All language subtitles for Home Improvement - 07x11 - Bright Christmas.DVD-Rip SAiNTS.English.edit.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:05,231 This will be my most exciting lighting display ever. 2 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:09,274 The guys at the power plant will be working overtime for this bad boy, huh? 3 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:12,709 You might want to read this flyer. I found it in the mailbox. 4 00:00:12,812 --> 00:00:15,303 It's from the lighting contest committee. 5 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:19,181 "Because certain rooftop displays have exceeded the bounds 6 00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:22,551 of prudent energy consumption and good taste, 7 00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:25,955 this year's lighting contest will be strictly regulated." 8 00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:29,054 They're pulling the plug on you, Dad. 9 00:00:29,129 --> 00:00:31,393 What makes you think this has to do with me? 10 00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:35,924 It says right here, "To be referred to, henceforth, as the Tim Taylor clause". 11 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:42,037 This is bunk. This is bunk. Come on! 12 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:44,668 "Electricity is limited to two 20-amp breakers." 13 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,338 Who can work with that? "No bulbs over 25 watts." 14 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:48,642 Ha, ha! 15 00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,677 "Maximum height of elves, three feet." 16 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:53,844 What kind of elf is three foot tall? 17 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,113 This one's gonna kill you. 18 00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:01,149 "Nativity scenes may include only characters mentioned in the Bible." 19 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,189 Which means no more Three Stooges. 20 00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:09,230 Those were the Three Wise Men. 21 00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:12,429 Really? Then why were they poking each other in the eye? 22 00:01:12,505 --> 00:01:15,167 To break up the trip. 23 00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,660 What is that smell? 24 00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:15,860 I'm making us a special Christmas cake. 25 00:02:15,935 --> 00:02:19,598 It's really cool. It's got pineapple and mangoes and papaya. 26 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,175 It's a fruitcake. Everybody hates fruitcake. 27 00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:27,407 I know that. This is not a fruitcake. This is a Christmas cake with fruit. 28 00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:32,609 "Cake with fruit." Reverse that. 29 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:35,279 - "Fruitcake." - Don't take it out on me 30 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:39,121 just 'cause the neighborhood put the kibosh on your lighting display. 31 00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:43,457 You say "ki-bosh," I say "pish-tosh". 32 00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,695 - I got Wilson to be my partner. - To help you do the roof? 33 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,291 No, no. He's gonna give me two 20-amp circuits. 34 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:53,737 He's not decorating his roof. I get his allotment of electricity. 35 00:02:53,806 --> 00:02:54,966 I get more wattage. 36 00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:58,477 It means I can make elves the size of Shaquille O'Neal. 37 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:03,281 I can't believe Wilson would go along with this after reading that flyer. 38 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,714 I'm not sure he read it. 39 00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:10,313 - Where are the boys? I need help. - Picking up Mom from the airport. 40 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:15,259 Listen, um... when she gets here I want you to be extra nice to her. 41 00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:18,297 Oh. Now you tell me. I just short-sheeted her bed. 42 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:23,796 No. You know, I want this to be a really great holiday for her. 43 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,636 It's the first one since Dad died, and she's bound to be depressed. 44 00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:31,506 If anything will lift her spirits, it will be the new lighting display. 45 00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,943 Guess who's bearing frankincense this year? 46 00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:41,578 Come here. I want you to see this. 47 00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:42,814 Look. 48 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:44,982 - Wow. - Yeah. 49 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,026 It's your mom and dad at their wedding. 50 00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:50,289 I found it in her house after the funeral, so I had it restored. 51 00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:52,388 I'm gonna give it to her for Christmas. 52 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:54,330 They did a nice job restoring this. 53 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,767 They were able to airbrush a smile over your dad's scowl. 54 00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,838 No, that's a real smile. 55 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,204 You said he never smiled at their wedding. 56 00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,368 No, he never smiled at our wedding. 57 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:12,177 - Oh, Tim! Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas, Lillian. How are you? 58 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,152 - It's good to see you. - Hi, Mom. 59 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:16,051 - Hello, baby. - Can I take your coat? 60 00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:19,421 - It's so good to see you. - Merry Christmas. I love your hair. 61 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,323 - You look gorgeous. - It's so cute. 62 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:24,158 How was the trip back with Brad from the airport? 63 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:27,165 It was a lot less scary than when I ride with Tim. 64 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,662 I never knew Detroit had stop signs. 65 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,838 Roundish red things. Yeah, I've seen them. 66 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:40,810 Oh, Jill, the tree looks beautiful. 67 00:04:40,913 --> 00:04:42,437 Yes, it does, doesn't it? 68 00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:45,882 Well, except for this spark plug here. 69 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:52,751 That's right. Every year Tim sneaks auto parts onto the tree. 70 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,959 And on Easter we have a muffler hunt. 71 00:04:57,830 --> 00:05:01,891 Mom, there's a present that I want you to open while we're alone. 72 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,334 Oh, no, no. It's not Christmas yet. 73 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,269 No, this one's kind of personal. 74 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:09,866 I want you to open it while there's not a lot of other people around. 75 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:14,106 Speaking of having other people around, there's something I need to ask you. 76 00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:18,480 Would you mind if I invited a friend to join us for Christmas? 77 00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:21,111 - Oh, a friend! - He's really very nice. 78 00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:23,413 He. 79 00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:26,788 His name is Parker and he's an engineer. 80 00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:31,085 He's going to be visiting people in Detroit during the holidays. 81 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,927 Is... Uh... Mom? 82 00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:36,524 What are you saying? You're seeing someone? Like dating? 83 00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:39,162 I guess that's what you would call it. 84 00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,968 We've been going out together for a couple of months. 85 00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:43,599 I really like him. 86 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:47,973 - Would it be all right if he joined us? - Sure. It's fine, it's great. 87 00:05:48,047 --> 00:05:50,811 Whatever's gonna make your Christmas good for you. 88 00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:54,319 I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I was nervous to tell you. 89 00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:57,515 Oh! Well, now you've told me and now I know. 90 00:05:57,590 --> 00:06:00,320 So, there's nothing for anybody to be nervous about. 91 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:02,122 Let me show you his picture. 92 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,494 I brought a picture along with me for you to see. 93 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:07,629 Here it is. 94 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:13,630 He has a duck tail and you're wearing a poodle skirt. 95 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:16,470 Yes, it... it was Fifties Night 96 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:19,033 at Karaoke Pete's Tandoori Kitchen. 97 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,374 Oh! 98 00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:24,007 Parker does a mean Blue Suede Shoes. 99 00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,176 Yeah, I... I see he's wearing some. 100 00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:28,886 He's... He's just a wild man. 101 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,021 Now, how about that Christmas present? 102 00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:38,758 Oh. You know, now that I look at this, this isn't the right one. 103 00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:41,493 I'm gonna have to look for it and give it to you later. 104 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:45,401 All right. I'm going to call Parker and tell him that he's invited. 105 00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:48,406 - I can't wait for you to meet him. - Me, too. 106 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,205 Look at this. 107 00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,109 A Partridge in a pear tree. 108 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:05,848 Tim. 109 00:07:09,128 --> 00:07:11,494 Mom just told me that she's... 110 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,929 ...bringing a date for Christmas. 111 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,763 Why doesn't she bring a whole box? 112 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:18,099 You can put them in your "Christmas cake." 113 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,934 No. Come here. 114 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:23,772 His name is Parker. She's been seeing him for a couple of months. 115 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,333 Wow. 116 00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:28,278 That's, uh, kind of soon. I mean... 117 00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:31,783 - How do you feel about that? - Well, I was in shock. 118 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:35,287 I mean, I'm starting to give her this photo of her and Dad, 119 00:07:35,354 --> 00:07:37,822 then she starts talking about this other man. 120 00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:41,417 I didn't feel I could give it to her. Do you think I'm overreacting? 121 00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,792 No. I think you're taking this very well. 122 00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:47,890 My mom waited 30 years to start dating and I still think it's too soon. 123 00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:52,100 It's obviously a little awkward for me, but it's not about me. 124 00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:56,073 So I'm gonna be supportive and when Parker gets here we'll be hospitable. 125 00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:59,168 It'll be easier for me. He's not shacking up with my mom. 126 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,443 Whatever I can do to help. 127 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,619 See, Parker, here's my problem. 128 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:16,025 Even with... Even with Wilsors allotment of electricity, 129 00:08:16,095 --> 00:08:19,326 I still can't get these mechanical things to work properly. 130 00:08:19,398 --> 00:08:23,027 If I'm reading this right, this doesn't say anything about voltage. 131 00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:24,228 Huh? 132 00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:28,205 You can use a 220 volt line for your appliances instead of the standard 110. 133 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:31,641 It takes the same 20-amp breaker, but doubles your power. 134 00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:35,578 Yeah. Double your power, double your fun. Oh, oh, oh! 135 00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:36,945 Let's go to the garage. 136 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,482 Would you like to know where Parker and I met? 137 00:08:43,556 --> 00:08:44,989 Uh-huh. OK. 138 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,825 In the frozen vegetable section of the supermarket. 139 00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:54,228 Nothing says romance like a bag of frozen succotash. 140 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,469 We chatted a little more in paper goods, 141 00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:02,002 and ended up exchanging life stories in pet food. 142 00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:05,834 By the time you got to checkout, you were an item? 143 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,270 It didn't go quite like that. 144 00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:12,106 You want to know what we did on our first date? 145 00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,217 Yeah, sure. 146 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,914 Parker took me dancing. 147 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:22,222 - I thought you hated dancing. - No! 148 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:25,162 Well, it was your father who didn't care for it. 149 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,063 Do you and Parker go dancing a lot? 150 00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:30,693 Every Saturday night. 151 00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:35,172 A couple of weeks ago he took me to a square dance festival in Austin. 152 00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:37,538 You drove up for the day? 153 00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:40,203 Well, actually we made a weekend of it. 154 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:46,041 It's a great idea. I'll run a line from the garage. 155 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:49,747 Parker figured out how to get more electricity and not break the rules. 156 00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:53,121 - This guy's sneaky. I like him. - You're pretty sneaky yourself. 157 00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:55,717 You figured out how to use a motor from your dryer. 158 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,794 You're taking apart our dryer? 159 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:03,732 I'm taking apart the dryer for you. 160 00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,136 It's for the holidays. 161 00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:10,174 You won't have to do laundry until way into the new year. 162 00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:12,904 Guess what, Tim asked me to come to Tool Time. 163 00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,413 Oh, that's wonderful. 164 00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:19,611 Just remember, if Tim uses words like "tweaked" and "souped up" and "uh-oh," 165 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,414 you run like hell. 166 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:25,257 If we're gonna make the Johnsons' for dinner we better go. 167 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,486 Oh, they're Parker's oldest friends in the world. 168 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,623 I'm a little nervous about meeting them. 169 00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:33,927 - They're gonna love you. - Oh. 170 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,629 - How could they not? - Wait. What time are you gonna be home? 171 00:10:37,703 --> 00:10:40,263 You don't have to wait up, honey. I have my keys. 172 00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,971 - See you later. Have fun. - Bye. 173 00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:48,170 Parker's a great guy. 174 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:52,182 Hey, how would you feel about him becoming part of the family? 175 00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,159 You throw pretty good for a girl. 176 00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:13,167 What do you got against Keith Partridge? 177 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,139 He's not dating your mother. 178 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:20,439 I just... I can't believe the way that she's acting! 179 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,481 It's like Dad never even existed. 180 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:26,517 And the way she goes on and on about her tawdry square dancing weekend. 181 00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:28,746 Come on, it's just square dancing, honey. 182 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:32,221 I could just see the two of them, do-si-do-ing around naked. 183 00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:44,099 It gives new meaning to the words, "Grab your partner". 184 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:49,832 And you! You! You! You're going out of your way to be chummy with him! 185 00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:53,436 I'm being hospitable because you, you, you asked me to! 186 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,746 You asked him to come to Tool Time. 187 00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:59,215 You never asked my father to come to Tool Time. 188 00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:01,252 Your father hated Tool Time. 189 00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:04,848 He'd never go. He said, "I'd rather watch a test pattern." 190 00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:09,687 How come you never took my father's suggestions about the Christmas lights? 191 00:12:09,762 --> 00:12:13,254 Jill, your father never gave me suggestions. He gave me orders. 192 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:15,300 OK, yeah, he was gruff. 193 00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:18,894 He was a very difficult person, but that doesn't make this easier. 194 00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:22,634 It seems like Mom's happier with Parker than she ever was with Dad. 195 00:12:22,708 --> 00:12:25,677 That's not the case. It's because it's a new relationship. 196 00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:28,542 I've got to talk to Mom about this thing, the way I feel. 197 00:12:28,614 --> 00:12:30,309 - No, no, don't. - Why not? 198 00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:35,075 It's Christmastime. It's no time to tell people how you feel. 199 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,919 Does everybody know what time it is? 200 00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:44,428 Tool Time! 201 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:48,627 That's right. Binford Tools is proud to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. 202 00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:53,838 Thank you. 203 00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:57,000 Wow, what a good audience. Good for you. Thank you, Heidi. 204 00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:58,703 Welcome to Tool Time. 205 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,679 I am Tim "The Yule Man" Taylor. 206 00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:06,079 Of course, you all know my assistant, Al Borland. 207 00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:07,983 Thank you. 208 00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:11,989 Well, it's almost Christmas, and Christmas is a time... 209 00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:13,217 ...for giving. 210 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,522 Right. And for you last-minute shoppers, 211 00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:18,927 the "Tool Man" here's got a selection of last-minute gift ideas. 212 00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:23,059 And to start us off, we have the Binford 6100 Sleep Enancer. 213 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,603 It's for you guys who can't drift off to sleep. 214 00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:28,572 It produces sounds to help you deep, deep sleep. 215 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,166 We have "Primeval Forest," "Babbling Brook"... 216 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:33,302 Boring. Boring. I like this one. 217 00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:37,844 Ahh. 218 00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:42,554 Indy cars going 220 miles an hour. 219 00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,657 All right. What do we have next? 220 00:13:46,725 --> 00:13:49,159 I have a big surprise. I'll be right back. 221 00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:53,665 In the meantime, why don't we look at some stocking stuffers from Binford? 222 00:13:53,732 --> 00:13:58,066 This year, say "Merry Christmas" with how-to videos starring Tim and Al. 223 00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:02,403 Right. Show your loved ones how to get rid of that annoying hum from lights 224 00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:05,670 in Silence of the Lamps. 225 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:12,283 And learn when to use nails instead of adhesives in Glueless. 226 00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:17,213 And my personal favorite, The Nutty Compressor. 227 00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:22,360 They loved this one in France. 228 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,554 And Tim has one more gift to show us. 229 00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:27,155 He said it was a red wagon. 230 00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:30,566 What would a grown man want with a little red wagon? 231 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,417 Oh, boy. 232 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,921 Wilson, what are you doing? 233 00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:55,552 Well, I'm trying to black out my windows 234 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,789 so I can finally get some sleep. 235 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:01,799 - Insomnia? - No, no, no. "Timsomnia." 236 00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:04,233 Here they go! 237 00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:13,238 Do not look directly into the Jesus. 238 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:19,013 Oh. I brought you a present. 239 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,949 Oh, my goodness. 240 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,318 Oh, boy, that's heavy. 241 00:15:24,723 --> 00:15:26,850 Jill, is it fruitcake? 242 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,089 No, it's not a fruitcake! It's a Christmas cake. 243 00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:32,323 It's made with mangoes and papayas and... 244 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,958 Oh, hell, it's a fruitcake! Fruitcake! Fruitcake! Fruitcake! 245 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:41,032 I'm sorry, I'm just upset about this whole thing 246 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,370 with my mother and her new boyfriend. 247 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,535 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 248 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,842 Tim says I should wait till after the holidays to talk to her, 249 00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:52,873 but I'm acting so crazy. I'm throwing baked goods at Keith Partridge. 250 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,249 I don't know. What do you think? 251 00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,290 Well, he's no Greg Brady, but... 252 00:15:58,390 --> 00:15:59,618 No! 253 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,754 I mean, what do you think about whether I should talk to her. 254 00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:06,127 Well, I agree with the poet William Blake, 255 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:08,723 who said, "I was angry with my friend 256 00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:12,464 I told my wrath My wrath did end". 257 00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:15,371 Yeah, but if I talk to her it could ruin her Christmas. 258 00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:18,103 If you don't, it could ruin everybody else's. 259 00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:20,509 Wilson, I want to show you Santa's sleigh. 260 00:16:20,579 --> 00:16:22,444 - Not now. - It'll take a minute. 261 00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:24,675 - Just a couple minutes. - I want to show you. 262 00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:27,115 What if I say the wrong thing and she gets hurt? 263 00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:31,555 Well, she won't if you just express yourself in a sensitive and tactful way. 264 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,434 Tim, will you keep your freakir Santa out of my yard?! 265 00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,306 Merry Christmas, honey. 266 00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,142 Oh, Merry Christmas, Mom. 267 00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:58,581 I told Parker to come over around 9:00 if that's not too early. 268 00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:00,850 Fine. 269 00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:05,621 Jill, are you feeling OK? You seemed a little quiet last night. 270 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,519 Mom, I have to talk to you about something. Um... 271 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:13,729 I hope that you don't hate me for saying this, but 272 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:16,632 I am uncomfortable with you dating. 273 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,363 Oh, I see. 274 00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:22,737 It doesn't have anything to do with Parker. It's just... 275 00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,776 ...so soon after Dad's death. 276 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,437 Well, it seemed soon to me, too. 277 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:31,745 That's why when Parker first asked me out in the grocery store, I said no. 278 00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:35,275 I thought it would be disrespectful to the memory of your father. 279 00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:38,687 So, you waited till you got to the parking lot? 280 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,791 For your information, I turned Parker down for weeks. 281 00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:47,354 I spent a lot of sleepless nights feeling guilty 282 00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,765 for even considering going out with him. 283 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:51,666 Mom, that's what you should feel! 284 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,898 I mean, you were married to Dad for 50 years! 285 00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:56,270 It was 51 years. 286 00:17:56,341 --> 00:17:59,504 And seven months. I don't need you to tell me how I should feel. 287 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:03,674 Excuse me. I'm having some trouble having to see you with another man. 288 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:08,015 It just seems like, I don't know, like Dad has just been replaced. 289 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,520 Replaced? 290 00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:13,620 Jill. 291 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,859 Your father could never be replaced. 292 00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:22,492 He's still so much a part of my life 293 00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:26,129 that it takes everything I've got to let someone else in. 294 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,205 I'm sorry, Mom. 295 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:33,233 I just... I hadrt anticipated how hard it would be for me to... 296 00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:35,713 ...not have Dad here for Christmas. 297 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,544 Well, it's hard for me, too. 298 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:43,084 I mean, as much as I'm trying to move on with my life, it... 299 00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:46,488 Not having him around just tears my heart out. 300 00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:48,753 Oh. 301 00:18:49,361 --> 00:18:52,228 You don't know how happy that makes me. 302 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:56,231 Well, not happy. 303 00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:59,168 - That sounded awful! - I know what you mean, honey. 304 00:18:59,238 --> 00:19:00,671 Oh, Mom. 305 00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:02,502 Oh, now, come on now, come on. 306 00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:07,405 Remember when you girls were little and your father would get up on Christmas 307 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,778 and make his famous apple pancakes? 308 00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:12,077 Oh, yeah. 309 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,018 As soon as he left the room we fed them to the dog. 310 00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:19,456 Do you think that's what killed the dog? 311 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,223 Well, it was sweet of him to do it for us. 312 00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:26,731 And nice of him to pass his cooking skills along to me. 313 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,165 - Mom. - Hmm? 314 00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,999 You remember I wanted you to open that present? 315 00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:34,800 - Oh, yes. - Would you do that now? 316 00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:36,636 - Yes, thank you. - Here. 317 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,874 Here you go. 318 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:43,379 Oh, look at that. There's an air filter and a gas cap. 319 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:49,713 Oh, Jill. 320 00:19:50,989 --> 00:19:53,753 I found it in your house and I had it restored. 321 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,952 Oh, it's beautiful. 322 00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:59,563 You were a beautiful bride. 323 00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:02,259 Look at that lovely alabaster skin. 324 00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:05,428 No, I was pale 'cause I was stuffed into that dress so tight 325 00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:08,268 the blood couldn't get to my head. 326 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:11,536 Of course, Dad's uniform is perfect. Check out the sword. 327 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,077 That wasrt just for show, you know. 328 00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:18,944 What? You're gonna tell me he cut the cake with it? 329 00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:22,578 No, he used it to cut me out of that dress. 330 00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:28,251 All right, Dad. Judges are out front. Turn on your lights. 331 00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:30,693 - Judges, you all ready? - Ready. 332 00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:33,264 One, two, three. 333 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,211 Oh! 334 00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:51,273 Dad! 335 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,784 Your Santa bounced off three different cars. 336 00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:56,013 What did the judge think of the lights? 337 00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:58,885 We'll let you know when he regains consciousness. 338 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:07,291 Christmas is over. Your wife might have got you stuff you didn't want. 339 00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:08,526 So, what do you do? 340 00:21:08,634 --> 00:21:11,660 I say exchange them for some how-to videos 341 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:14,228 from Binford's new home video collection. 342 00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,934 Like this one, our newest, Look Who's Caulking. 343 00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:25,415 The most important thing when caulking is to get a smooth seal. 344 00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:27,485 I like to use a harbor seal. 345 00:21:30,155 --> 00:21:32,817 - Right, Al? - I don't think so, Tim. 346 00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:36,258 Concentrate on the work or there could be an accident. 347 00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:39,764 Actually, there's already been an accident. 348 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:41,732 Mom! 349 00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:47,403 I never knew Detroit had stop signs. 350 00:21:48,373 --> 00:21:51,638 Those octagonal red things? Yeah. 351 00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:53,871 Are those octagons? 352 00:21:56,248 --> 00:21:58,079 Just... are they octagonal? 353 00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:00,744 Well, I scared myself with that word. 354 00:22:03,355 --> 00:22:06,085 I never knew Detroit had stop signs. 355 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,126 Ah. Those octagonal red things. No. 356 00:22:10,862 --> 00:22:13,228 I never knew Detroit had stop signs. 357 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,364 Those are those octagonal red... 29453

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