Original subtitles

My name is Marshall Teller.

I knew my new hometown was going to be different

from where I grew up in New Jersey,

but this is ridiculous.

Nobody believes me, but, Eerie, Indiana,

is the center of weirdness for the entire planet.

[CAWING]

Item, Elvis lives on my paper route.

Thank you, lil' paper boy.

Item, Bigfoot eats out of my trash.

Item, Even man's best friend is weird.

Still don't believe me? You will.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

MARSHALL: The Eerie Library needed some fast cash to pay for renovations.

So some of the old books that were down in the library basement

got sent to World O' Stuff, and put up for sale.

We're talking old books.

Books that haven't seen the light of day in years.

Simon, can we go already?

But I gotta do this for my history paper.

"The Jackalope and Its Relation to the Federal Deficit."

Really fascinating, Simon. Let's go.

Simon, it's her.

Andrea Fantucci.

Man, I'd sure like to meet her.

So go ahead. What's stopping you?

Nah. She's busy. I don't wanna bother her.

I'll get her for you.

Miss, excuse me, miss? My friend wants to meet you!

What?

Nothing. Never mind.

[SIMON CHUCKLING] You're a dead man, Simon.

Hey, Simon, check this out.

Mary B. Carter.

It's got a real old stamp and everything.

There's no post mark. I guess it's never been mailed.

Maybe it's some letter written on someone's deathbed.

Maybe its got some weird secrets no one's heard in a hundred years.

We should do the right thing and mail it, huh?

You kidding? Lets open this baby.

[WIND BLOWING]

Hey, somebody must've opened a window

[CLATTERING]

[ELECTRICITY STATIC]

[TRIPP YAWNING AND STRETCHING]

Gentlemen. Thanks for the wake up call.

MARSHALL: There he was. Tripp McConnell.

What was he? Some ghost that just appeared outta thin air?

Some weird Eerie angel crash landing at the World O' Stuff?

I wasn't sure.

But all my instincts said one thing, Marshall, run away.

Now, Marshall, you have to do a little favor for me.

Um. No thanks.

Let's go, Simon.

MARSHALL: Late that night, something really creepy-mondo-weird

was happening at my house.

The stranger had put my family under a spell.

A gypsy. A gypsy.

I can't believe Marshall never told us he knew a real life Gypsy.

What an amazing life you've had. You could write a dozen books on your experiences.

You know, I'm the Lifestyle Editor of the school paper,

and I'd love to do a spread on you.

"Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves come to Eerie."

Oh, that's a great idea.

And listen, you know, if you need a place to stay...

EDGAR: Yeah, why don't you stay with us? I mean.

TRIPP: Geez, you people are so nice. I'd love to live with you.

It's him! EDGAR: Great, we can use Marshall's room.

MARILYN: We could put Marshall in the basement.

SYNDI: Marshall, what's your problem?

Why didn't you tell us you had such a cool friend?

Yeah, Mars. Why are you keeping your old friend Tripp McConnell a secret?

Well, ah, uhm...

Tripp is going to stay for dinner, of course.

Oh, and then he's going to stay with us for the night.

Heck, he's so interesting, he can stay 'till he's eighteen.

Why don't we go outside a second? I think we need to talk...

Okay, old buddy?

But I'm having such a good time...

MARSHALL: Mom, Dad, Excuse us.

Move here.

Okay. Who are you and what do you want?

Yeah, talk!

Mars, Simon, is that any way to talk to an old friend?

I've never seen you before today. And now you're in here, turning my family

into blithering idiots!

Mars, c'mon, it's not that hard to do.

You want a fat lip? Marshall, take it easy!

All I want you to do is help me with a little problem I'm having.

You see, I'm in love with a wonderful girl...

Look, pal, I think you're trouble. And I don't want anything to do with you.

And I'm for sure not going anywhere near any girl you know.

You understand that?

[CROW CAWING]

Okay, Marshall. But I'll be back.

[SIGHS]

It's too bad your friend couldn't stay with us, Marshall.

Mom, trust me, you do not want him in our house.

[CHUCKLING] That's a strange thing to say about your friend.

That's just it, he's not my friend.

It's like, he, appeared in my life today.

Appeared?

What is he, a ghost? Did he just beam down

from the inner moons of Saturn?

Look.

All of you, do not, under any circumstances let that bozo back in this house

That's an order.

EDGAR: Tripps not a ghost. MARILYN: I miss him.

SYNDI: Me too.

[WATER RUNNING]

MARILYN: Mars, are you okay? Mom.

It's... him, it's Tripp.

Thank goodness! Where is he?

MARILYN: Hey everybody, Tripp's outside.

EDGAR: Let's go get him. SYNDI: I'll race you dad.

MARSHALL: Where are you guys going? Get back here!

MARSHALL: That night I had another one of my weird dreams.

I think it had something to do with not wanting to grow up.

Still, I was kinda enjoying the dream.

[SQUEAKING]

[CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[CAWING]

[MUFFLED GIGGLING]

* Marshall and Andrea Sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G *

[SHE CONTINUES SINGING] [CYCLE BELLS RING]

[CLOWN LAUGHTER]

[SHE CONTINUES SINGING]

[SIMON LAUGHING]

[SHE CONTINUES SINGING] [CYCLE BELLS RING]

Then something happened that never happened to me in any dream I've ever had before.

Hey Mars.

Cool dream.

What are you doing here?

This is my dream. You're not supposed to be in my dream.

I said I'd be back.

Gotta wake up. Gotta wake up.

Not yet. Not until I tell you what you have to do for me.

Mom, Dad, Syndi, tell him to leave me alone.

ALL THREE: But we love Tripp.

We love him more than we love you.

[CYCLE BELLS RING]

Simon, help.

I just hate being second banana on this show.

What show?

Mars, today at the World O' Stuff you found a letter.

I once tried to mail that letter and I couldn't.

Since you're the one who found that letter, your the one who's to deliver it in person.

But I don't have your letter!

Sure you do. When you wake up look at your night stand.

[ALARM BUZZING]

Wow. What a nightmare.

SIMON: Mars, even for you, that's a weird story.

Don't believe it, I don't care,

I'm telling you this guy entered my dream last night.

It's like he got into my mind, Simon.

If delivering this letter will get rid of him, I'll do it.

Why doesn't he do it himself?

Why does he wear those goofy golf pants and have that dweeb haircut?

I don't know?

SIMON: This is it. Why don't we just leave it here?

No can't do.

I have to deliver it in person, and Mary Carter has to read it.

Can I help you? Yes, are you Mary Carter?

Yeah.

[SIGHS] This has caused me so much trouble, I can't even tell you.

Here.

I don't know what's in it, but I hope it brings you a long and happy life. Adios.

Yes! I'm a free man!

Oh, wait a minute. This is for Mary B. Carter. I'm Mary C. Carter.

C'mon. You must want my aunt.

MARSHALL: As we walked deeper and deeper into that musty old house...

I kept asking myself, "Marshall, why are you such a bone-head?"

MARY JR: Auntie? There are two young men here.

One of them says he has a letter for you.

Hi. I'm Marshall. This is Simon.

A letter? Don't make me laugh.

I haven't had a letter since the dawn of the last Ice Age.

Yes, ma'am, the letter's from Tripp McConnell.

Did you say Tripp McConnell?

Yes, ma'am. Here.

You take that piece of paper out of my sight.

You dirty lice-infected little rug-rat. You think this is funny?

I'm gonna pound you into mush!

But what did I do?

Tripp McConnell should have been my husband!

But Tripp McConnel's been dead for sixty-two years!

BOTH: He's a ghost!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[SOBBING]

MARSHALL: As soon as we found out that Tripp McConnel was a ghost,

Simon and I jumped into action.

SIMON: I thought garlic was for vampires.

Ghosts, vampires, whatever. We can't be too careful.

I don't get something. Why is he haunting you?

It all has something to do with the letter I found.

When I opened it, I must've disturbed his rest.

It was like letting a genie out of a bottle or something.

Cool.

Yeah, would be if he wasn't so evil.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Begone ghost! Go away demon of hell!

Don't be a jerk, Marshall, that's for vampires.

What's wrong? Never seen a ghost before?

[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]

Now, what about my letter.

I've already delivered your stupid letter and Mary Carter didn't want it. Okay?

She didn't?

If I were you, I'd give up on this.

She's an old woman, Tripp, she's not the girl you used to know. You're kinda, like, too late.

Mary doesn't want me?

[SNIFFLES]

[WIND HOWLING]

[TRIPP SOBBING]

MARSHALL: Enough already.

Cut it out, look what you're doing to my house!

I'm sorry.

Lets face it, I'm a walking disaster area.

Even the way I died was stupid.

TRIPP: I was killed in 1929.

I'd been in love with Mary since the second I saw her.

I was so shy. I couldn't bring myself to tell her.

So I wrote her a letter instead.

I was on my way to deliver it. But I was so in love, I didn't look where I was going.

I didn't see that milk truck turning the corner.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

You see,

I'm not allowed to go past the spot where I was killed.

I can't walk across the street to Mary's house.

But you can.

Please, you have to do this.

I've been waiting for sixty-two years.

Once that letter gets delivered, I can rest.

Oh man, why do these things happen to me?

MARSHALL: That night, Simon and I put Operation Love Sick into effect.

It was a two-pronged attack.

MARSHALL: Okay, you get the door.

Can I help you?

My name is Matt, how are you?

I am conducting a survey in your neighborhood.

Would you mind answering a few questions? Thank you.

Yeah, I guess so.

Do you mind if I...

Do you mind if I start over again?

This time don't say anything.

Haven't I seen you before?

MARSHALL: I really didn't want to do this.

But I guess there are some things you gotta risk your neck for.

And I guess love is one of them.

[FLOORBOARD CREAKING]

Who's there?

I have perfect hearing. I also have a gun!

[WHISPERING] A gun?

You, stop right there.

Ah, you again?

Please, ma'am, you gotta listen to me. I don't want to be doing this.

Stay right there, while I call the police.

Tripp wrote this the day he was killed.

He died delivering this letter, ma'am.

Don't you even wanna hear what it says?

"Dearest Mary, love of my life,

"In this short letter it will never be possible

"to say how much I love you.

"There isn't a single dictionary in the world that describes the love I have for you."

Hello, now. Is this the Eerie police?

"Please let me give you a lifetime of love and happiness.

"Let me keep away everything that is rough or mean or ugly from you.

"If this poor letter means anything to you,

"meet me at the World O' Stuff tomorrow night, November 10th, 1929."

Never mind.

"Your devoted admirer, forever and ever, Tripp McConnel."

[AMUSED GIGGLE]

He was always so corny.

All these years...

Today is November 10th. Time to go for it.

MARSHALL: Okay. Be careful.

MARY: I can't believe I'm doing this.

You gotta be kidding?

[MARY GIGGLING]

Yo, Tripp! Are you here?

Give me a break.

First I can't get rid of him. Now he won't appear.

Tripp, where are you?

Oh, I get it.

He's expecting a pretty 13 year old girl.

All he's getting is a faded old bat.

Well. I'm outta here.

[ELECTRICITY STATIC]

[WIND BLOWING AND CLATTERING]

Tripp.

Oh Tripp.

I was thinking of not showing up.

I'm kinda nervous, Mary.

Oh, Tripp. You look great. How have you been?

Well, I've been kinda dead, Mary.

Oh, of course.

And you?

Kinda old, I guess.

But still beautiful.

Did you ever... you know, get married?

Six times.

Six times? Mary...

[CHUCKLES]

None of them worked out.

They just weren't you.

Geez, it's good to see you again, Mary.

Oh, it is.

Maybe we should get outta here.

MARSHALL: The next day, everything seemed to be normal.

Even that weird spell Tripp put over my family was gone.

I just don't understand it. Why does my cereal taste like garlic?

That is so strange. [SNIFFS]

All my clothes smell like garlic too. I just don't understand.

Me? Did I do something?

You were on vampire patrol last night, weren't you?

That's why the whole house smells like garlic.

[SHEEPISH CHUCKLE] I don't know what you're talking about.

Marshall, you gotta come quick! Something happened at the World O' Stuff!

[AMBULANCE DOOR SHUTS]

What happened?

Her heart must have just given up.

Almost got 'em.

Look.

Marshall, now's your chance.

Nah, forget about it.

[SIMON SNORTS]

TRIPP: Go for it, Mars.

Hello, what are you doing up there?

It wasn't me. It was this ghost.

Hi. [CHUCKLES]

MARSHALL: I was pretty nervous.

But Tripp and Mary had taught me what happens to people who wait too long.

I didn't want it to happen to me.

Hi. I'm Marshall.

I'm Andrea.

MARSHALL: Simon and I did pretty good.

A nice young couple was re-united.

Sure they'd to die to do it.

But, better late then never, right?

And a letter written 62 years ago finally got delivered.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]