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Liberals, feel there is something going on

Liberals, waiting for the period long

But now we're the ones on fire we shout victory today

The Liberal Party, hey, hey, the Liberal Party

So this is how it turned out. I am dead politically. My party hates me.

I have condemned myself to a life of bitter loneliness.

Not quite what I'd imagined when I achieved every politician's dream:

Becoming Sweden's next prime minister.

David Holst, head of the Liberal Party. Welcome.

Do you intend to be prime minister?

I have no idea. What are you, my career advisor?

In that case, I want to become a gym teacher.

According to the latest polls, you can be whatever you want.

According to the latest survey, the Liberal Party is making great gains.

With the election weeks away, the conservative bloc has a huge lead.

Prime Minister candidate David Holst is said to be preparing to take power.

Conversely, the opposition looks likely to have its worst election in years.

...which you, Edvard Jonson, have placed outside society.

I'm fighting for their future.

- I don't know. - You hit the buzzer.

Most polls indicate that there will be a change of power.

Our exit polls show a clear lead for the conservatives.

The Social Democrats and Prime Minister Edvard Jonson are showing a poor result,

and the red-green block will get a total of 38%.

- David, you'll be a great prime minister. - Tell that to the moderates.

With 75% reporting, the right wing is in the lead.

So David Holst gets to form a government, since the Liberal Party is the largest.

-"Socialism is relegated..." -"...to the dustbin of history."

That's bullshit. Forget it.

- So what does he say? - Something snappier.

-"Congratulations, Sweden," maybe? - That old clothes ad.

- So? - The Christian Democrats may be out.

That would change the whole situation. The Christian Democrats have 3.9%.

- What does that mean? - It will be a dramatic election result.

You Christian, anti-abortion fucking homophobes.

- So where is God now? - God is a Social Democrat.

Jonson remains as prime minister, the right loses,

and the Christian Democrats drop out of Parliament.

Four more years!

FOUR MORE YEARS

No, his name is Hans-Åke, not Jan-Åke. Try again.

"We gratefully remember all he did for liberalism."

"Not only in Uddevalla, but in all of Bohuslän."

"You know who I'm thinking of."

Per Ahlmark is furious. He says your latest proposal is anti-Semitic.

- The one about the boat register? - Send flowers. Try to confuse him.

Hello again.

You need Bohuslän. Johnny Lundstedt is incredibly popular on the west coast.

- Who cares about Johnny Sacksweat? - Too many do.

He's turning the party against you. He's lethal. What are you doing?

- Nothing. Or, well, I'm working. - Let me see.

Cut it out, let me see.

World of Warcraft? You rat! We're trying to save your political future here!

Then don't. Never mind. I don't want to.

Stop it! You're going to be prime minister.

No, I won't. I had my shot, and I blew it.

- I'm sure there will be more chances. - Of course there won't be.

I'm done. Don't you see? I've lost 11%.

Okay, then we just forget it.

What? Forget what?

Everything. Just resign.

- Are you joking? I can't resign. - Might be nice to do something else.

I haven't had an actual job since I sold Christmas magazines.

Right, so maybe it's time.

But I love doing this! Resign?

Can't I make a hypothetical point without you getting hysterical?

David, it's your mom. She's been calling all day.

Hi, Ingrid, it's Fia. David can't talk right now.

No, we're fucking.

Darling... all you need to do

is go to dinner, give the Karl Staaf plaque to an old man,

and remember that his name is Hans-Åke. Then everything will be fine.

We remember with gratitude everything he has done for liberalism,

not only in Uddevalla but in all of Bohuslän.

You know who I am thinking of.

- Hans-Åke... - Hans-Åke Samuelsson.

- Gabrielsson. - Yes, right.

Documents for the Foreign Affairs Committee. Read the parts in red.

Pretend to have read the yellow, and ignore the rest.

The motion for you to sign, and a letter to the editor that you wrote.

- Which one? - The one about agricultural support.

And we have email questions from a children's magazine. You like horses.

Top secret about the party's future. If it leaks, I'll cut off your balls.

- Secret. Balls. - See you.

Busy on the right wing?

You bet. Lots of rich people to make richer, and lots of gaps to widen.

- How's it going, running the country? - So much to destroy.

Schooling, business, justice...

- The labor market. - National defense.

Sorry. Damn...

- No, no, no! Look away! - I won't read it.

Stand up and look at the wall, please. Close your eyes.

- Should I cover my ears and sing? - Yes, do that.

Wow. I broke my deodorant.

But you saved your balls.

You are standing on the future of the Liberal Party.

- Don't listen to her, I beg you. - Darling, you know I'm right.

Martin Kovac... What do we think of him?

- A pure bred Social Democrat mafioso. - A real asshole.

He never tells the truth. He invented rate caps in elder care.

- A vomit-inducing populist. - With him, we'd have won 20%.

- Good looking, too. A shame he's gay. - It's probably negotiable.

- Has he contacted you? - What?

Never negotiate with Kovac. You're not in the same league.

You'll give him your summer home.

Of course not. I just bumped into him and thought he seemed...

...awful.

Is that Edvard?

I assume you're not going to answer that.

Offer them an increase in acquisition deductions. They'll never agree to that.

He doesn't understand interest rates. He's in the Green Party.

I'll take the evening papers, and just deny knowledge. I'm almost done.

She's still criticizing the EMU? Put her in a traffic commission for 6 months

and she'll change her tune.

If she talks to the TV news she's politically dead

and won't even get on a small-town council.

Yes. Okay, we'll do that. Thanks for calling.

No, you're never a bother. Okay. Bye.

But darling, what is this?

Are you moving out because I answered the phone?

No.

- Hi, Dad. - Hi.

Well, come in.

Of course, you can stay here as long as you want.

It's only a few days. Until the cabinet office finds an apartment.

- So you don't think Hugo will calm down? - I don't know if I care.

- Are you sure those things are healthy? - Oh, yes.

- Who was that? - Heddan. Hedvig von Essen.

Married to half the SE bank.

- Where do you find them? - Karlaplan Square.

Nothing turns them on like an old Bolshevik.

LUNCH MENU ESTONIAN TURNIP GRATIN / PASTA BOLOGNESE

Don't get the Estonian turnip gratin. It's like eating a bite-size gulag.

I have to. The lunch lady is Estonian. They were occupied for 50 years.

- Everyone gets the pasta. - Exactly.

Maybe she rowed across the Baltic. I don't want to spit on her national dish.

- I'll have the turnip gratin, please. - Good luck.

Thank you.

What do you recommend?

- The pasta. - I'll take that.

Hi, Martin, good to see you. Are you going to the Green Party gala tonight?

Of course. Have I ever turned down free boxed wine?

I called a taxi for the hearing at the Entrepreneur's Association.

Fia and I decided that you're upset about the co-financing of health insurance.

- But you don't promise anything. Okay? - Hey...

I have a lot to do. I'll have to be a little late.

- What do you mean, "late"? - Just a few hours.

What do they do in the meantime? Run a pub quiz?

- Can't you talk? - What are you going to do?

- Cheese and wine with the Green Party. - Okay. Yeah. Sure...

And they're unhappy about the tax rules for small companies...

Jörgen, I'm not kidding. I'm going there.

What's wrong with you? Why would you go there?

Excuse me, please.

Oh, my. Is that some sort of Liberal greeting ritual?

No, it's the shoes. They're too big.

Fia bought them and I didn't have time to exchange them.

You have to wear shoes if they're that expensive.

- So you're here too? - What a surprise, right?

I just wanted to meet people, and I thought you might be here.

- I never go to things like this. - I guess I got lucky.

I'm sorry about the latest polls.

As Mauro Scocco says, "I get weaker every day."

- Ratata, the first record. - Their first song, actually.

- First single. The first song was-- -"Doctor Love."

- Mauro wrote it in high school. - Damn. You really know your Ratata.

You bet. All my debuts were accompanied by Ratata.

Me too!

Hey, uh... Do you want some more wine?

- Or did the shirt have enough already? - No, it can probably absorb a bit more.

- Do you know where the toilets are? - Just down there to the right.

Great.

- If you don't mind... - No worries. I'll fix it.

Be right back.

Excuse me... The prime minister is looking for you.

- Now. Is it that urgent? - It's about the future of Europe, he said.

Hello, Edvard. What's this about?

Martin... Turkey must join the EU.

What, now?

Within 20 years. It just hit me. It's vital for Europe.

And this couldn't have waited until tomorrow?

Did you have something more important?

No.

Do you want a croissant?

It'll cost you. One kiss.

And one more.

- Do you want a croissant, Martin? - Not at that price.

Hey, by the way...

We're going to Cyprus. You'll be parent-less for a few weeks.

Can you handle that?

I will miss you terribly, but I will do my best.

Did you read the county association summons?

What? No.

Please, David. Can you at least pretend to listen when I go through your mail?

I'm trying to help you with everything. Next I'll be chewing your food.

I've arranged a free weekend for you. You can rest for two days.

Okay.

- The Stockholm Liberals meet tonight... - Never!

You haven't been there for two years.

- Yes, they hate me. - Because you're never there.

You have to show yourself. They're going to think you're dead.

That should lighten the mood.

So let Johnny take over the whole party.

- What is this? -"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch." Underrated.

"Ratata nostalgia night. Friday night at Martin's house."

It's already started.

"Menu: Estonian turnip gratin." That has to be a joke.

- Association of Independent Schools... - You know what? You're right.

I'll visit the county association. Time to show some initiative.

Shake a few hands, drink a little coffee.

I mean, I can't just surrender. Don't wait up.

Hello, Martin. This is David... Holst.

Yes, well, I just got your invitation and...

I'm in a taxi now.

If you get this message... Well...

Hello?

- Hi, there! - Hello.

So you showed up? You should have RSVPed on Wednesday.

Yes, I know...

Marita Ulvskog is in town. She'll be here later.

No, I'm just kidding. Come on in.

So personal hygiene is a right-left issue?

No, not at all. It's only about deodorant.

Green Party members are deodorant skeptics. Then use rises, party by party.

The right are always rolled-on.

So if the right keeps moving to the center, will their deodorant use suffer?

Yes, exactly. In three years, Anders Borg will stink like a wrestler's shirts.

Somebody should do research on that.

Are you joking? The fat one from Dalecarlia?

The boar from Garphyttan.

And the woman in the culture committee who looks like Lars Adaktusson?

Where?

In the stenographer's booth. I've seen the stains.

Oh, yuck!

You're like some sadistic older brother who breaks promises

lies, harasses, gives wedgies. Always some kind of mischief.

We just can't help it, with a little brother like the Liberal Party.

Just poke you lightly, and you're all "International law! The spirit of Europe!"

That is a dishonorable argument... that blames the victim!

Yes, that's what you guys sound like.

Dad really loved Palme. Dad was his speechwriter for 10 years.

When he's drunk, he's the employee fund investor.

He was going to be party secretary. Palme had made up his mind.

- What happened? - An affair with someone on the right.

Huge scandal. He was a pariah in the party for years.

He still resents that.

- How did the right-winger do? - How do you think?

"Social Democrat whore," "traitor." I think she opened a golf shop.

The Liberal Party, hey, hey, the Liberal Party

Wonderful! The Liberal Party...

Is there any more grappa?

...and, also, the defense levy is a punt... punitive tax on higher education.

But above all, it is a violation of the 1990 tax agreement.

- Really? - Yes!

And when it comes to property taxes, it's a... It's a...

Is it really a quarter to three?

I have... I can't... I have to go home.

- Should I call a taxi for you? - No, no.

Thank you for a wonderful dinner. Truly.

The property tax counteracts its own purpose... It locks savings into a...

It's the same with the capital gains tax... It has slowdown effects that...

One day, this will all end

But we will do the best we can

To make it last

So let me in... Can you hear me?

Let me in... Let me in...

Into your paradise

Let me in...

Oh, holy shit...

Good morning, you old sexual liberal.

Eggs and sausage for breakfast. A real working man's breakfast.

Oh, damn...

I mean...

What... What happened here?

How detailed should I get?

- This is not good. - Over easy or regular?

How are you planning to use this?

I've put the photos up on YouTube.

"Sodomy across party lines." More than 20,000 hits.

- Over easy or regular? - Over easy.

So...

Can we maybe just put this behind us?

You're very good at romantic small talk.

I just mean... Sorry.

Good morning.

Good morning.

- Turn it on now. - It's like opening the gates of hell.

There will be so much rage in my voicemail.

We're politicians. Everyone hates you.

- Where should I say I've been? - Where the sun don't shine.

Say you've been negotiating. It'll be fine.

Sooner or later I have to tell her.

Fia is going to be so upset.

- Do I have to tell her? - Tell her what?

- This. - What, exactly?

That we... That I...

That I'm bisexual.

- Bisexual? - Yes, what about it?

Bisexuality is a myth created by the National Board of Health and Welfare.

A sensible compromise.

Like Serbo-Croatian, or Option 2 in the nuclear power referendum.

Or Social Liberal. Have your cake and eat it, too.

"No problem. I'm just a bit bisexual."

- Are you claiming bisexuals don't exist? - Maybe they do.

But it sounds like what conservative politicians make up

to avoid admitting they're flaming gay.

Listen, that's not the case.

I had no idea about that when I came here yesterday.

So why did you come here?

Because I thought that you were nice.

Because we were going to listen to Ratata.

Jörgen, shit... Hey, Jörgen.

- I'm in negotiations. - What negotiations?

- About the Norrbotnia trains. - What? Why don't I know about that?

And the battery is low. Will you tell Fia that I will call later?

Good. Bye now.

- So it begins. - Great! You lie like a Social Democrat.

Norrbotnia trains...

You just raised Piteå real estate prices.

"Mom and Dad."

Yes, this is David. Hi, Dad!

Mom is on the roof.

- No! Tell her to come down. - That's not working.

I can't, I'm in the middle of negotiations about all of Norrland's infrastructure.

You can't do this to me.

I make no promises.

Yes, I promise.

I'm on my way. Bye.

I'm turning it off now.

The last time the roof was replaced was in 1969.

- Just pay someone. - Mom would rather cut her own butt off.

- That roof has to be fixed by me. - So she goes up on the roof...

- ...to force me up there. - What's your dad say?

- Nothing. He's playing Tetris. - This will be great.

Don't get your hopes up. It's a guerilla raid. We get mom down and escape.

- You don't leave the car. - Surely I can say hello?

- Wave through the window, engine running. - Okay.

There it is. The house with the bigoted curtains.

- Is that a thing? - Feels like it.

You can stop here...

- Please, Mom. - Oh, I see.

Has His Excellency come down from Olympus?

I'm sorry, I haven't arranged for a wind symphony,

but there's a hole in the roof that has to be fixed.

I'll fix it at Easter. Can you come down now?

Who is that? Another vulture sniffing out a carcass?

I'm Martin, a friend of David's. Do you need help?

- How do I thank you for the roof? - It was just fun.

- Do you want help with the dishes? - He can manage it himself.

- Are you also in politics, Martin? - Yes, yes I am.

I admire you young people with the strength to wage the political struggle.

The Social Democrats have destroyed so much.

Now all our hopes are with you. You are the heroes of our time.

- Well, I'm not... - Oh yes, in my eyes you are.

Oh, poor Liberal Party, losing voters all the time.

What can be done about that, you think?

- What I think the Liberal Party should do? - Yes, if you were to decide.

I'd eliminate the party program. Then clean out the whole parliamentary group.

It's nice to hear someone who speaks plainly, like an honest man.

- Have you put forth this criticism? - I haven't been asked.

No, of course. You're awkward for them with your clear vision.

- David doesn't listen to you, does he? - No.

Not to me, either. The arrogance of power.

Tell me, now that someone's finally listening... What's David doing wrong?

Why is he a failure as a party leader?

From my perspective, he is excellent. He gets better every day.

What fidelity! What a nice friend David has in you.

Mom, Martin is a Social Democrat.

You're unbelievable. As soon as someone opposes you, he's a Social Democrat.

- He said the same about the former leader. - What David is trying to say is...

Don't defend him. Don't let him scare you into silence.

- Is it just me who wants whiskey? - I thought you were teetotalers.

We're not Laestadian Lutherans. Only David is one of those.

Hey, there. We're going down to the garage.

Martin is going to help me with the distribution box!

- What? - What?

No, I didn't say anything.

You're priceless!

You must have heard the guy on the radio who imitates David so well.

Right! What does he say?

Martin, if you've fixed the distribution box, maybe we should go?

Nope. Martin and I decided you're sleeping over.

You sleep in your room and Martin in the guest room. Go make the bed for him.

11 MISSED CALLS 9 NEW MESSAGES

Yes?

- Mom's room is next to the bathroom. - Oh, bitterness...

So attractive...

- What the hell are you doing? - Come lie down.

- Are you crazy? They'll hear us! - So what?

Are you insane? Have you met Mom?

What is she going to say? "Hello, are you gaying in there?"

Does that slide projector work?

- You were so cute. - Very few thought so at school.

Great shirt. Where did you find those?

Mom sewed them from curtain fabric.

Oh my god! How did you survive high school?

The shirts were the least of my problems. I was a damned Baptist.

So you escaped into the usual: Swedish Mad Magazine and masturbation?

- No, no jerking off for me. - Excuse me?

I wasn't allowed. Jerking off was like murdering someone, or listening to Kiss.

But, where...? Where did it go?

- You must have had tsunami-like pollution. - I suppose so.

Never?

There were occasional penalty jerk-offs.

- Some what? - Punishment jerk-offs.

If I had done or thought something horrible...

I punished myself by jerking off and thinking of something disgusting.

- What's so strange about that? - You're unbelievable.

What did you think about? Go ahead and tell me!

- Uncle Gunnar. - Oh, David. I'm blushing!

It was nothing sexual. He was big and fat, had a mustache, and was sweaty.

And I thought I was the depraved one.

- Barbro! Hello! - Hey there, Party Leader.

I'm helping your mom and I saw someone here.

- We were actually sleeping. - Not any more.

I saw your debate with Thomas Östros on TV.

- You took one hell of a beating. - Really? I thought it went pretty well.

You know what you do wrong? You're a damn wimp.

You don't defend yourself. Why are you so wimpy?

We researched what qualities voters wanted and wimpiness ranked very high.

You have to hit back, damn it.

- Is that your wife there? - Exactly.

- Wasn't she blonde? - It varies.

Another thing I was thinking about. Your voice...

You have an odd whiny tone...

Barbro, I'm very grateful, but it's very cold.

Crawl back in with wifey.

Like I said, bite back. Don't let the Social Democrats fuck you in the ass.

No. I'll remember your advice.

...and we would travel one more time

Home

Home to Stockholm again

Where I have a friend who's waiting

Home to Stockholm again

That's the place I long for

At least I tried.

It's Sunday morning It was a late night yesterday

Well, it's Monday tomorrow. What are you going to do for your country?

Prepare a trip to Eastern Europe to sell fighter planes.

- Sounds hopeless. - It's like selling lottery tickets.

You nag your neighbors, but then Dad buys all the tickets.

- And you? Some exciting meeting? - Dick Jägemo at the Swedish Trade Council.

Dick Jägemo. Tricky Dicky?

I had a fling with him in my Social Democrat youth days.

- I feel like a virgin here. - Not a very convincing one.

Okay, a newbie. Everyone I talk about, you've slept with.

- That's not true, is it? - Nearly.

- How many have you slept with? - That question already.

- Are you sure you want to know? - Yes.

No.

Yes I do!

- How about a ballpark figure. - Ballpark?

Would they have a majority in Parliament?

No...

- Would they be the largest party? - Not quite as big as the Social Democrats.

- But bigger than the right... - That's enough, thanks.

What are you worrying about?

- What? - I can't handle this.

I'm going to lose my wife, my family... and my job.

I can't handle this.

Hey, then we just don't tell anyone.

That's fine. I promise not to say anything to anyone.

- You don't mind, then? - No, of course I don't.

We keep it a secret.

Okay. So what's the next step?

Open the car door.

I mean about us.

I'll call you in a few days.

If I can hold out that long.

You know...

I've never felt this way before...

I'll be in touch.

Fia!

Hello!

You liar. I know what you're up to.

Are you happy now that I'm standing here like an idiot?

Damn it, David! Everyone's asked, and I always say, "No, he never lies."

- You lying, fucking pig! - It wasn't like that.

When were you going to tell me? Did you expect me to read about it in the paper?

- No... - Shut up!

- I thought I knew you. - Fia, I...

What will we tell people? To everyone who backed you?

- What do we say to the local politicians? - What do you mean?

- What do we tell the rail administration? - Rail administration? What are you...?

- The Norrbotnia trains! What do you think? - You're upset about the trains?

Do you think I'm stupid? You know that Jörgen told me

that you sold out our infrastructure policy to the Social Democrats!

I haven't sold out the Norrbotnia line. I lied to get rid of Jörgen.

So where have you been?

- I was in Katrineholm. - What?

- What were you doing there? - Fixing the roof.

I don't understand.

I needed time to think through my role as party leader and everything.

And the roof?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I DO TO HORNY LITTLE BAPTISTS?

There she goes Without showing any emotion

So tell me How can I ever make myself heard?

It doesn't matter what I say now

You can read me like an open book

Let me in... Let me into your paradise

Into your paradise

So happy For nothing at all

Just to be close to you So blow out all the candles

Come closer And let me in...

I said let me in... Let me in

Into your paradise

It's late, you're tired And you say nothing

One day, all this will end

But we do the best we can To make it through

So let me in... Do you hear me? Let me in...

Let me into your paradise

Let me in...

- Hi, Martin. - No. No.

- You can't be here. - Take your things.

- There's more out in the car. - Listen.

- This is extremely bad timing. - Martin...

I know how you feel. But you have to move on.

Please, Hugo. Get out of here. Seriously.

You're making Chicken Cacciatore.

- You're meeting a man, having sex. - Yes. Will you go now?

So cute, you're blushing.

Please...

- Tell me, I'm curious. - Stop that now.

- Are you a prude now? - I'm not interested.

- What are you afraid of? - Nothing. Can you just leave now?

Are you afraid I'll get horny? No? Well, then, what are you afraid of?

Stop it.

Okay, then. Killjoy.

It's fine. The best thing that could happen.

STUCK IN A MEETING CAN'T GET HOME

How's it going, man?

Oh, it's good. Brilliant.

- Hello. - I forgot the keys.

Why are you home? Weren't you having some secret meeting with KG Bergström?

He canceled. I bought cheese and wine.

Oh, I love it.

Why did KG back out?

Migraine.

- How was your day? - Good.

I tried leaking that Johnny Sacksweat pays his cleaner under the table.

- Is that true? - I have no idea.

- What are you doing? - Can't you tell?

Sure, but that isn't really our thing, is it?

- Why wouldn't it be? - Why? You know why.

- No. - Oh, cut it out.

- But tell me. - Because you're not interested.

- Say what? What do you mean? - How fucking clear do I need to be?

Because you're homosexual.

- What are you saying? - You heard me.

- What? Are you kidding? - Are you?

- But we're married, for Chrissake! - Yes, I am aware of that.

- Would I, of all people...? - What is this theater?

- I thought we were on the same page. - We never discussed it.

No, why would we?

- It's been obvious for a long time. - It has?

Maybe for you.

Darling... It doesn't matter.

Why did you stay?

Well, by the time I realized it...

We were in the middle of an election campaign, so I waited.

I got used to it.

Why didn't you say something?

Wait... Are you saying, "Darling, I'm gay. Why didn't you tell me?"

Yes, you could have helped me.

I'm famous. I could have slept around. I would have been happier.

You, sure, but what about... everyone around you?

- For you. - For us. We're a team.

- We would have been anyway. - I couldn't be sure about that.

I'd have gladly fucked him myself. If he weren't gay, a Social Democrat...

...And evil made flesh. I guess it's not a big deal.

Are you very much in love with him?

- I think so. - Typical.

What happens now?

- Should we get a divorce? - No. Not on my account.

- What about you? - No, it's not an emergency.

So we go on?

But it's time to dump Martin Kovac.

- Hey, lover boy. - Oh, hello.

- How's it going? - All good.

Tonight... Should we...?

Hello.

So, hey... Tonight?

- You also have a group meeting, right? - Yes.

How about a coffee break at 8:30 p.m.?

- No, that won't work. - When is good for you?

I'm trying to cut down on coffee.

"This number is no longer in service."

Okay.

- Did you change phone numbers? - Yes, right. Too many people had it.

I see...

I understand. So what's the new number?

No idea. You know, me and numbers...

- Yes, I saw your budget proposal. - Right?

I know that I can't compete with the Parliament newspaper,

but may I ask a question?

Yes.

What the fuck is going on?

Are you afraid of something? Did someone say something?

What do you mean?

Do you think it's a trap? That I'm taking advantage of you?

- Not at all. - So then what is it?

I'm sorry if you took it more seriously than I did.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

Are you dumping me? Is that what you're saying?

This isn't happening. Who scared you? Tell me!

Nobody scared me. Don't be so dramatic.

So I misread everything?

I don't believe that.

Well, that's the case, anyway.

Unfortunately.

You're not coming along?

No. It's never particularly fun.

The Center Party's salsa party? Are you kidding?

Biggest meat market ever. You'd have to be a leper not to get laid.

- So what are your tactics? - Well...

Here's my thinking... Nobody wants what they get at home.

So if you want to get with a Leftist, you do lamb's wool and a pearl necklace.

- And if you want a right-winger? - Just look like a parking-lot whore.

- And for the Center Party? - Those farmers.

Just shower and have ten fingers.

- What do you think? - You can go for someone from the right.

- Are you sure? I can add more. - You look like an ad for trafficking.

Thank you! And what does your evening look like?

- I've rented three Beck movies. - Oh, for fuck's sake, David.

You should rent "Hung like a Horse."

You can't even humiliate yourself properly.

For a month, you've eaten goat cheese and binged on Swedish TV detectives.

- So what should I be doing? - Get a guy, for god's sake.

- And how do I do that? - Online dating.

How do you think everyone else does it?

So do it! I don't care anymore, got it?

You can't torment me any longer! Go to hell!

- Hello. - Hello. Oh, hello!

I recognize you. Where have we seen each other before?

No, don't tell me. I want to figure it out myself.

You? You're a lying, fucking parasite.

You fucking hooker!

I know it has something to do with sports.

How can you close down hospitals, just to save money?

Isn't human life worth a thing?

- Discus. - Yes! I knew it!

- You have a world record. - Indoor.

- And you shut down the post offices! - I did not shut down post offices.

- I won't be having coffee. - God, you smell good. Come here.

Are you really hungry, or is it okay if we just skip dinner?

Come on. Take a guess.

Okay, here we go. He's both famous and straight.

No, I'm not lying. I can take a photo.

So guess!

No, it's not Prince Carl Philip. He's older and uglier than that.

Magnus Hedman? You wish.

No, not Hasse Aro. Not that sexy.

Thinner than Tommy Körberg, but the same age.

Thank you very much.

- So what was my speech about? - Don't ask me. I didn't write it.

Jörgen? I didn't understand a word.

Maybe it's your awful English pronunciation.

- That doesn't explain... - So write your own speeches.

- That's not what I meant. - That's what it sounded like.

We have 45 seconds to get to the hotel, shower, and change for the banquet.

I have to pee.

You're like a five-year-old. As soon as there's a rush, you have to pee.

- I'm being treated like I'm five. - Want to be treated like an adult?

- Act like an adult every once in a while. - Then I will go pee.

You'll take a dump just to annoy me.

- Go on ahead, I'll see you at the hotel. - You don't even know what it's called.

- Yes, I do. - Then what is it?

- I know the hotel. - It's your call. Good luck!

Fucking Hungary!

Fucking Hungary!

- Well, look! Hello! - Hello.

Why are you here?

This is what happens when you try to pee in Hungary.

- But what are you doing here? - Ask Fia.

She wants me to go abroad more, to look more like a statesman.

- Well, it's working. - What are you doing here?

I'm selling fighter planes. But don't tell the Green Party.

May I invite you to dinner? Or does that have to go through Fia and Jörgen?

- One question. Is this dinner a date? - That's for you to decide.

- Then it's not. - Nice, then I can write it off.

You could anyway. Just lie.

- Pretend I'm the former justice minister. - I always do.

- It would have been nice to have a date. - I have bad dating experiences.

My last date preferred Hasse Aro.

I don't get dates. What are you supposed to do?

- I don't know. Get to know each other? - How?

With pathetic questions: "When was the last time you cried?"

-"What vegetable would you like to be?" - Can't we do that?

- Seriously? - Practice for if I end up on a date again.

This is so freaking gay.

What will you do after politics?

I'm going to be a housewife. Go to the hair salon and drink on the sly.

My husband will slap my rump like a misogynist. How about you?

Edvard will set up something in Brussels for me. A long title and 180,000 a month.

- And be a legend at Brussels' gay clubs. - Nope. I'm done with that.

I want to come home to someone I can slap like a sexist.

- I'll take the sofa bed. - Stop, you're the guest.

- I'm the one imposing. - I'm taking the sofa bed. Okay?

The Continental! Hotel Continental.

Is that where you're staying? It's next door.

I see.

Well...

I might be misremembering.

Look, that's me! It's about my speech.

*Characters don't themselves understand *Should not be translated - leave blank

Very good summary.

You know what I think?

We should go to the press and tell them.

About what?

About us. Our love story. That kind of thing always leaks.

Better to say it ourselves.

- Okay. So that's what this is about? - We become beloved national fags.

Do a talk show and talk about aging in matching knit sweaters.

- It'll be great fun. - That my political future is destroyed?

Come on. David... We have each other.

Do we? Till you hop into bed with the next one.

- What do you mean by that? - I'm not stupid.

I know what makes you tick. I have no illusions. You are who you are.

Oh, it's mask off now. A bigoted evangelical. Your mother would rejoice.

So you're a bigot if you don't fuck every man you meet?

I'd rather be a whore than a Baptist who gets anxious whenever he gets a hard-on.

- This was a huge mistake. - Agreed.

- What was I thinking, sleeping with you? - Probably about Uncle Gunnar.

Excuse me...

David... This isn't what you think. It's not what it looks like.

- Fia and I have a relationship. - So what do you think it looks like?

I know, but this is really awkward.

I'm sorry, David. Don't blame Fia, I'm the one who seduced her.

Why don't you go take a shower, Jörgen?

Where the hell have you been?

- Nothing? - Not a thing.

Not even a little strategy document on tax policy?

Not even that.

Then why did you do it?

You know that there are other reasons to have sex, right?

Not with David Holst.

- So he's a backdoor elf? - Yes.

Nothing wrong with that, but I would like to see that clown

publicly hanged for it, if it didn't mess with my plans.

- What plans? - To make you party secretary.

- Wow. - We'll need a new one in a year.

I don't need a nut who'll scrap nuclear power and weapons exports. I want you.

But it can't be the Liberal leader's boyfriend.

We have something painful to tell you.

We've decided to get divorced.

I'm sorry.

For me and your father, marriage is instituted by God

and therefore inviolable. We tried to raise you in that spirit.

But this is an exception.

- You mean... - I hated her the second we met.

So what led to this excellent decision?

Well...

Do you remember Martin who was here?

Adorable! And with a big heart for the Liberal Party.

I doubt that. He works for Edvard Jonson in the government.

Well... Martin and I... became more than friends.

We became very...

...very close.

You don't mean...

...You're...

- That you've become a Social Democrat! - No! No, no, no.

Ingrid, David is a faggot! A fairy, a butt boy!

You couldn't do that again even if you got 50 tries.

I think we're playing that direction.

Isn't that the one from the cooking class you had a fling with?

Until her sister showed up. Fucking nymphomaniac!

And then I get blamed...

And so... What did Edvard want to talk about at Harpsund?

He wants me to be party secretary.

Nothing to say?

I don't want to start fucking crying in public.

There's no greater job. At all.

And nobody better for it than you.

But when you take that job, you are married to the movement. You understand?

You can't run around screwing members of the Liberal Party.

Aren't you going to throw?

And furthermore...

Hey... Are you okay?

Dad... Dad!

Dad!

Dad!

Dad!!

Hey! Can you call an ambulance?

When the unthinkable happens

That no one could have predicted

When fate deals you a hand

You never want to see again

Can anyone see a meaning

In anything that happens?

Why did it have to happen to you?

And why right here and now?

You face a long dark road

That you never meant to walk

You have to take one step at a time

What else can you do?

There's a summary of the summary in the back. You are opposed.

The speech for Gothenburg. Happy face indicates a joke, and angry means upset.

- Is that really necessary? - We don't want another Östersund, right?

Oh, I see what you mean.

The questions from the Home Journal, and your answers.

You cried a lot at the divorce, but we are friends now, blah, blah.

- I like "to cook Ethiopian food"? - Exactly. It's probably goat and stuff.

See you tomorrow. Bye.

Nothing can be heard Nothing is seen

When a world is suddenly split in two

Days come And days go

The sun shines just like before

That something we tend to forget

I WANT RENEGOTIATIONS ABOUT THE NORRBOTNIA LINE

TABLE BOOKED, OPERA BAR, 9 P.M.

And for those left behind

Only questions, no replies

And you face a long, dark road

- Here you are. - Thanks. I'm waiting for another person.

That you were never going to walk

You have to take one step at a time

What else can you do

When the unthinkable happens?

You will get through this

Give it the time that it takes

For every lost person

There is a road back

Back...

And you face a long dark road...

It's a completely normal computer, Jörgen.

It's black. You've seen it, haven't you? It must be. It's not here.

Look, the train leaves in a half hour. Oh! Check the bathroom. It could be there.

I may have brought it in there. No worse than sitting there doing Sudoku.

Here comes Fia. I'll open.

Yes, but... Okay, I'll come down and get it.

Hello, you bigoted little Evangelical.

Who gets anxious when I get a hard-on. Hello.

- Where are you going? - Gothenburg.

My last chance to tear Western Sweden from Johnny Sacksweat's claws.

Exciting. I'm on my way to the Municipal Days in Sundsvall.

At one o'clock, Edvard will introduce me to the press as the new party secretary.

Wow. That's fantastic.

Yes, amazing. If I say yes.

- Why wouldn't you? - Well, I don't know...

Maybe you want me back?

This is ridiculous. We were made for each other. I want to live with you.

You have no idea how much I...

...have longed for this.

- But I can't. - We love each other.

Don't you get that? How can you say no to that?

There are people who have stood up for me for many years. I can't let them down.

- I don't have the right to. - Do you know what time it is?

You need to help me pack. I have to get the computer.

Goodbye. See you on the train.

- Hi. What are you doing here? - Nothing. I'm taking the train.

Yes. Thanks, Per. Great.

We'll do that. Bye.

Per Ahlmark is suing us for incitement against ethnic groups.

Our new building standards proposal is evidently suffused with hatred for Israel.

So what were you talking with Martin Kovac about?

Well...

He thinks that we should live together. He says we were made for each other.

- And then you said? - I told him the truth. That it's insane.

That we would just make each other unhappy.

- How does it feel? - It's sad, of course.

But really nice at the same time. It feels like I...

Like I finally made the right decision.

-"That's enough." You understand? - Yes.

Well...

Hey. You know what? This is where we turn it around.

- What? - I feel it. The voters are coming back.

We lose 1.5 % in yesterday's poll.

Less than in February. We can only go up from here.

- Or be out of Parliament. - No.

Let's take West Sweden back.

And with the whole party backing me, we win the election.

- Have you read the news telegrams today? - No.

"The Liberal Party in Östergötland, Blekinge, and Gotland

also back Johnny Lundstedt's demand that party leader David Holst resign."

"Holst is now only supported by Gästrikland."

Am I completely brain-dead?

I threw away the only thing in my life that matters.

There you go.

In 20 minutes, he'll be party secretary.

I suppose...

The natural thing to do now is to run around screaming hysterically.

That's probably what I would do.

But apathy works, too.

So that's how it ended up. I'm politically dead, the party hates me,

and we're about to be out of Parliament.

My marriage was a hoax.

I've ruined my mother's life

and condemned myself to a life of bitter loneliness.

May I borrow your parliament newspaper?

No. I'm not quite done with it.

- Don't blame me. It was her idea. - What?

- This morning at my place? - Yup.

- How could you know...? - Please. You always regret your decisions.

Why wouldn't you regret this one?

- Jörgen, let's get coffee. - I have some.

- Come on. - Okay, but I'm taking these with me.

- What does Edvard say? - He wants to negotiate.

He's ready to lower corporate taxes by seven percent if you dump me.

If he'd said 12 percent, I would have considered it.

Subtitle translation by JE Thelin