Original subtitles

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[clock ticking]

[pen clicks, writes]

[pen clicks]

-We are going to hire you. -Ah.

[woman] The job is seven days a week, from 8:00 a.m. until 7:00 p.m.

It pays 800 euros a month. You're responsible for meals and uniform.

Meal vouchers are supplied, but you'll return them the next day.

No, that's great. Thanks. Vouchers don't really make sense anyway.

-They hold up the line at the supermarket. -[baby crying]

You said five minutes.

He's still crying!

Here, take him back.

-No, no, no, no. -That's better.

Here's his bottle and the baby carrier.

[man 1] Thank you.

-[door closes] -Sorry, I couldn't find a sitter.

So I brought him with 'cause I didn't wanna miss the interview.

You have someone you can leave him with in the future, right?

You have a partner, don't you?

Uh… ah, no, I don't.

He doesn't have a mother because…

She ran away and left him.

But… look, I really need this job.

[baby coos]

I'm getting hounded by the social workers. I beg you.

And he's only got me.

He's a quiet baby. Sometimes he goes to work with me.

I'm a dishwasher, and he just sits there quietly and doesn't move.

-[thud] -Oh! Look. Caught him! Where ya going?

-[baby cries] -Next applicant, please!

[rhythmic music playing]

Let's hope Uncle had better luck.

-He had an interview today too. -[ringtone] Vito, pick up!

-It's your brother. The handsome one! -There he is. Hope he has good news.

We're about due for some. Hey!

Vito, it's an emergency!

Pick me up at the Municipio Tunnel exit as soon as you can!

-[man] Bastard! Come here! If I catch you… -My God, they are such brutes!

[shouts] Move!

-If I catch you, I'll kill you! -Excuse me!

["Zezzenella is over" by Morfuco & Tonico 70 playing]

-[panting] -[motorcycle honking]

Whoa! Vito, Vito! Slow down! Okay, I'm on. Go, go, go, go, go!

-Hey, you! -See you later, guys!

-Hi, Napoleon! -[Vito] Yeah, hi.

Come on, Vito! Don't give me that look.

It's not my fault they're fools!

They should know better than to buy a phone

after it's been switched out with a bar of soap, right?

You really gotta stop with this phone scam, you hear me?

-Wow! -Yeah, "wow." Exactly.

[music continues]

[boy 1] Come on. Pass me the ball.

[music fades]

Here we are, little baby.

Come on, get off.

Okay. Hold Napoleon for a minute.

Oh!

-Go with Uncle. -Hey, all right now.

Uncle's gonna hold you for a minute. Just let him hold you. Only for a minute.

How are you-- He's not a bag of zucchinis. Look how you're holding him.

Take him now, please. I don't know how to hold him.

[Vito] No, no. Come to Daddy.

He hates my guts, you know. Yeah, he really does.

Yeah, but I need to rely on you now.

So you gotta win him over, you know what I mean?

Okay, but we gotta split up the work, you know?

It's not like I'm gonna do it all, okay?

-Both of us. -Of course.

[woman] Don't worry.

Anna, Peppe! What are you doing? Are you moving out too?

Hey, Vito. They made us a pretty good offer.

Almost half of what we originally paid.

Huh? That doesn't sound so great.

They asked us too, but we're not selling.

How can you stay?

First, the cockroach infestation, then the plumbing fiasco.

And city hall just said the building's in danger of collapsing.

Oh, well, what can we say? Uh, best of luck to you. Yeah?

Best of luck, Anna. Best of luck, Peppe.

See you, Anna. Bye, Peppe.

[Anna] Hey, guys! You're gonna need luck more than we do.

-Thanks. -Oh my God.

-Oh man, she's gonna jinx us, am I right? -God, that's disturbing.

Right, baby?

Look, the leak has gotten bigger.

Use the umbrella.

Oh! Looks like the dude from city hall is back.

Again?

Hello there, sir.

Hello.

Don't worry.

That crack has been there ever since my grandfather built this building.

Yeah.

And it looks like your grandfather was the last person to do any maintenance!

-Goodbye! Have a good day! -[man] Bye!

Come on. Let's go.

Oh, well, the good news is that Luigino is still on the second floor.

-Nothing to worry about. -Nothing to worry about?

-Here we are. -We're back home. See?

-Hey! -See?

-Hi, guys. -[Vito] Hey, Luigino.

Can you guys take Gennarino? I can't take him to the new place with me.

Where would we put him, Luigino? Wait a minute. You're leaving too?

Everybody else left, and so should you. This place is nothing but problems.

Luigino, we grew up here, and we're not gonna move. Here.

[music plays on phone]

Not bad.

Of course, Uncle can't give us a hand, or else he'll get tired.

[music continues]

[Napoleon coos]

[doorbell rings]

The door!

[uncle] You go. I'm lying down.

Could you just do one thing I ask and get the door, please? One thing.

[groans]

Don't rush.

[uncle] I'm going. Who is it?

-[Napoleon coos] -[door opens]

-[man] Good morning. -[uncle] Morning.

-Who is it? -Priority mail for Antonello Esposito.

-It's the mail, okay? -And why didn't you tell me that?

Another one.

Oh my God.

What is it?

It's a fine. I'll pay it later.

A fine? You lost your license six months ago.

-Well, they keep coming. -[scoffs]

[Napoleon coos]

[Vito] Let me see.

[intriguing music playing]

-[Vito] Here you go, little one. -[Napoleon coos]

-Do you realize what the fuck this says! -What's it say?

It says that in less than a month, this place goes to auction.

-What did you do? -But why do you…

You always think it's my fault when things go wrong, huh? How come?

You tell me.

I don't have to take this. I'm gonna lie down. Okay?

Listen to me, half-wit!

Courts don't auction off houses for no reason, okay?

Is there something I should know?

Uh, I don't know.

Maybe these have something to do with it?

But they're unopened.

I was afraid.

You were afraid, huh?

-Huh. -Yes.

Okay, let's see who you're afraid of, huh?

-"De Leonardi Firm." -[sniffs]

[Vito] Who the hell are they?

Hey! Listen!

-It says you owe them 50,000 euros, man! -What?

Now do you see why they're auctioning our house?

FORECLOSURE

[Antonello] "Debt contracted with De Leonardi."

What the hell have I done?

That's the question I'm asking you! What the hell did you do?

[music fades]

[man] Vito, what can I tell you?

I've never heard of any De Leonardi.

Some guys asked me to find a few people to act as fronts.

Someone who owned property, so their business didn't seem too sketchy.

Your brother and I got 500 euros a month.

I had no idea they would take your house.

-It seemed like a quiet business. -Quiet? Seriously?

Do you think being used as a front is risk-free?

-Well… -So being a front man is somehow risky?

Yes, Salvatore, fraud is risky!

-[Antonello] All right. -I didn't know.

Antoné, we gotta meet with De Leonardi.

And, uh…

[Vito] We tell them what you and this genius were up to.

[indistinct chattering]

[footsteps approaching]

[woman] I've done everything I can do.

I let them know you're here to see them,

but the sales manager and Mr. De Leonardi are out of the office.

-His daughter's here. -[both] It's fine by us!

Yes, but there's no appointment available for over a month and a half.

-A month! -We need to speak with her now.

-It's an emergency. -I wouldn't. Her hair is up today.

That means she's stressed out.

Well, thank you.

I've been here six months. I've never seen her with her hair down.

Sheesh.

So basically, she's telling us she's been pissed off for months now.

It's probably an exaggeration.

They're employees. That's how a boss is supposed to act.

["Tiè Tiè" by DADA' playing]

So I always come to the office, even with a 101-degree fever,

and you guys can't even bother to send an email?

I mean, there are five of you.

There are eight hours in a workday,

and you couldn't even manage to send one damn email?

-She's a bit stressed. -Just a little bit, huh?

I want those documents on my desk by tomorrow morning!

That's her.

-Yeah, we saw the picture. She's in it. -We noticed.

[music continues]

-Let's go! -No! Wait a minute.

Her hair is up. She's not in a good mood.

Her hair is up! We're in trouble! Go!

Move it! We need to talk to her, or we'll lose the house.

Her hair's up.

[receptionist] I'm sorry, she's not in. I'll give her the message.

Yes, yes.

-I think you forgot something. -Hey!

-Mm-hmm. -Thank you. I'm sorry.

-See what you made me do? -Oh! But that was so nice of you.

Your timing is the worst. Excuse us. We're sorry.

[music resumes]

[Antonello] She's in the car! Run, run, run!

Someone stole our scooter!

-Someone stole our scooter! -Scooter's over there!

[music continues]

[Vito] As soon as she stops, we'll talk to her. Hope she understands.

[Antonello] Yes, she's gonna see the baby, and she'll stop the auction right away.

Don't worry, little Napoleon. Daddy's gonna fix it, okay?

They're turning! Stay on their tail!

[music continues]

Come on.

-There they are! Go! -I see 'em!

Ma'am, this way.

DE LEONARDI FOUNDATION CHARITY EVENT

[photographer] Sir, a picture, please.

-Wow! What a scene. -Good evening. Evening.

Good evening. Good evening.

-Look. They're taking our picture. See? -[Antonello] There she is!

Excuse us. Can we get through? We have a baby.

Excuse us. Evening.

-Good evening, gentlemen. -Good evening.

-[guard] You are? -[both] Uh…

-Sorrentino. -…tino.

Your name's not on the list.

-It should be. Let me check that list. -No, you're not on the list.

-We apologize. We just lied. -Come on. Really?

We need to speak with De Leonardi. It'll just take one minute.

-You need to step aside. -We need to talk to someone in there.

-Let's go. Step aside. -We'll be…

-What's your problem? -You're not on the list.

-No, we're not, but come on. -This behavior is unacceptable.

[man 1] A truly noble initiative.

[man 2] Thanks, but… but it's all my daughter Marina's doing.

I don't know how she can run the foundation

and still be the best in the studio.

Now she's working on a hotel

that's more like an experience than a building.

It's only a first step toward a broader plan

to redevelop the entire neighborhood.

That is the long-term goal, of course.

But without Mr. Spagnoli,

it would still be just a project sitting on my computer.

[chuckles] Well, that's not true.

I just take care of the administrative and financial side.

These two will take over one day and provide me with grandchildren

so I can finally retire.

-[man 1] I'll believe it when I see it. -Yes, you'll see.

-We're going to mingle. -[man 2] Okay. See you later.

-Enjoy. -[woman 1] Good evening.

[intriguing music playing]

-[woman 2] Good evening. -Evening.

-[man 3] Good evening. -They're letting in everyone except us.

Of course they won't let us in. You look like a thief in those shades.

[Antonello] A thief. [sighs]

-What now? -[man 4] It's a wonderful occasion.

I've got an idea. Come on, come on. Stick with me. Come this way.

You wanna talk to her? Humor me, okay?

[Vito] I'll humor you, but let's stay out of trouble.

-[Antonello] Hey, guys. -How's it going?

-He's with me. My brother. -All right.

-I'm with him. -[Antonello] Go, go, go, go, go!

-Bye. -Later.

[Vito] Yep!

[indistinct chattering]

[Napoleon coos]

-[Antonello] Go, go. -[Vito] Oh my God, Antoné. Check this out.

Wow! It looks like a wedding.

I've never seen anything like this before.

-[Antonello] Look here. -Sh.

Uh, listen. Hold Napoleon for a sec.

No, I can't do it, please.

-You can. I'm gonna scope things out. -Whenever I hold him, he cries.

He'll calm down. Why do you hold him like that?

-Hold him right. Come on. -[Antonello laughs]

Look what Uncle found!

A carousel!

-[baby crying] -Hey!

-[Vito] Be careful. -Get on the carousel. Look!

Look here!

[Vito] There she is, Antoné!

Antoné!

Antone!

-[Antonello] Yeah? What? -Come here, come here.

-[Vito] Look how elegant. -[Antonello] Gorgeous.

-She really cares about the poor. -They made it an exhibition.

That Indian kid in the picture. Look.

-[Vito] I'm gonna talk to her. -[Antonello] About what?

I'll tell her, "Miss De Leonardi, we were taken for a ride."

-Yes. -"And it's not your fault."

-No, no. -No.

-Let's hope she takes pity on us. -Yes!

-You're good at that. -Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yes!

-What? -[Vito] Napoleon.

-Oh shit! -Shit, Napoleon!

-[Vito] Go! Napoleon! -[upbeat jazz music playing]

[Antonello] Napoleon!

Wait, wait! Napoleon.

Okay, thank you.

[jazz music softens]

Oh my God. My dad won't stop talking about the project for the hotel.

[Vito] Excuse me, sorry.

And worse, we haven't even signed with the investors yet.

[jazz music intensifies]

He's just testing us with this hotel project.

And we're going to prove to him that he can retire in peace.

[Antonello] I'm sorry.

Yeah, but this event is supposed to be for charity.

Could he stop talking shop for five minutes? It's annoying.

[Antonello] Excuse me! Nothing!

Marina, we have to focus on our goal now and ignore everything else, okay?

All right? Focus. Focus.

[inhales sharply]

-Focus. -[Antonello] Napoleon!

-[Vito] Antoné! -What now?

Pardon me, miss!

[Vito] Excuse me a sec.

[guests murmuring]

[Vito] Daddy found you, see? How did you get in there?

Daddy won't ever leave you again. No, he won't.

-Thank you. -What's a baby doing there?

[exhales]

[jazz music subsides]

-[Antonello] Good evening, uh… -[guests gasp]

-Well, that was my fault. -[Marina] Seriously.

Such a troublemaker.

[waiter] I'm so sorry.

[waiter 2] I'm mortified. Are you hurt?

-Are you okay? Can I help? -[Marina] No, no, no.

[waiter 2] What have you done? Come here.

[Marina] I'm sorry. No, I'm fine.

[Spagnoli] I think it was the server's fault.

[Marina's father] It usually is.

[Spagnoli] That's true.

Be right back.

-[Marina] My purse? -Okay.

[Marina] It's fine.

-What the hell did you do? -What did I do? Nothing.

They're a family of assholes.

People like us are invisible to them. It's impossible to talk to them.

So we just give up, then? Lose the house and everything else?

I gotta go to work now.

Because what little I have, I've had to work for.

You need to fix this mess, Antoné.

You created it, you fix it. You hear me?

Go back inside and talk to her.

Hmm.

[motorcycle engine revs]

[Vito] Come here.

We'll stay here for a bit, yeah? So Daddy can go to work.

Do you like your little bed? Come here.

Okay. Beautiful boy. I brought you something.

-[Vito gasps] -[Napoleon coos]

What do you think? Traviata or Rigoletto?

Rigoletto. You're so cute, little one.

["La donna è mobile" playing]

[error buzz]

[music continues]

Hey!

I knew I could unlock it.

Look how rich they are.

Sitting pretty.

MARINA: TRANSFER DONE IT'S THE LEAST I COULD DO.

Charity.

Charity. Hmm.

[chuckles]

[laughs]

I figured it out! I'm a genius!

[music ends]

Hey, Vito.

Am I bothering you? Are you alone?

What is it?

Okay now.

Whose phone is that?

[Antonello] Don't get mad.

It's Marina De Leonardi's.

How did you get so stupid? Why did you take it?

It's an instinct.

[Vito] You have an instinct for bullshit! You're such an idiot!

Wait. Take that phone back to her immediately.

And what if I told you

that I wanted to fund charity projects with my foundation money?

And what if I told you you're drunk?

She wrote that at 5:45 p.m. on the 26th of February.

[Vito] Okay.

I spent the whole evening going through her phone.

-Didn't you tell me to find a solution? -Yeah.

Well, I figured it out.

Oh! She gives 10,000 euros a year to a dog shelter, all right?

-She does charity to clear her conscience. -Mm.

Because she's too lucky, you know?

All we gotta do is get her to give a big donation to us.

Got it? But how do we get that much money out of her?

We're obviously gonna have to gain her trust first.

Her trust. Right.

Are you aware that we need to stop fucking around?

This phone can be located. Take it back!

I turned off the GPS. I backed it up too.

Anyway, listen to me. She studied in London, right?

And came back to Naples, but she's always working.

-She has no friends. -Mm.

And then… then you show up.

Okay, so no friends, but what about the handsome boyfriend?

Handsome boyfriend.

Federico Spagnoli. Born in Naples in 1991.

Her father's right-hand man.

You should read their messages! They're so boring. All work-related.

[Vito sighs]

-Vito. -Yeah?

We know everything about her.

Lives with her father but wants to live with Federico.

Gets up every morning at 6:00. Does yoga twice a week.

And she's nuts about the singer Mengoni.

We'll get close to her by using this information.

She's starting to trust us. Gives us money that we give to her father.

-Antonello… -No, don't call me that, please.

That's your name. What else do I call you?

I know, but that's what they call me in court.

Use Antoné,

or Anto, or even Lello.

No, not Lello.

Because no one takes you seriously if your name is Lello.

Okay.

Lello,

this whole idea is a bunch of bullshit.

Hmm?

[snores softly, moans]

Vito.

Vito.

-Vito! -Huh, what?

Good morning. Coffee?

-Coffee? -Yes.

Drink it now. It's hot.

-Tuesday, Rich Girl… -Not again.

…will be looking at a house to buy.

It's the perfect opportunity to meet her.

I told you no.

I'm done with women after that bitch left me with Napoleon.

Am I clear?

[doorbell rings]

-That's the door? -What time is it?

-[Napoleon cries] -Who could it be?

The social workers! Get Napoleon! I'm gonna--

I have to get Napoleon?

Dress him in something cute! Just dress him!

Now he's awake.

Coming!

Forgive the mess, but the cleaning lady is on her way.

-[Antonello] One! -That's okay.

-Please. This way. Come in. -[shrill saxophone]

[Antonello] Two!

We're doing psychomotricity exercises for the baby. It helps with…

Napoleon, sweetie!

-Hi there! Good morning. -[woman] Good morning.

See? He's doing the exercises now for his psychomotricity to help him…

-It's theatrical for his… creativity. -It's true.

-To give him better awareness of things. -Better awareness and such.

More personality. Uh… for him.

-So he can learn to say no too. -Yes. And about his self in the world.

-Stop it. -[saxophone clatters]

-[Vito] Oh. Got it. -[man] And a job?

Huh? Have you found anything better, hmm?

Well, sir… still looking very hard.

Vito, full custody is very important.

But he should get some credit for choosing to raise the baby by himself, no?

After the mother went back to Norway?

Vito, the child needs perspective, stability,

and a part-time job won't be enough to guarantee that.

-I know. -[woman] We are aware of your commitment.

And being the owners of this house is of great benefit.

No one can take it from you, correct?

Course not. No one can take it.

Right, Antoné? [laughs nervously]

-It'll always be ours. -Always.

The final court hearing is in a month.

So we have to make very sure the judge doesn't get any bad news.

-[woman] All right. Have a good day. -No.

-[both] Thanks, ma'am. -I know the way. Thank you.

[Napoleon coos]

[door closes]

When did you say Rich Girl looks at the house?

On Tuesday.

SUNDAY - MONDAY TUESDAY - WEDNESDAY

["Gianna Oh" by Dashiki and DADA' playing]

Give me the picture.

It's too much. It's just too much. I like it, but it's too much.

-All right! Short sleeves? -[Antonello] Please!

[Salvatore] Too preppy.

-What about this? -[Salvatore] No!

-Too flashy? -You have to cover your tattoo!

-You have to cover it! It's vulgar! -I got it! You don't have to shout!

[Antonello] It's trashy!

-Peppino di Capri style? -That's even uglier. Come on now!

HOW YOU CAN HELP

"Nonprofit warter." Warter…

-How did you spell "water"? -Correctly.

You have to be a believable rich man. It'll give you a touch of… No?

Would you wear something like that?

-I would. -Well, I wouldn't.

-Put me next to 'em. -[Antonello] Here?

Yeah, next to him. So we're all together.

TUESDAY, 2:00 P.M. APARTMENT VIEWING PIAZZA DEI MARTIRI

[Napoleon babbles]

-[Antonello] Bite? -[music fades]

Name the major nonprofits.

Emergency, UNICEF, Greenpeace,

Doctors Without Borders, Legambiente, WWF.

Good job!

Fantastic!

How many times do you change Napoleon's diaper?

Every time it stinks.

-Every time it smells like shit? -[snaps fingers] Perfect.

How about this one?

"Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

you know nothing about, so be kind."

Uh, it's written on her coffee cup.

-[Antonello] Yes. -It's by Pluto.

Okay, Mickey Mouse! It's Plato!

Whatever! Pluto, Plato, same thing.

[Antonello] The Mandela quote?

"I believe in human beings who have the courage to be human."

[Salvatore] That's Mengoni!

Oh my God! Mengoni, Mandela, Pluto. I can't take any more.

No, you gotta study! You gotta study! Uh-oh! No, no, no! I got it!

[laughs]

Carlo?

Carlo?

Carlo, that's you! Turn around when I call!

What are you shouting at me for?

I shouted 'cause you didn't turn around! Ah, ah!

-Can't my name just be Vito? -Mmm. No!

Vito is the name of her dog that was run over when she was a kid.

-You want her to associate that with you? -And make her cross herself?

No, you're right.

But this "getting stuck in an elevator" idea really sucks.

-Will you take over? -And don't forget about the pediatrician.

I'll take Napoleon to the pediatrician. Don't worry. But you have to trust me.

The elevator encounter will be magical.

You'll share some emotions, a bonding experience, you see?

She's gonna start laughing. [high-pitched laugh]

-"Remember when we got stuck!" -"We were stuck!"

[both laugh]

You're behaving like buffoons! "Remember when we were stuck?"

I'm serious! This is how you become friends.

Hey. Talk to her about our nonprofit. Our charity project, huh?

Although… [snaps fingers] …you gotta loosen up.

I'm Carlo. I'm Carlo.

-I'm Carlo. -Yeah.

This is gonna suck.

[intriguing music playing]

[phone line ringing]

-They're here. -[Antonello] It'll be fine.

Don't worry. I've got Napoleon. Yeah, yeah.

[Napoleon screaming]

Excuse me. Sorry to bother you. But it's an emergency.

Could you hold him?

Thanks. I'll only be a minute. I just have to…

[screaming stops]

Of course he calms down with a stranger.

[phone ringing]

-[Antonello] Hello? -Who's this?

-[Antonello] Federico Spagnoli? -Yes. Who is this?

This is Michelangelo Caputo. Captain of the Naples Fire Brigade.

-Is there some kind of emergency? -It's an evacuation. Get out.

I'll be right there.

Marina, that was the fire brigade. There's a gas leak in my building.

You go on without me. I'll be back soon, okay?

Oh! Marina, remember. Pending charges, safety compliance, energy certificate,

water and power systems from 2011. And sparkle.

-Marina. -[both] Sparkle.

Yeah. Okay.

He's gone. Let's go.

[Vito] Excuse me! Could you hold the elevator, please?

Thank you.

Yes, yes. No. I was just saying that

the village well needs to be finished in a month.

Of course, or else they're gonna die of thirst.

Huh?

Exactly.

Our foundation has already covered the costs. It's no problem.

Elevator… elevator. I think it's… this one!

-[metallic clatter] -[Marina gasps]

No way.

Don't worry. It's all under control.

-[pants] -What?

[distant alarm tone plays]

What's going on now?

Uh, I really don't know, but I'm sure it'll start up again soon, okay?

Nothing.

-You got a signal? -What'd you say?

-A signal? -Uh, do I have a signal? Uh, let's see.

Uh, no, I don't.

What do you mean? Just now, you were on the phone.

I'm not sure. I had it before, but not now, okay?

-[Marina] Is anyone there? -[banging]

Help!

-Might as well be friends. I'm Carlo-- -"Friends"?

Stop talking. We gotta save oxygen.

Okay, but surely one of these controls--

-Don't touch anything, and don't move! -Holy Mother of God!

-Look, I'm claustrophobic. -Ah…

So don't say anything. Do not breathe.

I'll try… I'll try to relax until someone comes, okay?

All right. All right.

[exhales]

Sorry, but how can you not breathe?

[chuckles] That's absurd.

I don't know about you, but I'm always traveling around the world.

I… I never stop.

Sometimes, we're so focused on ourselves, we don't see who's right in front of us.

This should happen more often. Something stops, and we look inside…

-I think I'm about to have a panic attack. -I'm sorry?

I'm having a panic attack!

No, no, no. Calm down. Look at me. You know why I'm calm?

Because even if no one comes to save us, and we're never rescued,

I've done so many good deeds, I'll go to heaven.

Volunteering, fundraising, all kinds of stuff.

Actually, I have a project you might--

-Shut the fuck up, asshole! -[groaning]

[Vito] Let me get this straight.

You knew literally everything about her except that she was claustrophobic?

How was I supposed to know?

I mean, if someone steals your phone,

would they be able to find out your fear of old ladies in floral dresses?

Come on!

-[footsteps approaching] -[gasps]

And I'm the idiot, right? She's not going to bite you, Vito.

I know, but she came out of nowhere.

I just don't get what happened in the elevator.

Okay. Let me figure this out.

-I just want to… -What?

You weren't able to get her to look at the website at all?

-Not even a little bit? -Don't you get it? I tried to show her.

I held my phone up, and she tried to strangle me.

I put in all that effort with the graphics though!

I really wanted her to see my work.

Antoné, truth is, this was a disaster. And you and I are a couple of losers.

Vito, come on! Let's not get bummed out! We'll figure something out!

-Antoné. -What?

Are you sure these aren't prescription glasses?

My eyes are stinging.

Maybe just a touch.

What are you stupid? It hurts my eyes.

Here, her hair is down.

-[woman 1] Marco! -Here too.

[woman 2 on video] You see? You like it!

Right? [laughs]

[intriguing music playing]

-Vito. -Yeah?

-Check it out! -What?

-In this video, her hair is down. -Of course.

Who wouldn't be happy in a house like that?

It's not about the house, okay?

She's usually pissed off.

-It's her default setting. -Uh-huh.

-What is she doing here? -It's obvious. She's cooking.

Right! She's cooking here and over here!

And I'm making the baby's milk. So what?

It's like she loves cooking, you know what I mean?

-Yeah. -Right?

When she can't sleep, she watches MasterChef.

And if Federico suggests that they should go out to eat,

she replies with a million smileys.

-She's happy about it. -Okay, I get it.

She really likes to eat. What do I do about it?

Do I feed her breadcrumbs like she's a pigeon? What do I do?

Uh, no.

What do you have that no one else does?

Sensations of anguish and terror.

Yes. That's true.

But I was thinking about the restaurant.

I'm the lowest grunt worker there, Antoné.

-Yeah, but she doesn't know that. -[chuckles]

So what?

You ate one box already. Why do you always eat the baby's food?

What size are you?

[instructor] Take a deep breath. When you breathe out, tongue out, eyes up!

[all exhaling]

[Antonello] And it's done.

[Antonello humming]

Upsy-daisy. Here we go.

All this effort, and we don't even steal it.

Here we go. Yes.

[both humming]

[phone line ringing]

[woman] Municipal Police. How can I help?

Hello? Yes, good evening.

I'm sorry to bother you, but it's my civic duty

to report a car that does not have disabled permits

but is parked in a disabled spot.

[instructor] Om…

[students] Om…

It's against the law to follow people, you know.

Well, what if you're the one who's following me? Huh?

[exhales]

Om…

[Vito] What are you doing?

You can't interrupt a class like this! Ow!

-I've never seen you before in my life. -Yes.

Now I see you two times in the last week.

And it's obvious you've never done yoga, so don't tell me you're here by chance.

So then, it's destiny. What can I say?

Sometimes there can be a mysterious force that brings people together.

Some call it God. Others call it fate. I don't know what you call it.

-Stalking. -I call it…

It's called stalking.

Come on now. Gotta be careful what you say.

You really think I'm following you after you tried to kill me

when we were stuck in the elevator if you recall?

Listen, I've come back to Naples after ten years abroad.

I've got all these nonprofit projects that keep me up at night.

Forgive me if I'm trying to relax a little by doing yoga, okay?

[exhales] If it's a problem for you, I'll go to a different class.

-Yeah, that'd be great. -Yeah, great.

She's a pain in the ass.

"Be kind… a battle…"

Anyway…

-Sh! -[Vito] No, no, no!

Know that everyone you meet

is fighting a hard battle you know nothing about.

So be kind.

[Marina] I've never parked in a disabled spot!

You need to bring back my car right now!

I--

They're completely insane!

-Speechless! -[Vito] Everything all right?

No.

They towed my car for no reason,

and I won't be able to get it back until tomorrow morning.

Oh, they come up with any excuse to get money from people.

Why is it that whenever you're around, bad things happen?

I think you're a jinx.

It must be karma because you're so mean to me.

Are you calling the cops right now?

No, I'm calling a taxi.

[Vito] Well, good luck, then.

A taxi at this hour in Naples?

[woman's voice] Please hold. We're putting your call through.

Want a lift on my scooter?

Thanks, but I don't take rides from strangers.

But what exactly are strangers?

They're simply friends you haven't gotten to know yet.

But, uh… Tell me something. Do you only speak in quotes?

Uh… Do you want me to give you a ride or not?

If there's something about it you don't like, you can strangle me again.

…this call. An operator will be with you soon.

[funky jazz music playing]

[Vito] So, after I was done volunteering in Senegal,

I ended up going to Ghana and then Gambia.

Basically, I just came back to Naples to take my political science exams.

Where did you go to college?

What?

Oh, I was just curious about where you went to school.

In London and Berkeley.

Ah, I love Berkeley!

-[Marina] Yes, but I missed Naples. -Why did you leave?

My dad said I should leave, so that's what I did.

I work with him at a company called De Leonardi. Do you know it?

No, I don't know it.

Is it a big company?

Well, yes.

Hmm. Never heard of it.

Excuse me, but isn't this the long way around?

I just needed to stop by my restaurant for a sec.

Caritas is picking up some food.

No, but I need to go home right now!

We can't keep Caritas waiting.

Could you bring me those eggplants, please?

[music fades]

[Marina] Uh, they look good.

Yeah, 'course they are.

I don't give 'em expired stuff.

Poverty is not a fault.

I know that. Look, I've done charity work before.

Ah, you have? That's great.

Got it?

[Salvatore] Thank you, Carlo! You're an angel!

What would we do without you?

You know, when you're fortunate, sharing becomes a duty.

Thanks.

I'll be on my way, then.

Miss.

Excuse me one second.

Salvatore. Don't do anything stupid. I need the boxes back here in three hours.

I counted them.

A little trust wouldn't hurt now and then.

A little trust.

What's this? What is this?

Trust, you say, huh?

Vito, listen. I can't help it.

What the fuck am I gonna do with this? Take it.

-[Salvatore] Thank you, Carlo. -You're welcome.

[chuckles]

Finished.

Uh, I wanted to show you something.

Here you go.

This is Amidi and Katou.

WATER AND HOPE NONPROFIT

This is me with them.

Look how cute they are. It feels like I left a piece of my heart there.

The truth is, most of us don't realize how lucky we really are.

If we were to donate a small amount of our wealth to someone else,

we certainly wouldn't miss it.

And yet, it could benefit many others and help them solve a lot of problems.

-You know? -Absolutely. Lovely.

But could you take me home, please? Yeah?

-Of course, yeah. Okay. -Come on.

[intriguing music playing]

Uh, Marina! Just a sec.

I don't know about you, but I am really hungry.

You wanna go eat something?

-No, really. I have to get home. -Come on! Something super quick! Come on!

You can't ask me a question and not listen to the answer!

-Your answers are so predictable. -Excuse me?

It was so hard for you to let me give you a ride,

you clearly never do anything spontaneous.

I bet you've already set your alarm for the morning.

You know where you're going on vacation next summer.

And you schedule dinners with your boyfriend in advance.

Is that right?

How do you know I have a boyfriend?

How do I… Oh, well, I know it because…

because for women like you, love and work come first.

You're probably looking for a house together.

But what do you mean by "women like me"?

I'm not that transparent.

-Oh, no? -No.

Okay.

So if I asked you to cook pasta, you wouldn't think it was a crazy idea?

[lively jazz music playing]

Okay, but I choose what kind.

[Vito] That's more like it!

[music continues]

THE PLAN IS MOVING AHEAD BUT SHE'S COOKING EGGPLANTS…

"She's cooking eggplants…"

HOW DO I TELL HER I DON'T LIKE THEM?

Well, buddy, eat them! Eat them!

Eggplants won't kill you.

So what do you wanna do now?

[chuckles]

Eh?

DO YOU WANT THAT 50,000 EUROS? EAT THEM!

-[Marina] Do you think… -Yeah?

…that a splash of white wine would go well with this?

It might, uh-huh.

Might just experiment.

When I was little, my mother and I used to always invent new dishes.

We ended up with a book of recipes that was this thick.

Really?

Ah, then she really should sample this pasta.

She died two years ago.

Ah. [clears throat]

-I didn't know. Sorry for your loss. -Come over here.

Try it.

-It looks magnificent. -Mm.

[blows]

Oh! This is going on the menu.

-Do you really like it that much? -I swear. It's delicious.

You know what? Hang on.

Mmm.

Let me see. There.

-[laughs] -You're perfect.

[Vito] Why didn't you tell me that she'd lost her mother?

-You made me look like a fool. -[Antonello] You've gotten too emotional.

We have to be badass ninjas without any scruples.

[Vito] You think we're badass ninjas, Antoné?

Talking to her is hard.

I was about to bring up the association, and you know what she did?

She just ran away.

She ran away like you do whenever you see the police.

What? I never run!

-[boy] This place is for kids. -Stop being a baby. Come here!

What are you doing?

Are you stupid?

Oh, you were right about one thing though.

-That thing about cooking. -I know that.

When she was cooking, she was almost pleasant.

-Uh-huh. -Even the spaghetti she made.

The ingredients were a bit unusual, but they all worked.

-Yeah, okay. -I can't explain it.

You don't have to explain it. We're not critiquing a tasting menu here.

I gotta choose the right moment to ask for the donation.

We only make impulsive decisions when we're happy.

[intriguing music playing]

-What's her schedule on Wednesday? -Why?

The restaurant is closed on Wednesdays.

A certain "Carlo" insists on speaking to you.

He's already called three times. Shall I put him through right now?

Uh, yes, yes, put him through.

Francesco.

-Could you remove the partitions on this? -Yeah. Mm-hmm.

These documents…

-[Marina] Hello? -Hi, Marina. It's Carlo.

Listen, I'm sorry I'm calling you at the office.

What do you need? Are you calling to apologize for calling?

Uh, no, I was just being polite.

Listen. "On Wednesday, I'm having a charity event at the restaurant."

"And since, yesterday, your spaghetti was so good,

I wanted to ask if you'd like to cook?"

No, Carlo… [chuckles]

I've never cooked for so many people.

And, not only that, I don't have time.

"Marina, I'm in deep shit."

"It's a total mess. My chef broke his arm."

[sighs]

Both of his arms. Uh, he's basically a vegetable now.

It's a disaster.

I would never ask you.

But you remember the project I told you about?

The aqueduct in Gambia?

If I'm not able to raise more money, they're gonna pull the plug.

I mean, it would be nice.

-But… -[man] All right.

[man] Thank you. Thank you.

It's not possible.

I'm really sorry, um, but I'm not the right person for the job.

Marina, listen.

I don't know you, but I know you're always in a hurry.

[wistful music playing]

My grandfather used to say

that the best things in his life were always unexpected.

I've only seen you a couple of times,

and you seem pissed off.

Not pissed off, exactly, but irritable.

But yesterday, in the kitchen, with the smell of garlic and onions,

you relaxed.

At one point, you even cracked a smile.

And these days, a smile is no small thing.

You know, this life is unpredictable.

You could end up in the ICU,

feeling guilty for all the times you said no.

[Francesco] Excuse me, Marina.

Um, listen, Carlo.

I have to go. Yeah.

Okay. Good luck.

Bye.

[exhales]

What the fuck have you done?

[music fades]

Hey. Who was that on the phone?

I don't-- No one.

No, um, they asked me to cook for a charity event they were hosting.

Um, just this guy who's doing a fundraiser.

And you said?

-No, no, no, no. I said no. -[Federico] No. Right.

-But… -Come on, Marina!

Right now, we have to focus on the hotel.

I'm already working nights to organize it all, you know.

That's fine. It's not a problem.

But you can't screw around pretending to be Rachael Ray.

For charity. Come on.

Focus! Focus!

Excuse me. This package just arrived.

It's for you.

[sentimental music playing]

YOU FORGOT THIS CARLO

Mom, this sauce is for tomorrow.

[mother] You'll make Dad gain another ten pounds!

[mother laughs]

Come on! Let's cut it, Mom!

[mother] It smells so good!

It looks delicious.

I can't get to sleep. You?

Have you ever seen anyone sleep with their eyes open?

Some animals sleep with their eyes open.

Horses, maybe.

I think horses do that.

What the fuck are you talking about? They sleep standing up.

[phone buzzes]

Hey.

-What? -Come here!

-Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! No, no, no, no, no! -[chuckles] Look here.

ONLY IF YOU HELP ME PREPARE THE MENU

-My God! Oh, Vito! You did it, dude! -Oh yeah!

-You're an actual genius! -[laughs]

An actual genius!

She's gonna do it, Napoleon!

-Oh! -She said yes!

[both] And she said yes! And she said yes!

-[cries] -No, no, no, no!

["Suonno" by Capinera playing]

Cabbages, we don't need.

Absolutely. Oh!

These! One more.

Wait. I can't carry everything. Take that one!

FIRST COURSE MAIN COURSE

[music continues]

[Marina] Look at this bottle.

-Okay. -Look.

-Same as the other one. Yeah. -See that?

It's almost empty, so let's put it out of its misery.

All right.

[electronic music playing]

Whoo!

[laughing]

-Ah! -Don't go too crazy.

-Oh wow! -Marina.

[Vito] Damn. A serenade. Unbelievable.

Exactly what we needed.

[Marina gasps]

I've never seen one before!

Marina! Marina!

[crowd singing "O surdato 'nnammurato"]

Marina!

-[man] This glass is for you. -I left the car in the street.

-You know we gotta go. -But, uh…

[Vito] No. Thank you, but none for me.

-But it's champagne. -Okay. Thanks.

Why do you seem stressed out all the time?

I'm stressed out?

Absolutely.

-Can I tell you something I've noticed? -Yes.

-Sometimes you're a pain in the ass. -Ah.

Yes.

[laughs]

-Drink up. -I'll drink, but you won't.

[singing continues]

[singing]

[singing fades]

[emotional music playing]

[door opens]

-[Vito] Sh! -Ow!

-Sorry! Did you hurt your head? -Yes.

-[Marina] Sh. -What a quaint studio apartment you have.

[both shushing]

[Marina laughing]

[Vito] There was a step there.

Okay, where is your bedroom, Marina?

-In the back, to the right. -Sh!

-Do you know… -Why are you shouting?

-[Marina] If my father sees you… -Yeah?

…we'll be in trouble.

[both laugh]

[Vito] What's so funny? Let's not let that happen, then.

-One, two, three. -[Marina moans]

-[exhales] -[Marina moans]

Okay. Good.

[Marina moans]

[Vito] Let's take this off, yeah?

[Marina moans]

The shoes too.

Shoes too. Of course. Sure.

And one.

And two.

So we'll talk tomorrow, yeah?

Carlo.

Did you call me?

What is it?

[moans]

-I wanted to tell you… -Yeah?

I had fun.

[both chuckle]

[Vito] Good night.

We'll talk tomorrow, okay?

[moans]

-Carlo. -What is it?

-[spits, groans] -Damn it.

[Federico] Marina? Have you seen Marina?

[both whisper] Good morning.

-Listen, we'll finish this thing here… -Yeah, I got it.

…and then we can take a break, okay?

[indistinct chattering]

-[clears throat] -We can do them au gratin.

Mirrored.

I'm talking about… the ceilings.

-The hotel ceilings. -Hmm.

-We can do them-- -Mirrored.

I'll go and make some coffee.

I was up until…

I was up late

working on the project.

Marina, will you please tell me what's going on with you?

Nothing. Just tired, that's all…

Well, can I do anything to help?

You know I'm always here for you, don't you?

Mm.

[Federico] Hmm?

Yes.

Yes, I know.

Listen, I was thinking.

Why don't the two of us go out to dinner tonight?

A nice place, quiet.

Total relaxation.

We can look at some real estate ads online to keep searching for--

I'm staying in tonight to finish the rendering.

-We don't wanna get even farther behind. -Yes, but we can take--

About the house-hunting… Let's put that off for a while.

What? No, but--

I think right now, it's best not to waste our energy, right? You always say that.

Focus.

[Vito] If we don't catch any fish, no lunch tomorrow.

[Marina] I thought we were going to buy fish, not catch them.

-[Vito] Really? -Yes.

[Vito] But it's better this way. Isn't it? Whoa.

Come on, give me the line.

Isn't that the guy from Caritas?

Who, him? The guy from Car--

No, no. That's… that's Mirko. They're twins.

[chuckles] I'm Mirko. I can't stand the poor.

-I've had it up to here with them! -Good. Give me the line.

-I, Mirko, will give you the line. -Give me the line!

-Yeah. Go! See you, Mirko. Thanks. -We're gonna get arrested.

[Marina] Why does he hate the poor?

[Vito] No, he's just kidding. He's a joker, you know? A prankster.

Do you wanna drive?

You gotta be crazy.

Why not? There's no one around. It's open ocean.

That's what the captain of the Titanic said.

-Go ahead. -No. Wait, Carlo.

I surrender the wheel.

-[crying] -Changing time! Yes! A new diaper for you!

Come on now. It's been… Calm down, Napoleon!

It's time to settle down! You've been crying for the past two hours!

Come on. Let's go get some rest, okay?

Please! Stop, stop!

Oh! You're really burning up.

My God! You're like an oven.

What am I supposed to do?

-[Vito] Wait, wait. Okay. Take it. -[Marina laughs]

[Vito] All right, hand me the buoy.

Got it? Here, here.

Thanks.

All right, so what do we do now?

Uh, nothing. Now we wait.

-Ah! -Oh, that's right.

I forgot you're not used to waiting.

[seagull squawking]

[emotional music playing]

[ringtone] It's your brother. The handsome one! Vito, pick…

[Marina chuckles]

How am I supposed to get rid of this… stinky fish smell? [laughs]

Fishermen usually wash it off with seawater.

Ah.

-Seawater, huh? -Mm-hmm.

-Whoo! -Marina!

Well, she's completely bonkers.

Marina.

Are you crazy?

It's freezing!

Wash yourself properly! You stink too!

-I stink? -Yes! [laughs]

No!

[emotional music continues]

Listen, are you ready to go back?

I don't really feel like going back to the office.

-Hmm. Oh, no? -Mm.

Well, you're the boss, so you don't have to.

That's one of the perks. You can do what you want.

It's not that simple.

Can I tell you something?

Sure.

Sometimes it seems life has chosen you,

not the other way around.

We can't always do whatever we want.

Oh, no?

[music fades]

[Antonello] Get that dog out of here! I've got a baby!

Can you do it?

[Marina] Of course I can.

-Where's it go? -On top.

[Napoleon crying]

Vito! Crap. What's his name?

Carlo! Carlo!

Antonello!

-What are you doing here? -I called you like 200 times!

-Why didn't you answer? -Why? I was fishing with her.

Why did you call and bring the baby?

-You were fishing, but it's an emergency. -Emergency?

Napoleon's at 99 degrees!

-99 degrees? -Yes!

-But why? -How do I know?

Wait. Now I see why. Can't you see he's got a tooth coming in?

It's normal to have a fever.

How would I know that, huh? Is it true, Napoleon?

Is it a new tiny tooth?

It's a new tiny tooth! Give me the baby's wipe, please.

Naughty boy. Why didn't you tell me you had a new tooth?

Sure! He'd say, "Uncle, I have a new tooth!"

-He could've let me know about it. -Watch what you say.

Don't make me look bad.

Surprise!

-Here we are. -[Antonello] Hi.

Hi.

See, Antonello?

When his tooth hurts, you just take a little piece of ice…

and then you put it on his tooth, just there.

You see that? It's normal for him to have a slight fever.

Huh. Yeah, but how would I know?

Okay, then. Sorry about that.

-Go back to what you were doing. -[Vito] See you.

What's up, little one?

Here we are. Here we are.

A normal fever.

He's… my colleague.

He's, um, my son's babysitter.

-Ah! -Yes. Yes. Yes. He has a little cough.

What's up, huh?

How many things do I not know about you?

Well, this certainly is the one that matters the most.

Right, little Napoleon?

His name is Napoleon?

Sure. His name needed to be important.

Ah! That's how you put pressure on children. Poor thing.

Napoleon, I sympathize with you.

Look here, little one.

And his mom?

His mother, she was young.

At first, she was in love.

Then things got complicated, and she got scared, and…

and here we are.

Weren't you scared when things got a bit complicated?

Of course. I was terrified.

But…

But?

Listen, can you be half an hour late to the office?

[sighs]

Was that a yes? Yes?

What do you say, Napoleon?

[coos]

-He said yes. -Is that right?

-Yeah. -All right.

♪ No one has a right ♪

♪ Until they've fought my fight ♪

♪ To understand… ♪

I remember when his mother told me she was expecting Napoleon.

I thought that it would be too much,

that I couldn't do it.

So I came here.

I feel peace in this place.

[Vito] It's called Seven Works of Mercy.

Imagine Caravaggio standing all alone in front of a blank canvas.

He must have been scared.

He probably thought, "What do I do now?"

"What if it turns out to be crap?"

But he summoned his courage.

And brushstroke after brushstroke, he made this masterpiece.

Ultimately, everything's up to us.

Not everything.

But a lot of things are.

[phone buzzes]

[music fades]

[Marina sighs]

[phone line ringing]

[Federico] Nothing. She's not answering me either.

I don't understand what's going on with her lately.

She's stressed about the hotel.

By the way, how's it going?

What can I say, Vittorio?

It's going marvelously.

In just about a week, these shambles will disappear,

and we'll start to work.

An empty building smack-dab in the center.

A splendid effort. My compliments.

[both chuckle]

[Vittorio] Could someone clear the underpass for me, please?

[Vito] Oh no! No! Look what I have here.

Your toys, little one.

Po, po, po! Here, play.

Where have you been this whole time, Vito?

Where have I been? We went for a walk. That's all.

That sure was a long night, wasn't it?

Yeah, sure was.

Don't tell me you actually have feelings for her.

-[chuckles] What? Are you kidding me? -[groans]

Because we have a plan to stick to.

The lunch is today. Nothing can go wrong.

It's as if the guy who was supposed to assassinate Hitler

fell in love with him instead.

-That's a stupid analogy. -Yeah, well, it fits.

I'm gonna have some coffee. I'm tired.

So is your part of the operation all taken care of?

Everything's good.

You sure Marina won't notice all the millionaires are on welfare?

She won't notice anything.

Hmm.

[funky music playing]

That's good. This one too. And this one. This isn't finished yet.

No, no, Eugenio! Take that off! Look at the Dior!

The D is backwards, and it's way too long. It looks like a dress.

Take this one. Put this on.

Peppina. No! I've told you already! No curly hair!

All rich women have waves, not curls, you hear me?

I know, but I can't style them all the same!

All rich women look alike too. They're like a tribe.

All right. Oh, no, no, no! That jacket is no good.

-Sasà, an elegant jacket! -Yes, here it is!

Yeah, uh… No, ma'am, please. Not that. I'm sorry. No floral dresses.

My brother Vito has a phobia. Move, move!

No, not with the hat! Take it off! You look like Pablo Escobar!

And you, goddammit! I told you. To take your earrings off…

As you can see, the Hotel Marina design respects the soul of the city,

compressing space into an organic form

thanks to its chameleonic and polyvalent structure.

Everyone gather around! Everyone over here!

-Everybody! -Come on! Everyone over here!

-Gather around! -Hurry up!

[Antonello] Come on! Come on! Come on! Let's recap.

So at one o'clock, those on the ground floor enter,

followed by those on the first floor five minutes later.

Then come those on the second, and so forth.

Now one thing is very important.

-Dialect is not allowed. -[woman] What do you mean?

-Don't speak Neapolitan at all, okay. -[crowd] Oh!

[Vittorio] All done according to the principles of green building.

Most importantly, speak in silence.

-How do we speak in silence, Antoné? -Yeah, how do we speak in silence?

We'll try this. Let's not speak at all, and that'll be less risky.

WE NEED TO START THE PREPARATIONS

Marina will explain it all better than I can.

Forgive me, but I really have to go.

But, Marina…

Mr. Spagnoli and I worked on the project together.

He can explain everything to you.

Excuse me.

Mr. Spagnoli, go ahead. Let's move on, shall we?

-[music fades] -Let's go, let's go, let's go! Come on!

-Come on! Come on! Let's go! -What if I screw up?

You can go back to being a fisherwoman. Let's go. Come on, hurry up.

Here we are.

Hi there.

It's the babysitter.

-Yeah. He's a jack-of-all-trades. -Uh, yes.

It's just that I'm a generous guy.

I like making myself available and helping others, is all.

I've heard lots of wonderful things about you, Chef.

[chuckles]

Carlo, is your son going to… stay in here?

Yeah. He's fine in here.

Yeah, he likes to play in the kitchen with carrots and vegetables.

Yeah.

Okay, then. Let's start.

All right. You finish up. I sliced the bread and the vegetables.

-You keep an eye on Napoleon. -Go, go, go.

-All the best, Chef. -Keep on top of the service now.

Eugenio, you're not at your house!

Let me show you. This goes here. Elbows here, off the table.

Napkin in your lap. Keep an eye on him. Don't make me look bad.

You think you're on your couch? Give me this.

-[Luigino] Good evening. -Quiet!

Keep it down! Do not greet each other! Quiet! Calm down, everybody!

Have a seat here. Carmen, here.

[Napoleon babbles]

-Why aren't they talking to each other? -What?

-You think they don't like it? -No! No!

She thinks… she thinks they don't-- No, it's a question of manners, actually.

Yeah. They're shy too.

Uh, it's just how they are, but you'll see later. They'll perk up.

-Don't worry, really. -You think?

-Yeah. -Yeah, of course.

Yeah.

["Praja Magia" by Nu Genea playing]

[inaudible]

You all look like a bunch of dead people!

Talk to each other a little bit! You should be talking to each other!

Raise your voices a little!

No! Too much! Drop it! Drop it!

A little less here, and a little more there.

-Antonello. -Don't call me by my name!

-It's "Waiter." -Sorry.

We want two more decomposed Napoleon pastries.

Not "decomposed." "Deconstructed." But anyway, we can't.

Come on, Antonello! Please!

Hey, would this help at all?

-Don't go away. -Thanks.

Come here. Stir the pasta, please.

That's what I'm here for.

Smell it.

It's odd. I don't know anyone.

What do you mean? What?

Usually, it's always the same people at charity events, and I know them all.

Because those who wanna be seen go to those events.

I'm not interested in those people.

These are all good people who wanna help, but they wanna stay out of the spotlight.

-It's ready. -[man] Excuse me.

Would it be possible to have an encore? It was unbelievably good.

Mr. Vitale, we'll bring it out to you.

Antonello, would you take him back to his seat, please?

Mr. Vitale, we'll bring it to you. Don't worry. [laughs]

He liked it so much that he's feeling bold.

Are you insane? You think it's self-serve? Get back to your seat. Don't get up again!

-As a punishment, you don't get dessert! -Please!

Stop begging! No dessert!

Hey! Antonello. Hey. If you want, I can eat his dessert.

-No, better not. I'm doing it for you. -[disappointed groan]

[music fades]

-[Vito] They're beautiful. -Really?

-Yeah. -Do you think they enjoyed it?

[Vito] Of course they did. Maybe a little too much.

Hmm. I don't know.

-It seems kind of weird. -What does?

Listen, I think I'll take a walk around the dining room to see if they're happy.

-No, no, no, no, no, no! Wait, Marina! -[Napoleon crying]

It's probably not a good idea.

These are reserved people, you know? Come on, let's go.

Don't worry, Carlo. I'll be discreet.

-But, Marina, I said no, okay? -What's wrong?

Nothing. It's just…

There's some…

I don't want you to be disappointed.

You know?

They're not very demonstrative, these people.

-Carlo. -What?

I would always rather know the truth than not.

[uneasy music playing]

[Antonello] Quiet, quiet.

-Hello there. -[woman] The chef.

[guests murmuring]

How are you?

-How was everything, sir? -Uh, eh…

[scattered applause]

[uplifting music playing]

Now it's your turn.

Uh-huh.

[clears throat]

Ladies and gentlemen,

I wanted to give you a little introduction to the aqueduct project in Gambia

before moving on to the donations, of course.

But first, I'd like to propose another round of applause for our chef.

[guests cheering]

[whispers] Thanks.

Thank you.

[pensive music playing]

YOU FORGOT THIS CARLO

[Napoleon cries]

[Antonello] Okay, guys, we're leaving now.

It's getting late. Napoleon needs his nap, right?

Bye, Antoné. I'll see you at home.

-[Marina] Bye. -Bye.

[wistful music playing]

It was incredible.

So? Did it go well?

Kinda.

Hey.

What's wrong?

You do everything in your power to make things work out.

You do everything right.

But no matter what, in the end, something always goes wrong.

And it's always the wrong people who pay the price.

But…

Are you saying you didn't raise the amount you needed to raise?

Yeah.

[dishes clatter]

So? What now?

You gonna give up?

Um, I don't know what else to do, Marina.

I did the best I could.

How much do you need?

-Ah, here they are. Antonello! -[Antonello] Hello!

[wistful music continues]

Maybe we'd better go, Marina.

Yeah.

[Napoleon coos]

[Antonello] Oh! Oh no!

It's a mess.

[music fades]

I knew it. She didn't do it.

She did.

No way! We did it!

We're a couple of geniuses!

Masterminds! Right, Napoleon?

When do we get it?

Tomorrow morning.

What's with the long face, then?

We can't accept it.

-It's gotten out of hand. -"Gotten out of hand"? What do you mean?

I mean, I can't do something like this to her.

Marina trusts me.

-Yeah! That's the point! -That is the point!

Listen to me, half-wit! Do you realize we're out of time?

The judge knows about the foreclosure.

If they take our house away, we'll lose Napoleon!

Give me Napoleon. Come to Daddy.

Let's go, little one.

He needs some fresh air.

I was wrong. You're not a half-wit. You're a no-wit.

-[sighs] -[gentle piano music playing]

[phone chimes]

You wanna know the truth, Antoné?

[Vito] We thought we knew everything about Marina,

but we were actually clueless.

[sighs]

Hello.

We need to…

We need to talk.

Yes, we do need to talk.

[Antonello] Vito!

Vito! You can't get screwed over by another woman!

That money means nothing to her, but it changes everything for us though.

So then, what's your plan?

Sit down.

Come on.

When the social workers eventually show up to take Napoleon…

we're gonna be gone,

a long way away.

From now on, I'm Vito again.

I'm done with the charade.

[gentle piano music continues]

[music fades]

Who the hell are you?

Take him. Take him.

Marina, we were in deep shit.

We tried to find a solution.

[Marina sighs]

Was any of it…

Was any of it true, Carlo?

Is that even your name?

-[Vito breathes deeply] -[scoffs]

How the fuck did I ever trust you? [scoffs]

[Vito] Marina!

If you contact me again, I'm calling the police.

[door closes]

[dog barking in distance]

How could you be so naive?

I don't understand how you can get scammed like this.

Let alone by those two bums.

Obviously, your father mustn't find out about all of this.

Now we proceed with the correct course of action.

[car engine starts]

["AMANDOTI" by SETTEMBRE playing]

[inaudible]

We'd been working on this project for seven years.

The buildings, particularly in this city, represent a kind of architecture…

Hey. Be careful!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

[music continues]

[music fades]

[Antonello] Iceland?

Let's open a cuoppi and babà stand!

In Iceland?

It's too fucking cold.

[Antonello] You're right.

"Tallinn. Flights from 19 euros 90 cent."

Hmm. Where the fuck is Tallinn?

Vito, you know what?

-Come here, little one. -Who even gives a fuck?

We'll find out when we land there!

It's inspiring, don't you think? Tallinn. It's got a nice ring to it.

"Where do you live?"

"Actually, I recently moved to Tallinn."

Tallinn! Isn't it inspiring? Doesn't it sound nice to you?

It does to my ears. Napoleon, should we book our flights?

-[Luigino] Hey, guys. -Hey.

[Luigino] Have you seen the chef?

They went ahead and bought our building,

and they wanna replace it with a five-star luxury hotel.

What? Let me see.

[Luigino] According to this article,

the De Leonardi firm has been working on this project

for the last two years now.

They wanna tear down the building. We're all pissed off.

We have to cause a stir.

I told you to leave me alone.

[Vito] Well done! I wanted to congratulate you.

You had your sights set on our building,

so you did everything you could to get us out.

The rat invasion.

The plumbing issues.

And finally, the risk of collapse. Genius.

Great job.

In two years, you got rid of everyone.

Well, except me and Antoné.

So what did you go ahead and try?

Scamming Antonello.

It takes talent to trick people like that.

We're not as clever as you are.

Beautiful work, Madame Architect.

[uneasy music playing]

Are you coming?

No, I still have more to do.

Call you later.

[intriguing music playing]

Operations, documents,

building…

What does "liberated" mean?

"Demolition request, building code compliance,

Naples City Hall manager

Carmine Formisano."

CARMINE FORMISANO NAPLES CITY HALL

What the fuck have you done, Federico?

BUILDING OFFICER

[intriguing music continues]

-[sighs] -[music fades]

I didn't con anyone out of anything. They sold, and I purchased.

The luckiest ones only got half its value.

Marina, obviously, I did it for us! For De Leonardi, for the hotel!

No, you did it in order to pocket three million euros and impress my dad.

-That's ridiculous. -What's going on?

Did you know that the building we bought is not at risk of collapse?

What are you saying?

To call it a pile of shit is an understatement.

That's not true. The problems started when you wanted them to.

Vittorio, please, you understand, don't you?

This is the biggest project De Leonardi has ever undertaken.

Tomorrow, an associate of mine is issuing a demolition permit.

We'll tear down that building, construct our future.

It's senseless to waste years of hard work.

-We all have something to gain. -No.

We're going to cancel the project and put everything back the way it was.

Hey, Giorgio. Hold on for a minute, will you?

If anything comes out, I'm not going down alone.

The signatures aren't mine.

My dear Giorgio. Yes, yes, we're almost there. Yeah, yeah.

[door closes]

What does she want now?

[Marina] Yes, I know.

But we have to work together now, even though we hate each other.

Says who? You?

Do you wanna save your building or not?

Yes.

-Hello. -Isn't that the guy who hates poor people?

I don't hate poor people. They asked me to say that--

Salvatore, quiet. The baby's sleeping.

Shall we get started?

-[Antonello slurps] -[intriguing music playing]

After the plumbing problems and the cockroaches,

Federico bribed a city hall official,

who lied and certified the building was about to collapse.

I remember that bastard!

He pretended he was taking measurements in the building with that thing--

Very good. Now sit.

So then what happened? Everyone decided they should leave.

Everyone except you two. So what did Federico do?

He chose to prey on the one that was the most…

-The most stupid. Okay, I know. -[Marina] The demolition is tomorrow.

Federico wants to destroy the evidence and build the hotel.

-This plan of his is really high-level. -Mm.

Can I just ask you something? Sorry to interrupt.

Do you know if Federico conducts any kind of training courses?

No, I'm not kidding. He's super clever. I don't know if you thought about this.

She never noticed anything out of the ordinary.

Sure, but it's not her fault because the poor girl was blinded by love.

What? Are you annoyed you're not the only one who conned me?

Excuse me. Uh, look. I wanna remind you both

that we have a big problem we need to solve, okay?

We have to stick together on this.

-Yeah, tell her. -Tell him.

So what's this brilliant idea you were about to share with us?

I took inspiration from you and checked Federico's schedule.

He canceled an appointment he had tomorrow with the mayor.

Only reason he'd do that is if he had a more important appointment.

So we'll follow him.

Careful. Don't get too close, or he'll recognize you.

Recognize me? You're the one wearing that dress!

What? What's wrong with my dress?

What's wrong? It's red! Not at all noticeable!

-What do you mean? -Hold on!

[music intensifies]

You could've told me about all this before.

Things might've gotten resolved,

and you wouldn't have had to pretend to be someone else.

At least I knew that I was pretending to be someone else.

[man] Step back!

[music subsides]

Madam, please, you need to move.

What's he doing?

I don't know. I can't see squat.

Fuck! It's him! Come here! Come here!

So I was thinking about something just now.

I think the perfect thing would be if we were to shoot a video, right?

-But… from above. -A video?

'Cause we can't see shit from down here.

Right?

Perfect.

-Considering all the bullshit you spout… -Marina! Wait!

…every once in a while, you have a good idea.

Slow down! Take it easy!

-Climb up the scaffold now. -You want me to climb up there?

Move it! They're not gonna wait for us! Come on!

[Vito] Hold on a second.

Goddammit!

[Vito exhales]

-I'm almost there. All right? -Careful you don't fall!

Now you tell me to be careful.

-I can see it all. -Shoot the video.

-What? -Shoot the video!

I will. Just let me get my phone first.

Hi there.

Hey, buddy! What's up? I'm shooting a video. Don't worry.

Yeah, yeah, all right.

[Vito] I'm almost done here.

-[boy laughs] -What the fuck?

Hey, kid! What are you doing? Why are you squirting me?

Where's your mom? Did you eat your mother?

[boy] Hold on, I'll be right back.

-I'm gonna reload. -Yeah, sure, you go reload.

Wait.

Okay, yeah.

-Marina, I got it. -[Marina] We have to tell my father!

-They exchanged documents and money! -Keep recording!

-Hey! A thief! Get out of here! -Jesus! An old lady in a floral dress!

-God, a thief! -Here comes an old lady.

-You're gonna make me-- -Get down from there!

-Wait, you-- I'm not-- -[lady] Get down!

-[Vito] I'm not a thief! -It's okay!

-Get down! -You're gonna make him fall!

[cat screeches]

-[Marina] Oh my gosh! -Holy Mother! What have I done?

What's going on out here?

Nothing. He was climbing the wall.

I killed a thief.

[groans]

-[in pain] You wish, ma'am. -Is the phone broken?

-[moans] Oh God. No, it's here. -Good.

God, it hurts. Everything hurts, Marina.

Yeah, you should've been careful.

[Vito] My legs, my stomach, my back. Everything hurts!

[groans] But it's nothing.

[Marina] Excuse me a minute.

I mean, I'm wearing a helmet, so I didn't get hurt. You know?

[groans]

What the fuck are you doing here?

-I was about to ask you the same thing. -Are you following me?

I wanted to see how you work

since you're the master swindler.

I thought we agreed on this project.

[scoffs]

Agreed on what, exactly, Federico?

Because I don't remember you asking my opinion on any of the important stuff.

Or am I wrong?

Marina!

[sighs]

[Federico] You were never good at deciding what was best for yourself,

let alone anything else.

[scoffs]

That's true.

But ever since I started, I feel so much better.

Take care, Federico.

I'll see you in court.

[wistful music playing]

[officer's whistle blowing]

[muffled screaming]

[officer's whistle blowing]

[muffled] Stop! Stop that! Hey!

Stop everything! Stop that!

[crowd cheering]

[inaudible]

Hey. Hi, Vito.

-You've become the perfect father. -You could say that.

-But "Uncle" is more than enough. -Uh-huh.

-[Vittorio] These are yours. -[Peppe] Mine are blue.

Oh my God!

This would go quicker if you gave them out.

-Thank you. -The pacifier's mine!

Marina.

We did it.

Do you really think everything's good between the two of us?

You saved the company from disaster.

I just did what I thought was the right thing to do.

And that's what I wanna keep doing, Dad.

The firm belongs to you,

not me.

Miss, I wanna reiterate my compliments on the Napoleon pastry.

-I dream about it at night. -[laughs]

Are you the father of the cook?

-Uh… -Yes.

There's a lot of things I need to catch you up on. But, yes, this is my father.

-My compliments to you too. -Thank you.

-Vito. -Hey.

Take Napoleon. He wants his dad now.

Come here, little one.

[both] There you go.

Come to Daddy.

Should we give Uncle a hug? He's done well. Yeah?

Come here.

Do you remember that book of recipes Mom made?

Yes. What about it?

Sorry to disturb you.

I just wanted to thank you.

Thank you, Mr. De Leonardi.

Thank you, Marina.

[Marina chuckles]

[coos]

Okay. Come on, let's go.

Come with me.

[Antonello chuckles]

Ha! Well, we're back!

Can't believe we went through that whole hassle… for this shitty place.

But I missed it.

I missed it.

Oh well, he's not even listening.

[indistinct chattering]

Antoné, I can't find my phone. Would you call it for me, please?

Sure.

[phone buzzes]

[ringtone] Vito, pick up! It's your brother! The handsome one!

Vito, pick up! It's your brother! The handsome one!

Vito, pick up! It's your brother! The handsome one!

[phone continues ringing]

[ringing stops]

[sentimental music playing]

ANTO: MARINA, LISTEN TO THIS

[Vito] You wanna know the truth, Antoné?

We thought we knew everything about Marina…

but we were actually clueless.

I'm not gonna take her money.

But this whole mess served a purpose.

I like Marina.

I like her, Antoné.

I like a rich woman who dresses with style

and speaks five different languages, but not mine.

And maybe that's why I like her.

I like her because, despite the nice clothes

and the five-star restaurants, she's as messed up as me.

But even though she's messed up, she fights.

She fights with such strength that when I look at her, she wakes me up

and makes me ask myself,

"Why am I waiting to reveal my own strength?"

Marina brought me out of my shell

when I was convinced that not even bombs would be able to.

But she was the one who did it.

[music soars]

-[man] Is the sauce ready? -[woman] In ten minutes.

I came by to return your cell phone.

I'm not a thief like you.

Thanks. She came to bring me my phone.

That is why you came, right?

-No. -Mm.

Also, to let you know you have crappy taste.

-You don't like Mengoni. -[scoffs]

-You dress like a teenager. -[sighs]

[Marina] And also, excuse me,

what's with that drug dealer rock you wear in your ear?

Not to mention the trashy tattoo you have.

You know, the one from the '90s that tattoo artists won't do anymore.

And you like those films where everyone shoots everyone,

and you can't understand a thing.

Okay, so let me get this straight.

You came all the way over here to tell me I suck, huh?

Yes.

Well, you don't suck.

[music soars]

[chuckling]

Well, she didn't come because of the phone.

-[laughing] -[Vito] What?

[indistinct chattering]

Hey, Antoné!

Vito, how many stuffed peppers do you have left?

We only have two left.

[Luigino] I'll take 'em.

[Peppe] We have dibs on them!

[Luigino] What? I said it first!

Everybody, calm down!

Vito, can you send down some appetizers so we can fix the situation?

-Cheap bastard. -These two are about to come to blows!

-Those are ours. -Come on. Let's move.

There you are, sir. Speedy delivery to you.

-[Vito] How are we doing here? -[Marina] You tell me.

We're nearly out of everything.

There's only a bit of eggplant parmigiana and a mozzarella braid left.

But I told you that you needed to buy more stuff.

Hey, relax, or I'm gonna go back to work with my father, okay?

Hey, my love, but you know that we poor people eat a lot.

What a stingy bastard! Didn't even leave a one-euro tip!

And then he says, "We're just gonna sit here for a spell."

-Put a spell on them. -What am I, a witch? Do I ride a broom?

-Guys, I think we need to set some rules. -Mm. That's not a bad idea, you know?

No, no, stop there! Set rules? What rules? No rules!

The only rule here is deconstructed restaurant.

-[doorbell rings] -That's it. Period. Bye-bye.

-I'm telling you, I'll fire him. -I'm telling you, I agree.

You can't fire me. I'm an entrepreneur now!

[Vito] He's an entrepreneur!

-[Antonello] Who is it? -Here.

[man] Hello.

-[Vito] Who is it? Who is it? -[Marina] Where's the…

No one! The mailman!

Then why don't you tell me that? God, he's so annoying!

What is it?

-Nothing. A fine. I'll pay it later. -What do you mean "a fine"?

-Let me see. -[Antonello] Uh, I said it's a fine.

-I'll explain later. -Let me see.

I'll explain later! It's personal stuff!

-Marina, help! -Why me?

-Let me see what it is! -Hey! Wait, wait, wait!

Take a look! The judge granted you sole custody.

-You're… -[Antonello laughs]

Read it!

Are you serious?

-That's what it says. -[relieved chuckling]

This is the best news of my whole life.

[laughing]

Napoleon, we did it, my little one!

[Napoleon coos]

[Antonello laughing]

Yeah! Are you happy? Problem solved!

-What is this? -Nothing.

-What is it? -Uh, uh, listen.

I don't know, but I'm sure it's not… It's just--

Okay. It's not what it looks like. I can explain.

Explain, huh? Let me read it, then.

-"Distinguished Antonello Esposito." -[Napoleon screaming]

You, distinguished?

Not that I'm aware of.

"You're expected at the members' meeting in Tokyo, October 25th,

for your appointment to the board of directors."

-I'm gonna kill you now. -No, wait.

-Look at the bright side. -I am looking at the bright side!

She's right. There's a bright side to this.

You're hurting me!

I'm telling you, there's a bright side to the whole thing if you just let-- Ah!

-I'm holding the plates here! -You'd better run!

[Marina] Just listen. Vito.

Napoleon and I have discussed it, and we would love to go to Tokyo.

-It's a great idea, Vito! -Watch what I do to Uncle now!

Antoné!

[Antonello] It's not my fault. They won't stop. I had to respond!

They keep sending me letters! It's not my fault!

[Vito] Antoné, what is the story?

["Salvm l'anm" by Morfuco & Tonico 70 playing]

THE LOVE SCAM

[music continues]

[music fades]