know she’s in there.

Go home, Douglas. She doesn’t wanna see you.

I don’t wanna talk to you, you old stick.

Get my wife.

What?

Myriam, we can’t work out our problems

when there’s a door in between.

Well, who says I wanna work out our problems?

All right, Myriam, you win.

You want sex, I’ll give you sex.

Douglas, are you out of your mind?

Keep your pants on or I’ll call the police.

So call. Myriam...

if a little nooky won’t do the trick,

I’m going to resort to more serious measures.

Douglas, don’t you dare.

I’m going to sing, Myriam.

You’re forcing me to sing.

I’m gonna call the police.

Go ahead, call the police already. Go, go.

Douglas, it’s over. I am not going back to you.

♪ You make me feel so young ♪

♪ You make me feel There are songs to be sung ♪

♪ And bells to be rung ♪

♪ And a wonderful fling To be flung ♪

♪ And when I’m old and gray ♪

♪ I’ll be just like I am today ♪

♪ ’Cause you made me feel So young ♪

♪ Oh, Myriam, baby ♪

♪ You made me feel so young ♪

‐[indistinct conversation] ‐[music playing]

[Kenny] They ran out of popcorn.

[sighs]

So you like wine.

I like wine, too. I...

I gotta be honest with you.

I like beer better.

Me, too.

Hey, that Joyce guy you talked about in your video.

Yeah?

He write anything I would have heard of?

[sighs] Beats me.

Someone just told me to say that if I wanted to get a sensitive guy.

‐Yeah? ‐Yeah.

Well, it worked.

[Kenny] Cheers.

♪ Oh, how we danced ♪

♪ On the night we were wed ♪

♪ We vowed our true love ♪

♪ Though a word wasn’t said ♪

‐♪ The world was in bloom ♪ ‐Excuse me, folks. Doug.

♪ There were stars in the sky ♪

‐Doug. ‐ ♪ Except for the view ♪

♪ That were there In your eyes ♪

♪ Dear, as I held you So close to my... ♪

Don’t sing.

She had no right to do it, Jimmy.

She has not reason to complain.

I gave her a house over her head,

‐her own credit card. ‐[sighs]

A new winter coat every third year.

Doug, it’s a free country.

Now, if she doesn’t want to be with you right now,

she doesn’t have to.

Now, you’re creating a disturbance.

Please, let’s... let’s just call it a night, okay?

‐All right. Okay, okay. ‐All right.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

She loved this one.

♪ Oh, you beautiful doll ♪

♪ You great big Beautiful doll ♪

♪ Let me put My arms around you ♪

♪ I cannot live without you ♪

‐♪ Oh, you beautiful doll You great big beautiful doll ♪ ‐[Jimmy sighs]

Selma, evening. Myriam.

[Douglas singing]

We could have him arrested.

Is that what you want, Myriam?

‐No. ‐[Douglas continues singing]

Turn out the lights. Maybe he’ll go away.

♪ Oh, you beautiful doll ♪

‐Good night. ‐Good night.

♪ Let me put My arms around you ♪

♪ If you’d ever leave me How my heart would ache ♪

♪ I would love to hug you But I’d fear you’d break ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

All right, folks. Break it up.

♪ Oh, you beautiful doll ♪

♪ Oh, you beautiful doll ♪

♪ You great big Beautiful doll ♪

♪ Let me put my arms Around you ♪

♪ I cannot live without you ♪

Clint?

The Outlaw Josey Wales.

...that they might be able to dig a hole in and drop down,

maybe in the back bedroom.

You’re watching Clint Eastwood?

Shh. Wait a minute. This is my favorite part. Watch.

[Clint on TV] When things look bad,

and it looks like you’re not gonna make it,

then you gotta get mean.

I mean, plumb mad‐dog mean.

’Cause if you lose your head and you give up,

then you neither live nor win.

That’s the just the way it is.

♪ If I loved you ♪

♪ Time and again I would Try to say ♪

♪ All I want you to know ♪

♪ If I loved you ♪

♪ Time and again I would Try to say ♪

[slow music playing]

[Jimmy] Next on Picket Fences.

Long time no see, bro.

Jimmy, you know those three guys who broke out of Joliet?

Ripon Police just picked up one of them 20 minutes ago.

The think the other two are headed our way.

How long do you think it’s gonna take

for the cops to figure out that we’re brothers?

They’re gonna be here in a second. Wake up!

Just be cool, man.

I’m not going back inside.

I’ve got you and the little girl.

Look, if you want her, you’re gonna have to kill me first.

[theme music playing]