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1
00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:44,209
Da-la da-la da daa
2
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:49,041
After a long hike like that,
I'm ready to pitch camp and hit the sack !
3
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:55,518
- I can still see the bus stop from here !
- This looks like a good spot ! A natural...
4
00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:59,180
- Shit hole !
- Yeah, shit... No, no, no !
5
00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:03,796
A natural hollow in the lee of the wind.
Fresh water supply.
6
00:01:03,963 --> 00:01:08,093
The wind coming from... Cor ! Dear, oh, dear !
7
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:12,204
You'd think people would have more control
over their dogs ! Look at that !
8
00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:17,803
It must've been a Great Dane !
We can't camp here ! We're not French !
9
00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:23,313
Hi-de-ho, on we go ! No rest for the hygienic !
Dear, oh, dear, who'd be English ?
10
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:28,787
Yeah, this is much better here !
A much more likely spot !
11
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,784
- This is great, isn't it ?
- What ?
12
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,427
- This !
- No.
13
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:42,132
You poor, sad, deformed urban pustule.
This is real life !
14
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,703
Nature, struggle, destiny !
Where's your romance ?
15
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:51,504
She works in Sketchley's on Saturday.
I should be going out with her tonight.
16
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:55,114
That's a point.
I can get to the chemist before they shut.
17
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:58,910
Stay where you are, Judas !
Where's your sense of adventure ?
18
00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:03,249
- Now, SHE'S in Chiswick !
- No, I mean, where's your SPUNK !
19
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:08,053
No, no, no ! Let's just avoid
that line of questioning, shall we ?
20
00:02:08,228 --> 00:02:12,494
Come on, Eddie, we don't need birds.
21
00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:17,693
Besides, we'll lose that bet with Mad Ken
that we can live rough for a week.
22
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:21,500
We haven't got 50 quid
and I'd rather hang on to my kneecaps !
23
00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:23,970
A week ?!
24
00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:29,448
Ah... I was hoping to break that to you
at a more opportune moment.
25
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,607
A bloody week ?!
26
00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:36,221
I wasn't the one who bet him
he couldn't stick a dart in his temple !
27
00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:41,983
- Having done that, he had us over a barrel !
- I only have enough underwear for tonight !
28
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,393
- That's all you've ever had !
- That's true.
29
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:50,867
We're stuck with it, so stop moaning !
Let's get the tent up.
30
00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:55,030
- Alexander the Great never had this problem.
- HE wasn't a complete dickhead !
31
00:02:55,942 --> 00:03:03,075
Right, that's it, that's it ! Yes ! I've been doing
evening classes in jujitsu, you know !
32
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:07,852
You should've done 'em in Hammersmith
and saved money on the bus fares !
33
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,994
What great mates we are !
34
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:23,332
Jujitsu, Hammersmith - marvellous !
Come on, let's get the tent right up !
35
00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:37,310
Right, well, that's the toilet tent.
Where do we sleep ?
36
00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:43,786
Ha-ha-ha I'm about to blow my trousers off
in merriment at Eddie's sarcasm
37
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:48,724
- You mean that's the whole tent ?
- Eddie, this isn't just a tent.
38
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:53,628
This is a World-Ranger Storm-Buster 4.
You can go anywhere in that.
39
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:58,601
- We will as soon as the breeze gets up.
- Hey, don't knock it.
40
00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:05,142
- You'll be glad of this when the bomb drops.
- You think that'll withstand a nuclear blast ?
41
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:08,678
Well, you'll be sleeping in it tonight,
so we'll find out !
42
00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:14,884
- Wait a minute. We're both gonna sleep in this ?
- Yes.
43
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:22,961
- We'll be very close, won't we ?
- Our sleeping bags will keep us... respectable.
44
00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:28,260
What's this all about ? The last thing
I remember was ordering two pints of mild.
45
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:32,033
- I've got my sleeping bag.
- Where's mine ?!
46
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:37,336
- The last I heard, she was in Chiswick !
- So there's only one sleeping bag ?
47
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:41,412
- It would appear so, yes.
- Oh, I get it.
48
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:46,109
I'm not trying to trick you
into a nudie sauce romp, believe me !
49
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:51,417
- I'd rather stick my genitals in a bees' nest.
- Kinky.
50
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:57,594
- How am I kinky ?
- You wanna stick your genitals in a bees' nest.
51
00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:02,098
No, I don't. That's the whole point.
It's sarcasm, it's...
52
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:07,763
The point is that, though sticking one's genitals
in a bees' nest is stupendously un-nice,
53
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:12,536
it's preferable to having
a squidgy sleeping bag session with you !
54
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:17,274
Can we just get our equipment out ?
I mean, get our tackle out !
55
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:20,044
No, I mean get our gear... Oh, God !
56
00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:24,212
You can't say anything without some
double entendre lurking around the corner !
57
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:28,019
Shall we just unpack and get dinner
on the go ? All right ?
58
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,758
I bet you forgot the tin opener !
I despair, I really do !
59
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:38,393
I give you one little obligation
and what do you do ? You forget it !
60
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:44,407
Well, that's where you're wrong
because - ha ha ha ha-ha - here it is !
61
00:05:45,111 --> 00:05:49,810
- Right, where are the tins ?
- Shit ! Shit !
62
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:55,545
You stupid bastard ! Why did you make me
forget them ? We're gonna starve to death !
63
00:05:55,722 --> 00:06:01,854
- We are going to starve to death !
- I've got a packet of Chocolate Hobnobs.
64
00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:05,355
Oh, thank God !
65
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:09,968
- Oh, Eddie, we're saved !
- What do you mean, "we" ?
66
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:14,937
- I'm all right. I don't fancy your chances.
- Oh, have a heart, Eddie.
67
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,338
It's your old pal - Richie.
68
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:19,740
Exactly ! Bugger off !
69
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,084
Right... Eddie ? Eddie ?
70
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:47,291
What was that film where they ate each other ?
71
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,197
"Deep Throat", wasn't it ?
72
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,668
Yeah, that's right.
73
00:07:58,778 --> 00:08:01,042
Great, wasn't it ?
74
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:05,575
- Anyway, back to the question of food.
- Oh, yeah.
75
00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:10,279
- Hang on, this is Wimbledon Common, isn't it ?
- Ye-es.
76
00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:13,857
Hey... I wonder how much meat
you get on a Womble.
77
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:22,360
- Eddie, Wombles don't exist.
- Yes, they do. I've seem them on the telly.
78
00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:27,599
Would it scar you for life
if I told you they were just puppets ?
79
00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:31,937
- Yes, it would.
- Good. Eddie, they were just puppets !
80
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:34,909
- Well, what's THAT, then ?
- Ahhh !
81
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:40,348
- Eddie, that is a hedgehog.
- No, it's not. That is Great Uncle Bulgaria.
82
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:46,315
Then the series has taken a sad turn
for the worse, 'cause he's in the nude !
83
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:49,985
Ohhh, the Wombles have gone X-rated !
84
00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:55,031
Pop your insane leaking brain back in its
sponge bag for an instant and concentrate.
85
00:08:56,035 --> 00:09:00,369
Womble or not... THAT is our supper.
86
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,874
- It'll be a bit spiky, won't it ?
- Red Indians eat them.
87
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:08,673
Is that why they run around going "Owww !" ?
88
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:14,518
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie... you're so soi-disant.
89
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:19,290
Red Native Americans
do not run around going "Waaaaah !"
90
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:23,584
Ridiculous ! They run around going "How !"
91
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:28,393
They run around going, "How the bloody hell
can we eat that spiky hedgehog ?"
92
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:34,037
No, they say, "How lovely that spiky
hedgehog meal was, Mrs Sitting Bull.
93
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:37,869
"We must do the same next Tuesday.
How's Roger's prep school ?"
94
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:42,777
- What the bloody hell are you talking about ?!
- It's a different social strata.
95
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,474
Now... how are we gonna kill it ?
96
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:48,381
Well, you could bore it to death.
97
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:52,921
Righto. No ! Hmm...
98
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:58,257
It's all academic now. He's buggered off.
Oh, no, there he is - in the thicket !
99
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,456
This is it ! Er... OK, right.
100
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:04,364
I know ! Let's entice him out
with a Chocolate Hobnob !
101
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:10,066
Great idea ! Then, when he's out in the open,
we'll surround him and finish him off !
102
00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:14,679
We need to gather some sticks and lash them
together to fashion some sort of rifle !
103
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:20,375
- I wonder what the pygmies do.
- They say, "Crikey, isn't everything big ?"
104
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:25,085
It's no wonder they're dying out, then.
Ohh, hang on !
105
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,156
I've got my darts...
106
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:31,896
...and we could use this as a blowpipe !
107
00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:35,830
Oh, yes ! Oh, Eddie, yes !
Darts and a blowpipe ! Very rainforest !
108
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:39,432
I wish Sting was here to see this.
109
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:42,472
Right, here we go.
110
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:48,012
If we're going to do this properly, we have
to have some proper Amazon Indian names.
111
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:52,674
- Come on ! Before he goes off to meet Orinoco !
- Shut up, Eddie ! This is important.
112
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:59,519
It's gotta be eagle-y with a dash of running dog
and a hint of being attractive to women.
113
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:02,183
Hmm... what about Neville ?
114
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:10,829
That is brilliant ! Running Neville ! No, no !
Sitting Neville ! No, no, Squatting Neville !
115
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:14,973
- Come on, he's getting away !
- All right, don't hustle me !
116
00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:19,737
- I don't like it, but we'll go with Pocahontas.
- All right, Hoggatipunctus, entice him out.
117
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:24,781
- Right ! Hey, don't forget to make the noise.
- Arrrghhhhhhhhhhh !
118
00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:27,877
He's buggered off.
119
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:31,217
- No, there he is ! By that tree !
- Right, let's go !
120
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:34,450
Do you think we should do this
in our underpants ?
121
00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:41,366
It'll be really Indiany. We could get hankies
and put them down the front and back like flaps...
122
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:45,633
Stupid idea, isn't it ? We haven't got any hankies.
123
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:49,400
Hang on ! We could use some pages
from the "Evening Standard" !
124
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:54,342
A big flap down the front and back !
We'll get our biros out and doodle on our nip...
125
00:11:56,315 --> 00:12:00,251
Well, take your point. It's a bit chilly, isn't it ?
126
00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,216
Right, then... Ahem !...let's hunt.
127
00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:07,751
Mrs Tiggywinkle... Mrs Tiggywinkle !
128
00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:09,952
It's not working. Ah !
129
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:15,431
Mr Tiggywinkle ! Yum yum !
Eddie, he's broken cover ! Let him have it !
130
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,931
- Did I get him ?
- No, you missed.
131
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:22,870
- Damn !
- Eddie, old chum.
132
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:27,945
- Yes, me old mate ?
- Pull this dart out the back of my head.
133
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:30,173
Blimey, how did that get there ?
134
00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:33,477
I've no idea. Hurry. I'm losing my eyesight.
135
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,734
- Richie...
- Mm ?
136
00:12:51,904 --> 00:12:54,270
You've put the fire out now.
137
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,273
Eddie, there's a fish in there !
138
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,041
There he is ! Let him have it !
139
00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:08,585
- Go and get him.
- No, I'll just hang around on the shore.
140
00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:14,488
- Oh, come on, he's only a fish.
- Yes, but my hand is attached to this boulder.
141
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:34,335
- Right... give me the blowpipe.
- Yep. I'm very sorry, Richie.
142
00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:36,572
- Give me the dart.
- Here you go.
143
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,580
Right.
144
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,345
- Go and stand over there.
- Fair enough.
145
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,456
- Slap me !
- Beg your pardon ?
146
00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:56,567
- Slap me !
- Oh ! I like this game !
147
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,208
You've got a dart in there. Did you know that ?
148
00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:09,075
- You have got a dart in there !
- Get it out !
149
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,279
I beg your pardon ?
150
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:15,983
Get it out !
151
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:20,785
- Kinky !
- The dart !
152
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:40,342
I don't think we're really cut out
for this dart-blowing business.
153
00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:43,709
The only thing that's eaten anything
is the bloody hedgehog.
154
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:47,683
There's only one Hobnob left.
That's 27 Hobnobs he's had.
155
00:14:47,853 --> 00:14:51,220
No wonder he shits like a Great Dane !
156
00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:57,455
- Hey, why don't we have a go at that fish ?
- But we haven't got a rod !
157
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:01,031
Let's use your vest as a net !
158
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:04,795
- Would I have to be in it ?
- Give us the vest.
159
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:15,911
Right, get the stove nice and hot.
Stand back, Moby, here I come !
160
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:28,158
- Have you caught anything yet ?
- Yes, I probably have caught something.
161
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:32,826
It's quite a love nest round here, you know.
162
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,616
Oh, look, great ! Eddie, I've landed one !
163
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,185
She is a beauty !
164
00:15:55,354 --> 00:16:02,021
- Nice one, Richie !
- Look at her ! She must be THAT big !
165
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:08,360
Quite the little battler, yeah.
I'm... afraid we lost the net in the conflict.
166
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:14,298
- You mean my vest is in the pond.
- Is the stove lit yet ?
167
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:16,338
Half.
168
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,671
- Half ?
- Yeah. Have you seen the matches ?
169
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:23,281
- No. You could try rubbing a stick together.
- Hmm.
170
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:26,009
It's a tad more urgent than that.
171
00:16:27,686 --> 00:16:33,181
Oh, all right, all right, you can use my briquette.
172
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:36,453
Don't keep your finger pressed down
longer than a second !
173
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:48,267
- The stove's lit.
- Nice one.
174
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,466
Let's get Moby under the grill. I'm famished.
175
00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,683
Is it done, then ?
176
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:09,919
I think so. They don't take long, do they ?
177
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:14,589
We just eat it straight off the ground ?
Is that safe ?
178
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:18,794
You and your hygiene ! We're in the countryside.
We've got everything we need.
179
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:22,429
We'll wash it in the lake -
fresh mountain stream.
180
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:25,202
It'll be lovely !
181
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:28,710
You pick it up. It's a bit near the dog shit.
182
00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,616
Lost a bit.
183
00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:50,196
- Which end's the head, do you think ?
- Give it to country boy. I'll divide it up.
184
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:54,738
It's bound to be one end or the other.
Er... there ! Heads or tails ?
185
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:59,037
We can't do that. I'll have the black bit,
you have the flaky bit.
186
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,846
Good health !
187
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:13,221
That was disgusting !
188
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:18,391
- You not eating yours, Eddie ?
- No, I'm keeping it.
189
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:21,294
What for ?
190
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:24,698
- Evidence.
- Come on, you've got to get some nutrition.
191
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:29,671
I'm all right. I've got half a bottle of Scotch.
I know whose side I'm on.
192
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:33,938
Yes ! Let's get boozy and sit around
the fire singing dirty rugby songs !
193
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:37,776
Yeah ! Right... here we go !
194
00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:42,618
Oh, well. First shot to me.
195
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:56,033
- There you go.
- All right.
196
00:18:56,201 --> 00:18:58,601
Oh, I'm going crazy !
197
00:18:58,770 --> 00:19:02,103
OK, dirty rugby songs ! Let's go ! Er...
198
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,468
Twinkle, twinkle, little...
199
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:09,307
Oh, it's not very dirty,
that one, is it ? Eddie ? Oh, Eddie !
200
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:14,441
Oh, Eddie, don't pass out already !
You'll miss out on all the fun.
201
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,919
- What fun ?
- Yes, I suppose that's a point.
202
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:22,026
When you come to think of it,
nothing much happens in the country.
203
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:43,708
You wonder why they do it, really, don't you ?
I mean... with something as small as that.
204
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:46,612
Mine's bigger than that and mine's tiny !
205
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:51,117
Ish. Tiny-ish.
206
00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:57,818
Oh, well... time for bed.
207
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,163
It's only 5.30.
208
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:06,396
This is the country. You know what they say -
"A cuckoo in May, oo-arr, oo-arr-eyy !"
209
00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:11,900
Right, well...
210
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,170
Here we are, Edward.
211
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:18,783
Are you sure you didn't sneak a peek
at my underpants ?
212
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:22,819
Absolutely, Richie. I give you my word of honour.
213
00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:28,187
I didn't get even the slightest glimpse
of your gaudily-stained love blob containers.
214
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:33,525
All right. Good. Well, nighty-night, then.
215
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:45,868
What do you normally do when you go to bed ?
216
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:51,212
- I normally have a bit of a kip.
- You're so concise.
217
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:55,285
- I mean, what's your going-to-bed routine ?
- Ah, routine.
218
00:20:55,454 --> 00:21:00,619
Well, I normally get into bed...
and then I have a bit of a kip.
219
00:21:02,828 --> 00:21:05,319
I wonder what's on telly right now.
220
00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:10,359
Probably missing "Emmerdale Farm".
221
00:21:10,535 --> 00:21:15,302
Matt'll have his arm up some cow's
backside by now. Lucky bugger !
222
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:20,672
We'll miss the "Late Show", of course.
223
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:24,839
Cor ! That bird in the red specs !
224
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:29,514
Are you carrying a torch for her ?
225
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:35,455
- No, it's just the way my trousers rucked up.
- Oh... oh.
226
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,066
What are you reading, Eddie ?
227
00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:45,294
I dunno. I'm too drunk to focus.
228
00:21:46,738 --> 00:21:48,603
I'm bored now.
229
00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:55,639
- Ever been hang-gliding, Eddie ?
- Nope.
230
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:58,009
No, nor me.
231
00:21:58,183 --> 00:22:00,344
Well, that's exhausted that one.
232
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:06,788
- I can't think of anything else to talk about.
- Night-night, then !
233
00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:13,363
Yes, I suppose so. Night-night, sleep tight.
Hope the bed bugs do not bite.
234
00:22:13,532 --> 00:22:17,468
If they do, do a poo, put it in a Cornish stew !
235
00:22:18,470 --> 00:22:21,997
Into the ambulance, dring, dring, dring !
Fish, trousers, elephant in Peking !
236
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:27,305
Saw a busy bee, diddle-diddle-dee ! Daddy's an
accountant just me like ! Night-night. God bless.
237
00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:32,780
I'm still not asleep, you know.
238
00:22:34,586 --> 00:22:40,115
You know, I think it's this sleeping bag.
It's letting in a draught.
239
00:22:40,992 --> 00:22:43,517
Oh, my heart bleeds
240
00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:47,256
Come on, Eddie, I'm more sensitive than you are.
241
00:22:47,432 --> 00:22:52,369
Do us a favour, old pal. Grab my drawstring
and give it a bloody good yank.
242
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:56,700
- I beg your pardon ?
- Here, here.
243
00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:03,308
OK, fine, fine ! Good.
244
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:07,509
Ah, right. Night-night, then.
245
00:23:07,686 --> 00:23:12,714
No, no, no !
Put the light out, Eddie, would you ?
246
00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:25,160
I can't get out. I'll have to do it myself.
247
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:32,105
Oh, oh !
248
00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:39,216
Oh, God, who'd be me ?
249
00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:41,978
Night-night, then, world.
250
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:57,497
Eddie ! Eddie !
251
00:23:57,669 --> 00:24:00,331
There's someone outside doing owl impressions !
252
00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:06,977
Not very good ones either. Eddie ?
253
00:24:10,148 --> 00:24:12,616
- Ahhhhhhh !
- No, Eddie, no !
254
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:22,654
- What are you doing that for ? I was dreaming.
- It sounded harrowing.
255
00:24:22,828 --> 00:24:27,663
No, I was in bed with Kim Basinger.
It was fantastic !
256
00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:31,166
Let's get back to sleep very quickly !
257
00:24:33,438 --> 00:24:38,205
- Where the bloody hell am I ?
- Calm down, you're in a tent.
258
00:24:38,376 --> 00:24:43,336
- Eddie, I think there's something outside.
- Yeah.
259
00:24:43,515 --> 00:24:46,575
There's bound to be something outside.
260
00:24:46,751 --> 00:24:49,515
You can't expect the entire universe
261
00:24:49,688 --> 00:24:53,784
to be contained within the confines
of a small canvas tent.
262
00:24:54,993 --> 00:25:00,363
- You're very philosophical for this time of night.
- After all that Scotch, what do you expect ?
263
00:25:00,532 --> 00:25:03,194
- Listen !
264
00:25:03,368 --> 00:25:08,499
I'm serious ! I'm getting a sense of something
magnificently evil, black and foul
265
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:10,834
hanging in the air, waiting to destroy us !
266
00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:14,001
That'll be the fish repeating on you.
267
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:18,411
- There it is again ! What do you think it is ?
268
00:25:18,583 --> 00:25:21,347
A wolf... a bear ?
269
00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:25,652
- Wombles !
- WOMBLES !
270
00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:34,894
Eddie, why don't we bring the fire
inside the tent to ward them off ?
271
00:25:35,066 --> 00:25:38,866
- That'd be a bit dangerous, wouldn't it ?
- No, it's gone out.
272
00:25:39,037 --> 00:25:42,495
- Well, what's the point, then ?
- Oh, yes, silly me.
273
00:25:42,674 --> 00:25:48,135
Hey, hey, hey ! Why don't we light
a small fire inside the tent ?
274
00:25:48,313 --> 00:25:51,077
- All right, just a small one.
- You know me !
275
00:25:51,249 --> 00:25:53,717
- A itsy-bitsy, teeny one.
- Good old Eddie.
276
00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:56,376
Now, where's the paraffin ?
277
00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,284
Here we go.
278
00:25:59,324 --> 00:26:01,815
Don't drink it ! We need that !
279
00:26:04,329 --> 00:26:08,629
- Stand well back.
- I can't get out of this bloody sleeping bag !
280
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,961
- Here we go.
- No, change of plan !
281
00:26:14,272 --> 00:26:17,730
Nice one ! That should ward 'em off
282
00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:25,872
Eddie, look ! Help me get out of this sleeping bag !
283
00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:28,915
There's no time !
284
00:26:36,027 --> 00:26:37,790
No, no !
285
00:26:46,972 --> 00:26:48,337
AHHHHHHHH !
286
00:26:57,916 --> 00:27:02,751
Right, well, that's about it for me. I'm off.
287
00:27:06,825 --> 00:27:09,953
- Are you not coming ?
- I can't move, can I ?
288
00:27:10,996 --> 00:27:13,157
That's a point.
289
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:16,293
Eddie... no !
25885
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