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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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Welcome to Spontaneous Travel.
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How may I assist you?
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I have an overnight
delivery for an Amy Tyler.
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Oh, that'll be the
productivity pod on your left.
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- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
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Start-ups.
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Have a spontaneous day!
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00:02:01,367 --> 00:02:02,699
Yes, sir, I can imagine
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00:02:02,701 --> 00:02:04,631
it's not very fun in Syria right now,
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but traveler's insurance does
not cover political unrest.
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Amy Tyler?
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Can you hold on a mo-mo?
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Can I help you?
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Yeah, urgent for Amy Tyler?
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I'll sign.
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Amy, it's here!
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Just in time.
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If I'm not careful, you could replace me.
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Oh, I could never be a ginger. Here.
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Oh!
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Robert, you are a life saver.
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Okay, my turn. The
Wainwrights are in Sweden?
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You mean Syria?
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00:02:37,261 --> 00:02:38,359
That, and then there's also a thingy.
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00:02:38,361 --> 00:02:39,760
A military coup?
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00:02:39,763 --> 00:02:41,326
I don't know, listening
is not really my thing.
28
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What about reading or watching the news?
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00:02:42,461 --> 00:02:43,692
Oh, gross.
30
00:02:43,694 --> 00:02:45,792
Get Phillipe at Hotel Plaka on the line.
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I'll take care of the rest.
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That's why you're gonna
own this place someday.
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00:02:49,327 --> 00:02:51,391
No, that's why I'll
sell this place someday.
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00:02:51,393 --> 00:02:55,090
Mr. Wainwright, it's Amy
from Spontaneous Travel.
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I understand you're having a
once-in-a-lifetime experience.
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00:02:58,557 --> 00:03:01,491
Let's see if we can't
find you a better one.
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00:03:01,493 --> 00:03:04,789
Yes, sir, I'm looking at
a direct flight to Athens
38
00:03:04,791 --> 00:03:06,622
that leaves in two hours,
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00:03:06,624 --> 00:03:09,255
and we will transfer your
hotel reservation at no charge.
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00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:10,654
I've got Phillipe on the other line,
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00:03:10,656 --> 00:03:12,454
who will take great care of you.
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00:03:12,456 --> 00:03:14,721
Direct Message me if you
need anything after hours.
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00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:18,153
No, thank you for choosing
Spontaneous Travel,
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00:03:18,155 --> 00:03:19,488
where we plan...
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...for you to improvise.
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You have every luxury hotel on speed dial,
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and I'm shooting my videos
in an active coffee shop.
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Vanilla hemp latte for Sandra!
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Right here!
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You don't spend three
years making travel videos
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00:03:30,652 --> 00:03:32,450
in Europe without getting
to know a few hotel managers.
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00:03:32,452 --> 00:03:35,383
Yeah, and you don't create
a start-up travel agency.
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Global Concierge.
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00:03:36,786 --> 00:03:38,484
Ugh, global concierge,
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without it being more than a few.
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All I'm saying is you could hook a girl up.
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Wait, is that why you called?
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- No!
- No.
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We wanna know if it came.
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00:03:47,084 --> 00:03:49,616
You mean, this?
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00:03:49,618 --> 00:03:51,316
Aaah!
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Yay, what are we celebrating?
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00:03:53,283 --> 00:03:55,281
Take a bow, Robert.
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00:03:55,283 --> 00:03:58,614
I'd like to thank the Academy
and my husband, Anderson Cooper.
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00:03:58,616 --> 00:04:00,780
I still can't believe you got
a passport in less than a week.
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00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,714
Who knew the Department
of State was on Grindr?
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00:04:02,716 --> 00:04:04,079
Ding-ding goes the trolley.
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00:04:04,081 --> 00:04:05,579
That makes so much sense.
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00:04:05,581 --> 00:04:07,380
And Josh still has no idea?
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00:04:07,382 --> 00:04:10,013
Nope! I cleared the dates with his firm,
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00:04:10,015 --> 00:04:12,178
booked the flights, even
double-dipped on a few discounts
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because we have different last names.
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I planned it perfectly.
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Except, you forgot to check
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if your boyfriend's passport had expired.
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That's why I have Robert.
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00:04:20,546 --> 00:04:22,542
Did you confirm the
Wainwrights' Athens flight?
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00:04:22,544 --> 00:04:24,075
Oh, Ames, that's so five minutes ago.
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I even got them a Groupon
for the Aeropostale.
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00:04:26,177 --> 00:04:27,475
You mean the Acropolis, right?
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Your trip with Josh is gonna be so amazing!
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It's gonna be perfect, Amy.
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You could just chill
out and focus on seeing
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all your favorite places in the world.
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With your favorite man in the world!
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Barf!
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That sounds so cheesy,
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but so amazing that I don't care!
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And Josh has always talked about proposing
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in front of that fountain
where his grandparents met.
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I told you about that?
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Only ten times.
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00:04:50,007 --> 00:04:51,572
I hope he can just take the hint.
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00:04:51,574 --> 00:04:53,571
- Men can be so oblivious.
- You're telling me.
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00:04:53,573 --> 00:04:56,104
I reminded him about dinner
tonight, and he tried to pretend
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he had something really important planned,
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but I am pretty sure he just forgot.
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Or maybe he's planning a
little surprise of his own.
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00:05:02,472 --> 00:05:04,371
No.
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00:05:04,373 --> 00:05:06,170
You think?
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00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:08,235
Oh, but he knows I hate surprises.
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00:05:08,238 --> 00:05:10,470
Honey, you've cashed
in thousands of dollars
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and dozens of favors for this trip.
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In a month, I better see
two carats, or a new man.
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Oh, my gosh, I'd love to plan your wedding.
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- Ew, no!
- Absolutely not!
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All right, all right, all right.
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Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
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Right now, I just have to focus
on getting to dinner on time.
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You mean five minutes ago?
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Crap, yes. Robert...
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Already Uber-ing.
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Oh, sorry I'm late.
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Oh, um...
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I was just finishing up your surprise.
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Amy Tyler, late for something.
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The apocalypse is nigh.
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For our anniversary, grumpy pants.
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Yeah, Amy, about that, um...
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Can I just tell you what your surprise is?
121
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Well, I think we really need to...
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And I cannot keep a secret so...
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Amy! Just...
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Yeah, I'm just gonna give you two a minute.
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Amy, you're a great girl,
and we've had a lot of fun...
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But this doesn't sound very fun.
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I just feel like things
are moving too fast.
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00:06:12,127 --> 00:06:13,726
We've been dating for two years.
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00:06:13,728 --> 00:06:15,592
- I know.
- We live together.
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00:06:15,594 --> 00:06:17,157
Exactly.
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I'm just not ready for
this kind of commitment.
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Well... I'm not saying
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we have to get married right now.
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Oh, thank God.
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Great! Good.
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00:06:25,358 --> 00:06:27,457
No, I'm glad we're on
the same page with this,
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because I feel like you're always making
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these big, romantic
gestures and wanting to spend
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all this time and money together.
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And I just don't want to do that anymore.
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So...
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Ahh. Good.
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Whew! Heh.
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Uh, that went much better
than I thought it would.
145
00:06:47,722 --> 00:06:49,590
What did you want to talk about?
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00:06:51,455 --> 00:06:54,318
I booked us a... a two-week trip
to Europe for our anniversary.
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00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,384
What? Are you... Are you crazy?
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I... I can't take two weeks off.
149
00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:00,483
No, I cleared it with your boss.
150
00:07:00,485 --> 00:07:01,719
You talked to Mike behind my back?
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00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,617
That's how a surprise works.
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00:07:03,619 --> 00:07:05,450
What am I gonna do in Europe for two weeks?
153
00:07:05,452 --> 00:07:07,482
You love Europe.
154
00:07:07,484 --> 00:07:09,582
You studied abroad in Amsterdam.
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00:07:09,584 --> 00:07:11,282
We met dancing in Ibiza.
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00:07:11,284 --> 00:07:12,983
You've always wanted to
propose at the fountain
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where your grandparents met.
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00:07:14,284 --> 00:07:16,515
Amy, I told you that
on, like, our third date.
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I thought it was romantic.
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00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:19,581
I thought it would get me laid.
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Just gonna take another
lap around, no rush.
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00:07:24,449 --> 00:07:27,247
Well, I wish I'd known that
before I fell in love with you.
163
00:07:27,249 --> 00:07:29,714
I wish I'd known that
before we moved in together.
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00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,013
And I really wish I'd known that
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before I booked us a non-refundable
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two-week trip to Europe
for our anniversary.
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00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:38,711
Amy, I think a vacation is a great idea.
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00:07:38,714 --> 00:07:40,680
You know, just maybe...
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00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,710
...from each other.
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00:07:45,713 --> 00:07:47,477
Are you breaking up with me?
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00:07:47,479 --> 00:07:48,577
No!
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I mean...
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00:07:50,978 --> 00:07:52,976
if that's what you want.
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00:07:52,978 --> 00:07:54,642
What I want is to be with someone
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who sees a future with me.
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I'm not a fortune teller, Amy.
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00:08:00,743 --> 00:08:03,541
Well, at least I already started packing.
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00:08:03,543 --> 00:08:05,410
Amy, wait.
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00:08:07,076 --> 00:08:09,073
What are you gonna do with that ticket?
180
00:08:09,075 --> 00:08:12,173
So maybe I can get it
exchanged for another time?
181
00:08:12,175 --> 00:08:14,105
I am gonna taze his ass!
182
00:08:14,107 --> 00:08:15,706
Amy, you can stay as long as you need.
183
00:08:15,708 --> 00:08:17,471
Why didn't you make him move out?
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00:08:17,473 --> 00:08:19,073
Eff this, I'm ordering a pizza.
185
00:08:19,075 --> 00:08:21,236
We've earned it. You've
gotta still go, Ames.
186
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:24,005
I would kill to see Turkey!
Literally murder bodies.
187
00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:25,236
The girl just got dumped.
188
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,403
What's she gonna do in Turkey?
189
00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:28,003
Well, we don't know his name yet.
190
00:08:28,005 --> 00:08:29,470
Marcie's right.
191
00:08:29,472 --> 00:08:31,135
I can't go anywhere right now.
192
00:08:31,138 --> 00:08:33,470
I don't even have a place to live.
193
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,736
It was a stupid idea anyway.
194
00:08:35,739 --> 00:08:37,735
Amy, you dropped, like,
thousands on this trip.
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00:08:37,738 --> 00:08:39,001
Of your own money.
196
00:08:39,003 --> 00:08:40,001
At least give me the tickets.
197
00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:41,468
You don't understand.
198
00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:43,133
They're nontransferable.
199
00:08:43,135 --> 00:08:45,268
Our names are on everything.
200
00:08:45,270 --> 00:08:48,634
Plane tickets, hotels, tours,
even dinner reservations.
201
00:08:48,636 --> 00:08:50,233
I can't go without him.
202
00:08:50,235 --> 00:08:53,166
Amy, I am so sorry,
203
00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:54,566
but we're your girls, okay?
204
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,532
- And we're here for you.
- For anything.
205
00:08:56,534 --> 00:08:58,398
Can we do a gluten-free
crust? I'm on a thing.
206
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,732
The next time that Josh
Merit parks anywhere,
207
00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:03,097
I'm gonna be there to turn that meter off
208
00:09:03,099 --> 00:09:04,498
and ticket his ass.
209
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:05,997
Wait, you can do that?
210
00:09:05,999 --> 00:09:07,230
But you have to forget about him, okay?
211
00:09:07,232 --> 00:09:08,596
Forget about this trip.
212
00:09:08,598 --> 00:09:10,296
Maybe that's him!
213
00:09:10,298 --> 00:09:12,397
What part of "take her
damn phone away from her"
214
00:09:12,399 --> 00:09:13,663
did you not understand?
215
00:09:13,665 --> 00:09:15,164
Please, she's too sober to drunk dial.
216
00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:16,628
Bitch, you are not a Breathalyzer.
217
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:18,628
He changed our relationship status.
218
00:09:18,630 --> 00:09:20,096
- What?!
- Ouch.
219
00:09:20,098 --> 00:09:21,461
He listed himself as single,
220
00:09:21,464 --> 00:09:24,197
so now it says I'm single, too.
221
00:09:25,996 --> 00:09:27,227
I guess it's official.
222
00:09:27,229 --> 00:09:28,460
And it wasn't official when he turned down
223
00:09:28,463 --> 00:09:30,160
an all-expenses-paid
vacation?
224
00:09:30,163 --> 00:09:32,259
Yeah, he should have at least
led her on for another two weeks
225
00:09:32,261 --> 00:09:34,160
and gotten a free trip
and vacation sex out of it.
226
00:09:34,163 --> 00:09:35,558
- What?
- Girl, I'm gon...
227
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,192
He changed his profile picture.
228
00:09:37,194 --> 00:09:38,192
Sandra, I need your computer.
229
00:09:38,194 --> 00:09:39,492
No, Amy, calm down.
230
00:09:39,494 --> 00:09:41,124
What if it's with a new girl?
231
00:09:41,126 --> 00:09:42,392
The new picture won't load on my phone.
232
00:09:42,394 --> 00:09:43,425
Girl, take the hint!
233
00:09:43,427 --> 00:09:44,957
Okay! Okay, grabby.
234
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,258
Pizza's on you, then.
235
00:09:46,260 --> 00:09:48,457
Why can't I find him on here?
236
00:09:48,459 --> 00:09:50,325
Did he block me?!
237
00:09:50,327 --> 00:09:51,490
Breathe.
238
00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:52,991
It's logged into my profile.
239
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,157
I am not friends with the A-hole
240
00:09:54,159 --> 00:09:55,324
formally known as your boyfriend.
241
00:09:55,326 --> 00:09:56,990
Okay, just search for him.
242
00:09:56,992 --> 00:09:59,222
And once you're done,
we can go to the club.
243
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:02,156
He changed his picture, so
I can't tell which one he is.
244
00:10:02,158 --> 00:10:05,088
Whoa, there must be at least
a dozen Josh Merits on here.
245
00:10:05,090 --> 00:10:07,120
Okay, I think this one's him.
246
00:10:07,122 --> 00:10:09,386
Okay, see? No new girl.
247
00:10:09,389 --> 00:10:10,954
Just a bunch of
douche-nozzles doing shots.
248
00:10:10,956 --> 00:10:13,088
Wait, no, go back!
249
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,620
No, this is him, Sandra.
250
00:10:14,622 --> 00:10:16,486
We don't need to look at
a bunch of random guys.
251
00:10:16,489 --> 00:10:17,620
Yes, you do!
252
00:10:17,622 --> 00:10:19,052
- Huh?
- What?
253
00:10:19,054 --> 00:10:22,152
You need a new Josh Merit.
254
00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:23,551
Now, I know you're not thinking
255
00:10:23,553 --> 00:10:25,452
what I think you're thinking.
256
00:10:25,454 --> 00:10:27,951
Honestly, this is the
best idea I've ever had.
257
00:10:27,953 --> 00:10:30,384
No, no, no.
258
00:10:30,386 --> 00:10:31,518
Absolutely not!
259
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:32,317
Come on!
260
00:10:32,319 --> 00:10:33,683
The best way to get over one guy
261
00:10:33,685 --> 00:10:35,149
is to get on top of another one.
262
00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:36,450
This one time, it's a good plan.
263
00:10:36,452 --> 00:10:38,049
I mean, think about it.
264
00:10:38,051 --> 00:10:39,616
You've already prepaid for this two-week
265
00:10:39,618 --> 00:10:42,116
dream vacation with a Josh Merit.
266
00:10:42,118 --> 00:10:44,449
You can't change the tickets,
but you can change the guy.
267
00:10:44,451 --> 00:10:46,149
This is ridiculous.
268
00:10:46,151 --> 00:10:47,614
This way, you get to keep your trip,
269
00:10:47,616 --> 00:10:50,515
your plan, and maybe even find a rebound.
270
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,614
You'll never have to worry
about saying the wrong name.
271
00:10:52,616 --> 00:10:55,380
I am not taking a stranger to Europe!
272
00:10:55,382 --> 00:10:57,013
Isn't that what you do for a living?
273
00:10:57,015 --> 00:10:58,414
Well, what if he's a total creep? Hmm?
274
00:10:58,416 --> 00:11:00,113
Or a knife-stabber.
275
00:11:00,115 --> 00:11:02,378
This is the whole reason
that I stopped making videos
276
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:04,513
and dealt with other people's travel.
277
00:11:04,515 --> 00:11:07,411
People are unpredictable.
278
00:11:07,414 --> 00:11:09,045
Like Josh.
279
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,444
Okay.
280
00:11:11,446 --> 00:11:13,109
Do you wanna make a pro and con list?
281
00:11:13,111 --> 00:11:14,143
No.
282
00:11:14,145 --> 00:11:15,343
But you love pro and con lists.
283
00:11:15,345 --> 00:11:17,410
- I do.
- Okay.
284
00:11:17,413 --> 00:11:20,044
You get to relive Amy's Adventures.
285
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,042
I haven't vlogged in years.
286
00:11:22,044 --> 00:11:23,943
- Meet new people!
- I hate people.
287
00:11:23,945 --> 00:11:25,441
Well, we'll run a background check.
288
00:11:25,443 --> 00:11:26,943
Make sure you're safe.
289
00:11:26,945 --> 00:11:28,141
You're a parking enforcement officer.
290
00:11:28,143 --> 00:11:29,474
I still work for the state.
291
00:11:29,476 --> 00:11:31,141
And we can figure out
where these guys hang out
292
00:11:31,143 --> 00:11:32,942
and go window shopping.
293
00:11:32,944 --> 00:11:35,573
I can't just write a
bunch of random men online.
294
00:11:35,575 --> 00:11:37,341
What would I even say?
295
00:11:37,343 --> 00:11:38,705
"Hi, we've never met,
296
00:11:38,707 --> 00:11:40,673
"but you've won a free trip to Europe!
297
00:11:40,675 --> 00:11:42,540
"And also, there's a Nigerian prince
298
00:11:42,542 --> 00:11:44,371
with an exciting financial opportunity."
299
00:11:44,373 --> 00:11:46,339
Who is gonna turn down a free trip?
300
00:11:46,341 --> 00:11:48,539
Better yet, offer them
a deal on the tickets
301
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:50,071
and make some of your money back.
302
00:11:50,073 --> 00:11:51,305
What am I, Living Social?
303
00:11:51,307 --> 00:11:52,570
No, you're "Living Single."
304
00:11:52,572 --> 00:11:54,104
All you have to do
305
00:11:54,106 --> 00:11:56,304
is write a few Josh Merits.
306
00:11:56,306 --> 00:11:57,604
We'll take care of the rest.
307
00:11:57,606 --> 00:11:59,703
Guys, come on.
308
00:11:59,705 --> 00:12:01,135
Do you really expect me
309
00:12:01,138 --> 00:12:03,302
to contact every guy on the Internet
310
00:12:03,304 --> 00:12:04,468
with my ex's name?
311
00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:06,001
No!
312
00:12:06,003 --> 00:12:08,101
Just the cute ones.
313
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,471
I heard that!
314
00:12:13,103 --> 00:12:15,167
- Where do we start?
- Yes!
315
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,567
You don't waste any time.
316
00:12:18,569 --> 00:12:19,999
Yeah, maybe this was a bad idea.
317
00:12:20,001 --> 00:12:21,166
Uh,
d-d-d... no.
318
00:12:21,168 --> 00:12:22,265
- Hold on!
- No, no.
319
00:12:22,267 --> 00:12:23,600
That's him.
320
00:12:23,602 --> 00:12:25,698
- Who?
- Our first Josh Merit.
321
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,599
I posted that I was
looking to book Josh Merit
322
00:12:27,601 --> 00:12:30,131
on my show, the Internet
took care of the rest.
323
00:12:30,133 --> 00:12:31,531
You can find anyone.
324
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:33,231
Except a sponsor for her YouTube channel.
325
00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:34,597
Focus, ladies.
326
00:12:34,599 --> 00:12:36,230
He's a 30-year-old
musician from Tennessee
327
00:12:36,232 --> 00:12:37,530
with a body like Ryan Lochte
328
00:12:37,532 --> 00:12:38,630
and a voice that sounds like rainbows.
329
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:41,064
He is the definition of a rebound,
330
00:12:41,066 --> 00:12:42,361
and he's standing right over there.
331
00:12:42,364 --> 00:12:43,696
Ladies and ladies,
332
00:12:43,698 --> 00:12:46,997
please welcome our first
contestant, Josh Merit.
333
00:12:48,597 --> 00:12:50,528
How old is that photo?
334
00:12:50,530 --> 00:12:52,930
Girl, if you don't go over there, I will.
335
00:12:55,261 --> 00:12:57,160
I... I... I can do it!
336
00:12:57,163 --> 00:12:58,993
OMG! Josh...
337
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,559
- Yeah, Abby?
- I love you.
338
00:13:00,561 --> 00:13:01,694
Yeah.
339
00:13:01,696 --> 00:13:04,158
Are you gonna play "Falling" tonight?
340
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,526
Yeah, I think I can make that happen.
341
00:13:08,159 --> 00:13:09,992
Can we take a picture together?
342
00:13:09,994 --> 00:13:11,125
Can you?
343
00:13:11,127 --> 00:13:12,958
Uh...
344
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,291
On three, say,
345
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,691
"I mistake attention for love."
346
00:13:18,459 --> 00:13:19,990
All right.
347
00:13:19,992 --> 00:13:21,422
I'm your biggest fan.
348
00:13:21,424 --> 00:13:22,423
See you after the show, Josh.
349
00:13:22,425 --> 00:13:23,893
Yeah, okay, thanks.
350
00:13:26,692 --> 00:13:28,254
Sorry about that. Do you...
351
00:13:28,256 --> 00:13:29,622
Did you wanna get a photo?
352
00:13:29,624 --> 00:13:30,988
Oh, God, no, heh.
353
00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:32,453
- I'm sorry.
- No, okay.
354
00:13:32,455 --> 00:13:34,153
It's... it's cool.
355
00:13:34,155 --> 00:13:37,153
I personally prefer to
be heard and not seen.
356
00:13:37,155 --> 00:13:39,453
So how long have you been playing?
357
00:13:39,455 --> 00:13:41,353
Oh, wow, you really did not come here
358
00:13:41,355 --> 00:13:42,619
to hear me play music, did you?
359
00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:45,519
No. I'm sorry.
360
00:13:45,521 --> 00:13:46,920
No, no, don't worry about it.
361
00:13:46,922 --> 00:13:49,452
It's, uh, it's actually refreshing.
362
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:51,151
And who knows?
363
00:13:51,153 --> 00:13:53,151
Maybe Josh Merit can make
a fan out of you tonight.
364
00:13:53,153 --> 00:13:56,117
Yeah, you're gonna have to work really hard
365
00:13:56,119 --> 00:13:59,349
to make me a fan of Josh Merit right now.
366
00:13:59,351 --> 00:14:01,549
You know, um, I'm usually surrounded
367
00:14:01,551 --> 00:14:04,416
by either fans or crazies.
368
00:14:04,418 --> 00:14:07,916
But it's nice to meet,
you know, someone like you.
369
00:14:10,251 --> 00:14:11,615
You know, sometimes I just fantasize
370
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:13,615
about just taking a trip.
371
00:14:13,617 --> 00:14:16,481
You know, just... get away from it all.
372
00:14:16,483 --> 00:14:18,380
Well, it... it's funny
you should mention that
373
00:14:18,382 --> 00:14:20,980
because, um, this is crazy, actually.
374
00:14:20,982 --> 00:14:23,379
This is, like, the weirdest thing
I've ever done in my entire life...
375
00:14:23,381 --> 00:14:24,978
Put your hands together
376
00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:27,513
for the very talented Josh Merit!
377
00:14:27,515 --> 00:14:29,079
That is my cue.
378
00:14:29,081 --> 00:14:32,145
Um, thank you for
accidentally coming tonight.
379
00:14:32,147 --> 00:14:36,077
And whoever you are actually
looking for is a lucky guy.
380
00:14:36,079 --> 00:14:38,211
Come on, San Francisco!
381
00:14:38,214 --> 00:14:40,410
We can do better than that!
382
00:14:44,511 --> 00:14:46,976
Yeah, I didn't get to ask him yet.
383
00:14:46,978 --> 00:14:48,542
- Uh, but he was nice.
- That's good.
384
00:14:48,544 --> 00:14:52,042
...and this is Josh Merit
and the Paper Heart Band.
385
00:14:52,044 --> 00:14:54,141
- He's cute.
- He's really cute.
386
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:59,341
And this first song is
dedicated to a new fan.
387
00:14:59,343 --> 00:15:03,506
She, uh... just might not know it yet.
388
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:09,672
♪ You've got that ♪
389
00:15:09,674 --> 00:15:15,572
♪ You've got that beautiful ♪
390
00:15:15,574 --> 00:15:19,603
♪ Murder face, ah ♪
391
00:15:19,605 --> 00:15:23,270
♪ Murder face ♪
392
00:15:23,272 --> 00:15:28,435
♪ Blood in your eyes and
poison in your smile ♪
393
00:15:28,438 --> 00:15:29,969
♪ Kill! Kill! ♪
394
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:32,434
Dear Josh, you don't know me,
395
00:15:32,436 --> 00:15:36,902
but I am in a weird
situation and need your help.
396
00:15:42,969 --> 00:15:45,966
My ex-boyfriend is also named Josh Merit.
397
00:15:45,968 --> 00:15:47,666
And before we broke up,
398
00:15:47,668 --> 00:15:50,200
I booked a nonrefundable
vacation under his name.
399
00:15:56,966 --> 00:15:59,498
So, I was curious if you'd be interested
400
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,398
in a no-strings-attached,
platonic trip to Europe
401
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,496
for a fraction of the ticket price.
402
00:16:41,158 --> 00:16:43,556
If you're interested and
have a valid passport,
403
00:16:43,558 --> 00:16:45,424
write me back as soon as possible,
404
00:16:45,426 --> 00:16:47,356
and I'll give you more details.
405
00:16:47,358 --> 00:16:49,492
Thanks, Amy.
406
00:16:58,291 --> 00:17:00,121
Ugh, where is he?
407
00:17:00,123 --> 00:17:01,421
I thought you said he'd be here.
408
00:17:01,423 --> 00:17:02,988
This is exhausting.
409
00:17:02,990 --> 00:17:04,888
Now I actually need a vacation.
410
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:06,554
Look, it's been almost a week, Amy.
411
00:17:06,556 --> 00:17:08,286
We're not looking for your soul mate,
412
00:17:08,289 --> 00:17:10,919
just a double to get you
checked into airports and hotels.
413
00:17:10,921 --> 00:17:14,453
Okay, this final candidate is Joshua Merit.
414
00:17:14,455 --> 00:17:16,619
He's originally from Minnesota.
415
00:17:16,621 --> 00:17:18,517
He got his masters at UCLA,
416
00:17:18,519 --> 00:17:21,217
taught kindergarten until last
week with the state cutbacks,
417
00:17:21,219 --> 00:17:24,050
has no criminal record
and type O positive blood.
418
00:17:24,052 --> 00:17:25,283
Well, that's a deal breaker.
419
00:17:25,285 --> 00:17:26,949
You know she likes her men type A.
420
00:17:26,951 --> 00:17:29,082
How do you find all this information?
421
00:17:29,084 --> 00:17:30,149
You can find anything on the Internet.
422
00:17:30,151 --> 00:17:31,149
Really? How big is his...
423
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,983
Stop! I swear you guys
424
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,148
are more invested in
my love life than I am.
425
00:17:35,150 --> 00:17:37,319
Wait, I think that's him!
426
00:17:39,384 --> 00:17:41,481
He looks so sad.
427
00:17:41,483 --> 00:17:42,947
Well, he did just lose his job.
428
00:17:42,949 --> 00:17:44,580
And he drives a scooter.
429
00:17:44,582 --> 00:17:46,614
I can't really tell what he looks like.
430
00:17:46,616 --> 00:17:48,214
Well, all I can tell from here is he's got
431
00:17:48,216 --> 00:17:51,013
the buttocks of a thoroughbred stallion.
432
00:17:51,015 --> 00:17:52,013
Wait, he's looking over here!
433
00:17:52,015 --> 00:17:53,446
Oh, okay.
434
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,379
What are you doing?
435
00:17:55,381 --> 00:17:57,511
He doesn't know what you
look like, crazy pants.
436
00:17:57,514 --> 00:18:00,377
Okay, your flight leaves in 24 hours, Amy.
437
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,577
You can't afford to be picky.
438
00:18:01,579 --> 00:18:03,111
Maybe I just shouldn't go.
439
00:18:03,114 --> 00:18:05,544
No! He wrote back and
said he was interested.
440
00:18:05,546 --> 00:18:08,309
We've seen every Josh Merit in the city.
441
00:18:08,311 --> 00:18:09,477
This Josh'll do.
442
00:18:09,479 --> 00:18:10,710
And if it doesn't work out,
443
00:18:10,713 --> 00:18:12,610
you can just give him his
return ticket and then go meet
444
00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:14,244
some mysterious stranger
who doesn't speak English
445
00:18:14,246 --> 00:18:17,242
but makes you orgasm in five languages.
446
00:18:17,244 --> 00:18:19,310
I worry about you.
447
00:18:20,611 --> 00:18:22,207
- Me too.
- Okay...
448
00:18:22,209 --> 00:18:25,140
Fifty Shades of Gross
here has got it right.
449
00:18:25,142 --> 00:18:27,241
You need this, Amy.
450
00:18:27,243 --> 00:18:29,607
Besides, whatever Josh
you take with you to Europe
451
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,341
is better than the one you had.
452
00:19:04,603 --> 00:19:08,133
Uh, oh. Oh, uh, Josh?
453
00:19:08,135 --> 00:19:10,067
I still think you should have
gone with Personal Trainer Josh.
454
00:19:10,069 --> 00:19:12,532
Well, this is the only one
that said yes to my offer, okay?
455
00:19:12,534 --> 00:19:14,867
Wow, even my standards
are higher than that.
456
00:19:14,869 --> 00:19:16,900
This Josh is single, drug-free,
457
00:19:16,902 --> 00:19:18,333
and as far as we know,
not a knife-stabber.
458
00:19:18,335 --> 00:19:20,532
Okay? We're lucky he said yes.
459
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:23,298
Those are impressive credentials for any
man from the Bay Area, regardless of name.
460
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,332
I mean, if the state trusts
him to teach children,
461
00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:26,597
I'm gonna trust him with you.
462
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,864
Not to mention, he has a valid passport.
463
00:19:28,866 --> 00:19:29,900
And a great butt.
464
00:19:31,299 --> 00:19:33,430
What? It's important!
465
00:19:33,432 --> 00:19:35,596
Okay, remember we have to pretend
like we've never seen him before.
466
00:19:35,598 --> 00:19:37,429
So, put the sign back up and play it up.
467
00:19:37,431 --> 00:19:39,195
And, Sandra, try not to hit on him.
468
00:19:39,197 --> 00:19:41,495
But how will I resist his unemployed,
469
00:19:41,497 --> 00:19:43,361
scooter-riding charm?
470
00:19:43,364 --> 00:19:45,927
Regardless of anything,
I just want you to know
471
00:19:45,929 --> 00:19:47,627
I'm really proud of you, Amy.
472
00:19:47,629 --> 00:19:50,094
I mean, you could've stayed home sulking
473
00:19:50,096 --> 00:19:52,959
and missed out on a trip of
a lifetime, but you didn't.
474
00:19:52,961 --> 00:19:54,194
I know.
475
00:19:54,196 --> 00:19:57,193
I mean, this is crazy,
476
00:19:57,195 --> 00:19:59,026
but I'm actually kind of excited about it.
477
00:19:59,028 --> 00:20:01,226
And at least someone's
getting to use the ticket.
478
00:20:01,228 --> 00:20:02,892
He seems like he really needs it.
479
00:20:02,894 --> 00:20:04,091
You know who really needs it...
480
00:20:04,093 --> 00:20:05,258
Wait, guys! I think this is him.
481
00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:06,490
Play it cool.
482
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,021
Hey. Uh, sorry I'm late.
483
00:20:26,023 --> 00:20:27,021
I'm Joshua.
484
00:20:27,023 --> 00:20:28,522
"Josh."
485
00:20:28,524 --> 00:20:30,488
You couldn't have shaved?
486
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:31,921
Or at least showered?
487
00:20:31,923 --> 00:20:33,254
Uh, sorry.
488
00:20:33,256 --> 00:20:35,253
Thought we were gonna be
on a plane for 12 hours.
489
00:20:35,255 --> 00:20:36,453
Don't worry about her.
490
00:20:36,455 --> 00:20:37,485
I don't mind the scruff, heh.
491
00:20:37,488 --> 00:20:38,484
Thank you.
492
00:20:38,486 --> 00:20:40,353
Uh, Amy, I'm guessing?
493
00:20:40,355 --> 00:20:42,919
No, it's nice to meet you though, Joshua.
494
00:20:42,921 --> 00:20:44,585
I'm Sandra.
495
00:20:44,588 --> 00:20:48,585
Who will be staying here, with me.
496
00:20:48,588 --> 00:20:50,918
This is Amy.
497
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,350
Hi, Amy.
498
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:55,116
I mean... I'm Amy.
499
00:20:55,118 --> 00:20:57,949
Hi, Amy. Uh, Jo...
500
00:20:57,951 --> 00:20:59,217
Uh, we already did that.
501
00:20:59,219 --> 00:21:01,182
Um, can I help you with your bag?
502
00:21:01,184 --> 00:21:03,915
Uh, do you have a bag?
503
00:21:03,917 --> 00:21:05,516
Uh, didn't have much of a heads-up,
504
00:21:05,518 --> 00:21:08,015
so just threw everything
in a backpack and left.
505
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:09,915
Have you ever tried a rolling bag?
506
00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:12,315
Have you ever tried not
micromanaging other people?
507
00:21:12,317 --> 00:21:14,414
Okay, Joshua.
508
00:21:14,416 --> 00:21:15,947
See, the thing is, Amy here,
509
00:21:15,949 --> 00:21:17,379
she's calling all the shots.
510
00:21:17,381 --> 00:21:18,879
Except in the bedroom.
511
00:21:18,881 --> 00:21:20,011
Then she likes a little dominance,
512
00:21:20,014 --> 00:21:21,011
and her safe word is "stop."
513
00:21:21,014 --> 00:21:22,278
Guys...
514
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,345
Everything is in both of your names,
515
00:21:24,347 --> 00:21:26,311
so if you can't play nice,
you may as well walk away now
516
00:21:26,314 --> 00:21:27,978
or you'll be limping away later.
517
00:21:27,980 --> 00:21:29,211
You don't have to play nice with me.
518
00:21:29,214 --> 00:21:30,377
I like limping away.
519
00:21:30,379 --> 00:21:32,344
- Seriously?
- Wow, heh.
520
00:21:32,346 --> 00:21:35,211
Maybe I should get my return
ticket now for safe-keeping, huh?
521
00:21:35,214 --> 00:21:36,410
Sure!
522
00:21:36,413 --> 00:21:37,844
And if you wouldn't mind waiting
523
00:21:37,846 --> 00:21:39,109
until at least Sunday to dump me.
524
00:21:39,111 --> 00:21:40,375
I've already been through
that once this week.
525
00:21:40,377 --> 00:21:43,209
Okay? Everybody happy?
526
00:21:43,211 --> 00:21:45,076
Great. Here's your boarding pass.
527
00:21:45,078 --> 00:21:47,074
I'm glad you came, I'll
see you on the plane.
528
00:21:47,076 --> 00:21:48,874
Amy...
529
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:52,973
Is she okay?
530
00:21:52,975 --> 00:21:55,940
Don't worry, she's much
more friendly at 30,000 feet.
531
00:21:55,942 --> 00:21:58,140
And don't forget... any funny business,
532
00:21:58,142 --> 00:22:00,473
I won't be afraid to use this.
533
00:22:00,475 --> 00:22:01,905
Did that say Parking Enforcement?
534
00:22:01,907 --> 00:22:04,406
Just get on the damn plane!
535
00:22:04,408 --> 00:22:07,272
Okay, folks, I need two lines!
536
00:22:07,274 --> 00:22:09,404
Okay, have your documentation out.
537
00:22:09,406 --> 00:22:10,404
I'm not going anywhere.
538
00:22:10,406 --> 00:22:12,470
Next!
539
00:22:12,472 --> 00:22:13,870
Sir, step up, please.
540
00:22:13,872 --> 00:22:15,373
Sorry. It's, uh, early for me.
541
00:22:21,372 --> 00:22:22,936
Hmm...
542
00:22:22,939 --> 00:22:24,203
The name on your boarding pass
543
00:22:24,205 --> 00:22:26,269
doesn't match the name on your passport.
544
00:22:26,271 --> 00:22:27,472
Uh... let me see.
545
00:22:29,938 --> 00:22:32,434
No. Says right there, "Josh Merit."
546
00:22:32,436 --> 00:22:35,433
It says Michael Joshua Merit.
547
00:22:35,435 --> 00:22:37,868
Yeah, so Michael Josh Merit.
548
00:22:37,870 --> 00:22:39,200
That don't fly.
549
00:22:39,202 --> 00:22:40,532
Well I mean, not flying
550
00:22:40,534 --> 00:22:42,567
is not really an option right now, so...
551
00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:45,498
I won't allow you to board
with the wrong documentation.
552
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,431
Are you serious?
553
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:49,499
There's nothing wrong
with my documentation.
554
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:50,799
Do I look like a terrorist?
555
00:22:50,801 --> 00:22:53,065
You wanna check up my butt, see
if there's anything up there?
556
00:22:53,067 --> 00:22:54,065
Oh, I know something's up there,
557
00:22:54,067 --> 00:22:55,230
but you want me to find out.
558
00:22:55,232 --> 00:22:57,063
Ah, you must say that to all the guys.
559
00:22:57,065 --> 00:22:59,029
I'm sorry. Is... Is there a problem?
560
00:22:59,031 --> 00:23:01,197
Uh, yeah, honey bear.
561
00:23:01,199 --> 00:23:04,428
Uh, you used the wrong name on the tickets.
562
00:23:04,430 --> 00:23:07,929
That's funny, I thought
Josh Merit was correct.
563
00:23:07,931 --> 00:23:09,229
You two are traveling together?
564
00:23:09,231 --> 00:23:10,296
She does this all the time.
565
00:23:10,298 --> 00:23:12,196
- I... What?
- Uh...
566
00:23:12,198 --> 00:23:14,427
- Josh was my middle name, pumpkin.
- Really?
567
00:23:14,429 --> 00:23:15,527
You don't know your man's middle name?
568
00:23:15,529 --> 00:23:17,527
She means, really?
569
00:23:17,529 --> 00:23:19,560
That makes a difference?
570
00:23:19,563 --> 00:23:22,560
I'm gonna have to ask the
two of you to step aside.
571
00:23:22,563 --> 00:23:24,393
I cannot believe I got talked into this.
572
00:23:24,395 --> 00:23:25,425
What were you thinking?
573
00:23:25,427 --> 00:23:27,526
What were my parents thinking?
574
00:23:27,528 --> 00:23:31,258
- Exactly. Michael is a terrible name.
- Hey, my name's Michael.
575
00:23:31,260 --> 00:23:33,091
Well, don't tell her
that. She'll get all crazy.
576
00:23:33,093 --> 00:23:35,292
I should have gone with any of
the other guys that I looked at.
577
00:23:35,294 --> 00:23:36,524
Well, that's just hurtful.
578
00:23:36,526 --> 00:23:37,756
Even the guy who dealt drugs
would have been better than you!
579
00:23:37,758 --> 00:23:39,857
Ma'am, do you have something
that you would like to declare?
580
00:23:39,859 --> 00:23:42,422
Uh, Pookie-bear, let's not
make the nice man upset.
581
00:23:42,424 --> 00:23:44,956
I just wanted to take
a nice trip to Europe.
582
00:23:44,958 --> 00:23:47,423
- You have ruined everything.
- Oh, sure, this is all my fault.
583
00:23:47,425 --> 00:23:49,490
No matter what I do, no
matter how hard I try,
584
00:23:49,492 --> 00:23:51,488
- nothing goes right!
- Nothing goes right for you?
585
00:23:51,490 --> 00:23:53,255
What about me? I just lost my job!
586
00:23:53,257 --> 00:23:55,953
I just wanted to go to Europe!
587
00:23:55,955 --> 00:23:57,021
I just wanted to help children!
588
00:23:57,023 --> 00:23:59,254
I am gonna die alone!
589
00:23:59,256 --> 00:24:00,853
It's like you don't even know me!
590
00:24:00,855 --> 00:24:02,188
Oh, hell. Uhh!
591
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:03,520
Go on, it's fine.
592
00:24:03,522 --> 00:24:04,920
Really?
593
00:24:04,922 --> 00:24:06,522
Thank you so much.
594
00:24:09,921 --> 00:24:11,252
Y'all crazy.
595
00:24:11,254 --> 00:24:13,321
We're in therapy.
596
00:24:23,185 --> 00:24:25,285
See? That wasn't so bad.
597
00:24:28,185 --> 00:24:30,116
You were great back there, by the way.
598
00:24:30,118 --> 00:24:32,248
Let's be clear... I'm
not going to let anything
599
00:24:32,250 --> 00:24:34,581
take this trip away from me, okay?
600
00:24:34,583 --> 00:24:37,080
Okay.
601
00:24:37,082 --> 00:24:39,914
Thank you, by the way.
602
00:24:39,916 --> 00:24:41,480
For everything.
603
00:24:41,482 --> 00:24:44,847
You have no idea how badly I needed this.
604
00:24:44,849 --> 00:24:47,213
Well... me, too.
605
00:24:47,215 --> 00:24:50,179
So... thank you.
606
00:24:50,181 --> 00:24:53,345
Uh, before I forget...
607
00:24:53,347 --> 00:24:56,048
this should cover my half of the trip.
608
00:24:57,414 --> 00:24:58,945
It was a great deal, by the way.
609
00:24:58,947 --> 00:25:00,310
You got really lucky.
610
00:25:00,313 --> 00:25:02,010
It wasn't luck.
611
00:25:02,013 --> 00:25:04,043
It took a lot of careful
planning and scheduling.
612
00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:05,277
Uh, excuse me, Miss?
613
00:25:05,279 --> 00:25:06,875
Yes, sir, can I get you anything?
614
00:25:06,877 --> 00:25:08,408
Could I get a scotch
and soda before takeoff?
615
00:25:08,410 --> 00:25:09,408
Of course, sir.
616
00:25:09,410 --> 00:25:10,475
Thanks.
617
00:25:13,577 --> 00:25:15,307
What?
618
00:25:15,309 --> 00:25:17,108
It's a little early, isn't it?
619
00:25:17,110 --> 00:25:21,406
Um... I thought we were
going on vacation, right?
620
00:25:21,408 --> 00:25:23,940
And did I mention, free scotch?
621
00:25:23,942 --> 00:25:27,839
See, um, this is really more
of a retreat than a binge.
622
00:25:27,841 --> 00:25:29,839
I'm just having a drink to calm my nerves.
623
00:25:29,841 --> 00:25:31,273
Well, it would really calm my nerves
624
00:25:31,275 --> 00:25:33,405
if I knew I wasn't
traveling with an alcoholic.
625
00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:35,339
What are you, Mormon? It's one drink!
626
00:25:35,341 --> 00:25:37,838
I don't know anything about you.
627
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,905
Like, apparently, I don't even
know your real name, Michael!
628
00:25:40,907 --> 00:25:43,236
Look, no one's called me
Michael since I was seven.
629
00:25:43,239 --> 00:25:45,104
- Uh, Michael?
- What?
630
00:25:45,106 --> 00:25:46,569
Uh, your drink.
631
00:25:46,571 --> 00:25:48,035
Thanks. Sorry.
632
00:25:48,038 --> 00:25:49,570
Enjoy.
633
00:25:49,572 --> 00:25:51,836
Lush.
634
00:25:51,839 --> 00:25:53,501
Actually, you know what, Miss?
635
00:25:53,503 --> 00:25:55,433
- Let's make it a double.
- Sure thing.
636
00:25:55,435 --> 00:25:56,534
Seriously?
637
00:25:56,536 --> 00:25:57,802
When in Rome.
638
00:25:57,804 --> 00:26:00,367
Look... this is just
639
00:26:00,369 --> 00:26:02,901
a really sensitive time for me,
640
00:26:02,903 --> 00:26:04,432
and I need to know you're not a creep.
641
00:26:04,434 --> 00:26:06,933
You approached me on the Internet!
642
00:26:06,935 --> 00:26:08,470
I thought we were way past creepy.
643
00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:12,132
You want your return ticket?
644
00:26:12,134 --> 00:26:14,966
Fine.
645
00:26:14,968 --> 00:26:16,330
When we land,
646
00:26:16,332 --> 00:26:19,030
you can just turn around
and go right back home!
647
00:26:19,032 --> 00:26:21,100
Come on. Seriously?
648
00:26:24,331 --> 00:26:26,029
Fine.
649
00:26:26,031 --> 00:26:28,130
If it will make you uncomfortable,
650
00:26:28,132 --> 00:26:29,365
I won't drink.
651
00:26:30,532 --> 00:26:32,061
Thank you.
652
00:26:32,064 --> 00:26:34,065
Sorry. Mom won't let me.
653
00:26:40,330 --> 00:26:42,095
Oh, God.
654
00:26:42,097 --> 00:26:44,860
Okay. Oh, no.
655
00:26:46,129 --> 00:26:48,127
Don't be a baby.
656
00:26:50,328 --> 00:26:51,527
Please stop.
657
00:26:51,529 --> 00:26:53,125
Sorry, I can't.
658
00:26:53,127 --> 00:26:54,793
You're freaking me out, Joshua.
659
00:26:54,795 --> 00:26:56,258
I don't like flying.
660
00:26:56,260 --> 00:26:58,457
You don't like to fly?
661
00:26:58,459 --> 00:27:00,192
I'm scared of flying!
662
00:27:00,194 --> 00:27:01,324
Then why did you agree to fly
663
00:27:01,326 --> 00:27:03,056
halfway across the world with me?
664
00:27:03,058 --> 00:27:04,792
How the hell else was I
supposed to get to Europe?
665
00:27:04,794 --> 00:27:06,357
You never fly?
666
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,423
No, I drink, then I fly!
667
00:27:08,425 --> 00:27:09,855
Then why aren't you drinking now?
668
00:27:09,857 --> 00:27:11,289
You told me not to!
669
00:27:11,291 --> 00:27:12,790
Sir! Please calm down.
670
00:27:12,792 --> 00:27:14,090
We're in the middle of takeoff!
671
00:27:14,092 --> 00:27:16,122
Sorry! Oh, God, oh, God...
672
00:27:16,124 --> 00:27:17,921
Don't worry, Joshua, I have got this.
673
00:27:17,923 --> 00:27:19,389
No, no, I'm fine.
674
00:27:19,391 --> 00:27:20,389
You are gonna drink this.
675
00:27:20,391 --> 00:27:21,420
No, I'm not.
676
00:27:21,422 --> 00:27:23,386
- Yes, yes.
- Just gonna sit here.
677
00:27:23,389 --> 00:27:24,889
- I can handle it!
- Drink.
678
00:27:25,955 --> 00:27:27,219
Drink it!
679
00:27:27,221 --> 00:27:28,419
Drink... Damn it, drink it!
680
00:27:28,421 --> 00:27:29,419
I don't want it anymore.
681
00:27:29,421 --> 00:27:30,521
- Open your mouth.
- No...
682
00:27:30,523 --> 00:27:32,052
- No, thank you!
- Open your mouth.
683
00:27:32,054 --> 00:27:33,885
Open your mouth!
684
00:27:33,888 --> 00:27:34,885
Gah!
685
00:27:34,888 --> 00:27:35,951
Oh, God!
686
00:27:35,953 --> 00:27:37,452
Ohh...
687
00:27:37,454 --> 00:27:39,218
I'm sorry!
688
00:27:39,220 --> 00:27:40,951
What have you done?!
689
00:27:40,953 --> 00:27:42,785
Oh, I'm sorry!
690
00:27:42,788 --> 00:27:44,450
There you go.
691
00:27:44,452 --> 00:27:46,317
It's okay.
692
00:27:46,319 --> 00:27:48,017
We're fine.
693
00:27:48,019 --> 00:27:51,116
Are you guys all right?
Do you need anything?
694
00:27:51,118 --> 00:27:53,216
Yeah, what's your white wine?
695
00:27:53,218 --> 00:27:54,449
Ohh.
696
00:28:22,113 --> 00:28:25,044
Wow! This is incredible!
697
00:28:25,046 --> 00:28:27,043
You put the room in Josh's name?
698
00:28:27,045 --> 00:28:28,377
No wonder you needed me.
699
00:28:28,379 --> 00:28:30,476
Working in the travel
industry has its perks.
700
00:28:30,478 --> 00:28:32,843
With my brilliant master
plan, I doubled up on discounts
701
00:28:32,845 --> 00:28:34,409
by using two different names.
702
00:28:34,411 --> 00:28:37,042
Clever...
703
00:28:37,044 --> 00:28:40,008
So, in your grand master
plan, how did this work out?
704
00:28:40,010 --> 00:28:41,174
Well...
705
00:28:41,176 --> 00:28:43,407
the couch looks perfectly comfortable,
706
00:28:43,409 --> 00:28:45,941
and as long as you don't take
your penis out, we should be fine.
707
00:28:45,943 --> 00:28:47,341
Whoa, that's not fair.
708
00:28:47,343 --> 00:28:48,906
I mean, I paid my half of the trip,
709
00:28:48,908 --> 00:28:50,975
and after all, the room is in my name.
710
00:28:52,006 --> 00:28:53,073
How's unemployment in
California this time of year?
711
00:28:53,075 --> 00:28:54,340
I can't believe you're single.
712
00:28:54,342 --> 00:28:56,105
Just try not to vomit on anything.
713
00:28:56,107 --> 00:28:58,073
Okay, sure. I'll take a shower.
714
00:28:58,075 --> 00:29:00,004
I smell like scotch and bad life choices.
715
00:29:00,006 --> 00:29:01,371
So it does know how to bathe.
716
00:29:01,373 --> 00:29:03,504
I thought the priority
was surname, not hygiene.
717
00:29:03,506 --> 00:29:04,836
Would both kill you?
718
00:29:04,839 --> 00:29:06,171
A couple days of this might.
719
00:29:06,173 --> 00:29:08,036
Don't bother unpacking,
720
00:29:08,039 --> 00:29:09,904
we're leaving first thing in the morning.
721
00:29:09,906 --> 00:29:12,770
And hurry up, we have a tour
of the Hagia Sophia in an hour.
722
00:29:12,772 --> 00:29:14,170
We just got here.
723
00:29:14,172 --> 00:29:15,902
I don't think the museum is going anywhere.
724
00:29:15,904 --> 00:29:17,535
And wear something nice for dinner.
725
00:29:17,538 --> 00:29:20,235
Oh, no, I forgot my tuxedo!
726
00:29:20,238 --> 00:29:21,402
Joshua!
727
00:29:21,404 --> 00:29:24,069
Aw, just give me five minutes.
728
00:29:24,071 --> 00:29:26,833
Hey! There's a little
sink next to the toilet!
729
00:29:26,835 --> 00:29:27,934
That's a...
730
00:29:27,936 --> 00:29:29,768
Never mind.
731
00:29:32,935 --> 00:29:35,433
Oh, my God! What's up, girl?
732
00:29:35,435 --> 00:29:38,499
Joshua, or as it turns out, Michael Joshua,
733
00:29:38,501 --> 00:29:40,332
just hopped in the shower,
so I thought I'd get on.
734
00:29:40,334 --> 00:29:43,432
If I were you, I'd hop in
there with him and get off.
735
00:29:43,434 --> 00:29:44,998
Ew. Where's Marcie?
736
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,230
Yo, Enforcer! Let's park it in here.
737
00:29:47,232 --> 00:29:48,397
Ames is on.
738
00:29:48,399 --> 00:29:50,296
Ugh, don't rush me woman.
739
00:29:50,298 --> 00:29:52,097
I've been peddling all day.
740
00:29:52,099 --> 00:29:54,297
I just wanted to check in
with you guys and let you know
741
00:29:54,299 --> 00:29:55,764
that we got to Istanbul safely.
742
00:29:55,766 --> 00:29:57,095
Don't you mean Constantinople?
743
00:29:57,097 --> 00:29:59,196
- Funny.
- How's homeboy holding up?
744
00:29:59,198 --> 00:30:01,061
After take-off, he was fine.
745
00:30:01,064 --> 00:30:02,496
Oh, you put him in line.
746
00:30:02,498 --> 00:30:05,928
I think his fear of flying
did all the work for me.
747
00:30:05,930 --> 00:30:07,828
Wait, who takes on a tour of Europe
748
00:30:07,830 --> 00:30:09,027
when they're afraid to fly?
749
00:30:09,029 --> 00:30:10,760
He's harmless.
750
00:30:10,763 --> 00:30:12,994
A total smartass, but
he'll get the job done.
751
00:30:12,996 --> 00:30:15,159
See, aren't you glad you went now?
752
00:30:15,161 --> 00:30:17,925
I am. You should see the view.
753
00:30:17,927 --> 00:30:19,493
It's gorgeous here.
754
00:30:19,495 --> 00:30:21,226
We're having dinner
tonight on the Bosporus,
755
00:30:21,228 --> 00:30:22,824
but first we have a tour of the Hippodrome,
756
00:30:22,826 --> 00:30:25,357
if Joshua ever gets out of the bathroom.
757
00:30:25,359 --> 00:30:26,392
Holy crap. Amy, move!
758
00:30:26,394 --> 00:30:28,057
- Move where?
- To the right!
759
00:30:28,059 --> 00:30:29,057
No, our right!
760
00:30:29,059 --> 00:30:30,256
Ow.
761
00:30:30,258 --> 00:30:31,492
Guys, shut up!
762
00:30:31,494 --> 00:30:33,057
Tilt the screen!
763
00:30:33,059 --> 00:30:33,994
- Who are you talking to?
- Nobody!
764
00:30:35,126 --> 00:30:38,224
Hi, Sandra. Hi, Marcie.
765
00:30:38,226 --> 00:30:39,955
- Hi.
- Hi.
766
00:30:39,957 --> 00:30:42,289
See? Everybody made it here safely.
767
00:30:42,291 --> 00:30:44,788
And even though this beautiful
hotel room is in my name,
768
00:30:44,790 --> 00:30:47,089
apparently I'm on the
couch tonight... satisfied?
769
00:30:47,091 --> 00:30:47,889
Hell, yeah.
770
00:30:47,891 --> 00:30:49,388
I'd like to see him on my couch.
771
00:30:49,390 --> 00:30:51,020
Mm-hmm.
772
00:30:51,022 --> 00:30:53,421
All right, I'm gonna go
put some actual clothes on
773
00:30:53,423 --> 00:30:55,486
for dinner, and then I'm all yours.
774
00:30:55,489 --> 00:30:57,120
Uh-huh.
775
00:30:57,122 --> 00:30:59,119
Perfect.
776
00:30:59,121 --> 00:31:00,420
I mean, yeah.
777
00:31:00,422 --> 00:31:02,486
Great. Bye, ladies.
778
00:31:02,489 --> 00:31:03,486
Uh...
779
00:31:03,489 --> 00:31:05,051
- Bye.
- Bye.
780
00:31:05,053 --> 00:31:06,418
What?
781
00:31:06,420 --> 00:31:08,519
Bon appétit.
782
00:31:12,053 --> 00:31:13,417
- Hurry up!
- Hey, look!
783
00:31:13,419 --> 00:31:15,183
You can almost see the
obelisks through the trees.
784
00:31:15,185 --> 00:31:17,117
We have dinner reservations.
785
00:31:17,119 --> 00:31:19,083
You realize we've passed,
like, three national landmarks.
786
00:31:19,085 --> 00:31:20,483
I have a plan, Joshua.
787
00:31:20,485 --> 00:31:22,216
Does your plan actually
include enjoying the trip?
788
00:31:22,218 --> 00:31:23,752
Almost there.
789
00:31:26,117 --> 00:31:28,315
Merit, party of two at 7:00.
790
00:31:28,317 --> 00:31:30,447
Or try "Neurotic," party of one.
791
00:31:30,449 --> 00:31:31,817
Shut up, Joshua.
792
00:31:41,749 --> 00:31:44,778
Is this okay, Josh?
793
00:31:44,780 --> 00:31:46,245
Or did you wanna go back downstairs
794
00:31:46,247 --> 00:31:47,810
for your partial view?
795
00:31:47,813 --> 00:31:49,377
Couldn't have found anything nicer?
796
00:31:49,379 --> 00:31:51,178
Apology accepted.
797
00:31:51,180 --> 00:31:53,045
I don't even wanna eat.
798
00:31:53,047 --> 00:31:54,414
I just wanna look at everything.
799
00:31:55,879 --> 00:31:57,410
Can I get you anything to drink?
800
00:31:57,413 --> 00:31:59,477
Uh, you'll have to ask her
if we're allowed to drink.
801
00:31:59,479 --> 00:32:01,310
Hush!
802
00:32:01,313 --> 00:32:03,475
Do you have a local Narinje from 2011?
803
00:32:03,477 --> 00:32:06,375
Wow, you've already pre-planned
the wine we're drinking?
804
00:32:06,377 --> 00:32:07,742
Do you have a better idea?
805
00:32:07,744 --> 00:32:11,742
Uh, yeah. Let's ask the real experts.
806
00:32:29,041 --> 00:32:30,039
What?
807
00:32:30,041 --> 00:32:31,739
You speak Turkish?
808
00:32:31,741 --> 00:32:33,004
Yeah.
809
00:32:33,006 --> 00:32:34,839
Says on my profile I
speak several languages.
810
00:32:34,841 --> 00:32:36,236
There's no way.
811
00:32:36,239 --> 00:32:37,303
I would've noticed that.
812
00:32:37,305 --> 00:32:38,870
Give me your phone.
813
00:32:38,872 --> 00:32:40,335
I'll prove it.
814
00:32:40,338 --> 00:32:43,169
If I'm wrong, I'll buy your dinner.
815
00:32:43,171 --> 00:32:45,069
And if you're right?
816
00:32:45,071 --> 00:32:46,705
I get the bed.
817
00:32:50,938 --> 00:32:53,233
Mind if I log in on here?
818
00:32:53,235 --> 00:32:55,334
You're really gonna
rub this in, aren't you?
819
00:32:55,336 --> 00:32:56,468
Only until we get back to America
820
00:32:56,470 --> 00:32:57,867
and never speak to each other again.
821
00:32:57,869 --> 00:33:00,170
There.
822
00:33:02,502 --> 00:33:04,099
St. Cloud University,
823
00:33:04,101 --> 00:33:06,498
"Bachelor Studies in Altaic Languages."
824
00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:09,198
Altaic? Italic?
825
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:10,465
That doesn't sound like a real thing.
826
00:33:10,467 --> 00:33:12,098
You sound like my father.
827
00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:14,331
"Speaks English, Latin, German,
828
00:33:14,333 --> 00:33:15,965
Turkish, Korean, and Japanese"?
829
00:33:15,967 --> 00:33:17,398
What are you, in the CIA?
830
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,396
I could tell you, but I'd
have to sleep with you.
831
00:33:19,398 --> 00:33:21,096
Yeah, well, just remember, 007,
832
00:33:21,098 --> 00:33:23,263
you only have a license
to sleep on the couch.
833
00:33:23,265 --> 00:33:25,228
Not tonight. I won the bet.
834
00:33:25,230 --> 00:33:27,329
We never shook on it, and
this info's set to private.
835
00:33:27,331 --> 00:33:28,895
Are you serious?
836
00:33:28,897 --> 00:33:30,461
I think my students are
less sore losers than you.
837
00:33:30,464 --> 00:33:31,964
You have a friend request.
838
00:33:33,163 --> 00:33:34,927
Sandra Laser.
839
00:33:34,929 --> 00:33:35,927
Who's that?
840
00:33:35,929 --> 00:33:37,395
Oh, no.
841
00:33:37,397 --> 00:33:38,928
Wait, is that your Sandra?
842
00:33:38,930 --> 00:33:40,860
You don't have to confirm her.
843
00:33:40,863 --> 00:33:42,226
Oh, yes I do.
844
00:33:42,228 --> 00:33:44,127
- This is too good.
- Gimme...
845
00:33:44,129 --> 00:33:45,925
- Does she have pictures of you on here?
- Joshua!
846
00:33:45,927 --> 00:33:48,426
I think I did more research
on you than you did on me.
847
00:33:48,428 --> 00:33:50,324
Please, you don't know anything about me.
848
00:33:50,326 --> 00:33:52,157
Amy Elizabeth Tyler.
849
00:33:52,159 --> 00:33:54,157
Smart girl, graduated from Stanford
850
00:33:54,159 --> 00:33:57,224
before starting a very
popular travel blog called
851
00:33:57,226 --> 00:33:59,091
- "Amy's Adventures."
- I'm Amy...
852
00:33:59,093 --> 00:34:01,191
Your blog went viral,
and you now do something
853
00:34:01,193 --> 00:34:03,323
involving social media and travel.
854
00:34:03,325 --> 00:34:06,890
Well, I know your blood type's O positive.
855
00:34:06,892 --> 00:34:10,321
Wow... creepiness notwithstanding,
856
00:34:10,323 --> 00:34:13,257
I can't believe you actually
invited a stranger on your vacation.
857
00:34:18,255 --> 00:34:19,288
Enjoy.
858
00:34:22,255 --> 00:34:25,252
This table was the first thing I booked.
859
00:34:25,254 --> 00:34:26,853
By the time the food comes,
860
00:34:26,855 --> 00:34:28,152
the sun will have set,
861
00:34:28,154 --> 00:34:30,384
and the entire city will light up...
862
00:34:30,386 --> 00:34:33,484
and it's going to be perfect.
863
00:34:33,486 --> 00:34:35,752
Almost perfect.
864
00:34:35,754 --> 00:34:37,751
This trip is really
different than I planned,
865
00:34:37,753 --> 00:34:39,150
and that's hard to get used to,
866
00:34:39,152 --> 00:34:41,850
but I wasn't gonna give
this up for anything.
867
00:34:41,852 --> 00:34:43,382
Or anyone.
868
00:34:43,384 --> 00:34:45,952
Well, my namesake missed out
on something really special.
869
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:49,952
To new adventures.
870
00:34:52,383 --> 00:34:53,951
To new adventures.
871
00:34:58,883 --> 00:35:00,281
Can't we just get ice cream?
872
00:35:00,283 --> 00:35:01,481
I have something special planned.
873
00:35:01,483 --> 00:35:03,046
Is it hiding a dead body?
874
00:35:03,048 --> 00:35:04,280
'Cause I think I found a place.
875
00:35:04,282 --> 00:35:05,813
Trust me. I do this for a living.
876
00:35:05,815 --> 00:35:07,213
Yeah, I still don't get what you do.
877
00:35:07,215 --> 00:35:08,914
You're like a fancy travel agent, right?
878
00:35:08,916 --> 00:35:11,178
I'm not a travel agent,
I'm a global concierge.
879
00:35:11,180 --> 00:35:13,113
Nah, that doesn't sound like a real thing.
880
00:35:13,115 --> 00:35:15,310
Okay, most millennials
take nine trips a year.
881
00:35:15,313 --> 00:35:17,310
I'm sorry, nine? Did you say nine?
882
00:35:17,313 --> 00:35:18,945
Consulting, research, trades.
883
00:35:18,947 --> 00:35:20,343
I should've never become a teacher.
884
00:35:20,345 --> 00:35:21,744
But you have your summers, right?
885
00:35:21,746 --> 00:35:23,109
Not to take nine trips!
886
00:35:23,111 --> 00:35:25,243
You're thinking of travel as an expense
887
00:35:25,245 --> 00:35:26,910
rather than a simple upgrade.
888
00:35:26,913 --> 00:35:28,775
When our clients get
sent somewhere for work,
889
00:35:28,777 --> 00:35:31,109
we help them maximize their trip for play.
890
00:35:31,111 --> 00:35:34,009
Yeah, your clients work
much cooler places than I do.
891
00:35:34,011 --> 00:35:35,908
Well, hypothetically,
892
00:35:35,910 --> 00:35:37,207
let's say your work sends you
893
00:35:37,209 --> 00:35:38,908
to a teaching conference in Austin.
894
00:35:38,910 --> 00:35:40,908
Okay, yeah. Austin is not Istanbul.
895
00:35:40,910 --> 00:35:42,473
They have teaching conferences in Istanbul.
896
00:35:42,475 --> 00:35:45,073
Let's stick to hypothetical Austin for now.
897
00:35:45,075 --> 00:35:46,206
Great.
898
00:35:46,208 --> 00:35:47,406
Having never been to Texas,
899
00:35:47,408 --> 00:35:49,105
you decide to stay an extra day,
900
00:35:49,107 --> 00:35:51,405
so you can see more than
the inside of a hotel room.
901
00:35:51,407 --> 00:35:54,305
Trip's already paid for. You
have the sick days saved up.
902
00:35:54,307 --> 00:35:57,105
And for a small fee, I can unlock the city
903
00:35:57,107 --> 00:35:59,036
so that you see more in 24 hours
904
00:35:59,039 --> 00:36:01,271
than most tourists or
locals see in a month,
905
00:36:01,273 --> 00:36:03,071
all tailored to your tastes.
906
00:36:03,073 --> 00:36:05,304
I'm pretty sure I'd still
find some cool stuff.
907
00:36:05,306 --> 00:36:06,706
We're here.
908
00:36:11,939 --> 00:36:14,101
Hi, I tweeted you about...
909
00:36:14,103 --> 00:36:16,001
Ah! Of course, of course!
910
00:36:16,003 --> 00:36:17,102
Come, come!
911
00:36:17,104 --> 00:36:18,234
Where do you find these places?
912
00:36:18,236 --> 00:36:19,268
Instagram.
913
00:36:21,003 --> 00:36:23,100
You're not joking...
914
00:36:23,102 --> 00:36:25,400
I'm finishing the first batch of the day.
915
00:36:25,402 --> 00:36:26,701
You wanna see?
916
00:36:26,703 --> 00:36:27,870
Yes, please.
917
00:36:31,468 --> 00:36:34,031
Perfect!
918
00:36:34,033 --> 00:36:35,298
See?
919
00:36:35,300 --> 00:36:36,398
See what?
920
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:37,868
You watch.
921
00:36:46,931 --> 00:36:48,265
Gold leaf.
922
00:36:50,865 --> 00:36:51,966
Anise.
923
00:36:55,065 --> 00:36:56,761
Your turn.
924
00:37:00,863 --> 00:37:02,394
So...
925
00:37:02,396 --> 00:37:04,728
Instagram, huh?
926
00:37:04,730 --> 00:37:07,227
I can search the hashtag,
"Istanbul Bakery."
927
00:37:07,229 --> 00:37:09,359
Sort through photos that
are often geo-tagged,
928
00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:10,926
find directions to the actual bakery,
929
00:37:10,928 --> 00:37:12,393
and voila!
930
00:37:12,395 --> 00:37:14,359
A local delicacy made fresh.
931
00:37:14,361 --> 00:37:16,092
You came up with all this?
932
00:37:16,094 --> 00:37:17,857
Just the impressive part.
933
00:37:17,859 --> 00:37:20,092
Why is it people like you
always work for smart start-ups
934
00:37:20,094 --> 00:37:23,224
instead of solving the
debt crisis or world hunger?
935
00:37:23,226 --> 00:37:26,627
Taste this and tell me
I'm wasting my talents.
936
00:37:28,892 --> 00:37:31,322
Mmm!
937
00:37:31,324 --> 00:37:32,889
Okay.
938
00:37:32,891 --> 00:37:34,455
Yeah. Trip's over.
939
00:37:34,457 --> 00:37:35,723
I live here now.
940
00:37:36,924 --> 00:37:41,922
So... travel agent or global concierge?
941
00:37:41,924 --> 00:37:44,088
Global concierge.
942
00:37:44,090 --> 00:37:46,055
My turn.
943
00:37:46,057 --> 00:37:49,323
So, Esra, what's the secret ingredient?
944
00:37:52,721 --> 00:37:53,720
Raki.
945
00:37:53,722 --> 00:37:55,851
What is that?
946
00:37:55,853 --> 00:38:00,752
That... is their version of moonshine.
947
00:38:12,052 --> 00:38:13,916
Hurry up!
948
00:38:13,918 --> 00:38:15,982
Wow... tipsy Amy walks slower,
949
00:38:15,984 --> 00:38:17,815
but she still keeps a tight schedule.
950
00:38:17,817 --> 00:38:19,282
We have to rest up for tomorrow!
951
00:38:19,284 --> 00:38:20,816
Hurry up and relax, huh?
952
00:38:20,818 --> 00:38:22,214
There's a lot to see.
953
00:38:22,216 --> 00:38:24,148
I just don't wanna miss anything.
954
00:38:24,150 --> 00:38:26,681
Oh, yeah? Why'd you stop vlogging about it?
955
00:38:26,683 --> 00:38:28,380
Do you know how many views you have to get
956
00:38:28,382 --> 00:38:29,846
for your videos to make money?
957
00:38:29,848 --> 00:38:31,813
Yeah. That's why I teach.
958
00:38:31,815 --> 00:38:34,013
I hate children, but I make so much money
959
00:38:34,015 --> 00:38:35,811
off the little bastards.
960
00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:38,013
When I was a kid, I wanted to live
961
00:38:38,015 --> 00:38:40,378
out of a suitcase and travel the world.
962
00:38:40,380 --> 00:38:43,146
And I did. It was great.
963
00:38:43,148 --> 00:38:45,943
But the vacation always
has to come to an end.
964
00:38:45,945 --> 00:38:48,743
Hey. Says who?
965
00:38:48,745 --> 00:38:50,910
Said my bank account
966
00:38:50,913 --> 00:38:53,044
and my parents and my friends
967
00:38:53,046 --> 00:38:54,909
and my perfect boyfriend
968
00:38:54,911 --> 00:38:57,209
who didn't want a long
distance relationship.
969
00:38:57,211 --> 00:38:59,008
Hey... he dumped you.
970
00:38:59,010 --> 00:39:00,841
Clearly, he wasn't that perfect.
971
00:39:00,843 --> 00:39:03,075
Our life was.
972
00:39:03,077 --> 00:39:05,274
I finally had security.
973
00:39:05,276 --> 00:39:07,007
I created a way to help people
974
00:39:07,009 --> 00:39:11,707
see the world through my
eyes, and it's a good idea.
975
00:39:11,709 --> 00:39:14,706
I'm making travel smarter, safer.
976
00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:17,872
I reconnected with old
friends like Sandra and Marcie.
977
00:39:17,874 --> 00:39:18,873
I got rid of my debt.
978
00:39:18,875 --> 00:39:20,305
And your dreams.
979
00:39:20,307 --> 00:39:23,671
Josh became my dream.
980
00:39:23,673 --> 00:39:25,971
All I had to do is give up my old life
981
00:39:25,973 --> 00:39:29,970
and my little videos.
982
00:39:29,972 --> 00:39:31,870
I started a new kind of journey
983
00:39:31,872 --> 00:39:35,802
where I planned adventures for
other people instead of myself.
984
00:39:35,804 --> 00:39:39,805
It was like a vacation
all over again, but...
985
00:39:41,171 --> 00:39:43,605
The vacation came to an end.
986
00:39:51,769 --> 00:39:54,366
Hey, you could still make your
videos on the side, you know.
987
00:39:54,368 --> 00:39:57,400
Yeah... maybe I'll vlog about tonight.
988
00:39:57,402 --> 00:40:00,033
First I'm on the couch,
now we're making videos.
989
00:40:00,035 --> 00:40:02,165
What was in that Raki?
990
00:40:02,167 --> 00:40:04,198
Shut up, you...
991
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:08,430
with the muscles and the wine stuff.
992
00:40:08,432 --> 00:40:12,097
And the multi-lingual...
993
00:40:12,099 --> 00:40:13,764
lingual-ness?
994
00:40:13,766 --> 00:40:15,729
Stanford, huh?
995
00:40:15,731 --> 00:40:18,796
Shut your face.
996
00:40:18,798 --> 00:40:21,063
All right, drunkie. Let's get you to bed.
997
00:40:21,065 --> 00:40:22,396
We have to drive in the morning.
998
00:40:22,398 --> 00:40:25,328
I know.
999
00:40:25,330 --> 00:40:28,228
We have to get up so early.
1000
00:40:28,230 --> 00:40:30,395
Yeah. Whose idea was that?
1001
00:40:30,397 --> 00:40:31,694
Hey!
1002
00:40:31,696 --> 00:40:33,059
You should be grateful
1003
00:40:33,061 --> 00:40:35,327
I'm squeezing the most out of this trip.
1004
00:40:35,329 --> 00:40:37,860
I'm glad that we flew 12 hours to Istanbul
1005
00:40:37,863 --> 00:40:39,693
just to drive out of it the next day.
1006
00:40:39,695 --> 00:40:42,326
Hush, grumpy pants.
1007
00:40:42,328 --> 00:40:45,424
With me, you saw more in 24 hours
1008
00:40:45,426 --> 00:40:48,725
than you ever would have seen in your life.
1009
00:40:48,727 --> 00:40:50,858
I will give you that.
1010
00:40:50,860 --> 00:40:51,857
Come on.
1011
00:40:53,225 --> 00:40:54,290
Whee!
1012
00:40:57,991 --> 00:40:59,258
Ohh.
1013
00:41:00,392 --> 00:41:02,855
Wait, you won the bed.
1014
00:41:02,857 --> 00:41:04,022
Stay here.
1015
00:41:04,024 --> 00:41:05,289
No way.
1016
00:41:05,291 --> 00:41:06,655
I'm not missing my only opportunity
1017
00:41:06,657 --> 00:41:07,888
to couch surf the world.
1018
00:41:07,890 --> 00:41:09,288
Don't go.
1019
00:41:09,290 --> 00:41:10,886
Stay with me.
1020
00:41:10,889 --> 00:41:13,721
That's really not a good idea.
1021
00:41:13,723 --> 00:41:15,290
But I want you to.
1022
00:41:16,922 --> 00:41:19,386
Kiss me, Josh.
1023
00:41:19,389 --> 00:41:21,189
Please, Josh.
1024
00:41:23,720 --> 00:41:25,419
I'm not Josh.
1025
00:41:25,421 --> 00:41:27,384
Don't leave me.
1026
00:41:27,386 --> 00:41:29,284
My name is Joshua, not Josh.
1027
00:41:29,286 --> 00:41:31,218
I'm not your boyfriend.
1028
00:41:31,220 --> 00:41:32,384
I'm not your rebound.
1029
00:41:32,386 --> 00:41:34,018
And I certainly didn't come here
1030
00:41:34,020 --> 00:41:38,786
to be told what to do
every second of every day.
1031
00:41:51,750 --> 00:41:53,250
Good night, Amy.
1032
00:41:59,381 --> 00:42:02,848
I can't wait to see what
you've got planned tomorrow.
1033
00:42:05,748 --> 00:42:07,045
Oh, okay, okay.
1034
00:42:07,047 --> 00:42:08,645
Please slow down.
1035
00:42:08,647 --> 00:42:10,410
I didn't realize you also got carsick.
1036
00:42:10,413 --> 00:42:12,144
Didn't you read the travel
itinerary I sent you?
1037
00:42:12,146 --> 00:42:13,909
I didn't realize I'd be
riding with Danica Patrick.
1038
00:42:13,911 --> 00:42:16,143
- We're late.
- Rather be late than dead.
1039
00:42:16,145 --> 00:42:17,844
What are you doing?
1040
00:42:17,846 --> 00:42:20,076
I'm just rolling down the
window to get some fresh air.
1041
00:42:20,078 --> 00:42:21,376
You're supposed to be navigating.
1042
00:42:21,378 --> 00:42:22,809
- Where are the directions?
- Will you calm down?
1043
00:42:22,811 --> 00:42:24,908
The directions are right here.
1044
00:42:24,910 --> 00:42:26,309
- Joshua!
- Huh?
1045
00:42:26,311 --> 00:42:27,975
- What's next?
- Uh...
1046
00:42:27,977 --> 00:42:29,342
I think take the next right.
1047
00:42:29,344 --> 00:42:31,242
You think? What do the directions say?
1048
00:42:31,244 --> 00:42:32,675
They said right.
1049
00:42:32,677 --> 00:42:34,041
- Let me see.
- Y-You drive.
1050
00:42:34,043 --> 00:42:35,874
- I got this.
- Hand it to me!
1051
00:42:35,876 --> 00:42:37,906
Look, maybe we should
just scrap the directions.
1052
00:42:37,908 --> 00:42:40,207
You know, throw 'em out the window.
1053
00:42:40,209 --> 00:42:41,373
You threw them out the window.
1054
00:42:41,375 --> 00:42:42,873
They may have flown out the window.
1055
00:42:42,875 --> 00:42:44,972
That was our only copy!
1056
00:42:44,974 --> 00:42:46,971
I'm surprised of all people
you don't have a backup plan.
1057
00:42:48,108 --> 00:42:49,272
You're impossible. Here.
1058
00:42:49,274 --> 00:42:50,704
Whoa, what... What are you doing?
1059
00:42:50,706 --> 00:42:52,170
No texting!
1060
00:42:52,172 --> 00:42:53,839
I am going to use the
GPS to navigate myself!
1061
00:42:53,841 --> 00:42:55,903
- Let me do it.
- You've done enough!
1062
00:42:55,905 --> 00:42:57,303
Just... watch the road!
1063
00:43:00,805 --> 00:43:02,736
Your e-mail promised a vacation,
1064
00:43:02,739 --> 00:43:05,035
not an episode of "The Amazing Race."
1065
00:43:05,038 --> 00:43:07,068
I took the time to write out the plan
1066
00:43:07,070 --> 00:43:09,835
step-by-step, and you
threw it out the window!
1067
00:43:09,838 --> 00:43:11,034
I'm sorry, what?
1068
00:43:11,036 --> 00:43:13,967
You wanna go back and look for it?
1069
00:43:15,736 --> 00:43:17,300
Little help?
1070
00:43:17,302 --> 00:43:19,300
I'm helping look for a signal.
1071
00:43:19,302 --> 00:43:20,967
Yeah, I got a signal for ya.
1072
00:43:20,969 --> 00:43:22,867
If I can just figure out where we are,
1073
00:43:22,869 --> 00:43:24,733
I can get us back on schedule.
1074
00:43:24,735 --> 00:43:26,632
Well, you wanted lunch in the countryside.
1075
00:43:26,634 --> 00:43:27,966
Looks like we're right on schedule.
1076
00:43:27,968 --> 00:43:30,198
I had an itinerary.
1077
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,665
I spent time and money and
a lot of work to get here.
1078
00:43:32,667 --> 00:43:34,632
Can I be inside the car
for this conversation?
1079
00:43:34,634 --> 00:43:36,165
I wanted to see the countryside
1080
00:43:36,167 --> 00:43:39,163
and drink local wine and
eat handmade chocolate.
1081
00:43:39,165 --> 00:43:41,129
You know, I'm sure they have
all those things in every town.
1082
00:43:41,131 --> 00:43:42,297
You can't just swap everything
1083
00:43:42,299 --> 00:43:43,763
as if it doesn't matter!
1084
00:43:43,765 --> 00:43:45,163
This is important to me!
1085
00:43:45,165 --> 00:43:46,961
Look, lady, I'm just
trying to go with the flow.
1086
00:43:46,964 --> 00:43:49,894
I wanted to go with the plan, not the flow.
1087
00:43:49,896 --> 00:43:51,960
I wanted to drink
Nairinjay, not Chardonnay.
1088
00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:53,828
And I wanted to be here
with Josh and not you!
1089
00:43:53,830 --> 00:43:55,661
Well, I didn't choose you, either, lady.
1090
00:43:55,664 --> 00:43:57,360
If you're so good at planning,
how'd you get to Europe
1091
00:43:57,363 --> 00:43:59,793
with only half the people
you planned to take?
1092
00:44:00,997 --> 00:44:02,393
Whoa! What are you...
1093
00:44:02,395 --> 00:44:03,826
What are you doing? Wait!
1094
00:44:03,828 --> 00:44:05,326
I'll be at the coffee place!
1095
00:44:05,328 --> 00:44:07,828
Amy! Wait! Wait!
1096
00:44:09,361 --> 00:44:11,726
Oh, great. The coffee place.
1097
00:44:11,728 --> 00:44:13,295
You know, the one in Turkey.
1098
00:44:16,893 --> 00:44:18,624
I'll just walk to the coffee place
1099
00:44:18,626 --> 00:44:20,358
in the town that I've never been to.
1100
00:44:26,824 --> 00:44:28,723
Well! The good news is
1101
00:44:28,725 --> 00:44:30,989
there's only seven coffee
places in this town.
1102
00:44:30,991 --> 00:44:32,657
Don't start.
1103
00:44:34,224 --> 00:44:36,922
Hey, I'm just glad you
didn't do this in Istanbul.
1104
00:44:36,924 --> 00:44:38,355
Got the itinerary.
1105
00:44:38,357 --> 00:44:39,686
We've already missed the tour,
1106
00:44:39,689 --> 00:44:40,953
but we can still make the museum
1107
00:44:40,955 --> 00:44:42,320
and the hot springs if we push dinner.
1108
00:44:42,322 --> 00:44:43,653
May I?
1109
00:44:44,755 --> 00:44:46,185
I don't wanna be here.
1110
00:44:46,188 --> 00:44:48,386
Are you kidding me?
1111
00:44:48,389 --> 00:44:49,753
Look around you.
1112
00:44:49,755 --> 00:44:51,352
Who wouldn't want to be here?
1113
00:44:51,354 --> 00:44:52,885
- Me.
- Listen...
1114
00:44:52,888 --> 00:44:55,150
Amy, we may not agree on many things,
1115
00:44:55,152 --> 00:44:57,318
but we both know you planned
one hell of a vacation.
1116
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,817
You said it yourself.
1117
00:44:59,819 --> 00:45:01,351
I planned half of this
trip for somebody else,
1118
00:45:01,353 --> 00:45:02,550
and he's not even here.
1119
00:45:02,552 --> 00:45:05,217
So now you don't have to worry
about anyone but yourself.
1120
00:45:05,219 --> 00:45:08,882
How often in life do we get to say that?
1121
00:45:08,884 --> 00:45:12,681
I miss him so much, Joshua.
1122
00:45:12,683 --> 00:45:15,348
I know this trip isn't what you planned.
1123
00:45:15,350 --> 00:45:17,315
Hell, I'm the last
person who expected to be
1124
00:45:17,317 --> 00:45:19,215
on the other side of the world right now.
1125
00:45:19,217 --> 00:45:22,313
But it sure beats sitting
at home sulking over my job,
1126
00:45:22,315 --> 00:45:24,313
my love life...
1127
00:45:24,315 --> 00:45:27,313
everything else that's waiting
for me when I get back there.
1128
00:45:27,315 --> 00:45:30,011
You don't wanna go back home, either?
1129
00:45:30,014 --> 00:45:31,080
Hell, no.
1130
00:45:31,082 --> 00:45:33,013
I, for one, will never be able
1131
00:45:33,015 --> 00:45:34,645
to afford a trip like this again.
1132
00:45:34,647 --> 00:45:36,145
Unless some weirdo on
the Internet finds me.
1133
00:45:36,147 --> 00:45:37,878
It's not that weird!
1134
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,748
It's the weirdest thing
that's ever happened to me.
1135
00:45:42,814 --> 00:45:44,143
Here.
1136
00:45:44,145 --> 00:45:45,977
What is that?
1137
00:45:45,979 --> 00:45:48,377
Literally an olive branch.
1138
00:45:48,379 --> 00:45:49,976
You're a dork.
1139
00:45:49,978 --> 00:45:51,011
You picked me.
1140
00:45:53,876 --> 00:45:54,976
Come on.
1141
00:45:54,978 --> 00:45:56,010
Hey!
1142
00:46:01,377 --> 00:46:03,975
Amy, tell the people at home what you see.
1143
00:46:03,977 --> 00:46:05,207
Stop.
1144
00:46:05,209 --> 00:46:06,840
This week on "Amy's Adventures,"
1145
00:46:06,842 --> 00:46:08,806
we take you to Bademli,
1146
00:46:08,808 --> 00:46:10,373
a small town which translates to "almond,"
1147
00:46:10,375 --> 00:46:12,705
which is actually known
for its Aegean olive fields
1148
00:46:12,707 --> 00:46:14,072
that we spent the morning whizzing through.
1149
00:46:14,074 --> 00:46:16,739
- How do you know that?
- I'm a very smart man.
1150
00:46:16,741 --> 00:46:18,739
You found the tourism office.
1151
00:46:18,741 --> 00:46:20,271
I may have found the tourism office,
1152
00:46:20,273 --> 00:46:21,804
but I think that was a very smart way
1153
00:46:21,806 --> 00:46:24,004
to find all the coffee places in town.
1154
00:46:24,006 --> 00:46:27,006
The other thing Bademli is known for is...
1155
00:46:32,039 --> 00:46:33,034
Ben Joshua.
1156
00:46:33,036 --> 00:46:34,336
Neslihan.
1157
00:46:39,003 --> 00:46:41,834
Uh, it's a, uh, bracelet
made with blue chalcedony,
1158
00:46:41,836 --> 00:46:44,667
which is a local quartz
with... mythical powers.
1159
00:46:44,669 --> 00:46:45,901
What does it do?
1160
00:46:45,903 --> 00:46:47,701
Absorbs negativity.
1161
00:46:47,703 --> 00:46:48,833
Is it working?
1162
00:46:48,835 --> 00:46:49,999
Jerk.
1163
00:46:50,001 --> 00:46:51,000
Pick one.
1164
00:46:51,002 --> 00:46:52,298
No, I couldn't.
1165
00:46:52,300 --> 00:46:54,668
Come on, you're insulting Neslihan.
1166
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:04,734
- Help?
- Ah.
1167
00:47:09,165 --> 00:47:11,229
Why are you being so nice to me?
1168
00:47:11,231 --> 00:47:14,064
I'm only a jerk to people
who take me to Hawaii.
1169
00:47:14,066 --> 00:47:16,163
No one's ever bought me jewelry before.
1170
00:47:16,165 --> 00:47:20,827
Well, your ex's shortcomings
aside, now you can tell people
1171
00:47:20,829 --> 00:47:22,194
about how you and a complete stranger
1172
00:47:22,196 --> 00:47:24,094
found this adorable little market,
1173
00:47:24,096 --> 00:47:26,726
and he bought you a
one-of-a-kind handmade bracelet.
1174
00:47:26,728 --> 00:47:29,026
You think you can just buy me a bracelet
1175
00:47:29,028 --> 00:47:30,160
and I won't be upset anymore?
1176
00:47:30,163 --> 00:47:32,225
Is it working?
1177
00:47:32,227 --> 00:47:36,358
Listen, Amy, this trip is not
gonna be what you expected.
1178
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:39,358
But I'll bet, if you let it...
1179
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,160
it can be even better.
1180
00:47:43,727 --> 00:47:45,158
So, what's the plan?
1181
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:46,826
We make it up.
1182
00:49:37,841 --> 00:49:39,972
Hold the boat! Hurry up, Joshua!
1183
00:49:39,974 --> 00:49:40,973
We're gonna miss the ferry!
1184
00:49:40,975 --> 00:49:42,672
Amy, will you calm down?
1185
00:49:42,674 --> 00:49:45,039
Heaven forbid we spend more
than an hour in one location.
1186
00:49:45,041 --> 00:49:46,836
This is the last ferry today, Joshua.
1187
00:49:46,839 --> 00:49:48,270
Unless you'd prefer to fly!
1188
00:49:50,205 --> 00:49:51,971
Hold the boat!
1189
00:49:53,605 --> 00:49:55,138
- We're gonna make it.
- We're not gonna make it.
1190
00:49:55,140 --> 00:49:57,036
- We can jump for it.
- I'm sorry, what?
1191
00:49:58,604 --> 00:49:59,734
Come on, Joshua!
1192
00:49:59,736 --> 00:50:01,968
- You're insane!
- Here... we...
1193
00:50:01,970 --> 00:50:06,238
goooooo!
1194
00:50:12,570 --> 00:50:14,900
Oh! Oh, my God!
1195
00:50:14,902 --> 00:50:17,067
Hey! Just wait!
1196
00:50:17,069 --> 00:50:19,667
That was incredible!
1197
00:50:19,669 --> 00:50:20,998
You see, Joshua!
1198
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,832
The rest of the world follows a schedule!
1199
00:50:22,834 --> 00:50:24,099
You worry too much.
1200
00:50:24,101 --> 00:50:26,032
Says the guy with the soaking wet backpack.
1201
00:50:26,034 --> 00:50:27,898
Ah, a little water never hurt anyone.
1202
00:50:27,900 --> 00:50:29,198
You got a phone in there, right?
1203
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:30,730
Oh, crap!
1204
00:50:30,732 --> 00:50:32,697
I would suggest a hard-shelled,
1205
00:50:32,699 --> 00:50:33,996
waterproof rolling bag,
1206
00:50:33,998 --> 00:50:36,564
but I don't wanna micromanage.
1207
00:50:36,566 --> 00:50:38,330
You crazy Americans.
1208
00:50:38,332 --> 00:50:40,963
You need a hand, my friends?
1209
00:50:40,965 --> 00:50:42,296
Yes, please!
1210
00:50:42,298 --> 00:50:43,695
Oh, don't worry.
1211
00:50:43,697 --> 00:50:45,631
I'll, uh, just get all the luggage.
1212
00:50:54,061 --> 00:50:57,060
I fished a siren out of the sea.
1213
00:50:57,063 --> 00:50:58,160
Thank you.
1214
00:50:58,163 --> 00:50:59,693
I'm not a very strong swimmer.
1215
00:50:59,695 --> 00:51:01,825
Good swimmers are often drowned.
1216
00:51:01,827 --> 00:51:02,825
I'm Amy.
1217
00:51:02,827 --> 00:51:04,059
I'm Kashif.
1218
00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:06,191
Don't worry! I'm fine.
1219
00:51:06,193 --> 00:51:08,891
This is incredible!
1220
00:51:08,893 --> 00:51:10,723
How can we ever repay you?
1221
00:51:10,725 --> 00:51:12,790
Why, a kiss, of course.
1222
00:51:12,792 --> 00:51:14,257
Oh...
1223
00:51:14,259 --> 00:51:16,291
That's really more of a figure of speech.
1224
00:51:18,558 --> 00:51:20,623
A kiss from a face
1225
00:51:20,625 --> 00:51:22,693
that launched my single ship.
1226
00:51:25,824 --> 00:51:27,155
Don't I get a kiss?
1227
00:51:27,157 --> 00:51:30,121
Ah... one is not enough for two.
1228
00:51:30,123 --> 00:51:31,820
What did you do?
1229
00:51:31,822 --> 00:51:34,554
I nearly drowned fishing
your luggage out of the sea?
1230
00:51:34,556 --> 00:51:36,186
Kashif, is there a place where we could
1231
00:51:36,189 --> 00:51:37,719
get out of these wet clothes?
1232
00:51:37,721 --> 00:51:40,020
What man can deny such an honor?
1233
00:51:40,022 --> 00:51:41,553
Please.
1234
00:51:41,555 --> 00:51:43,252
Help yourself below deck.
1235
00:51:43,254 --> 00:51:44,718
Thank you.
1236
00:51:44,720 --> 00:51:45,719
I'm fine.
1237
00:51:48,554 --> 00:51:52,150
Ah, the things we do for love, no?
1238
00:51:52,152 --> 00:51:54,284
Who says I wasn't jumping
to get away from her?
1239
00:51:54,286 --> 00:51:57,716
Listen, if a woman makes you
want to jump in the ocean,
1240
00:51:57,718 --> 00:51:58,950
you're in love.
1241
00:51:58,952 --> 00:52:00,783
I'll keep that in mind.
1242
00:52:00,785 --> 00:52:02,249
Where were you headed?
1243
00:52:02,251 --> 00:52:04,017
To Datça.
1244
00:52:04,019 --> 00:52:05,816
You have good taste.
1245
00:52:05,818 --> 00:52:06,881
The lady picked it.
1246
00:52:06,883 --> 00:52:08,881
Again, you have good taste.
1247
00:52:08,883 --> 00:52:10,649
Wait...
1248
00:52:10,651 --> 00:52:12,015
You have a boat.
1249
00:52:12,017 --> 00:52:13,615
You could take us there.
1250
00:52:13,617 --> 00:52:14,881
It's not my yacht.
1251
00:52:14,883 --> 00:52:16,714
I chartered it for the owner.
1252
00:52:16,716 --> 00:52:18,314
And, no offense,
1253
00:52:18,316 --> 00:52:19,713
I don't think you can afford it.
1254
00:52:19,715 --> 00:52:21,813
You don't know anything about me.
1255
00:52:21,815 --> 00:52:22,878
I know I don't fish millionaires
1256
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,711
out of the sea every day.
1257
00:52:24,714 --> 00:52:26,311
Tell you what.
1258
00:52:26,314 --> 00:52:28,646
You get us to Datça,
1259
00:52:28,648 --> 00:52:30,311
you can tell me anywhere in the world
1260
00:52:30,314 --> 00:52:31,611
you want to take a vacation.
1261
00:52:31,614 --> 00:52:32,945
How are you gonna do that?
1262
00:52:32,947 --> 00:52:34,044
I can't.
1263
00:52:34,046 --> 00:52:35,680
But she can.
1264
00:52:37,311 --> 00:52:38,979
Huh.
1265
00:52:40,779 --> 00:52:42,143
Welcome aboard.
1266
00:53:02,842 --> 00:53:04,172
Oh! Whoa.
1267
00:53:04,174 --> 00:53:06,640
Not ready to go in the water again.
1268
00:53:06,642 --> 00:53:08,839
"Oh, look at me. I'm Joshua.
1269
00:53:08,841 --> 00:53:10,838
"I'm super-manly and reckless.
1270
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:13,739
"Except on planes. And cars.
1271
00:53:13,741 --> 00:53:15,136
And boats."
1272
00:53:15,139 --> 00:53:17,271
Who are you, and what'd you do with Amy?
1273
00:53:17,273 --> 00:53:20,104
Being out here makes
me feel like "Old Amy."
1274
00:53:20,106 --> 00:53:22,570
Well, I like Old Amy.
1275
00:53:22,572 --> 00:53:24,869
Gorgeous dresses.
1276
00:53:24,871 --> 00:53:26,236
Jumping off docks.
1277
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:27,868
Kissing strange men.
1278
00:53:27,870 --> 00:53:30,869
Well, how else are we
supposed to pay Kashif back
1279
00:53:30,871 --> 00:53:33,201
for welcoming us on this beautiful yacht?
1280
00:53:33,203 --> 00:53:35,168
I told him you'd cover his
travel anywhere in the world.
1281
00:53:35,170 --> 00:53:36,834
- You what?
- Amy's back.
1282
00:53:36,836 --> 00:53:38,168
Seriously, Joshua?
1283
00:53:38,170 --> 00:53:39,601
Just when I think you've actually
gone and made a real plan,
1284
00:53:39,603 --> 00:53:42,567
it turns out you expect me to take
care of everything all over again.
1285
00:53:42,569 --> 00:53:43,501
Hey, Kashif!
1286
00:53:43,503 --> 00:53:44,798
Where do you want to take that vacation?
1287
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,699
Sunny California.
1288
00:53:47,701 --> 00:53:49,267
He can go anywhere in the world,
1289
00:53:49,269 --> 00:53:50,699
and he wants to go to California?
1290
00:53:50,701 --> 00:53:52,832
Yep. What's in California?
1291
00:53:52,834 --> 00:53:54,899
My white whale.
1292
00:53:54,901 --> 00:53:57,531
She must have been very special.
1293
00:53:57,533 --> 00:54:01,164
Well, she made me want
to jump into the ocean.
1294
00:54:42,559 --> 00:54:44,190
Well, that wasn't on the itinerary.
1295
00:54:44,192 --> 00:54:45,756
How would you know?
1296
00:54:45,758 --> 00:54:47,556
You threw the itinerary out the window.
1297
00:54:47,558 --> 00:54:49,656
I think we've done pretty okay without it.
1298
00:54:49,658 --> 00:54:52,555
I'd like to think we've
done more than pretty okay.
1299
00:54:52,557 --> 00:54:54,288
Well, I don't think it involved a boat.
1300
00:54:54,290 --> 00:54:57,021
Or... the other thing.
1301
00:54:57,023 --> 00:54:59,586
We'll never know.
1302
00:54:59,589 --> 00:55:01,854
You know, I think people
get so obsessed with planning
1303
00:55:01,856 --> 00:55:04,554
these perfect little
lives they're going to have
1304
00:55:04,556 --> 00:55:08,619
instead of committing to
the one that they've got.
1305
00:55:08,621 --> 00:55:10,785
Says the guy who's afraid of commitment.
1306
00:55:10,788 --> 00:55:12,851
When did I say that?
1307
00:55:12,853 --> 00:55:15,651
You're the least organized
person I've ever met.
1308
00:55:15,653 --> 00:55:18,552
You try organizing a room
full of five-year-olds.
1309
00:55:18,554 --> 00:55:21,150
I'm committed to being
there no matter what happens.
1310
00:55:21,152 --> 00:55:23,949
That's my job.
1311
00:55:23,951 --> 00:55:26,716
Or... it was.
1312
00:55:26,718 --> 00:55:27,916
I'm sorry.
1313
00:55:27,918 --> 00:55:28,949
It's okay.
1314
00:55:28,951 --> 00:55:30,650
I had a dog.
1315
00:55:30,652 --> 00:55:33,015
And he got sick.
1316
00:55:33,017 --> 00:55:35,182
Then he got really sick.
1317
00:55:35,184 --> 00:55:36,716
And without a second thought,
1318
00:55:36,718 --> 00:55:39,715
I dropped everything and
stayed home to help him.
1319
00:55:39,717 --> 00:55:42,515
Sounds pretty responsible.
1320
00:55:42,517 --> 00:55:44,247
Except I forgot to tell the school.
1321
00:55:44,249 --> 00:55:45,980
Surely they understood.
1322
00:55:45,982 --> 00:55:48,980
For a week.
1323
00:55:48,982 --> 00:55:50,546
After I had to put him down,
1324
00:55:50,548 --> 00:55:53,711
I lost even more work and...
1325
00:55:53,714 --> 00:55:54,777
they had to let me go.
1326
00:55:54,779 --> 00:55:56,613
That's terrible.
1327
00:55:56,615 --> 00:56:00,177
What can I say? The more
you commit to people,
1328
00:56:00,179 --> 00:56:02,877
the more you have to be
comfortable with uncertainty.
1329
00:56:02,879 --> 00:56:04,844
I think all any of us want to know is,
1330
00:56:04,846 --> 00:56:08,877
are you gonna hurt me, too?
1331
00:56:08,879 --> 00:56:12,009
And the answer is, inevitably, yes.
1332
00:56:12,011 --> 00:56:14,242
I thought I had someone
else figured out, too.
1333
00:56:14,244 --> 00:56:17,708
But people change.
1334
00:56:17,710 --> 00:56:18,741
Not that much.
1335
00:56:18,743 --> 00:56:22,041
We drift. If you start sailing
1336
00:56:22,043 --> 00:56:25,541
and you only go a degree off course
1337
00:56:25,543 --> 00:56:27,273
and then you go for long enough,
1338
00:56:27,275 --> 00:56:29,840
you end up in the wrong place.
1339
00:56:29,842 --> 00:56:32,706
Not the best metaphor to
use while we're on a boat.
1340
00:56:32,708 --> 00:56:35,173
You know what I mean. Yeah.
1341
00:56:35,175 --> 00:56:39,474
Well, here's to smooth
sailing from here on out.
1342
00:56:46,539 --> 00:56:48,171
What's up, Percolators?
1343
00:56:48,173 --> 00:56:50,835
Welcome to today's episode
of "Expresso Yourself,"
1344
00:56:50,838 --> 00:56:52,703
where things are getting steamy.
1345
00:56:52,705 --> 00:56:55,934
Caution! Contents are hot, hot, hot.
1346
00:56:55,936 --> 00:56:58,535
The latest photos of Hank
Pitman hit Tumblr today
1347
00:56:58,538 --> 00:57:00,934
and there are a latte options.
1348
00:57:00,936 --> 00:57:04,868
Here are the Top Ten responses
in order of asterisks and emo...
1349
00:57:04,870 --> 00:57:07,233
Ugh! Rendering.
1350
00:57:18,033 --> 00:57:19,632
Girl, I'm at work.
1351
00:57:19,634 --> 00:57:21,568
Yeah, we have a problem.
1352
00:57:30,265 --> 00:57:32,863
What do you think you're doing?
1353
00:57:32,865 --> 00:57:36,028
No. You can't possibly expect me
1354
00:57:36,030 --> 00:57:38,095
to sleep on the floor after last night.
1355
00:57:38,097 --> 00:57:40,163
There was nowhere else
to sleep on the yacht.
1356
00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:42,694
I just took pity on you. Whoa.
1357
00:57:42,696 --> 00:57:46,961
If that was pity, I can't
wait to see interested.
1358
00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:50,758
Watch it, or I won't even
let you have the good pillows.
1359
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:52,694
You know what?
1360
00:57:52,696 --> 00:57:56,692
Maybe I'll take the bed and
you can sleep on the floor!
1361
00:57:56,694 --> 00:57:58,493
Get down from there!
You're covered in filth!
1362
00:57:58,495 --> 00:57:59,859
You smell like a pirate!
1363
00:57:59,861 --> 00:58:02,825
Arr! That didn't stop you
from grabbing me booty.
1364
00:58:02,827 --> 00:58:05,592
Go take a shower! Okay.
1365
00:58:05,594 --> 00:58:07,924
But I'm taking the good pillows with me.
1366
00:58:07,926 --> 00:58:10,856
This one and this one.
1367
00:58:10,858 --> 00:58:13,157
Hurry up. We have a walking
tour in less than an hour!
1368
00:58:13,159 --> 00:58:16,093
Of course we do.
1369
00:58:25,823 --> 00:58:28,253
Joshua, that's how you get bed bugs.
1370
00:58:28,255 --> 00:58:29,990
Aw, crap.
1371
00:59:01,950 --> 00:59:04,149
We've been trying to get
a hold of you all weekend!
1372
00:59:04,151 --> 00:59:05,482
Is Joshua there?
1373
00:59:05,484 --> 00:59:06,781
He's in the shower.
1374
00:59:06,783 --> 00:59:09,181
Oh, my God, he has an engagement ring.
1375
00:59:09,183 --> 00:59:11,514
I mean, he doesn't know
that I know he has a ring.
1376
00:59:11,516 --> 00:59:12,680
Why does he have a ring?
1377
00:59:12,682 --> 00:59:13,513
Amy, calm down.
1378
00:59:13,515 --> 00:59:14,347
It's beautiful. It's a little snug.
1379
00:59:14,349 --> 00:59:16,880
- But I hardly know him!
- Amy, please!
1380
00:59:16,882 --> 00:59:19,613
He pushes all my buttons, makes
me feel like a crazy person.
1381
00:59:19,615 --> 00:59:20,946
But then on the boat, we kissed.
1382
00:59:20,948 --> 00:59:22,879
And then we more than kissed.
1383
00:59:22,881 --> 00:59:24,146
And now we're in the Mediterranean
1384
00:59:24,148 --> 00:59:25,510
and he has this ring!
1385
00:59:25,513 --> 00:59:26,611
Amy! Amy!
1386
00:59:26,614 --> 00:59:28,177
He has a girlfriend!
1387
00:59:28,179 --> 00:59:30,244
What?
1388
00:59:30,246 --> 00:59:34,109
That punk is a lying,
cheating, scum-sucking pig!
1389
00:59:34,111 --> 00:59:35,610
You should confront him!
1390
00:59:35,613 --> 00:59:37,143
How could he have a girlfriend?
1391
00:59:37,145 --> 00:59:39,875
We researched him. You
did a background check.
1392
00:59:39,877 --> 00:59:41,142
Just tell her.
1393
00:59:41,144 --> 00:59:43,108
There's tons of pictures online
1394
00:59:43,110 --> 00:59:47,107
of him and some really young
pretty blonde named Tiffany.
1395
00:59:47,109 --> 00:59:48,541
What does she need that description for?
1396
00:59:48,543 --> 00:59:49,675
This isn't a police report.
1397
00:59:49,677 --> 00:59:51,641
I'm so sorry, Ames!
1398
00:59:51,643 --> 00:59:54,807
There's photo albums dating
back to four years ago with them.
1399
00:59:54,809 --> 00:59:57,172
Vacations, anniversaries.
1400
00:59:57,174 --> 00:59:58,640
Maybe they broke up.
1401
00:59:58,642 --> 00:59:59,939
Yesterday, she wrote on his wall,
1402
00:59:59,941 --> 01:00:01,506
"Where are you?
1403
01:00:01,508 --> 01:00:03,172
I'm ready to give you my answer."
1404
01:00:03,174 --> 01:00:06,471
And now I'm wearing her ring.
1405
01:00:06,473 --> 01:00:08,038
You did nothing wrong, Ames.
1406
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:09,638
There's no relationship
status on his profile.
1407
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:10,938
How could you have known?
1408
01:00:10,940 --> 01:00:12,171
But we had to tell you.
1409
01:00:12,173 --> 01:00:13,504
Guys?
1410
01:00:13,506 --> 01:00:14,871
Is there anything we can do?
1411
01:00:14,873 --> 01:00:16,703
Get this ring off me?
1412
01:00:16,705 --> 01:00:18,703
Just take it off!
1413
01:00:18,705 --> 01:00:19,702
I can't, it's stuck.
1414
01:00:19,704 --> 01:00:21,102
Well, it better get unstuck.
1415
01:00:21,104 --> 01:00:22,702
Amy, you can't be caught
wearing that thing!
1416
01:00:22,704 --> 01:00:23,936
I know that!
1417
01:00:23,939 --> 01:00:25,869
It's like it's glued to my finger.
1418
01:00:25,871 --> 01:00:27,769
That Tiffany must be some
kind of anorexic bitch.
1419
01:00:27,771 --> 01:00:29,468
- Pull it!
- Not helping.
1420
01:00:29,470 --> 01:00:30,868
- Just twist, okay, twist.
- Just pull it!
1421
01:00:30,870 --> 01:00:32,033
Do you have butter? Just get the butter.
1422
01:00:32,035 --> 01:00:33,034
Where would she get butter?
1423
01:00:33,036 --> 01:00:33,971
I don't know. Oil!
1424
01:00:35,634 --> 01:00:37,932
Oh, my God. Amy, he's coming!
1425
01:00:37,934 --> 01:00:39,101
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I'm freaking.
1426
01:00:44,700 --> 01:00:45,801
Put it back now.
1427
01:00:51,999 --> 01:00:54,797
You okay? You're doing the pee-pee dance
1428
01:00:54,799 --> 01:00:56,130
my students used to do.
1429
01:00:56,132 --> 01:01:01,029
Well, that is exactly correct.
1430
01:01:01,031 --> 01:01:03,464
Somebody took forever in the shower
1431
01:01:03,466 --> 01:01:05,028
and you better not have
used up all the hot water
1432
01:01:05,030 --> 01:01:06,861
because now I'm gonna take one, too.
1433
01:01:06,864 --> 01:01:09,128
And I need soap. Lots of soap!
1434
01:01:09,130 --> 01:01:12,993
Good! Who smells like a pirate now?
1435
01:01:12,995 --> 01:01:15,630
Oh. Hello, ladies.
1436
01:01:17,861 --> 01:01:19,693
Hurry it up in there!
1437
01:01:19,695 --> 01:01:21,728
The ruins might not be
there if we take too long.
1438
01:01:34,626 --> 01:01:39,023
The City of Ephesus is known for
housing the Temple of Artemis,
1439
01:01:39,025 --> 01:01:42,622
one of the Seven Wonders
of the Ancient World.
1440
01:01:42,624 --> 01:01:47,424
Right now, we are in front of
the magnificent Library of Celsus.
1441
01:01:50,023 --> 01:01:51,022
What are you doing?
1442
01:01:51,024 --> 01:01:52,986
What are you doing?
1443
01:01:52,989 --> 01:01:55,620
...known to store 12,000 scrolls.
1444
01:01:55,622 --> 01:01:58,152
Ow! What was that for? Shh!
1445
01:01:58,154 --> 01:02:00,520
You're missing all the... knowledge.
1446
01:02:00,522 --> 01:02:01,985
What's on your hand? Nothing.
1447
01:02:01,988 --> 01:02:04,819
Let me see. No. Uh, uh, mm...
1448
01:02:04,821 --> 01:02:06,852
Really?
1449
01:02:06,854 --> 01:02:09,088
Uh, Tiberius Julius Aquila...
1450
01:02:10,653 --> 01:02:12,517
No! It's not that big a deal!
1451
01:02:12,519 --> 01:02:13,517
Don't! Just let...
1452
01:02:13,519 --> 01:02:15,017
I don't like it!
1453
01:02:15,019 --> 01:02:16,950
See what you made me do?
1454
01:02:16,952 --> 01:02:19,482
Listen to the guide!
1455
01:02:19,484 --> 01:02:21,850
Now we're going to move on to the Agora.
1456
01:02:21,852 --> 01:02:26,581
Oh, no! Oh, no!
1457
01:02:26,583 --> 01:02:29,651
Oh... Yes!
1458
01:02:31,517 --> 01:02:34,015
This was built by the Antonine family
1459
01:02:34,017 --> 01:02:39,014
during the reign of Marcus
Aurelius around 160 A.D.
1460
01:02:42,681 --> 01:02:48,645
Oh! Oh, God. Oh! Uhh!
1461
01:02:48,647 --> 01:02:52,511
Unfortunately, the water is not drinkable
1462
01:02:52,514 --> 01:02:54,781
because the Romans were
known to use lead pipes.
1463
01:02:57,978 --> 01:02:59,414
Thirsty?
1464
01:03:00,678 --> 01:03:07,842
Beautiful stonework. So old.
1465
01:03:07,844 --> 01:03:09,877
Moving on.
1466
01:03:28,042 --> 01:03:31,038
What's really going on?
1467
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:33,104
It really is beautiful, isn't it?
1468
01:03:33,106 --> 01:03:37,172
It's all right. I'm more of an Obelisk guy.
1469
01:03:37,174 --> 01:03:41,171
I mean, fountains are cool, too.
1470
01:03:41,173 --> 01:03:44,703
I've dreamt about this
fountain for two years.
1471
01:03:44,705 --> 01:03:46,603
I made it my screensaver.
1472
01:03:46,605 --> 01:03:49,969
I scrapbooked. I left my
1473
01:03:49,971 --> 01:03:51,702
jewelry on a dresser every night
1474
01:03:51,704 --> 01:03:55,534
so that he could get my
ring size without asking.
1475
01:03:55,536 --> 01:03:57,668
God, I'm an idiot.
1476
01:03:57,670 --> 01:03:59,700
No, that was actually really smart.
1477
01:03:59,702 --> 01:04:04,533
I worked so hard and I
sacrificed so much and now
1478
01:04:04,535 --> 01:04:09,632
I'm standing here alone with nothing.
1479
01:04:09,634 --> 01:04:11,598
No one is ever gonna propose to me
1480
01:04:11,600 --> 01:04:14,034
in front of this stupid fountain.
1481
01:04:19,599 --> 01:04:22,533
Well, maybe Josh won't.
1482
01:04:24,531 --> 01:04:25,996
But I can.
1483
01:04:25,998 --> 01:04:28,797
Look, Amy, I know this is crazy,
1484
01:04:28,799 --> 01:04:30,164
but you have a dream to be proposed to
1485
01:04:30,166 --> 01:04:32,860
in front of this fountain
and I have a ring.
1486
01:04:32,863 --> 01:04:35,528
How perfect is that? Joshua.
1487
01:04:35,530 --> 01:04:38,160
This has been the most
amazing week of my entire life.
1488
01:04:38,163 --> 01:04:39,859
And I know you feel it, too.
1489
01:04:39,861 --> 01:04:41,027
Please don't do this.
1490
01:04:41,029 --> 01:04:43,026
It's a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.
1491
01:04:43,028 --> 01:04:47,463
Amy Elizabeth Tyler, let's do this.
1492
01:04:51,428 --> 01:04:55,924
Ah, crap! No! No, no! Where is it?
1493
01:04:55,926 --> 01:04:58,561
No! You mean this?
1494
01:04:59,958 --> 01:05:01,491
Why do you have my ring?
1495
01:05:01,493 --> 01:05:03,491
Don't you mean Tiffany's ring?
1496
01:05:03,493 --> 01:05:05,524
Okay, that's fair. I can explain.
1497
01:05:05,526 --> 01:05:07,689
Explain what? That you have a girlfriend?
1498
01:05:07,691 --> 01:05:09,823
That you have an
engagement ring in your bag?
1499
01:05:09,825 --> 01:05:11,489
That you slept with me and lied to me?
1500
01:05:11,491 --> 01:05:13,922
Whoa, I never lied to you.
1501
01:05:13,924 --> 01:05:16,088
You never told me. That's the same thing!
1502
01:05:16,090 --> 01:05:17,854
You never asked! All you cared about
1503
01:05:17,856 --> 01:05:20,020
was that my name was Josh
Merit and I had a passport.
1504
01:05:20,022 --> 01:05:21,155
You didn't even know I spoke Turkish!
1505
01:05:21,157 --> 01:05:23,753
This is a little different.
1506
01:05:23,755 --> 01:05:25,685
We both wanted an escape from our lives
1507
01:05:25,688 --> 01:05:27,019
and we didn't ask questions.
1508
01:05:27,021 --> 01:05:29,619
I lost everything in a matter of weeks.
1509
01:05:29,621 --> 01:05:32,851
My world was spiraling out
of control, so I panicked.
1510
01:05:32,853 --> 01:05:36,151
I proposed. And I lost
the one thing I had left.
1511
01:05:36,153 --> 01:05:39,519
Lost her how? She wrote
on your wall yesterday.
1512
01:05:39,521 --> 01:05:40,684
What are you talking about?
1513
01:05:40,686 --> 01:05:42,984
Tiffany said she needed time and space.
1514
01:05:42,986 --> 01:05:45,682
We lived together! What
does that even mean?
1515
01:05:45,684 --> 01:05:49,417
The next day I got an e-mail
offering me a two week vacation.
1516
01:05:49,419 --> 01:05:51,817
I couldn't be there, so I
packed a bag and came here.
1517
01:05:51,819 --> 01:05:54,616
And jumped into bed with
the first available girl.
1518
01:05:54,618 --> 01:05:56,516
Oh, please. I didn't
expect to sleep with you.
1519
01:05:56,518 --> 01:05:58,148
On the first day, I
didn't expect to like you.
1520
01:05:58,150 --> 01:06:01,014
So, a week later, you propose to me?
1521
01:06:01,016 --> 01:06:03,579
You can't just decide things, Joshua.
1522
01:06:03,581 --> 01:06:05,947
Feelings aren't something you decide, Amy.
1523
01:06:05,949 --> 01:06:08,580
Or plan. Or make up.
1524
01:06:08,582 --> 01:06:10,413
You were crying. I had a ring.
1525
01:06:10,415 --> 01:06:11,846
What do you expect me to do?
1526
01:06:11,848 --> 01:06:14,146
I expect you to tell me
you have a girlfriend!
1527
01:06:14,148 --> 01:06:15,677
Well, I expect you to tell me
1528
01:06:15,679 --> 01:06:17,677
that you took a $3,000 ring from my bag.
1529
01:06:17,679 --> 01:06:20,510
I don't want your ring. I want an apology!
1530
01:06:20,513 --> 01:06:22,811
Okay, I'm sorry! Now, give it back.
1531
01:06:22,814 --> 01:06:25,576
It's stuck. You think I want
this piece of crap on me?
1532
01:06:25,578 --> 01:06:27,076
Did you try soap and water?
1533
01:06:27,078 --> 01:06:28,943
Why do you think I was
in the shower for so long?
1534
01:06:28,945 --> 01:06:30,009
Because you're a girl!
1535
01:06:30,011 --> 01:06:31,676
So what do we do now?
1536
01:06:31,678 --> 01:06:33,776
I don't know! You're always
the one with the plan!
1537
01:06:33,778 --> 01:06:35,575
Well, you're the one who's
so good at improvising.
1538
01:06:35,577 --> 01:06:37,377
So, improvise!
1539
01:06:45,143 --> 01:06:47,673
Hold still, you'll hurt the ring.
1540
01:06:47,675 --> 01:06:49,506
Thank you for your concern.
1541
01:06:49,508 --> 01:06:52,440
About 1.2 carats. Nice cut.
1542
01:06:52,442 --> 01:06:54,572
What kind of grade is the stone? F?
1543
01:06:54,574 --> 01:06:55,640
It's E, actually.
1544
01:06:55,642 --> 01:06:57,104
Can we back to... Ow.
1545
01:06:57,106 --> 01:06:59,571
The ring is too tight
to be removed by hand.
1546
01:06:59,573 --> 01:07:02,072
I think the lack of circulation is making
1547
01:07:02,074 --> 01:07:03,505
her finger swell too much.
1548
01:07:03,507 --> 01:07:05,070
- Then we'll cut it off.
- My finger?
1549
01:07:05,072 --> 01:07:06,736
Should fix the circulation problem.
1550
01:07:06,739 --> 01:07:09,804
You want me to saw through the band?
1551
01:07:09,806 --> 01:07:10,903
Yes. No.
1552
01:07:10,905 --> 01:07:12,602
Easy there,
1553
01:07:12,604 --> 01:07:14,568
- jigsaw killer.
- It's the only way
1554
01:07:14,570 --> 01:07:15,935
to cut the platinum and save the setting.
1555
01:07:15,938 --> 01:07:17,968
Oh, platinum. Fancy.
1556
01:07:17,970 --> 01:07:19,734
Can't we just wait and see
if her finger falls off?
1557
01:07:19,736 --> 01:07:21,435
Why are you two even engaged?
1558
01:07:21,438 --> 01:07:22,668
We're not.
- We're not.
1559
01:07:24,102 --> 01:07:27,336
It's your ring. It's your problem.
1560
01:07:34,169 --> 01:07:37,098
All right, hold still. This
will only take a minute.
1561
01:07:37,100 --> 01:07:38,699
Like your decision to marry me?
1562
01:07:38,701 --> 01:07:40,635
You're still wearing the ring.
1563
01:07:58,664 --> 01:08:00,529
There we go.
1564
01:08:00,531 --> 01:08:03,460
First side, now the other. See?
1565
01:08:03,463 --> 01:08:04,761
Nothing to worry about.
1566
01:08:04,764 --> 01:08:06,826
Nothing to worry about?
1567
01:08:06,828 --> 01:08:08,927
Everything's a mess, Joshua.
1568
01:08:08,929 --> 01:08:11,860
Well, sometimes life gets messy, Amy.
1569
01:08:11,863 --> 01:08:13,926
It doesn't follow your perfect little plan
1570
01:08:13,928 --> 01:08:15,426
and you have to just go with it.
1571
01:08:15,428 --> 01:08:16,859
Well, that's convenient,
coming from the guy
1572
01:08:16,861 --> 01:08:18,025
who put me in this situation.
1573
01:08:18,027 --> 01:08:20,425
You put us here, Amy.
1574
01:08:20,427 --> 01:08:22,424
You know, that's your problem.
1575
01:08:22,426 --> 01:08:26,157
This whole trip... Your plan, Amy. Yours.
1576
01:08:26,159 --> 01:08:27,524
None of this is what I planned.
1577
01:08:27,526 --> 01:08:29,459
Yeah? Me neither.
1578
01:08:31,126 --> 01:08:33,923
The funny part about being
spontaneous is it means
1579
01:08:33,925 --> 01:08:35,756
you actually have to
commit to your decisions.
1580
01:08:35,758 --> 01:08:39,022
Why don't we ask Tiffany
about your commitment?
1581
01:08:39,024 --> 01:08:42,521
You know, you just rejected me and now
1582
01:08:42,523 --> 01:08:44,653
I'm destroying the most
valuable thing I own,
1583
01:08:44,655 --> 01:08:47,520
because you're right. That's what I do.
1584
01:08:47,522 --> 01:08:49,588
I drop everything to help you.
1585
01:08:49,590 --> 01:08:51,586
Help my students. Help my dog.
1586
01:08:51,589 --> 01:08:53,853
- How'd that work out for you?
- Wow.
1587
01:08:53,855 --> 01:08:56,422
I work with kids and you're the
most selfish person I've ever met.
1588
01:09:05,688 --> 01:09:08,518
You still have your return ticket?
1589
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:10,483
Unless you took it out of my bag.
1590
01:09:10,485 --> 01:09:12,483
Then I suggest you go home.
1591
01:09:12,485 --> 01:09:15,352
I never should've left.
1592
01:09:29,682 --> 01:09:31,781
I need to exchange this
ticket for the next flight.
1593
01:09:31,783 --> 01:09:35,513
Okay. You'll fly standby.
1594
01:09:35,515 --> 01:09:37,413
It's gate 23 over there.
1595
01:09:37,415 --> 01:09:39,779
- What do I do with this one?
- Nothing.
1596
01:09:39,781 --> 01:09:41,449
Useless now.
1597
01:10:26,473 --> 01:10:29,774
Hey, Tiffany. Can I come in?
1598
01:10:40,904 --> 01:10:42,801
It's very lovely.
1599
01:10:42,803 --> 01:10:44,103
Excuse me?
1600
01:10:44,105 --> 01:10:45,401
Your bracelet.
1601
01:10:45,403 --> 01:10:48,669
Oh. Thank you.
1602
01:10:48,671 --> 01:10:50,101
Boyfriend?
1603
01:10:50,103 --> 01:10:54,400
No. From a stranger, actually.
1604
01:10:54,402 --> 01:10:57,101
Strangers can sometimes be
more important than we know.
1605
01:10:57,103 --> 01:11:00,499
Not this one. He's unpredictable.
1606
01:11:00,501 --> 01:11:03,499
And unreliable.
1607
01:11:03,501 --> 01:11:05,666
I organized the perfect vacation
1608
01:11:05,668 --> 01:11:07,765
and he couldn't just
relax and enjoy the plan.
1609
01:11:07,767 --> 01:11:12,498
I understand. My life started with a plan.
1610
01:11:12,500 --> 01:11:16,797
I was introduced to a boy named
Manish when I was six years old.
1611
01:11:16,799 --> 01:11:19,129
We were to be married when he was 18.
1612
01:11:19,131 --> 01:11:22,130
We were both so young and so scared.
1613
01:11:22,132 --> 01:11:25,128
We had nothing in common.
1614
01:11:25,130 --> 01:11:29,661
On our wedding day, we have
a ceremony called Shaka Paula
1615
01:11:29,664 --> 01:11:32,061
where the groom gives the bride
1616
01:11:32,064 --> 01:11:37,493
a symbol of a long and lasting marriage.
1617
01:11:37,495 --> 01:11:40,992
- A bracelet.
- He was just a stranger.
1618
01:11:40,994 --> 01:11:44,559
And with a bracelet, he
became my best friend.
1619
01:11:44,561 --> 01:11:47,057
Don't the differences make you crazy?
1620
01:11:47,059 --> 01:11:50,958
Why would I want to be married to myself?
1621
01:11:50,960 --> 01:11:54,924
With Manish, every day is an adventure.
1622
01:11:54,926 --> 01:11:56,924
I'm jealous.
1623
01:11:56,926 --> 01:11:59,056
You have the security
of knowing your future.
1624
01:11:59,058 --> 01:12:02,056
Nobody knows their future.
1625
01:12:02,058 --> 01:12:05,824
I just knew who I wanted to spend it with.
1626
01:12:10,523 --> 01:12:13,121
I can't believe this.
1627
01:12:13,123 --> 01:12:15,421
You've gotta be kidding me. So, you, like,
1628
01:12:15,423 --> 01:12:18,588
just went to Europe for two
weeks without telling me?
1629
01:12:18,590 --> 01:12:20,420
You said you needed time
and space to think about it.
1630
01:12:20,422 --> 01:12:22,786
Not with another woman!
1631
01:12:22,789 --> 01:12:23,920
You have every right to be upset.
1632
01:12:23,922 --> 01:12:25,685
Thank you for your permission.
1633
01:12:25,688 --> 01:12:27,985
Hey, I mean, you clearly
found someone else, too.
1634
01:12:27,988 --> 01:12:29,485
Can I go?
1635
01:12:29,488 --> 01:12:31,352
Will you leave him out of this?
1636
01:12:31,354 --> 01:12:33,018
I just wanted to do the right thing
1637
01:12:33,020 --> 01:12:36,683
and let you know that I
realized we're not in love.
1638
01:12:36,685 --> 01:12:39,982
Of course we're not,
Joshua. We're comfortable.
1639
01:12:39,984 --> 01:12:41,682
I'm not comfortable.
1640
01:12:41,684 --> 01:12:43,817
Wait, but I proposed.
1641
01:12:43,819 --> 01:12:45,116
Well, I didn't say, "Yes."
1642
01:12:45,118 --> 01:12:46,449
Well, you didn't say, "No."
1643
01:12:46,451 --> 01:12:47,817
Well, I didn't wanna hurt you.
1644
01:12:47,819 --> 01:12:49,448
That's actually really sweet.
1645
01:12:49,450 --> 01:12:50,614
Hey, thank you.
1646
01:12:50,616 --> 01:12:52,749
Will you just stay out of it, man?
1647
01:12:52,751 --> 01:12:55,081
Look, I still cared about you, dude.
1648
01:12:55,083 --> 01:12:58,348
You lost your dog. And
then your job. That sucked.
1649
01:12:58,350 --> 01:13:01,814
But you're always doing crazy
stuff and changing your mind.
1650
01:13:01,816 --> 01:13:07,513
And I didn't wanna be a jerk.
But I didn't wanna marry you.
1651
01:13:07,515 --> 01:13:09,746
And I just figured if
I gave you enough time,
1652
01:13:09,748 --> 01:13:12,346
maybe you'd figure it out.
1653
01:13:12,348 --> 01:13:15,078
I'm sorry.
1654
01:13:15,080 --> 01:13:16,911
Well what was your plan if
you weren't gonna marry me?
1655
01:13:16,914 --> 01:13:21,576
There was no plan. We were just having fun.
1656
01:13:21,578 --> 01:13:22,776
And then we changed.
1657
01:13:22,778 --> 01:13:25,644
We didn't change, we drifted.
1658
01:13:25,646 --> 01:13:28,509
You grew up. But I don't want to.
1659
01:13:28,511 --> 01:13:31,841
I still wanna be young and fun and crazy.
1660
01:13:31,843 --> 01:13:33,741
Maybe I'll go to grad school.
1661
01:13:33,743 --> 01:13:35,742
Maybe I'll go to Europe with strangers.
1662
01:13:35,744 --> 01:13:37,841
- You wanna go to Europe?
- Shh.
1663
01:13:37,843 --> 01:13:39,907
Strangers.
1664
01:13:39,909 --> 01:13:41,641
I just can't be locked into a plan.
1665
01:13:41,643 --> 01:13:43,641
Maybe a plan is a good thing.
1666
01:13:43,643 --> 01:13:46,605
Wow. Who's this Joshua?
1667
01:13:46,607 --> 01:13:48,639
You must have had one hell of a vacation.
1668
01:13:48,641 --> 01:13:50,971
Yeah, well, it's over now.
1669
01:13:50,973 --> 01:13:54,638
It came to an end.
1670
01:13:54,640 --> 01:13:56,440
Doesn't have to.
1671
01:13:57,640 --> 01:13:59,707
Oh, my God.
1672
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:05,071
You're right!
1673
01:14:05,073 --> 01:14:07,036
Wait, where are you going?
1674
01:14:07,039 --> 01:14:08,469
I have a plane to catch.
1675
01:14:08,471 --> 01:14:10,003
- Wait, can I have the ring?
- No.
1676
01:14:10,005 --> 01:14:11,834
Why would I... What?
1677
01:14:13,903 --> 01:14:15,671
Do you do laundry?
1678
01:14:17,670 --> 01:14:20,603
Oh, come on, Marcie!
1679
01:14:55,764 --> 01:14:58,394
Today on "What's Trending,"
we have a Viner named Joshua
1680
01:14:58,396 --> 01:15:01,660
posting pictures and video
of himself jumping into water
1681
01:15:01,663 --> 01:15:06,427
around the world, heartbroken
over a travel vlogger named Amy.
1682
01:15:06,429 --> 01:15:07,994
On all of Josh's video love letters,
1683
01:15:07,996 --> 01:15:10,326
he writes the message, hashtag,
1684
01:15:10,328 --> 01:15:12,626
"You Make Me Wanna Jump Into The Ocean."
1685
01:15:12,628 --> 01:15:14,093
Some top comments.
1686
01:15:14,095 --> 01:15:17,395
This from @SupervisorSam who says...
1687
01:15:20,427 --> 01:15:22,394
And @Julia93 writes...
1688
01:15:25,992 --> 01:15:28,555
Now, I don't wanna jump to any conclusions,
1689
01:15:28,557 --> 01:15:31,390
but it seems like Joshua is going viral.
1690
01:15:31,392 --> 01:15:32,723
Some words of advice though.
1691
01:15:32,725 --> 01:15:35,392
Better soak it up while you can, Joshua.
1692
01:15:36,823 --> 01:15:39,622
I mean, hemp milk is the new coconut milk.
1693
01:15:39,624 --> 01:15:43,322
- Hey, Sandra, did you see the jumper?
- Person or sweater?
1694
01:15:43,324 --> 01:15:45,053
No, this guy is jumping in bodies of water
1695
01:15:45,055 --> 01:15:46,721
all over the world, professing his love
1696
01:15:46,723 --> 01:15:48,652
for this travel vlogger named Amy.
1697
01:15:48,654 --> 01:15:50,653
My Amy? Who knows?
1698
01:15:50,655 --> 01:15:52,719
But he's got over 4
million followers on Vine.
1699
01:15:52,721 --> 01:15:53,985
Holy sh...
1700
01:15:58,886 --> 01:16:01,383
Hi! So, remember how we're best friends
1701
01:16:01,385 --> 01:16:03,550
and I let you crash on my
couch and I would do anything
1702
01:16:03,552 --> 01:16:05,418
for you and you would do anything for me?
1703
01:16:05,420 --> 01:16:06,750
What do you want?
1704
01:16:06,752 --> 01:16:08,317
Have you seen YouTube?
1705
01:16:08,319 --> 01:16:09,550
In general?
1706
01:16:09,552 --> 01:16:11,650
Girl you're famous.
1707
01:16:11,652 --> 01:16:14,482
- Oh, no, what did you do?
- No, it's Joshua.
1708
01:16:14,484 --> 01:16:16,948
He's trying to look for
you and it's going viral!
1709
01:16:16,950 --> 01:16:19,548
He's all over Tumblr.
There's a meme of you.
1710
01:16:19,550 --> 01:16:22,380
It's like this parody song.
1711
01:16:22,382 --> 01:16:23,714
You should just see it.
1712
01:16:23,716 --> 01:16:26,047
Wait, how did I become a meme?
1713
01:16:26,049 --> 01:16:27,713
Nobody knows how it works.
1714
01:16:27,715 --> 01:16:29,946
Look, I just need to book
you on my show, today.
1715
01:16:29,948 --> 01:16:33,478
- Wait, what?
- Did you miss the part where you're Internet famous?
1716
01:16:33,480 --> 01:16:36,546
"Amy's Adventures" is getting
millions of views out of this!
1717
01:16:36,548 --> 01:16:38,446
Well, what am I supposed
to talk about on your show?
1718
01:16:38,448 --> 01:16:41,545
I don't care! Look, Joshua is running
1719
01:16:41,547 --> 01:16:42,710
all over the world, drowning himself.
1720
01:16:42,713 --> 01:16:43,977
I need to cover this story
1721
01:16:43,979 --> 01:16:46,610
and my best friend is the exclusive.
1722
01:16:46,613 --> 01:16:50,842
Look you know I would be there
for you as a friend, but...
1723
01:16:50,844 --> 01:16:52,510
Do you need to make a pro and con list?
1724
01:16:52,513 --> 01:16:54,809
No, it's just...
1725
01:16:54,811 --> 01:16:57,508
I've spent the last three months
trying to forget about Joshua.
1726
01:16:57,510 --> 01:16:58,875
Well, do you think you could remember him
1727
01:16:58,877 --> 01:17:00,408
in the next three minutes?
1728
01:17:00,410 --> 01:17:01,975
Three minutes? You can't
give me more than that?
1729
01:17:01,977 --> 01:17:03,641
It's the Internet, Amy.
1730
01:17:03,643 --> 01:17:05,840
15 seconds of fame
literally means 15 seconds.
1731
01:17:05,842 --> 01:17:06,940
Come on, please?
1732
01:17:06,942 --> 01:17:10,806
I'll let you promote Spontaneous.
1733
01:17:10,808 --> 01:17:13,473
What's up, Percolators?
Today's "Expresso Yourself"
1734
01:17:13,475 --> 01:17:15,472
is served up live and exclusive.
1735
01:17:15,474 --> 01:17:17,772
My guest proves what
any electrical engineer
1736
01:17:17,774 --> 01:17:20,772
could've told us... to break
the Internet, just add water.
1737
01:17:20,774 --> 01:17:22,604
So, Amy, let's dive in.
1738
01:17:22,606 --> 01:17:25,504
Tell the people why this Joshua person
1739
01:17:25,506 --> 01:17:27,638
is traveling around the
world, looking for you.
1740
01:17:27,640 --> 01:17:29,570
But you know the story. Amy!
1741
01:17:29,572 --> 01:17:32,902
Oh, sorry. Well, I'm a Global Concierge
1742
01:17:32,904 --> 01:17:34,435
for Spontaneous Travel.
1743
01:17:34,438 --> 01:17:36,303
Thumbs up if you don't know what that is.
1744
01:17:36,305 --> 01:17:39,568
And, um, three months
ago, I invited a stranger
1745
01:17:39,570 --> 01:17:42,501
from the Internet on a
discount trip across Europe.
1746
01:17:42,503 --> 01:17:44,833
That sounds like a plot to a horror film!
1747
01:17:44,835 --> 01:17:47,932
Well, it was at first. We
almost killed each other.
1748
01:17:47,934 --> 01:17:49,600
Seriously, like, he almost
chopped off her hand.
1749
01:17:49,602 --> 01:17:52,333
Finger. It was complicated.
1750
01:17:52,335 --> 01:17:54,566
Joshua and I met at a bad time.
1751
01:17:54,568 --> 01:17:56,766
We were both running away from something,
1752
01:17:56,768 --> 01:17:59,332
but instead, we found each other.
1753
01:17:59,334 --> 01:18:01,997
Yet, here you are, months later,
1754
01:18:01,999 --> 01:18:03,998
being courted by a guy whose mating call
1755
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:07,498
is the world's loneliest
wet t-shirt contest.
1756
01:18:07,500 --> 01:18:08,965
So, Amy, what happened?
1757
01:18:08,967 --> 01:18:11,896
Is Joshua the one that got away?
1758
01:18:11,898 --> 01:18:18,495
Well, the truth is, I messed up.
1759
01:18:18,497 --> 01:18:23,060
I thought if I was organized
and focused and safe
1760
01:18:23,063 --> 01:18:26,660
that I could control the
future and avoid getting hurt.
1761
01:18:26,663 --> 01:18:30,893
But life has a plan of its own.
1762
01:18:30,895 --> 01:18:34,993
Look, I don't know where Joshua
is or why he's making these GIFs.
1763
01:18:34,995 --> 01:18:36,660
It's pronounced "jiffs."
1764
01:18:36,663 --> 01:18:38,993
We shared this incredible
1765
01:18:38,995 --> 01:18:43,493
life-changing experience together.
1766
01:18:43,495 --> 01:18:47,492
But it's over now. It ended.
1767
01:18:47,494 --> 01:18:48,823
Well, you know what they say.
1768
01:18:48,825 --> 01:18:50,990
- Vacation always comes to...
- No!
1769
01:18:50,992 --> 01:18:52,822
Who actually says that?
1770
01:18:52,824 --> 01:18:54,989
I always thought that
was part of growing up.
1771
01:18:54,991 --> 01:18:57,322
The vacation ends. The honeymoon is over.
1772
01:18:57,324 --> 01:18:59,390
Death and taxes. But I searched for it,
1773
01:18:59,392 --> 01:19:01,756
and it's not an actual saying.
1774
01:19:01,758 --> 01:19:05,588
Happiness doesn't have to
be temporary or special.
1775
01:19:05,590 --> 01:19:07,655
There's no reason your
whole life can't feel
1776
01:19:07,657 --> 01:19:09,788
like a vacation if you
find the right person.
1777
01:19:09,790 --> 01:19:12,453
- Got him!
- Okay. All right. Thank you.
1778
01:19:12,455 --> 01:19:14,819
Yeah, I can take it from here.
1779
01:19:14,821 --> 01:19:17,586
Joshua.
1780
01:19:17,589 --> 01:19:19,053
What are you doing here?
1781
01:19:19,055 --> 01:19:20,885
I didn't pay my parking tickets.
1782
01:19:20,888 --> 01:19:23,652
Now would be a good time to make a speech.
1783
01:19:23,654 --> 01:19:24,885
Okay.
1784
01:19:24,888 --> 01:19:26,951
Uh look, Amy.
1785
01:19:26,953 --> 01:19:31,617
When we got separated, I
couldn't go back to my old life.
1786
01:19:31,619 --> 01:19:33,583
I wanted to fix things.
1787
01:19:33,585 --> 01:19:37,316
Joshua why don't you come talk
about that over here, on camera?
1788
01:19:37,318 --> 01:19:39,615
I didn't have your number,
so I couldn't call you.
1789
01:19:39,617 --> 01:19:42,649
I didn't know where you lived,
so I couldn't go to your house.
1790
01:19:42,651 --> 01:19:45,381
So, I went to the one place
I knew I would find you.
1791
01:19:45,383 --> 01:19:49,016
The Internet. I filled up every corner
1792
01:19:49,018 --> 01:19:50,814
that I thought would get your attention.
1793
01:19:50,816 --> 01:19:53,979
I mean, I showed millions of
people how I feel about you.
1794
01:19:53,981 --> 01:19:55,713
But you didn't say it to me.
1795
01:19:55,715 --> 01:19:58,879
I tried. I just wanted to finish the plan.
1796
01:19:58,881 --> 01:20:00,978
Well, sometimes the plan changes.
1797
01:20:00,980 --> 01:20:02,811
I don't want it to.
1798
01:20:02,814 --> 01:20:05,313
I wanna go back to the way things were,
1799
01:20:05,315 --> 01:20:07,378
when you grabbed my hand
and jumped in the water
1800
01:20:07,380 --> 01:20:09,577
and changed my life forever.
1801
01:20:09,579 --> 01:20:11,778
Amy, we didn't fall in the ocean.
1802
01:20:11,780 --> 01:20:14,476
We fell in love.
1803
01:20:14,478 --> 01:20:18,643
And I will keep jumping
and jumping and jumping
1804
01:20:18,645 --> 01:20:20,745
if it gets me back to you.
1805
01:20:24,645 --> 01:20:27,441
Can someone turn off the cameras, please?
1806
01:20:27,443 --> 01:20:28,877
On it.
1807
01:20:42,307 --> 01:20:44,871
You think you can give
Josh Merit a third chance?
1808
01:20:44,873 --> 01:20:50,871
No. I'm giving Michael
Merit a shot instead.
1809
01:20:50,873 --> 01:20:52,704
- I'm not really a Michael.
- I felt that.
1810
01:20:52,706 --> 01:20:53,807
Okay.
1811
01:20:56,773 --> 01:20:58,936
If you guys could wrap
this up, there's a line.
1812
01:20:58,939 --> 01:21:01,869
What is the hold up? Come on.
1813
01:21:01,871 --> 01:21:03,869
What is the hold-up?
1814
01:21:03,871 --> 01:21:05,769
I'm gonna show you a hold-up.
1815
01:21:05,771 --> 01:21:08,801
So, what's the plan?
1816
01:21:08,803 --> 01:21:11,736
We make it up.
1817
01:22:12,993 --> 01:22:14,791
Hey, adventurers.
1818
01:22:14,793 --> 01:22:18,257
Apparently, Joshua has
a little surprise for me.
1819
01:22:18,259 --> 01:22:20,824
- I planned us a trip.
- You planned.
1820
01:22:20,826 --> 01:22:23,623
- I asked Robert to plan, but it didn't go very well.
- Oh, no.
1821
01:22:23,625 --> 01:22:24,990
- Where are we going? This is...
- Uh...
1822
01:22:24,992 --> 01:22:27,258
Why don't you find out?
1823
01:22:32,256 --> 01:22:33,323
- We're going to...
- We're going to...
1824
01:22:34,534 --> 01:22:40,093
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