Original subtitles

‐[radio chatter] ‐[indistinct dialogue]

[man] Hold on.

[Jimmy] Hold it, Dave. Hold it. You okay?

I'm... I'm fine. Just get me out, please.

All right, they're gonna get you out, but just ease up,

‐because you're gonna make this truck roll. ‐Just get me out.

‐[Jimmy] We'll get you out. Ease back in.

‐We'll get you out. ‐[David] My leg is stuck.

‐[Jimmy] All right, Dave. Just take it easy. ‐Hold her on tow

and get a flatbed. Must've hit a patch of ice.

‐[thud] ‐Kenny, be careful.

‐You don't want it sliding on top of you. ‐I got it.

Kenny, don't stand back there.

If I don't steady it, it might slide.

‐[Max] Oh! ‐[Kenny screams]

‐Oh! Oh! What the hell? ‐[Kenny] Aah!

‐Get it off! ‐[Max] A dead cow?

‐[Kenny] Get it off! ‐[Max] I can't.

‐[Kenny groans] ‐What's he doing with a dead cow?

‐[Kenny] Come on! ‐What the hell is this all about? Dave?

‐[Max] Somebody do something. ‐Can you get it off?

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]

He still claims he was just taking it

to the other side of the property to bury it.

At night?

Why was its stomach cut open? And how did the cow die?

Well, I don't know, but what do you want to do, investigate a dead cow?

‐Alien DNA! ‐Beg your pardon.

They inject it into cows. It's going on at David Pastor's farm. I know it.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about cows being experimented on

with DNA from aliens.

‐[sighs] ‐[Carter] It happens. I think it happened here.

That's why David Pastor tried to bury that animal at night,

so people wouldn't find out.

‐DNA... from alien creatures. ‐Don't look at me like that. I'm not a nut.

The FBI's been all over Delta Glen for the last week.

They first thought the cows were being injected

with some bovine growth hormone.

‐Turns out it was something else. ‐[Max] What?

Well, I don't know what for sure.

But I play table hockey with Bernie Toes,

the Delta Glen coroner,

he told me there's talk of alien DNA.

There were two murders up there last week.

Plus, a mysterious plane crash with a doctor

who was injecting kids with some mysterious vitamin drug,

which turned some of them into teenage rapists.

What does this have to do with David Pastor's cows?

Last year I went out there on an emergency, okay?

Grant Savage was out of town. David knew I had done some vet work,

and he called me. It was very strange.

He had, like, this laboratory...

Remember Gene Lavanchy and the methane gas chamber?

Well, this facility made that look like a 4‐H project.

It was a mini‐hospital,

and they were very concerned about this cow.

More than milk produce was at stake, I could tell.

And there were technicians and they were very, very mysterious.

They didn't want me asking questions.

Why didn't you say something before?

I didn't know what to say.

But now it makes sense.

They're doing the same thing that this Dr. Larson

was doing over in Delta Glen.

Those cows are being injected with something.

Something is strange about that farm, Jimmy.

He's got a lot of high‐tech security.

I don't know what his produce is.

And David Pastor's been pretty flush.

How's he making all this money?

Call the FBI. Test that dead cow.

‐What? ‐[Jimmy] You know where it's buried?

I do. I helped them take it to the gravesite.

Dig it up.

‐[man] Almost got it now. ‐[machine whirring]

[radio chatter]

‐[man] That's good. ‐Never exhumed livestock before. This is excellent!

‐Boy, she's is a biggie. ‐[Kenny] This is crazy.

Just get it back to my office. I'll test it there.

This is big, Kenny. This is big.

‐[man] How we doin'? ‐Serious rigor mortis.

All right, nice and easy.

Set her down easy, no bruising.

‐[fax machine beeping] ‐[indistinct chatter]

[sighs] I'd promised myself I'd never come back to this town.

‐Agent Morrell. ‐Ah, bovine injections.

You called the FBI because the local farmer is giving his cow flu shots.

It's not flu shots. We've been informed

that some in Delta Glen have been injected with some kind of alien DNA.

‐You're mistaken. Oh! ‐Well, then what was the FBI doing in Delta Glen?

What about the teenage rapist and the plane crash

and the people in red frocks who won't eat meat?

I want answers!

You remember Carter Pike, our coroner?

Test turned up negative, but that cow had been dead more than a week.

I need a live sample.

What happened to the Delta Glen cows?

There was no finding of alien DNA

with any Delta Glen cow.

Well, Carter says that there's a mysterious laboratory

here in Rome where they're doing something.

David Pastor. He doesn't sell milk. He doesn't sell beef.

His cow's stay indoors most of the time, and there's a high‐tech lab.

I'm not just a medical examiner, I have investigative skills.

Tell him, Max. I should be deputized.

Well, there was the federal methane gas program which utilized cows.

[Carter] Gene Lavanchy. Cow flatulence.

Global warming. $19 million. Dancing Bandit. You let her get away.

Carter?

Are you aware of any other federal programs that could be a secret?

Some project that David Pastor could be involved with?

‐No. ‐[clears throat] Cover up.

‐Excuse me? ‐Go away.

[sighs]

Well, what was going on at Delta Glen?

That's an unsolved case and it doesn't involve you.

Now, where did you find the dead animal?

In the back of a truck with its stomach cut open.

I did some blood work but nothing.

I need to test a living cow.

That man is up to something and I can prove it.

Well, test one of his living cows.

We'd need a warrant. Can you get us a federal warrant?

Well, I could, but it would be much faster just to go to your local magistrate.

Are you out of your mind?

I just want to test one.

An unspecified inoculum was already found in the Delta Glen cows.

‐We just‐‐ ‐I think you should be tested.

Your Honor, the cows in Delta Glen

were in fact injected with some form of synthetic.

The FBI investigated.

Given Carter's description of Mr. Pastor's lab,

there's reason to suspect that something strange is going on there.

‐Aliens? ‐We're not saying that.

It's just...

he keeps his cows inside a place that looks like NASA.

We just wanna check it out.

[smacks tongue]

I'll give you a warrant to take one cow.

Ridiculous. [scoffs]

‐[chicken clucking] ‐[cows mooing]

‐[alarm beeping] ‐[dog barking]

See, what kind of cow farm has this kind of surveillance?

Let's just investigate, okay?

‐Jimmy? ‐David.

A warrant to search the premises and confiscate a cow.

‐What? ‐Could you take us to your barn?

You can't do this. This is an invasion of privacy.

That's why we have the warrant, David. Let's go, please.

[cows mooing]

[Kenny] Wow! You treat your cows right, Dave.

I'd like to know the point of this.

What do you do with these cows, Dave?

I breed them. They're my cows.

I can do whatever I want with them.

Look, what the hell are you people looking for?

[Jimmy sighs]

‐I don't know. ‐[Max] Jimmy?

Take a look.

[cow mooing]

‐Hello. ‐Who are you?

I work for Mr. Pastor.

‐Doing what? ‐I look after the cows.

I'm a veterinarian.

I know what he's up to. Let me interrogate. I'll break him, Jimmy.

Carter!

You have eight cows and one bed.

I can tend to my animals however I see fit.

I'm not breaking any laws.

‐[cows mooing] ‐Mm‐hmm.

‐Max, Kenny, take a cow. ‐Which one?

That one.

No, not that one. Uh, she's not feeling well.

She's had some, uh, some colic and, uh, she doesn't belong to me.

That's uh... Uh, take this one over here. Take Sandy.

No, we're taking that one.

This one is sick, Jimmy. Please. She's... she's a boarder, you can't.

We're taking that cow, Dave. Go.

What's her name?

‐Wanda. ‐Attagirl, Wanda. Come on, let's go.

‐[mooing] ‐That's it.

‐I think Ginny was an alien. ‐[Jimmy laughs]

She says she was abducted.

Honey, Ginny wasn't an alien, and please don't talk

about dead people at the table, okay?

I think Mayor Pugen was abducted.

I still don't believe he just blew up. Come on!

‐Please. ‐Is it legal to experiment on cows?

I mean, it's bad enough we have to slaughter them for meat,

but now we're experimenting on them, too.

[knock on door]

Mm. Excuse me.

[knock on door]

Rachel. Come on in.

I'm really sorry to intrude,

but, Jimmy, that was my cow you took.

‐[Jimmy] What? ‐[Rachel] Wanda.

What's this all about?

Rachel, there is some suspicion

that David Pastor has been injecting these cows with illegal drugs.

Now, we're just doing a quick blood test. It'll be done tomorrow.

‐And then I can have her back? ‐Yes.

Please don't delay. This animal is so important to me.

‐Okay. ‐[Rachel] Thank you.

‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Um...

I'm sorry I intruded.

Thank you.

It's good to see you.

[door closes]

[machine whirring]

Very interesting.

Very interesting!

Yes, it's riveting. Just give me the results.

Please don't abate me during an examination.

It compromises the work.

Well... has the cow been injected, uh, with a synthetic?

It's been injected with Progesterone.

‐[Max] What's that? ‐A hormone.

Her urine is also loaded with estrogen.

‐Which means what? ‐Which means this cow is pregnant.

I think they are breeding some kind of genetic mutant calf.

‐Oh, please. ‐Don't "oh, please" me. I did two years of veterinary school.

I went into this animal's genitalia.

And I'll tell you something else, big boy.

This cow is a virgin.

‐What? ‐[Carter] You heard me.

‐Then how did she get pregnant? ‐My point exactly.

[cow mooing]

It's in vitro. That's how all cattle are bred these days.

Is this true?

‐Actually, yes. ‐Yes.

It's unusual for one person, a non‐cattle rancher, to breed this way,

especially with a Holstein. What are you up to?

It's an embryo transplant.

She may be a Holstein, but she's carrying an Angus.

I beg your pardon.

Well, this is how champion cattle are bred.

You take the eggs and the sperm from the prize animals

and you implant them into the cheap cows.

‐Why? ‐So you don't put the expensive ones at risk

with the pregnancy. It's done that way all the time in Australia.

Then why are you being so secret about it?

Well, you're the ones that are making the big deal here, not me.

[smacks tongue] Give her the cow.

I have more tests.

Give her the cow.

This is unbelievable.

Thank you.

‐[door closes] ‐Come on, Wanda.

Come on, sweetie, back to the barn.

[cow mooing]

That's my girl. Come on.

[chuckles]

So I guess this is all innocent?

It isn't innocent.

I asked to borrow some of his cows for the pageant,

you know, Ambient, and he wouldn't give me one.

The man raises cattle, and he won't give me one cow for Christmas, the pig.

He's not just a vet.

‐Who? ‐This Dr. Marin.

He's also a molecular biologist,

trained in genetic engineering. I checked him out.

But why would he be working for David Pastor?

On Rachel's cow?

Maybe they are breeding some kind of altered calves.

[Morrell] Oh, that's ridiculous.

Carter called from the morgue. It's something big.

‐Back to the morgue? He's a nut. ‐Come on.

He's probably gonna tell us the cow's a lesbian.

[Carter] Oh, great. Jimmy, I went back into this dead beast,

and this cow is pregnant, too.

And get this, that stomach wound, that was a C‐section.

This animal died during an emergency C‐section.

What the hell's going on?

[Carter] Where is the calf?

We were in the barn. This cow gave birth. Where is the calf?

He's gotta be hiding something, Jimmy. He told us she died of colic.

[Carter] Maybe a cow with two udders to boost milk production,

or five legs for that extra slice of beef,

but they... they're doing something strange.

Let's get out there.

‐[indistinct dialogue] ‐I should be deputized...

‐You should wait in the car. ‐Hey, I broke this case, big boy. Don't insult me.

‐[speaking indistinctly] ‐You're a coroner,

‐you should wait in the car till somebody's dead. ‐Quiet! Quiet, please!

‐What are you people doing here? ‐We board animals here. We heard there was trouble.

Just stay here, please. Let's go.

[radio chatter]

It's all right. It's all right, Wanda.

[Jimmy] Freeze!

‐All right, freeze! ‐[Max] Freeze!

Please get out, she's in labor.

‐As soon as she delivers‐‐ ‐Place these men under arrest.

‐Jimmy, please, I beg you‐‐ ‐Hands behind your back!

‐[Max] Surround the barn. ‐She can't be in labor.

‐She wasn't in full term. ‐You induced it.

‐[David] She's miscarrying... ‐Please let him speak.

...probably because of all the stress

that you people brought on!

‐Please leave the room. ‐I'm not leaving the room.

‐Jimmy! ‐[Jimmy] I'm staying.

We got trouble, there could be a breach.

‐What? ‐Give me the forceps.

I need an extra pair of hands here.

‐I can do this. ‐Carter!

I'm not just a medical examiner.

I can deliver cows.

I'm gonna be sick.

[David] Jimmy, please get out.

I'm staying. You're under arrest.

‐You understand that, David? ‐[Marin] Just hold the head.

‐It's coming. ‐What the hell?

‐Just hold the head. ‐Get ready. Be careful.

‐[Marin] Here it comes. ‐What the hell

‐are you people doing? ‐Just hold the damn head!

‐[Rachel] Be careful. ‐[cow mooing]

‐[Carter] Here it comes, here it comes. ‐[Marin] It's all right, Wanda.

‐Here it comes. Oh! Here it comes. ‐It's all right, Wanda.

‐Here it comes. ‐[Carter] Oh, my God!

‐Oh, my God. ‐[cow groaning]

[baby crying]

Oh, my God!

[Marin] It's a boy. You've got a beautiful son.

I've got a son.

Clamp, clamp, clamp.

[Rachel exclaims]

[people exclaiming]

[Carter] It's a boy.

Aah. Yeah. Clamp.

[baby crying]

[cow mooing]

‐Human? ‐[Max] Yes, human. It came out of a cow.

‐You say it's human? ‐[Max] Yes, a boy, a little boy.

You saw it come out of the cow?

[Max] Yes, I saw it come out of the cow.

Okay, okay, wait, Max, wait,

slow down. Slow down.

Now, did, um, anybody else see this?

‐[Max] Yes, what do you think‐‐ ‐Okay, okay.

‐Uh... ‐[Max] Now, what do you want me to do?

Place them under arrest, I guess.

[Max] For what? What can I place them under arrest for?

Well, there's gotta be a law against it.

[Max] Why would there be a law...

[sighs] I think...

‐[man speaking indistinctly] ‐[cow mooing]

All right, take the baby to Jill's for a checkup.

‐Read them their rights. ‐For what?

‐For what? For what? ‐[cow mooing]

You got human beings coming out of cows here.

‐Jimmy! ‐No! No!

No. No. No, no, no. I am the sheriff.

I will not... I will not have barnyard animals delivering humans.

I will not stand for it.

Carter, baby goes to Jill's, everybody else... jail.

[baby cooing]

No. No!

[cow mooing]

‐[Jimmy] No! ‐[baby cooing]

[bell tolls]

[indistinct dialog]

Very good boy.

What?

Tell me.

He's fine. He's...

He's a perfectly...

human boy.

How can this be?

Well, they... They've been predicting this. They...

They said that animals could be used for gestation.

They've been saying...

My OBGYN friend Dr. Christie, in Winslow,

she says,

that every time she picks up a newspaper,

she expects to see that this has happened.

‐[phone ringing] ‐And now it has.

Are you telling me that a cow...

a cow...

can carry and deliver a human child?

Yes.

You saw it, Jimmy.

It's happened.

I have a problem with my uterus so I can't bear children.

So you... you chose a cow as a surrogate?

A cow is better than a human surrogate.

Uh... how do you figure that?

Well, first of all, it's cleaner legally.

I own the cow.

So I don't have to go through what Carter went through

with a surrogate changing her mind.

And medically, it's safer.

Um, I control the diet, the environment.

There's no second‐hand smoke or alcohol or‐‐

Excuse me just one second.

Are you a nut?

[scoffs]

Believe it or not,

this is the future of fertility clinics.

It's not Rome's future.

There's gotta be a law.

[Bailiff] Case number 32111,

People vs. Pastor, Marin, and Harris.

Douglas Wambaugh for the defendants.

And may I say, this is the best one yet.

Oh, really?

What have we got now?

Your Honor, the defendants have been operating

in unlicensed and unlawful fertility and maternity clinic

using cattle to gestate and deliver human children.

‐[people murmuring] ‐[woman] What?

I beg your pardon.

I don't think I heard correctly.

You heard right, Judge.

The cow gave birth to a baby boy.

Udder and son are doing fine.

The breastfeeding possibilities are endless.

[Judge Bone] A cow?

A human child was carried to term by a cow?

This is not a crime,

to bring a child into being from a bovine womb.

There is no law against this, especially in Wisconsin.

To secure donor eggs and donor sperm for research,

this is also completely legal.

Research labs all over the country

are experimenting on embryos.

Your Honor, these people are operating a baby factory.

Now, that is certainly illegal.

Rachel Harris just had a son from one of his cows.

And he's darling.

It's outrageous. This is gross experimenting.

‐I demand that‐‐ ‐You stay out of this.

‐This is not for you. ‐I want this facility

‐shut down at once. ‐Shut up.

[people murmuring]

A baby...

from a cow.

He's cute, judge, got a little dimple.

I want this farm shut down.

‐I want charges brought‐‐ ‐For what?

[Judge Bone] All right.

Before I do anything, I want to conduct an evidentiary hearing

to find out exactly how this works.

Then, I might quit.

‐We're adjourned till two o'clock. ‐[bangs gavel]

A cow!

‐A cow, hmm. ‐[people murmuring]

[Rachel sighs]

‐[exclaims] ‐[baby coos]

He checks out. You certainly have a healthy son.

[both chuckle]

‐Thank you. ‐[chuckles]

Ah!

‐Could I ask‐‐ ‐I can.

Who's the father?

I don't know.

I went through a sperm bank, wrote the check.

I don't know.

But... do you think he looks a little like me?

[Jill] Rachel, if we weren't such good friends,

I wouldn't be so blunt,

but I just have to know.

Why this way?

[baby cooing]

Menopause isn't far away, Jill, and I only have so many eggs left,

and I wanted another child.

Carter, you should go this route next time.

No, no. It's not for me.

Aside from the ethical concerns I have and I do have them,

my child...

his father is gonna be Carter Pike,

that's cause enough for schoolyard taunts.

Imagine my telling him his mother's a cow.

I'm this child's mother.

Oh, I know.

[stutters] Oh, you know what I mean.

Well, all I can say is that

I've only held this little guy five minutes tops so far,

‐and it's already worth it. ‐[chuckles softly]

Has he been changed recently?

Ten minutes ago, he peed on me.

You are gonna be something. [chuckles]

[baby cooing]

‐Goodbye, honey. Mwah. Bye. ‐Bye.

[sighs]

Is it true, he came from a cow?

Yes.

Matthew and Zach, they come to me about sex questions

and religion and virgin birth stuff,

what am I supposed to say about this?

Um...

I'll talk to them.

What are you gonna tell them?

I'll speak to the boys, Kimberly.

Okay, then what are you gonna tell me?

They say in ten years or so, women wanna have babies

but they don't wanna stop working,

they can just do it this way:

transfer the embryos into a cow.

Is that really possible?

[sighs]

Medically, yes.

Where is it gonna stop?

I don't know.

I... I can't represent the cows.

It would be a conflict of interest.

I thought one of the main Jewish rules was "be kind to animals."

This is true.

Well, this can't be kind.

Don't the Jews care about cows?

Well, we don't take them as seriously as the Hindus,

but we do care.

The thing is, Zack,

the human race,

we eat hamburgers, we wear leather shoes to look nice,

we conduct animal experiments to cure fatal diseases.

Now, this is all very good for people,

but not so good for the cow.

And today, it is still the main rule.

People come first.

Let's start with the pregnancy.

How was this accomplished?

Well, um, it's surprisingly simple.

Uh, we harvest the female eggs, fertilize 'em,

then observe them microscopically

until they reach the blastula or the morula stage.

What does that mean?

Basically, that means that they become multi‐cellular.

And we bring a rabbit into estrus usually with a hormonal injection.

And once the cow goes into heat,

we take the fertilized embryo out of the rabbit

and implant it into the cow.

‐How do you do that? ‐That's also very simple.

We inject the fertilized embryo into the cervix.

And the animal carries the child to full term.

That's correct.

How can a cow be compatible?

The cow is given hormone tablets. Progesterone

And what about the blood supply?

The baby can live off the cow's blood?

No, the embyo's implanted with its own placenta.

That means that the fetus can make its own blood.

Uh, the blood systems are completely separate.

The only thing the fetus needs from the cow are the amino acids,

protein and sugar,

which it gets.

‐How? ‐Well, the nutrition

is passed through the placenta to the fetus,

with the umbilical cord.

There is no crime here, Judge.

You Honor, the crime is these people are unlicensed.

He is not a doctor. This is a medical perversity.

There is nothing perverse about childbirth.

Mr. Littleton, what charges are you bringing?

Operating an unlicensed facility is only‐‐

Your Honor, I'm not really interested

in bringing any criminal sanctions against them.

I'm speaking as an officer of the court.

And as a matter of public policy, I'm asking you to shut this facility down.

‐Granted. ‐Thank you, Your Honor.

Just like that. No big speech first.

[Judge Bone] Here's my speech.

I happen to know

that the National Institute of Health

has passed guidelines on research with human embryos.

They have held it unacceptable

for human embryos to be transferred to animals for gestation.

I agree with that ruling,

and I hereby shut this little baby farm down.

Well, we're not done yet, Judge.

Things are never so simple, not in Rome, Wisconsin.

What now?

Seated behind me are six couples,

I could introduce them later. You could read my brief.

They're all listed.

Why do I care?

These couples also have cows impregnated

with their children at Pastor Farm.

If you shut down that facility,

‐you jeopardize‐‐ ‐Oh, no!

How pregnant are these animals?

Well, uh...

‐Only a few weeks but‐‐ ‐Your Honor,

also in keeping with public policy,

I'd request that these pregnancies be terminated.

‐What? ‐They're in their first trimester,

‐the state has an interest‐‐ ‐Now, wait a second!

‐Henry! ‐I'll be brief.

I'm all for stopping what's going on over there,

but when you start talking about aborting human life‐‐

‐This doesn't concern you. ‐Roe v. Wade.

[all three talking over each other]

‐I have‐‐ ‐Quiet!

Dear God in Heaven!

You will not fertilize any more embryos.

As to the already pregnant cows,

I'll hear arguments.

Tomorrow. Ten o'clock.

Then I really am quitting!

[bangs gavel]

[children singing Christmas carol]

Keeps singing, kids.

You're doing fine. Pay no attention.

[indistinct chatter]

What's going on?

That's going on.

It's a sacrilege.

Baby Jesus under the virgin cow.

I'm thinking this is just the beginning.

Whole towns are gonna become a circus because of this perversity.

How could this have happened?

This is science, Henry. Try to look at it as...

[children singing Christmas carol]

...medical progress.

[children singing Christmas carol]

[Rachel] Hi.

Rachel?

You're working late.

Yeah, well, it's kind of hard to find case law in this one.

You find this whole thing pretty perverse, don't you?

Yes, I do.

[smacks tongue] I...

You know, with due respect to your position,

I'd like you to consider these other parents.

I have, Rachel.

Their children are living inside those animals.

My life, uh, it's just been changed forever.

And, well, sometimes with...

Well, amidst all the politics and the law,

the simplest truths are overlooked.

[Littleton] Here's a simple truth.

My wife and I couldn't conceive.

It was our third attempt at in vitro that Diana finally got pregnant.

I mean, I only have Cara because of science and technology,

and I promise you, my daughter is my life.

Without her, I'm... I'm... I'm 100% nothing.

So science has changed my life forever, too.

This position I'm taking, it's...

It's not because I don't understand.

Mom said she'd speak to you.

I don't want the parents' version.

I need the truth.

So do I.

[sighs] Okay, what?

Maybe Jesus wasn't a virgin birth.

He could have been a test tube baby.

They didn't have test tube babies then.

[Matthew] What?

They had divine miracles but no test tubes?

Christianity could be a big fraud.

Mary could have been a freak with weird DNA.

I really don't think that was it, Zack.

And the Jews,

they say to be nice to animals,

but Mr. Wambaugh doesn't care about cows.

I was thinking about becoming a Muslim,

but Matthew says I have to climb a mountain first.

Why do you ever believe anything he says?

Just tell me.

Whose god should I believe in?

[sighs]

None.

What?

Look, you came to me for the truth so I'm gonna give it to you.

I don't think there is a God.

You don't?

No.

Why do we have Christmas?

[sighs]

I think God...

I think He's a man‐made thing to give us all hope,

so that when bad things happen,

we can look to something that we can't see,

and pretend like everything's gonna be okay.

That isn't true, Kimberly.

Of course there is a God.

Prove it.

Could I see you in my room for a minute, please?

She can't prove it.

[dog barking in distance]

[sighs]

How can you tell your brothers there is no God?

They asked me my opinion so I told them.

Well, first of all, I don't know where this is coming from.

And second of all, Kimberly, I would appreciate it

if you would not tell your brothers.

Mathhew's 13, Zack is ten.

They're impressionable children.

Yes, they are impressionable. A cow just gave birth to a human.

That makes an impression. Why haven't you talked to them?

‐I will. ‐When?

Well... soon.

[scoffs]

You don't know what to say, do you? You're stuck.

I'm not stuck. I'm... I'm just...

A cow delivers a baby boy and you have no idea

as to how to make any religious sense of it.

Well, that doesn't mean that you should start declaring there's no God.

You don't think I wanna believe? Are you crazy?

I had a friend who was murdered by her own mother.

I can't turn on the news without seeing...

You don't think I wanna believe that there's somebody up there

in charge of the happy endings?

But how can I, Mom?

There isn't a god. There couldn't be.

[reporter on TV] And this beats all. In Rome, Wisconsin...

Where else? ...a cow has given birth to a human baby boy.

John Kenneth Harris weighed in at eight pounds, four ounces

after being delivered naturally by a full‐bread Holstein four‐year old.

They should do a documentary about this town.

Who would believe it?

You okay, honey?

Why wouldn't I be?

[door shuts]

Medical technology is a wonderful thing.

Through gene therapy, we're discovering cures to once fatal diseases every day.

We've found the gene for cystic fibrosis, breast cancer.

A fetal tissue transplant saved Bill McGrath from Parkinson's disease.

But there have to be boundaries, Your Honor.

Now...

I don't know where the line is but...

using a cow's uterus to carry a human child to term,

that has to be on the other side of it.

There's a difference between using medical technology to save life,

and using science to artificially manufacture it.

Why? What's the difference?

I hear what you're saying, Counsel,

but we use technology to save lives?

We use animal parts and valves to replace human ones.

Is it really such a stretch

to use technology and animal parts

to gestate human life.

It isn't natural.

Is it for any of us to say what's natural.

I have seen you with your daughter, Mr. Littleton.

The way your face lights up,

I know you look at her and experience, well,

maybe a miracle.

I see the same look in Rachel Harris.

Those couples right there,

they want to know that feeling.

Are we to deny them that

because it isn't natural?

[Littleton] But where does it stop?

Today it's "hatch‐a‐baby,"

and we're already manipulating genes to choose sex.

We have the technology to split embryos to make twins.

The day is coming where we will be able to manipulate genes

to have custom‐designed children.

That day isn't here, Mr. Littleton.

The question is only whether the pregnancies

of these six cows should be terminated?

The question is,

how far should science interfere in human pregnancies?

Before we're approaching eugenics,

and don't tell me that day isn't here.

Last year China announced a program

of forced sterilizations and mandatory abortions

to avoid births of inferior quality children,

all this in an effort to heighten the standards of the country.

This isn't China.

No, this is Rome.

And we have to decide today what limits are acceptable here in Rome, Wisconsin.

My God, we're taking the simplest and most miraculous equation:

the miracle of life.

And we're using test tubes and animals to...

What are we doing?

Last night some pranksters put the Baby Jesus doll under a fake cow.

Look at this room...

filled with cameramen and reporters and...

All of these people are waiting to see

if Rome, Wisconsin, will allow cattle

to bear its children.

It isn't natural.

This is not a case about the abuse of genetic testing.

It's not a case about cows.

Today, it's just a case about human beings.

Mr. Littleton talks of nature's greatest miracle: life.

I agree.

Life lives in those six cows.

Now, we're not trying to manipulate the genes

to give them blue eyes or white skin or long legs.

Maybe that abuse will come to be one day,

in which case, I hope,

you'll put a stop to it.

But what he's asking you to put a stop to today

is human life.

Indulge me just a second, Judge.

I have a little stunt.

I just want you to peek at this rascal.

Life.

He is here because of technology.

His name is John Kenneth Harris.

If he smiles,

you'll see the dimple.

‐[chuckles] ‐[baby coos]

Such a horrible thing science can be,

just awful.

‐[people murmuring] ‐[chair creaks]

[indistinct chatter]

[sighs] Hi.

Hi.

‐So, the Judge is deliberating, huh? ‐Yep.

Honey, I...

didn't mean to yell at you last night.

I know.

I'm curious.

Why has this cow business been so upsetting to you?

I don't know.

[Jill] I think you do.

What does it have to do with believing in God?

[sighs] It's just...

there are no miracles in life.

Everything is explained by science.

What were are, it's our genes.

Everything is on a DNA barcode.

[shrugs] You don't really believe that.

Mom, we can manipulate genes to eradicate diseases.

We have cows carrying human fetuses.

This may all seem like progress but it just goes to show

that man and science are in control,

not God.

Well, unless God intended for man to manipulate science.

Yeah, but you have to admit, with every new discovery,

every fossil, every new gene,

it all goes to scientific theory.

There's no wonder anymore.

There's no room for it.

God is being factored out of the equation.

This cow business...

it doesn't scare you?

[sighs]

It terrifies me.

[people clamoring]

[Bailiff] Be seated.

[Judge Bone] Just once, I'd like to decide a nuisance case

brought by a farmer

over a neighbor's oversized grain silo.

Instead, I get genetics,

and embryo transplants,

and a D. A.

who implores me to step in before Rome becomes China.

Here comes the big speech.

What did you say, Counsel?

I was just telling my clients I'm a character.

I see.

Well, it's time for me to talk to your clients.

I'm not going to get into genetics

and the miracle of life,

and the potential horror

of gene manipulation.

Instead, I'm gonna make this real simple.

Roe v. Wade

balances the state and Christian life

versus the rights of the woman to control her body.

In this case, we have no women.

Just cows.

And the Supreme Court gives no protection to the cow.

The state interest in life is therefore uncontested.

‐So, there will be no abortions. ‐[expectant parents exclaim]

‐First trimester or otherwise. ‐[people murmuring]

There will be no more embryo transplants.

But these six pregnancies will not be terminated.

My hope is,

that government does step in

and monitor this speeding train of gene therapy

and fertility technology.

If not for our sakes...

then for the cows.

Food chains or not,

they certainly don't deserve this.

‐Adjourned. ‐[bangs gavel]

‐[people murmuring] ‐[exclaims, chuckles]

Your Honor...

[door closes]

I'm sorry to bother you but...

do you believe in God?

I've been a little confused lately.

Where I do or not is totally irrelevant as to whether you do.

I know but you seem to have insights.

I'm a judge, young lady.

That means in this room,

I neither do nor say anything to establish religion.

It's in my rule book.

In this room. So, if I ran into you in some other room?

There's a big one you can find me in every Sunday.

Now,

even though you're not technically a lawyer,

I'd like to say something I say to other attorneys

‐in these chambers. ‐What?

Get out.

Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

[door closes]

♪ Away in a manger No crib for His bed ♪

♪ The little Lord Jesus Lay down His sweet head ♪

♪ The stars in the Heavens Look down where He lay ♪

♪ The little Lord Jesus Asleep on the hay ♪

♪ The cattle are lowing The poor Baby wakes ♪

♪ But little Lord Jesus No crying He makes ♪

♪ I love Thee, Lord Jesus Look down from the sky ♪

♪ And stay by my cradle 'Til morning is nigh... ♪

[baby coos]

♪ Be near me, Lord Jesus I ask Thee to stay ♪

♪ Close by me forever And love me, I pray ♪

♪ Bless all the dear children In Thy tender care ♪

‐♪ And take us to Heaven To live with Thee there ♪ ‐[bell tolls]

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]